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#that was the idea for bottom doodle anyway

darqx · 24 days

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Snakes on a post

Another particularly long answer dump since i, once again, have a backlog of things to potentially answer |D

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

Got jumpscared with my own old art for a hot minute there LAUGHS.

(For those wondering, the naga doodle from here was attached to the ask)

That is every other Royal that exists in the Nether and also at least some of the demons that challenged him for his Royal title lol.

Believe me, no one was or is more surprised then me XD;

So, the thing about where Rire's ichor manifests is that it kinda exists and doesn't exist at the same time. Meaning that his upper back is where the manifestation point is anchored, BUT it can still manifest with a bit of space in between it and his back hence why it will manifest over his clothes and not through them.

So if you touch where the manifestation point is sans the ichor, than you are just straight up touching his back. With the ichor, he still gets sensory input from the tentacles to his back but it's a lot more soft and muted esp the further away it gets from him. As you've seen implied though, he would feel a very sharp pain if a great deal of damage was done to the ichor where it clusters at the manifestation point, since he'd DEF be feeling that straight in his back lol.

He is definitely a top and the only way he would bottom for anybody is if they somehow forced him to.

Ah i knew i'd answered this a long time ago [finally found it]! Holy crosses (those that have been blessed) can also burn him but they would need to be in contact with him the entire time. Being a Royal he also has more of a tolerance to these than normal demons.

Well, unless said person actually has the undeniable ability to make good on their words, Rire would just stand there rather genially with that little smile he sometimes has and let them finish.

And then he might use them as reverse suggestions for dealing with said person (why would you give him any ideas!!?)

both

In BTD canon it is quite possible that they actually haven't in person. But we are using creative license here haha.

Rire heals a lot faster than a human. Cain is not my character so I don't know how his stacks up.

I've grouped these asks cos they kind of have similar answers - 360° (jk sorry sorry to the second q that is just a very common spelling mistake and I couldn't resist XD; )

Now, even though we mashed all the characs together in BTD, they all actually come from different storylines and so their canons outside the "BTD canon" may differ. This tends to bleed in. With this in mind:

The rules of Rire's canon (eg the concept of Battle Royales and how to become a Royal) don't apply to Cain. Anyway, they don't live in the same place either.

Cain is canonically the oldest and most OP character in BTD lol so yes he is stronger than Rire - you might've noticed, but Rire is never in the same drawing as Cain voluntarily. I play with this along with the "natural weakness" aspect - which I've also referred to as scissors-paper-rock rules XD Basically; demons beat humans, angels beat demons (purely because demons have weakness against holiness).

It would (be insane) but I hope you are not looking at me to fulfil this :d

Not really

His coronation day is a public holiday in his sector so yes XD

Aww thank you very much for your interest! ≧(´▽｀)≦ It's really cool that some of you guys want to actually fund such a thing - I'd have thought you'd have enough of him killing you in BTD1 XD Unfortunately, I have no plans for a Rire game at the moment as I'm working on a webcomic which looks like it will take up all my free time (that being said, he will be in the webcomic at some point).

Nope! Although i can kinda see why you might think that lol.

Whatever that one is where he doesn't particularly care what someone else identifies as. It really makes no difference to him or how he will act.

There are viruses in the Nether that if contracted could potentially kill you, yes. Part of being a Royal is becoming a lot more robust than normal Demons though. As for if/when Rire dies, I dunno maybe either in a Battle Royale somewhere thousands of years down the line or by old age (which is rare for a Royal but not impossible if you play your cards right).

If you are asking if he has a heat/rut of some sort, he does not |D

#boyfriend to death #art #rire answer dump #answer dump #doodle #long post #decided to actually redesign what a naga rire would viably look like since the old design was bad XD

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silksongeveryday · 3 months

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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!

1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!

Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.

I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??

(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)

A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.

So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)

I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.

Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.

Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol

I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over

Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!

Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!

#silksongeveryday #ssed #hollow knight #silksong #hk hornet #hollow knight hornet #silksong hornet #hollow knight fanart #hk fanart

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thetrashywritingwitch · 1 month

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Despite his parents' success in fashion and design, Katsuki just doesn't get it. That kind of visual creativity isn't something he naturally inherited like his quirk or how he annoyingly is the spitting image of his mother. It never seemed important. What benefit could he get out of art that would help him as a Hero? To him, jack shit.

Yeah, someone designed his suit and support items. Or rather, brought his shitty doodle idea to life. But that's their job, not his. He still remembers being scolded for folding one of his dad's client sketches into a paper airplane and sailing it out the second story window.

He barely remembers the middle school field trip to an art museum. Didn't pay attention to whatever the guide had to say, and didn't much care. Katsuki and his lackeys friends just joked around the entire time. All the weird, abstract stuff was ugly. All the realistic stuff was boring. No painting was gonna prove important to meeting his goal.

... However, it pissed him off that the stupid art classes he had to take caused him so much grief. He could easily get an A in every other class, but the string of B's in every art class from middle school up through UA felt like a stain on his good record. Why the hell did he need to draw vases and shit anyway?!

Katsuki Bakugo sucked at art, and he hated it. It was the one thing he couldn't figure out. He could study and memorize for a test, easy. He could practice and train to perfect his quirk, strength, and endurance. But all his drawings were rough and sloppy. His lines were shaky and uneven. Painting was messy, and if he fucked up, he couldn't easily erase it or start over like a math problem. Whatever, he didn't need to know this stuff anyway. Waste of time and energy when he had more important things to worry about.

So it comes as an uncomfortable shock when a friend sends him a DM of some art they found. "Hey it's you!! Saw this on my feed." And it's... Yeah, it's him. The tags at the bottom confirm it. Of course, his actual account wasn't tagged because he goes out of his way to actively avoid people begging for his attention so badly.

But it's weird. It's not some high impact action shot. Or copy of his unsightly mug screengrabbed from an interview. He's calm. Serene, almost. He never saw himself as "pretty" or whatever the weirdo fan clubs call him. He's got scars on scars and a scowl deep enough to reach the Earth's molten core.

He never considered the difference between how artists see the world vs how he sees it. Or how he sees himself. Is that why it never clicked? He lacks an ability that can't be acquired by training or studying harder than everyone else?

It makes him grimace.

Clicking your profile, he scrolls the gallery to see that it's all art. His portrait isn't the most recent, either. There's this confidence in the mark-making, like you know how it's gonna look before the brush hits the paper. And he knows something about confidence - that to back it up, you gotta work for it.

He knows the bubble of jealousy, too. But that's stupid. This stuff doesn't do him any good. It's not useful. It doesn't help him. So why does he absentmindedly push the "Follow" button before hiding his phone in his back pocket?

The notification ding vibrates your phone as you're eating lunch. Another spam text to block? Surprisingly, no. "New follower on Instagram: Dynamight_Official"

#bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha headcanons #bakugo x reader #mha x reader #dont ask i've had artist au's in my head for many ages #living vicariously through this like no one's business lmaoooo #many thoughts probably too many

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rassicas · 8 days

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hi there! i was wonderin' ya could translate a bit of cuttlefishs page in the s3 artbook- more specifically the text next to his doodles (and ESPECIALLY the one next to his younger self doodle...)

idk if uh, this is enough of a reasonable or interesting request but im a really. REALLY. big fan of him, and i like to read anything, and everything about him! but ya know, we might not get the english release for another year (or looking at haikara walker, ever...) soooo i was wonderin if ya have the book and could do it!

my japanese is terrible and by terrible i mean that i can recognize the non-kanji writing but cant really translate it by myself (and we all know how google translate is...) so i have no idea why i got the book- anyway!

thanks in advance if ya do it!! :3

Notes on Cuttlefish, bottom of page 90. the "only a bit old" (ちょいおじ choi oji ) part is not very precise with his age, it seems its supposed to be him around the time of the great turf war. (oji=uncle or just an older man in a broad sense. you can be as young as 30 to be called this, and since he's just a 'little bit' oji, and how he couldn't have been THAT old during the war, i would guess this is him around the age of 30) "divide by polys" was the only thing i wasnt too sure on but i assumed it was advice for whoever was modeling his squid form.

#splatoon translations #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 artbook #capn cuttlefish #craig cuttlefish #asks

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themeeplord · 7 months

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So, last cryptid post you mentioned how ya boys kept growing..

At this point, Meep, just go ahead and make them Monster Hunter elder dragon sized, you know you want to c:

This took way too long and sorry for being so cryptic about it ^^’, but now ya know why I so suddenly gained an interest in MH :>

Might post just the lineart of the design later for an unshrouded look, tho I know some things could be played around with more (proportion wise) to hit home that MH creature feel, but I’m no expert and you’re probably more familiar with that anyway <3 also they’re your boys and the design already lends itself handsomely to the MH-iffication ^^

Also also, a little Bonus doodle ;)

Kinda falling in love with the whole idea as a possible au. A familiar, albeit slightly different hunter and monster/quarry dynamic, ey? But again, your boys, ain’t gonna step on your toes.

Hope you’re having a lovely day! <333

P.S. I’m very sorry to interrupt the Apex Polarity brainrot, I’ll be following soon ^^'

I'm going absolutely INSANE over this!! PIIXEL!!! I'M BITING THIS AND YOU SO HARD RN!!!!

I loooove the Nergigante inspired horns and how every scale, horn and spike are just so much BIGGER! It all comes together so well! Love how you drew their face as well, everything is more defined and their huge bottom canines are just MWAH!

I can't look away from those beautifully drawn HANDS!! LOOK AT THE ONES ON THE GROUND AND ON THE ROCK BEHIND THEM!! THEY'RE SO PERFECT!!!!!

And the lighting?! GOSH!!!!

I also am just in love with the concept of them being an elder dragon! Honestly they could definitely be one. Elder dragons are so diverse and weird looking so one looking like this wouldn't be so strange at all! Also the hunter and monster dynamic here is so intriguing! If you'll let me, I'd like to explore this a little more~

Thank you Piixel! I'm just completely melted over this, I'm just a puddle, I love it so much! AAAAAA!!!!

#Please do not apologize for being cryptic or interrupting apex polarity brainrot #you got nothing to apologize for <3<3<3 #i will go look at this for a loooong time now in my little corner~#piixelpaint #others' art #monster hunter #cryptid sightings #asks

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loupy-mongoose · 3 months

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As tends to happen when I’m in an art funk, I’ve stockpiled a few sketch sheets.

First up, a little Momo love!

These ones are based on a plushie I got for Christmas. I want to reverse engineer its pattern someday, because I ADORE its proportions!

(The bottom right two are just freehands, not based on the plushie.)

And then just some “whatever my hands felt like doing” doodles.

And… a character that I’ve been trying to iron out for a bit now… she’ll be relevant to the story at some point, but I’ve been enjoying drawing her and finally getting a solid idea of what I want her to be.

But since she’s relevant to the future, I’ll put her stuff under a read more, for those who would rather wait until she’s officially introduced.

This character is named Jamie, and is very near and dear to my heart. She’s not only an old OC of mine, but she—with help from a Gardevoir— is basically the one who got me out of a human drawing phobia many years ago. (So you can thank her for me being bold enough to share today, lol.) She started out as a trainer-sona, but quickly became a character all her own, very different from me as a person.

Anyway, first for her, some gesture things and mood drawings.

Some hairdo practice

(I default to making parts either in the middle or on the left, hence the blurb in there, lol.)

And some fun I had with her Crobat, partially inspired by a comment from @penumbramewtwos

(I forgot her scars there, but it kinda works because I feel like this would happen before she got them. X3)

And finally, the part where I really felt like I was getting somewhere with her, aka some clothing testing.

I’ve been wanting to hold off revealing her until she comes into the story, but I really like how these all turned out, and I don’t know when I’ll be ready to move the story along. On top of that, her reveal really wouldn't have any special impact to most of you, since you don't know her. (Aside from a select few.)

So I thought I’d give in and share her with you all. Plus that frees me up to share more doodles of her if I so choose.

I hope you enjoy! ^v^

#Linden Roots #art #doodle dump #babbies #branch

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void-wolfie · 10 months

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you drew stars around my scars

summary: Jenna comforts you on a bad day.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: mentions of self harm, anxiety

words: 560

a/n: a bit short and not my best work, but i've always loved this idea and wanted to write something for it

You hated your appearance. Every time you looked in the mirror, it didn't feel like you were looking at yourself. Ironic for someone working in the acting business.

You thought you hid your insecurities well, burying yourself behind fake confidence and oversized hoodies. No one knew the pain you carried with you, that is, till you met Jenna.

Jenna saw through it all. She could look past the smiles and one-liners and see the tired mess you truly were. She could see the signs that no one else cared to. The constant long sleeves and baggy clothes, the dark circles under your eyes, the way you'd zone out in the middle of conversations or bite at your lip when met with a little too much scrutiny.

Jenna quickly became a source of comfort for you. She was always there, supporting you even when you refused to talk about what was bothering you.

It was the first day of the convention, where you and Jenna, along with a few others, were set to talk on panels and interviews about your upcoming project.

You'd forgotten your meds. You were a mess. Anxiety through the roof. All those self-deprecating thoughts you'd managed to subdue coming back at breakneck speed. How you'd survive the day was beyond you.

Jenna was watching you from the corner of her eye. Your knee was bouncing up and down rapidly, your bottom lip between your teeth as you chewed on it, twisting the pendant of your necklace between your fingers. You were a nervous wreck.

Jenna picked up the spare Sharpie sitting on the table, spinning it between her fingers as she thought of what to do, how she could help. There had to be something...

You were busy distracting yourself with your phone when an earbud came into view. You looked up to see Jenna holding out an airpod to you, the other already set in her ear. You took it, putting it in. She handed you her phone, already opened to Spotify, letting you pick the music.

You picked a song from her playlist, the soft sounds of a Taylor Swift song filling the silence.

"Can I draw on your arm?"

Your head shot up; voice caught in your throat as you tried to think of some answer.

"Sure..." The others weren't around, and you trusted Jenna with your secrets. Besides, you didn't have the heart to say no to her anyways.

You rolled up the sleeve of your jacket, setting your arm on the table. She flipped it over and your heart caught in your throat. You saw her hesitate at the sight of the faint white lines and fresh pink scars that littered your skin, clear evidence of your bad habit. But she didn't say anything. Instead, she uncapped the sharpie and got to work, drawing little stars between all the scars.

Jenna had known about the scars, about your little vice. But she'd never mentioned it and she'd never seen the scars up close before. It hurt her, to know you were hurting yourself. But she couldn't judge you for it, not when you meant so much to her.

When the others finally arrived, none of them said anything about Jenna doodling all over your arm. Nor about the way you sat next to her, head on her shoulder, fast asleep.

#jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #void-wolfie

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autisticaradiamegido · 1 month

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day 84

so backstory im making this cute corset thingie out of scrap fabric i had lying around and it's giving aradia vibes SO i have been considering a lil aradia themed fit for the ren faire this year. problem is i dont have a good handle on how to style it SO. im gonna make smth to go with it. i have 2 potential patterns to use for the bottoms but im not sure what color scheme i wanna go with.

ANYWAY long story short i did some doodles to get a better idea of what all the concepts would look like & compare em. im leaning gray skirt i think atm but i still have time to pick and choose

#day 84 #year 5 #aradia megido #homestuck

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silverhart-makes-art · 7 days

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I think this week's Bestiary Posting is pretty fascinating. I especially like the animal being described as having 'mercy', as I feel like many people would consider that a distinctly human trait. I kind of assumed this idea of animals being like machines incapable of emotions was an old idea, but this and other bestiary entries really seem to humanize the animals listed in them more then I expected.

Anyway, I think what the Zomargon actually is, is pretty obvious, but the bit that stood out to me the most was: "it strikes fear into bulls, yet fears the mouse", and my mind immediately went to my dog. He likes to put on a lot of bluster when confronted with larger dogs or animals, but show him a bug and he runs behind the couch and cries until someone comes to save him.

So, it had to be a poodle. There's no other animal it could possibly be. Lively intelligence, scared of mice, works with people, if one of them falls over they have to gather around and make a big drama about it - that's a poodle for sure.

So this description lists a lot of different traits, so I'm just gonna go down them all and explain my thoughts.

"His nose is called a trunk because he uses it to put food in his mouth."

At first I went with an elephant shrew-type nose, but that's not so great for grabbing, but you know what would be? A hand. And what has a hand on the end of it's nose? That's right, a star-nosed mole. So combination trunk/star nose situation.

"The Persians and Indians, carried in wooden towers on their backs..."

So we know it's a big critter, to able to carry people on it's back.

"...lively intelligence and a long memory..."

Gave them a bit of a big skull to accommodate those big brains. I can also confirm that poodles never forget and hold onto to grudges for years.

"...she goes out into a pool, until the water comes up to her udders."

For sure a mammal this time, so good to know.

"If the Zomargon finds a snake, it kills it..."

This explains why my dog's favorite toys are the ones made to look like snakes and why they are the first to get torn to shreds.

"if it falls down, it cannot rise."

For this I was thinking about how this happens to sheep quite often, when they're pregnant or their wool is too heavy, so I gave my Zomargon a broad back and thick woolly fur that can grow out into a big poof-ball (as I doodled in the bottom).

"...it has no joints in its knees."

This one was tricky to figure out. The knee is a joint, so how can a joint not be a joint? I had to sketch up a couple of legs off to the side just to try out some ideas. Ended up going with the middle one, and just adding a big fleshy pad on the back of the foot to support it, since there's no mention of hooves. It looks weird, but I guess they make it work?

"They possess the quality of mercy."

If a creature possesses mercy, it of course must have soft, gentle eyes, so I tried to give them a sweet dog-like expression. This is a beastie made for cuddling.

"...they make their way carefully and peaceably lest their tusks kill any animal in their way."

Just throwing in tusks in at the last second, huh? I honestly almost forgot to include them, they seem like such an afterthought in the description. And if Zomargons don't fight each other, the tusks must be used for something else. I decided to give them something like a Thylacosmilus fang situation, where these big saber teeth are supported by this crazy lower jaw. Seems to be some debate about whether these teeth were used for scavenging carcasses or killing prey. The Zomargon also eats fruits according to the description, so maybe these tusks are in fact just for opening coconuts.

#maniculum bestiaryposting #Zomargon

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elleloquently · 1 year

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invisible string [7] : ellie williams

part six

| college!ellie x female!reader - after suffering several rewrites, part seven is finally here! a huge thank you to everyone who has been so patient and supportive <3 also, i know it's typical to post the tag list at the top but there were quite a few people so it's at the bottom instead, sorry abt that! this part is a lil different so im kinda nervous hahahaha

| c/w - anxiety

your body carried you down the familiar path to class, but your mind felt absent.

you got there early, habit, but paced around in the cold until the very last minute. you knew ellie would be there, her habit - apparently, sitting and waiting in the seat next to yours and you felt unable to face her.

either you didn't truly know why you felt that way, or you were clinging onto the last dwindling thread of delusion that your mind allowed.

you liked ellie. you really liked ellie. and ellie... 'liked' you... too?

the minutes ticked by quicker than you could gather your thoughts and you made a break for the classroom, your fingers turned red from clutching onto your cold drink so tightly.

you were preoccupied and you had hardly even drank any of it. you frowned at your useless purchase. the ice was melting and the sight looked off-putting, but your stomach was hurting too much anyway to try and make it worthwhile with one last sip.

your idea to throw it away upon entering the classroom was short lived, as the professor was standing in the front of the room and you didn't want to cross the front to throw away your practically full beverage.

it sloshed in the cup and you winced, imagining your own stomach as it twisted.

ellie glanced up as you came around to your seat and the crease on her forehead disappeared immediately as her eyes landed on you. the idea of keeping a secret made you feel dirty, but you weren't sure if you were even actually keeping one.

"was worried you weren't coming or something," ellie muttered, glancing over as you claimed your spot next to her.

you smiled but didn't meet her eyes. the feeling of your heartbeat pounding in your ears was overwhelming.

"are you okay?" ellie asked, her voice a low whisper as she studied your expression.

you tried to focus instead on your notebook and laptop. you didn't want to be rude and you definitely found it difficult to resist ellie when she was staring at you like that, but you needed to clear your head. the idea of clearing your head sounded ridiculous though, and you thought maybe you hadn't had a clear head since the first day that ellie decided to speak to you in class.

ellie tapped her pen on your desk and you jumped, realizing too many seconds had gone by and you still didn't answer her question.

"i'm good. just stressed, i think," you responded, not totally lying but not completely telling the truth, either.

you hoped your answer was enough to hold ellie over at least until class was finished, your professor seemed grumpy lately and you didn't want to subject yourself to an in-class call out.

ellie sighed and sank down in her chair, physically pulling away from you. your heart ached while you watched, suddenly wanting to tell her everything. a frown was etched onto her lips and you wanted to swipe it away.

throughout class, you spent more time watching ellie take notes than taking notes of your own. halfway through it seemed as though ellie gave up too, because she started doodling over her written words. you glanced over often, not trying to be sneaky because you didn't particularly mind if ellie caught you. if she did catch you, she would only grin and carry on anyway.

the ice melted quicker in the warm classroom, the condensation relentless and a small pool was beginning to form around the bottom of your cup. you quickly wiped it away with your sleeve, face burning. the patheticness of the remaining drink was taunting, beads of water slipping and threatened to dampen the corner of your notes.

it felt like a token of your anxiety, the way you couldn't stop it.

ellie had been watching but you didn't notice, until a very pointed "dude" left her mouth. you turned to face her, pausing the action of wiping off the cup with your sleeve over your hand,

"are you done with that?" ellie asked, to which you nodded weakly.

"you don't want it anymore?" she rephrased, wanting to be sure with confirmation.

"i do not want it," you whispered back, setting your eyes on the drink that's caused you too much trouble in such a short amount of time. you glared at it and ellie raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. she reached her arm out, and it took you just a moment to understand what she wanted.

you handed ellie the cup, not really seeing the appeal in the drink anymore but decided there was no harm if ellie wanted it. instead, she surprised you by standing up from her chair, drink in hand. she swiftly and quietly moved to the front of the room, throwing it away and returning to her spot without a word.

oh. problem solved.

the evidence from your moment with dina and jesse, gone.

ellie didn't give it a second thought, but you replayed it in your mind over and over until the lecture was finished.

“so, should we hit the dining hall or do you wanna just go back to my dorm?”

ellie posed the question with such a casual confidence that it caught you off guard, the pen you were putting away nearly slipping through your fingers.

“oh,” you winced, and immediately knew how bad your reaction was.

“oh,” ellie copied with a dry laugh. “it’s okay, we don’t have to do anything.”

“no,” you quickly rushed out, not wanting to make her feel bad but you did have another class. “it’s just, homework.” you tried to explain.

“it’s okay,” ellie repeated, fidgeting with her hands.

“i’m sorry…” you smiled sadly, unsure if you should hold eye contact or keep packing up. ellie looked away, straightening her shoulders as she hoisted up her bag. you copied her action, guilt filling up inside of you.

you felt conflicted but were left with no choice, unable to soothe your guilty conscious.

ellie quickly recovered however, and an easy smile graced her lips as she bid you a goodbye.

“okay, I guess i’ll go back to my room alone,” she complained, giving you a pointed look.

you pushed out a laugh, amused by ellie’s tone but you felt defeated.

"i'd come with you if i could," you said honestly.

ellie dropped her exaggerated expression and met your eyes. "i know," she said.

your heart jumped and you had to leave, before weeks worth of confessions left the tip of your tongue. "text me, okay?" you said, trying really hard to force your voice not to wobble.

"always," ellie replied, raising her hand to wave bye as you finally parted ways.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you didn’t mean to ignore ellie.

with finals only a week away, it wasn't exactly easy to find agreeable times to hang out, no matter how badly you wanted it.

you had felt bad, regretfully declining when ellie asked you to hang out after your shared class. the burden of homework was holding you tightly in its grasp... though you would've had no problem doing homework with ellie.

you did have homework. it was just after your class. the class that ellie had no idea of you having, since you had originally told her that you were free that hour simply because you wanted to have lunch with her. you certainly didn't regret that day, but you felt a little awkward about the idea of finally coming clean now.

so, you told ellie that you had too much homework, and tried to ignore the dejected face that ellie failed to mask at your response.

you hadn't told her about your run in with her friends, either. if dina and jesse wanted ellie to know that you had run into them, they could tell her. you hardly knew them, anyway. the idea of making them a conversation topic felt strange.

that was monday, when you completely blew off ellie except not really because you seriously had a class so you aren't sure why you feel as though you've transformed into a total liar.

you had texted since then, just a little, unable to sense the difference between friendly friend texts and friendly flirty texts.

someone that ellie likes.

someone that ellie likes likes likes someone that ellie likes ellie likes-

you reached for your phone on your bed, forcibly silencing your inner monologue.

hey, are you still free to hang out today?|

you stared blankly down at your screen before rapidly deleting the drafted text, letter by letter.

hey ): i don't think i'm gonna be free to hang out today|

you squinted at the screen until the words looked fuzzy. when you opened your eyes normally again, the text didn't look any more appealing. you huffed and deleted that one too, tossing your phone as far away as you could without dropping it off of the end of your bed.

you had said no to ellie last. she was probably waiting on you to make the next move... how would she feel if you just... didn't?

unless she was totally normal, going about her day and being busy and most definitely not waiting to hear from you.

someone that ellie likes.

yeah, that's... normal. right? right?

you decided that maybe you needed to study a little harder in your psychology class, because you couldn't decipher whether or not it was a logical thing to get caught up on or if you were just going totally crazy. running yourself delusional? likely.

being around ellie and pining after her felt much more appealing when there wasn't a possibility that she could like you back.

you desperately wished to backtrack but yet, there wasn't really much that changed, was there? just one silly little sentence... one that you were probably misinterpreting anyway.

the thought kept you busy on tuesday, though for once you were able to throw yourself into your studies as a distraction instead of being distracted away from your studies. you didn't reach out to ellie, and no new messages came. you didn't hang out that day.

wednesday was your last actual day of class, the last class before finals began.

it quickly dawned on you that it was your last guaranteed time to see ellie. the idea of not being able to sit next to her in class anymore was all that you needed to adjust your priorities for the time being.

you were determined to be in a good mood, determined to make the most of your 'last' but not really last day with ellie.

while getting ready, you were very much aware of the anxiety picking away at your brain, posing you a million questions that you didn't have the answer to. you compensated by carefully picking out an outfit, taking extra time to prepare for the day to make sure you felt as good as possible. all the while, an aggravating dark cloud loomed above you despite your rejection of it. you smoothed down your top in the mirror, ignoring the way that your hands were shaking.

it seems to be a case where every time you are specifically set on having a good day, you end up having one of your worst days.

by the time you left for class, your stomach was hurting. it wasn't a new sensation, the way the uneasiness built up and felt as though it was pricking away at your insides... but it wasn't on par with your idea of a good day.

the wind felt overstimulating and perhaps your last straw was when you were walking behind someone to get into the building, and you know for a fact that they saw you because you made eye contact, but they didn't hold the door open for you and it nearly slammed in your face.

you felt like a laughable character, the way that tears welled up in your eyes as defeat swallowed your previous optimistic determination.

face hot and rapidly blinking, maybe your final final straw was ellie, who was already sat and almost immediately raised her eyes to look as you entered the classroom.

"no melty drink today?" she questioned teasingly, though dropped her tone as concern washed over her once realizing your state.

"what's wrong?" she quickly replaced, leaning into you so her voice could be hushed.

you could've laughed at her question and you nearly did, because sincerely, what was even wrong? you couldn't think of one valid explanation on the spot, and the real reason was enough to bring back the tears that you had desperately wiped away outside of the door.

but it was ellie, so you spoke anyway.

"just wanted to have a good day," you admitted, instantly hating how pathetic your voice sounded.

"and it's not a good day?"

you shook your head, finding yourself wanting to confide in her about everything. you should've hung out with her yesterday.

"wanna come over after class? talk about it? make it better?"

ellie presented the offer so casually, so immediately that it almost made you feel worse. you wanted to say yes.

"i can't," you forced, and ellie's eyebrows knitted together.

"that's okay," ellie said, but it came out a little too quickly.

you didn't want it to be okay. you wanted her to be annoyed or upset that you hadn't been hanging out with her and the worst part was that it seemed like she did feel that way, maybe deep down, but she wasn't openly expressing it whatsoever.

you frowned and it was difficult to find any mental footing with rational thought. you were not entitled to her greater emotions simply because she liked you. as a friend.

"is it okay?" you questioned, a little too sharp and it was embarrassing.

"yes...?" ellie's eyes darted over your face in confusion.

"sorry," you breathed, forcing a reality check. "i just... feel bad."

"don't you always?" ellie retorted, and it wasn't supposed to hurt but it did.

"what?" you were taken aback and ellie focused elsewhere, no longer looking at you.

"nothing. you just... you say you feel bad when we hang out but now you're saying you feel bad if we don't."

her response made you furrow your eyebrows but you really wanted to crawl in-word, not realizing how strongly ellie had picked up on your habit of feeling.

"yeah, 'cause i-" you started, but ellie shook her head.

"it's fine. you don't have to make up an excuse or... really. don't feel bad."

it's not that easy.

ellie smiled but you wished that she didn't because it was obvious that it was forced. the reaction made you wonder if there was something going on with ellie too, or if you were just actually bothering her.

you opened your mouth to speak but your professor initiated the start of class, review questions instantly rolling in. ellie sat hunched over her notebook, which sparked an idea.

you leaned over and began rummaging through your bag until you felt a small pad of paper in your grasp. you stole ellie's pen from her desk and she watched but pretended not to care.

on a blue sticky note, you drew something simple. a little doodle of a planet like you had done before, and a couple of stars. you felt silly and a little bit stupid but you pressed the post it onto ellie's desk, along with her pen.

you could see ellie contemplate whether or not she should show that she noticed it, and you had to press the back of your hand to your mouth so that you didn't release a laugh. you didn't watch her and decided to instead focus on your review, giving ellie 'space' to decide what she wanted to do.

a few minutes ticked away until the little blue square and pen reappeared on your desk. ellie's addition included her own planet, and a few stars mixed in with yours. you felt better, more capable, and raised your eyes to look at her.

ellie didn't have the time to pretend like she wasn't watching you. your lips slipped into a smile that ellie matched, leaving you to feel okay enough to focus on the review without worrying.

at the dismissal of class, you felt strangely sentimental. you packed up quickly so you could leave at the same time as ellie but she was hesitating at her desk, waiting for you.

"can i keep it?" she asked, glancing to the sticky note that you held delicately in your hand. it was sweet and you automatically handed it over, wondering if she was going to put that one on her wall too. you hoped that she would.

"are you going back to your room?" you questioned softly. ellie held the door open for you as you left the classroom.

"yeah," she answered with a heavy sigh.

you had a bit of time before your next class, about an hour to try and turn your situation around.

"ellie?" you started, walking shoulder to shoulder throughout the hallway. she looked at you in concern, eyebrows drawing together in anticipation.

"i wasn't making up excuses. i do feel bad if i can't hang out because... because i do like hanging out, so-"

"it's alright," ellie interrupted, though her voice was softer than before.

you nodded and carefully continued on. "i don't mean to always feel bad, i swear. it just... happens. and then i feel bad for feeling bad and it's just so...ridiculous. do i sound ridiculous?" you conclude with a frustrated laugh.

"maybe a little," ellie contemplated, but you could tell that she was teasing again by the way that she moved her head, as if she's mentally debating with herself. "but i get it. seriously, you're fine. i like hanging out with you too so you don't... have to worry."

she tentatively reassured you and joked instead of outwardly apologizing, and you wondered where she got that from. you're grateful anyway and relieved, but roll your eyes playfully at her sincerity. inward, your stomach is doing flips.

like like like.

that word is being used entirely too much lately.

"i ran into your friends the other day," you mention, hoping that it sounded casually enough. "dina and jesse?"

"oh yeah?" ellie laughs, but her hand fidgets with her sleeve.

"they seem really nice... it's lucky, to have friends like that, you know?"

ellie nodded, smiling knowingly. it felt like a safe topic, so you continued on.

"i didn't know if they mentioned it... i'm sure they were just being polite but they invited me to lunch. it was just nice of them to offer anyway... said it was nice to meet someone that you liked, they're friendly. i just hope i didn't seem completely rude, i was sort of running late so i couldn't talk long but... how long have you guys known each other?"

your cheeks grew warm as you rambled so you stopped yourself, looking to ellie instead. the smile had left her face and she stared straight ahead. she looked pale, a white cast replacing the usual pink warmth on her cheeks.

"i'm sorry," you quickly rushed, not knowing what you were apologizing for.

"don't be," ellie stated, but her words were short.

"did i say something...?"

ellie blinked and faced you. "no, you didn't say anything."

you breathed a sigh of relief, but still didn't want to toe a cautious line. it was too much, too quickly, and you weren't good at making things sound casual like ellie usually seemed to be.

"is that all they said?" ellie questioned, and you quickly nodded.

"yeah. yeah, it was short. i had class. it was on monday morning," you clarify.

"oh," ellie realized, as if she had managed to find a missing puzzle piece. "did they say something?" she rephrased, coughing out a laugh.

"it was super quick," you reiterated, but your heart was racing.

"okay. i just thought maybe... you seemed weird on monday. maybe they said something stupid," ellie said, but you could tell she was still thinking it over. maybe that was your sign, really the only clue you needed after all. ellie actually looked stressed though, and you wished that you hadn't brought it up at all.

"weird?" you tried to sound surprised, but you knew exactly what she was referring to and why you had been that way. "not weird... just stressed. i have so much to do, i know you do too," you tried, attempting to smooth over the awkwardness.

"was it because i just assumed we were going to hang out?" ellie mumbled, sounding accusatory yet upset with only herself.

"ellie, no." your palms were beginning to feel too warm but you wrapped them into your sleeves anyway. "i like hanging out with you."

like like like!

you continued, grasping for straws and desperately wishing that dina had never called your name. "i've sorta been spending more time with you than my homework," you laughed carefully. "i like it, don't get me wrong. i just had... you know, school."

ellie nodded but she wasn't listening, not really.

“i didn’t mean to freak you out,” ellie said, her tone slightly defensive.

your jaw dropped in surprise and you felt as though your head was spinning. "what?" you asked, genuinely confused. you weren't sure exactly what illiciated the response, either you actually blindly said something stupid or you were blindly unaware of ellie's feelings.

the conversation was going nowhere, quickly. you were speaking but not listening, both absorbed in your own feelings to the point of ignorance.

"ellie, we're fine," and despite the circumstance you selfishly loved the excuse to let her name roll off of your tongue. you halted to a stop as the hallway came to an end, not truly ready to part ways.

ellie stood still for a moment and you wondered if she was gathering her thoughts until she finally spoke again. "of course we're fine," she concluded. she didn't meet your eyes and you deflated for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"hey," you started again, another failed attempt to fix the conversation.

"it's okay," ellie breezed past you. "i know you're busy, i'll see you later, alright?"

she didn't give you a second to respond before she was out of the doors and out of the building. you were left standing there, mouth agape and head reeling.

there was too much to confuse, too much to get wrong and you found it difficult to differentiate a good start from a bad end.

you wouldn't get to just see her next class, and it felt like your last opportunity had truly been your last opportunity.

you went to your next class but you weren't really present, not with ellie on your mind and every wrong step that had been taken. it hadn't even been a full confession and it went wrong. maybe you had gotten it all wrong, or maybe you were both dancing around your own feelings, destined to screw it all up.

[ part eight ]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams college au #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie tlou x female reader

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asavt · 1 year

Text

I am currently in a state were my brain is not working properly, I am not sure how to get out of this state but my heart is asking me to draw knights, so I'll do just that

Anyways-- It's been some time since I actually drew Meta and Dark Meta!! (In color, I have drawn Meta recently, I just almost never paint those doodles or show them). I actually wanted to kind of redesign the old humanization design I had, I like these better.

And some context on the little two panels at the bottom: I picture this during KSA?? Like, the potencial that there is with Dark Meta being there during the fight... also the phrase "I refuse to be the reflection of someone who is easily controled by some mere weak force" came to me like... right after I started playing KSA some years back so I've had this idea in my head for a long time! I finally let it out!

#Kirby #Meta Knight #Dark Meta Knight #kirby star allies #ksa #fan art #digital art #kirby fanart #I kind of wish to talk a bit more about my timeline with Meta now #maybe next time #asadraws

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