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notchesandbullets · 3 years

Text

The Gentle Giant's Breaking Point (Shoji x Reader)

Art credit: @tonerukun

Requested by: @/smol_angry_rabbit on wattpad

Aged-Up!AU

Warnings: explicit smut, size kink, dirty talk, hickeys, cursing, being overpowered and completely dominated, unprotected sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, tender aftercare and soft confession

Words: 6.4k

In downtown Musutafu, Shoji, Tokoyami and Ojiro were wandering around the city packed with people on a bright, sunny day. A gentle breeze blew by, swirling around the hundreds of people who decided to get some fresh air for the first time in weeks.

The second the weather warmed up, food stalls and all sorts of vendors were back on the streets. Mouthwatering scents of sesame soba, senbei and taiyaki curled deliciously into the air and wafted over to everyone within the vicinity, enticing them over to buy the scrumptious street food.

At the first sight of spring, the students of UA scattered, all eager to spend their off day outside.

Kaminari, Bakugou, Kirishima and Ashido all went to the pool, the rest of Class 1-A following in a slow trickle.

It first was Hagakure who wanted to tag along, then Uraraka, then reluctantly Jirou followed by the rest of the girls.

Midoriya sheepishly asked if he could come along too, Todoroki following suit since he'd rather be anywhere than at an empty dorm and end up having to go home to his father.

Mineta was only allowed to come with Sero's tape restricting his hands and covering his eyes. He complained the whole way there that it was unfair but no one paid any attention to him.

Shoji let his arms fall to his sides as he strolled around downtown, following Tokoyami.

He hadn't particularly wanted to go anywhere, preferring to stay in the dorms. He didn't know when was the last time where it had actually been quiet. Not since before they moved in.

He didn't really have any complaints about his classmates. If anything, he was rather happy to live in a dormitory. It meant he got to see a lot more of you.

You were best friends with him, preferring to keep to yourself most of the time, just like him.

Maybe that's why you got along so well.

Shoji never tried to bother you but it was inevitable when the last class of the day would be dismissed and everyone paired off or huddled up in their groups to talk about anything and everything. He would just be at his desk, pulling out a book or getting started on his homework so he didn't have to worry about it later and you would come over, plop yourself down in the empty desk next to him and start reading a book without a word.

He didn't mind. He rather liked your company. It was quiet. It was nice.

He was going to ask you if you wanted to come with him, Tokoyami and Ojiro today but you were gone when he woke up. At least he had your number and he messaged you to make sure you were okay.

You responded back pretty quickly that everything was fine, you just had to take care of something first and then you'd meet them at the beach.

Shoji thought nothing of it. So when Ojiro asked if he wanted to come along with them downtown because Tokoyami needed to pick up more art supplies before their next class, he readily agreed.

He honestly didn't expect to see you there, let alone run into you. Literally.

You panted, rounding the corner, your eyes round with fear as adrenaline pumped through your veins. But you weren't watching where you were going.

Crashing into someone's very solid chest, your force knocked them over, sending the two of you toppling over instantly.

Springing up, you quickly apologized. "I'm so sorry!!"

All else blanked from your head as you saw who it was you exactly landed on and your jaw dropped open.

"Shoji?!"

Suppressing a groan, he sat up, encircling your waist carefully to ensure you wouldn't fall.

His brow furrowed in confusion as he helped the two of you up into a standing position, completely ignoring Ojiro and Tokoyami's questioning stares. "What are you doing?"

You opened your mouth to answer him when all of the sudden, you were hit by a blinding light.

Various enraged cries echoed from the alley you had just rushed out of.

"Get back here!!!"

"Shoot." You muttered under your breath. "My paralysis wore off."

"You're using your quirk?!" Ojiro exclaimed in shock. "You know that's against the rules!!!"

You ushered everybody into the nearest store hastily, hiding behind All Might merchandise to keep out of sight. "You want to lecture me now or after we call the police?"

While Tokoyami dialed for the local police, Shoji shifted closer to you, using his dupli-arms to hide you from view.

"Who are they?" He asked you.

He knew you weren't the type to go around causing trouble. If you had used your quirk, it had to be because you were cornered with no way out. He knew you.

And judging by that foreign, hesitant look in your eyes, you knew it, too.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." You mumbled under your breath, refusing to look at him.

Shoji didn't say anything else on the matter, dropping it entirely when a shadow passed over him.

You squeezed your eyes shut and held your breath as the men searched for you, your breath hitching when Shoji's grip around you tightened protectively. Too many times you had imagined his arms around you but this was a scenario you didn't exactly picture.

The sirens wailing outside had you relaxing the tiniest bit, the rest of the tension leaving your body as the police arrested the three men using their quirks to create destruction.

Shoji didn't let you go quite yet though. Not until he was sure every last one of them left.

Pulling back, he allowed you to slip out of his arms. And that's when he saw it.

The blood.

The cut on your cheek was smeared with crimson and he questioned how he didn't notice that sooner.

Cradling your cheek, he angled your face, his jaw ticking as he got a better look at your injury.

"Y/N."

You gulped as he used your first name without any honorific. You knew he meant business and your heart fluttered at how much he seemed to care for you in that moment.

You shoved down your feelings, forcing yourself to breathe normally, dreading that he would notice how nervous you were.

It wasn't that you really had anything to be anxious about, you knew Shoji would never judge you for any reason. Kind-hearted despite how often he had gotten teased when he was younger, he never let it affect him in any way other than pushing him towards his best self.

You always admired that about it.

Shoji was such a gentle giant and you were one of the few he told about his past and what ultimately led him to striving to become a hero.

Which is why you were so caught off guard by the anger simmering beneath the surface of his eyes as he tended to the abrasion on your cheek.

The officers contained the situation quickly, arresting those that were causing chaos. The same gang of boys who were responsible for your injuries. Tokoyami and Ojiro filed out of your makeshift hiding place first, reporting what you had seen before Shoji helped you up and they turned your attention to you.

All three of their expressions changed from quelled worry to disbelief as you denied all allegations they had clearly made against you.

Still, the police officers couldn't go against it if you didn't even admit to it but brought the boys down to the station for processing. They would be able to fit the pieces together later once the camera footage of the convenience store was recovered. Until then, they let you go.

After you refused medical treatment when the police arrived on the scene, absolutely hating hospitals, you trekked back to the dormitory to sort out your injuries.

They were rather mild and you weren't worried about it at all. The hero-in-training hovering over you though, said otherwise.

You sat on one of the many couches in the common area of Heights Alliance so that he could patch you up. It was a good thing that the dorms were empty since everyone was gone for the rare off day that they got.

Shoji had ushered Ojiro and Tokoyami to go on without him to meet up with the rest of their class at the beach, promising that he would look after you and make sure that you didn't actually need a hospital.

But you also thought it was to make sure you weren't going to do anything reckless again.

He had already scolded you for not taking your wounds seriously enough and insisted on treating them, which was a bit weird because he never was one for insisting on anything unless he felt strongly enough about it.

The atmosphere was tense as he put away the rest of the medical supplies, settling for a simple butterfly closure after he cleaned the area.

Now, he was staring at you as if he wanted to devour you. Heat flooded to your lower regions no matter how hard you tried to stop it. It was clear that he was frustrated, borderline angry and upset with you for reasons unclear to you but hope kindled in your heart.

There was no way he liked you like that. He never said anything about it before.

Regardless, no one should look that good while they were enraged. The silent fury simmering beneath the surface of his being was too good of a look on him.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" Shoji questioned, peeling off his mask and revealed a deep-seated frown etched on his face.

Your breath caught in your throat. No matter how many times you saw his face, it never failed to take your breath away and stop time completely.

He was beautiful.

"I-I—" You stammered, at a loss for words due to his vulnerability in front of you. He clearly trusted you a great deal. You wanted to return the gesture.

Your heart rate spiked in nervousness and you swallowed hard.

Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, your voice got quieter and more solemn as you told him about these people who had been bullying your little brother. Your parents weren't in the picture, and since your aunt, who had taken the two of you in, didn't care much other than making sure you were fed and attending school, you knew you couldn't depend on her for help.

You had been bullied too, something you told your brother the second you walked in one weekend and he burst into tears. You felt horrible. At UA, you were too far away to protect him, but you promised you'd do something about it.

Logically, you knew you should've gone to the authorities. But you were just so blinded by rage and hell bent on revenge for these boys who had struck him across the face and punched him in the eye more than once that you weren't going to let it go on for a second longer.

Shoji was silent when you finished. You played with your fingers in your lap, unsure of what to do. Maybe you talked too much.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Your head snapped up and you gaped. You didn't have an answer for him.

Shoji sighed and his eyes saddened. "You can rely on me, on our friends. We would have helped you."

You looked back down, his gaze too intense for you to hold. He was staring at you too earnestly and you felt the hurt that resonated within him at the actions you didn't take to reach out towards him.

"I know." You whispered. "But I didn't want any of you to get involved."

A discontented noise emitted from the back of his throat and Shoji's mouth pressed in a hard line, clearly disagreeing with you but not voicing it.

The silence turned uncomfortable and you shifted in place, discreetly rubbing your thighs together as a shiver passed through your body.

Your eyes widened as he draped his shawl over you. You gulped as Shoji bulking form loomed over you, your heart now beating faster for another reason entirely.

"S-Shoji?!"

"Mezo..." He murmured. "We're alone. You can call me Mezo."

This wasn't anything new, you had already been comfortable enough to call him by his given name when the two of you were on your own but this was the first time he had requested you to say it before you got a chance to speak it.

He beat you to the punch. How unlike him.

You blushed, arching your back into his touch as he gripped your waist and drew you close to him to warm you up, heat flooding to your lower regions without permission at his low voice. "Mezo."

He groaned, his head falling into the crook of your neck at how intimate his name sounded when it fell from your lips. Physical affection wasn't rare between you two, but it largely remained platonic.

Until now. He couldn't suppress it any longer.

Capturing your lips in a heated kiss, he moved over you, unable to stop himself from pinning you to the couch.

"Ahh~" You moaned as he detached himself from your lips, keening as he continued down, pushing his jacket out of the way for better access to your neck. You weren't against this, but it was going too fast. You wanted him to slow down so that you could at least see him. "M-Mezo, w-wait..."

Stifling a groan, he reluctantly parted from your skin, catching your gaze.

Worried he had made you uncomfortable, he questioned, "Do you not want this?"

After you shook your head so violently that he was surprised you didn't knock into anything, he raised an eyebrow when you didn't express anything else.

"Then what's wrong?" Shoji asked lowly, voice gravelly and giving away just how much of an effect you had on him.

You bit your lip shyly at how you probably looked. Spread out for him, flushed to the core and panting. Your mind was racing. He had kissed you.

"S-Someone could walk in," You objected, stammering as you were only half aware that you guys were in the common area. "Don't you think we should— holy shit!!"

While you were protesting, he took the opportunity to latch onto the sweet spot under your neck, sucking harshly.

You couldn't help but whimper, your hands splayed against his broad chest as he continued to paint your skin with splotches of purple and pink.

"Mezo, come on, we should— eep!!"

Fed up with your objections as it hindered his passionate onslaught to your supple skin, Shoji hooked your legs around his waist, his huge hands cupping your ass as he practically sprinted to his room.

This time, your lips descended onto his, connecting the two of you together all the way there. You rocked against his hard-on pressed in between your bodies, moaning into his mouth as your core throbbed with need.

A growl ripped from the back of his throat as you did, and he leaned down to lay you on his bed, never separating himself from you for a second.

Cupping his face with both of your hands, you parted your lips, letting him explore your hot cavern. He slotted his body between your hips.

The two of you groaned in tandem as one of your hands slithered down to cup the stiff bulge and you whimpered when he pressed his knee against your clothed core. The pressure made slick pool in your panties and caused it to stick uncomfortably to your wet folds.

"Y/N..." He breathed shakily, his eyes clouded, giving away how much you affected him. "Can I—"

"Yes, please." You cut him off, unable to wait a second longer. "Please, Mezo, fuck me?"

Shoji's eyes widened and his cock got impossibly harder, straining against the confinements of his pants as he heard you beg for him. Beg for his cock to fill you up.

Fuck, that was so hot.

Your core was already throbbing with the need to have him inside of you. If he didn't do something soon you were sure you were going to combust.

Seeing his hesitancy as his fingers danced along the waistband of your pants, you quickly got tired of waiting and undressed by yourself, throwing your clothes in an uncaring heap onto the floor.

His eyes grew round in awe as your bare skin, breasts and that special place between your legs was revealed for him to freely drink in as you laid out before him, not an ounce of shame coloring your cheeks, save for the pink tips of your ears.

Cute.

Your back arched as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples, his big hands kneading the soft flesh, going harder when your response spurred him on. You whined as he flicked the pebbled tit, crying out as he bit down on it gently, a shock shooting through your system.

Shoji was studying every single one of your reactions to his touch, drinking it up as his eyes devoured you with barely restrained hunger.

"So... you like to be treated roughly..." He mused as he pulled upwards, your body following his touch as he let go of your breasts abruptly. "That's very interesting."

You whimpered in protest but that faded as he took his shirt off, the defined and sculpted muscle enough to make you forget what you were about to complain about. He was ripped, his torso flexing powerfully as he threw his shirt in the direction of the growing pile of clothes.

Licking your lips, you pulled him down to his level as he hastily undid the button of his pants, shoving it just past his hips so that his cock sprang free.

Your jaw dropped. He wasn't wearing underwear?!

Aside from that, he was fucking huge. How was even going to fit inside of you?!

You weren't given any time to dwell on his size as a finger probed your entrance. Your hands shot down to his wrist instinctively.

"M-Mezo, I'm s-sensitive—!!"

You cut off with a cry as he slipped it in, stretching you out.

Shoji closed his eyes, trying to restrain himself but you were just so hot and tight, pulsing around his finger like nothing else he ever felt.

"Is it too much?" He asked caringly, kissing you to ease you through it. You were unbelievable tight, he could already feel you clenching down on his single digit. "Do you want to stop?"

If your mind wasn't clouded with lust, you would've picked up on the subtle teasing lilt of his voice, as though he already knew what you were going to say.

"No..." You protested, squeezing your eyes shut, unknowingly doing exactly what he expected.

You could take it. You wanted him to make you take it.

Your eyes widened as he cursed behind you and that was when you realized that you said that last part out loud.

Oops. You were really in for it now.

You gasped in surprise as his hands released your wrists, but it was only temporary as he hooked your legs around his waist before he was immobilizing you again. Struggling slightly even though you were clearly overpowered, you begged for him to let you touch him before you died but he refused, shutting you up with a passionate kiss that stole your breath away.

Your body lurched and you wailed as he finally sank into your cunt, moaning and panting like a dog in heat as he sheathed his massive member all the way inside of your spasming channel.

A broken whimper of his name fell from your lips as his hips finally pressed flush against your ass, mewling as his balls rested against your puckered hole. You buried your face into his neck, ashamed of your reaction. He had barely done anything yet and already you felt like you were on the brink of cumming.

"Mezo—" You warned breathlessly, mouth gaping at the sheer size of him, your hole struggling to adjust. "Ngh!!"

Shoji braced himself up on his forearms, swearing under his breath as you clamped down around him. His fingers laced with yours from where he was still pinning your arms over your head, bending down to kiss you in order to distract you from the stretch.

You were hot, tight, and squeezing him with so much force, he already felt like he was going to cum. Stuttering out your name, he hissed as you clenched around him again.

"Y-Y/N, stop— don't do that." He begged, one of his hands fisting in your hair as he held onto his last thread of restraint while you adjusted to his size.

"C-Can't help it, Mezo." You whimpered, scratching his broad back as you fought the urge to arch your hips, knowing that was just going to encourage him to move before you were ready. "You... You're so big."

He had never prided himself on things like this, by how much he received praise or compliments from others so that he didn't have to question the authenticity of it, preferring most times to simply acknowledge it then let it go so that it didn't go to his head.

But he couldn't help it with you. There was something about the way you said it that ignited a flame of passion inside of him and it could not be put out.

Your nails dug into his back and a moan ripped from your throat as you felt him swell inside of you, catching on your walls without even trying.

"M-Mezo?!" You cried out in shock. "Why are you getting, oh fuck—"

A guttural groan sounded in the empty space and he let go of you, straightening up.

"You're so tight and warm." Shoji moaned, his left hand fisting the sheets as he gave a few experimental rolls of his hips, the other caressing your hip while his eyes fixated on where the two of you were joined together. "You feel like heaven, Y/N."

You squeaked in mortification as he said that, clapping a hand over your mouth as he thrusted into you harder, unable to contain the sounds spilling out of your mouth any longer. He felt so good inside of you. Pulsing and hot, thick and hard, it was a wonder how you were delirious with pleasure on his cock.

"Fuck..." You hissed through clenched teeth, your eyes tightly screwed shut.

Shoji stilled instantly, worried he had hurt you. His eyes scanned over your flushed face in concern.

"Are you alright? Do you want to stop?" He asked quickly and would've pulled out of you if your legs didn't lock around his hips, preventing him from even thinking about it a second longer.

You desperately shook your head then yanked him down to your level.

"Go fast, Mezo, fuck me hard." You pleaded. "Please."

There was no time to feel embarrassed by the words that came out of your mouth as he obliged instantly. Stars blinded your vision and you arched into his touch as he fucked you with a vigor that wasn't present before.

Shoji slammed your wrists down above your head and he kissed you hard, all of it teeth and tongue as he licked away your whimpers before they could break the symphony of wet skin slapping against skin that broke through the still atmosphere of his room.

Both of you were glad everyone was gone for the day because with how much noise you were making, it was clear what was going on.

His lips glossed over your pulse point, licking and sucking at the flushed skin there, marking you once again.

You shivered at the sensation of having him pressed against you and yet still attending to you with the same care you had come to expect from him. Your best friend now turned lover. If this was going to be more than a one-time deal.

"Mezo!!" You cried out as he finally pulled away from your neck, satisfied with the purple that bloomed there.

Shoji's teeth sank into your shoulder as he came deep inside of you, painting your walls with hot, thick and sticky ropes of cum.

You whimpered as he emptied in your ripe cunt, his release setting off yours and the powerful shockwaves of your orgasm crashed over you like a tsunami, causing your body to tremble uncontrollably. The copious amounts of his cum leaked out the instant he pulled out of you and your hole fluttered, no longer having his length to stuff you to the brim. You felt a bit sad now that you were left empty, and sat up, thinking that you guys were done.

How wrong you were.

You didn't have to look down to see that he was still hard as his cock pressed against your inner thigh the moment he kissed you again.

"Mezo?!" You shrieked, moaning wantonly against his lips as he moved over you once more. "How are you still hard?!"

He groaned, obviously in discomfort for having been denied even though he just came. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I need to cum again to make it go down."

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips at the sight of the leaking head and you moved to try and suck him off, wanting nothing more than the taste of him on your tongue as he shot his last load inside your mouth but he shook his head and stopped you short.

"You don't have to do that." Shoji said quickly, his cheeks flushing pink as he imagined you with your ass up as your cheeks were stuffed with his cock. Fuck, you'd look so good like that. But he had something else in mind.

Your eyes had glazed over a long time ago from the pleasure that he delivered to your system.

"I want to." You implored, batting your eyes at him, pupils blown wide.

Shoji surged forward, kissing you harder than last time and you melted into his touch. Any other time, he wouldn't fight you on it. But he didn't want to make you work any harder, even if it looked like you really wanted to suck him off. For now, he was content just to see you like this.

Spread out in front of him for only his eyes to see.

"Can you lay like this, Y/N?" He asked, gently maneuvering you onto your tummy and perking your rear up as a hand trailed down your spine to get you into the position he wanted to see you in. "I'll finish quickly."

You moaned quietly, still turned on and horny from before. Even though he had satisfied you so completely, there was a part of you that still longed to have him again.

You wanted him to stuff his cock in you like this.

So you couldn't help but mess with him a bit as the slick sounds of him jerking himself off started and breathy moans fell from his lips. You could go another round for him.

Poking out your ass a bit more, you smiled to yourself as his breath hitched and his movements stuttered. Swaying it from side to side purposefully to entice him, you were shocked when it worked a little too well, bringing out the beast in the tame boy that was your best friend.

Your eyes shot open and your jaw dropped open in a soundless cry as he pushed into you without warning, sinking his fat cock balls-deep into your pussy still quivering with the aftershocks of your last orgasm.

"Mezo!! Ahhh—" You cried out, caught off guard but unbelievably turned on so much that it filled you with shame.

A messy mixture of your juices and his thick cum pushed out of you as he rammed into you all the way to the hilt and all the oxygen disappeared from your lungs.

The sloppy sounds of your cunt making as he fucked you into his bed had you gripping onto his pillow and slamming it against your face to curb all the noises that were tearing from your throat.

It was yanked out of your grasp a second later.

"Don't hide, let me hear you." Shoji begged, unable to help himself from shoving his cock into the deepest parts of your little cunny. You looked so pretty spread out underneath him like this, at his mercy entirely as he pinned you down. Your arousal ran down your thighs as he continued to fuck you, his fat cock stuffing your hole perfectly.

Like you were made for him.

He threw his head back, he redoubled his efforts to make you feel as good as your pussy was making him feel.

"You look so beautiful when you're taking my cock like this." Shoji whispered to himself in awe, disbelieving that his dream was finally coming true after all this time as he watched his length disappear into you over and over again, completely entranced. "Feels so good, hhgh—!!"

Your hole fluttered around his thick girth, struggling to take his size as he pumped in and out of you at an alarming speed.

Whining, you could do nothing else but take it as he pounded you raw and rough, his hips slapping into your ass with a vigor that blanked your mind and left you gasping at the sensation.

Your wrists, still pinned down by his hands as his duplicated gripped your hips for stability as he got you closer to that peak, strained against his strength as the pressure built up in your stomach. "Mezo...'m gonna... gonna—"

"Gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Cream your cunny on my cock?" Shoji murmured, reducing his thrusts to sharp ruts, focusing all his attention on that little spot that made you see stars. "C'mon, give me one more. I need it."

That did it.

Your orgasm washed over you and your eyes rolled into the back of your head, your body trembling violently as he continued to push your limits, pumping in and out of you erratically before emptying himself into you with a deep groan.

Face flushed and eyes glassy, stilling rolling back from the throws of the intensity of your orgasm, you panted, twisting back to meet him in a kiss much softer and more loving than all the previous ones.

Now that his pent up frustration had been dealt with in the best possible way, he pulled out of you with a soft grunt, kissing you wordlessly when you whined at the loss of him.

Shoji hushed you softly as he cleaned the mess dripping out of you with a warm washcloth, urging you to go to the bathroom.

You couldn't stand up though, lacking the strength after that very thorough dicking down he gave you. Legs like jelly, you would've collapsed to the floor if he didn't catch you in time, pulling you up to his chest to carry you the rest of the way.

You hid your face in the crook of his neck as he took care of you, seeing as how all your energy was depleted. Slapping his chest halfheartedly in embarrassment as he chuckled when you jolted as he cleaned the sore but achingly sensitive bud between your legs.

Shoji nudged your ear with his nose, murmuring softly. "Are you alright?"

You hummed, eyelids heavy as you started to drift off.

He kissed the top of your head before bringing you back to bed so that you could take a nap. Somewhere between the walk from his bathroom to his bed, you stirred, arising from your light slumber only to be met with a concerned expression.

"Calm down, Mezo," You giggled, pecking him on the lips softly. "I'm good."

His shoulders slumped in relief. He was kind of worried he had broken you after a session like that. Scratching the back of his neck once you laid down, he hesitated before speaking.

"Don't worry me like that again. You're too reckless for your own good." He told you, anxiety resting heavy on his features.

You wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively. "I don't know... That was a pretty good punishment if you ask me."

Shoji rolled his eyes but a hint of a smile played upon his lips. "I'm serious, Y/N."

Your smile disappeared and you nodded solemnly, sheepish now that you had been chastised.

"I know, I'm sorry." You apologized quietly, remorseful. You hadn't meant to worry him or any of them really. You honestly thought that you could handle it.

You had fought villains before, you thought you could tame a few punk kids who were bullying your little brother. You almost felt ashamed that they had managed to best you.

The initial idea was to capture them and report them to the authorities, since they were a part of a crew who liked to rob stores for fun, but the tables turned on you when they freely used their quirks on you.

Luckily, you had been able to dodge most of them, only sustaining minor damage from an attack you hadn't avoided in time.

Shoji knelt down by the bedside and your brow furrowed when he didn't climb under the covers with you.

"Mezo?" You squeaked when he engulfed you in a hug, all your insecurities melting away as his warmth flooded you.

He trembled as you said his name but otherwise didn't move. Instead, he mumbled something against your neck and you laughed.

"I can't quite hear you." You teased him, prying him away to get a good look at his eyes. They were swirling with an unknown emotion and you swallowed hard. "What's wrong?"

Shoji stared at you, his gaze boring into your soul as he took down all your walls you had built up around your heart to protect yourself with an ease that shocked you.

"Rely on me." He murmured, lacing his fingers with yours and gulping at how small your hands were compared to his. "I want you to rely on me like..."

You couldn't breathe. It sounded like...

"Like what?" You prompted breathlessly, not daring to hope that he was going to say what you so longed to hear from him.

His cheeks pinked and he turned away from you. "Nothing."

Your heart sank into your chest and you visibly deflated.

"Oh..." You said softly, expression saddening when he refused to look at you.

Gathering the sheets around you to cover your naked body, you suppressed a shiver as the cold air got through and you blindly reached around for your clothes on the floor.

Shoji's mouth pressed in a hard line and he shook his head. Any other time, he would be there to help you but not now. Not when his mind was racing with the possibilities of what could go wrong if he confessed his true feelings for you right here and now.

It was overwhelming him and he felt overtaken by fear that you would reject him, destroying the close friendship you had.

But...

"Y/N."

You straightened up, fumbling with the sheet as it accidentally slipped. But you blushed when Shoji draped his shawl over you, his scent filling your nose and you tripped over your words, thoroughly flustered for some kind of explanation as to why you were reacting like you were back in your first year of high school.

"I like you."

You balked, jaw dropping open in shock.

Shoji actually jumped back, startled as you swore in front of him.

"You're kidding."

His brow furrowed in confusion and he crossed his arms. "No, I'm perfectly serious."

You shook your head. There was no way that he, the coolest, most respectable and kindest guy you have ever met and had the privilege of calling your best friend, liked you back.

But judging by that affronted look on his face, you might've jumped to conclusions too soon.

Warily, you approached him, abandoning the search for your clothes.

You hastily apologized. "I'm sorry, I guess it's hard to believe how someone like you would be interested in me."

Now in front of him, you had a chance to see how much he towered over you. It was different from when you would hang out in each other's rooms where he would crouch down on the floor or sit on a chair so that the height difference wasn't so obvious.

But you felt safe as he curled his arms around you tentatively, even though it was such a contrast to how he was fucking the brains out of you earlier.

"Well, I do." Shoji murmured into your hair as he brought you in for a hug, firm and unyielding in his feelings for you even though you had yet to say anything.

You hadn't said it back but you hadn't shot him down either. He didn't know if it was foolish to hope for a chance that you would want to be with him too, or perhaps, oh no, had he made you uncomfortable?

Maybe you weren't saying anything because you didn't know how to reject—

"I like you too." You mumbled into his chest.

This time, Shoji was the one to do a double take. "Y/N?!"

"Oh hush." You said, hiding your face from his frantic gaze so that he couldn't see how red your face was. Confessing feelings was exhausting and now you wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with your new boyfriend.

Shoji's chest rumbled underneath your fingertips and just when you thought your face couldn't burn anymore out of embarrassment and shyness, he leaned back and tipped your chin up.

"I'm glad you return my feelings." He smiled, a pure smile that radiated the most wholesome level of happiness possible and your heart skipped a beat.

You found you mirrored his joy instinctively, it was contagious. And when he closed the distance to kiss you once more, it sealed a pact that would stay forever and could never be broken.

"I think I'll have to be more reckless from now on." You breathed when he finally pulled away and a small pout formed on his lips.

"Y/N..." Shoji warned, not finding your joke funny in the slightest.

You giggled, looping your arms around his neck as you stood on your tiptoes, booping his nose with yours. "I'm kidding, but I do think it was worth it."

He raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

You grinned, a cheeky smile that told him he hadn't seen the last of your mischief.

"Because it finally got you to confess."

Taglist: @katsukis-sad-angel

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fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years

Text

Teach Me, Tease Me [Spencer Reid x fem! Reader]

A/N - this is for my Training Square on my CM Bingo Card for @cmbingo at least it is if you squint hard enough. CM Bingo Masterlist can be found here.

Really had an itch that needed to be scratched here in the form of Professor Spencer and a TA in training the reader. Just utter, utter filth. AKA - You are nervous enough for your first day of teaching training, and when you meet your new mentor, the incredibly attractive Doctor Reid, it only makes the situation more tense.

Masterlist for all fics can be found here.

CW - Age gap (Spencer’s late 30’s and reader is early/mid 20’s) dom! Spencer/ sub! Reader, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving), female/male masturbation (mildly) some degradation, swearing.

WC: 3.5K

Smoothing down your skirt and taking a few deep breaths in the hopes to calm your rattled nerves, you knocked on the door.

Dr Spencer Reid’s reputation preceded him. Not only was he supposed to be an incredible lecturer in criminal psychology but he had fifteen years on the job experience with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. To learn from such a legend in his field was a dream come true to you.

Getting accepted in a TA role at Georgetown had been an incredible achievement in itself but to be Spencer Reid’s TA, to be trained by this great man left you a bag of nerves.

Your hands were shaking as you smoothed down your skirt again. You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and then quickly untucked it again just as the door opened.

You were met with a pair of intense hazel eyes. They belonged to a tall, slim man with messy hair as though he’d just gotten out of bed and the most sinful pair of lips you had ever laid eyes on.

You swallowed, trying to push down your attraction.

“Uhm...I’m sorry I just have the wrong office. I’m looking for Dr Reid.” You went to turn to leave because this man was far too attractive and you would no doubt end up making a fool of yourself but his voice caught you.

“You’re in the right place. I’m Dr Reid.”

You tried to stop your jaw from hitting the floor. You had pictured Dr Reid to be a man much older than the one in front of you, either greying or balding and on the heavier side.

The Dr Reid in front of you was drop dead gorgeous. This had to be some kind of joke? How were you possibly supposed to learn when you were just getting lost in his eyes?

“You’re...you…” you stuttered, not being able to form words.

He laughed and it was such a magnificent sound you wanted to hear it every day for the rest of your life.

“You must be Y/N? My new TA?” His smile made your knees buckle and you hoped he didn't notice.

His eyes glanced up and down your body and butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Your skirt suddenly felt too short and your shirt too tight.

“Mmm hmm.” You mumbled, worrying if you spoke your voice would come out a high pitched squeak.

He chuckled again and stepped back, creating a space for you to enter.

“Please come in.” He motioned for you to step inside his office. You slowly stepped inside, your legs shaking.

This was the first step towards your dream job of lecturing at Georgetown and it was terrifying enough without your new mentor being the most attractive man you’d ever seen.

“Take a seat.” Spencer smiled at you as he stepped behind his desk, taking his own seat.

You chewed your lip as you made your way to the chair. His eyes never left you. You felt his eyes dance over your bare legs and up your thighs. Your palms were sweating under his intense gaze.

You were thankful to sit down as you couldn’t be confident in your legs ability to hold you up right.

“I’m very pleased to be here Dr Reid.” You croaked, feeling like you needed to say something, anything.

Spencer leant his elbows on the desk, smiling across at you.

“Please, call me Spencer.”

“O-ok.”

“Are you ok?” He raised an eyebrow at you. “You seem...nervous.”

You were more than nervous. You were turned on. The way he was looking at you and the way he periodically licked his bottom lip was driving you crazy.

“This is a big...opportunity for me.” Your words were punctuated with deep breaths and you knew Spencer noticed it.

“As long as you're sure that’s all?”

“Yes, it is.” You lied.

“Ok good.” He smirked at you. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. He wasn’t a big headed man, but he knew attraction when he saw it.

He saw the way your chest heaved as you breathed, heavier even when he licked his lip. He saw the way your hands couldn’t stay still and the way you pressed your thighs together every now and again.

He could hear it in your shaky words and staggered breathing.

And honestly, Spencer loved it.

He didn’t think he’d ever had this effect on a woman before and it was enough to make him aroused. He already knew he wanted you, needed you. It was wrong, you were his TA, but the illicit nature of it made it hotter to him.

“So,” he sat back in the chair and crossed one leg over the other. “Tell me about yourself Y/N.” He licked his lip again and watched your thighs press together once more.

He wanted to put his head between those thighs.

“Uhm...I’m not sure where to begin.” You breathing was heavy, breast heaving.

He wanted those breasts in his mouth, he wanted to take your nippes between his lips and suck on them.

You spoke but he didn’t hear your words. His head was entirely elsewhere. He had to think of a way to make you his. And he would. He was sure of it.

He wouldn’t rest until he had you.

***

The next week you dressed more conservatively for work. Strictly pants and thick jackets. But it didn’t stop Dr Reid’s wandering eyes.

After the first few days you felt less nervous around him and actually you found yourself loving the effect you had on him. Today during a lecture he had dropped a pen on the floor and you’d picked it up for him, making sure to give him an eyeful of your backside.

He’d stumbled over his words for a few minutes after that and you were left with an odd sense of pride.

After the first few weeks you started dressing less conservatively. Your pencil skirts came back out of hiding and sometimes you left an extra button on your shirt undone.

Despite the obvious tension between the two of you, you were learning a lot from Dr Reid. He was incredibly smart and a wonderful lecturer. You found yourself hanging off his every word when he lectured and you could tell his students felt the same.

After a month of working with him, you were starting to get more friendly with one another. You would spend your free time on campus getting coffee and walking the grounds together while he told you stories of his time with the BAU.

You were able to relax around him, make jokes and playful conversation. But there was still that underlying sexual tension that drove you both wild.

That night Spencer had papers to grade and you offered to stay and help.

You popped out to the campus coffee shop for some pick me ups and when you returned to his office his jacket was slung over the back of his chair, his tie undone and draped around his neck and the top few buttons of his shirt were undone.

It was such a sight you almost dropped the coffees but managed to steady yourself in time.

“Ah my saviour.” He smiled up at you from a stack of papers. “Bring the chair around here, we can read together and you can tell me what you think.”

Nervously you pulled the chair around next to him but not too close. Spencer laughed.

“I don’t bite.” He smirked at you. Unless you want me to.

You laughed nervously and shuffled a little closer. You picked up the paper on top of the stack and started reading over it.

Spencer’s eyes were on you the whole time and it made your concentration wane. His gaze was intense and focused on your mouth and you squeezed your thighs together.

“You do that a lot.” His voice was low and breathy.

You looked at him like a deer in headlights.

“Do what?” You croaked.

His eyes were trained on your lips and you had never wanted someone to kiss you more in your entire life.

“Squeeze your thighs together.” He leaned closer to you and you could feel his hot breath on your face. “Is it because of me?”

“Spencer,” you whispered looking down into your lap.

“I know, I know.” He sighed. “You're my TA. I’m a lot older than you.”

“You’re not that much older than me.” You looked back up and your eyes met his. He was chewing his lip.

“It’s wrong that I feel this way.” He swallowed. “But goddamnit Y/N, ever since you walked into my office I can’t stop thinking about you and all the things I want to do to you. But it’s wrong. But gosh that makes it so hot.”

A surge of confidence came over you and you pushed your chest forward, leaning even closer to him.

“So what are you going to do about it, Doctor Reid?”

He hissed at your use of his honorific.

“You are a tease, do you know that?” He growled. “A filthy fucking tease.”

“Maybe you should do something about it then.”

Spencer couldn’t hold back any longer. He’d shown a hell of a lot of restraint this past month but he couldn’t do it anymore.

He grasped your face and closed the small space between you. Your lips finally met with blinding passion. You moaned at the sensation you’d been dreaming of for weeks. Spencer took advantage of this and his tongue thrust into your mouth.

He pulled you into his lap and you straddled him as he deepened the kiss. You let him control you, you’d let him do anything to you, you were sure of it.

His hands left your face and trailed down your sides before rounding your back. His fingers pushed your skirt up and then his large hands cupped your ass, squeezing tight.

You moaned again, your hands diving inside his shirt to feel the hot skin of his chest. You started toying with his shirt buttons but Spencer broke the kiss and glared at you.

“Nuh uh.” He shook his head. “You lost your privilege to do what you want when you insisted on teasing me in class. You’ll do what I say, and only what I say. Understood?”

Oh god that was hot, you felt weak.

“Yes.”

“Yes who?”

“Yes Doctor Reid.”

“That’s better.” He smirked. “Now get up.”

You nodded, slipping off his lap and standing in front of him.

Spencer stood from his chair, towering over you.

“Bend over the desk.”

You swallowed, nodding stiffly. You turned around and leant over the desk, your palms flat on the wood, sticking your ass up as high as you could.

Another hiss left Spencer’s lips. You felt him move close to you and press his body into yours. You could feel his hard dick in his pants pushing against your rear.

“You want that Y/N? Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” You croaked. “Yes please Doctor Reid.”

He laughed, his breath hitting your neck.

“Well you’re going to have to wait.”

You felt his hands on the backs of your thighs and his fingertips traced over your skin. He hoisted your skirt up again and hissed once more.

“Black lace panties, really Y/N?” He ran his fingers over the fabric. “This is underwear that is begging to be seen.”

“Yes Doctor.”

“Who did you wear these for?”

“You Doctor Reid, only you.”

“Damn right.” He slapped his palm on your ass cheek, the sound of flesh on flesh filling the room.

He leant into you again, his hands now on your stomach, making their way to your breasts.

He cupped your breasts through your shirt, palming them and applying pressure.

“Perfect.” He groaned into your ear. “Just fucking perfect.”

Suddenly he stood back again and you felt empty without his touch. For a few seconds the room was silent and you didn’t know what to expect.

“Turn around.” He spoke again suddenly, startling you a little.

You did as you were told, loving the way he was domineering you this way.

His eyes trailed up and down your body, lingering on your chest.

“Undo your shirt.” He growled at you. “I want to see you. That’s what you want isn’t it? My eyes all over your body. That’s why you dress this way you fucking tease.”

His words made you so wet. He was usually so nice and so soft spoken so seeing this side of him was making your toes curl.

Once again, you did as you were told and started unbuttoning your shirt. You made sure to tackle the buttons slowly, really give Spencer a show. Once all the buttons were undone you shrugged your shirt off your shoulders.

Spencer took in the view of your breasts clad in a bra that matched your panties. He was chewing his lip so hard he could taste his own blood.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He hissed. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Whatever you want Doctor Reid.”

“On your knees.” He instructed and you smirked to yourself, liking where this was heading.

You got down on your knees in front of him, looking up at him through your lashes.

“What do you want, Doctor?” You pouted, licking your lips.

He unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his slacks. The zipper slid down soon after and he pulled his dick free of the confines of pants and underwear.

His was painfully hard, practically throbbing. He was big but you knew you could take him.

You bowed your head and let your tongue lap over his swollen head making him groan in an animalistic fashion.

“Is this what you want Doctor?” You breathed, making sure your breath hit his cock.

“You fucking know it is.” He growled. “Take me. Take all of me.”

You smirked up at him, knowing just the thought of his dick in your mouth was breaking down his tough facade.

You took his command and wrapped your lips around his head before quickly moving down his shaft.

He felt his dick hit the back of your throat and his hand flew to your hair, tugging hard.

“Fucking hell.” His head fell back and his eyes closed.

You smirked around his shaft as you started moving. You bobbed your head up and down his length but before long, Spencer started thrusting, practically fucking your mouth. And it was so hot.

He tugged your hair harder and harder as he thrust in and out of your warm, wet mouth. He forced his eyes open so he could watch his cock disappear in and out of your mouth.

“Touch yourself.” He grunted. You could taste his pre-come leaking from his head. “Now.”

You pulled your skirt up with one hand and moved your panties aside. Your finger danced on your wet clit, making you moan around Spencer.

His eyes flicked between your mouth bobbing up and down around him and to your hand between your legs.

It was almost too much for him but he wasn’t ready for this to be over. He startled you when he pulled back, removing his dick from your mouth.

You stared up at him, your hand at a standstill on your core. You wanted to await Spencer’s instructions.

“Are you wet?”

“So wet.”

“Good.” He wrapped his hand around your wrist and pulled you up to your feet. He took your fingers in his mouth and moaned at the taste of you on his tongue.

“God you taste so fucking good.” Quickly he reached behind you and swiped his hands across the desk sending the paperwork flying. He took you by your shoulders and guided you back until your ass collided with the desk.

He pushed you back so you were laying down and practically tore your skirt and panties off leaving you in just your bra and heels. He grabbed hold of your legs and swung them over his shoulders before he thrust into you with all his might.

You both moaned loudly as he filled you up. You were so tight and wet around him he almost blew his load then and there.

He started his thrusts, hard and fast and frantic. With your legs on his shoulders the angle he was hitting you at was phenomenal. You arched your back and closed your eyes.

“Look at me.” He spat making your eyes shoot back open in an instant.

He smirked, he loved how he had you wrapped around his little finger so easily.

“Take off your bra.” He was panting now as he spoke, feeling dangerously close to the edge. He tried to steady himself, he wasn’t ready for this to be over just yet.

You arched your back some more and reached your hand behind you to undo the clasp of your bra. It took longer than usual as Spencer was pounding into you, slamming you against the desk.

When it was unhooked you slid it off your arms and discarded it on the floor.

Spencer chewed his lip and hissed, taking you all in.

“Fucking hell.” He groaned. He let your legs slide from his shoulders to his waist so he could move closer to you.

He bowed his head and wasted no time in taking your hard nipple in his mouth. He’d imagined sucking your tits countless times but nothing compared to the real thing.

He continued thrusting while using his teeth to really work you up. His fingers played deftly with your other nipple.

You were a complete mess beneath him, completely succumbed to him and his will.

You moaned when his lips left your nipple but they stayed on your skin, sucking on the swell of breast. He wanted to mark you. He wanted you to remember this for days to come.

He sucked a mark on your other breast and then moved to your neglected nipple. He was so close he knew he couldn’t last much longer and judging by your stifled moans you were close too.

He stood back up right so he could thrust deeper inside you.

“This is what you wanted isn’t it? You fucking…tease.” His words were punctuated with moans. “Touch yourself. Touch that pretty little clit for me.”

You were compliant and slid your hand down your body between your legs.

Spencer’s thrusts were becoming sloppy as you watched your fingers dance over your heat. Your eyes rolled back in your head. Between your fingers and Spencer’s dick hitting you in places you’d never experienced before, you couldn’t hold out any longer.

“Doctor,” you groaned. “I’m gonna...I’m gonna…”

“Come you fucking dirty tease. Come all over my dick.”

Your orgasm washed over you and moaned incoherently. You tightened around Spencer as you came and it pushed him to his own orgasm.

He moaned your name as he filled you up, lazily still thrusting. His face was flushed and slick with a sheen of sweat.

He rode out his orgasm inside you and then he pulled out. He gently took hold of your wrists and sat you up on the edge of the desk.

He cupped your face delicately, so far from the man he’d been mere seconds before.

“Are you ok Y/N?” His eyes were riddled with concern as he looked at you.

“I’m more than ok.” You smiled at him.

He kissed you softly but it was only brief before he pulled himself away from you.

“Good. Now be a good TA and clear up this mess.” He gestured to the papers now scattered all over the floor.

You nodded and went to reach for your discarded clothes.

“I didn’t say anything about getting dressed.” He smirked as he sat back in his chair, now soft dick still hanging out of his pants.

You did as you were told and dressed only in your heels you started bending down to clear up the papers, making sure to put on a show of it.

You could feel his heavy gaze on you and it didn’t take long for his dick to start hardening again at the sight of your bare ass as you bent over.

“Such a tease.” He growled, his hand finding his shaft. You looked back at him as he started slowly pumping himself. “You’re a slut aren’t you Y/N? A filthy slut.”

You felt a sense of pride over what you were able to do to this gorgeous man. Teaching training was definitely going to be an interesting experience.

“Only for you Doctor Reid.” You smirked. “Only for you.”

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #cmbingo21 #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #professor reid #filth #smut #so much smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you

524 notes · View notes

inkykeiji · 3 years

Text

day two ❅ cause i’m mrs. snow, til death we’ll be freezing

don’t cry snowman, don’t leave me this way, a puddle of water can’t hold me close, baby

day one ❅ day two ❅ day three | series masterlist

character: todoroki touya | dabi

genre: smut + angst

notes: weeee yay day two!! touya + co go ice skating :) this, again, was not supposed to be as long as it is, but eh here we are!! | title credit: snowman by sia

warnings: 18+, pseudo-incest (stepcest), drug use, very rough sex, public sex, generally toxic relationships, size difference, tense family dynamics, reader’s probably a lil too obsessed with touya’s cum, slight dacryphilia, slight degradation

words: 8.3k

synopsis:

I’m only worried about you, you want to say. It isn’t your intention to put more stress on him, especially when being forced to spend nearly every waking minute around his blood siblings is evidently very difficult for him, but you don’t want him dead because of it, either.

“I love you,” you tell him instead, unsaid words sown into the fabric of the sentence.

But he doesn’t need to hear you say it, he can feel it—in the air around you, radiating off your frame in thick waves that crash into him in the most pleasant way; in the way your soft fingertips stroke his cheeks, tracing his features with the utmost gentleness; in the way you gaze so tenderly at him, eyes sweeping across his face akin to the most compassionate caress.

It all makes him feel like he can do this, like he might actually survive this, so long as you’re by his side.

❅ ❅ ❅ ❅ ❅ ❅

The wind howls gently, picking up swirls of snow and dusting it against the window, the snowflakes soft taptaptap’s echoing among the tiny bedroom. It’s grey but bright outside, the morning of December 22nd. Strands of hair stick to your cheeks and neck, chills erupting across your skin as you wiggle around beneath Touya’s heavy arm, laying across your waist in a loose grasp, your movements causing the blanket to slip from your clammy skin, a soft hiss spit through your teeth as the cool air of the room hits your heated skin. Touya’s got his head buried in the pillow, his torso laying half on top of yours, legs intertwined.

“Touya-nii,” you whimper, eyebrows furrowing a little in frustration as you struggle under him. “Niichan,”

“Mmph,” he emits an unintelligible noise in response, muffled by the pillow.

“Niichaaaaan,” the honorific leaves your lips in a whine, giving another weak shove at his arm. “Niichan, you’re so hot, I’m gonna melt,”

“Too bad. We’re not getting up yet,”

You whine again, your squirming becoming more vigorous. ��But Touya-nii, I’m so thirsty! Please, my mouth is drier than the desert, I swear to God,”

“If you don’t stop acting like a brat, I’m gonna fuck you like a brat,”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?”

That gets his attention, fluffy head shooting up, white tufts tousled and standing on end, sleepy eyes squinting against the sudden light as he tries to glare at you. “Excuse me?”

The deep, rough lilt to his voice, heavy with sleep, makes your stomach flutter, blood rushing to your cheeks as you gaze at him.

Even in the morning, he’s stupidly beautiful.

“G-Got you up,” you giggle a little, reaching forward to run your fingers through his messy hair, smoothing it down in the process.

He deadpans, glaring at you for a moment, though there’s no heat in his eyes. You stare back, blinking twice, little fingers trailing down the side of his face and then tracing his jaw, murmuring about how pretty he is.

“Pretty, huh?” he finally sighs, a small grin spreading across his cheeks, head tilting to the side as your fingers travel down his neck, tracing the intricate black ink.

“Mm, very pretty,” you whisper to yourself, eyes zeroing in on his adams apple as it bobs with his chuckle. “But I’m still thirsty,”

He laughs again, rolling his eyes and pushing himself up completely, sheets pooling at his waist. “Fucking brat,”

It’s just past 9am, but the kitchen is empty. Touya carries you there, and even though you’re more than capable of walking by yourself, you snuggle into his neck, scattering gentle kisses across the scarred skin, head resting against his broad shoulder.

He exhales a sigh as you do so, and you can physically feel the tension leaving his body, a tiny bit more with each kiss you press against him.

A soft yelp hitches in your throat as he places you on the counter, cold marble stinging the bare skin of your thighs, Touya smirking at the sound as he wanders over to the fridge, rooting through it for a moment before turning back towards you.

“Water?” you make a face. Touya deadpans for the second time in fifteen minutes.

“You said you were thirsty, did you not?”

“Yeah, but…” you trail off shyly, hooking your ankles together and swinging your legs a little. “I wanted chocolate milk,”

“No,” he says instantly, slamming the fridge shut with more force than necessary, jars jiggling and clinking together with the motion. “Water first,” he uncaps the bottle and holds it out to you. “Don’t you dare start pouting,” he adds, when your eyebrows are beginning to knit together, voice stern. “You did not drag me out of bed at nine in the fucking morning because your mouth was drier than the desert just to pout when I give you water. You know you aren’t allowed sugar first thing in the morning, baby,”

You suppose he has a point, working hard to smooth your face as you take the bottle from him.

“M’sorry, niichan,” you murmur before taking a sip, gazing at him through your lashes.

He glares at you for another moment before a tiny grin breaks his face, shaking his head with a soft chuckle.

“You’re really testing me this morning,” he mumbles as large hands pry your knees apart, wedging his hips between your thighs while hands curl around your hips and drag you towards the edge of the counter. Your legs wrap around his waist—an automatic reaction—ankles hooking again and holding him close, bodies pressed flush together.

Something’s still off, you can tell, evident in the way his head drops the moment you’re close enough, forehead resting against the crown of your head, exhaling.

“It’s not very nice, babygirl,” he speaks again after a beat of silence, calloused hands slipping under your—his, your mind reminds you—t-shirt, palming your hips. “Think you should make it up to me, hmm?”

And you want to, God, do you ever want to, want to kiss all of his sorrow away, want to pull those gorgeous broken whines and throaty moans from him, want to help him forget about whatever it is that’s bothering him so deeply, to lock it out of his head, shoving it from his mind as his brain is filled with thoughts of you. But…

“B-But niichan, we’re in the kitchen,” you have to force the trembling words from your mouth, biting down hard on your lip to keep from moaning as his teeth skim along your neck, evoking a full body shiver.

“So?” his lips brush against your skin, nimble fingers dipping into your cute pink panties.

“Anyone could—could come in any second and—”

“What? Catch us?” he pulls back a little, smirking. “And?” sapphire searches your face as heat rushes to your cheeks, rushes shamefully between your legs. He snorts a moment later, pressing two fingers against your clothed cunt. “Exactly,” the word is just a huff of breath as he nudges his nose against yours. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“I—”

“Don’t try lying,” he sounds bored as he cuts you off, fingers rubbing at your little hole through the damp cotton of your panties. “Your pussy’s very honest,”

And the broken whine that hitches in your chest is nothing short of absolutely pathetic, back arching and eyes fluttering as he begins flicking his thumb over your clit, keeping his touches light and fast.

“Yeah,” he breathes, the word bordering on a growl. “Of course you would. Bet you could cum from just this if Natsuo were watching, huh? Want everyone to know how easy you are for niichan? How much of a good little slut you are for niichan?”

“You planning on testing that theory out?”

Natsuo’s unexpected voice makes you jump, eyes snapping open and flying to his face as you choke on a gasp, Touya’s thumb choosing then to press hard against your swollen little clit, forcing an embarrassingly loud cry from your lips and paying no mind to his younger brother, who’s leaning casually against the doorframe with a smirk decorating his face. In fact, Touya doesn’t react to Natsuo at all—

Because he already knew.

“N-Niichan,” you nearly wail, burying your scalding face in his shoulder, nails digging into the smooth muscles of his back.

“Aww,” Natsuo coos, and he sounds genuine. “C’mon, don’t hide from me, sweetheart,”

“What, now you’re shy? When you were about to get off on the very thought just moments ago?” Touya’s patronizing chuckle vibrates against you, though his hands are on your back, petting you in smooth, soothing motions.

“Niisan, don’t tease,” Natsuo laughs, and you smush your face harder against Touya’s shoulder, whimpering a little as Natsuo’s voice gets closer. “I just figured if you two were gonna have a cheeky lil fuck in the kitchen, the least you could do is let me watch,”

Touya begins laughing again, starts to say something, voice abruptly cutting off. You stiffen, clinging to him, breath bated as you listen.

“Surprised you two were the first ones up,” Fuyumi’s voice floats through the space, tone clipped.

You peak out from over Touya’s shoulder, watching as Fuyumi fiddles around with their extremely expensive coffeemaker, a deep scowl etched into her face.

“Oh? And why’s that?” Touya asks lightly, sounding genuinely surprised, innocently curious.

“You know why,” she snaps, slamming her coffee mug down on the granite countertop and whipping her head around to glare at her older brother.

Touya chuckles and shakes his head, maintaining that he doesn’t, he swears, and if you didn’t know any better, if you couldn’t see the smug smirk on his face, the mocking amusement swirling in his eyes, you’d believe him to be telling the truth.

But Fuyumi knows him better than that, rolling her eyes and grumbling unintelligibly under her breath. Shouto chooses then to enter the kitchen, hair slightly mussed, looking a little like a white and red haystack atop his head, and Touya’s body goes rigid.

He yawns out his morning greeting, glancing around the room, mismatched eyes lingering on your bare thighs for just a second too long.

Touya notices, because Touya notices everything—especially when it comes to Shouto, cobalt eyes sharp and trained on his every movement—moving to shield you with his body as best he can.

“C’mon princess,” he’s mumbling as his hands force their way under your ass, hefting you up again. “Let’s go,”

And no one misses the way Shouto watches the two of you leave, the way his sleepy eyes focus on your ass—just barely concealed by the cotton panties, Touya’s hands providing more coverage than the garment does—then move down to his brother’s shameless erection, partially obscured by your body, inhaling a sharp gasp that everyone hears, that everyone knows what it’s in reaction to, that everyone ignores.

❅ ❅ ❅

Today’s activity is ice skating, Rei tells you as your exiting the cabin.

She looks excited, a smile on her soft lips, eyes bright as she pats your shoulder, and it makes warmth flutter in your chest, glad to see the events of yesterday haven’t completely dampened her mood.

“Do you know how to skate?” Natsuo asks you, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

“I do,” you say proudly, looking over at Rei as you reach Touya’s car, sharing a grin. “Rei taught me not long after she and my father started dating,”

“Aw, mom,” Natsuo coos, looking over at his mother for reassurance. “That’s sweet,”

Rei hums, nodding as her eyes drift back to yours.

“Hold on a second,” she says as her smile slowly begins to dissipate, glancing from Touya’s hand on the handle of his car’s passenger door, to your face, to Natsuo standing by his own car a few feet away, brows knitting.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting in the car?” his response comes out as a question, spoken slowly as he’s worried it’s the wrong answer, tilting his head a little like a puppy.

“There’s no need for you to take more than one car,” Rei says pointedly, her gaze darting to Touya, holding his eyes even though she was speaking to Natsuo. His mouth falls open to protest, but she continues. “The five of you will fit in one. We’ll see you there,”

Her tone is final as she turns away and gets into her own car, the five of you watching in silence as it reverses onto the road, snow and ice cracking and popping under the thick tires. Natsuo turns back to the group, a large, boyish smile on his face.

“It’s fine! We’ll take my car,” Natsuo’s eyes soften a little as he looks over at his silver Porsche, patting the roof affectionately.

“No,” Fuyumi responds immediately. “Absolutely not.”

Stone eyes fly back to her face, alarmed. “What! Why?”

“Because you drive like a lunatic—I refuse to ride in any car when you’re behind the wheel,”

Natsuo frowns as he rounds his car, coming to stand with the group. “Well your car isn’t here, since you came up with mom, so—”

“We can take Touya’s car,”

“No,” Touya nearly growls, the unexpected rumbling deep in his chest causing everyone to flinch.

“Why not?” Fuyumi’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, eyes narrowing slightly as she glances at her older brother. “I can’t think of any reason—”

“He is not stepping foot in my fucking car,”

Fuyumi’s eyes widen slightly, staring at him in disbelief, arms crossed tightly over her chest. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like I’m fucking kidding, or are you really that stupid?”

“Touya-nii,” you gasp softly, tugging on his arm a little and then hugging it to your chest. His voice drips with venom, sharper than a tungsten needle, and it makes both you and Natsuo wince, despite not being the object of his fury.

“Fine, Christ, I just won’t come then,” Shouto finally chimes in with a roll of his eyes. “Will that make you happy?”

Touya whirls around to face him, rips his arm from your grasp so aggressively, so suddenly, that it sends you stumbling backwards. Natsuo catches you quickly, righting you with an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

“You wanna know what would make me happy? You fucking de—”

“That’s enough,” Fuyumi cuts him off with a glare so fierce it sends chills skittering across your skin, regardless of the thick sweaterdress and heavy jacket you’re currently wrapped up in. Natsuo must feel it course through your body, because he pulls you tighter against him, fingers digging into your shoulder.

Touya’s eyes snap to his sister, raising an eyebrow as a terrifying smile spreads across his face. It’s a smile you’ve only seen a few times before, gleaming white teeth on display, angular jaw clenched tightly. It’s a smile that makes icy dread pool in your stomach, thick and heavy, and you try to press yourself closer to Natsuo, body flush against his side, partially hiding your face in his chest.

Still, Fuyumi does not waver. “You are an adult, Touya. For God’s sake, act like one! Shouto is not a disease—”

“Could’ve fooled me,”

“—that will infect your car! He’s your baby brother!”

Touya’s eye twitches at the term, painful smile stretching even wider. In the pale afternoon sunlight, those glinting white teeth look pointier than normal, and you whimper into Natsuo’s chest.

“My car, my rules,”

“Oh my God! Are you being ser—”

“Alright, this is getting a little ridiculous,” Natsuo jumps in quickly, trying to keep his voice light. “You’re scaring our little princess, niisan,” he says, voice softer, a large hand rubbing your shoulder in comfort.

Touya spins around again, wild sapphire eyes finding yours, his face falling the moment your gazes meet.

Little fingers have tangled themselves in Natsuo’s jacket, clinging to him so hard the skin over your knuckles is stretched taut. Your entire body trembles as you blink hard, trying in vain to clear the tears rushing to your eyes. The pounding of your heart echoes in your ears, so loud you can’t hear what Touya says as he swoops towards you, eyes wide and worried.

“We’ll take my car, and Fuyumi will drive.”

Natsuo’s voice holds the same note of finality that his mother’s does, large hand still curled around your shoulder as firm stone eyes scan the three faces in front of him.

❅ ❅ ❅

Touya refuses to have you and Shouto in the back seat alone, and Natsuo insists that he sits in the passenger seat, to make sure Fuyumi doesn’t hurt his baby, he explains, which is how you end up smack in the middle of the oldest and youngest Todoroki children.

It’s cramped—they’re both too big to be in the backseat of such a small car—resulting in the three of you being squished together, your body packed in tightly—practically wedged—between theirs.

It’s nearly impossible to keep your thigh from brushing against Shouto’s, but you try anyway, leaning into Touya as much as you can. A strong, possessive arm is wrapped tightly around your waist, fingers fisted in the material of your little sweaterdress, sapphire eyes hyper-focused on the way Shouto’s corduroy clad thigh keeps knocking against your bare knee with every gentle jolt of the car.

But when Shouto idly drops his large hands heavily to his lap with a sigh, long fingers splayed casually, just the very tip of his pinky resting against your thigh—well.

Touya sees fucking red, yanking your body away from his little brother immediately with a vicious growl caught in his throat, the movement so sudden and unexpected it has both you and Shouto gasping, heterochromatic eyes wide and alert as they snap to his eldest brother’s face,

He hadn’t even noticed. Truthfully, you probably wouldn’t have either if it hadn’t been Touya’s suffocating, overbearing presence beside you—engulfing you, causing you to be excessively aware of every miniscule movement, every jostle and touch and bump.

“Don’t fucking touch her,”

It takes Shouto another half a second before the realization hits him, eyes darting down to his thighs, finally taking note of the placement of his fingers. Then he’s scoffing, rolling his eyes as he huffs to himself, quiet and under his breath, something about Touya being absolutely ridiculous and childish and insecure.

Yet Shouto’s legs spread a little more every time Touya pulls you a few centimeters closer to him, ensuring that your thighs can never quite escape his, his strong muscles constantly nudging against yours.

It isn’t until you push your knee back against his, hard and purposeful, giving Shouto a sharp look, that this behaviour finally halts.

“Who’s being childish now?” you hiss, eyes holding his sternly, widening a moment later as if to say, Stop aggravating him.

Shouto’s face falls, lips tugging down into a frown as his gaze searches your face, head shaking a little. He opens his mouth—to apologize, you think—but is cut off by Touya’s immature snickering, his chest vibrating against your back.

“Fuck you,” he seethes instead, eyes narrowing and mouth snapping into a firm, unimpressed line.

“Watch it—”

“Play nice, you two,” Natsuo warns from the front seat. “I won’t hesitate to pull this car over and beat both your asses on the side of the road for everyone to see,”

“Okay, dad,” Shouto snorts as Touya simultaneously responds with, “I’d like to see you try,”

Nevertheless, Natsuo’s little warning does manage to shut them up for the remainder of the ride, Shouto crossing his legs, knees pressed up painfully against the door in an attempt to stop touching you. You’re practically in Touya’s lap by the time you arrive at the Ena Skating Rink at Crystal Park, seatbelt uncomfortably biting into your flesh through your clothing.

“I don’t understand why we had to drive an hour just to go skating,” Shouto grumbles just as Fuyumi turns into the parking lot, face set in a deep frown, eyebrows furrowed as he glares out the window. “There was a perfectly fine lake like, ten minutes from the cabin,”

“Shou, you sound like a petulant teenager,”

“Technically, he is a petulant teenager,”

“Not for much longer,”

“That’s right, your birthday’s coming up,” you say automatically without thinking, words slipping from your mouth as Fuyumi circles the lot in search of a parking spot. In the past, Shouto would’ve ignored such a slip-up, figuring the politeness of providing you an answer not worth Touya’s wrath, but now he turns to face you with a small smile, heterochromatic eyes almost twinkling, mask of irritability burning off his face in an instant.

“Yeah, in a few weeks,” he shrugs a shoulder. “I’ll be twenty,”

Do you have any plans?

The question lingers on the tip of your tongue, words frozen at the back of your throat as Touya’s hand curls protectively around you, strong fingers digging into your plush waist hard enough to make you wince.

But Shouto has become pretty good at reading you over these past few years, no longer needs you to voice your thoughts—the two of you have become accustomed to communicating through looks and expressions alone, to keep from sending Touya into an absolute rampage, to keep the both of you safe.

“Not sure what I’m doing yet,” he answers, keeping his voice light, though those mismatched eyes are sharply trained on your face, ready to analyze and decode whatever expression your features morph into.

This is the first time he’s ever verbally answered, though, and it hits you like a bag of bricks swung at your chest, the realization that this is something the two of you have built up together, something the two of you have spent years doing, working together silently, quietly, subtly, to keep Touya placid, something the two of you have been subconsciously doing to protect each other.

The thought inspires an odd feeling in your stomach, chest tightening with something akin to anxiety, something bitter and heavy rooting in the pit of your belly.

Touya saves you from having to answer, hastily unbuckling your seatbelt for you the moment Fuyumi’s finished reversing the car and nearly hauling you out before she’s even cut the engine.

❅ ❅ ❅

“You’re not coming?” you ask Touya as he slips your foot into a skate, beginning to lace it up.

Touya shakes his head. “No,”

“Touya never learned how to skate—refused to, actually,” Natsuo informs you, sitting down next to you on the bench and playfully bumping his shoulder against yours.

Tilting you head, you stare at him, a soft little oh slipping from your lips. Touya avoids your gaze, jaw clenching rhythmically.

“It’s for the best. He really shouldn’t be near any sort of blade for an extended period of time, not while Shouto’s in reach,” Natsuo jokes, though no one laughs, because it’s true.

Touya spends most of his time leaning against the boards, bright sapphire eyes trained on you, glued to you, cataloging all of your movements, each of your cute little giggles and soft little smiles, every hand on your shoulder or waist as it steadies you.

It’s hard for him to watch.

It’s hard for him to watch the way your eyes twinkle as Fuyumi speaks to you, the two of you gliding around the ice nonchalantly, hard for him to watch the way Natsuo pulls endless laughter from your throat as his gloved hands hold yours, pulling you along with him, hard for him to watch when Shouto appears beside you, slowing his stride to talk animatedly to you, the two of you absorbed in whatever discussion you’re having.

And yet, he can tell something isn’t right. Your eyes are twinkling, but they don’t gleam the way they do when you gaze at him. You’re laughing, but it isn’t as bubbly and pure as it is when evoked by him. You’re talking, but you aren’t wholly and completely captivated by whatever it is Shouto’s saying to you, gaze constantly drifting just over his shoulder, connecting with Touya’s.

Those ten little words from the night before echo through his mind again, and his molars grind together, but the look in your eyes, the way your face positively lights up when you skate towards him, past him, blowing kisses and giggling behind mitten covered hands, stomps them to little pieces, to dust, your fleeting presence blowing them away. He feels like he can fucking breathe again, each time you glide by him, resolve hardening a little more with every lap past him.

No, he knows he’s the best for you, absolutely is without a doubt the very best for you— and you confirm it with that loving, adoring, doting look every single time.

Despite this, he keeps disappearing intermittently, your heart sinking just a little bit more every time you look over to see him nowhere to be found, a sour taste settling on the back of your tongue. This is only the second day into the trip and you’re already terrified, knowing that he’s filling his nostrils with that fine white powder the moment he begins to feel his high fading, the moment he feels himself beginning to come down.

And by the third time he vanishes within a single hour, you decide you can no longer stand by and do nothing, say nothing—he’s gone for more than usual this time, an uneasy sense of dread flooding your body, making your limbs tingle as your heart begins to race, plopping down on the wooden bench and bending down to quickly unlace your skates. Your voice shakes as you tell the others that you’d like to take a short break from skating, claiming that your feet are sore, and that you’d like to rest for a while.

In actuality, you’re sure they all know what you’re doing, itching to go search for Touya, heart pounding painfully as several scenarios flash through your mind, but they say nothing, nodding with those polite smiles they all plaster on their faces any time something like this occurs.

The muscles in your thighs ache as you jog across the snow-dusted field, eyes frantically darting around the large open space in search for a man with ivory hair and azure eyes. Your feet take off the moment you spot him, an instinctual reaction, breath ragged and burning in your chest as you barrel into him, winding your arms around his waist tightly and burying your face in his strong chest.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he’s murmuring softly, arms encircling you and squeezing you against him, dropping a kiss to the crown of your head. “What’s going on, princess?”

Pulling back, your eyes study his face, stomach plummeting when you see it.

“Out playing in the snow again?”

Cobalt eyes narrow, Touya tilting his head in question as he stares at you. A frown mars your face, deep sigh leaving your nostrils without your permission, and Touya bristles. A tender thumb swipes across his nose, showing him the pure white powder it gathers.

“Slow down,” you say softly, gently, cautious eyes watching him carefully. “I don’t want a trip to the ER for Christmas,”

He holds your gaze for a moment, and you can see it, the blue fire simmering deep within them, but because it’s Christmas—and only because it’s Christmas—he blinks twice, extinguishing the flame to dull embers.

Chest heaving once, deep and heavy, he sighs out of parted lips, holding your hand to his cheek. Sapphire eyes close briefly as he nuzzles his face into your touch, and for a moment—just for a second—you think he’s about to apologize.

But that would be a Christmas miracle.

“Keep me in line,” he says quietly, shoulders slumping a little in defeat, a tiny sardonic grin on his lips as his eyes open again, searching your face. “Okay? Can’t let my best girl down on Christmas, now, can I?”

And although his shoulders are straining under the weight of this new responsibility—to try and restrain himself a little more, to not solely rely on the drugs to numb him to everything, to give up autonomy, power, to you—a weight feels like it’s been lifted off of yours, regardless of the fact that he’s asking you to control him, and you inhale deeply, able to breathe again.

“I love you,” you tell him instead, unsaid words sown into the fabric of the sentence.

It all makes him feel like he can do this, like he might actually survive this, so long as you’re by his side. The thought produces an inexplicable lump in his throat and he blinks hard, glittering eyes sweeping across your face before he seizes it, large hands cupping your jaw almost painfully as he pulls your face towards his, lips capturing yours in a crushing kiss.

Niichan! You try to squeal, muffled by his lips, Touya using the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth, down your throat.

Traitorous as ever, your body melts into his only a second later, fingers latching behind his neck, trying to pull yourself closer.

“I need more,” he mumbles against your lips before pecking them again, eyes still closed. “I need more, baby, I need more right now,”

“Then take it,” you whine breathlessly into his mouth, echoing your words from the night before. “Take it, it’s yours,”

❅ ❅ ❅

It smells like damp rubber and stale snow, with a hint of year-old hard candy crushed beneath snow boots, releasing faint scents of artificial strawberry and orange.

The restroom is filthy, but neither of you care, too wrapped up in each other to pay much mind to the grime on the walls, or the flaky rust on the faucet—which is quietly dripping intermittently, covered in little droplets of condensation that gleam under the harsh florescent light humming above, tubes exposed.

The cement wall is cold against your bare skin as Touya rucks your dress up around your waist, hands under your ass supporting your weight as your legs wrap around him obediently, praising you for listening to him and never wearing pants, even in weather like this, because god, it makes everything so much easier, baby.

In the past, you would’ve been in a rush, positive you didn’t have much time before someone noticed your absence.

But your family is used to this now, completely unphased by the two of you disappearing for twenty, sometimes thirty minutes and returning with swollen lips and freshly fucked hair.

It’s not like they can say anything, anyway—it’s not like anything is going to stop the two of you now; it’s not like anything would’ve stopped the two of you before, either.

Despite this, Touya still doesn’t exactly take his time with you, large hands pawing at your breasts, your waist, your hips, fingers dipping into the elastic waistband of your panties just to let it snap back against your skin, reveling in the little yelp it conjures from you.

“Already soaked,” he sneers in your ear as two fingers skim over your lace-clad cunt. “Of course you are. I don’t know why I expected any less,” he huffs out a chuckle; a mean, harsh sound that ghosts over the shell of your ear before he captures it with his teeth, biting down hard and forcing a high-pitched squeal from your throat. “Because my baby’s such a Goddamn slut, isn’t she,” his lips are against your ear as he murmurs in that low, sultry voice, hot breath contrasting the cool air of the restroom, and you shiver violently.

“Only for you,” you whine out, already breathless.

And you’ll never get over how easily he knocks the air out of your lungs with just a few dirty words and prodding fingers, stroking your slit through drenched lace in a way that’s almost gentle, careful, purposeful, sure to keep his touches as teasing and not nearly enough.

Still, those three words have more of an effect on him than you would’ve thought, a possessive growl ripping from his chest as he grinds his hard cock against your inner thigh, the denim rough against your soft skin.

That growl in particular is your favourite, and you tell him so.

“Yeah?” he laughs a little, pulling back as sapphire searches your face rapidly, wide and bright and alert with the cocaine rushing through his body.

“Makes me—” sharp teeth sink into the flesh of your neck, just above your shoulder, a loud gasp cutting you off and bouncing against the walls of the small room. “Makes me wet, niichan,”

He groans into your skin, tongue wet and warm and caressing the skin in little licks back and forth, back and forth, back and forth as he sucks, branding you with brilliant violet.

“What’s this? My princess talking so dirty without being prompted?” he pulls back to look at you, and you can see the amusement dancing in his deep, deep eyes, endless pits of cerulean smothering everything their gaze touches, almost voracious as they soak it all up, feeling like they’re sucking the very life from you in the most delicious way.

A pitiful squeak escapes your lips in the form of an answer, heat seeping into your cheeks. He’s mocking you—you can tell. Those three words uttered from your lips aren’t even that dirty, are nothing compared to some of the things that have come out of your mouth while you’re delirious on his cock, begging for his cum.

Still, you’re unable to find your voice, staring at him in an almost helpless manner, a little kitten in the clutches of a jaguar, claws beginning to close in on you, trapping you between heavy, sharp paws.

“Ah,” he smirks, eyes darkening dangerously. “Not so bold when niichan’s actually looking at you, are you?”

Front teeth dig into your bottom lip, chewing on it a little as you hold his gaze, feeling heat gush between your thighs, the symphony of your combined slightly ragged breathing ringing in your ears.

“Say it again,”

And you try—really, you do, lips separating as you try to force the words out, a nasty combination of frustration and shame eroding your chest, burning and acidic, then shaking your head a moment later.

“Just,” you whimper as you try to pathetically rock against him. “Please?”

“Nah, nah, nah,” he’s shaking his head, that stupid grin etched across his face, pulling back even more but keeping you up against the wall, hands still cupping your ass, hips pinning yours. “Niichan isn’t gonna fuck you now unless you ask for it,”

Your forehead creases with a deep frown. You usually ask him to fuck you, don’t you? “I alwa—”

“No, no, you don’t,” he says simply with a tilt of his head. “Niichan wants you to really ask for it this time,”

You blink rapidly in confusion. “I-I don’t understand,”

Little breaths are beginning to leave your mouth, speeding up with the racing of your heart, terrified to upset him. Yet he looks amused, looks like he’s having so much fun as he torments you.

“Aw, sweetheart,” he coos with a false pout, mimicking your own. “You’re not that stupid, are you?”

A little whimper leaves your lips, chin twitching, threatening to begin trembling as you shake your head at him, unable to find words. Heat floods your face again, little pinpricks under the skin of your cheeks, a physical manifestation of your humiliation as he tuts his tongue.

“I don’t know how else to explain it to you,” he shrugs nonchalantly, though you can feel his cock throbbing through the thick denim of his jeans. “Just ask for my cock, babygirl,”

Although oozing with patronization, his voice is soft, blown pupils gazing at you with so much love it’s nearly overflowing from his eyes, slender fingers kneading the flesh of your ass almost tenderly as he waits.

And that’s all the encouragement you need, really.

“I-I want your cock, nii—” you begin, voice fading as your eyes meet his unimpressed gaze, raising an eyebrow at you as if to say Really? That’s the best you got?

A fierce need to prove yourself, to make him moan again, to make his stomach tense from just your words alone, blazes in your chest, burning through your veins and giving you another surge of confidence.

Gazing at him through your lashes, you pout a little more. “Niichan,” you whine out the honorific, back arching a little as you do. “Please, niichan, give it to me, I’m begging, my pussy is aching for your cock, T-Touya-nii—I need it filling me up, need it right now, f-feels so empty without you stretching me wide open,” the sentence fades off into a little whimper, but his lidded, glazed eyes, and the way his tongue runs along his bottom lip as he stares at you spurs you on, more dirty words spilling from your lips. “Feels—Feels wrong without your f-fat cock inside of me,” you nearly weep. “Please, niichan, make it right again,”

The gentle tremble in your voice only adds to it, somehow manages to make you seem so fucking innocent as you whine out such filthy words, and Touya can barely handle it, rubbing against your thigh, the repetitive motion of the denim dragging across your soft skin causing it to chafe.

“Fucking Christ,” he breathes, pressing his forehead against yours as his eyes slip shut. “I wish I had recorded that,”

A cute, shy little giggle bubbles up your throat, face still burning. “I-I can say it again, if you want, niichan,”

He laughs—a genuine laugh deep in his throat, paired with a smile that meets his eyes—and presses a chaste kiss to your nose.

“One day, I’ll film us,” he vows, and the thought alone makes your stomach swoop. “But now, niichan’s gonna make you feel right again, okay, princess?”

“Oh, please, please,” you’re whimpering, body quivering against him.

“Shh, niichan’s got you,” he murmurs as he fiddles with his belt using a singular hand, your tiny fingers wandering down between your bodies to aid him.

Shoving your panties to the side, the head of his cock presses against you, and you wince in anticipation of the stretch—the stretch you so lovingly begged him for, he reminds you, sapphire eyes soaking up every single one of your expressions as he pushes in; reveling in the way your shut lids tighten, face screwing up in pain as the softest little yelp hitches in your throat.

It burns unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, abused cunt still sore and raw from the night before, from being fucked so ruthlessly less than twenty-four hours ago.

But you’re so wet, he breathes, rolling his hips slowly, stretching you little hole out just a bit more with each unhurried rock of his hips against yours. The wetness does nothing to stop the sting that accompanies his motions, though, reopening the tiny superficial fissures in your sensitive skin, quite literally tearing you apart, again, as your cunt yields to his girth.

“Niichan, hurts,”

“Yeah, baby?”

Little fingers curl in his thick sweater, and you whimper out an affirmative, head nodding lethargically against his shoulder.

“I thought you wanted niichan to fill you up?” he speaks as though he’s confused, a hint of condescension sown into the question, never halting his thrusts.

“I-I do!” you say quickly, head shooting up to gaze at him with glassy eyes, thick shield of unshed tears causing them to gleam in the harsh light. “I do,”

“Well then,” he smirks at you, hips pulling back, slow and controlled, before thrusting back in, sharp and fast, so hard it shoves your body up the wall, head whacking against the concrete with such force it sends agonizing pain shooting through your skull like lightning strikes. “Stop being a fucking brat, and take what niichan’s giving you,” he scolds over the piercing cry that falls from your lips, voice rough, deep, rumbling the way thunder does, buried in thick clouds on a humid summer’s day.

“Ungrateful little slut,” he snarls out, panting a little as his hips set a punishing pace, rapidly slamming into you, his jutting hipbones digging into the fresh bruises from the night before.

And you’re powerless to stop the noises you’re emitting, catching in your throat in time with his harsh thrusts, little mewls of niichan! and broken whines bouncing off the solid, cold walls, each one reverberating in his skull, forcing his hips to drive faster, harder, deeper.

But it’s fucking intoxicating, the way he’s pulling those needy little sounds from you as tears slip down your cheeks, pompously spitting demeaning words at you, sugarcoated in a thin, gleaming layer of praise. He’s a goddamn drug, words invading your mind and casting a thick haze over it, and during that moment all you can see is him, hear is him, taste is him—you swear you can feel him rushing through your veins, his heady scent of expensive cologne mixed with hickory campfire and a hint of Marlboros filling your lungs, the organs swelling painfully as you hold him inside your chest, trying to keep a piece of him close to your heart.

He stops to readjust your position, grunting as hooks an arm under your knee and yanks, ripping it from around his waist and forcing it toward your torso, your ankle nearly resting on his shoulder, his hand splayed flat against the dirty wall, using it as leverage. Your other leg clings to him, wrapped so tightly around his body that the muscles are beginning to quiver. Still, this brief pause affords you a much needed moment to catch your breath before his hips piston into you again, harsh, strong, fast, cockhead slamming against your cervix with each snap of his hips.

Each thrust forces another yelp to tear from your throat, your voice hoarse and raw, as he bruises your abused cervix, sharp spikes of pain shooting up your lower back and down your trembling thighs. He’s a watery blur at this point, eyes overflowing with tears, nails digging into the meat of his shoulders as you clutch him, arms beginning to ache from holding yourself up.

Tufts of white hair stick to his neck and forehead, clumped together with sweat. He’s almost whining out curses, slipping from between clenched teeth as his thrusts continue to pick up speed, although you can barely hear him over the sound of your own ragged breathing, peppered with pitiful little sobs that leave your chest heaving.

“Look at you,” he gasps out, wild sapphire eyes searching your face. “So fucking beautiful, taking my cock so well,”

And even in such a position, inebriated from the potent combination of pain and pleasure and him, his praise still makes your heart soar. A little pink tongue darts out to wet your chapped lips, bitten raw by him and salty with your own tears. Strand of hair stick to your puffy cheeks, though you’re unsure if they’re coated in sweat or tears.

“C’mon, baby,” he nearly keens. “Want you to be a good girl and cum for me,”

And those two tiny, four letter words are the magic words, like they always are, your head nodding vigorously, incoherent babbling bubbling past your lips; yes niichan, of course, wanna be a good girl for you, touya-nii, the best girl, your best girl.

He gives you permission to touch your clit, swollen and aching from neglect, your fingers sneaking between your bodies to rub at it, pussy clenching almost immediately.

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. “Yeah baby, just like that, milk niichan for all the cum he’s got,”

The praise, mixed with a direct command, has your fingers speeding up, moving in rapid circular motions, that cord of heat in your stomach coiling tighter, and tighter, and tighter, until it finally snaps, your little cunt throbbing as you gush around his cock.

He follows immediately after with a dark growl of your name, hips stilling as he finally cums, pinning you against the wall, cockhead pressed tightly against your sore cervix.

It’s thick, scalding, and copious, wrecked little noises getting caught in your throat as his cock pulses, filling you with endless spurts of cum; so much, too much, and you’re sure your womb isn’t nearly big enough to take it all, positive that it’s leaking out of you, running down your ass and down his balls.

You still haven’t caught your breath by the time Touya’s releasing you, hands firm on your hips as he places you gently on your feet, keeping you steady as your legs shake. You can still feel his cum leaking out of you, and you wish you had something better than your thin panties to keep it inside of you. With a pout, you tell him so, voice absolutely ruined as you wheeze out, “I-I wish I had a-a plug, niichan, to hold all of your cum inside me,”

“Christ,” he breathes, eyes twinkling as he gazes down at you, brushing his slender fingers through your sweaty hair. “You’re gonna be the death of me, y’know that?”

❅ ❅ ❅

You don’t remember much of the drive home, struggling to keep your heavy eyelids from falling shut. Touya’s half dried cum is sticky—now practically gelatinous—in your panties and the mere thought of it makes you whimper, wiggling your hips a little, trying to shuffle closer to him.

It makes you feel needy. It makes him feel wanted.

“Niichan’s here, baby,” he’s murmuring into your hair as he readjusts his arm around your waist, pulling both your legs over his lap, your side still pressed firmly against his. “Niichan’s here,”

A pitiful whine slips from your lips, little fingers curling in his hoodie as warm hands travel up your dress, kneading the supple flesh of your thighs. Fingers press into the bruises he knows are there without even having to look, smirking at the way you hiss, contrasted by the way your thighs spread just a bit more, giving him more room to work, to play. The pads of his fingers graze the tiny raised cuts that the rough denim of his jeans left behind, tracing the raised little scabs.

“Sleep,” he tells you softly. “You did so good today, such a good little girl for me, my best girl,”

And his voice is the most soothing lullaby, smooth like melted platinum and quiet enough that only you can hear it, undoubtedly drowned out to the others by the staticky car radio.

❅ ❅ ❅

The dark bedroom is bleary, as if you were gazing at it though a thick slab of glass, eyes scanning the room slowly, mumbling out something that’s unintelligible even to yourself.

You’re not exactly sure how you got here, sitting on one of the twin beds in yours and Touya’s shared bedroom, propped up against the tiny headboard like a doll.

Touya’s murmuring to you softly as tender hands find the hem of your dress, tugging it up slowly, slowly, slowly, a low whine getting caught in your throat as your soft skin is exposed to the cool air, until he’s removed it from you completely. The clasp at the back of your bra snaps, and you want to tell him to be more gentle, this is your favourite bra, but you can’t seem to make your tongue move, the muscle sitting slimy and heavy in your mouth. Your vision disappears entirely for a second as something soft is slipped over your head, your body engulfed in the scent of hickory wood and Marlboro smoke.

Then large hands are all over you, maneuvering you onto your side then rolling you onto your back, gently prying your thighs open a moment later as he kneels between them, the springy mattress dipping with his weight.

“Touya-nii,” his name escapes your lips in a jumbled whine of protest.

“Shh, baby,” he hushes you, pulling your soiled panties down your legs.

Every muscle in your body aches, weighted down with fatigue from the long day, a few weak kicks—more of a fluttering of your legs, really—being all you’re able to manage in resistance.

“Hurts, niichan,” you whimper, through your eyelids are already falling shut again, exhaustion tugging at your consciousness gently.

“I know, princess,” he responds, and you’re just awake enough for the words to register, brow furrowing. His body heat disappears for a moment from between your thighs as he leans over to grab something, then returns, waves of comforting warmth rolling off of him.

Your body flinches ever so slightly as you feel something cold and smooth being spread across your swollen folds and puffy little hole. Cream, your mind supplies feebly.

“Niichan—”

“Quiet now,” he says, voice firmer than before. An order, this time. “Go to sleep, baby, and let niichan take care of this,”

Hot, tingling sparks blossom deep in the pit of your stomach, making your entire body buzz, like you’re high off him again, the sensation causing your chest to swell. This is what love feels like—Touya rubbing cool, soothing cream into your raw skin as he murmurs soft praises to you—you’re absolutely positive about it.

“I love you,”

The words leave your lips as a dreamy sigh, body finally relaxing against the mattress again.

He presses a tender kiss to your inner thigh, the soft skin a mosaic of crimson and violet from his previous ministrations. “I love you more,”

And that’s the last thing you feel, the last thing you hear as your mind slowly drifts into unconsciousness, filled with hazy images of a pretty boy with glowing sapphires for eyes and ivory for hair, of slim veiny hands decorated with the most magnificent black ink, the pads of their fingertips dancing along your skin, of a deep, sultry voice smoother than satin murmuring how much it loves you as lips crawl up your body—up your thighs, over your stomach and ribs, along the curve of you neck, until finally, they reach yours.

#dabi x reader #dabi smut #todoroki touya x reader #todoroki touya smut #dabi #AAAAH this was supposed to be posted last night but i fell asleep editing it after getting distracted by SOMEONE #anyway enjoy!!#i hope u all like it!!#whew two down three to go #technically two to go because part four is nearly finished ehehe #tw pseudo-incest #OH THERES ALSO SOME FORESHADOWING IN HERE EUEUEUEUEUEEUEUE #MARI KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

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hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years

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Author's Notes ♡: hello hello! Welcome to another BNHAREM collab! This theme of office/work au just gave me so many ideas for some other characters I’m excited! Anywhooo I enjoyed writing this fic out a lot and surprised at how long it is actually! I tried to do a bit of progress between the reader and Shinsou but it might seem a bit jumpy, it’s over the course of a few months jump betweeneach scene!I hope you guys enjoy and check out the others fics too!! ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : NSFW! Tying up (only a little?) , pet names! (Kitten slut and princess!) oral (f! receiving) and I think that’s all!

Word count : 5.5k (another big boy!)

Paring(s) : Shinsou Hitoshi x F!reader

Summary : Falling for your boss was a feat in itself, but what happens when he wants you for himself the same way you do?

Enjoy ♡

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Working as a pro heros assistant has its perks and stressors, especially when the one you work for is the spitting image and personality of the one Mr. Shouta Aizawa ; aka Eraserhead. Quiet, tired, sarcastic but a joy to be around when the two of you could be alone , his sarcastic jokes and overall tiredness with whoever bothered him who wasn't his assistant was a fun thing to hear, especially knowing how he is. Becoming his assistant came as an odd thing too, from him saying he sees how much she worked and seeing the work she was capable of was the catalyst for him asking for her name and for her to be moved to be his assistant. And that's how [ ] found herself speed walking her way to her bosses office, tea , a bottle of water and some type of sweet muffin in her one handed tray and his files in another. Trying not to drop anything as she got closer to his door she pushed the door as hard as she could with a healed foot, sighing in relief as she was able to put everything down without incident. Hearing the door creak after she entered [ ] turned around to face her violet haired boss, a lopsided smile on his face as she straightened up “ H-hello Mr.Shinsou I have everything out for your meeting ; There's the food you requested and all of your files and documents about the the next briefing mission!” Smiling at the taller male his own smirk widened as he shut his door and strolled passed her, the smell of cologne and body wash waving over her senses.

“Thank you [ ]. You always take good care of me, '' Hitoshi said as he sat at his desk and started to open up the files, sipping the tea she brought him. Trying not to let that phrase make her skin tingle with pride [ ] started to leave, letting him be him with his work [ ] headed to the door before Hitoshi looked up and saw her leaving “Oh [ ]” he called out as she turned around , crossing her hands over her skirt that rose on her legs ``Y-yes sir?” “You look pretty today, as usual.” and there it was, the usual complimenting that [ ] wasn't used to. The compliments picked up within a few months of [ ] working with Hitoshi, the two starting already with a good work relationship from the beginning to a more comfortable friendship at work balance. For some reason [ ] couldn't help but notice she was the only female around him that he acted like this with, not comments towards her other female employees, he barely spared them a look as he saw them in the halls or gave them a small answer back to their cheery comments. But when he came over to see [ ] it was a different energy, he was more friendly, he talked a bit more about things he enjoyed and even laughed some! [ ] never even noticed the difference until some of the other workers said they were happy she had joined them because she made their boss more relaxed and calm as opposed to tired and snappy. Shaking her thoughts away she noticed Hitoshi was still looking at her, head resting on his hands as he looked her over before looking at the mess of papers under him “You ordered them for me huh? What did i do to deserve such a wonderful assistant.” He said as [ ] felt the praise make her chest swell. “I try sir” , giving her another smile as he sat back in his chair. “I have another meeting this week I'd like you to sit in on. You're smart and can help me with notes on the lesson if you wouldn't mind?” opening a shut eye Hitoshi saw the confusion then joy that ran through [ ]’s eyes “I'd love to Sir! It'd be an honor to sit in and help you!” She said as he gave him a smile he was selfishly enjoying only for him “ Great. And you can call my Hitoshi [ ], no need for honorifics when we’re pretty good friends now hm?” giggling [ ] shook her head “Sure thing Hitoshi '' Ah there it was for him, the sweet sound of his name on her lips. Watching as she bowed and left he couldn't help the raging thoughts running through his head as his meetings for the day proceeded as planned.

The next few days were odd to say the least. After his meetings Hitoshi was more quiet, slipping in and out of his office without interaction or barely a glance at even his closest friends. He didn't tell [ ] what he needed, more of a list he left the night before and gave her small but barely there smiles when she brought them to him or even brought snacks as his days drained on. This was the boss shinsou she heard of , not the hitoshi she was accustomed to. One day as [ ] sat in her room across the way from her said boss she heard a call for her, someone saying that Mr.Shinsou was needing her. Nervous about what he could need from her when he's already in a bad mood she headed up to his office before knocking softly, hearing a grunt ‘Come in’ from the other side. His office was relatively dark, just the natural light coming from the gian window from behind his grand desk. And sitting at his desk was a sight to behold. There he was, long curly purple hair tousled around as his rolled up sleeves of his normal office clothes laid tightly against his forearm, the few top buttons of the dress shirt opened to reveal the hard muscles built up as a pro hero should have. A face of tiredness, irritability and overall done was evident on his features, but as soon as his eyes met [ ]’s they seemed to have life comeback to them “Ah, you got my message” He said, his voice was laced with sleep, if the darker than normal bags under them wasn't even enough. Even with his sounding half asleep [ ] couldn't help the fluttering she felt from hearing him sound more...rough around the edges than usual “Y-yes i did , seem like you're tired sir can i help with anything?” Now having the man turn fully to face her she saw the look in his eyes , an almost mischievous glint in them as he rolled his shoulders ``This might be an odd request but..mind helping me stretch? I've been keeping up with field work and in the office too but with it all I seem to be overworking my body, I'm sore all over and not getting sleep is well….doing its damage” he huffed out a laugh as [ ] tried to hide the shock and excitement of his questioning. Being that close to her boss, a man she's come to not only admire but has caught a bit of a crush on asking her for help? But she thought it over ‘ I'm his assistant , its what im paid for’

Strolling over to him she gently put her hands on his shoulders and pushed, hearing the male under her groan as he laid back into her gestures “Fuck...I knew youd be an amazing masseuse..” he grumbled under his breath as he laid father back, sliding his shoulders deepeer into her hands as [ ] tried not to let herself to be affected with her bosses words “Dont be shy [

], you can push harder on me , I won't break y'know..” Hitoshi joked as she laughed, pressing her nails into his shoulders as a sinful moan was ripped from his throat. Feeling her face heat up [ ] just rubbed the knots from his shoulders, suppressing a squeal as the sound the violet haired man made increased. Rubbing over the back of his neck and shoulders all of the main knots she felt seemed to have worked out. Softly she stepped away from him and called out “I-Im all done sir, unless you need more?” hearing him groan as he stood she was faced with dark eyes looking her over “Those little hands of yours did wonders for me sweetheart, i should have you be my physical therapist too” laughing [ ] pushed his chest and crossed over the side of his desk to the chair that was across from his “Oh please it was nothing but me trying to loosen up your muscles!” crossing his desk as well Hitoshi came behind his assistant, placing his much larger hands on her shoulders ``Well why don't I return the favor, you've been helping me with all this paperwork and now being a masseuse for me...it's the least I can do'' he whispered in her ear as she let out an involuntary whine , feeling his hands tighten with his warm breath hitting her ear. Taking his thumbs Hitoshi did the same, rolling her muscles out of being tight and wound up, but making sure to do more teasing than [ ] expected. Every so often he whispered “Is that okay?” or some type of small praise, making sure to acknowledge . He was drawing it out on purpose, making sure to move closer to her with every push, or have her whimper with a hard roll or pinch of his larger fingers. Just as she had done he pulled away , but not before rubbing up her arms and giving that same lazy smile “Well I hope i was able to compete with your expert massage” Still overwhelmed she just shook her head and agreed , letting their eyes mingle longer before the phone ringing broke the silence. Sighing Hitoshi went back to his seat, picking the line up before answering “Hello this is Mind Jack” rolling his eyes the man answered, pushing his rolling chair side to side as he was listening to whoever called. [ ] could see how tense he was starting to get, those same shoulders sinking back to their tense state as he continued to drain on with whoever was on the other side “Yeah...the back was the way they seemed to bring in other collateral. Taking a pen from his desk and scrap paper [ ] wrote ‘I can leave and get you some tea if you want it’ and slid it to the violet haired male, his eyes glancing to the paper and back to hers. Snorting he took the pen and replied ‘You're too cute. I'm fine.’ frowning she wrote back ‘But you look stressed again :(‘.

Before she could slide it to him the sound of him yelling shocked her “Well of course there's a problem , no ones keeping a proper tab on him!” Jumping slightly at his hand hitting the wooden desk [ ] covered her squeal, looking up to see the furious eyes of the intimidating man soften before he pointed to her, curling his finger for her to come closer. Hesitantly she did, getting very close before he patted a thigh, shocking the girl. Before she could question him he slid the paper back to her “im sorry :(, mind sitting down with me? Could use a different set of ears for whatever this shit he's telling me...Unless you're uncomfortable, consent is key here and i'm not an opportunist :)’ Smiling at the small note she crossed over his leg to sit in his lap, hesitantly placing her weight down before hearing the older sounding man say something “One second Shin, gotta go get some files and the line was silent. Pushing the speaker and setting the handle down on the holding phone, Hitoshi rubbed at his forehead “This is a pain….I guess the lead we hand on a drug distributor is true but no ones properly following him..I might need to leave the office to follow from higher ground” He spoke up after sensing [ ]’s eyes on his closed ones ``But you should be resting ‘toshi not overworking” [ ] said as she felt his hand wrapping around her waist “God you're too good for me woman, sometimes I wonder how I can keep my composer around such a good girl'' Straightening her back [ ] felt her face heat up , a tingle running though her spine as he continued, getting closer to her ear “Yknow, you're always on edge with me, why is that pretty girl?” Whimpering she felt his hand stroke the mesh of her stockings “Always wearing such cute little outfits...you're like a doll” holding in her breath she gasped when she felt his fingers pinch her thigh “You still didn't answer me [ ]...” Clearing her throat she spoke up “You're just a bit intimidating is all sir..hitoshi” shr admitted as he chuckled , tightening his grasp on her waist “So I intimidate you huh sweetheart?” moving his hand away he just laid back, giving [ ] rome to breathe “You can relax,, I'm used to others ebing a bit scared of me so it's not that big of a surprise.” chuckling, he continued “ You don't have to stay on me , I was just being selfish with you”

Feeling a bit sad at his wording, [ ] turned herself around to look at him, and immediately regretted it. He looked perfect, body sprawled and relaxed on the leather office chair, a similar button up, this time black , was still left open , leaving his neck opened to see. The lazy tired look he always radiates was there, being a sense of calm from him. Since he was in the office he now wore more jewelry , a set of plain titanium bands fit over his fingers. That casually was scrolling his phone. Feeling herself staring too much [ ] cleared her throat and whispered “Well I like you...so I like it up here” And that phrase snapped Hitoshi from his scrolling “What did you just say?” realizing her open thought to herself actually was heard by him she froze, starting to rise from his lap “Ah nothing just-” “[ ], what did you just say to me..” grabbing her arm before she could get far enough she was jerked back to his face. Questioning eyes stared back at the nervous and faltering ones that stared back. “I said I didn't mind being on your lap..” She said as he smirked “But why?” Looking away from his piercing stare she let out a small snort “Well because its kinda comfy” The smirk on his face turned into a grin “That's not what I heard kitten try again” Feeling the heat spread to her face she tried to pull here arm from him only for him to hold it tighter “I..didn't say anything else” clicking his tongue he got closer, putting his nose close others “You said you liked me, or maybe my own thoughts are starting to take over” “What do you mean Hitoshi..?” Flicking his eyes to hear he realized what could happen so taking in a breath he continued “If you don't say it then I will...I like you [ ], the months you've been working for me has been the best time for me...I'M selfish with you..and i want you all to myself..I'm the boss here afterwards, so no ones really gonna question if I decide to make you mines”

Gasping at his confession [ ] tried to hide her face until a hand grabbed her chin “But if I was wrong hearing what you said then..I won't push it” Letting her face and arm go he leaned back in that chair, looking at her. Sucking in her own breath [ ] looked at him and spoke “Yes, I said I liked you, and I do, I've had one since the third week here and now its been months, I enjoy being your assistant, I like being able to make you happy and I...really enjoy being around you..” Meeting his eyes again she saw his smile before he put his phone down “Well with that squared away.. Why don't you come here kitten” By dropping his voice and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt [ ] felt like she'd just opened one of the best and scariest doors she could imagine. That was, until the phone rerung. Side eyeing it Shinsou still held a hand out for her, pulling her swiftly to his lap before answering “Yes Sir?” he started again but this time his hand traveled south, rubbing up and down the back of [ ] as he listened to the man on the other side of the phone. Something he said made the boy grab her waist hard, causing her to let out a sound of discomfort. Hearing that the violet haired male looked at her before whispering a soft “Sorry” and pulling her closer. [ ] saw what he meant ; the senior officer was all over the place, no one knew where anything from the heroes’ agencies were, all the papers, notes and documents on the case seemed misplaced or missing pieces and parts.

Focused on listening to the man on the phone as well, she felt herself start to lay on his shoulder to better hear him, slightly curling up on her boss's lap. Gently a ring clad finger slid under [ ]’s shirt, the cool metal cooling off her burning skin. Still buzzing off his confession she decided to be a bit bold, jutting her hip out so he’d have a hand full of her thigh if he wanted to. Still talking to the man on the line, Shinsou threw her a look, raising a brow before taking the invitation to the now more exposed flesh. “Now Hitoshi-kun I think we could work on a few different ways to trap him, I can send some undercover men to join you in his apprehension, this is our fault for losing him and if we come up with a good enough plan we can begin to execute it!” Humming in agreement Shisou felt himself becoming distracted by his assistant who was whimpering at his ministrations, fingers tightening on his shoulder as she let him rub over her hip, down to her ass and squeezing , before with every touch going lower. “Sure sensei lets..work on some places that we could..potentially set up” feeling the ghosting lips of [ ] on his neck Shinsou slid his hand lower to cup over her cheek , a warning that he'd go lower. Pecking a spot on his neck was the push, the same ring clad fingers going between her skirt and pulling the mesh from her core, causing her to gasp out. Smirking as she got back was a kiss to her temple before he rubbed just his knuckle against her core that was starting to weep. Signing out in content she couldn't help herself, knowing that he still was on the phone with the man fumbling to write up things to fax over she grabbed the sides of his shirt to smash their lips together, a grunt falling from the violet as he groaned, dipping in to kiss her deeper until he heard his name “Hitoshi-kun?” Breathlessly he pulled away from the kiss, seeing [ ] pout as he grinned, stuffing a finger inside of the hole he made and pulled her soiled panties from her lower lips ``Ahem , yeah i'm here sir, sorry just had my assistant bring me some papers and I got distracted” Licking at his lips he continued to talk to the chief while rubbing her little bud casually talking to him as he faxed over details.

An agonizing half an hour later they were done and so was his teasing. As soon as the chief said he'd call later and they hung up [ ] was on him, trying to kiss him as he slipped his fingers out and away from the mess dripping between her legs ``Well well well, the kitten can be bold when it comes to being teased'' Letting out a high pitched whine she when to kiss him again but he moved, going for her neck. “Patience sweetheart, I'm not even gonna do anything.” Pulling her up higher on his lap and cradling her waist his lust filled eyes looked over her heaving chest and wide eyes looking at his “You okay? I didn't mean to scare you with how fast we were moving” Shinsou rasped out at her. Feeling heat creep up her neck she shook her head ``'m fine, great actually. Just very um..needy” Laughing at her words he leaned up to kiss her cheek “Well I hope you know i'm not done with you...I’ll let you finish those papers that were sent over...maybe if you be a good girl I'll give you more hm?” Teasing her Shinsou ran his lips over [ ]’s , the gap keeping them apart almost nonexistent as he licked at her lips , starting another deep kiss. Letting his fingers run over her hips he pulled her tucked shirt out more, unbuttoning the ones closest to him as [ ] did the same, not stripping themselves bare but just enough skin for the two to feel each other.

Letting one hand pull up her skirt and one wrapped around her throat Shinsou could feel the heat radiating from her clothed lower half that was runting over his straining hardon. Slowly he grabbed her hip to stop her rocking. Before pulling away from the kiss, both breathing hard against the other “H-hitoshi...you're a tease” clicking his tongue the male gave her a look “If anything you're the tease kitten, rutting against me like that..and then kissing my neck? Naughty girl you wanted my attention and now that you're getting it you wanna whine about it and beg about it not being enough. I promise i'll give you more kitten, I promise you I will...I really wanted to give you a proper date and be able to show you I don't want you as something quick and damn sure not easy.. but at this rate...I'll end up pounding you on this desk like the little brat you are until you learn how to listen [ ], who knew you'd get bratty if you're not being stuffed and begging for more” Kissing her cheek Shinsou let her sigh and start to semi get dressed to get the papers ``You still could take em on a date though…” She said softly as his eyes watched her smooth and fixed her skirt “That I will do” Laughing [ ] awkwardly tried to pull the stockings she had underneath the tiger to fix the hole he made. Watching her struggle was now Shinsous task as his assistant pulled and tugged, soon hearing another rip as she struggled “Take them off” Blinking, [ ] faced him “H-Huh?” “I said take them off, they'll be off soon anyways” Pointing to the clock he was right ; they only had a bit more left in the office before they'd be going home for the day. “O-Oh yeah..But what about-” “If you're nervous I'll walk you to your car, you don't have to worry about feeling exposed” As i f he was reading her thoughts Shinsou spoke, making [ ] feel her heart rise in her throat “Okay...well uhm thank you sir” feeling even more heat in her chest she left out and did as such, feeling the cool air of the building raised goosebumps on her skin. Sighing, she grabbed the stack of papers on the printer, starting to work on them for her teasing boss.

Sticking to his word Shinsou did walk her to her car, a pleasant conversation falling between the two “Well,” her boss started “It looks like we’ll be up to more faxing tomorrow, I’ll see what we’ll need tonight. Thanks for listening in too, oh and for my massage” Giving [ ] a smile he opened her car door for her and turned to leave before feeling a hand grab his wrist “Wait!” Looking back at her he saw how beautiful she looked ; hair a bit disheveled, shirt and skirt not as neat as it was before their little...break. “Yes [ ]?” she didn't understand it, it was like nothing happened . He was the calm and level headed boss instead of the teasing and fierce lover she had hours ago “Well...nothing, it's nothing” Knowing what she was going to ask he stepped closer, pushing her back against her car. Taking his hands and gently placing them on her hips he pushed himself impossibly closer, just until their lips were over each other “Oh don't worry that wasn't a fluke. I told you kitten, I'm not an opportunist , I wanted you to be comfortable before I even attempted to admit my feelings for you, especially in that way” Giving her a soft peck he pulled away “Goodnight [ ] i'll see you tomorrow yeah?” and with that he started to head for his own car.

The following day [ ] made it a point to dress a bit more risky. Wearing a deep v cut and slit up the thigh black dress that was still acceptable for work with a long sweater she came in early to work on all the filing that would need to be done. Hearing a rep on her door she looked up to see one of the other girls come in “Ouuu look at you, whos the lucky person?” Laughing [ ] continued to order “Ah whatever do you mean?” The girl, Mina, came closer. “All of your outfits are cute or a bit womandly but this, this is a minx in disguise , like you're gonna go on a fancy date but really worried about the desert afterwards if you catch my drift.” Laughing with her best friend [ ] shook her head “I wanted to switch it up, honest!” Giving her a questioning look Mina laughed at herself “We’ll see, I bet Mr.Shinsou will enjoy what you're wearing” Eying her pink haired friend and about to ask why she said that they heard someone else open the office floor door.

“Ah hello sir! Welcome in!” “Good Morning Mina” Oh, OH it was the man of the hour, Shinsou entering the place. As he walked by he too, was out of his usual attire; still ring cladded fingers but a more civilian look going on. Skinny black jeans and a t-shirt help reveal the mass that a pro hero could be. Sure he wasn't a super hulk but he was very well built , long hair pulled into a messy bun. Looking up she saw Mina mouthing the words “He's a hunk” and fanning her face. Waving at her and giggling she heard his office door reopen “Ah Mina, would you mind helping the lower floors until the rest of the team gets in, they seem to have messed up your guys parts. You too [ ]” The both of them looked at the papers that were supposed to come in to them and sure enough ; they had “Yeah i'll go! I know [ ] has more important papers to fill out!” Cheerfully she headed out , leaving the floor empty to her and Shinsou “[ ]” “S-sir?” Glancing up from the papers she saw him leaning over the door frame, eyes studying what he could see of her outfit through her sweater “C’mere..” was all he said as he slinked back into his office. Nervously she left the papers at her desk and headed into his, hearing the soothing jazz in the background “Shut the door too” Pushing the heavy wood until it shut she laid against it, looking at her boss who sat at his desk. “So..how's all the paperwork going?” Nodding her head she let out a soft “Good” before letting the quiet jazz fill the room. Leaning forward and taking a sip from an iced coffee he pointed to the door “You can lock it too” Sucking in a breath [ ] twisted the lock, hearing it click as the room now seemed a bit suffocating. “Whats up sir?” Sighing, Shinsou stood, stretching before he strolled over to her “ Now Kitten..didn't I say we didn't have to do honorifics..” feeling like a deer in headlights she started to move backwards until she hit her back on the door. Smirking he pushed his hand against the frame, trapping her between his arms “R-right...sorry ‘toshi” The smell of the same body wash and cologne took up her air and made her knees feel weak “That's a good girl, now come, sit and i'll show you what we’re gonna be working on” Following shakely behind her boss she saw he was messing with his capture gear behind his desk “Ah the reason i'm dressed so down today is for that very reason; we were gonna go initiate a look around for our guy..trying to see if anyone who works with or knows him is around then i'll take them in for questioning” Nodding her head [ ] fiddled with the weapon , rubbing the fabric “it's so interesting how soft it is” Flicking his wrist the fabric moved to wrap around her wrists and tightened, causing her to gasp “sorry , I couldn't help it” Stepping behind her Shinsou pushed his hips into hers and pulled her up to his chest “toshi...whatre-” “Shhhh, quiet princess..it's time to show you how I can handle you” wrapping his fist around the two straps he used the leverage to keep her tied up before he placed her on his desk. Starting a searing kiss the two of them made out on it, hips pushing into each other as shinsou drew out her sounds. Pulling away heaving the two of them smiled at the other “Fuck..can I?” Rubbing at her colthed slit and starting to bite at her neck, not knowing where to start with her he asked for permission “Y-yes please , please touch me” Smirking against her neck he sucked a few marks before moving lower to her heaving chest to leave more marks. As he got to her thighs he made a show going between them “Shit love...you just had to dress like

a little slut huh..you knew I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you..” biting at the thickest part of her inner thigh, before sucking another mark there.

Pushing her dress higher he sucked in a breath at the sight. She was wearing full laced panties, the pair thin enough to see everything she had to offer. Letting out a low whistle Shinsou kissed against the heat of her pussy, bathing in the moan of his assistant. Pulling off her panties and looking up to the heavy breathing [ ] he winked at her before sucking at her clit. A loud moan ripped from her chest as she tried to widen her legs to give him more room. Enjoying himself by making her cry , Shinsou moaned over her lower lips before sucking harshly at her sensitive bud. As pleasured whining fell and tumbled from [ ]’s lips he pulled away, stuffing a thick finger in her sopping walls. “C’mon love, let loose for me” “T-toshi! Please..” Feeling her mind get hazy with a push of a button in her walls. The coil in her stomach felt tight and rapidly getting tighter before she came, runting her hips against his fingers that continued to pump in her “Good girl..thats my sweet kitten” Overwhelmed by all the simulation [ ] looked up the the dark look of her boss who untied the ends of his capture gear. Pulling at the fabric he laid her over the desk and started to rock his tip against her sopping core. Wrapping a hand around her throat he leaned down to push their faces closer as he started to enter into her slowly. Trying to help ease the stretch Shinsou kissed her hard, shushing her loud sounds as he started to bottom out. Once he did get to bottom out the two of them sighed in content , eyes looking at each other “[ ].....I promise i'll be gentle I can't hold back anymore..you're mine you understand?” He growled out.

Clenching over him [ ] agreed, arching her back into him “Im yours Hitoshi...mark me” And with that he started a brutal pace, holding her hands with one of his own while the other held her thigh open. As the two groaned and moaned against each others lips [ ] felt herself clench hardr as another wave of an oragsm filled her mind. Seeing her tired and fucked out face filling her senses, Shinsou grinds, rubbing a pair of fingers over her clit “I'm such a close kitten.. ‘M gonna fill you up, can I?” Panting out to her he tightened his gear over her wrists as her pleasure teary eyes found his “please..inside Im on the pill its okay!” Feeling a shiver go down his spine he sped his hips up, going to fill her up as he started pumping his cum in her fluttering walls , a weak spasm was her wall's response to his fill. Letting her eyes fall shut [ ] felt shinsou breathing against her neck as her still tied hands reached to rub his back. Feeling him start to kiss her neck [ ] let out a content sigh “Hey..[ ]” he called out as she hummed “Once You recuperate we’ll go for round two...Im nowhere near done with you”

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #bnharem collab #shinsou hitoshi x reader lemon #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou smut #bnha smut #f!reader

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jojosbizarrefanfics · 3 years

Note

fun sex with kakashi? maybe reader teases him with a knowledge of icha icha paradise that he didn’t know she had? i just want him to be laughing and happy for once

oh god I LOVE this prompt for Kakashi so much 👏👏 v excited to write this one!

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late,” you said as you took your next across from Kakashi at the izakaya. You placed a hand on his shoulder as you sat and he looked up at you. You could see him smile beneath his face mask.

“Oh, you’re fine,” he said. “Everything okay?”

“Very chatty student,” you said with a chuckle. “You know how it gets.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said in understanding; there were times where he would have paid anything to shut Naruto up. “Don’t worry about it.”

Your drinks came shortly after; you had visited this place enough with Kakashi that he had your order memorized. You thanked him for being on the ball and admired his face as he slipped his mask down to take a sip of his own.

Kakashi was one of your best friends, now the Hokage. And by God, was he beautiful. You’d never told him that, of course, and now that he was Hokage you were sure you didn’t stand a chance. He could have anyone.

“What are you reading?” You asked. Kakashi answered by raising an eyebrow as he sipped his drink. “You have a book tucked beneath your arm,” you observed. “Were you reading while you waited for me?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Kakashi said. The smile that graced his face was nervous. “Nothing I haven’t read a thousand times before.”

You grinned. “A thousand times before? Can I see?”

Kakashi panicked internally but knew it would make it worse as he stopped you from reaching across your table for two. He was grateful that you were in your usual, private corner when you flipped open to wear the book was dog-earred.

“Oh, and here I was thinking you were joking around when you carried this with you everywhere,” you teased. “Ah, but you’re at my favorite part.”

Kakashi thought he was going to choke on his drink. “You have a favorite part?” He leaned forward. “You’ve read those?”

“Oh, yeah,” you said. “The next scene is so romantic, don’t you think? When he takes her to the tower and they’re looking at the stars... it’s so dreamy.”

Kakashi’s face turned red. You left out, of course, that they were looking at the stars as the main character fucked his heroine over a desk in a high tower.

“Yeah,” Kakashi said as he cleared his throat. “Romantic is one way to put it, I suppose.”

You handed him his book back. It promptly went in his lap.

“You all right?” You asked Kakashi. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said as he shifted in his seat. Kakashi was not all right, but he needed to play it cool. “Just... wasn’t expecting that from you.”

You smirked. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”

Kakashi could feel his face heating up and was grateful for the dim lighting in the bar. You still noticed his blush, but didn’t say anything. You just kept a mental note of that.

As you wrapped up your catching up and bar snacks, Kakashi said, “I know I normally walk you home, but I have to swing by the office. I left some things behind. Do you want to come with me before I walk you home?”

“Yeah, it’s a nice night anyway,” you said with a smile.

His mask was back on once you left the izakaya, and he was oddly quiet the whole way. The streets were pretty quiet as it was getting fairly late, but between your skills as a shinobi and Kakashi being the hokage, you didn’t feel anything other than safe despite the silence.

Once you got to his office, Kakashi closed and locked the door behind him. He pulled his mask down; that was odd, you thought. While you had seen his face plenty of times before whenever you’d meet at the izakaya weekly to catch up, he usually still opted to wear it when he wasn’t eating or drinking.

“I... don’t have anything I need from here, actually,” Kakashi confessed. You rose a brow at him and then, once you realized the room you were in, it dawned on you.

Kakashi saw you figuring it out on your face and he was certain you’d be mad, but you just gaped at him jokingly and said, “Kakashi! Trying to get all smooth with me, now, are you?”

Kakashi laughed nervously. “You said you thought that part was romantic. You even called it your favorite!”

You laughed and grabbed a hold of his hand. You lead him towards his desk where you had a better view out the window if you leaned against the back of it. You could see the whole village from here, with a beautiful view of the stars.

“It is lovely up here, though,” you said. You leaned your head against his arm. Kakashi smiled down at you. “Your attempt at being smooth worked.”

“If I had known you liked Icha Icha, I’d have brought you up here sooner,” Kakashi said.

“There’s a lot more to than scene than the stargazing that I like, but this is nice too,” you admitted.

Kakashi laughed. “Whoa! You don’t get to just say something like that and then drop it like it’s nothing.”

You pushed some of your hair back. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m getting at, Hatake.”

“Excuse you,” he replied with a fake gasp of offense at your attitude, “that’s Hokage to you.”

It was your turn to laugh. You decided to lay your response on thick. “Alright then, Hokage-sama.”

Kakashi’s stomach dropped at the way you said Hokage-sama. It was part playful, part sexy, and the honorific was unexpected. He couldn’t help himself any longer and kissed you. Your hands found his hair as you melted into Kakashi’s kiss, and he already knew he couldn’t get enough of the way you tugged at it.

Kakashi had struggled for a long time with his feelings. It was hard for him to get too close to anyone these days, but you made it so easy, and your weekly izakaya dates made Kakashi feel like you were his home. Kissing you felt right, he thought, and he was mad at himself for not acting on this sooner since it seemed like you were in the same boat of harboring affections.

“Do you want me to bend you over my desk so we can watch the stars?” Kakashi asked against your mouth. “It’s your favorite part of the book after all, isn’t it?”

“Will all of Konoha see us with these windows?” You asked between kisses.

“And what would they gonna do about it if they could?” Kakashi asked with a smug grin. “I’m the Hokage, after all.”

You laughed. “Well then, what are you waiting for, Hokage-sama?”

That was all Kakashi needed to start stripping you of your clothes. Your vests were first to fall forgotten to the floor, the kunai you kept in yours causing them to hit the ground with a soft clank. You and Kakashi didn’t rush your disrobing, but slowly helped each other remove your garments one by one.

“So did I totally mess up our friendship, or what?” Kakashi asked as he kissed your neck.

“Depends on how you define mess up,” you said. “If you mean ‘never be able to go into my friend’s office and look him in the eye at his desk without having to touch myself afterwords,’ then absolutely.”

He laughed pretty loudly as he cupped one of your bare breasts in his hand. “I think I can live with that. I’d like to think of you getting off to me when you’re alone, all riled up after a meeting with the Hokage. Naughty girl.”

You both giggled at his playful teasing and then Kakashi bent you over his desk. You could see the view out the window of the village and the clear night sky, just like in Icha Icha Paradise.

You felt one of Kakashi’s hands grip tightly at your ass. Meanwhile, with his free hand, he dipped two fingers into you.

“How long have you wanted this?” Kakashi asked as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out of you. “With me?”

It was hard to speak without moaning, but you managed a, “Longer than I’d care to admit.”

He sighed. “I really am a fool, huh? We could have been doing this much sooner. Hey, can you do me a favor and reach in that front left desk drawer?”

His nonchalance as he fingered you was typical Kakashi, but you managed to open it. You could safely assume the box of condoms was what he was looking for, so you fetched one for him.

“Thanks,” he said. “Iruka got me these as a joke when I became Hokage. Said he thought I might need ‘em.”

You held back a snort. “We’ll have to ask him how to perform the foresight jutsu.”

Kakashi laughed. You already missed the feeling of his fingers in you when he withdrew them to unwrap the condom, but it wasn’t long before you were filled with Kakshi’s cock. He started off slow but quickly upped the pace, landing on one when he heard you moan in a way that nearly made him cum early from how sweet the sound was.

The sensation of Kakashi filling you completely, gripping at your hips, and of your nipples rubbing against the smooth surface of his desk combined nearly sent you over the edge. What did you in was Kakashi’s deep voice moaning your name, a pleasure you only thought you’d experience in your dreams.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was convinced that you were made for each other as he felt your pussy clench in orgasm on his cock. He kept thrusting, intensifying your own orgasm the whole way.

When Kakashi came, you both stayed in that position for a moment as you caught your breath. Once he pulled out, he side-stepped to help you stand. Your legs were a bit wobbly, but Kakashi had you in his arms as you stood. He dumped the condom in the nearest trash bin and was quick to walk back to you.

“I’ll clean this up in the morning,” he said as he referenced his desk’s messy state. You helped each other get dressed and along the way, Kakashi would sneak kisses on your cheek here and there.

Your walk home was as quiet as your walk to his office was, except now Kakashi was holding your hand. When you reached your home, you broke the silence.

“Do you wanna stay the night?”

Kakashi nodded. “I’d like that.”

#hatake kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi x reader #Kakashi smut #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fanfiction #female reader

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shuttershocky · 3 years

Note

"Deathless Black Snake...Are you afraid?" - In which we see why Terra's greatest champion wanted to crush a fourteen year old's skull. Unholy fuck.

What I've always loved about Amiya is that Arknights never leaned too hard on either babby or Kid-in-bio-only hypercompetent adult typing. While I'm very soft on small and cute baby characters (and conversely not a fan of characters being aged 14 but looking and acting like they're 28), Amiya being an actual leader with a startling amount of emotional intelligence while also still being a literal child is what makes the her narrative so effective.

Of course she's professional, of course she's actually able to manage a company and even lead a squad through a warzone, her superpower is literally empathy. Communication and understanding is her forte. She's able to think beyond just herself in a way no normal teenager can because her mind is constantly receiving information about people's feelings, and sometimes even their memories. She can negotiate with politicians, manage a company with hundreds of employees, and even lead squads of soldiers against an enemy—all because she is able to discern what the other party wants, how they would react to various emotional stimuli, and how much they are willing to compromise. With ceaseless social and leadership training from Kal'tsit, it was practically impossible for Amiya NOT to be the best of the best at her job.

At the same time though, every other scene is a reminder that she's too young to have even hit her growth spurt. She's shorter than most of the cast, small enough that Blaze sometimes picks her up and throws her into the air like a parent with a baby. She hates being treated like a child instead of an adult, yet she drops her sophisticated airs and diction and talks like a little kid when it's just her with the Doctor and Kal'tsit. She even has trouble dropping formal honorifics when asked to simply because everyone's older than her and she does it on instinct.

That's why when the story contrasts her idealism with the shocking reveals of who she is, who she represents, it never feels jarring. We always see her juggling both her professional self with her child self, so when we see her childlike optimism—her belief in a better world where everyone can understand each other as well as she can understand them—be pit against her identity as the Lord of Fiends—king of an oppressed and bitter people, prophesied to finally unleash their vengeance upon the world—it works narratively. I'm not left feeling like there's a wild tonal shift or that they don't know what they want to do with Amiya. I know exactly what they want to do: create some good ol' tragedy by heaping the world on to a little girl that you know can handle it, but really, really shouldn't have to.

I love this scene because as much of a big hero moment it is to confront a godlike evil and create a sword made from magic, this isn't right. Neither Kal'tsit nor Doctor are there, and while Amiya synchronizes with Ch'en in order to copy her sword and techniques, she still has to channel a specific emotion in order to complete the process. What she decides to use in the end is grief.

Her mind flashes through several memories, before retrieving the memories of a Sarkaz warrior from long ago, raging at the injustice and oppression his people suffered for no reason other than being born Sarkaz. The warrior howls and curses at the world, but it isn't hatred coursing through his veins; grief is. Agonizing, maddening grief. The Sarkaz warrior then takes up their sword, (which is the part of the memory that likely allows Amiya to form Ch'en's Chi Xiao in her mind), then strikes down all the oathbreakers who had destroyed the peace. Then, the Sarkaz Warrior kills himself, and Amiya creates the sword from rage, finally showing what Kal'tsit meant when she said "Amiya experiences an unbelievable amount of trauma, far too much for a single person to bear."

That's fucking horrifying.

At the very start of Chapter 8, Amiya is offended by an operator calling Rosmontis "Rhodes Island's greatest weapon", because weapons are just tools made for the sole purpose of hurting others. They cannot think for themselves, they cannot be made to understand others, they cannot feel the pain that comes with hurting someone else. Amiya tells Kal'tsit "I am not a weapon", because no matter how dangerous her powers may be, she is not a tool to hurt someone. She will never act with the intention of hurting anyone. She is the leader of a mobile hospital, and that person should never have the mentality that their being is a weapon.

Some distance away however, Kal'tsit has this conversation with the Doctor. "No matter the motive, what we are doing is doing harm." You can't avoid hurting someone during conflict. You can't be a neutral party in a time of war.

Amiya knows this. She's fought before. She's killed before. But nothing really makes it hit home quite like seeing how she uses her powers.

Yes, it's an Emiya moment. Confronting an undying being that caused so much suffering and survives through the hatred of all peoples, Amiya reaches into her own rage and pulls out a sword. No one is there to help her but the woman she's synchronizing with. You cannot ask for a better time to become a hero of justice.

It's also a great tragedy.

She is a child. She is an idealist. She is a negotiator. She believes that people can be made to understand each other, that violence can become a thing of the past.

She is not a weapon.

But a sword only does one thing.

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euphoricsunflowers · 3 years

Text

care — monsta x

request: how do you think our boys would take care of and reassure their dom? like, with a domdrop situation, when you're feeling drained or maybe even guilty :'(

a/n: sorry if these seem kind of repetitive but i hope you like them!!! all gifs are by @imnameimss !!

word count: 2.0

content: sub!monsta x, dom!gn!reader, no smut except for the beginning of wonho’s part, usage of safewords (minhyuk and changkyun), lots of mentions and depictions of aftercare obviously, lots of bad feels on the reader’s part obviously

disclaimer: legit just please take care of your partners, whether dom or sub. remember that everyone deserves the ability to use a safeword if they need/want to and everyone deserves aftercare.

—

son hyunwoo/shownu:

he usually doesn’t start or initiate anything, letting you be the one to do it, which is helpful when you don’t want to do anything. he’s not forceful nor do you have to shut down any advances because he’s just not vocal about it when he wants it. you’ve gotten good at spotting when he’s horny, so that’s not even an issue anymore.

but if anything, hyunwoo is attentive. he noticed something was off immediately, even before you had said a word, that this wasn’t just an off day where you were just tired.

“y/n?” you hear him murmur with concern laced in his voice, “is everything- are you okay?”

“what?” you finally meet his eyes, and his heart breaks just a bit, seeing all those bad feelings you’re holding back, “i- yeah, i’m fine, woo. just a bad day.”

“i don’t think is just a bad day, baby,” he reaches out to hold your hand, and you take it hesitantly, letting him pull you a bit closer, “can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

“i’m- am i a bad person?” you blurt out, before backtracking, “and like, don’t lie to make me feel better, but am i a bad person for the things i fantasize about? i mean like, i get pleasure from hurting you! that can’t be good, i must be-”

“honey,” he whispers as he uses his free hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb soothingly, and you realize just how loud you’ve been getting, “you’re not a bad person. a bad person wouldn’t care if they were bad, and they definitely wouldn’t care about me as much as you do. you’re incredible, y/n,” he smiles sadly, “now how about we make some adjustments to our aftercare routine so this doesn’t happen again, okay?”

lee hoseok/wonho:

completely opposite from shownu, wonho is always needy and has no problems initiating, but he’s also incredibly attentive and notices something is wrong rather quickly.

“on your knees, baby,” you murmur, and right away he slides off the bed to fall to his knees, maybe bruising them a bit, but he knows you love to see him bruised up and he’s happy to make his body your canvas. he sits obediently, waiting for his next command, but he doesn’t get it. instead, you just run your fingers through his hair with a distant look on your face.

he knows in a normal situation he should stay silent, but he decides that this isn’t a right situation, “y/n? is- is everything okay?”

you snap out of your daze, “i- yeah, i’m fine. can we… not do this today, though? i’m sorry.”

“of course! that’s okay! do you… wanna talk about it?” he asks as he stands up, climbing back into bed next to you.

you sigh as he pulls you closer, holding you against his chest, “just feeling kinda icky? i’ve been feeling bad about domming for a few days, i guess i can’t hold it in anymore. can you, uhm, can you say nice things? about me?”

he tries to hold in the ‘you should have told me!’ speech that he can feel already coursing through his body because he can tell it’s not what you need nor want, “you’re the most amazing, baby, the most beautiful, the sweetest, the kindest, most loving, you’re my everything, y/n. i love you.”

“i love you too, bunny. thank you.”

lee minhyuk:

he seems like he’d be oblivious, but in fact he’s probably the most attentive to any changes in your mood whether they be sudden or gradual.

and in the moment, where that sudden “what the fuck am i doing?” realization hits you, he spots it immediately. it’s obvious in the shift from that intensely focused and amused look in your eyes to a much more nervous one. it’s obvious in the way you don’t continue your movements, both leaving him physically tense and frustrated but mentally worried out of his mind, “y/n,” he mumbles. not your title or honorific, but just your name.

“i- yeah? what is it, min?” you stutter, but the facade crumbles quickly.

“red,” he whispers like it’s a forbidden word, but it’s for your sake and not his, so there’s no hesitation in his words.

“oh fuck, i’m sorry, min, here let me-”

“wait! listen to me,” he stops you from getting off of him, pulling you close instead, “i’m fine. i’m okay and i feel good and i liked what you were doing. you’re okay, you’re not a monster, you’re not a bad person.”

you don’t ever need to tell him what’s going on in order for him to know exactly the words to say, “really? you’re- you’re okay? then why did you-”

“you needed the scene to stop,” he says, “how about you let me take care of us today? i can clean up, and we can lay in bed for a few hours and cuddle, alright?” you shake your head, trying once again to get off of time, but you should have known that once minhyuk has you in his arms, you’re not getting out, “y/n, sweetie, you always take care of me, and we’ve both failed to meet your needs this time. c’mon, let me at least try and help you feel better, please?”

yoo kihyun:

kihyun makes it a point that you both talk about your feelings constantly regarding the dynamic and before and after scenes, mostly because he had experienced a lot of sub drop over the course of your relationship when he kept trying to hide any bad feelings. so because he expects full honesty from himself, he expects the same from you.

all the bad feelings come to a head when you give in and decide to talk about them, “ki?” you murmur to him next to you, and he hums in response, “can you come here?”

he finally looks up, almost worried he had done something wrong before he sees the melancholic look on your face. he comes close to you, enough for you to pull him in, hold him with every fiber of your being, “honey, what’s wrong?”

you try to be straightforward and honest, just like how he tries to be, “i’ve been feeling bad since yesterday about what i said, about liking it when you cry.”

“are you worried about how i felt about it? or do you feel like a bad person because of it?”

you sigh, “kind of both.”

“first of all, i thought that it was incredibly hot in the moment, so don’t worry at all about that first bit,” he chuckles half-heartedly, holding you tightly against himself in return, “and secondly, you’re not a bad person for enjoying that. you knew i was consenting and we talked about everything beforehand. you didn’t do anything i didn’t want.”

“you’re sure?”

“i wouldn’t lie to you, y/n. i’m sure. now what can i do after a scene to help you feel good? obviously i might need more attention physically, but aftercare is for you too.”

chae hyungwon:

hyungwon is caring in his own little, quiet way. in the way he’ll take care of chores for you or press a kiss to your forehead even as you’re asleep when he leaves or in the way he’ll notice you’re having a bad day and silently ask to hug and hold you until you feel better. he’s quietly caring.

and it’s the same now. he’s silent unless you ask him to talk, holding you quietly as you both sit on the bed, “i’m sorry, wonnie.”

“don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. just talk to me.”

“i’m so tired,” you groan, feeling his touch on your shoulder to keep you grounded, “i just feel so constantly paranoid that this isn’t what you want and i’m really just hurting you and you don’t actually want this, you’re just saying you do for my sake-”

“y/n,” he whispers, brining you attention back to him, “i have clear hard limits for a reason, and you’ve always respected them. i get that you’re trying to attentive to what i want, but i need you to trust and believe me. anything i let you do or ask you to do to me is something i want. you’re okay.”

“i’m okay, okay, just- just keep holding me. and- and keep reassuring me, please, i need to hear it,” you feel him adjust as you speak, lying down and pulling you to rest against his chest.

“of course, i’ll say those words until my lips are blue.”

lee jooheon:

he’s an angel, if a bit dense, that only wants the best for you both. so it takes him a moment to catch what’s going on, especially because he was incredibly needy for you but he can never stand to see you this messed up yet trying to keep it together.

“baby!” he calls out, hoping to catch your attention, but you’re too into your phone to look at him, “please, y/n, i’m so needy for you. i want to be all yours. so take me please, please don’t ignore me-”

“joo, please leave me be, i want to be alone,” you whisper, but your shaky voice worries him more than your words confuse and upset him.

“darling, talk to me, please,” he pleads, resting his head in your lap in order to make you look at him, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“i just- i feel bad, okay? i don’t want this right now,” you try to keep your voice still, but it’s in vain, “fuck, jooheon, i don’t want to do this right now, okay?”

“i wasn’t- i wasn’t pressuring you into doing anything! i’m just worried about you!”

“well i just- the idea of what… i normally do today, makes me feel icky, you know?” you feel him wrap his arms around you in a weird sort of cuddle position, “i’m sorry.”

he shakes his head cutely, and you run your fingers through his hair sweetly, “don’t be, let’s just lie here till you feel better. i love you, y/n, i love you so much.”

im changkyun/i.m:

in the moment he says the safeword, changkyun isn’t focused on you, and you’re not focused on you. you’re focused on taking care of him, getting him in a more comfortable position, and asking what happened. you’re not thinking about yourself as you comfort him and lull him to sleep, and you don’t think about yourself until long past he’s fallen asleep.

but then you do think about yourself. it’s so worrying to hear the word in the moment, but once the adrenaline wears off and all there is is the stifulling and suffocating fear of ever doing that again and the cruel shame that it even happened this one time is enough to wreck any chance of falling asleep together you might have.

you sit in the kitchen, drinking a cup of water, when a grumpy and tired changkyun walks out of the bedroom and clings to your back, “why are you out of bed?”

“i wasn’t feeling good, honey. go lie down, i’ll be back soon,” you murmur hushedly, but he doesn’t leave you be.

“please don’t feel bad about earlier. it wasn’t your fault that it was too much for me.”

“baby, it kind of is. i shouldn’t have pushed you that far, and now i just, i don’t feel good. i can't- i can’t sleep. i don’t even want to look at you because i’m too afraid to face it.”

“then don’t look at me, it’s dark anyway. just listen to my voice, let me try to soothe you, okay? we can talk about what happened and how it’ll be handled later on in the morning. for now, let’s go back to bed. do you want me to sing a little bit for you to lull you to sleep?”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @maknaeronix @multidreams-and-desires @foenixs @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @rosiethefairy and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3

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thisbeatchachinglikemoney · 3 years

Text

Give It To Me

Part 5 of the Boys with Luv series

Pairing: Yoongi, Jimin and two other mystery guests x reader, Yoongi, Jimin and two other mystery guests x Yoongi, Jimin and two other mystery guests

Summary: Y/N realises that maybe Yoongi isn’t her only soulmate...

Warnings: Smut, swearing, dodgy writing by my overly tired ass

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @fic-recs-by-moon, @luvtaeha, @aretha170, @xicanacorpse, @kookieebangtan, @fangirl125reader, @seoul9711, @channiespup, @lindsayjoy444

AN: This is kind of a filler chapter, which I wrote while I was kind of tired, which is why the beginning is a bit strange, but the next chapter shit is going to go down! If any of you would like to be added to the taglist, just let me know and I will add you :)

Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Jimin POV:

Yoongi hyung unlocked the front door of his apartment and pushed open the door, allowing me to enter. I quickly took off my shoes and coat before moving into the living room, excitement rushing through my veins.

“Jagi?” Yoongi called as he joined me, seeing she was not there. He sat down on the sofa, pulling me down next to me. And that was when I saw her. She appeared from the kitchen, sipping some iced coffee.

“Oh, you’re back!” She said, moving towards us. She and I made eye contact and that’s when it happened. My vision was flooded with every shade of every colour of the rainbow. I gasped quietly, making Yoongi look at me in surprise.

“I can see colour.” I said quietly as she set her glass down on the coffee table and sat down on the other side of Yoongi.

“How?” Yoongi asked, wrapping his arm around Y/N’s waist to hug her.

“I just looked at Y/N and then, bam, colour!” I said, making Y/N frown in surprise.

“Is that possible?” She asked, looking at the two of us. She was so pretty. Her hair was a beautiful shade of Y/H/C, which accentuated her face perfectly and made her Y/E/C eyes pop.

“I don’t know.” Yoongi said, with a shrug. He picked up his phone and typed our question into the searchbar. He scrolled through some search results until he clicked on one. “Here we go.” He read, his eyebrows furrowing as he read. “Although it is extremely rare, it is possible for one person to have multiple soulmates. This is usually two soulmates, but the more there are, the rarer it becomes. It usually happens when the soulmates in question are extremely close with each other, however, this can be extremely hard to achieve.”

I looked between the two of them, a smile slowly making it’s way onto my face. “So we are all soulmates?”

“Seems like it.” Y/N smiled.

“That’s cool, but Jimin, you know the rules, don’t you?” Yoongi said, looking at me carefully. I knew exactly what he was referring to. The rules that we had collectively made for subs. He was telling me that he was the main person in charge in the relationship, which I was fine with.

“Yes, hyung.” I nodded, making Y/N look between us in confusion.

“What rules, oppa?” She asked, looking at Yoongi.

“I can tell you now, but it depends how comfortable you are with sex.” He said, looking at her, his eyes searching her face worriedly. I knew it was something to do with her ex, but seeing her now really made it hit home for me. How could someone do that to her? She looked at me carefully, silently speaking to Yoongi with her facial expressions. “He already knows about your ex, I told him on the way here, is that okay?”

“That’s fine, oppa. And I’m comfortable with it. I trust you, and I think I trust Jimin, so I’ll be fine to talk about it with you and maybe do stuff. That part I’m not too sure about.” She said, making us both nod.

“Okay, princess, do you think you are a sub or a dom?” Yoongi asked, making her blink in surprise. I could tell she wasn’t really sure - she probably hadn’t been in a situation where that would have arisen.

“I-I don’t know.” She stuttered, looking between us.

“Do you like being told what do during sex, or making people do what you want during sex?” I asked. As I spoke a look of understanding flushed across her face.

She blushed before she spoke. “I like being told what to do.” She said quietly. “Does that make me a sub?” I chuckled. She was so innocent, which I found cute.

“You’re so innocent jagiya.” Yoongi said, smiling his gummy smile. She whined and pouted, burying her face in his neck.

“Don’t embarrass her, hyung!” I said, rubbing her arm gently. “It’s okay that’s she’s innocent. I think it’s cute.”

“Thank you, Jimin.” She said, her voice muffled by Yoongi’s neck.

“Y/N, when were you born?” I asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.” I wanted to know whether or not she was older than me, so we could use the right honorifics.

“I was born August 13th 1998.” Y/N replied. So she was younger than me.

“So I guess you have to call me oppa.” I said with a smirk, making her giggle.

“I guess I would have to call all of you oppa.” She corrected. “Although, that is if the others like me. Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok all appear to hate me. I don’t know about Seokjin and Jungkook.”

“Is that true, hyung?” I asked, looking at Yoongi. I really hoped this wasn’t true - how could they hate someone like Y/N? I hadn’t really properly met her yet, but she seemed sweet and kind and caring, especially if she could make Yoongi produce his gummy smile like that.

“I think so. Taehyung and Namjoon were basically glaring at her while we were at the mall yesterday.” He replied.

“That’s not right.” I frowned.

“I know.” Yoongi agreed. “It’s ridiculous, especially over something that no one can control.”

“That must have been why they didn’t want me to come over.” I theorised, making Yoongi nod and hum. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by a knocking on the door.

“I’ll get it.” Yoongi said, standing up. “It’s the pizza guy, right?”

“Yeah. I already payed.” Y/N said. She turned to face me as Yoongi left the room. “So...” She trailed off, curling her feet up underneath her.

“Can I kiss you?” I blurted out, making her giggle and blush.

“You don’t have to ask.” She said, scooting across so she was closer to me. I leaned forward and connected our lips. She tasted of cherries and coffee. I pulled her onto my lap so she was straddling me, her small feet on either side of my legs. I deepened the kiss, her allowing me to put my tongue inside her mouth. I could feel how much she trusted me in the kiss. We pulled away for air, me taking her bottom lip between my teeth and pulling gently before letting go. She giggled and ran her fingers through my hair.

“It’s so soft.” She commented. “And really floppy.” She pushed some of it so it covered my eyes. I playfully growled at her, making her giggle. “Jiminie oppa?” She asked.

“Yeah, princess?” I replied, holding onto her waist.

“How did you and Yoongi and the rest of BTS become boyfriends?” She asked.

“Well, that’s a long story.” I said. “But it’s easier if Yoongi starts it because it was him and Taehyung that initiated the whole thing.” As I said this, a look of understanding and realisation flooded across her face. “What?”

“That’s why Taehyung hates me.” She said. “Because he thinks I’m taking Yoongi away from him.”

As she said this, I thought that this was maybe the reason. But I had never known Taehyung to be jealous. “Maybe, princess, maybe.” I pulled her against me and picked up the TV remote. “What shall we watch?” I asked, opening Yoongi’s Netflix, smiling when I saw she had added her name onto it. I clicked on her profile, smiling when I saw her continue watching, spotting she had been watching some Naruto. It made me think back to when Hoseok hyung and I sang the theme tune in one of the Run BTS episodes.

“Can we watch Inception?” She asked.

“Of course princess.” I said, rubbing our noses together. I frowned when I realised that Yoongi hyung still wasn’t back with our food. “What’s taking Yoongi hyung so long?”

“I don’t know” She said softly, leaning against my chest. “Should we go and check on him?”

“Yoongi hyung? You okay?” I called in the direction of the front door.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second, okay babies.” Yoongi yelled back, making me frown slightly. It didn’t take anyone that long to take pizza from the delivery guy. But I ignored it.

“Okay, we’re starting the movie without you!” I yelled as Y/N got comfortable on my lap. “We’re watching Inception, by the way.” I began to type the name in the search bar when we heard multiple voices and footsteps coming from the front door. Y/N turned and frowned in confusion. “Who’s here with you, hyung?”

“Jin hyung and Kookie.” Yoongi replied as he came into the living room. Y/N’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Hello,” She said, standing up and bowing. Jin and Jungkook both bowed. They both froze as they straightened up, locking eyes with Y/N.

“How is that possible?” Jin whispered as he slowly approached her.

“How is what possible?” I asked, pulling Y/N back down onto my lap, making her yelp in surprise.

“I can see colours.” Jin said, kneeling down in front of Y/N. “Hey, sweetheart, I guess I’m also your soulmate.”

“And I guess me too, gorgeous.” Jungkook said, sitting down next to me and slinging his arm across my shoulder. She looked between the two and then at me.

“This is not going to end well.” She murmured.

“What do you mean?” Jin asked as he sat down next to Jungkook, pulling him onto his lap.

“Basically, it is quite possible that Taehyung, Namjoon and Hoseok all hate her.” Yoongi said as he came back, pizza balanced on top of a stack of plates. “And it is possible for someone to have multiple soulmates - it happens if the soulmates are all really close.” He explained briefly. He took out two slices of the pizza and handed them to Y/N on a plate. “Here you go princess.”

“Thank you oppa.” She said, taking the plate and resting it on her lap. “And it’s very likely that that hatred is going to get even more intense when they realise that the majority of their boyfriends are my soulmates.” Her phone buzzed, making her glance at it, seeing a tweet from Taehyung. I read it over her shoulder.

“Looks like they aren’t too bothered about us three being here.” I said, seeing the selfie Taehyung had posted with Namjoon and Hoseok, and the caption, which said ‘movie night with my favourite hyungs’. I showed the others the phone, making them wince.

“Harsh.” Jin said as Yoongi sat down on the other side of me so I was in between them. He took a bite of the pizza, letting the rest of us eat as the oldest would always have the first bite. He turned to Y/N. “So, sweetheart, tell us about yourself.”

“Umm...” She looked at Yoongi as if she was trying to decipher whether she could trust them and tell them her entire story. He nodded. “Okay, so...” She took a deep breath. I could feel her heart hammering at a thousand times a minute. “Yoongi and I met in the park that’s by the BigHit building.” She began. “I was there because I had just left my boyfriend and had nowhere to stay, so I was going to sleep in the park and try not to get hypothermia.

“My ex was abusive. Physically, verbally and mentally. He took away my friends and my career. I didn’t have a car. I had a phone where he could monitor all my phone calls and see all my texts. I could only have supervised chats and visits with my mother. If I had the smallest slip up he would beat me up. I ended up in hospital one time because of how much and how hard he beat me. I got to a place so dark and so low that I resorted to cutting myself to feel something. Then he found out.

“You would think that he would be caring about it, and would try to help me, but he told me that I deserved it and I should continue and that if I was lucky enough I would cut deep enough that it would kill me. He was awful. He would come home drunk at night and most nights he would just fall asleep, but there were some nights where he wouldn’t be drunk enough to be tired, he was just angry, so he would call me names and hit me with his belt and his fists. That’s what he was doing the night I ran away.” She finished, tears rolling down her face.

“Jagiya, come here.” Yoongi stood up and pulled her into his arms, pressing kisses to her hair and whispering things to her to calm him down.

“Yoongi, what have you done about him?” Jin asked as Jungkook moved off his lap and snuggled into my side, his head on my shoulder.

“I’ve hired her a bodyguard for when she goes out, and we’ve changed her phone and her number so he won’t be able to track her.” Yoongi said as he rubbed Y/N’s back to calm her down.

“What did Tae and Namjoon say about her?” Jin asked. I saw Y/N visibly freeze as he asked this.

“Taehyung wanted me to reject and I’m pretty sure Namjoon feels the same. Same with Hoseok, he doesn’t seem much of a fan.” Yoongi explained.

“It’s not her fault though.” Jungkook said softly, making Yoongi nod and hum in agreement.

“There’s nothing we can do about them, though.” Yoongi said. “They need to come around in their own time.” He shuffled over to the couch with Y/N still in his arms before sitting down next to me, settling her on his lap. “But let’s not dwell on that now. Let’s have a better movie night than they are!”

Y/N POV:

As we watched the movie I found myself wrapped up in Yoongi’s arms as I lay across his lap. He had his arms around my waist while my legs rested on Jin and my head on Jimin. Jungkook was threading his fingers through my hair. I yawned and rubbed my eyes as the movie ended, making Yoongi coo at me.

I was still in a state of shock at how Jin, Jimin and Jungkook were okay with being soulmates with me, and how quickly they fell into the roll of being my boyfriends. I was also still surprised at how I had managed to get four soulmates. I never thought that would happen to me.

“Oppa.” I said softly, making all four of them hum, letting me know I had their attention. “Can we go to bed now please? I’m tired.”

“Of course, jagiya.” Yoongi said, his voice husky since he was also half asleep. He tapped my ass. “Come on, you need to get up so everyone else can get up.”

“But I’m comfy.” I complained with a pout, making Yoongi chuckle. I felt Jimin’s weight shift slightly as Jungkook got up.

“I’ve got her.” He said, kneeling down in front of me. “Can I...?” He trailed off, asking if he could pick me up. I nodded in consent. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and one around my knees, picking me up bridal style. “Are we all going to sleep in the same bed?”

“Yeah?” Jimin said as he stood up and stretched, a sliver of his tan skin showing between his tshirt and the band of his jeans. His bones cracked as he stretched out the kinks and cramps in his muscles. He looked at me and I nodded, nestling against Jungkook’s chest. He smelled faintly of lemon and a fresh aftershave.

“Alright gorgeous.” Jungkook walked us to Yoongi’s bedroom before setting me in the centre of the bed. “You need to change?” He asked. I looked down at what I was wearing. I had only changed my shirt to another one of Yoongi’s during the day, so I didn’t need to. I slipped off my sweatpants, leaving my legs bare, with only my panties under the shirt.

“Nope.” I said, with a sleepy smile. Jungkook was staring at my legs, a look of shock on his face. “What’s wrong?” I asked, starting to feel slightly insecure under his stares.

“Nothing.” He said. “You just have fucking beautiful legs.” He smiled as I blushed, relief flooding through me. He pulled off his hoodie and sweatpants, leaving him in just his boxers. Now it was my turn to stare. He was everything I imagined him to be and more.

His biceps were huge, as well as his pecs. He had slightly defined abs as well as a prominent v line which disappeared underneath the grey waistband of his Calvin Klein boxers. There was a faint bulge underneath the grey material, which had me licking my lips, wondering exactly what it looked like.

“You done staring gorgeous?” He asked, a slight blush dusted over his cheeks. I cleared my throat, blushing harder.

“Sorry.” I said, ducking my head in embarrassment, before flopping back against the pillows. He chuckled and laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. I turned my head to face him. “You have nice muscles.” I commented, making him give me a bunny smile. “Ahh, I like this smile.”

“Gorgeous?” He asked after we were silent for a few more seconds. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” I said, my voice barely a whisper as our lips get closer. He paused just before our lips touched, the skin barely brushing against each other. “Kookie oppa. Kiss me please!” I whined, making him chuckle and kiss me gently. I turned so we were properly facing each other, not disconnecting our lips. He tasted of his strawberry lipbalm as well as the pizza we had just eaten. His lips were slightly thinner than Jimin’s and Yoongi’s, but this boy could kiss.

“God gorgeous.” He groaned as we pulled away. “You’re good.”

“Well that was hot.” Jimin said, making us quickly sit up. “Princess, I think you have to give all of us goodnight kisses.” He pulled off his tshirt and slid out of his jeans before crawling onto the bed and sitting down next to me, connecting our lips into a kiss. I felt Jungkook’s lips attach onto my neck as he kissed and sucked, making an involuntary moan slip out from my lips. “God you sound so pretty.” Jimin groaned against my mouth. I could feel his breath fanning against my lips.

“Jimin please.” I said, feeling heat begin to curl in my lower abdomen. I needed them. I wanted them and I wasn’t afraid to admit it.

“Are you sure princess? If you’re not comfortable then we won’t.” Jimin said, stroking my hair as Jungkook’s hands reached up and started playing with my boobs, twisting and pinching the nipples, making my breath become ragged and uneven.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life. Jimin please fuck me.” I shouted in frustration.

“He’s not going to be the only one fucking you.” Jin said from the doorway where he was leaning against the jamb with Yoongi on the other side.

“Look at our little subs playing with each other.” Yoongi cooed. “So pretty and ready for us. So ready for master and oppa.” I felt my pussy get even more wet as he said those names, soaking my panties.

“Please master.” Jimin said, his swollen lips parting. I could see how hard he was through his boxers. Yoongi took off his top and jeans before kneeling on the bed, hovering over Jimin and I while Jin took care of Jungkook. It wasn’t long before I heard his breathy whines and moans. I looked over to the side and saw Jin palming Jungkook through his boxers while he kissed and sucked down his neck and chest.

“Look at me kittens.” Yoongi said, his voice dominating and demanding, making me even more wet. “So pretty.” He cooed, cupping my face and kissing me gently. His hand reached over and traced its way down Jimin’s chest before ghosting over his dick.

“Master.” Jimin gasped, his voice barely a whisper.

“So responsive kitten.” Yoongi smirked. “Take off your boxers and prep yourself. But don’t cum.” A shiver ran down my spine at the way his voice sounded. Jimin nodded as Yoongi moved off him to just hover over me. He slid off his boxers, raising his hips slightly before grabbing some lube from the bedside table and pouring some on his fingers. He moved his fingers down to his ass, tracing the tips over his hole before pushing one in, his mouth falling open to form an ‘o’.

“Eyes on me kitten.” Yoongi said as he began to push my shirt up my body. “Are you comfortable with this?” I nodded my head frantically. “Okay, take it off for me.” I pulled my shirt off before getting self conscious and moving my arms in front of my stomach.. “No bra? Naughty girl.” He smirked, leaning down and taking one of my nipples into his mouth after removing my hands. “You’re so beautiful jagiya.” He released my nipple with a pop to pay attention to the other one, his tongue swirling around it, teeth gently nibbling.

“Yoongi...” I moaned out as hot whorls of pleasure curled in the pit of my stomach.

“Now, jagiya, you know that’s not my name.” He said, pulling off my nipple. He moved down to lie between my legs. “These are cute.” He said fiddling with the pink lace on the waistband of my panties. “But they’d look better on the floor.” He pulled them off, my face turning red. I had shaved in the shower that morning, but I was scared I had left some stray hairs. “And you even shaved.” He pressed a kiss to the folds of my pussy. “Such a pretty pussy. Bet it tastes so good.” He looked up at me for permission. I nodded, allowing him to eat me out.

His tongue slipped past my folds and slid around my hole and clit. His lips wrapped around the bundle of nerves, sucking on it, making me moan out. “So fucking wet.” He murmured as he pulled away, his chin already shining. He began kitten licking between my folds, making slurping sounds. He pushed his tongue inside my hole, the wet muscle licking at my walls, sending white hot shots of pleasure through my veins. I moaned out, my hands winding in his hair and pulling slightly.

“Jiminie, kitty, come here.” Yoongi said. Jimin slid over to us after pulling his fingers out of his ass. “How many were you?”

“Three master.” He replied. I glanced down at Jimin’s dick, seeing how thick it was. He seemed to be shorter than Jungkook, but just as thick. My pussy clenched around nothing as I imagined it in me.

“Jin hyung?” Yoongi turned to loook at Jin and Jungkook. Jin was currently eating Jungkook out while thrusting into his ass with his fingers, making Jungkook throw his head back in pleasure.

“Yes Yoongi.” Jin asked, pulling away from Jungkook.

“Is he ready?” He asked, making Jin nod. Yoongi nodded before pushing a finger into me to open me up. “Fuck you’re so tight. How are you going to be able to fit any of our cocks in this little pussy?” He groaned slipping in another finger. I winced slightly at the burn. It had been a while since I had had sex with anyone. He began scissoring his fingers, brushing against a sensitive spot inside me.

“Ah fuck.” I moaned out, making him smirk.

“Found it.” He said, curling his fingers to press against that spot, making me cry out. “Okay, you’re ready.” He said as he pushed his fingers into Jimin’s mouth. “How does kitten taste, kitty?” He asked as Jimin moaned around his fingers and sucked on them.

“So good.” Jimin moaned out, making me blush again.

“So this is what is going to happen.” Yoongi said as he pulled his fingers out of Jimin’s mouth. “Kitty is going to ride kitten while he gets fucked by bunny who is going to get fucked by me. Jinnie is going to have his cock sucked by kitten, is everyone okay with that?” We all nodded before getting into our positions.

Jimin lay flat on his back, his cock dripping onto his stomach. “Do we need condoms?” He asked. I shook my head.

“I’m on the pill.” I replied, making him close his eyes and groan.

“God you’re going to be the death of me.” He said as I lowered myself onto him. There was a burning stretch as he sheathed inside of me. He looked at me and smirked. “I didn’t think I was that big.” He rested his hand on the small bulge in my stomach. I rolled my hips to get used to the feeling of him inside of me, making him moan out. “God she’s so tight master.” He said breathily.

“Okay Jiminie, I’m going in.” Jungkook warned as he pushed himself into Jimin. There was a sharp intake of breath as Jimin got used to the feeling of having Jungkook inside of him.

“Ah fuck Kookie.” Jimin moaned out, his grip tightening on my waist. He looked spaced out as he adjusted to the cock inside him. “God it feels so good.”

“No moving yet you three.” Yoongi warned as he kissed Jin, removing his boxers and stroking him a few times. “Okay, kitten, you gonna suck oppa’s cock?” He asked.

“Yes master.” I nodded, ignoring the slight burn in my thighs as I straddled Jimin. I could feel his thighs under my ass, thick and muscular. I was lying so we were chest to chest, his abs pressing against my stomach. Jungkook was half lying on my lower back.

“Okay, sweetheart, open up.” Jin knelt in front of me, his cock level with my mouth. He was longer than Jimin, but thinner. I opened my mouth and let him push his cock into my mouth gently, not wanting to hurt me. I closed my eyes and hummed around him as I tasted the saltiness of his pre-cum, wrapping my hand around what I couldn’t fit in my mouth.

There was a moan behind me, which sounded awfully like Jungkook. I presumed that Yoongi had started to fuck him due to the slapping sounds which were jolting Jimin into me. I moaned around Jin’s cock, making him throw his head back and moan as the sound vibrated up his shaft.

“You look so pretty with your mouth stuffed full of me.” Jin crooned as I hollowed my cheeks and bobbed my head, moaning as Jimin’s cock rubbed against my walls, hitting the bundle of nerves inside of me each time. His thumb began to rub small circles on my clit, applying the perfect amount of pressure as he did, making me jolt and my eyes roll back into my head. “Think you can take more?” Jin asked. I nodded and he pushed more of himself into my mouth, making me gag slightly as his tip hit the back of my throat.

“Swallow around him, kitten. It will help you not gag as much.” Yoongi said, his voice husky and breathless. I swallowed around Jin, making him groan as I sucked him again.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Jin warned as he gently thrusted into my mouth. I sucked harder, making him tense. “I’m cumming.” He moaned as a salty liquid filled my mouth, his hips making stuttering thrusts. “Fuck, so good.” His hand wrapped in my hair as he pulled out of my mouth. “Swallow.” He ordered. I obeyed and showed him my empty mouth. “Good girl.” He bent down and kissed me gently before taking hold of my hips and guiding me up and down on Jimin.

“Oh my Go-,” Jimin’s eyes rolled back as Jungkook hit his prostate, his hips thrusting up roughly, making him hit my g-spot.

“Jimin, fuck.” I moaned as Jin pushed me down on him. Jimin continued to rub circles on my clit, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. “I’m close.” I said.

“Not yet, kitten. You wait.” Yoongi warned, his thrusts into Jungkook sounding powerful.

“Master, I’m going to cum.” Jimin moaned.

“Me too.” Jungkook said, bending his head down to kiss my neck. I knew I was covered in small red flowers, blooming everywhere their mouths had touched my skin.

“Okay, hold on, I’m almost there.” Yoongi said, his thrusts speeding up. Jungkook’s moans became high-pitched and loud as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. Jimin’s were the same.

“Fuck, I don’t think I can hold on much longer.” I moaned out as Jin pounded me onto Jimin’s cock. There was a groan as Yoongi came, spilling into Jungkook.

“Cum you three.” Yoongi ordered. As he said this, the three of us simultaneously moaned as we allowed ourselves to cum. My hole tightened around Jimin, making him cry out in pleasure, his cum filling me up.

“You look so pretty when you come.” Jin cooed, cupping my face and kissing me as my body shook from the sparks of pleasure rushing through my veins from the force of my orgasm.

I flopped forward onto Jimin, his arms instantly coming up to wrap around my waist. He hissed as Jungkook pulled out of him before tensing again. I looked over my shoulder and saw Yoongi pushing a plug into his ass.

“Come on, princess, let’s get you cleaned up.” Yoongi said. I whined and snuggled into Jimin’s chest, making him chuckle.

“I don’t think she’s going anywhere, Yoongi hyung.” He said, kissing the top of my head.

“And we aren’t either.” Jin said, flopping down next to us. “We’ll clean up in the morning. Let’s cuddle.” I felt hands pull some panties up my legs and slip a shirt over my body, but I was so tired I didn’t have the energy to see who it was. I was pulled against a chest, while arms wrapped around my waist. My nose was instantly filled with the scent of coffee.

“We are never going anywhere without you, jagiya.” He said. “I promise. We will never leave you. No matter what.” I smiled as he kissed the top of my head and hummed quietly to lull me off to sleep.

#angst #fluff #bts ot7 #bts x reader #Poly BTS #bts poly #btspolyau #dom!hoseok #dom!yoongi #dom!namjoon #switch!jin #sub!jimin #sub!taehyung #sub!jungkook

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jonnnysuh · 3 years

Text

Never Not - Park Jinyoung

Pairing: idol!Jinyoung x gender neutral reader

Summary: Your bad day is turned around when your childhood best friend, Jinyoung, returns to your hometown and takes you on a tour of your favourite memories together.

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: suggested sexual experience

Word Count: 4.3k

Requested by: Anon

A/N: Hi guysssss. I took a small break from tumblr bc I got super busy with work. I haven’t written something like this in a while, but I actually loved how it turned out. I recommend listening to Never Not by Lauv to get into the mood <33

Effort was hard to make these days. Even the way you walked had an unmistakable slouch. Your exhaustive strides were just a shallow reminder that there used to be a hop in your step. Five more minutes and you were free from the shackles of work. Free to figure out what to make for dinner, and appease the gurgles of your stomach.The seconds on the point of sale system didn't seem to move fast enough as you folded the customer's final item and shoved it into a bag.

When you were a kid, no one told you how exhausting being an adult was, and thus it became something to look forward to. You were so caught up on getting that first kiss, sneaking out to go to parties, seeing people that your parents didn't approve of, that you didn't realize that life didn't slow down from there. It was like you blinked, and you were no longer 16. Instead, you were twenty-something perpetually feeling like life was just an endless pit of "what ifs" and building up the courage to make something of yourself. Another mindless "Have a good day." escaped your lips as you bid a customer bye for the nth time that day. You wondered how many of your years would waste away telling others to have a good day, when you yourself hadn't had one in a while.

You pressed your fingers against your temple to sooth a small growing headache. Working in retail for as long as you had, you knew that the s-curved line of people didn't stop for your discomfort. With a fake smile on your face, you welcomed the next few customers as your eyes wandered around the store looking for the person who was going to take over for the next hour. Fifteen minutes past the hour, your replacement finally came. Externally, you wanted to scream and ask them what took you so long? but you knew that would only make you as good as the worst customer. Graciously, you nodded at them, before walking away to the back room to fetch your things and head out.

...

You stood against the wall at the bus shelter shivering from the cool summer breeze that was disguising just how rapidly autumn was truly coming. Today probably wasn't the best day to forget your coat. You rubbed your arms for warmth, taking micro footsteps in place. The pain in your feet made you romanticize the comfort of the sturdy old bus seats as a place of rest. You felt your phone in your pocket vibrate, but you let it ring out. You were determined to get a seat on this bus. A deep sigh escaped you as you surveyed the density of the crowd on the platform- the ride home was definitely going to be longer than usual. When the bus arrived, you queued behind a long line of people. Your phone rang a second time, at this point the crowd was getting larger and you knew you weren't going to get a seat on this bus.

PRIVATE CALLER

"Hello?" you pressed your phone to your ear. Sometimes your mother used phone booths to reach you, so you expected her voice to be on the other end of the line. "I'm offended I had to call you twice for you to pick up." The voice was much deeper, and the delivery much more lighthearted than anything that would've came out of your mother. The absence of a greeting was distinct and direct, but no matter, you knew exactly who this was.

You felt the tenseness of your shoulders drop with just the sound of this voice. "If I had definitely known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up, Mr. Private caller." you jest with the phone pressed between your ear and the crook of your shoulder.

"You know, I was gonna suggest that I pick you up, but just for that comment, I change my mind."

You poke your tongue at your cheek, coyly. For all the changes that occurred in your life, for some reason you could depend on Jinyoung's quick wit and humour to hit the spot even after all this time.

"That's fine, I just finished work so I was thinking of just going home anyways." You had no idea he was even back in South Korea. Last you heard, he was on tour somewhere in North America. More than that, you couldn't even remember when the last time you actually talked was. You were curious about what he was up to these days, but you you knew any hint of urgency in your voice would lead to incessant teasing on his part. The line progressed slightly, but you still didn't feel any closer to the entrance of the bus.

"I'm about to get on a bus home."

"Well, don't get on."

"If I don't get on then you're gonna have to repay me for the fare I paid to even get here." You eyed the bus reaching its capacity, and stepped aside. You twisted your fingers in hope that he was being 100% serious, otherwise you were going to have to wait out for the 6:30pm bus.

"I can't believe the cost of your attention is only $2. Do better." the voice quipped.

"Okay, Jinyoung I guess I'll just get on, then." you threatened, although you had no intention of boarding the departing bus.

"Fine, fine. I'll pay for your fare. Just wait for me."

...

The sky had darkened tenfold since you hung up from Jinyoung's impromptu call. The streetlights glowed gold against the lavender backdrop of the sky. You sat on the bus shelter bench, swinging your feet back and forth as you waited for him. If he took even a minute longer, you vowed to somehow become the president of the Park Jinyoung hate club. Of course, you wouldn't actually, but the idea became more appealing the longer you waited.

You weren't one to go on spontaneous outings- at least not since your teenage years. Recently, you followed the strict routine of work, home, sleep, and to stray from it seemed pointless. But the fact that he even thought of you when he came back home to South Korea was still not something you could wrap your head around.

In the distance, a glow of headlights appeared, stopping perfectly adjacent to your bus stop. The window rolled down, and there appeared Jinyoung's face in all its glory. To say all the words in your vocabulary disappeared would be an understatement. A part of you doubted he would even follow through. Without missing a beat, he returned a look to you. "You just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna get in the car?"

...

Your backpack was sitting atop your lap, bouncing with the movement of the car. Jinyoung hung one hand over the steering wheel. The orange and purple of the sky twisting, and creating a brand new colour that only seemed to grace the skies at this hour. The music was unidentifiable, but the volume was low enough that you didn't even bother trying to figure it out.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked.

"I worked, I told you that." you replied, matter-of-factly.

"And how was it?"

"I honestly can't tell the difference between this week and last week. Or even last month. Same old, same old. Annoying customers, stale lunch, forgot my jacket at home even though it's 15 fucking degrees outside."

"Do you still work at that clothing store you started at when we were 20?"

Your eyes shifted, following the ever-changing scenery of the highway. No idea where he was bringing you, and yet you were brought to comfort by Jinyoung's habits. You knew he didn't have a drug deal, or a random party planned. Jinyoung was always the type to be home before midnight. He was a self-proclaimed goody-two-shoes, but you weren't completely fooled. You knew he could bend the rules if it seemed to serve him.

"That exact same one."

"Anything else?"

You looked at him, the shock settling in that he was really right next to you-- no longer just a figure on a billboard that you used to know. The changes of his physicality were subtle; his face was more defined, but his cheeks still carried the baby fat that had been there since childhood. The shadow of his facial hair loomed on his smooth skin. The mole on the top of his lip, not necessarily gone, but faded. He looked older, but the aura of his presence remained the same.

"And then I was dumb enough to get into a car with a stranger because he said he'd give me $2."

Jinyoung side eyed you, causing you to erupt in laughter. His glare was also unchanging. "Stranger? Your memory's fading already?" He shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you still had a few good years left."

"Oh yeahhhhhh. Sorry Jinyoungie. Didn't recognize you with all the fame." you pinched and pulled on his ear- both things a relic of your grade school years. When you were kids, you never let him forget the age gap. Granted, it was only 3 days, but that gave you the freedom to refer to him however you pleased, while he was stuck with the honorifics.

As you let go, the curve of his ear flushed red. "OWW.” he cried, swatting your hand away. “You’re lucky I’m driving otherwise I would pull your hair.”

Being raised with Jinyoung meant that you were inseparable but kind of in the worst way. If Jinyoung got a good mark on a test, his parents would immediately flaunt it to yours. If you wanted to sneak out, he was on your tail telling you to go back home. And if he knew you liked someone, then that person would know soon enough by the words of Jinyoung. All of that warranted ear pulling, and if you did something in retaliation he would pull your hair.

He was one of the few people in your life, who encapsulated a certain time of your life. The time in your life when you were young, and the world felt so big and everything was possible.

The car rocked back and forth as it shifted into the elevated ramp of a parking lot. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were. He lingered in his seat before popping his seatbelt off and exiting the car. You followed him, swinging the passenger door open.

"So you randomly called me because you wanted to hang out at the...convenience store?" you gestured to the old, orangey building. The bricks were chipped, and the fluorescent lights illuminated the outside through the big glass window. You remember the days when you and Jinyoung would sit on the parking blocks and split a bag of chips until you were chased off the property by the owner. He pulled on the store door, pressing his back to it and letting you enter first.

"Well, I wasn't going to come here until you started yanking my ears. That's when I knew you were hungry."

Without stopping, you weaved through the store until you reached aisle 3- the snack aisle had become a home to you and Jinyoung when you were growing up. In grade school, you were both fearful of what was beyond the boundaries of your home and school so you indulged in after school snacks at the convenience to talk about the latest happenings in your life. As you aged, it became the place of solace after exams, or the meetup location for last minute plans.

He picked up a package of gummy worms, and shook them in your face. "Do you remember what happened the last time we ate theseeee?" Jinyoung smirked. For a moment, you were taken aback by how much he had grown. In your teens, you and Jinyoung met eye to eye. Now, you felt like you had to look up at him in order to be taken seriously.

You crossed your arms, "Yeah, we ate them in the parking lot and you made me confess who I had a crush on."

"Chan, right?"

You nodded, with a sulk as you reminisced. "That wasn't fair."

"Why? Do you still have a crush on him?"

"I haven't thought about him in so long. You really think I'd have a lingering crush on a guy I haven't seen in years?"

Jinyoung shrugged, and shifted his feet. "You had a huge crush on him, though. You even stared at him like this." He rested his palm to his cheek, letting out a deep sigh while trying to maintain an enamoured expression. You snorted, hitting him on the chest. "You'd write his name all over your notebooks AND you bullied me into giving you one of my new ones." he added.

You let out a belly laugh. "And then I wrote his name all over that one too."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "They were premium quality notebooks. My aunt sent me them from the states!"

"You had a kabillion of them. Besides, you pestered me for-like-ever to know who I liked, but you never even told me who you had a crush on." You grabbed the bag of gummy worms from his hand and placed it in your shopping basket. Your attention shifted, as you realized you should be in search of your favourite chocolates. You knew that you were far too old to be eating junk food for dinner, but there was something familiar about being hyped up on food that you knew would rot your insides. Your eyes landed on the top row of the wall, and before you could grab your favourite chocolates, Jinyoung stripped it from the wall and dropped it into the basket. He piled on a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and then you both ventured to the drink refrigerators.

Both of you stared deeply at your drink options. On each level of the fridge, stood several different colourful drinks. If you knew Jinyoung, then you knew he would pick a Coke- it was something he swore by in your younger years. You hummed, mentally deciding between an iced tea or a vitamin water. You weren't sure why it bothered you when Jinyoung picked up a Sprite, but you tried to hide your dismay. With an ice tea in hand, and a basket full of both of your favourite things, you made your way to the cashier.

At the last moment, Jinyoung placed a bright yellow umbrella on the checkout counter. He looked down at you, surely, “You never know when it’s gonna rain.”

...

The following car ride to your next destination only lasted about 3 minutes before he parked on the side of the road and dragged you down the street, with the plastic bag full of your foods in hand.

"I should've known you were going to bring me here." you said, strolling down the familiar gravel pathway towards your elementary school. All colour in the sky had disappeared now, finding it hard to see anything but the outline of each other and some features.

Both of you settled on the grass field, onlooking the tall school building that was the foundation of your formal years. As soon as you opened the bag of chips, you found yourselves deep in conversation, talking about what life had been for him the last few years. You couldn't help but be in awe when he explained the rush he got when he got on stage, and how he got anxiety when he thought he wasn’t doing his best. The candidacy of his thoughts drew you in and you were surprised that he trusted you with his secrets.

All these years, you had always wondered what he was up to, if he was living a life far better than the one he left at home. To everyone else, he was this huge pop star that had travelled the world 3 times over, but to you, he was your best friend who left home at 16. You had seen him through the bad hair phases, the adolescent temper tantrums, the voice cracks, and the questionable fashion choices both your parents had put you in.

He leaned back on his arms as he gazed at the school. "Are you afraid of change?" You were silent for a moment as you thought. "On a scale of 1-10?" you rocked your head back and forth. "It's a 15."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. You held your legs to your chest, and looked at him. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it and looked smugly in the other direction. "Heyyy." you poked him repeatedly. "You can't just ask me that and not tell me why."

He enclosed his hand around your finger, forcing your poking to come to a halt. It felt like he was studying your face. Never in your life had you ever felt like you were under the scope of Jinyoung's gaze. The darkness of the sky acted as a mask, hiding your blushing face.

"It was the last thing I asked you before I left." he admitted. "I asked you that when things were about to change big time for us… I always wondered if you resented me for leaving you behind."

The last day before Jinyoung left to become a full-time trainee, you two snuck on to this very same field. Both of you ran across the grass, picking up dandelions; believing that if you gathered enough and blew on them, that they would fuel your wishes.

“You thought I could resent you?” He nodded. “Well, for starters, I hate your guts.” You replied sarcastically, causing him to look at the ground with embarrassment and your face softened at the sight of it.

“You know what I wished for on all of those dandelions, Jinyoung?”

“Not to fail the math exam.” Even in a soft moment, he couldn’t help but be sly. “No!” You exclaimed.

“Well, you should’ve. You got a 48.” He sensed your killer look on him. “So what’d you wish for?”

You played with your fingers. You thought you’d take this secret to the grave. “I wished that you’d be successful in whatever you chose to do.” His eyes enlarged, alarmed at your confession. “but maybe I should’ve wished for the math thing.”

Jinyoung giggled, inching closer to you so your legs were pressed against each other.

“What did you wish for?” You asked. He smiled with the side of his mouth, shaking his head.

“I wished that I’d always find my way back home.” “Oh goddd.” You gagged. “you’re so corny.”

“What about you, huh? You used your wish on me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing against the school playground.

“Hey, I might just be the reason why you’re famous.” You fought back.

You flipped your phone over, 7:53, the brightness of it only barely illuminating the dark. You thought about what you would be doing at this moment if you weren’t here, if he hadn’t picked you up. Mmm probably falling asleep to a tv show. Probably dreading tomorrow. Probably not as happy.

"But what did I say? You know… the first time you asked me that question?” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how 16-year-old you answered.

"You said you were excited to see who we were going to become.” The words of your younger self were so hopeful, yet your current self felt hopeless. Your expression sank, and Jinyoung offered a small smile to revive it. He felt guilty having asked you the question in the first place.

You sat in silence for a bit, dwelling on the excitement for life that you once had. Where was it? And how could you get it back?

“I feel like I’ve let myself down. I don’t even know who I am now.”

Jinyoung blinked slowly, watching his childhood best friend crumble. He rested a hand on your shoulder. "I just look at you, and in so many ways you're the same. I still know what makes you laugh, and the way you say things. I can still pick out your favourite snacks, and know you’re gonna pull my ears when I do something to piss you off.” he yanked on yours softly. "Everything about you feels just how I left you. I feel my youth when I'm with you. But at the same time I’m comforted by how much you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” You shook your head no. “Do you remember how scared you were to even leave the house when we were kids? Now you live on your own. You never took anything seriously back then, but you’re now one of the hardest working people I know…” his voice softened. “And you let yourself be vulnerable with me when it used to take hours to drag it out of you.” You laid on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours, snuggling closer. “You fear change, yet you’re changing right before your own eyes. And maybe one day, I’ll come back here, and I won’t even be able to recognize who you’ve become.” You sniffled, the idea of Jinyoung not remembering you broke your heart. You held your chest. “But if that day does come, it’ll be okay. Because I know that the person that you’ve become will have it all figured out. I’ll always be rooting for every single version of yourself even if it doesn’t include me.” You sobbed quietly, interlocking your fingers with his. He held your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. For once, there was an action not done out of habit or relic. It was an action evoked just for this moment, and it was a change that you didn’t mind.

…

Jinyoung held your hand, leading you down a narrow road a few minutes away. The sound of crickets, barking dogs, and distant vehicles could be heard as you stood in the middle of the road of your childhood neighbourhood.

You hadn’t been here since you moved in 2016. You looked up at the large modern house that sat on what used to be two lots. Yours and Jinyoung’s childhood homes were purchased by a wealthy business man and demolished to build the business man’s dream home. You stared at the foreign house that sat on the place of your childhood dreams and frustrations.

Jinyoung placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you at the exact halfway point between what was once his house and your house. You rubbed your arms as a gust of wind rushed by. Without thinking, Jinyoung slipped off his hoodie and placed it on top of your shoulders.

“I remember racing you down this street.” You piped up, pointing down the end of the road. Jinyoung always won that race. No one was faster than him on this street.

“I remember finding that stray puppy and fighting over who got to keep it.” He responded.

“It should’ve been me.” You bickered. Jinyoung laughed, amused at how you were always one to hold a grudge.

“Do you remember that day when it started raining soooo hard and we had to walk shoulder to shoulder under my umbrella?”

You nodded. “Ya, that was the same day with the gummy worms, you dummy.”

“So do you remember what happened right here?” He pointed at the exact spot you were standing. You racked your head for a memory, but nothing stood out to you clearly. You shook your head no. “We always said bye to one another here...but…?” you trailed off.

He took a step forward, both of you standing directly under the streetlight now. You watched his face light up as he likely played the moment back in his head. “So that day, standing under my umbrella, we were about to go our separate ways. You turned into me.”

He took another step closer, popping open the bright yellow convenience store umbrella and holding it over your heads.

You could see it now. It was drizzling so hard, even your hair wasn’t protected from getting soaked. You wrapped your hands around the handle, just like how you did back then. Chest to chest, huddled under the umbrella. Jinyoung locked eyes with you, your heart beat faster.

“And you looked at me, and I swear I was going to say everything I wanted to tell you right then and there.” Your mouth opened in shock. “This was the place where I almost told you I loved you.”

You studied the eyes of the boy you watched grow up. He looked scared, but sure. There was no doubt in your mind that Jinyoung meant what he said. He lowered the umbrella, not letting his gaze veer from you.

Your life was just a build up of what if’s and trying to gain the courage to make something of yourself… but you didn’t want that anymore. With your heart beating out of control, you leaned into him, taking the risk and kissing his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the heat of the kiss.

A round of thunder boomed above you, and little by little, raindrops began to pour from the sky.

You and Jinyoung separated to look up at the sky. “I did say, you never know when it’s gonna rain.”

You both ran for the car, shoulder to shoulder, under the umbrella. From your heads to your toes, you were soaked in the rain, but neither of you cared. You silently thanked the world for every bad thing that happened to you today that led to this.

…

You blinked your eyes awake, surveying the damp clothes strewn across your living room floor, and the heat of the bare body laying next to you on the couch. You stared at your sleepy childhood best friend, a smile spreading across your lips. This was a change you were ready for.

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kuroopaisen · 4 years

Text

the in-between | i (kuroo tetsurou)

➵ it took you and kuroo 24,000 words and 69 pages of pure behemoth far too long to learn that love was never singularly defined. it can be both striking and understated, sudden and unhurried, gentle and all-consuming. and most of all, it can be anything else in-between.

wc: 9k (part 1 of 3)

warnings: f!reader, good old f2l (do i write anything else?), depictions of anxiety & depression, cursing

a/n: i cannot thank @w-yuren enough for all the love and care she poured into beta-ing this :( i’m honestly so touched you worked through this absolute monstrosity w me (and put up w my incoherence) ren u deserve the world <3 (also @jupiturde erin ilysm thank you for reading this over So Many times you’re incredible!!)

m. list | ch. 1 ↠ ch. 2

"I'll help you," Kuroo sighed. "On one condition."

The scant bit of confidence you’d worked up was starting to crumble. You clenched your fists, steeling yourself. At this point, you're willing to do just about anything.

"Manage the volleyball team for a while."

Your face fell. "What, really?"

"Mhm," Kuroo nodded, still slouched over his desk.

"You're kidding, right?"

He shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

This wasn't quite how you’d expected the situation to go. And quite frankly, you were just upset that you were even in this situation in the first place. But, who wouldn't be?

Begging Kuroo Tetsurou to help you with chemistry wasn’t a situation you’d envisioned yourself ending up in. But, something had to be done about those abysmal exam marks. Your grades in everything else were fine; good, even. Certainly high enough to earn you your spot in Class 5. But that chemistry grade was something to be concerned about. Your homeroom teacher had warned you as much on the very first day of the school year.

And for the handful of weeks since, you’d been driving yourself mad trying to think of a solution. Hard work had only gotten you so far, and none of your friends felt they were competent enough to tutor you. You needed help – desperately.

So there you stood, in front of the desk of a boy you’d never had a proper conversation with before, asking for his help – all while uncomfortably aware that this was cutting into his lunch break.

You hadn’t quite known what to expect from this interaction. You weren't really friends, after all; you’d been vaguely aware of him over this past year and a bit, but knew little, if anything, about him. All you knew was that he was topping the grade when it came to chemistry, and therefore, turning to him in this time of need might help.

You hadn't expected this ultimatum.

"Why?"

It was a genuine question.

"Hm?"

"Why ask me to be your manager?" You asked, tilting your head at him. "I know nothing about volleyball."

"You'll learn."

You frowned. "This is the only way you'll tutor me?"

"It's not the only way," Kuroo shrugged, raising an eyebrow at you. "But it'd certainly bump it up my priority list."

The worst thing was that it didn't even seem like he was trying to be a dick.

Right, you thought. Pros and cons.

Cons: being a manager would eat up a lot of your time. Presumably. Maybe. You didn't have any real idea.

Also, it would mean spending a lot more time around sweaty boys. That sounded kind of gross.

And what time did practice finish? Walking home after sunset was always a little scary. Certainly scary enough to stoke a bit of anxiety.

More importantly, it sounded like responsibility. Maybe you were overestimating just what being a manager meant, but it sounded like there was plenty of stuff you could mess up.

Pros: it'd look really, really good on your college applications.

Just like a passing chemistry grade would. Which you weren't going to get all on your own.

“It doesn’t have to be for long,” he offered, raising an eyebrow at you. “Just a couple of months. And I’ll be your resource to use as you please.”

You blinked at him, baffled at his choice of phrasing.

“How about you just drop by practice this afternoon?” He suggested, balancing his chin on his fist. “You can get a feel for it.”

You sighed.

“Alright.”

You were willing to do just about anything, after all.

✧ ✧ ✧

Teenage boys, no matter how polite or kind or accommodating, are always scary in packs.

That little revelation came to mind as you pressed yourself meekly against the wall of the gym, watching a gaggle of boys running back and forth, jumping and hitting and shouting. Part of you wanted to melt into the wall, hoping that none of these giants would pay you much attention.

You’re painfully aware of one of them staring at you; a first-year, judging by his use of honorifics. He’s tallish, but not enough to be scary, with close-cropped hair and grumpy eyebrows. There’s a certain intensity to him – he seemed like the sort of person with too much tenacity for his own good.

And yet, he seemed terrified of you. Was he the sort of boy who couldn’t talk to girls?

You smiled to yourself. Such dichotomy in one personality, huh?

There was another boy that caught your eye. A quiet one, with chin-length black hair who seemed to want to sink into the ground. He didn’t look like the sort of boy you’d expect to find on a high school sports team. He was a little shorter than everyone else – except for Yaku, who’d greeted you quite amiably when you’d first arrived.

But Yaku seemed like he wanted to be there. Like he enjoyed it. This kid? He looked like he just wanted to melt into the shadows. He always flinched whenever anyone called out to him. Hell, he seemed to flinch even when someone so much as looked at him. Was he okay? Should you ask if he’s okay? Should you point him out to Kuroo? But Kuroo had already spoken to him a few times…

Well, checking in with people’s well-being would be part of your job as a manager, right? It’d be your duty to make sure that the club members were doing okay.

But practice was still going. You’d have to put a pin in that thought.

The third years were frightening, as expected. But, you felt as though your upperclassmen would always be somewhat scary. The captain had traded a handful of words with you – hellos, nice to meet yous, a what are you even doing here – but he hadn’t made any particular point to help you out.

That job was left to the coach, who, thankfully, seemed quite kind. You had said very little to him, but you could tell that he loved his job just from the serene smile that graced his face as he watched his team go at it.

Practice was over before you knew it. The sun was setting outside the windows, the sky blushing orange. You bit your lip. Maybe you’d be able to get home before it got too dark…

You sighed, turning your gaze back to the gym floor. Maybe you should try talking to one of the boys… Yaku had always been friendly. Maybe he’d tolerate a conversation with you? Oh, what about Kai? He’d been very quiet, but he seemed nice… There was Kuroo, too…

You pressed your lips together, eyes scanning over the gaggle of boys in front of you as your mind ran through the pros and cons all at once.

You frowned. The third years were yapping at that quiet boy; whatever they were saying, it didn’t seem exactly friendly. You froze. Should you do something? Was this normal? Was it a problem? He looked terrified – not that he showed it outright, but it was in his eyes.

Kuroo was standing behind him, saying something to one of the third years. You couldn’t quite hear them, but Kuroo’s expression was… cold. Not confrontational, just unyielding. Whatever he’d said, the third years stalked away.

You watched closely as Kuroo’s expression softened as he looked at the shorter boy. He looked concerned. Were they friends?

“Oi, manager chick!”

You cringed. It’s one of the third years – not the captain, but someone you’d noted had quite the nasty serve.

“Help clean up!”

“Right!” You gave a quick half-bow, your head flicking around almost frantically as you looked for something to do.

You settled for collecting stray balls, rushing them back to the ball bins. All the while you watched the sky darken beyond the gym windows – and with it, your anxiety began to blossom.

By the time you were picking up your bag to go home, the sky was positively black. You bit your lip as you stared out the gym windows, your eyebrows a little furrowed.

“Hey.”

You looked up, a little startled. Kuroo, forehead slick with sweat and cheeks tinged red from exertion. You resisted the urge to scrunch up your nose. Being this close to a sweaty teenage boy wasn’t high on your priorities list.

“What’d you think?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck with a towel.

You shrugged. “Seems intense.”

“But you don’t hate it, right?” He smiled. It’s hopeful. Almost pitifully so.

You bit the inside of your cheek. In truth, you didn’t. There’s something quite fun about watching them play volleyball up close. They all got so into it. It was always nice, watching people care about something so deeply that enjoyment seeped through every part of their being.

“We’ll see,” you said. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow.”

He smiled brightly at that half-promise. Brightly enough that you knew you didn’t want to let him down.

This side of him was already a far cry from that trickster-like figure you’d negotiated with this morning.

“Hey, uh…” He cleared his throat, one hand finding its way to the back of his head. “I was wondering… did you need me to walk you home? I know it’s getting kind of late, so…”

You felt something that’s not quite elation, but certainly a bit more intense than relief. Tokyo’s a safe enough place, yes, but that fact’s never enough to quell the anxiety you’d always felt from walking home in the dark.

“If it’s not too much trouble.” You tried to make your smile look relaxed and natural, but you knew some hint of tension had made its way in there.

“Cool,” Kuroo said, giving you a little nod as his eyes scanned your face. He relaxed his shoulders a bit, slouching down a little. Was he… trying to make himself smaller? “But, uh… where do you live?”

By some miracle, it’s not all that far from his place. You caught the relief on his face, even if he made an effort to hide it. Would he really have walked you all the way to your house, even if it wasn’t in the same area?

He didn’t give you time to think about it, turning around and waving a hand in the air.

“Hey, Kenma!”

Your brows rose instinctively as the shy kid scurried over, head hunched down and hands stuffed into his pockets.

“This is Kenma,” Kuroo smiled, nodding at him. “He’s my next-door neighbour.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you smiled, tilting your head at him.

“Yeah,” Kenma nodded in a quiet response, not quite able to meet your eyes. You didn’t press it. You offered him your name quickly, a bit like an afterthought, but Kenma gave you a little nod in recognition.

“You guys ready to go?” Kuroo looked between the both of you, tilting his head at the door.

You glanced over at Kenma. He didn’t glance back.

“Yeah,” you nodded, relieved that you wouldn’t have to walk the dark streets on your own.

✉

[YOU] 7:21 PM: hello! Is this kuroo?

[Kuroo] 7:34 PM: you got it

[YOU] 7:36 PM: thank goodness! I just wanted to say, thank you for walking me home today. I was a bit worried about it, but I didn’t want to impose

[Kuroo] 7:38 PM: not a problem. I’m more than happy to do it again tomorrow

[Kuroo] 7:38 PM: since you are coming to practice, right?

[YOU] 7:40 PM: Sure :)

✧ ✧ ✧

Kuroo Tetsurou hadn’t been what you’d expected.

For one thing, he’d actually made good on your deal. You’d half-expected him to bail on tutoring you – though you couldn’t exactly say why. But, you supposed it would be hard for him to dodge the ire of his club manager. Regardless, he dedicated most afternoons to helping you study.

You’d meet up in the library before practice and you’d always start with chemistry. He was actually kind of good at explaining the concepts to you in a way you understood, without all the bells and whistles. He had a way of simplifying the concepts to their bare bones. That’s not to say that it wasn’t difficult; you still felt like you’d been left far, far behind. But, Kuroo was something of a comfort.

Somehow, you’d end up working on other subjects. Apparently, Kuroo’s surprisingly bad at literature. He was doing well enough, but it was something he just couldn’t wrap his head around. Maybe you’d been a bit gung-ho about offering your help, but you were just glad you finally had something to offer in this arrangement. Even though you were still managing the volleyball team, overwhelming as that could be sometimes.

But, you’d made a deal, and the whole manager business was less scary than you’d first thought. And you felt that with time, you’d get the hang of it. Maybe.

More often than not, your study session before practice wasn’t enough time to cover all the content you needed. So, sometimes, you’d continue it after practice, holed up in the library until you got kicked out. Kenma usually stuck with you guys, sitting in the corner with whatever game console he’d brought that day.

And without fail, Kuroo walked you all the way to your house every night. And during those walks, you talked. Rather animatedly.

“What I’m saying is that the divide between the arts and the sciences is arbitrary,” Kuroo shrugged, raising an eyebrow. “When they work together, incredible things happen. Genuine art happens.” He cocked his head at you, that perceptive grin of his spread across his face. “You’d really disagree with me on that?”

“I didn’t say I disagree,” you grinned. “I’m just surprised that you’re not one of those sciencey people who thinks that the arts are worthless.”

He scoffed at that, shaking his head. “Excuse you. I’ve got more nuance than that.”

“Sorry for doubting you,” you giggled.

“You better be.”

The thing you’d been most surprised about, above everything else, was just how enjoyable it was to talk to him. How easy it was to get lost in a conversation that most of your other friends might get bored by. It’s not that your other friends treated you badly, but Kuroo had a way of naturally drawing out your thoughts, and he usually treated them with enough respect to engage with them. Of course, there were times when he loved to tease, and you’d learnt to not take it too personally.

Kuroo Tetsurou was far more interesting than you’d first given him credit for. And you felt kind of bad for that. You’d known he wasn’t just some dumb jock – he wasn’t topping chemistry for nothing – but you hadn’t expected him to be so… clever. So playful. So fun to talk to.

You were beginning to feel that maybe, just maybe, he was someone you could end up being quite close to.

✉

[YOU] 10:41 PM: hey, kuroo?

[Kuroo] 10:46 PM: what's up?

[YOU] 10:47 PM: i was just wondering, why did you ask me to become manager?

[Kuroo] 10:48 PM: oh ahaha

[Kuroo] 10:48 PM: i thought having an extra pair of hands around would help the coach out a bit

[YOU] 10:48 PM: wait really

[YOU] 10:48 PM: that's it?

[Kuroo] 10:50 PM: ??????

[YOU] 10:51 PM: you were so seedy about it!

[Kuroo] 10:51 PM: was i?

[YOU] 10:52 PM: i–

[Kuroo] 10:53 PM: :)

✧ ✧ ✧

“Kenma wants to quit.”

Your head shot up, turning to Kuroo with wide eyes. “What?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, one hand raking through his hair. “The third years have been giving him a really rough time.” He bit his lip, glancing at you. “You’ve seen it yourself.”

You swallowed. “I hoped I was just being too sensitive, but…”

Kuroo groaned, running a hand down his face. “They’re such assholes.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say. The third years had almost made you want to quit in the early days. They were scary, sharp, unrelenting. But they’d left you alone pretty quickly once you’d settled into the thrum of your responsibilities.

Kenma hadn’t been so lucky.

“Is he okay?” You murmured, brows knitted together. “I mean, I know he’s getting picked on, but is he… is he… I don’t know…”

“I get it,” Kuroo sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. He doesn’t really talk about that sort of stuff.”

You set your pen down on the dining table, shifting in your chair to face him directly.

Practice had been cancelled for the afternoon, and Kuroo had bustled you out of school before you even had a chance to ask why. You’d been surprised when he had asked if the two of you could study at your place that afternoon – and some part of you had dreaded what your parents might say about you bringing a boy home – but you’d conceded. He’d seemed stuck in his head; something not unusual for him, but he’d been just withdrawn enough to pique your concern.

This must’ve been why.

“I just don’t know what to do,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “I don’t want to push him too hard or anything, but I don’t think he’s making the right choice.”

You bit your lip.

“Why?” You asked, feeling bold.

“Huh?”

“Tell me why you don’t want him to quit,” you said. “Other than the obvious.” You sat up a little straighter, grabbing your notebook and picking up your pen. “We can brainstorm together.”

“Other than the obvious?” He tilted his head at you.

“You know,” you shrugged. “I know you want him to stay around because he’s your best friend, but... there’s more to it, right?”

“Well…” Kuroo swallowed, rubbing the back of his neck as he leant back in his chair. “We’re not gonna get very far without him.”

You scribbled that down quickly. “Why’s that?”

“He’s a good strategist,” Kuroo said carefully, “And he’s great at running through all the potential outcomes on the spot. And nobody on the team’s as observant as he is.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as you transcribed. You weren’t narcissistic enough to think you knew Kenma better than Kuroo did. Nor did you want to presume you were closer to the second-year than you actually were. But you wanted to help.

“Why don’t you… explain that to him?” You asked, peering down at your notebook.

“What do you mean?”

“Like… just tell him the logical reasons you want him to stick around,” you shrugged. “I think he’d respond well to that.”

“I guess…” Kuroo pursed his lips, looking at you with a frown.

“What I’m trying to say is that… maybe putting it into terms that’ll resonate with him is the best way to go.” You weren’t quite sure if your point was getting across. You just had to hope that he understood.

“I get you,” he nodded, crossing his arms. “I dunno if it’ll work though.”

“He’ll listen to you,” you mused, propping your hand on your chin.

“Huh?”

“It’s obvious you mean a lot to him,” you shrugged. “Even if he doesn’t really use his words to express that.”

Kuroo blinked at you, a touch of pink to his cheeks.

“I mean, he’s stuck it out with volleyball this long, hasn’t he?” You smiled at him, watching his cheeks grow even pinker. “That’s because of you.”

He cleared his throat as he looked down at his lap. It was strange to see him so… speechless. He was the sort of person that always had a comeback. You were never able to get a one up on him. Sincerity, however, seemed to be his hamartia.

“I just… I wanna go as far as I can with this team,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “You know, me and the other second years… when we first joined the team, we were asked about our goals.”

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “We all said that we wanted to win nationals.”

He wasn’t quite sure why he was telling you all this. He didn’t know where it came from. But he knew he’s grateful to be able to just talk. To share this with someone.

“Yaku and I used to fight all the time,” he smiled sheepishly, casting his gaze at you.

“I can see that,” you giggled. There was always a little fire between the two of them; it’d given you a good laugh many times.

“It was kind of stupid, but… we got over it. We learned to work together,” Kuroo sighed.

“I feel bad for poor Kai,” you smiled.

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah…” He sighed as he leaned over the table, resting his chin on his folded arms. “Nekoma used to be hot shit, you know.”

“Did we?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Made it to nationals a couple of times. But, we sort of… fell off. We haven’t been as good as we could be for a while. And… I want to change that.”

He pressed his lips together, his brows furrowing. “We can’t do that if we don’t work together. And I know that sounds obvious, but… we need to focus on our teamwork more. We’ll only be great if we all learn to rely on and trust each other. We’ve gotta make the best use of all our strengths while covering our weaknesses.”

You nodded, making a little noise of agreement. You couldn’t help but smile as you listened to him. This side of Kuroo – this genuine, honest one – was quickly becoming your favourite.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, sitting up straight. “Didn’t mean to ramble at you there.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” You shook your head. “Ramble all you’d like.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you for that, but he was smiling.

“Hey, Kuroo?” Normally, you wouldn’t have thought to ask the questions that were currently poking at the back of your mind. But he’d just been so honest, so open with you in a way he’d never been before. Maybe it was okay to be a little bit curious. Just this once.

“Hm?”

“I have a genuine question,” you said, folding your hands in your lap.

He looked at you, pouting a little.

“Why volleyball?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, brow creased ever so slightly. Usually, he’d just dodge a conversation like this; not because he was particularly embarrassed by it or anything like that, but because he didn’t want to talk about himself too much. He didn’t want to be rude and dominate the conversation.

But, you were asking. And, you seemed genuinely interested.

A little bit of sincerity wouldn’t hurt, right?

“My family moved here when I was pretty young,” he said, shrugging. “And I didn’t really… know how to make friends. Before I moved, I’d been part of a volleyball team. All my friends were on it, and… I had to move away from them.”

It was a little strange, trying to pull up all these memories. And trying to condense them was harder than he’d expected. “When I first met Kenma, we just played video games. I didn’t really… know how to talk to him. But he agreed to play volleyball with me, and that made things so much easier. I had something to talk about.”

You smiled to yourself, the image of a shy little Kuroo more endearing than it should be.

“I even convinced him to go to a weekend class with me,” he smiled, looking down. “You know, I even remember when I first met Coach Nekomata.”

“Huh?” You frowned.

“The old coach who used to work here. Rumour is he’ll come out of retirement sometime soon,” he smiled.

You nodded, even though you didn’t quite understand.

We bumped into him at one of those classes,” Kuroo said. “He told me, ‘do what you love, and success will come.’ I still think about that.”

Do what you love, and success will come. Yeah, that definitely sounded like something that’d resonate with Kuroo.

“Anyway, I joined the team in middle school, and that made it a lot easier to make friends,” Kuroo shrugged. “I don’t know. I love volleyball. Have for as long as I can remember. It’s fun. And… it helped me connect with people, even when… even when I couldn’t find the right words.”

He looked at you, a bit more tentative than usual. But, you were smiling, your chin propped up on one of your palms as you listened to him talk.

“Believe it or not, but I was a really shy kid.” He didn’t know why he’s still talking. And honestly, he’s a little embarrassed by it. But, you’re still listening. And for that, he’s grateful.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” you grinned.

His eyes widened a little. “Huh?”

“You think so much,” you mused, looking upwards. “But, like… in the way introverts do, you know?” You blushed, looking down at your hands. “Well, I mean… I tend to overthink everything I say, right?”

“No, really?” Kuroo gasped, covering his mouth with one hand.

“Shush,” you shot him a half-glare, suppressing the urge to stick your tongue out at him like a child. “It’s just that… I see a little bit of that in you, too. Not… massively, but it’s there.”

You couldn’t quite read his expression. It wasn’t one you’d seen before. And honestly, he wouldn’t know how to describe it himself. He was caught between the relief at being seen, at being understood, and the embarrassment of being called out. People didn’t tend to pick up on that part of him – and yet, you had.

He wasn’t used to being the one getting read.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I really didn’t mean to ramble so much.”

“Oi,” you giggled, “I said it’s fine, didn’t I?”

He raised an eyebrow at you.

“It’s nice that you care so much about the game.” You were smiling at him. Nothing unusual. But the look in your eyes was so genuine, so bright that he could feel his face burning up from looking at it.

“Yeah,” he smiled, breaking eye contact with you. God, he really didn’t know what to do in conversations like these. “Anyway, should we get back to chem?”

✉

[closet introvert] 9:22 PM: so

[YOU] 9:25 PM: so

[closet introvert] 9:25 PM: i think i’m gonna try to talk to kenma after school tomorrow

✧ ✧ ✧

If there was one thing you were fairly decent at as manager, it was looking after the first and second years. Bit by bit, you’d worked up an adequate rapport with each of them, and you had most of their personalities sorted out. Most importantly, you knew what to do when they were down.

You just had to let Yaku rant – let him shout and gripe and swear, and he’d be okay. Kai liked a constructive conversation, had in soft, measured tones, and offering a solution or two. Yamamoto wanted fire and conviction, a challenge to do better, to be better. Fukunaga liked a distraction, something to take his mind off of whatever was bothering him. Kenma liked to be left alone to sort things out for himself – but you were permitted to make him a care package or two.

You’d known Kuroo long enough by now to know that he was rather reticent when it came to his own feelings. He wasn’t the sort to talk about them upfront; you had to peer at the silences and the spaces between his words to find out what he really meant. You had to look at his behaviour; he was never too straightforward. That sort of thing seemed to overwhelm him.

That presented a bit of a problem. If he didn’t want to talk about his feelings, he simply wouldn’t. He’d deflect the conversation, or downplay how he was feeling. Sometimes he gave you bits and pieces, but he rarely spilled his true thoughts and feelings. They were exceedingly difficult to draw out of him – he had to offer them up himself. And most of the time, he bounced back pretty quickly from his more melancholic moods on his own.

But not today.

Kuroo wasn’t exactly loud. At least, not in the same way Yamamoto was – or that rambunctious wing spiker from Fukurodani. It was well within Kuroo’s abilities to be obnoxious, but he wasn’t loud. But even for him, he was being uncharacteristically quiet today.

Practice had gone fine, as far as you could tell. Nothing had gone obviously wrong, and nobody had gotten injured. From your perspective, things had even gone well. Admittedly, your knowledge of volleyball didn’t run particularly deep just yet, but you were trying your best.

Kuroo was usually so bright after practice, always grinning or cackling at something despite his exhaustion. Half the time he’d point things out to you, explaining certain moves they’d practised or formations they were trying out.

But today, he’d just picked up his bag dourly, waiting at the door for you and Kenma to leave. He’d said very little on the walk to the train station when usually he’d be rambling about something or other. You and Kenma exchanged a look; he was just as concerned as you were.

And just like you, he didn’t know how to breach the conversation.

“So… how do they even work?” You asked, blinking down at Kenma’s DS screen.

You couldn’t stand the silence for much longer. And you knew that a sure-fire way to get Kenma talking was by asking him about video games – especially optimization.

“EVs are gained by defeating specific Pokemon,” Kenma murmured. “If you defeat a Pokemon with naturally high HP like Chansey, you’ll gain EVs towards your own HP. However, you can only gain 252 EV’s towards any one stat.”

You nodded, opting to let him ramble. Usually, Kuroo would’ve led the conversation between the three of you. But, you’d valiantly taken that task up yourself today – and the easiest way to help things go smoothly was to get Kenma on a roll.

“You can gain a maximum of five-hundred and twelve total, so realistically you can only optimise two stats at a time,” he continued, eyes still glued to his screen. You took a moment to glance at Kuroo. He was staring out the window of the train, his expression worryingly forlorn. Was he even listening?

“IVs are a Pokemon’s innate capabilities.” Kenma was still going. You made an affirmative noise in the back of your throat, nodding. “A Pokemon with a high attack IV will have a naturally higher attack stat than a Pokemon with a low attack IV, even at the same level.”

On the one hand, it was nice to know that Kenma was comfortable enough with you to ramble like this. It was also nice to see Kenma talking freely; a rare and precious sight.

On the other hand, it just made you more stressed about Kuroo. He hadn’t breathed a word the entire ride. He hadn’t even taken a moment to gaze fondly at Kenma while he was rambling. And he always did that when Kenma was on a roll.

You managed to ask enough questions to fill the distance to Kenma’s house. He was speaking more than usual. That much was obvious, yes – but even for a Kenma that was geeking out, this was unusual.

And with the way his gaze kept flicking to Kuroo, you knew it was because he was truly, deeply concerned.

Kuroo still made somewhat of an effort to say goodbye to Kenma, despite his mood. The usual “make sure you don’t go to sleep too late, okay?” and “make sure you drink enough water, so you don’t get a headache.”

But before Kenma walked through his front door, he looked at you. And when you looked back, he held eye contact. Then he looked very pointedly at Kuroo, who was staring up at the sky. By the time you turned to look at Kenma again, he was already scurrying through his front door.

“You ready?” Kuroo asked, now looking at you.

You nodded, half-jogging to join him on the street. Even today, even when it seemed like he just wanted to go home and sleep, he was still walking you home. Sure, your house wasn’t all that far from his, but he still went out of his way every night, just to make sure you felt comfortable.

That quiet thoughtfulness was part of who he was. You’d seen him direct it at Kenma all the time.

The same Kenma who’d just sent you a silent plea.

The Kenma, who never looked you in the eyes for longer than half a second.

The Kenma, who had just asked you to speak to his best friend.

That was all the push you needed.

“Hey, Kuroo?” You murmured.

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” You asked.

Kuroo looked at you, one eyebrow raised. He was torn.

Should he really burden you with this? Was it right for him to worry you again?

But you’re looking at him with such genuine concern, such genuine care. And the advice you’d given him when he was worried about Kenma had been both helpful and effective. And surely, you wouldn’t have asked that question if you didn’t want a proper answer, right?

Fuck it, he thought.

“I feel like I’m not measuring up,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “My blocking hasn’t been improving. And I don’t know why. I’ve been trying to work on my read blocking but I just can’t get it down. I can’t even fix the problem because I don’t know what the problem is.”

He took a deep breath, his steps slowing to a stop. “I convinced Kenma to stay on, but I’m not a team-mate he can be proud of.”

“Kuroo…”

You looked at him, cloaked in the shadows of the street. His gaze was cast at the ground, his brow furrowed and the smallest of pouts on his lips. You wanted to hug him, but you weren’t sure if that’d help.

You didn’t quite know what to say. You knew what it was like to get caught up in your own insecurities – you were sure most people did. You knew he couldn’t see himself the way you saw him; tenacious, hard-working, passionate.

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you murmured. No, that was too soft – too wishy-washy. “I know that it… seems kind of silly for me to say, but you are.”

You clenched your fists to steel yourself, taking a step closer to him. That got his attention – he looked up at you, eyes slightly wide.

“You feel like you’re not measuring up, or that you’re not improving… but I don’t see it that way.” It was true. You watched him push himself harder each and every day, improving little by little. And when he wasn’t, he’d learn from those mistakes.

“It must be easy to lose yourself on the court, but from where I’m standing… you’re improving every day.” Your eyes searched his face, looking for any indication that your words were having some kind of impact.

“And… you don’t need to be the world’s best middle blocker, you know?” You said, tilting your head at him. “You’re good, Kuroo. And you know you’ve got space to improve – that’s your strength. That makes you a team-mate worth being proud of.”

He was staring at you, eyes still wide. The dim light of the street hid the blush on his cheeks. For that, he was thankful.

“Uh…” He felt like he should say something. But he didn’t quite know what. ‘Thank you’ would’ve been the natural response, but those words just wouldn’t come.

“Sorry,” you blushed, your nerves finally catching up with you as you looked away from him. “I didn’t mean to… push your boundaries or anything like that, but… if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Had you overstepped his boundaries? Had you made him uncomfortable? Those questions plagued you for the rest of the way home, Kuroo still quiet and reticent at your side.

You hadn’t overstepped his boundaries at all. Kuroo just couldn’t find the right words, even as you closed the distance to your house.

In all honesty, he’s touched. Touched that you cared so much. Touched that you reached out, even though he could tell how nervous you were. Touched that you were paying that much attention.

As he walked through the door of his own home, he couldn’t get the image of you looking up at him so resolutely out of his head.

He’d have to thank some deity above for the fact you were bad at chemistry, wouldn’t he?

✉

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:57 PM: hey so uh

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:57 PM: i just wanted to say thanks

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:58 PM: for listening to me be all emotional like that

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:58 PM: i put a lot on you but you were really nice about it

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:59 PM: so yeah

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:59 PM: thanks

[YOU] 10:59 PM: NO! DON’T APOLOGISE!

[japan’s okayest tutor] 10:59 PM: !?!?!?!

[YOU] 11:00 PM: honestly, i don’t mind! and i’m happy to listen :(

[YOU] 11:00 PM: i’m here if you need to talk to anyone, okay?

[japan’s okayest tutor] 11:04 PM: you too

✧ ✧ ✧

You were alone.

Your sobs were the only sound fracturing the fragile silence of the empty gym as you slumped against the wall, your knees brought up to your chest.

Why did you have to fuck up so bad? You’d managed to survive your first year with no drama, the only cause of concern being your studies. They were overwhelming enough to deal with on their own. You’d certainly felt down about your grades and whatnot before, but those ruts were a little easier to pull yourself out of. ‘They’re just grades,’ you’d try and tell yourself. ‘You can improve next time. And they don’t define you as a person.’ Even if you didn’t quite believe any of that, it was nice to have some rhetoric to at least attempt to counteract those thoughts.

But now? Now you truly felt alone. Like no-one cared about you.

You felt like you deserved it. Like anyone who cared about you was wasting their time. Like you were taking up their time and attention undeservedly.

It was all too overwhelming.

The pain choked you. Every thought, every feeling you’d been trying to fend off for so long ripped through you like an arrow.

Fuck, why couldn’t you just hold yourself together? Why did you have to be so weak?

You let go. And you cried. And cried. And cried.

The sound shattered the vacuous silence of the gym. You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there, letting your sobs rack through your body.

Your throat was sore.

Your eyes stung.

You were alone.

And you deserved it.

“Woah.”

You froze. You knew that voice.

“Hey.” Kuroo knelt in front of you, his hands finding their way to your forearms. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He was knelt in front of you, eyebrows knitted together as his eyes roamed your face.

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Shit, why was he here? Why hadn’t he just headed home?

You didn’t want anyone to see you like this. You didn’t want to worry them.

Kuroo’s arms found their way around you, coaxing you gently towards his chest. You collapsed into him, burying your face in his chest.

Fuck, that didn’t help at all. Your sobs came with more voracity, rawer and harsher than they had been.

He just held you, chin propped on your head and one hand rubbing your back. He didn’t say anything; he knew you didn’t need that right now. He knew that in moments like this, it was nice just to be held. To feel like someone’s there.

And then slowly, breath by breath, everything seemed to calm. Your sobs grew softer and softer against his chest, his gentle hums setting a new rhythm for your fractured mind. He was grounding you; each touch, each sound was an attempt to bring you back down to earth. You could tell it wasn’t the most comfortable position for him, crouched awkwardly in front of you while holding you to his chest, but he stayed.

He stayed until your breathing had levelled out, and your grip on his shirt had loosened.

“There you go,” Kuroo murmured, letting you go. He shifted to sit next to you, and you immediately missed his warmth. You found a little comfort as he looped an arm around your shoulder.

You took a long, shaky breath. You weren’t sure how long you’d keep it together for, but you were glad for the reprieve.

“What are you doing here?” You sniffed, rubbing your nose with the back of your hand. He shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have made him worry about you.

“You didn’t show up for our little study session,” he said, eyebrows knitted together. “I tried texting you, but you didn’t respond. And I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Shit. You’d forgotten to tell him you’d ‘headed home early.’

“I was worried about you,” he murmured, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

You swallowed roughly, the guilt bubbling up in your chest.

“I’m sorry–”

“No.” Kuroo shook his head. “Don’t apologize. If you need to get it out, you need to get it out.”

You bit your lip, looking down at your hands. Your knuckles blanched pale as you clenched the fabric of your skirt.

“And,” he swallowed, “if you need to talk to someone… I’m here.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you felt everything rush back. The fight. The loneliness. The insomnia.

Kuroo didn’t need to hear this. And you didn’t want to burden him with this.

But God, you needed to talk to someone.

“I- I had an argument with Hana,” you sniffed, fingers playing with the hem of your jacket.

You could barely remember how it started. Something stupid, probably. Something immature. But it had blown way out of proportion, and she wasn’t speaking to you anymore. You’d been spending your lunchtimes alone, behind the gym or in an empty classroom. You didn’t have the strength to face the rest of your friends, nor did you know what she’d been telling them.

It had struck at the worst possible time, too. The usual anxieties about grades and the future had been compounding recently. You’d been a bit more down than usual, and this whole Hana debacle had exacerbated that. You were usually able to manage feelings like this, finding ways to keep your head above water.

But not this time.

“I just,” you swallowed, squeezing your eyes shut. “I just feel like something’s missing. And, and I’m… there’s… there’s this gap in my heart, and I don’t know how to stop feeling so empty.”

You took a deep breath, feeling it tremble through your body. “But… but I also just feel so numb.”

And all of it, even the numbness, was overwhelming. No matter how desperately you tried to distract yourself, you couldn’t. Nothing worked. You’d lost too many nights sitting at the bottom of your shower, letting the water run down your back as your mind ran in the same repeating circles.

You were exhausted.

“And part of me,” you swallowed, your throat rough and dry as your emotions tried to hammer themselves into something coherent. “Part of me feels like… like it’s wrong to feel like this.”

God, that felt stupid. Stupid, but true. On top of everything, you felt defunct.

And frankly, you couldn’t say why. Was it shame? Guilt? Something else?

“Hey.” Kuroo’s voice was low, almost soft as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “You’re gonna feel what you’re gonna feel,” he murmured, “You shouldn’t feel guilty about that, okay?”

He felt you tremble as you tried to take a deep breath.

He knew that your pain wasn’t a one-to-one reflection of his own. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to understand exactly what you were going through.

But he knew what it was like to be a small child, so afraid, so alone, without an understanding of what was really going on around him.

He knew what it was like to feel as if something was missing, like there was a constant gap in your heart. He’d felt that way when his parents had split up. He’d only been a kid, too young to properly comprehend why that had been happening.

All he had known was that his family had crumbled to pieces around him. And then his mother was gone, half a world away with little more than a kiss on his forehead as a goodbye. He hadn’t been ready for it. He had felt like he might never be.

That feeling of separation had followed him, even into his teen years. It was quieter now, a half-whisper on the bad days. Usually, he could ignore it, setting his mind to more productive concerns. But, it never quite disappeared.

Kuroo knew what it was like to be lonely.

And he hated seeing you go through the exact same thing.

Lonely. Afraid. Probably hoping that someone, somewhere, would acknowledge your pain.

That was the worst part. Wanting your suffering to be known. Wanting someone to look at all of it, to see it for what it was. But no matter how palpable that desire was, how desperately you wanted it, it was too terrifying. To speak up was to be a burden. To speak up was to expose yourself to pity; and that was always the last thing you needed.

Pity’s useless. All you were asking for, all you really wanted was understanding. Acknowledgment. To have someone see.

He knew exactly what that was like.

“You, uh…” The sentiment caught in his throat, somehow both persistent and reticent.

“You don’t have to do this alone.”

They were the very words he’d wished someone had said to him all those years ago. The words he’d wanted someone to offer him, a child who didn’t know how to reach out. To cry out for help.

And in that moment, with his arms around the manager who had looked after him and his boys so well, Kuroo felt that call.

✉

[passable at best] 8:30 PM: hey

[passable at best] 8:30 PM: how are you feeling?

[YOU] 8:45 PM: alright

[YOU] 8:45 PM: i ate dinner and i’ve just been watching youtube

[YOU] 8:46 PM: and i’ve been drinking a lot of water

[passable at best] 8:46 PM: i’m glad to hear that

[passable at best] 8:46 PM: make sure you get an early night, yeah?

[YOU] 8:47 PM: i’ll try

[passable at best] 8:47 PM: and if you need anything, please text me

✧ ✧ ✧

"Come to the temple with me."

The surprise was evident on your face. You’re glad he couldn’t see you. "What… just us?"

"Yeah." There's a pause. An almost painful one. "I couldn't get Kenma to leave the house, so…"

You pretended you weren’t disappointed. If anyone could see you, they wouldn't be convinced.

"Oh, well, uh…" Your fists curled into your nightgown. "Sure."

"Great!" You could hear the smile in his voice. It's the one you like best; full of sunlight, pure and whole. The one that reached his eyes. "I'll, uh… see you at eight?"

Usually, if someone had called you at seven-thirty in the morning, you would've simply ignored them. But when you’d seen that it was him, you’d answered immediately. The lack of hesitation was almost frightening.

There was no reason that your fondness for a certain Kuroo Tetsurou should scare you. You just knew that you adored the guy. In less than a year, he’d become one of your favourite people. And, he’d been such a solid support for you. Of course you’d go to the temple with him.

But as you stood at the temple steps, swallowed up by a coat and two jumpers, you wondered if anyone was worth being this cold for.

“Sorry I’m late.”

You glared up at him, nose embarrassingly red.

“What?” He groaned, hands dug deep in his pockets.

“It’s cold.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“It’s eight in the morning.”

“Hey,” he grinned, reaching up and ruffling your hair with a gloved hand. “You could’ve said no.”

You huffed. Unfortunately, he was right.

“Well, I’m touched,” he chuckled, looking up at the sky. “It’s a nice morning, though.” He looked back down at you with a grin. He was far too peppy for this hour of the morning. “You ready?”

The walk up the steps was almost laborious, given just how cold it was. Your breath misted in front of you as you told each other about your first dreams of the year; he’s still regaling a tale about Kenma turning into a dragon with five heads and chasing him through the streets of Tokyo by the time you reach the fortunes.

You tried to shake off the superstitious jitters as you carefully chose one of the knots on the string. Kuroo showed much less care.

As you read the fortune written out on your strip, you let out a surreptitious sigh of relief. You looked at Kuroo, tilting your head.

“What’d you get?” You sniffled. You hoped you wouldn’t get a cold from this.

“Bad luck,” he said, turning the strip towards you.

You snorted. “Oh, ow.”

He shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.” His expression said otherwise; it was that half-grimace he had whenever he didn’t want to admit he was wrong. Or that Bokuto had done something cool.

“Really?” You grinned, tilting your head at him. “You’re not bothered by it at all?”

“Alright, what did you get then?” He peered down at you, puffing out his chest.

“A little luck.” You held your strip towards him, and he scowled.

“Bad luck’s more exciting,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be mad about it,” you smiled, nudging him with your elbow. “God just likes me more.”

“Oi,” he huffed, ruffling your hair with a cold hand.

“Hey!” You wacked his hand away, but he just cackled.

“Anyway, you’ve forgotten the most important part of a temple visit,” he yawned, looking back at the fortunes lined up on the strings.

“Hm?” You frowned.

"You gotta make a promise," he sniffled, his fortune scrunched up in his hand.

You pouted, your hands dug deep in your pockets. A promise, huh? Did he mean a wish? You weren’t about to argue the point. He’d win it, anyway.

“You go first,” you mumbled, a little embarrassed by the fact that nothing was coming to mind.

He paused, staring at you for a moment. You squinted back, perhaps half as a challenge.

"Hm," Kuroo puffed his cheeks out, looking up at the sky for a moment. "I promise… to always be there for you. No matter what."

You blushed. What sort of promise was that? And why did it make you feel like… this?

Thwump!

You were only half aware of it as you punched him in the stomach.

“What was that for?” He wheezed, hands clamped on his stomach as he stumbled back a few steps.

“You can’t say things like that!” You whined, feeling the colour in your cheeks growing deeper.

“Why not?” There was something a little too genuine in his frown.

“Because I was going to say something really lame!” It was only eight-thirty in the morning, and Kuroo had already worked his way under your skin. And you weren’t entirely sure he’d meant to. “If I knew you were gonna say something like that, I’d’ve said it back.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You still can, you know.”

“Oh.” Yeah. You could.

That was all he needed. In an instant, that familiar grin was once again adorning his face, and he was towering over you. A little closer than maybe was appropriate.

“Is that… a blush I see?” Oh, he looked far too pleased with himself. You had half a mind to punch him again.

“Shut up,” you huffed.

“Aw, have I made you all embarrassed?” He grinned, ruffling your hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words spoiled by his fake pout.

“If you don’t shut up, I won’t say it,” you threatened, glaring at him as resolutely as you could. The weird twang in your chest made it more difficult than it usually was.

He shut his mouth immediately, eyes a little bigger and much more expectant than usual.

“Kuroo Tetsurou–”

“Are you about to propose?”

“You know what? Nevermind–”

“No, no, no! I’m sorry!” His shoulders were slouched towards you, head tilted to the side and a bright smile on his face. “I’ll shut up.”

You took a deep breath. It certainly felt a bit like you were trying to propose to him. You shuffled that thought out of your mind as quickly as you could. Once again, Kuroo had put you in a situation you hadn’t quite anticipated.

“No matter what comes, and no matter how irritating you are–”

“Hey!”

“–I promise that I’ll be there to support you,” you managed to say, cheeks flaring and fists clenched. “I… really care about you.”

You couldn’t bear the look he was giving you. It was the look you’d give something you positively adored – something you believed would bring nothing but light to your life. It was a look so full of affection that you felt like you might shatter beneath it.

He reached out and wrapped you in his arms, pulling you gently into his chest. You snuck your arms under his jacket, circling them around his waist. You’d done it mostly on instinct, but you weren’t upset about it. It’s warm, and it’s nice, and you didn’t want to question it.

There’s too much to worry about – studies, volleyball, the fact that it’s really not all that long until you’re third years. That took precedence. Whatever’s going on here – whatever this was – couldn’t take priority.

All you knew for certain was that you loved Kuroo Tetsurou. In what way didn’t matter. And this in-between, this unnamed space was comfortable. And, as far as you could tell, it belonged to both of you. If he didn’t want to say anything about it, then neither did you.

✉

[i can be your angle] 5:21 PM: hey hey

[YOU] 5:21 PM: hey hey hey!

[i can be your angle] 5:21 PM: no don’t do that

[i can be your angle] 5:21 PM: anyway, i just wanted to make sure you’re practicing appropriate after-cold care

[YOU] 5:21 PM: why do you always have to phrase things Like That

[i can be your angle] 5:22 PM: no idea what you’re talking about

[i can be your angle] 5:22 PM: anyway, drink a tea or two, stick a heat pack (or seven) in the microwave, and rug up

[i can be your angle] 5:22 PM: can’t have you going and catching a cold

#haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo imagine #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuuwritersnet #once again what are tags #i didn't want to cut this up but it got Too Long i'm so sorry #n e way hope you like it??#the in between

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

Text

Touch My Heart

Summary: The heart wants what it wants.

Author’s note: I tried really hard to accept the ending of Mr. Queen and I was able to find enjoyment in watching the characters that I had grown to love but after deep consideration, I can’t truly accept what happened to Bong Hwan, it’s just too cruel despite knowing how homosexuality is viewed in Korea. If that was the plan he should have never been made to fall in love with the King and they should have merely been friends working together for the greater good. no romance if it was going to be thrown away in minutes. If they wanted to include hot make out scenes then make it known that Soyong is taking control of her body and this is not what BH wants, but he’s taking the backseat in those moments. Let it be known that they are both in there but the romantic feelings are solely from SY. Don’t let BH wrestle with his sexuality and accept that he loves the King only to leave him with nothing back in his world, he grew from the experience but at the cost of what? His sanity. Anyway, yes I changed my mind. I The couple I fell in love watching was BH and Cheoljongie and that’s probably the only couple, I’ll write about. Maybe when I see more of SY in the spin off I’ll grow fond of her, but to me Cheoljong’s heart belongs to BH and just because SY loves him doesn’t mean she deserves him, the same way Byeong-In didn’t deserve her.

A month goes by, the most splendid month she's ever spent in the palace. Walking around the castle grounds, there are always jubilant faces; servants greeting her with wide grins instead of the fear she used to evoke, she smiles back now instead of trying to thwart their happiness. It feels like someone has lit a torch in her once pitch black life, what she thought was a pointless existence now suddenly has a meaning and purpose.

And it's all thanks to him, this mysterious man from the future. Jang Bong Hwan. When she jumped into that lake she had expected death, and nothing more. She didn’t have a plan, she just didn’t want to suffer anymore. Everywhere she turned there were locked doors and there was no way out. Suicide was a sin but she would gladly accept her punishment, living her life was worst than any hell she could imagine.

But rather than death she was locked in the deep crevice of her mind.

Seeing and hearing all but unable to say or do anything, a vegetable in her own body. But fright melted away to admiration, this strange man was brave beyond belief; standing up to those who had made her existence a living hell. Despite all the step backs and their many attempts at his life, their life he hadn’t given up finding new ways to fight back every time. Without even trying he had accomplished her one desire in life-to be the owner of the King's heart. She watched in awe as the icy barricade erected around his heart became to thaw, no match for the fiery force of the time traveler.

She watched as they fell in love and although it was her body, they were his feelings. Feelings that had taken time and effort to grow, it was torture to not be the one experiencing that. Then like a gift from the heavens she was back, restored to her rightful place. When she'd awoken to the King's tearful eyes, his mouth wide and twisted in pain she knew she would do anything to make him happy. This was her second chance and she wouldn't waste it.

Everything had changed while she'd been away. Everyone had changed.

Court Lady Choi and Hong Yeon looked at her at times, curious eyes unblinking. As if they were waiting for something, but she didn't know what. She was behaving as the perfect queen, listening the Court Lady's every complaint without agitation, they should have been happy but instead they kept looking confused and longing like there was something that wasn’t quite right. She futilely tried to convince herself it was simply her imagination.

However, it was not solely them. The King was the worst, they shared a bed every night and in the beginning she'd been elated at this occurrence. Until about a week ago, when he'd asked her a question she couldn't answer.

"My Queen, there is another word from your dictionary I need help understanding. What is the meaning of this?" He crawled closer to her, shifting the silk bedding beneath them. Once she got over the pleasure of having him so close, fear set in.

His finger was underneath a word, she'd never seen before in her life.

Fraud.

She tried to sound it out mentally, taking his syllable separately but it still sounded foreign and she watched his anticipation dissipate as he awaited her reply. He continued to stare intensely at her, his brows furrowing as the seconds dragged by.

"My Queen?" The tone of his voice unsettled her, he looked desperate for a reply and dread settled in her stomach. She wasn't who he thought she was and the look on his eyes made it evident, knowing the truth would irreversibly change their relationship.

So she did something unthinkable.

Clutching at her stomach, she feigned pain watching him push the book aside to grab her, wrapping her in his embrace as he rubbed her back. Whispering soothing sounds into her hair. She pressed her face into his neck, miserably. This was the life she'd yearned for, why were things still not as they should be?

She'd fallen asleep, too shamed to allow him to hold her that night. He hadn't tried to change her mind, rolling over and turning his back to her. It felt like they had moved back to step one.

She'd kept her distance following that incident, needing a moment to process her thoughts without her love for him clouding her mind. He hadn't tried to visit her either, instead sending letters to check on her and their unborn child. She felt the wall being built and she didn't know what to do to stop its insurrection.

Sneaking away without her court ladies noticing she went for a late night stroll, hoping to clear her thoughts of the King, Her luck must have been running out because instead she stumbled onto a conversation that was not meant for her ears.

Her intention hadn't been to eavesdrop but she couldn't walk away, it piqued her interest too much.

"The King seems different these days, wouldn't you agree?" The usual jovial voice of Special Director Hong was serious as he asked the question, using a cloth to clean a long gleaming gun as he stared up at the King's brother.

The prince stopped sharpening his sword for a moment to consider the question, after a long pause he nodded in agreement.

"Yes. He seems troubled and he has not been visiting her highness. Each day he sighs while holding a strange book. He seems lost.".

"What do you think could be bothering him? He has everything he's ever dreamed of. The kingdom is doing better than ever and he's expecting a child. This should be the happiest moment of his life."

The Prince sighs shrugging before replying in a hushed voice, "I've not seen him like this since he learned that Hwa Jin was not the one from the well. He acted this way then too."

It feels like a dagger through her chest, stumbling back she rushes back to Daejojeon hall with her heart in shambles. What am I doing? She feels nauseous at the comparison, she was fooling the King and she doesn’t know how much longer she can continue this farce.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To say the Queen is acting strange is an understatement, she is acting like someone completely different. He waited for her to drop the honorifics, thinking she was teasing him and this was meant to be a joke but she didn’t, instead she she began acting like a proper Queen and easily following the suggestions of her Court Lady to both of their dismay. What was wrong with her? Had she hit her head and forgotten that she was meant to be a loveable headache and not a soothing summer breeze?

She's still the same beautiful woman, looking at her evokes the same lust and admiration but speaking to her confuses him; in that she no longer uses words he cannot understand and her behavior is that of a trained Queen. He’s confused but her lack of confusion. She's being extremely consistent and he's never been more perplexed and thrown off kilter in his life.

He finds himself yearning for something he cannot name. Looking at her in the hopes he'll find what he's looking for and instead of a mischievous grin or an arrogant smirk, he's always greeted with the same serene smile. It's pretty but it's not the smile he's grown to love these past few months. It reminds him of the Soyong he'd met during that rain shower, someone he didn't know but found appealing.

They haven't slept together, despite sharing a bed. All of his advances have gone unnoticed, where as before it simply took them being in the same room to ignite a flame in both of their loins. Once he'd followed the Queen into a pantry, hearing her grumbling about nosy head chefs but once she noticed his presence, it only took seconds before they were ripping at each other's clothing. They'd been missing each other all week and he was practically starved for her. It was clear the feeling was exceptionally mutual. He'd taken her against the wall, hard with her egging him on and whispering pure filth in his ears.

"Fuck! Yes right there, don't be gentle. Fuck me until I can't walk, come on harder!"

He had no idea what that word she said meant, fuck but he was powerless against her commands flipping her around to pound into her from behind, a position that she had taught him. She wailed rocking back shamelessly to meet his harsh thrusts, the sound of her nails scratching the wall making his skin hot. Skrrrrrrrr. They slammed into each other until his legs were tense from the position and she wordlessly took over, separating them with a loud wet squelch before pushing him to the ground and riding him like a wild stallion. He had watched helpless as she bounced on top, her breasts jumping freely as she shoved him deep inside of her tight grip. When they were finished, he was dazed and breathless. She'd looked at him with barely opened eyes, slowly licking her lips looking like sin personified before patting his cheek.

"I needed that. Thanks for screwing my brains out." She barked slipping off his softening cock, he watched mesmerized as his spent dripped from her precious place.

More words he didn't fully comprehend but her satisfaction was obvious and that was all he needed. He'd preened under her, feeling himself swell again at her words.

She raised one eyebrow at the sudden press of hard skin in her thigh.

"Come visit me tonight. We need to make up for lost time."

They had made love until his cock couldn't get hard anymore and she'd collapsed next to him, splayed with her breasts bitten red and his seed leaking from her well used hole.

Something had changed but he couldn't place what it was exactly. He tried brushing it off but it gnawed at him until he couldn't hold it in and he'd broken down and asked her about the Queen's dictionary. He'd purposely chosen the word knowing exactly what it was. His Queen had used it several times to describe the corrupt members of the royal court. They'd all been frauds, living a lie wolf in sheep’s clothing.

He thought that would put his mind at ease but instead it had been the opposite; her hesitation solidified his fear, there was something afoot and he had to know what it was.

He sighs stroking at the book, he always keeps by his side.

"What am I missing?"

Before he can get too lost in his thoughts the head eunuch enters the room, bowing all the way.

"Your majesty, the Queen has come to visit you."

He looks up at the announcement, his usual excitement doused by his doubts but his heart does lurch at her arrival. His Queen did not care about propriety, coming to this chambers at such an indecent hour was a great sign. That was more like the Queen he'd grown to love. Maybe he had been overthinking and there was nothing amiss after all.

"Let her in." He straightens up, moving the scrolls to the side to give her his full attention.

He watches as she bows gracefully, before sitting down. Far away from him. A ball forms in his throat, he'd gotten used to sharing his space with her; and sharing his table during their late night talks. She didn't appear to have any intentions of joining him at the surface despite the constant occurrence of that happening the months prior. He tries to but he couldn't keep the disappointment off his face.

"My Queen what brings you here so lat--"

"I'm not who you think I am." She interrupts, staring down at the floor instead of looking into his eyes. Strange again, she was typically so good at maintaining eye contact at times even unnerving him.

He tenses at her exclamation, mouth falling open in shock. What did she mean? Who else could she possibly be if not his Queen?

"What are you saying? Are you feeling sick?"

She ignores his inquires, "You've noticed. That I'm different. I can see the way you look at me, the way everyone looks at me, like you're all waiting for something. I'm not that person."

He tilts his head, trying to understand her meaning but he can't decipher what she's trying to say. He tries to reconcile the two versions of the Queen he's come to know, the wild untamed Queen he fell in love with and this poised and tactful Queen he was a stranger to. The two don't make sense in his mind.

"The person you fell in love with..."

He stares at her intensely almost scared to hear the rest of her sentence but knowing he must, his biggest fear was living a lie and not having control over his fate. Holding his breath he impatiently waits.

"That wasn't me. Do you remember what I said to you the day after I woke up?"

He storms his memory trying to recall her words oh so long ago. Then it hits him, those crazy words coming out of her mouth.

I'm really a man. From the future.

He had paid her no attention than, barely wanting to be in her presence much less listening to her tall tales about something that couldn't be true. She was clearly a woman and the second claim held no possibility at all. But they'd had conversations later too about those same ideas, right in the spot he was sitting now.

She'd taught him about things he could only dream of- democracy, voting, people born with spoons, even people who loved others who shared the same sex. He'd been confused about the last one but she had explained it simply, "Love is love. Who cares what they have between their legs?" Worded in such a manner, he'd found it impossible to argue with her. Love was indeed, love.

"Are you saying that this was true? How can that be? You are here right now. Who are you then?"

She sighed finally looking at him, face cloaked in sadness.

"I'm Kim Soyong, the person you are in love with is Jang Bong Hwan. He was controlling this body after I jumped into the lake. He's the one that helped you and he's the one that was willing to die for you."

He gasps leaning back in his chair, before bringing up a hand to cover his face, scrubbing wordlessly at his skin.

"I know this is shocking but I couldn't lie to you anymore, you kept looking for him and it's clear I'm not the one you want." Her voice is soft, barely a whisper and guilt spreads at her assessment- she's right and he's guilty that he can't deny it.

A sad smile fills her face, "Don't feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong. I should have fought harder to have the life I wanted, I thought death was my only option but I should have chosen to live. I didn't love myself enough to fight."

He's suddenly transported to that night by the lake, her eyes glowing with tears as she begged him to love her, to understand her. He hadn't been able to see that moment clearly then, assuming it was a command and that she was another evil member of the Kim Clan. She'd loved him but he couldn't see it then too blinded by his thirst for vengeance.

But he sees it now. Clear as daylight.

"I'm sorry."

She seems paralyzed by his unexpected apology but before she can cut him off he continues, "I'm sorry I couldn't understand you. I was too blinded by revenge to see you that you were a victim too. I should have tried to understand you." He owes her at least that much, but he can't say that he wishes things were different. It would be falsehood. If she hadn't done that unspeakable act of throwing herself into the lake he would have never met Jang Bong Hwan, the man he loved.

It was selfish but he wouldn't have changed anything, it was all worth it for those fleeting moments they spent together.

"Is he gone now? Back to where he belonged? Is he....happy?" He's broken at the idea that he'll never see him again, they never even got to say good bye. Was he alone now with no one to comfort him? Did he struggle to fall asleep too? It hurts that he will never know.

"I think so."

That has to be enough then, he has to accept things for what they are. It was against the rules of time that they crashed into each other's orbit, fates hand had taken a wrong turn and this was the Queen he was supposed to be with, he understood her now. He didn't hate her. He could grow to accept her and his fate and move on, he had to.

But his heart rips remembering her- no him wrapping the scarf around his neck, the first time he saw the embroidered CJ and how it brought him to tears. His grunts as he carried him from the well and let him hold him until he fell asleep. His face as he'd reached for him after the explosion, the distress and panic. How was he supposed to forget any of those moments? How was he supposed to go on living without Jang Bong Hwan?

"Thank you for telling me."

"That's not all I came here to tell you."

His head spins, nervous about what other information she could possibly have to tell him. He still hasn't processed this, both that he's been in love with a man and that he'll never see this man again.

"I want to give him my body."

All the whirling in his brain shuts down at her utterance. Finally, his mind is silent.

"What?"

She repeats with more confidence, "I want to bring him back. I want to give him back this body."

He stifles his glee at the suggestion, knowing that he can't allow her to do such a thing. This was her body, her life, how could he allow her to throw herself into the lake again? He was a better man now, he wouldn't stand by as she took her life, not this time.

"No. I can't let you do that. My happiness is not worth more than your life, I will get past this I promise you. I will stop looking at you with expectations, I'll accept who you are." He will grow to think of her fondly, she's the mother of his child he will make space for her in his heart.

He watches as a single tear streams down her cheek, "Can you promise that you'll grow to love me, the way you love him?"

He's frozen at the question, he stares wide eyed at her. Immediately knowing the truth, avoiding her eyes as he stares at his palms. He can't make that promise when his heart only beats for one, he stays silent knowing that his silence speaks volumes.

"Would things have been different if I hadn't been from the Kim Clan?” She asks him again, the question that had tipped her over the edge and he feels all the regret and guilt in his body and this time he answers honestly.

"Yes. They might have, I could have accepted you better. But I love him now, I wouldn't change anything because it all brought me to him. I can't apologize for how things went." He knows those aren't the words she longs to hear but he can't give those to her, he can't accept her feelings.

"Maybe in a different universe, we could have been something more." She says heartbroken, face wet with tears now.

Maybe. But he doesn't want to find out. He wants this universe with the one who holds his heart.

She bows before standing, "I've made up my mind. I'm doing this for myself as well, I can't live my life as a shell. I want to find my own happiness too."

He watches as she walks out the room, never looking back.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He doesn't understand her full intention until days later, he watches puzzled as Hong Yeon, the Queen's most loyal court maid comes barreling towards him. Her face is red with exertion and something that looks like terror. He feels the same emotions coming to life in his body as he watches her pant and struggle to speak.

"What's wrong? Speak! What happened?" He commands, impatiently waiting for a reply.

"Your majesty, it's the Queen." She cries, a cascade of tears falling from her eyes and he doesn’t wait for any clarification before he bolts off to Daejojeon hall, hoping that he's not too late. He couldn't afford to lose anyone else.

#Mr.Queen #queen cheorin #king cheoljong #jang bong hwan #Kim So-yong #finale fix it #it was too painful despite my silver linings #no touch princess #mr.queen

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fayeimara · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

Episode 3. Angel's Blessing | Pt 1

Your weeks in Miyagi flew by so fast, you're a little sad that you'll shortly be heading to stay with your aunt and uncle in Tokyo soon. It didn't feel like you'd spent nearly enough time with Toshi. You'd also had only a couple days to visit Tobio and Miwa, your cousins from your mom's side that also lived in Miyagi, but you didn't realize it wouldn't be nearly enough time. You'd had to promise him, Miwa, and their parents that you would stay with them the next time you visited.

You had a little over a week left here and Toshi and the guys from Shiratorizawa had just started their summer break so it was the perfect excuse to make the most of your time left while taking them out to celebrate. You'd gotten to know them well during your stay, with constant drop ins to their practices - You could swear even Coach Washijo had warmed up to you! ...or maybe just gotten used to tolerating your presence.

You'd also spent a lot of time chilling with the guys on their time off but that was usually chilling indoors playing video games at one of their places or stopping by cute little shops. Toshi, Tendou, and Semi had even come shopping with you a couple times which was a hilarious circus in itself but you repaid the laughs you got by torturing them and buying them gifts. Although you didn't realize it wasn't quite regular at first but they got used to it... well, at the very least Semi stopped getting flustered and just let you have your way.

It's not like you couldn't afford it and when you said that to his face, he literally just rolled his eyes and said something about rich kids which you threw back in his face because... hypocritical! At least you had your own hard-earned money, but you just refused to tell him how and why it was still so much and you think he was kind of concerned now.

Regardless, you'd be leaving soon and you really wanted a special night to commemorate this trip and your new friendships so you told the guys that you all were having a nice dinner somewhere, your treat. They protested that at first but you stood firm and finally they picked the nice sushi restaurant you were headed to for dinner tonight.

Hence, you out here in a chic semi-formal outfit, which is basically a cute dress and flats with a couple layered necklaces and matching bracelets on each wrist.

"Y/n!" You're standing with Toshi and Tendou, already outside the restaurant when you hear your name. Looking over, you see Semi, Yamagata and Soekawa walk up to the three of you.

"Thank you so much for offering to treat us tonight!" Soekawa says as they reach you.

Semi's scowling like usual but he sounds relaxed when he adds, "Yeah, although it really should be us treating you."

You laugh and shake your head, "No way! I'm just so glad to have made great friends like you guys here, how can I not want to celebrate our friendship before I leave?"

"I wish you could stay." Yamagata's looking down both literally and figuratively, "You could come to Shiratorizawa and we could chill all the time like we have been."

"Aw, you'll still have me!" Tendou exclaims with his arms up in the air. He's moving towards Yamagata, who dodges before he replies.

"We see you every day! It's not the same, she's actually nice and doesn't always poke fun at us for every little thing!"

You giggle at them because their dynamic is great, yeah, but what you think he really means without saying it is that all these boys need is some platonic estrogen in their lives.

Tendou narrows his eyes at you when he hears though and you think he knows you well enough to know you're amused at their expense so you're ready for his move.

"Hmm..." He pretends to think, "Maybe if we kidnap her, she'd miss her train to Tokyo and have to stay here longer!"

Before he even finishes his sentence, he's running at you and you're embarrassed to say you shriek in surprise before spinning to run away, calling over your shoulder, "It doesn't work that way! I'd just get on a train the next day!"

Too bad you're not watching where you're going because you run right into a wall in your path. Just a metaphor this time because this wall stumbles back with a soft 'oof-' as its arms reach out to wrap around and steady you while you fall over together.

Oh my god, you just ran into, and took down, chocolate boy- you mean chocolate eyes. Wait, no- "Oikawa!" His name slips from your lips in disbelief as you look up at his face and then your face turns to what you're betting is a very embarrassed shade of red - and for too many different reasons, oh god.

He's a little stunning stunned but you think that's from the fall so you can't fault him when he responds, "Angel?"

Tendou's standing right by the two of you and you swear this boy really doesn't know how not to tease in an already pretty embarrassing situation because he just has to say, "So.. Y/n. Getting up off of our rival anytime soon?"

"I'm so sorry!" You blurt out again as you carefully try to move off him without using him as leverage since, you know, he just took the brunt of a fall that was your fault for the both of you. You also don't want to embarrass yourself any further by accidentally placing your hands anywhere intimate inappropriate.

His arms only release slightly and he's already sitting up while you're kind of maneuvering your limbs to find purchase on the ground around and in between him so you end up basically straddling his leg and your faces too close for comfort in that split second before you stand back up. And you never want to think of this again. Like if there was ever a time for a hole to open up and swallow anyone into oblivion it would be now and that person should be you.

He's way nicer than you would have expected from a pretty boy though because he just laughs brightly as he stands too, "No need to apologize! I think we reversed and I was just the one in the way this time."

"No, this one wasn't you at all. I'm really sorry, Oikawa."

Another voice chimes in, quite seriously, "Dropped the honorific already, Y/n? And that's the second time in minutes.. I wasn't aware you met more than that one time."

Even Semi is teasing you?! He almost got you for a second, his voice was perfectly serious, you only realized because you noticed the glint in his eyes when you looked over to make excuses. So instead you.. still make an excuse.

"I didn't grow up with this? It's pretty normal to use someone's name without honorifics back home!"

"Hmm." He looks like he'll drop it, but oh my gosh, Yamagata picks up the let's make fun of Y/n game by throwing back, "I don't know Y/n, you've had no trouble fitting in like a local for weeks. Seems suspect."

You look to Toshi for support but he's silent and just calmly looking back at you.

What. Is. This.

Even Iwa and the other friend behind Oikawa are various degrees of amused. Like. What?

You can't look at him, but you'll make it worse if you don't so you literally use all your remaining dignity to turn your probably flushed face back to Oikawa and all your control to keep a serious, sincere expression before trying to apologize again.

"Please ignore them, they were just telling me how nice I am since I don't tease them when they're down but apparently not enough to return the favour. Anyways, I hope you can accept my apology." No way are you saying his name again, because whether you use the honorific or not now, either option will just get you teased more.

You finally manage to look into his eyes again and that's when you realize that you're not the only one that's incredibly flustered. Like, he is too? Did he hit his head when the two of you fell? And.. has he just been staring at you this whole time?? Oh god, you're wearing a dress! Are you somehow flashing yourself?? The guys would tell you right? You quickly run your hands down the flared skirt to check without looking and making your consternation obvious, but no, everything seems in place.

He clears his throat, catching your attention again, and then there's a smile on his face, maybe more like a smirk, "That's okay, really... Now we can make it up twice."

Suddenly, your embarrassment is forgotten and you're smiling back. How can you not? You had said that back then because, what were the chances, really? So you definitely hadn't expected that cute moment with a cute boy to mean anything and yet here you are.

"Okay, yeah, sure." You lightly laugh out your words, because you're a little unsure about your coming offer but you're still about to go for it. "I'm treating these guys tonight so, if you and your friends would like to, you're welcome join us. If you think that might be enough to make up for running you over this time."

He's a little taken aback and shaking his head, "I can't let you treat me."

"Why?"

He blinks like he doesn't understand, "We both have to make it up to each other anyways, right? So that wouldn't make sense-"

"But we'll join you." His friend Iwa cuts him off as he steps forward, "We're celebrating his birthday tonight anyways and it'll be nice to have some buffers for his stupid."

Aw, his pout from last time is back and he's actually whining, "Iwaa, you're so mean to mee. And on my birthday?"

"Ohh goodie, this will be fun!" Tendou is literally the heart eyes emoji now but you think it's from the thought of all the fun he'll have torturing so many different people tonight.

"Yes. We have a table booked because we were unsure how busy it would be." Toshi adds, "I will inquire as to increasing our reservation."

It seems Oikawa's realized that he's going to be having dinner with his enemy and honestly looks a little sour about it but then you catch his eye again and he sees the smirk on your face. He tilts his head as he studies you because maybe he's only just realizing you're not such an 'angel'. No, you're definitely more a devil, it's probably why you and Tendou get along so great.

Either way, it looks like he's made his choice because he gestures for everyone to head into the restaurant after Toshi and now there's nine of you instead of the original six.

As you wait, you're properly introduced to Iwa - who is actually Iwaizume - Hanamaki, and finally Oikawa, before you introduce yourself. The first two call you by last name, but Oikawa calls you Y/n-chan or even just Y/n and you let it go because who are you to insist on proper etiquette when you're not even from here? Yeah, right, that's your story.

You end up sitting next to him and you think that was definitely manipulated by at least his friends if not also Tendou, who's managed to snag a front row seat right across the two of you.

It's definitely lively with this group and once everyone places their orders, it only gets louder as they all start talking and joking around with each other. For rival schools, they're making a surprising effort to get along, minus Tendou, but you think everyone has mutually decided to ignore his jibes.

"So..." You look over to your right at Oikawa with a bright smile to match his, "I didn't get to say it yet but.. Happy Birthday!"

"Aw thank you Faye-chan! I'm pretty lucky to have an angel wish me.. I have a feeling I'll be blessed for this year - if not the rest of my life!"

Ack, why are you blushing again? Is he genuine, flirty, or right on that line in between that you usually manage?

Probably the last, since you can't tell and you're the master at it. Okay then, fine. Let's play, pretty boy.

"Hm, I guess you didn't know that an angel can only pass blessings through tears or kisses.. if you want a blessed year, you'd have to make your angel cry... or fall in love." You inform him casually, holding eye contact the entire time so you don't miss the widening of his eyes, the colour on his cheeks, and that completely taken aback expression that slides on his face. Yeah, you went there. You have no filter when you're being impulsive but it's not like anyone else is listening either so you can be a little risky.

With a smirk, you finish, "Not just anyone can receive an angel's blessing after all. You'd have to be one of the luckiest guys in the world."

Something slightly shifts across his expression, like he reached a thought or decision you can't read, before he composes it to a conciliatory smile, "Well, then I'll just have to do my best to make sure I don't make sure I don't make you cry."

You get a warm, fuzzy feeling even though you left that opening for him, because that's a pretty sweet implication to make. You know you're both playing, but you can't help but wish he actually was going to try and make you fall in love.

Your wrists tingle at that thought, like an ever present reminder that fate in love is chosen for anyone who decides to follow that path. You refuse to get sad and melancholy, you've known the multiple markings on your wrist have decided your supposedly perfect matches since the moment you was born.

Unlike others in the world, who either choose to completely follow that path and dedicate themselves to the names etched on their skin or even those that completely oppose the idea of that kind of pre-destined love and shy away from it, you decided long ago that you would be neutral and give your soulmates a chance when you found them. So, you're not exactly available to just anyone, but you're not closed off to options, especially given that you're a little on the rarer side given the number of names currently hidden on your skin.

You don't realize you're adjusting the bracelets on your wrist until you notice him watching with a curious look on his face. What are the odds this cute boy you ran into has six currently indecipherable markings on his own skin? He hasn't rolled the sleeves of his shirt up this whole time so you haven't been able to check, if you would have even bothered to before, but by now you have a small, little percent of you that wants to know. It's just considered pretty bold and forward to ask or really keep trying to catch a glimpse of others' marks and even you're not that shameless. Maybe he's among the people that decided to completely ignore his marks?

Okay, now you're a little sad, but it's supposed to be a good night. You can hear the chatter of my and his friends around the two of you, but it feels like, for a moment of mutual quiet between you both, you're in your own little world together, with just each other and your shared thoughts. Or maybe you're just projecting.

You're glad when Iwaizumi distracts him from his other side because you dropped into this rabbit hole in your head so fast, that you're sure you got all weird and quiet and pretty obvious. You look up and see Tendou staring at you with a raised eyebrow and a pretty rare serious look on his face. Aw, he's checking to make sure you're okay. You really hope he didn't hear your conversation, though, because he's been one of your sounding boards on this matter way too much so he needs a break and you just don't want to talk about it.

Thankfully, the food arrives and your mood is back up as you all enjoy the delicious appetizers and variety of sushi that's been prepared for your table. You make Oikawa try a spicy dynamite roll when he admits he hasn't before and Tendou and Semi both keep stealing your gyoza before you can slap their hands away.

You're full well before any of the guys at the table when the topic of your trip comes up.

"Y/n-chan, what did you mean when you said you're not from here earlier?" Oikawa looks over to ask before dipping his last roll into some soy sauce and popping it into his mouth.

"Oh, I'm actually visiting Japan for my summer vacation. I spend my school year in America."

Maki pipes up from across Iwaizumi, "That's a pretty specific way you worded that. You live there?"

You smile happily knowing that he's caught on fast, you're a big fan of how words are used for communication, "I mean, I've spent so much time in different countries with friends and family and am usually travelling when not in school that I actually did mean that how I said it. Technically, I've been living here the past month, haven't I? And the next month, I'll still be living in Japan, only to return home when school's about to start."

"You'll be in Japan, but not Miyagi?" Iwaizumi is holding his green tea, his head tilted like he's trying to read between the lines now that he's realized you mean more than what you typically say.

"Yeah," You fiddle with your chopsticks, lining them up perfectly before looking around the table with a sad smile, "I'm off to stay in Tokyo instead, next week. I'll miss it here, but I'm also looking forward to my next adventures and new friends." You say the last with a smirk aimed at the Shiratowizawa guys who either smirk, whine, or roll their eyes (I see you, Semi) in response. Toshi seems completely unaffected but you know he'll miss you so you're not offended.

"So that's what you were yelling about taking a train before you ran into me." Oikawa states with a smirk while your face gets hot remembering that awkward encounter outside. Didn't you decide you never wanted to think of it again?

"Weren't you the one 'in my way'?" You throw back quickly but he's already shaking his head.

"No, pretty sure you made it clear that one was on you and only you, and who am I to argue with an angel?"

"Oi, shittykawa, stop trying to embarrass her, you're acting like trash." Wow, can you take Iwaizumi everywhere with you? Knight, shining armour.

"Iwa-chan! I think you've already forgotten what day it is again!"

"Yeah, it's the day you're supposed to grow up."

They're going to start bickering again so you think Soekawa is diffusing the tension when he return everyone to the original topic, "It's almost like you grew up here, though, I wouldn't be able to tell you're just visiting since you fit right in."

"Even when you claim not to be familiar with common customs!" Yeah, thanks Yamagata, I'm going to ignore that.

"Well I have a lot of family in Japan. Toshi, of course, and a few other cousins, aunts and uncles in different regions. So I guess it's like a second home for me where I've spent the majority of my breaks when I'm not travelling anywhere else." Soekawa already knew that, as did the rest of the Shiratorizawa guys, so you're just following his lead to keep the peace and share a little more for the others at this point.

"So you come back a lot?" Why is Oikawa asking? You don't want to read too much into it.

"Sure, if I don't have any other obligations, then yeah, I love spending time here."

"Why not just move? You could live here and come to Seijoh!" Aw, Maki's the sweet one in their group.

"If she were to live here, she already knows she should come to Shiratorizawa." Guess who?

Oikawa's reply follows so quick after Toshi's statement, like he just knew where it was going, "Yeah, no. She'd definitely like Aoba Johsai much more."

Ugh, you should have expected this too. The table erupts into a slightly heated debate but you can't fault this rivalry, it gets even worse between the academies back home so this is really oddly polite and low-key in comparison.

You excuse yourself and leave them at it to go wash your hands before dessert arrives and surprise, surprise, who do you bump into on your way back out to the dining room but pretty boy himself. Definitely curious if he was waiting for you for some reason or it's just a coincidence because, you know, people are allowed to use the restrooms when they need to.

"You know, Angel, you promised to make it up to me for running into me earlier."

"I thought we were supposed to make it up to each other?"

"Well.. then, how about we choose what we want from each other to fulfill our promise?"

You hesitate because it seems like he already has something in mind, but you don't think he would ask for anything you wouldn't be okay with. You're caught in his gaze as you take way less time than you probably should to consider his proposition before agreeing, "Well, it is your birthday, I guess. So tell me, how can I make it up to you?"

His smile becomes positively wicked, if you could call it that on a cute teenage boy, "Since I'm hoping for an incredible year and I got it wrong the first time, I'd like to ask for an angel's blessing."

You choose your words carefully, because, is he asking for what you think he is!?

"I don't suppose you want to make me cry?"

He chuckles and it's just a divine sound that rolls right through you, holding you still in this mesmerizing moment, "I'm sure I already said I don't ever want to make my pretty angel cry."

"I'm not your anything, Oikawa."

"Call me Toru, Y/n-chan. You're at least my friend, aren't you?"

You swear he's just stealing your smiles and blushes, because you can't stop the amused pull of your lips and light, warm flush at his playful tone. "I don't know, Oikawa, I don't think friends ask for kisses in return for... small mishaps."

"Well, I think we're friends," he pouts before settling back into an almost serious expression with a confident, sincere smile on his face, "but I'd really like to know what it's like to be the luckiest guy in the world."

"Hmm." You pretend to think it over but you already know your decision because you're so ridiculously charmed by this guy, "Well.. I suppose if it's a birthday wish..."

And before you can overthink it, you cross the step of space between you two, lean up with your hands resting on his chest for balance, and close your eyes before softly gifting him a small kiss on his cheek, right by the corner of his mouth. You must be as reckless as your friends say but you can't help but love the electric feeling that comes with the adrenaline of making bold and risky choices.

You want to look away so badly but you're also stubborn so you force yourself to keep meeting his eyes as you drop back down from your tip toes and pull away slightly. He'd immediately reached for your waist when you stretched up to reach him, as if to help steady you, but you're realizing now that was like some conditioned automatic reaction because he's actually looking frozen in shock and a little disbelief now that you're studying him.

Is he surprised that you actually gave him a kiss in some way, when he asked for it? Wow, you hope he wasn't completely joking around.. you hadn't thought you were reading that wrong. Oops?

His eyes are slightly wide again and mouth a little open like he was about to say something at whatever point he froze- why does he look so cute like this?? What a face he's making.. You smile at him and repeat your wish to him, "Happy birthday.. Toru."

He blinks like he's coming out of a trance, arms gradually dropping back to his sides, and this time, his smile is slow to spread but so sweet and happy. You think for a moment again about the marks on your wrist and wonder.. no. What are the odds?

"Angel, you... I'm really already the luckiest guy, aren't I?" Oh my gosh, why does that make you blush? He sounds incredibly genuine, maybe that's why.

"I guess, as your friend, I'll have to agree." It was supposed to come out sounding playful and careless, but there's a certain tension as you're kind of looking at each other for a moment before you feel the need to get some space from this.. weirdly intimate scene. You start to step backwards, with a friendly smile back on your face, "I'll see you back at-"

"That was my birthday present, right?"

You stop moving and tilt your head in confusion, "...yes?"

He smirks, "So what about 'making it up' once, let alone twice?"

You're pretty sure disbelief is sliding across your face now, "Seriously? I don't just go around giving birthday kisses, what more could you want?"

His laughter is warm and ripples in the space around you, "Don't look so suspicious, angel! The kiss was a birthday gift, we both agreed. But to make it up for running into me earlier, I just think exchanging our socials should be more than enough. We're friends anyways, right?"

"Oh." Okay, now you're a little embarrassed. You guess that's not really a sacrifice and it would be nice to keep in touch with him when you leave. It makes you sad to think you'd never run into or get to talk to this sweet chocolate boy again. "Okay, sure. But here's the thing, Oikawa. That's your request, not mine, so you still have to make it up to me for running into me that first time." You hold your hand up, briefly uncurling your first finger to make your point, before dropping it and tilting your head at him with what you hope is an innocent smile on your face.

He doesn't look thrown off at your challenging retort, so you're pretty sure he's got a feel for your unpredictable nature at this point. Oh well, you're sure you can still keep surprising him if you continue your friendship.

"Feel free to let me know what you want whenever you're ready then, but don't wait too long, Angel. It would break my heart to think I didn't pay off my debt to you."

You laugh off his lighthearted words with your own, "What a heavy word for our deal! Aren't devils the ones that hold debts over you? Pretty sure angels wouldn't ever do something so unkind."

He raises an eyebrow at your playful statement before remarking, "Are you trying to warn me? Pretty sure devils make deals, too, the debt just comes after. Sounds familiar, now that I think about it."

Your mouth drops at his teasing, even though you once again left him that opening, but before you can respond, Tendou finds you both, "Are you guys hiding out here from the rest of us? Sneaking some alone time, hm?"

You roll your eyes, because at this point, there's a lot worse moments he could have walked into that he'd never let you live down so, you're just thanking your own blessings. Toru's actually the one that snarks back something about getting away from him because he's annoying, as you all head back to the table together. That's when you also realize that he didn't head to the men's room so.. he'd been waiting for a moment alone with you.

Was it just about the birthday kiss and both of your 'debts'? Or was there something more left unsaid between you both?

You settle that thought away for later while the two of you quickly exchange your contacts before dessert arrives. Toru offers you his mochi in exchange for trying some of your coffee jelly and you almost give him a bite of your own spoon before you see the blush on his face. See, you do forget some things are still considered more intimate here in Japan than in North America.

He's still about to go for it, leaning towards you and opening his mouth for a bite, when you withdraw your spoon with an embarrassed laugh because, hey, his friends are watching pretty closely. Although, Toshi, Tendou, and even the other Shiratorizawa guys must be pretty used to you slipping on these things around them because it hasn't caught their attention.

You take that bite yourself, savouring the flavour and texture, while grabbing a spare spoon and handing it to him with a look out of the corner of your eyes. He accepts it with the slightest pout, actually looking a little disappointed, but then ends up digging in and finishing the rest of your dessert. He's ignoring your protests, grabbing the cup and turning so he's blocking you as you try to reach around him so you retaliate by taking away the rest of his dessert, which is pretty good too.

You find a moment while the guys are distracted and finishing up to quickly stand and find a staff member in order to cover the dinner before anyone else can do anything about it. When you return, Toshi and Tendou are looking at you, Toshi with a resigned look on his face and Tendou smirking at you. Yes, you're stubborn - these boys know it, some of the others are learning it, and the Seijoh guys will be getting their first taste of it. Pun intended, you guess.

You all stay a little longer before Toshi decides it's time to be heading back so you, him, and Tendou stand while the rest of the guys look at you three like you're missing something.

Iwaizumi's the one to speak up, kind of like he's not sure if you're oblivious, up to something, or that he's missing something, "Uh.. we need to pay the bill."

"Wait, are you serious?" And cue the realization for Semi, but then, he's also spent the most time with you apart from your cousin and bestie here, "Y/n?"

You just smile at him, not wanting to actually upset anyone, while Tendou responds, "I don't know why you look so surprised, Semi-Semi."

The others guys are starting to catch on and protest but it's Toshi who cuts them off, "If it pleases her to have taken care of the bill for us, than we should not disrespect her wishes. Do not throw her gift back in her face or feel indebted, I can guarantee it's no trouble to her and it makes her happy."

"Thanks Toshi!" You hug his arm while looking at the guys, "He's right, I never really agreed with anything when we first discussed it and this was my intention the whole time. I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't let it bother you, because I, for one, am just happy to have had this time tonight with all my new friends."

You swear, even Iwaizumi blushes and Maki actually hugs you. Toru's giving you a narrow-eyed look but he does have a smile on his face so you know he's letting it pass. If you're going to be friends, he'll have to realize that you're not one to stand on formalities or politeness. You do think things through and observe etiquette when necessary but, mostly, you do what you want to when you want to, especially if it means making the people you care about happy.

When you exit into the warm, summer night, you all start to head the same way. Most of the guys have grouped off with Soekawa and Yamagata walking furthest ahead, far enough that you can barely hear their voices, let alone their conversation. Just behind them are Toshi, Tendou, and Semi close enough that you can heard the lilt of their conversation but can't quite catch the words they're saying. Somehow, you and Toru have gravitated together and you think it's done purposefully again, because Iwaizumi and Maki are trailing slowly behind the two of you as if to give a little space too.

Toru is complaining about something Iwaizumi said but it seems like a pretty standard occurrence, their antagonist friendship, so you're just listening to the sound of his voice and appreciating the moment in time. You don't know when, or even if ever, you'll find this sort of relaxed comfort with someone you only barely know. You guess that's why you miss it when he grows a little quiet before asking, "So what's your life like when you're living your school year in America?"

You look up at the sky, thinking over all the thing you might say, and you settle on, "Busy, I guess."

"Hm. Me too, but that's typical, right?"

"Is it? What keeps you so busy?" You're looking over at him now so you see the smile slip on his face while it seems like now he's the one looking at something in the distance.

"I mean, other than school, I'm the setter for Aoba Johsai's volleyball club."

You laugh out loud but explain when he looks a little offended, "No, sorry, it's just, I already knew that!"

"Oh? Keeping tabs on me?"

"No, silly." You reach out to smack his arm and he grabs it like you've hurt him, pouting yet again. "I mean, aren't you and Toshi rivals? Like, everyone here plays volleyball, right?"

"Except for you?" He sounds almost certain, with just the slightest question in his voice when he throws that out there so you smirk, interested to see his reaction.

"I'm the setter, you know. Toshi apparently said once that I could teach you a few things." He whips around to look at you and you can see he's torn between several emotions - definitely curiosity and competitiveness among them.

"You were talking about me?"

"Semi mentioned it to me, I don't know if Toshi has actually ever complimented me on my skills to my face." You laugh a little, thinking about your cousin's quiet, serious, and direct nature. "Wait, no. He definitely has, but I think we were in single digits then. He hasn't seen me play in person for a long time."

"Hm. Well, he does have a good eye for talent."

"Right, like I don't know how much he bugs you about joining his team." You tease lightly, tilting your head so you can look sideways up at him, "Haven't you heard? You should have gone to Shiratorizawa."

He rolls his eyes, matching your tilt with his own to look sideways and down at you, "Don't you start too or we're not friends anymore."

"Aw." You copy his signature pout, "Toru-chaaan, you're so meeaan!"

He's shaking his head in complete disbelief at your silliness but you've got him smiling wide - and slightly blushing - too so you consider it a win.

"We're going to be a really strong team. I wish you could come see me play." There's a pause and you think he's finished but he adds, "You know, when we beat your cousin and his team."

"Hm." You don't agree or disagree, choosing instead to divert, "Or you could see me play and I could teach you that thing or two."

"I wonder." He actually sounds thoughtful and you're kind of glad because it means he's not as conceited as he sometimes acts. You wonder why?

It's almost time to move on, and you're anticipating your goodbye already, "You know, I'm glad we ran into each other."

He looks surprised that you would say that and thrown off because it's not flirty or teasing. You're genuine and sincere in your statement and you're sure that comes across.

"Really?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? You're a good person to be around, Oikawa. I can tell that from just a couple run ins and a couple hours. I'm happy to call you my friend."

The look he sends you is as undeniably warm, tender, and sweet as it is slightly apprehensive and thoughtful. You don't know why he seems to question his value or worth in some way, but you can tell he appreciates your words, however he decides to accept them.

"I'm glad to have run into you too." It's said softly before he seems to switch back into his confident smirk, "I'm really glad to have received a blessing from a pretty angel like you too."

You're not going to blush, nope. No. You can feel your face heat up so you throw out a random statement to cover your fluster, "Aren't all angels pretty, anyways?"

"You're extra special." He smiles and then adds, "You look especially pretty tonight."

"Uh.. thanks. I mean, it was a celebratory dinner one way or another."

He's still studying you, particularly the bracelets that cover your wrists, so you're not exactly surprised when he reaches out a little, to lift your arm. You don't notice you've stopped and are facing each other at this point because he's asking, "Do you always wear these?"

You study them when you don't need to, for once avoiding that inner urge for strength to look up, face your fears, and see what might lie in his expression. "No. Obviously I can't when I play."

"The rest of the time?"

"Not really. Not these specific ones a lot, either, but other bracelets or sleeves or gloves, sure - it's probably like fifty-fifty." You don't know why you're even telling him this but his expression is a little apprehensive, a little hopeful, so maybe you want to see where this goes.

"Why?"

You look up at him then, at an unusual loss for words and not knowing if he understands what it's like. He must know, of course, like every child in this world learns growing up, how diversely fractured the beliefs in this concept is. You're sure he's aware of the people that completely support the soulmate system and push others to believe in it just as faithfully. He must also know about the other side of the scale, people that literally hate the concept to the point of forcing their disbelief, mistrust, and active rebellion onto others. That's all common knowledge quite well understood around your world and anyone can fall anywhere on the scale, like with politics or religion.

But does he understand how it feels, even in a world where almost every person has at least one name on their skin, to have six? To either be an object of awe, or envy, or disgust. To be you, in that position, an overthinking, overachieving daughter of an almost empirical family, and to have to account for how the marks you were born with might be received in the various environments you're in. You haven't even been able to use your real last name for years thanks to your last deal with your grandmother.

You don't know what his mark is, if he has more than one, you don't even know what he thinks of any of it and where he falls on that scale. And you're supposed to explain why?

He's still looking at you, waiting for something. You don't know if any of your thoughts have hit your expression because you're so conflicted and a little scared. But you're also oddly curious too, like a little part of you is hoping that out of the 7.6 billion people in the world, you just happened to run into and click immediately with one of your six actual soulmates. Seriously, what are the odds? 1 in every 1.2 billion, you guess.

It's like he can see you're retreating, even though you feel like you haven't even moved to take a breath, and he asks, "Can I?"

It's like your heart stops. Why? Why? But you're biting your lip and nodding, like in some kind of trance-like moment. You don't move to help him figure out the clasp and he's just about to snap it open-

"Oi!" You look over and see all the guys stopped a little bit further down from the two of you, where they're clearly going separate ways. When did Iwaizumi and Maki even pass you both??

You burn with embarrassment and concern at how completely unaware you were while talking to Toru. Has it only been a minute or two since you stopped walking? It felt like eternity and a single moment all at the same time.

When you look at his face, he has an equally complicated mix of emotions on his face, that same embarrassment and shock, but also frustration and.. what looks a little bit like a question, if you both can stay here and see this moment to its end. What end would that be?

"Yo! Stop flirting, it's getting late!"

Without looking over at the others again, the both of you pull apart and, metaphorically, pull yourselves together before breaking eye contact and turning to walk the rest of the way.

"You know," You've almost reached the group and you don't expect Toru to talk so you're a little startled when he cuts into the silence but, "I'm really excited to meet mine."

You look over at him at him again, grateful he's diffused the tension so beautifully, even though you're left with what feels like hundreds of questions. You push it all away to bring back some of that easy comfort you were enjoying and answer him with a bright, sincere smile, "Me too. I always have been."

You hope that conveys something to him or explains it a little. You've never been ashamed of the marks on your skin. You're not enamoured with them either. You're simply open to what the possibilities could be and happy to accept whatever makes you and the people you care for happy.

You don't bother questioning the odds or worrying about all the pressing thoughts you've chosen to tuck away for the rest of the night, even after you say your goodbyes and part ways. One way or another, at least some of your questions will be answered. Because in a little over two years from now, if you're the youngest of all your soulmates, the designs that so prettily cover the six currently unreadable names between both of your wrists will change as if they've melted away. A little over two years from now, on your 16th birthday, the names of your soulmates that have been etched into your skin from birth, will finally reveal themselves.

And from your perspective, what you do then won't be any different from how you operate now. Because your future and your fate will always be your choice.

-x-x-x-

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Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n is pretty solid on where she stands regarding soulmates, including hers specifically - She wants to give them a chance, which means no serious commitments or relationships until she's learned who they are and met them; if any of all of them want nothing to do with her, she's decided she'll move on and explore new possibilities with a higher degree of commitment at the time

-She's aware things don't go as planned or imagined.. you might call her realistically optimistic.. she's also well aware through personal experience that what you think you want to do might not line up with how you feel about people since, you know, you can't control the feeling, heart wants what the heart wants, etc, etc :')

-And, like any teenager that is constantly undergoing different experiences, particularly one with a tendency to overthink many things, she also suffers moments of doubt and questions if her philosophy should change - for her, there's no perfect answer, just the best she can do or choose

-Essentially, she has a flexible mindset in that, while she has her opinions which she stands for pretty steadily, if new information does manage to sway those opinions, she's always willing to adapt and learn, consequently updating those opinions and beliefs with new information

-Oikawa... isn't playing around. Actually, he loves to play around, lol, but he's definitely interested in Y/n. He also definitely questioned their odd instant attraction to each other but he's not going to push or make anyone actually feel uncomfortable, especially with a ridiculously high chance of being wrong

-He wasn't lying when he said he's excited to meet (and know) his soulmate, but he's also still just a kid and he currently already loves something real/tangible with all his being so he's okay to wait for something that's supposedly meant to be

A/N: Hi friends! I felt like the written part of this chapter was really long so I'm posting the SMAU part on a different post tomorrow morning. It'll also give me time to make sure everything is in line since I have a lot more trouble with putting those together, as previously mentioned. As always, feel free to send me a message if you noticed any mistakes or even just have anything you want to say about the story so far. I'd love to hear from you! <3

Taglist: @delusivist

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