#there's this idea that keeps niggling me

[fictionadventurer]

This AV Club comment is making me so desperate to write a romcom, you have no idea.

#adventures in writing #the trouble is that the idea begins and ends with 'romcom!' #the same way my desire to write mysteries would be 'they solve a mystery!' and i'd have no idea what the mystery was #there's this idea that keeps niggling me #from back when i was just braindumping potential elements i might want to make use of in an inklings story #and looking back at it later the list elements of 'arranged marriage' and 'rom com' stuck out #as well as a world that involves politics and mermaids #and my brain keeps trying to tell me this is a viable idea while providing zero plot or characters #see the thing about rom coms is that they require detailed characters who need their own arcs #the thing i'm bad at! #so it's hard to fulfill this writing craving because all my brainstorming instincts to start with the plot work against me here

[outsideratheart]

Plans (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This idea has been in my head for while but whenever it came to writing it my mind would go blank. I hope you guys like it.

To those around you your departure from Wolfsburg didn't come as a surprise but the rest of the world couldn't believe they would let you go considering the way you performed at the Euros with Germany. For you it wasn't about the money like the rest of the world assumed, you wanted to play for a team that valued you and over the last 18 months Wolfsburg hadn't done that.

You had been playing football since you were 4 years old, got your first professional contract at 16 years old and was the youngest player male or female to become the starting goalkeeper. Throughout your career you never picked up any injuries other than a niggle here and there. That was until a reckless tackle left you needing major surgery on your shoulder and put you on the side line for almost a year. Your return to the starting 11 came in the second leg of the champions league quarter final against Barcelona where you managed to keep a clean sheet and contributed heavily to giving the Spanish side their first loss of the season.

When it came to your contract negotiations you made things very clear, you were the number 1 goalkeeper. It wasn't a claim fuelled with arrogance, it was backed by facts. They had different plans, ones that didn't align with yours so you asked your manager to put some feelers out. Throughout the euros he would keep you updated and when he called to say Sandra Panos was taking an early retirement to spend more time with her family and that Barcelona was interested, you didn't think twice about it. During the summer tournament you, along with your manager, had several video calls with the Catalonian side and came to terms on a contract which pleased both you and the team. They only had one request; it had to kept a secret until Sandra made her announcement.

It's how you found yourself standing outside Joan Camper on 2nd August just two days after you lost the final. You were told to take a few days off to recover from the loss and to take some time off but you didn't want to. Losing the final in extra time was brutal and you couldn't sit around doing nothing or you would obsess over every minute detail.

"You're the new signing?"

You turn on your heels to see Ingrid walking rapidly towards you with Mapi not too far behind her.

"I cannot confirm nor deny" you briefly hugged the Norwegian before she introduced you to Mapi.

The three of you walk into the facility but you are soon pulled aside to sign your contract and make things official. The process itself is tedious, page after page requires your signature and several members of the higher ups take a photo with you. Then the part you were waiting for comes, they give you your shirt. It felt weird seeing your name on the back of anything that wasn't Wolfsburg and it fills you with a bitter sweet feeling even though you know the change was needed.

Shortly after you are led out onto the field so you can be officially introduced to the team. Many of them you had met before when representing Germany but now they were your team mates and there were a couple that had already held that title in the past. You had already seen Ingrid earlier in the morning, Frido welcomes you with open arms stating how happy she is that you're both on the same team again. There was only one person left.

"No way did they let you go" Caro shouts as she runs across the training pitch. She leaps into your arms as soon as she's close enough. Caroline is one of you best friends and you were devastated when you learnt she was leaving Wolfsburg after 6 years.

"Barely even fought for me" you whispered in her ear.

She jumped down and you can tell that she is caught aback by what you've said but she hadn't seen the way they treated you after your injury.

"I bet the girls wasn't happy"

"Not in the slightest. I had to keep it a secret until Panos announced her retirement. Svenja was the first one I told, then Poppi who isn't talking to me, not properly anyways"

After the quick catch up you watch the team train from the sidelines. You wasn't allowed to join in until you completed your medical. The team was worried about putting you to work so soon after the euros so they wanted to put you through some tests before they let you put on your gloves.

As a football fan it was amazing watching the Spanish champions train. The tika taka style is something you have always admired and to see it up close, well it filled you with excitement for the upcoming season. You see Mapi struggling to defend against Caro and you see an opportunity to gain some points with the defender.

"Mapi, come here" you call her over when they split for a drinks break. A few of the players watch as you whisper some tactics in her ear then show her the positioning your former team mate uses. When the scrimmage resumes you watch as Mapi follows your advice and stops Caro twice in a row.

When Mapi looks your way she points at you leading the Norwegian to realise what you must have told her.

"That's not fair" Caro complains.

"How did you know what she'd do?" Ana asks you.

"It's my job to know how attackers think so that I can stop them. Caro is a creature of habit and hasn't changed her style since she left Wolfsburg so it was easy" your football IQ had helped you become the player you are and it's the reason why teams did more research on you than any other goalkeeper.

"Clearly not if you couldn't stop her at Camp Nou" Pina's voice is laced with smugness.

Out the corner of your eye you can see a couple of players shaking their head, a few even burying their face in their hands.

"It's hard to do that when you’re watching from the stands Claudia" the young forward was clearly confused "I had only just been cleared by our doctor so I wasn't playing"

Pina went bright red when she realises the mistake she had made.

"Alexia's going to love playing with her. I wonder if she knew Y/N was signing with us" Marta whispers to Caro.

"I think she knew before us but not by much. Just wait until they can play together, the way their minds work will be make them dangerous. Speaking of, Y/N!" Caro shouts over to you "Have you met Alexia yet?"

"No, I heard she is coming in later for some physio so I will meet her after my physical"

The team share a look. Alexia sang your praises often and it was no secret that she admired you not only on the pitch. They wished they could be a fly on the wall for the first meeting between the two of you.

As expected you pass your medical with no issues. The cardio test is easy and even though you were fresh off a gruelling tournament you showed no signs of fatigue. The only thing they were a little cautious on was your shoulder, in the lead up the winning England goal you were taking out  by a white shirt and during the ceremony you were seen holding your elbow to limit the pressure on the joint.

The physio asks if you want the TV on whilst she works. You connect your phone and play a reply of the Euros final. The doctor scoffs beside you but doesn't say anything. After the champions league they learnt the importance of understanding a loss.

You are laid on a treatment table as the physio tries her best to turn your shoulder inside out. The pain was there and it was more than you were willing to admit but you had a strict recovery routine and you didn't do it after the final so you were a little sore. The physio tells you to lay on your front so she can look at the muscle behind your shoulder. Your focus is 100% on your breathing and trying to relax, so much so that you don't hear the door open or the sound of crutches travel across the room. It is only when you hear her speaking to one of the other physios closest do you wave yours off so you can finally meet your new captain.

You wait for her to finish talking before introducing yourself, only Alexia beats you to it.

"I never thought we get the chance to play together. I'm Alexia" Alexia is quick to remove her arm from one of her crutches so that she is able to shake your hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N”

Even though it has been a month since her surgery you can tell she isn't used to her crutches so you pat the closest treatment table so she can sit down.

“Mucho gusto”

“Igualmente”

Alexia's eyes widen at your Spanish response, even more so that it sounds authentic even with your german accent.

"Surprised the German speaks Spanish” You laugh a little at her shocked response. Truth is as soon as a potential move to Barcelona got brought up you started studying the language straight away. You had welcomed many people to Wolfsburg and you told them the same thing 'learn the language and get to know to the culture'. You had been putting in the work on the first one but given this is your first day in Barcelona you hadn't had to chance to experience the second.

"Mm-hmm" she was impressed and you knew it.

“It would be ignorant of me to move to a different country and not make the effort to learn their language. I was just doing some extra physio work but i'll get out of your hair so you can start yours"

"No, no. I don't mind you been here" Alexia surprised herself by allowing you to be there when she does her rehab. Since the injury she has been keeping herself to herself but there was something about you that made her feel comfortable. Maybe it was the fact that you had been through something similar to her, you understand what it was like to be at your peak then have everything come crashing down.

Alexia gets changed into some training gear and when she re enters the room you are stood up as the doctor assesses the movement of your recently healed shoulder. Your upper body was covered in noting but a sports bra revealing your sculpted arms and toned abs.

Alexia admired the view in front of her, maybe for a little bit longer than she should have for when she meets your eyes she sees that you've caught her.

“I’m sorry, I...I" Alexia stumbles over her words and you find it adorable "I was —”

“Checking me out" you finish her sentence, smirking as you do so when you see her cheeks flush red "Don’t be embarrassed, own it. Do you want me to turn around so you can have a full look”

Alexia laughs as you walk back towards the bench as if there's a catwalk “enjoying the view from behind?” you almost shout back to her

“Yes” you turn hastily, shocked at the new confidence Alexia has "What? You said to own it"

"Touche Putellas, touche"

Alexia starts her rehab whilst you sit back on the bench wearing a compression sleeve which is hooked up to a machine to monitor the pressure. After twenty minutes she notices what is playing on the TV and he first instinct to to scold you for tourturing yourself but it would make her a hypocrite because she did the same thing after Turin.

It gets to the final ten minutes and you know what is about to come. You fists turn into balls as Chloe Kelly's shot hits the back of the net. Your eyes close for a brief moment and a single tear falls down your cheek as you do so.

"It was a handball" the soft voice brought you back to the present.

"Doesn't matter. I should have been better" you couldn't bring yourself to look at Alexia.

"It's not on you Y/N" Alexia tries to console you but she knew nothing would take away the sting of losing such an important game "I know it's easy to blame yourself when your team loses but a loss cannot be placed on one person's shoulders"

"Especially if that person isn't able to play" you knew that you might be pushing the boundaries of your friendship which was formed not even an hour ago but you knew she needed to hear it.

"It's that obvious" you send her a look that says yes "It's hard not to think what would've happened if I could have played but i'm coming to term with this" she point to her knee showing that she was starting to accept her injury.

"I don't know if this will help but I knew we would beat you before the Euros even started. After the Italy game I saw your team's weak spot. Your number 10 Hermoso"

You see Alexia wince at the mention of her former team mate and ex girlfriend.

"I take your face as confirmation that the rumours were true" Alexia nods her head "Ok well back to what I was saying. Hermoso played a bigger role than your team realised and you couldn't replace her, it was obvious you were still experimenting when the Euros started. So let's say you were healthy because I worked really hard to build what we called an APS, Alexia Putellas--

"Segura?"

"Close but the S stood for strategy, the Alexia Putellas Strategy. I worked with Lena Oberdorf for months perfecting it and I am confident when I say she would have made your job incredibly difficult when we played each other"

"I guess there's only one way to find out" Alexia says as she continues her rehab. The thought of playing against you and seeing this APS in person gave her a little bit of extra motivation.

It is almost an hour later when Alexia is done and although you finished over 45 minutes ago you didn't want to leave. You were enjoying getting to know your new team mate with it been just the two of you. The first few questions revolved around your career, after that you refused to talk shop, normal question only. You discussed everything from top 5 movies of all time to favourite Christmas memory. Without knowing it you had both put each other on pedestals and this time alone together made you both human.

Before going home you had to get your new training clothes from the locker room. When you leave the building you see Alexia sitting on a bench typing furiously on her phone.

"Is everything ok?" you ask the midfielder.

"My sister is suppose to be picking me up and now I can't get a hold of her"

You hear her leave a voicemail for who you can only guess is her sister. The way she furiously speaks leaves you no chance of understanding what she said.

"That wasn't Spanish"

"Catalonian"

"I'll add it to my list" you joke.

Alexia is clearly stressed out about the situation and it leaves you no choice but to be her knight is shinning armour.

"Calm down" you place you hand over her phone screen "If you want I can take you home"

"To my mum's"

"Ok, let's go" You take her bag before she can argue and lead her to where you've parked.

Once in the car you give Alexia your phone so she can pick the music. The drive to her mum's is done in comfortable silence, the only sound was Spanish music and Alexia's instructions. You pull up outside, get her crutches and bag from the boot before helping her of the car and following her to the front door. The path isn't exactly even so you are cautious of every step she takes. Her mum, having not recognised the car outside her house, meets you both at the door.

"Querida, I thought Alba was picking you up" She takes the bag from you.

"Me too but she never showed"

Alexia's mum stays in the door way with you and Alexia on the other side of the threshold. It's almost like Alexia doesn't want the day to end as much as you do.

"Are you going to introduce me to your new friend?"

"Mum, this is Y/N Y/L/N our new goalkeeper. She played for Germany and she used to play for Wolfsburg"

"I thought she looked familiar. She's the one you couldn't stop talking about the other night when we watched the final. Sorry about the result Carino"

You still didn't like the pity in people's eyes when the give you their condolences for the loss. It is something that Alexia is quick to pick up on.

"Y/N this is my mum Eli Putellas Segura"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Putellas or is it Segura" the panic in your tone is small but it's heard by the two Putellas women.

"You can call me Eli. Thank you for driving my daughter home. Would you like to come in for a drink?"

Truth is you would love to but you had already made plans.

"Maybe another time. Ingrid is letting me stay with her for the next fews day and in return I agreed to cook dinner"

"Did the club not help you find an apartment?" Alexia asks, her eyebrow slightly crooked as frustration grows within her.

"They did but for obvious reasons they didn't expect me to be in Barcelona so soon. Something about taking some time off" you joke.

"And you wanted to get back to work" Alexia understands you completely.

"See, you get it. If only everybody did instead of worrying about me" you laugh off your wish.

Eli watches the two of you go back and forth for a few more minutes. She couldn't believe you had only ever met on the pitch because the sight before her looks more like a reunion between old friends than a scene between two people who only got introduced today.

Both mother and daughter stand by the door as they watch you get back into your car.

"So what's going on between you two then?" Eli wasn't blind and the connection that was slowly forming between you and Alexia was clear to anyone with eyes.

"I don't know. She will be good for the team though"

"And for you. I haven't seen you smile like that since you came back from England"

"She understands what I'm going through" Alexia's reply was short and sweet.

Over the next few months you continued your rehab sessions even though you were fully cleared. You even coincided your sessions with Alexia's when possible so that you could spend as much time with her . You even took part in her workouts on top of your own. It was exhausting but totally worth it.

You suggested that the club invest in a reflex grid, it was made up of several shapes connect by ropes. Every time the ball hit a shape, it would send it in a different direction. Some nights you would stay behind with the goalkeeper coach to do some extra practices using your new toy. Alexia would watch from the window of the treatment room and even came outside to watch you train. The team saw the way you brought out the old side of Alexia, the one they feared went away when she had her surgery. They wanted to know if anything was going on but your former Wolfsburg team mates told them that you were a very private person and given that Alexia is in the middle of rehabbing her knee, you most likely wouldn't have made a move.

It was after one of those late night sessions that Alexia joined you on the pitch. She hadn’t done it much because she hated being on the grass and not being able to lace up her boots. You were tidying up when you saw her walking over.

“You looked like you were having fun?” Alexia helps you put the balls back in the bag. You can see her thinking about doing something with it but ultimately decides against it.

“Don’t be sad Alexia, you’ll be the one taking shots at me before you know it. As for me having fun I was. I saw you watching, did you enjoy the show?” You judged her slightly.

“I’m gay” she blurts out.

When you turn to face Alexia you see her stood a few meters behind you. Clearly she stopped walking and you didn’t realise.

“I’m honoured that your feel comfortable enough to share this information, I really am but you’ve got to know by now that I already knew this”

“Then why haven’t you made a move? We have been flirting for months, I spend more time with you than anyone else yet you haven’t asked me out. Why? Is it because I’m broken?” She points to her knee. Even now she was still coming to terms with her injury and it caused her confidence to take a huge hit.

You walk back to where she was standing. She has no idea how difficult it was for you to respect where she is in her life.

“Alexia” you take a hold of her hand “I like you more than I have anyone in a very long time. You’re beautiful, strong and when I was at my lowest you put me back together when you had your own issues to focus on. I would love nothing more than to take you out for dinner but right now you have to focus on your recovery. Trust me when I say I have plans for us once you're back on the pitch”

“You do?” Alexia asks in disbelief.

With a simple nod of your head a huge grin appears on her face.

“So right now I won't act on my feelings. Instead I will stay by your side and be there in whichever way possible"

"Vale" the way Alexia smiles and how it reaches her eyes gives you an incredible feeling. Then again everything she did had you feeling a certain type of way, you couldn't quite put a finger on what it was but in a time were things were new and uncertain she brought you peace.

It was the right thing to do yet you regretted your decision of not pursuing Alexia every time you were near her. Since the night you admitted your plans the energy between the two of you changed and when you were in a room together the tension was heavy and obvious to anyone who took a few seconds to watch you both.

It was during media day when the team really saw the connection between the two of you. The morning was spent doing interviews and the afternoon was spent taking photos for social media and the team website. The last set of photos to be taken was of the team wearing a new limited edition kit. At first everything was normal but when it came to Alexia's turn you could sense something was off. You knew she hated getting her photo taken especially when it was this staged but it was something deeper than that. You watched as she shakily tied her boots and re-adusted her socks for the umpteenth time. It is only when you see her staring at her knee do you understand what's going on.

"Give us the room" you tell the other players.

Many of them argue that they need to get changed too but quite frankly you don't care. Even when the women around you try to get your attention you don't take your eyes of Alexia whose own begin to well up ever so slightly as she gets more and more overwhelmed.

"Now!" you raise your voice this time and it doesn't come as a surprise when the team do as they're told.

As soon as they leave you close the door behind them and lock it. When you turn around you see Alexia's hands shaking as she once again adjusts her socks.

"Talk to me Ale"

You crouch down so that you can see her. Her hands tremble as you hold them tightly.

"My socks won't cover it"

Many people didn't understood the psychological affect scars had and the visible ones took a knock to your confidence that was difficult to overcome. You knew this feeling all two well but it's the first time you see Alexia struggling with the reminder of her surgery.

“Every scar tells a story. This one, if I remember correctly” you point the scar on her right index finger “tells me you're not as skilled in the kitchen as you are on the pitch” Alexia sniffled as a small chuckle escapes her mouth “and this one” you place your hand just above her knee not wanting to overstep her boundaries, she nods her head letting you know it’s ok for you to touch it.

Alexia's breath hitches slightly as you stroke over the reminder of her ACL surgery. The goosebumps that form on her legs let you know the affect your touch has on her but now isn't to time to tease.

“This one tells the story of a strong women who was given the option to give up but she chose to fight. It tells me that even when she wanted to give up she kept going. It shows bravery and resilience” despite a voice telling you not to, you place a gentle kiss on her knee.

"It reminds me that I'm broken" Alexia tries to swallow the ball of emotion that is rising the the surface.

This side of Alexia is one that you have gotten to known well over the past few months but it seems like this time the pain runs deeper than before. She had been cleared to train on the pitch starting next week but the scar on her knee is a constant reminder of how quickly things can change.

"You're not broken Alexia and you should wear that scar with pride"

"Like you do yours?" she is quick to respond and it's clear she is trying to pick a fight because it means you won't talk about her scar anymore.

You quickly take off your shirt and chuck it aside revealing three scars on your left shoulder. She trails her thumb along each scar in a similar motion to what you did only minutes ago.

"Happy?" you raise your eyebrows as you hope to have satisfied the woman in front of you.

"You hide your scars Y/N and you can't say you don't. You swapped shirts with Lola when we played Atleti but you waited until you were in the tunnel so that nobody saw you without a shirt on"

"Maybe I just didn't want you to be jealous when people start ogling my sculpted physique"

"Y/N I'm being serious. I've used you as inspiration for my recovery. You worked hard, got your spot back on the team and lead your to country to the Euros final"

You groan slightly as she mentions the final. It was still a sore subject and she knew it.

"I know you don't like talking about it but you should. You worked your way back to a major tournament, it's something I hope to do as well. Don't you see that you are telling me not to be ashamed of my scar when you are of yours"

Alexia was right, she knew it and you did too. Your team mates, past and present, would consider you a great leader and the reason for that is because you would never ask them to do something you wouldn't do yet this exactly what you are asking of Alexia.

An idea comes to mind. You may not be the captain of this team but you still have to lead by example and that it exactly what you planned on doing.

"Come with me" you hold you hand out and Alexia takes it happily.

Your entrance to the other room gains the attention of the rest of the team. You aren't wearing a shirt and Alexia is holding your hand.

"I'll show them mine if you show them yours, ok?" you ask Alexia who hesitantly nods her head.

You ask a member of the staff for a pair of scissors and ignore the questions coming from your team mates and the co-ordinator of the photoshoot who is reminding you that there is only one goalkeeper shirt. A few gasps can be heard when you cut the sleeves off your shirt.

"Y/N! What are you doing?" someone tries to stop you but they are too late.

"Time to show the world that injuries do not define you and your scars are not something you have to hide"

You see Alexia smiling ear to ear when she realises what you are doing. After putting on your goalkeeper gloves, you grab and ball, hold it forward and turn slightly so that you scars are fully exposed. The photographer begins taking photos immediately and is loving your new found confidence.

"I want to do it too" Mapi shouts before taking her shirt off and cutting the sleeves.

You can see a staff member glaring at you but you can only mouth an apology. You ruining the kit was one thing but now there were two shirts which were now made of less material than the others.

Alexia watches you mess around with Mapi. She knows that you have done this for her but she still isn't sure. A couple of the other players join you in taking less than professional photos but it sums up the team perfectly; a group of a people who mess around together and enjoy each others company.

"Alexia" you sing and she saunters over to you.

Doubt still lingers in her eye but you reassure her that it will be ok and she believes you. She pulls her sock down revealing the full length of her scar.

"Beautiful" you lower your tone so that only she can hear you.

Upon request, you and Alexia pose for a few photos together. You're favourite is the one where you are down on one knee pretending to shine Alexia's boot. It was the perfect shot as it showed both her scar and yours.

She cannot be sure if its the vulnerability she is feeling or the fact that you have once again gone out of your way to make her feel better that causes her to do what she does next. She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you close. The proximity in which you faces are is the biggest challenge you've faced yet. Every part of you is yearning to feel her lips on yours but you somehow show restraint. Alexia on the other hand doesn't care for such thing.

You could hear a pin drop when she leans in to kiss you just on the corner of your mouth. It is the quickest kiss you have ever experienced and leaves you frozen in place. Did she really just do that in front of the team?

"Thank you Y/N"

She walks away without saying another word. If she were to turn around you would the smugness of her face. After finding out you wanted to pursue something more with her, Alexia bided her time, waiting to strike. Her injury made her feel helpless but she needed to she you just how daring she can be.

"Scheiße" you run your fingers through your hair as you try to bury the desire to go after the Catalonian and finish what she started.

"How's that will power now?" Caro teased you.

In that moment you regretted confiding in the Norwegian about your feelings for the captain.

"On the verge of being non existent"

"Can we get some cold water for the keeper please" Mapi jokes.

Since that day Alexia wasted no opportunity she had to tease and rile you up. It's as if coming to terms with her scar was the last thing on her list, other than her first game but that was coming soon. She had been given the clear the start training with the ball and when it came to set pieces and ball in motion training she requested that you be in goal because she knew you wouldn't takei it easy on her and that she would have to earn a goal with you in between the sticks.

Weeks pass and soon enough it is Alexia's first game back. The way the crowd erupts as she enters the pitch at the 67th minute is enough to make goosebumps rise to the surface of your skin. It showed just how much this club loves her and seeing a stray tear fall down her cheek shows you what the club means to her.

When the final whistle is blown the team waste no time in celebrating the return of their captain but you choose to observe from a distance. You were still new to the team and you didn't want to intrude on a moment between family because that's what this team was.

As Alexia walks towards you she has a huge smile on her face and you know exactly what she is feeling. Even the way she walked was different, it's almost as if she was lighter.

You open your arms out expecting a short hug but Alexia's arms tighten around you and you feel her tears fall down your neck.

"It's ok, let it out"

She takes a few moment to gather her emotions and with a deep breathe she pulls away to face you.

"I'm back on the pitch. You know what this means"

Of course you did. you haven't been able to think about anything else since the team got told about Alexia's return game.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6"

"That's it?" you knew alexia had a need for control and her knowing only when you'll pick her up sent her inner control freak into panic.

"That's all you need to know for now"

The two of you do a lap around El Johan as you take up the atmosphere. It truly was like nothing else you've experienced before, the support of the fans was unmatched. In the past few months you surprised yourself at the amount of restraint you showed Alexia but in this moment it was worth it. She was fit, healthy and back doing the thing she loved.  

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni one shot #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #espwnt one shot

[thegettingbyp2]

Austin x reader

Austin and the reader attended the met gala together and make there debut as a couple but the nights goes south then the reader bumps into his ex

Settling

A/N: I've changed it slightly, I really hope that's okay and that you enjoy it!

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Your body was thrumming with excitement as you held Austin’s hand in the back of the car as you were both driven to the Met Gala. You and Austin had been together for two months and tonight was going to be the first time the public would see you as a couple.

‘You okay over there?’ Austin asked, amusement colouring his tone as he watched your body practically buzz next to him.

‘I’m just excited that we can finally go to an event together,’ you replied, shooting him a wide grin that had his heart skipping a beat in his chest.

‘I know, I’m sorry it’s taken so long,’ he said, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips. You giggled softly when he pulled away, his lips now the same colour as your lipstick. Absentmindedly, you reached up and rubbed the make-up off of his skin with your thumb, pressing slightly harder when you felt his teeth playfully nip at the pad of your thumb.

‘Behave,’ you warned when you saw the mischievous glint that had appeared in Austin’s eyes.

‘No promises.’

Before either of you could say anything else, you felt the car slow to a stop and your heart rate picked up as nerves began to set it. Austin’s hand squeezed yours gently. ‘Are you ready for this?’

You smiled back at him. ‘I’ve been ready for this since the moment we started dating,’ you replied. Austin opened the door and stepped out, his hand not leaving yours once as he helped you out of the car and you were both surrounded by camera flashes and screaming fans and paparazzi.

Walking the carpet of the Met Gala felt like a blur, the two of you being stopped often to talk about your new relationship and you felt like you were on top of the world when you finally walked into the building. Austin was currently engrossed in conversation with Baz, his arm wrapped around your waist, keeping your pressed firmly against him. Reaching up to press a gentle kiss to his jaw, you quietly excused yourself, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. As you were walking away, you could feel Austin’s gaze on you and even something as simple as that made you feel so loved by him.

You were standing in front of one of the mirrors in the bathroom, touching up your make-up when you saw Oliva DeJonge walk up to the mirror next to you, recognising her from playing Priscilla opposite Austin in Elvis.

‘Hi!’ she exclaimed, turning towards you when she saw you. ‘You must be (Y/N)! I’m Olivia, it’s so nice to meet you! Austin’s told me so much about you!’

You felt your cheeks heat up at the idea of Austin talking about you and knowing that you’d only been together a matter of weeks when Austin was doing press for Elvis.

‘It’s really nice to meet you too! You were incredible in the film!’ you replied, frowning to yourself slightly when you felt anxiety pooling in your stomach. You and Olivia stood and chatted for a while before you excused yourself, knowing that Austin would probably start looking for you any minute. As you walked back out of the bathroom and towards Austin, you couldn’t help the niggles of doubt flood your mind when you thought back over how nice Olivia was.

Slipping yourself back under Austin’s arm, he welcomed you back with a kiss to the top of your head and you gave him a tight-lipped smile in return. Sensing something wrong immediately, Austin politely excused the two of you and led you to a quiet corner of the room, spinning you around to face him and setting his hands gently on your waist.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Are you just settling with me?’

Both of your eyes widened, shocked at the words that had just come out of your mouth. You’d shocked yourself with how open you’d just been and Austin was just as shocked to hear that you thought that.

‘Why the hell would you think that?’ he asked, tugging you into him. ‘Have I done anything that might make you think I am because, if I have, I’m so sorry.’

‘You haven’t done anything!’ you were quick to reassure him before sighing and leaning into him. ‘It’s just that I met Olivia in the bathroom and she was so nice and so beautiful and the chemistry that the two of you had was insane. And it just got me thinking, you two would be so good together it’s not even funny and-’ You were abruptly cut off my Austin’s lips pressing insistently against yours and you could feel his smirk against your lips. ‘What was that for?’ you asked, pulling away slightly.

‘(Y/N), I’m not settling.’ He said, his eyes boring into yours as he spoke. ‘Yeah, Olivia’s lovely and beautiful, and I’m going to take that whole chemistry thing as a compliment, but she’s just a friend. Do you really think there’s anyone here who I think is more beautiful than you? You’re the person I fell in love with and you’re the only person I want to be with. There’s no settling involved here, okay?’

Cheeks flushing slightly, you nodded and lowered your head. Austin’s finger came underneath your chin and tilted your head up so he could connect your lips again. This time, the kiss was heady and you could feel by the way he gripped you and pulled you impossibly closer that he wanted you. Needing to come up for breath, Austin pressed his forehead against yours and looked at you, his chest rising and falling heavily as his eyes darkened. ‘I’m going to quickly say my goodbyes and then we’re going straight home so I can show you just how much I want you.’

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for rewriting my own fanfiction?

Right off the bat, this one is VERY low stakes and likely just a "do what you want forever" situation, but I overthink things and have trouble with Not Knowing The Rules. I realize this is a dumb online thing, it's just something that's been niggling at me.

So basically I (age/gender irrelevant here) wrote (and posted to AO3) a fic a few years ago that I loved at the time, but looking back it's...not that great. I have a lot more ideas for it now and think I could do the idea more justice with patience and my now stronger writing skills. I had an idea to rewrite/extend the original story, but then what I wanted to do was post it under the same title (or more like, "X fic title -- remastered edition" or something like that), and not delete the old one. I don't want to delete the old one because 1)I've heard deleting stuff is like kind of supposed to be a last minute thing because AO3 is an archive and too much deletion is detrimental to its purpose 2) I personally like to keep track of my own progress and don't like to delete stuff even if I don't like it 3) some of the comments on it were really nice. Pretty much there would be two versions of the same story on my account, with slightly different titles.

I'm pretty sure this would be okay, but I've heard things like this clog up the archive and are frowned upon to do, and like I said I get paranoid when I don't know the exact rules around things -- I'm always worried I'll be committing some social faux pas I'm not aware of by accident. Would this be something people would be annoyed with me for doing or is it totally fine?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[thebibliosphere]

Do you know if there are standard rates for sensitivity readers in publishing? I've had a few people ask me to be a sensitivity reader lately, and though I would like to keep them from putting out insensitive stuff about my people, that is too much mental and emotional work to do for free. I have no idea where to even start looking for this info on my own, so I hope that you might give me a lead.

Good on you for wanting compensation for your labor!

So, there isn't a universal standard (that I'm aware of), but if I recall correctly, it's usually between $0.005 - $0.01 per word. That may have changed since the last time I did sensitivity work around 2018-19, but that's what I remember.

Depending on the length of the work, that can tally up to something like $400-500 for an 80-90k manuscript. Which is honestly still quite cheap, depending on the level of labor involved in that word count.

Sometimes you'll get 80k with only a few niggles here and there. Other times it'll feel like staring up at Mount Doom and wondering what you got yourself into. That's why I personally charge a flat rate reading fee of $50 for anything over 10k, so I can better assess the level of work required and go back to the client with a figure.

You could also use flat rate fees for word count thresholds if you want to avoid working out your labor per word. Really, it's up to you.

Best bet to figure it out? Google for the type of sensitivity reader you're potentially being hired as, and see what their going rates are.

Hope that helps!

#book stuff #indie author stuff

[illwynd]

What direction would you have enjoyed most for Thor and Loki after TDW?

I recall in the long dry years between TDW and TR, a large part of the conversation in the fandom around this topic was on how pissed off Thor would be when he learned that Loki hadn’t actually died and had kept that fact from him (or “faked his death,” however you wanna phrase it) and how much trust would have to be rebuilt. And there is definitely that aspect of it. I think there was trust that needed to be rebuilt on both sides, in fact, and many long-overdue conversations about everything that had gone wrong to get them to that point. Conversations about Loki’s ancestry and his miscalculation with the Destroyer and all the questions Thor didn’t ask when Loki reappeared and not visiting him in the cells and ancient resentments and so many other things. 

But most of the fandom, in the discussions I’ve seen, seems to have been hoping for resolution between them, for things to get all healed and tied up in a tidy little bow and have their character arcs just ride off into the sunset and… yeah, I don’t want that. I never wanted that. There is way too much emphasis these days on “healthy” and “wholesome” and, goddamn, like what are y’all doing looking at these two if you’re looking for therapist-approved wellbeing? You’re digging in the wrong place. (Something that I feel is carried over from Norse mythology into their characters is the idea that there is value and importance in lives that don’t have a Happily Ever After, worlds ending in destruction and final defeat but with a deep integrity to what mattered. The world doesn’t promise healing. Sometimes, living with the knowledge that things will not be fixed in the end but it all matters anyway, and the connections between people matter, and the ability to find flickering moments of joy amidst the sorrows… to me that is far better, far more fitting to who they are than any tidy, happy resolution could ever be.)

One of the things that I love about many of their comics arcs is the sense that while things do change between them over time, with different emphases coming into focus and into prominence, there is an essence to both of them that keeps them in perpetual conflict and ALSO keeps the love strong enough that neither of them ever wants to go their separate ways permanently. They both have their own lives, with Thor doing his best at heroing and Loki doing his best at being himself, but Their Relationship is a constant, and it’s nobody else’s business, and whether they’re on opposite sides in their daily lives doesn’t really factor into it. 

So basically, in my ideal world in which phase 3+ didn’t suck, TR would have involved some of those long-overdue conversations and some working together against a bigger bad, but the kiss-and-make-up would have been incomplete, like an unresolved chord at the end of a phrase of music. Loki would have disappeared again but this time making sure Thor knew he wasn’t dead, and he’d have popped up again from time to time, always with uncertain allegiances, to have a few poignant interactions with Thor, or to absolutely destroy some big bad that’s threatening Thor’s life but in the meantime doing something that makes it seem like he got some material gain out of doing so (just to keep everyone on their toes), and if anyone questions this in Thor’s presence you’d get a very stormy look and a subtle suggestion that he doesn’t have to be slumming it on Earth. 

Loki would be there to be The Most Important Person in Thor’s life even when he’s not physically present, and the niggling itch that never quite goes away from the fact that things aren’t resolved and may be unresolvable. (Having a relationship like that—where it is possible or likely that things can’t be fixed—is actually really important to telling Thor stories that have emotional weight. Resolving the relationship or making the question null through death cuts off so many of the important questions that cling to Thor in themes and resonances. To a character who embodies the virtue of striving for heroism and goodness, an unquenchable love for such a liminal character as Loki, whose moral standing flits all across the field at any given moment, and having Thor see that not as a problem, as a liability or an inconsistency but instead as a value in itself—that keeps Thor from becoming an insufferable, inflexible moral pedant.) And Thor—Loki’s love and devotion to Thor, mingled with his resentment of him and the lingering frayed edges of his trust and the centuries-old anger and desire to win against him just once—would be there to rest like a base color underpainted beneath everything Loki does in his schemes and clever workings and, a gnarled anchor or a rusted root, keep him from wandering too far afield.

And, I mean, they’re gods. If you carry any story on long enough it ends in death, but in a story of superheroes and modern legends, the gods should still be there in the end, at the edge of the tale, perhaps, but continuing nonetheless, spinning against the stars, the huge half-invisible shadows of giants bordering the far horizon, the cycles of their lives so much longer than ours.

#replies #anon #ty for the ask anon! #grand unified theory of loki #theories of thunder #sorry this was not plot details but general gists and moods #TR and everything after annoys me so much my brain just won't work with those materials

[nightghoul381]

Spoken Words ~ Liam Evans (POV) x Reader

AHAHAHA IT'S LATE BUT---Entry number 9 in @judejazza's An Invitation to Crown Castle event!

Pairing: Liam Evans (POV) x Reader Prompt: Words of Affirmation Genre: Hurt/Comforty-Fluff CW: None WC: 1k

To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement. When you first pitched the idea to try and ‘be me for the day’ I thought it was adorable and readily agreed.

However, I soon realized that I am in over my head as you begin to shower me with praise.

“You’re so sweet, Liam!”

“I love you so much, you make my heart feel so light and happy.”

“Liam you’re looking so gorgeous today!”

I’m used to some compliments and praise, but I suppose I didn’t realize how often I tended to express my adoration for you through my words.

My face is burning as we make our way through the market, and I find myself struggling to come up with an appropriate way to respond, especially when you keep making my heart skip so much.

“You don’t really need to keep making things up to praise me for,” I tease, swinging our joined hands between us.

When you stop suddenly I stumble a bit. Glancing over my shoulder I see your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

“I’m not making things up, I’m just saying what I’m thinking out loud, like you do.”

My cheeks flush, and I smile shyly at you, tugging your hand to convince you to keep walking. I keep my eyes fixed on the feeling of your hand in mine.

More kind words with each shop we pass, and I can start to feel the niggling feeling at the back of my head, I don’t want to feel this way…

I try to keep my mind from escaping from me as I feel the cold rainy feeling wash over me. It’s no use though.

It’s not true.

You know it’s not true.

No one could ever truly love someone like you. A miserable wretch of a man.

No one wants someone so broken and unlovable; you should stop pretending that any of this is real.

The dark voice in my head is so quick to tear apart anything and everything you say, even as you continue to tell me how happy you are to be with me, and how much you love spending time with me even doing something as simple as strolling through crowds holding hands.

I school my expression, reacting as I know I’m supposed to react, brightly smiling each time you tell me how lovely I look and how much you want to kiss me. Perks of being an actor, I suppose. I can put on a fairly convincing performance, pretending that I’m happy and not crumbling inside.

I zone out for a bit, startled when I see that we’re now in a narrow alley, tucked away from the rest of the people.

“Liam,” you state softly, eyes staring deeply into mine. “You’re getting lost again.”

“Oh, um… sorry. I guess I got caught up in my head,” I laugh, slapping a grin on my face to try and reassure you that I’m okay.

I feel your hands come up on either side of my face, thumbs gently brushing against my cheeks.

You shake your head calmly and I know you’re telling me to stop hiding my real self from you.

I don’t know how you’re always able to see through me so quickly, but I can’t help but feel impressed.

“You’re so intuitive. I’m no match for you,” I chuckle, letting my lips drop from the forced smile.

I feel tears stinging the corner of my eyes as your thumbs caress my cheeks. I let myself nuzzle against your palms and breathe deeply.

“I suppose hearing compliments and such nice things… I can understand a couple, maybe. But you’ve said so many nice things, things that no one has ever thought before. I don’t know how you could convince yourself that you really mean any of them.”

I scoff at my weakness, eyes squeezed shut as tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

“I must seem so crazy to you. You’ve been doing nothing but saying such kind things, just as I always do to you, and yet here I am, crying and unable to believe it. I’m too broken for love…”

I feel the warmth of your lips press against mine and my eyes shoot open.

“Liam, I mean everything I’ve said today. You’re not broken. It can be hard to accept compliments, I know I had a difficult time with it myself when we first started spending time together. I was able to come to believe them because you were sure to tell me so consistently and sincerely each day. I want to do that for you now.”

Your hands fall from my cheeks, reaching instead for my hands to pull us out of the alleyway. You know you’ve managed to draw me out of the rain and into your warmth I suppose, your face glowing with a tender smile.

“Every day, Liam. I will tell you every single day, how much I love you, how much I enjoy my time with you, how wonderful I think you are. I’ll remind you so many times that it will become easier and easier for you to believe me,” you promise, striding out into the sunlit and bustling marketplace.

“But what if I can’t do it… if I’m too broken to believe you?” I whisper to myself, startled when you respond.

“Then I’ll tell you even more, because I know you’re not broken, you’re just running on empty. My lovely kind, Liam. “

The little spark of joy that wells up in me begins to burn a little stronger. Perhaps you’re right, after all. Maybe, just maybe, your affirmations repeated often enough will fan the flame in my heart until I’m able to see the world around me even if your light is far away.

“Okay then, but don’t expect me to hold back from complimenting you just as much, if not more,” I shoot back, finally letting a genuine smile spread across my face. I don’t know how you can see someone worth all the praise and kind sentiments in a guy like me, but… I hope that someday I can.

No, I believe that someday I will.

Taglist: @judejazza @aquagirl1978 @natimiles @themiscarnival @candied-boys

Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

#ikevil #ikemen villains #liam evans #invitation2crowncc #ikevil liam #ikemen villains liam #ikevil liam evans

[hollowwrites]

What Do You Propose? - Omi

Sebastian and Garreth here

Summary - I’m feeling some kind of way lately so expect a lot of these…How the bois would propose!!

This is basically me justifying the stupid ship name I made for own character. Sue me.

Sorry for using my MCs all the time I’m just so in love with them. Replace with Y/N or MC if you want.

Warnings - None, Just Cutesy Proposal stuff if you dont like that sort of thing

Word Count - 1006

Ominis

Sebastian had gotten engaged!

What a wonderful day to celebrate with friends.

…unless you’re Evelyn.

Evelyn and Ominis had been together much longer than Sebastian and his partner and yet here he was…getting married before them.

She was happy for him, truly but…there was that niggling feeling at the back of her head that made her bitter and resentful.

Ominis and Evelyn said their goodbyes at the end of the night and walked back home in uncomfortable silence.

“Evelyn…is everything okay? Ominis broke the silence first, not standing for another second of this cold, dark and now silent existence he found himself in.

“Yes, everything is fine” she smiles weakly despite his inability to see it. The act itself almost convincing herself that everything was okay. He offers her his hand and she sighs when she looks at his ring finger, and sees it’s bare. Her stride slowed to a stop. “Actually, no, everything is not alright. Ominis, do you still love me?” She already knew the answer, and perhaps she was being a tad dramatic…but it’s how she felt.

Ominis pauses. A look of confusion flashes across his face.

"I… is this a trick question? Of course I love you."

“Then why aren’t we engaged?” She felt as though she was about to cry and she steadied her breathing so he wouldn’t know. It’s not the first time she’d tricked Ominis this way.

"You know the answer." He said flatly turning to her with his own expression of sadness. "If we were to get married, your life would be completely different. Gaunt is not a name that you want...believe me"

“I know…” she murmured. She’d witnessed this first hand. People talking about the Gaunts’ on the streets of Hogsmeade, the looks of fear she had to endure whenever he introduced himself. It pained her that people thought of him that way.

But she loved him.

And she wanted to be his.

“Couldn’t we…” she took a step closer to him and ran her hands across his chest pleadingly “…keep it secret? Or you could take my name? Or we could make our own. I don’t want to marry you for your name or…or for a wedding I just…” her voice faded as she realised this was the fifth time they’d had this conversation…and she didn’t expect it to end any differently. She sighed and took her hands away from him. “…let’s just go home” she muttered.

Before she could walk away, he took her wrists in his hands, bringing them back to his chest.

“…I’d never thought about changing my name…” he admitted "

Ominis smiled slightly. An idea seemingly crossing his mind.

“I like the idea of starting a new family with you…it would keep me safe and more importantly, it would keep you safe” he said softly as the grip on her wrists grew a little tighter.

“What if…” she smiled and traced little patterns onto his chest with her finger. “…we combine our names, to make something better. Like Gallow or-“

“-Haunt” Ominis smirked a small laugh escaping his lips. “Ominis and Evelyn Haunt”

“I like it” Evelyn grinned, her nose crinkling as she grew more and more giddy. “We could easily be mistaken for Hogwarts ghosts with names like that”

Ominis chuckled and leaned down to kiss her on her forehead.

"I think that would work” he smirked “…but only one problem remains."

“What’s that?”

"The problem is..." He took both of her hands in his pressing the palm of one to his chest and the other to his lips. She could feel the steady thump of his heart. The man was discussing completely changing his future and name and yet was as calm as the most docile of mooncalves. "I don't have a ring." He smiled and laughed softly. “…and I doubt you have one tucked away in that bag of yours”

“No but…” She pulled her hands away, patting her pockets and searching through her bag. “Oh…you can use this…” she ripped the metal band off a loose potion bottle and handed it to him.

Ominis took the ring with one hand feeling the metal between his fingers over and over before taking her hand…

…and lowering to one knee.

"Evelyn, Would you do me the honour of starting a new family with me? Would you continue to make me a better man? Would spend the rest of eternity with me? Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears and she grinned uncontrollably. With the utmost of care, Ominis slid the metal ring onto Evelyn's ring finger, her hands shaking like a leaf. It was huge and would definitely fall off as soon as she moved, but she would take this ring over a diamond any day.

He stood back up towering over her until he picked her up and twirled her around. His chest vibrated against hers as they laughed

"I love you, Evelyn” He set her down though his hands never left her waist “I’m sorry this took so long…I-“

“I love you too!!” She stared at her hand in disbelief, still shaking “I can’t quite believe it…I was starting to think this would never happen”

He gazed down at her, his unseeing eyes sympathetic.

“Please know it was never my lack of love that kept me from you. I just feared that…I'm sorry I made you worry. Please trust me when I say that I love and care about you. I just have a duty... to protect you" he shook his head “…it’s no matter now”

“And I, you” she wrapped her arms around him, smiling into neck “It’s just us now”

It took just three days for Ominis to buy a ring.

A proper one.

It was a simple silver band with a small perfectly round emerald in the centre. The small amount of filigree that crept up the sides of the stone kept it elegant and proper.

Though she still wore the bottle ring on a chain around her neck.

Masterlist

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hogwarts #hogwarts houses #hogwarts headcanon #hogwarts oc #slytherin #hogwarts legacy ominis #ominis gaunt #ominis x reader #ominis x mc #ominis hc #ominis x y/n #ominis x oc #ominis x you #ominis imagine #ominis headcanon #ominis fluff #ominis fanfic #hogwarts imagine #hogwarts fanfiction #harry potter hogwarts game #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy imagine #hogwarts legacy oc #fluff #fanfic #Slytherin Sunday

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hello, you're someone I've come to respect to give honest and thoughtful answers to questions that may not be 'the general consensus' and I hoped I could get your opinion on the following. I was watching a translated version of an interview JK did during his solo era and I know we need to be cautious about accuracy of tone and meaning. He said he missed being on stage with BTS but instead of it coming across as ‘I love being solo but sometimes miss them' it was more 'thanks for the solo opportunity but I still prefer being with them'. I’m a newer fan – Dec 2019 – so I don’t have years of perspective insight on their personalities like some other fans but I sensed that this moment was at odds to the ‘I want to be the biggest popstar ever’ we got shoved down our throats recently. It niggled at me to the point that this last week I've been looking back on a lot of JK content and I'm a little startled by how much evidence there is that JK hasn't ever wanted to be a soloist. It's nothing major, just lots of little comments and behaviours that paint a big picture if you look for it. I know that confirmation bias happens, that once you have an idea you look for evidence and convince yourself you're right when you find it. But the more I look the more I see JK not being the 'cocky soloist bts sell-out' that many horribly seem to have tagged him with recently but as possibly the biggest OT7 in the group who was forced into a solo project. Looking back through BTS content, I'm actually a little startled how many times he says he prefers being on stage with the others than doing a solo performance. We all know he’s said he wants to be in BTS till they are old men, that he wants RM to always be leader (a little strange for the supposed soloist), he looked almost terrified when he found out that Dreamers was a solo project, he always hovers in the background in BTS content (again strange for THE soloist), and there is an overall impression he hates being on his own and is very much an introvert. He seems happy to show off his voice for solo material providing it’s mainly in a studio or a familiar/homely setting and he can get back to the group activities asap. There are many other things out there but I’m glossing to save word count. Now, looking back at his latest solo venture with an idea that maybe he didn’t even want to do it, the story becomes very different but I’d argue makes as much sense as the (horrible) current rhetoric. For years, the expectation from BigHit/Hybe/Armies is that JK could and should be the new global superstar. And let's be absolutely honest here, JK has the talent to be the biggest artist in the world if he wanted. I'm just wondering if he doesn't actually want it? That he just wants to sing and be the main vocalist for BTS – and while he enjoys being told he has the best voice and ‘could’ be a global superstar – he actually doesn’t want that, for whatever reason. If he didn’t want a big solo career and he put in some resistance to keep his career from going astronomical it explains some of the weirdness around his solo era – and choices. I’ve seen others mention a weird dichotomy with some of the choices made and I wonder, now, if it was down to a push and pull between JK and Hybe. Hybe wanted to rocket launch him into stardom and JK wanted a limit that didn’t put him in jeopardy of losing BTS as his main focus. I have to admit I get a chuckle out of the idea of JK dragging his heels writing an album to the point Hybe are like you will have a global solo project even if I have to get a western producer to write it for you. Then JK coming back with the trump card of, well, you do that and I’ll play along but oops I’ve applied early for the military so *timelimit* but hey I’ll be back in time for the promised BTS comeback! Obviously that’s some serious conjecture and I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek but I guess, what I’m ultimately wondering, is if this kind of conversation has ever hit your radar? Or if it’s something you’ve wondered yourself?

***

"Obviously that’s some serious conjecture and I’m being a little tongue-in-cheek"

I'm grateful for the small show of self-awareness. Really.

Thank you for taking the time to write all that. It helped me better understand your point of view, and while I can see where you're coming from, I disagree with many of the assumptions you've made and what you conclude.

First off, why is it so difficult to imagine Jungkook as a global pop star while active in BTS and fitting seamlessly in a group that keeps reaching new heights? Why must it be a zero sum game of one or the other? Why is it so difficult for people to believe this is a reality Jungkook might envision and work towards?

I've said before that I think Jungkook is a very simple and honest person. When he says something it's usually what he means. If you want to understand Jungkook, the easiest way is to simply listen to him. Anon, you said you don't get the impression that Jungkook wants to be a global pop star, but I think he does. There's an interview from 2020 that I strongly suggest you read in full. It explains so much of the kind of person Jungkook is. It made me fall a little more in love with him. The article is linked here but the excerpt I want to highlight is this:

Jung Kook: I think my heart’s telling me to. BTS was able to climb this high thanks to the group members, the company and our fans. But there’s always the question of whether I could receive that kind of recognition by myself, so I have this feeling of wanting to throw myself at some challenge alone. There’s a lot I want to do, and a lot I want to achieve.

By gradually improving yourself, what kind of person would you ideally want to become? Jung Kook: A person who’s crazy awesome in their field. (laughs) Those kinds of people look cool even when they do something different. I still have a long way to go. I feel like I could be more captivating and draw more out of people by improving any number of things, by trying hard to be confident about my singing, or the way I dance and perform. BTS is way more important and meaningful to me than I am to myself, so I’m not saying I want to do anything alone. But I hope I get to the point where I can perform alone for three or four hours in a venue full of people.

Italicized for emphasis.

Like I said, I honestly think anybody who is shocked by what they're seeing in Chapter 2 for any member, probably just wasn't really paying attention before. That's not a diss it's just what I think.

We agree that Jungkook has more than enough talent to be a global pop star; we agree that at the end of the day, going by his choices to enlist so much earlier than he needed to, among other things, Jungkook indeed prioritizes the group. But it's only in a fandom filled with insecure twats that Jungkook simply saying he wants to be a global pop star is treated like he denied the holocaust. In my opinion. Jungkook could be the biggest pop star and Jimin would be right there with him. On his own merits. Owning the world with him because they are BTS. Solos are obsessed with sorting out the popularity of the members within the group, but they forget that BTS are too ambitious to ever make it easy for the world to care about anything but them. I take issue with the very idea that Jungkook being the biggest pop star is somehow problematic for a group like BTS. Even more so when this is apparently the reality BTS have all agreed to, enough to renew their exclusive contracts early, twice.

I think you have a point about all the times Jungkook appears kinda reluctant to do a solo gig though. I mean, he's said it himself that he's actually kinda shy and feels most comfortable with the guys. They're all like that, you know? That's the thing about BTS that it seems only ARMYs get. BTS actually want to remain together, in a system designed to pull them apart. That's why they're one of the few anomalies in this ecosystem, an anomaly the system keeps trying to both replicate and eliminate.

Jungkook feels most comfortable performing with the guys, but he also has a desire to establish himself as a solo artist. I assume this is something everybody in BTS, Bang PD / HYBE, and Jungkook himself understands. Rather than the company dictating solo goals for Jungkook, I think this is something Jungkook is involved in and partly responsible for. As are the other members.

I'm already rambling but what I mean to say is that I think a lot of the discourse around Jungkook's actions in Chapter 2 have been either ignorant or in bad faith. And I think that's unfair to him given it came from his own fandom.

The only real disappointment I got from Jungkook in Chapter 2 is that his solo album didn't have a song he wrote or produced, especially when I know he'd done both several times before. I understand writing a song in a language he doesn't speak can make a difficult task even more intimidating. But I also think he just kinda choked. He'd been building expectations for his solo debut for three years and had to deliver something epic. But between the Busan concert, World Cup, OSTs, enlistment announcements/planning, etc I wouldn't be surprised if he just got overwhelmed and by the time he got his bearings he felt he didn't have enough time and got stuck. That sounds kinda long-winded but it's something I've seen happen often and a feeling I've experienced myself.

Sometimes people just get stuck. It takes a mini-intervention to get the ball rolling again. In this case, and to use a reference from the article above, Jungkook decided to tackle the idea of introducing himself as a solo artist, a bit at a time. In Golden we're given a selection of his pop tastes, songs that he feels represents him, in his beautiful voice. Bang PD gave him a challenge of an all English album and Jungkook more than delivered. Would I have preferred more direct involvement from him? Of course, and it's what I expect in his next project. But for his first work I'll excuse it given he does such a phenomenal job in his vocal delivery and the songs are bops.

Anyway, I appreciate that you felt there was something off in the bad rep Jungkook has been getting, and actually did the work of going back to watch original content. I just disagree with some assumptions you've made along the way because in my view, it's unneeded. Jungkook is very clear about the kind of person he is and what he wants for himself and BTS.

#jungkook #jikook #bts #bts chapter 2 #bts solo careers #bts solo music #bts solo stans #bts fandom #bts army

[hannahssimblr]

I wait for her to finish her story about the Abercrombie bags and then I pull her into me so that we can kiss for a while, and I like her then, once I’ve ignored the disquiet in my head, turned it down so that it’s more of a niggling annoyance somewhere in the background of my mind.

“Did you know that being with you feels like being in a movie?” She whispers as I help her out of her top, and I almost admit to her that I do that on purpose, and that it’s really not hard to climb up onto her balcony like Romeo and orchestrate that perfect vibe when I could have probably come in through the scullery door instead and saved myself the effort, especially since she evidently didn't even get the reference.

“It’s just kinda how I am, I guess,” I say, and am suddenly a bit disgusted with the simpering way I say it and the stupid little half shrug I do to accompany it. If any of my friends knew that I am like this behind closed doors they would give me some devastating nickname that would haunt me for the rest of my life and probably, deservedly, destroy my reputation. 

Clóda doesn’t see it like that, I know by the look on her face that to her I am an exotic, suave American boy who can buy her Abercrombie T–shirts and will punctuate a chain of hickeys on her neck that she can flaunt to her friends.

“Do you want to keep going?” I ask her, “How close are your parents?”

“They’re in the sitting room below, we’d have to be really quiet…”

I bite my lip, “and how bad is it if I make noise?”

“Are you serious? Really bad. My dad does not like you, and I’m already on thin ice since he found out I was lying about camping.”

“Wait, he found out about that?”

“Yeah because of the ticks on me, remember? I said they were from Rachel’s dog. Well the other day my mam saw her mam at the newsagents and asked her how her dog was, and she said that he never even had any ticks. Then they figured out that I’ve been lying about where I’ve been.”

I stare at her incredulously, “so where did you say you were?”

She glances away, “well, they questioned me for ages, and I tried not to say anything, but eventually I kind of didn’t have a choice but to say that I was with you.”

Heat rises to the top of my head, “So they know.”

“Yeah, but it’s fine… Well, like, they’re really annoyed with me and I suppose they’d be annoyed with you too if they were to see you, but-”

“Clóda, I’m certain they are livid with me. What am I even doing here, are you serious? Why did you invite me over?”

“Because I’m grounded.”

“You’re-” I get up and begin to yank my shoes on, “You’re grounded? Great. Wow, yeah it was a great idea to come here.”

She has an utterly perplexed look on her face as she sits up and watches me fumble with my laces, “Are you leaving?”

“For Christ sake, yes. Of course I’m leaving. I don’t feel like being castrated by your dad.”

“But I won’t see you until I’m done being grounded if you don’t come over…”

“Yeah, well just text me when you’re out, then.”

“In a week?”

“Yeah, let’s give it a week, huh?”

I exit swiftly through the balcony door and leap over the railings and down the side of the sunroom. I land in a hedge and several branches snap noisily. A dog barks in the garden, a porch light comes on but it’s okay, because by then I’m already gone. I am back on my bicycle and riding back toward the beach under the cover of night before anybody can catch sight.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy #could this be it? #the beginning of the end? #I know you'd all be devastated lmao #tw: sex mention

[gendercensus]

On culture-specific gender words

I just had a bit of a ramble about this topic in the latest progress report, and I'll repeat it here for context.

I've been reading the feedback as it comes in, and based on some of that feedback I've been pondering the issue of culture-specific gender words. It's a very difficult issue, because:

If I add an umbrella term like "culture-specific gender" I feel like that won't help as much as people think. I think when you get right down to it there isn't a strict line between a general gender word and a culture-specific one.

I think a lot of people will check that box that the feedbackers were not intending, because when you get right down to it every term is culture-specific really, isn't it?

Marginalised groups relating to culture/region are by their nature fewer in number, which also means that their gender words are very unlikely to be entered frequently enough that they'll end up on the checkbox list.

The checkbox list is just a list of the most commonly-entered words, to make data-processing easier, but to an extent that creates a self-fulfilling loop of culture-specificity - people in marginalised groups come to the survey, don't see their genders in the checkbox list, immediately feel out of place, and check out again. Then their gender words are never anywhere near the top of the list.

So maybe it doesn't feel like the right approach to modify the checkbox list, but maybe the design of the survey can be improved to help people from marginalised groups feel more welcome and to encourage them to type in their culture-specific gender words, to address that bias.

This is something that comes up year after year, and it's always niggling at me, and I would really like to find a solution that feels satisfying! So, I'm thinking about it, and I will keep thinking about it.

Shortly after posting it, I updated some of the text on the front page of the survey a little bit. The previous wording had never sat right with me, and I realised that I could feed two birds with one scone.

Original wording: "As far as we know, most people fit tidily into one of these categories: [gender binary man/woman descriptions]"

New wording: "According to the white Western model of gender called the "gender binary", everyone fits tidily into one of these categories: [gender binary man/woman descriptions]" [See edit, below!]

I didn't announce this, but less than an hour later I got this in the feedback box:

"Not a complaint about the survey itself; Just wanted to say that dropping something like "white Western model of gender called the "gender binary"" maybe isn't the best idea. Not to mention that it's completely false. You probably only meant it as a joke or were trying to be edgy, but maybe think about what you're actually saying/writing beforehand."

I obviously can't take it into account or act on it at all, because they haven't given me any information about what's wrong with what I said or any corrections, they're just being passive-aggressive and ~vaguely ominous~

So I'm posting this as an example of the kind of feedback that has literally zero effect, and I'm inviting some feedback that is more informative and useful. How do you know a statement that I made is false? Why isn't it the best idea? In what universe is it "edgy" to point out that maybe the binary model of gender might not be universal in a survey aimed at people whose genders don't conform to the binary model of gender? I need multiverse co-ordinates, people!!

Anyway, obviously Tumblr is terrible for messaging, so the best way to send me feedback is to reply to this post (because it's all in one place), but if you want to contact me less publicly you can email me: hello AT gendercensus DOT com. For obvious reasons I am more interested in your thoughts on this if you're a person with a culture-specific/-exclusive gender, but basically all thoughts are welcome.

Edit, a few hours later: I've removed the "white Western" part now, because it didn't feel like a particularly constructive thing to include, and because I can't back it up with sources off the top of my head. I want to keep the introduction to just the pertinent information, as common-sense as possible.

So now it says:

According to one model of gender called the "gender binary", everyone fits tidily into one of these categories: [gender binary man/woman descriptions]

And I think I feel better about it. It implies that it's one of several models of gender, without raising it above other models, and race or region are not a factor but anyone not white or Western will hopefully read that and be reassured.

Further thoughts welcome, here or by email!

#feedback please! #gender

[davidfarland]

David Farland’s Writing Tips: A Few Words on Career Management

I hate to say this, but even before you begin writing your first book, maybe you should be thinking about career management.

As you begin your writing career, one of the very first questions you need to ask yourself is, “Is there a large enough audience for my first book so that it could help launch a career?” or “Is this really the genre that I want to be writing in for the next twenty years?” or “If I wrote this book, who would be my agent or my publisher?”

You don’t want to get bogged down with such niggling details, yet you can’t totally ignore them, either.

A few years ago, a good friend excitedly told me about a book he had begun. He told me the premise, and I asked him a question: “Do you want to keep writing books after this, or are you willing to let this one book your career?”

You see, the author was intelligent and passionate—a great combination for a writer—but the book he described had no audience. If he wrote it, he would be writing it for personal therapy. I’m all for that—writing something because you feel you have to write it, or because you simply enjoy it—but I think you need to be realistic, too.  If you want to make a living from your writing, you have to develop a story that people want to read.

So he wrote the book, and with great delight soon announced that he had found a small publisher. The book came out and got nice reviews. It even was a finalist for a major award.

But two years later he wrote me a note which said, “I should have listened to you. I spent a year writing and promoting that book. I sold exactly 52 copies. Of those copies, 51 were sold to families and friends. The last one, I have no idea who bought it. With such dismal sales, no one is interested in my next book. A publisher suggested that she might buy a novel from me, but only if I wrote it under a pseudonym.”

That’s one danger. You put a lot of work into a project and then discover that you have to start over, using a different name.

Now, that’s not the end of the world. Many successful authors have had to re-brand themselves, recover from a bad start. But think about this: the average writer takes about seven years from the time that they begin writing to the time that they gain enough skill to get published. They typically spend another seven years from the time that they begin publishing to the time that they become successful.

Do you really want to add a few more years to that because you’re making career management missteps? How many times do you think you can screw up before you’re done? Do you want to write a bad novel—or a bad series—and then have to start over again?

You can write a book and sell it, but publishing a “small” book can give you a false sense of victory. Yes, you put everything into writing a book and got it published, but in doing so you won the battle while losing the war.

But there is another problem. One young would-be author once asked, “How do I write the bestselling young adult novel of all time?” I gave her a hard look and wondered, “Do you know what you’re asking? Do you really want to be that famous?”

So we sat down in my office and strategized. I told her how to write for the audience she wanted. We brainstormed the setting, the characters, and premise. We talked about how she would get her agent and her publisher. We strategized when she would put the book out and how she would promote it. She wrote the book and reached her goal.

Then came the put-downs from jealous authors. (Guess what, if you get a lot of success, you’ll also get a lot of abuse from other authors.). She got put-downs from irate parents who seemed to purposely misread the books. I heard stories of how fans swarmed her hotels on tours, and ruined a limo she’d rented. One cab driver told me that the author had crying jags while he taxied her to the airport.

Is that the career you want?

Personally, when I started in this business, I realized that I didn’t want to be rich and famous--just rich. I’d like the money, but I don’t want the notoriety.

Unfortunately, the fame may be tied to the job. I keep trying to figure out how to disentangle the two. So far, I’ve done an excellent job of avoiding both too much wealth and fame.

So, what are effective long-term strategies?

You need to decide who you are as a writer, first. What kinds of books do you want to write? How are they similar enough to others so that you know you have an audience? How are they different enough from other writers’ work so that you can build a reputation and a following?

Then you have to consider how you’re going to publish them? Will they be self-published or traditionally published? Why?

Once you ask that second question, you may find yourself tumbling down a rabbit hole. If I am going to self-publish, how will I promote my works? If I am going to publish traditionally, who is the best publisher for me and how do I get them?

You can worry far too much about things that you may never have much control over.

I think you see that worrying too much about such things could impede your work. You do need to consider career management, but can’t let the details run you ragged.

I used to have a schedule for brainstorming career moves. On Monday through Saturday I wrote. On Sunday evenings, I would consider my career objectives and meditate upon how to meet them—but first thing on Monday morning, I’d set my concerns aside and get back to work.

And now, back to writing!

For more on David Farland's Writing tips, visit https://mystorydoctor.com/writing-blog/

And you can also click here to get your David Farland Daily Meditations.

#writing tips #writing help #writing tips and tricks #writing advice #author

[ahdriking]

you tend to write more porn but I've read some of your meta on the end of S1 so I'm really curious what your take would be on an AU where Porsche refuses to take the minor family ring 🤔

FAm DON't EVen GEt Me STarTED.

This Idea, This Concept, lives in my brain, haunting my every waking moment. WHAT IF. WHAT THE FUCK IF.

WHAT IF this show had paid more close attention to the continuity of Porsche's emotional arc and had given us a more conclusive ending that actually addresses all the ways in which Porsche LEADING THE MAFIA is counterintuitive to his character. You know, the man who had a minor breakdown over 'collecting the debt', an issue that's never addressed again (even if you read his character development as being a steady decline into moral ambiguity because of his growing relationship with Kinn, Porsche's attitude towards the mafia families has always been ambiguous at best and openly hostile at worst) WHAT IF Porsche had actually acknowledged the way in which his relationship and feelings for Kinn would always be tempered and limited by Kinn's devotion and sense of obligation to his family and his father? WHAT IF Porsche refused to settle for second, refused to lay down his life and dignity for Kinn for scraps in return, refused to succumb to Korn's obvious machinations?

WHAT THE FUCK IF.

I feel like the one major thing missing from Kinnporsche, for me, was the clear lines between family and Porsche that Kinn was never truly forced to draw. Yes, he went against his father's wishes by falling for Porsche and entering into a relationship with him, but he also defended his father, stood at his side and even in front of a gun for him when it mattered the most. Kinn's loyalty to his father was tapped at, niggled at, but never truly tested, not in any definitive way from which we can draw conclusions about whose side he would fall on if it ever came to it. Kinn gets to have his cake and eat it too: his family, his father's approval, AND Porsche.

What does Porsche get, though?

He gets to be manipulated, toyed with, used and controlled. He gets to have his mother back, but only because Korn needed the trump card to secure his loyalty. He gets to have Kinn, but only because Korn can better control them both by keeping them close. He gets to have power and autonomy, but only at the whims of Kinn and Korn's say so. He gets to have Chay at his side, at the cost of his little brother having lost everything, information which he never even learns about.

Porsche gains Kinn by taking the ring, but he loses everything else. So what if he had refused it?

Would he have lost Kinn?

The most interesting headcanon worth exploring to me, in this delightful little hole of woe, is Kinn being forced to choose. Porsche, or his family. Porsche, or his father. Porsche, or the mafia. I think Kinn is fucking lucky that Porsche never had any wants or expectations from him about how far his feelings for Porsche go compared to his obligations. Porsche seems very understanding and sympathetic to the position Kinn is in, which not everyone would be. Knowing that you'll always take a back seat, that you'll never truly outweigh the value of something else, is a heavy burden to carry. And for all intents and purposes, Kinn pushes that burden on Porsche. Their relationship is fraught with examples of Kinn exercising power and authority over Porsche, but never truly having to accede any to him. Even in the end, Porsche is head of the 'second' family, empowered and equalised only by Kinn's grace.

So what if Porsche said no, and made Kinn choose?

I want to see Kinn faced with losing everything he's ever known, or losing Porsche. I want to see Kinn confront the ways in which he's corrupted Porsche, made him into a man he would have hated for the sake of love, and ask himself whether it was worth it. I want to see Kinn suffer with the fact that his selfish need to have everything is going to be the thing that destroys it.

I honestly don't know how it would go down. I struggle to imagine Kinn abandoning his family or mafia ways, considering how deeply entrenched they are to his very being. I equally struggle to see how he would ever let Porsche just walk away. If Porsche doesn't accept the ring, the only thing Kinn can do is try and mitigate the fallout from Korn's machinations being uncovered, and try to convince Porsche to give him a second chance as leader. Perhaps if Kinn can facilitate a life for them away from the depths of the mafia, somewhere were Porsche can be separate to it all, maybe they could make it work. But they'd be apart practically all the time, and even when they are together, the looming threat of danger would never give them peace (Along with the hordes of bodyguards following them around).

There's no perfect solution. There's no easy answer. Either Porsche sacrifices everything, or Kinn does.

And isn't that angsty.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kp meta

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Court Of Public Opinion - Andy Barber x Reader (Part 3)

A/N: This is the sequel series to Memory Served and will contain major spoilers for that series so go read that one first if you haven’t already!

Summary: You continue to try and act like everything was normal but its easier said than done with nosy neighbours and niggling doubts

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: Language! Angst! Talk of Abduction! SMUT! 18+ ONLY!

Dividers by me!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 3

Today had been a good day, Andy had been riding on a high ever since he left the courthouse. They were at a crucial point in the case and when Andy presented the best piece of evidence in the drug trial he had actually seen the defendant begin to nervously sweat. When court was adjourned for the day he’d seen the defence lawyers scrambling with despondent looks on their faces. Come Monday morning Andy wouldn’t have been surprised if the plea had been changed to guilty.

As soon as Andy got home he made his way upstairs to start packing his weekend bag so that come morning he could get straight on the road and back to you. He was in such a good mood he was even whistling as packed, he even considered driving up to Vermont tonight.

He was just walking into the closet to grab the ring from the drawer when he heard his phone ringing. Walking back out he grabbed it from his bedside table, frowning slightly when he saw it was your mom calling him.

“Hello?” Andy answers.

“Andy, is Y/N home with you?” Your mom asks barely waiting for the line to connect.

“No, she left this morning, why? Is she on her way back or something?” Andy says frowning in confusion.

“Andy she never turned up” your mom tells him.

Andy’s heart stops for a moment “What do you mean?” He mutters, trying to stop his mind from thinking the worse.

“She should have been here hours ago, we gave it a couple of hours because we know she likes to stop at the pancake place in New Hampshire but she still should have been here by now” your mom explains as Andy began to pace back and forth.

“Have you called her?” Andy questions.

“Yeah but her phone is off or out of battery or something, it just keeps going straight to voicemail” your mom sighs, “we thought she might have changed her mind and gone to see you in court today and just forgot to tell us”

“No, no she didn’t” Andy mutters running his hand down his face “Look it’s probably nothing and she’s probably fine, maybe she just broke down somewhere and is waiting for her phone to charge in a garage but…” Andy sighs really wishing he didn’t have to say the next part “But you should probably call the police just in case”

“O-okay” your mom mutters her voice shaking.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Y/N is sensible there’s probably a reasonable explanation for all of it,” Andy says trying to reassure himself and your mom “But what I’ll do is I’ll call that pancake house see if they’ve seen her and that’ll help narrow down where she might be and I’ll drive the route see if I can find anything”

“Good idea we’ll do the same here” your mom agrees.

“One of your stay home though just in case she turns up” Andy tells her.

“Of course, thank you Andy hopefully I’ll talk to you soon with good news” your mom sighs.

“I hope so too” he mutters before hanging up.

After he called the pancake house and found out you hadn’t made it there, he first passed that on to your parents before grabbing his coat and making his way out to the car. The front door slamming shut behind him.

Andy woke with a start, his eyes screwing shut as he tried to forget the dream he’d just had. But it was impossible, he knew the day you disappeared would haunt him forever. He lets out a deep sigh as he opened his eyes and glanced over to your side of the bed empty.

His heart stopped as he leapt up from the bed. Beginning to panic when he couldn’t find you in the bathroom. Had this all been one cruel nightmare, were you still missing? He practically ran down the stairs only stopping to breathe when he found you curled up in your reading chair.

You were startled as he rushed into the living room, eyes wide as you looked over at him. Your eyes searched his face for a moment before your lips parted.

“Sorry, I woke up early so thought I’d come down and read” you apologise quietly.

Andy shook his head gently as he walked over to you “No, no it's okay, no need to apologise” he says bending down to kiss the top of your head “Are you hungry for breakfast? I- I can make some pancakes?” He offers forcing a small smile.

“Yeah sounds lovely, I’ve brewed a pot of coffee already,” you say nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

“Great, thank you honey” he smiles nodding his head quickly before walking into the kitchen.

After he grabbed a mug from the cupboard he took a moment, bracing himself against the counter as he tried to calm himself down. His heart still thundering in his chest from the fear he felt that you were gone again. It had been a few days since you had been found but still Andy found it hard to believe you were home. Often finding himself just watching you, scared that you’d disappear if he took his eyes off of you.

“Do you want a hand making the batter?” You asked pulling Andy from his thoughts.

He quickly filled his cup with coffee taking a sip as he turned around to face you “I’m good, unless you want to help? I could cook up some crispy bacon to go with it?”

A smile tugs at your lips as you nod your head “Yeah that sounds lovely, cooking breakfast together” you say as you walk over, tucking yourself into his side.

Andy smiles wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer into his side and kissing the top of your head “Sounds perfect honey”

You smile up at him before stepping out of his embrace to open the fridge and grab everything you needed, passing Andy the pack of bacon. Andy smiles as he grabs the pan to start frying up the bacon, watching as you easily walk around the kitchen grabbing a bowl and whisk to make the batter.

The morning carried on peacefully, you chuckling when Andy got syrup in his beard. Andy smiled to himself as you saved the leftover batter and he washed up all the dishes.

Once everything was cleared up and both you and Andy were dressed for the day you settled down on the couch together, Andy grabbing the TV remote before wrapping his arm around you.

“We have a couple of hours before your parents stop by before they head on home, wanna watch a movie or something?” Andy suggests.

“I don’t mind, you pick something,” you say shuffling closer to him, head resting on his chest.

“Okay, super boring documentary it is” Andy smirks as he turns on the TV.

You laugh slapping his chest gently, but your laughter dies out when the news starts and you disappear was the main story. Andy looked down at you to see you nervously swallow.

“I’ll turn it over” Andy says reaching for the remote.

“No… it's okay” you mutter quietly, shaking your head.

Andy nods shifting in his seat so he could hold you closer as the news anchor introduced the story.

“Newton town police were pleased to announce missing women Y/N Y/L/N was found safe and sound, this is what the lead detective had to say,” the Anchor says before the shot changes to Lieutenant Elliot walking out for a press conference.

“Thank you all for coming” he greets nodding to the crowd of journalists “As many may be aware we have been working tirelessly the past four months to find Y/N Y/L/N and bring her home safe, we can now announce that we managed to accomplish that and she is now home safe with her parents and partner Andy Barber,” Elliot says periodically glancing up from his sheet of paper “we can also confirm the cause of her disappearance was abduction and false imprisonment and we have already arrested and charged her kidnapper” he continues taking a moment to pause as the journalist clamber for more information “as investigations are still ongoing that is all the information we can release at this time, we ask that press and members of the public respect Miss Y/L/N and her loved one’s privacy as we continue to investigate and bring justice” Elliot finishes before walking away before the press could ask any questions.

Andy finally turned the channel over when the piece was over, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing manner “You alright?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah…” you mutter nodding your head “Just wish they hadn’t mentioned the whole abduction thing” you sigh looking up at him.

“They have to” Andy explains with a sigh “It’ll stop speculation and other wild theories to run wild that might affect a court case”

You nod your head in understanding “Guess that makes sense” you hum before looking up at him “I’m glad I have you Andy… to help make sense of it all”

A small smile tugs at Andy’s lips as he leans in to kiss your forehead “Anything for you” he whispers.

Andy rested his head on top of yours as you settled back down into his side. Taking a deep breath as he tried to focus his mind on the here and now. You were back with him. You were safe. It was just a regular old day, one where you could both just relax and watch old sitcoms.

It was barely 15 minutes later there was a knock on the front door. Andy muttered he’d be right back as he went to go see who it was. He was expecting and maybe hoping it would be the police with a decent update. However, when he opened the door he was greeted with Mrs Ethelridge, the elderly lady who lived down the street.

“Oh um hi, is everything okay?” Andy asks, pulling the door closed slightly when he caught her glancing inside.

“Yes I just saw the news and just wanted to say how happy I am that Y/N is home safe and sound” Mrs Ethelridge says clapping her hands together.

Andy forces a small smile nodding his head “Yeah we all are too” he says.

“How is she? God what a horrible thing to go through” She mutters shaking her head.

“She’s fine” Andy states, wanting the conversation to be over as quickly as possible so he could get back to you.

“I just don’t understand it all, Y/N’s a smart girl I don’t see how someone could take her, how did it even happen?” She continues.

“Like the police said on the news the investigation is still ongoing” Andy gritted through his teeth, Mrs Ethelridge was just trying to get some good gossip to spread around the neighbourhood.

“But surely she knows,” she says with a light scoff and condescending smile

Andy lets out a deep and irritated sigh, his irritation doubling when he noticed passersby looking over and watching. The street was far busier than its ever been before, all of them desperate for information. Mrs Ethelridge was just the first with the balls to knock on the door.

“The investigation is still ongoing” Andy repeats trying to keep his voice level “Is there anything else you need? I should be getting back inside”

“Oh no I-“ she starts but Andy doesn’t wait any longer, he had his answer, shutting the door to end the conversation once and for all.

His fists clench as he takes a couple of deep calming breaths. As he walks back into the living room he glances out of the window to make sure no one was trying to peer in.

“Who was at the door?” You ask making him turn towards you.

“Oh, it was uh-“ he started before pausing, you wanted normal, nosy neighbours were not normal. If he told you that it was Mrs Ethelridge at the door you would know exactly why she had popped around and Andy didn’t want you to have that added stress “delivery guy, got the wrong address, zipcode was wrong or something so I was just giving him directions” he explains as he walks back over and sits down on the couch.

“Oh okay that’s good” you hum shifting so you were curled up beside him.

“Yeah” Andy sighs wrapping his arm around you “nothing to worry about”

Your parents arrived for lunch just after 12, walking up the path of the house just as another neighbour was stepping away from the front door. Andy watched from the door as the neighbour greeted your parents, giving the same spiel that they’d just given him. Your parents gave them the same tight-lipped smile that Andy gave them.

“I guess they’re not the first you’ve had today,” your dad said to Andy quietly as they stepped inside the house.

Andy sighs shaking his head “It’s been fairly consistent since the news broke” he admits “We’ve already been given 3 lasagnas”

“Well I’m glad we didn’t bring lunch” your dad jokes lightly, earning a small chuckle from Andy.

The two men linger by the door as your mom goes into the living room to be with you “How is she doing? With you know?” Your dad asks quietly nodding towards the door.

Andy lets out a long sigh resting his hand on his hips as he shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head “I dunno, fine I think” he admits “I didn’t tell her about Mrs Ethelridge’s visit”

“The OAP TMZ?” Your dad says pulling a laugh from Andy.

“That’s the one, I was hoping she’d be the only one but more have been turning up so I couldn’t hide it” Andy sighs shaking his head “I just didn’t want her to worry about that right now, the other’s have been fine but I know they’re just desperate for information” Andy explains.

Your dad nods his head in understanding “Yeah, our phones have been blowing up” he says pulling out his phone to show Andy the screen full of notifications.

“I can turn those off if you want” Andy offers.

Your dad gives him a grateful smile “Thanks Andy, I have both phones” he says passing Andy both his and your mom’s phone.

“It’s alright, I do it all the time for work,” Andy says gently shaking his head as he quickly turns off notifications on both your parent's phones, making sure they’d only get the important ones they’d want.

“Thank you Andy,” your dad says as Andy passes the phones back to him “And how are you?”

Andy lets out a long sigh, resting his hands on his hips “Honestly… I’m okay, just trying to do whatever is the right way thing I’m just… part of me is still working on believing this is all happening, I keep worrying that if look away she’ll go again” he admits with a small shake of his head.

“I know we feel the same way too” your dad reassures him, resting a hand on his shoulder “And I know you’re worried but I can promise you that you’re doing the right thing, just being here is the right thing”

Andy lets out a shaky breath, nodding his head “Thank you” he says gratefully.

“It’s nothing, now let's go join our ladies” your dad smiles nodding his head in the direction of the living room.

For the next few of hours, everyone just relaxed, Andy put in one of the many pasta dishes your neighbours has brought over. Your parents took it in turns answering the door, giving Andy a bit of a break from it.

Much sooner than you wanted, your parents had to get on the road home. Your parents gave you a long hug goodbye making you promise to call whenever you needed. Andy stood beside you, hand on the small of your back as you waved goodbye to your parents with a sad smile on your face. When Andy heard you try and stop a shaky breath he wrapped his arm around you pulling you closer and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“We’ll see them soon, we can try and get up to visit them for a long weekend” Andy suggests as he rubs your back soothingly.

“Yeah… yeah that would be nice” you sniffle nodding your head as you turned into him more and buried your head in his chest.

You then pulled away and started walking back into the living room. Andy not missing you trying to slyly wipe away your tears as you went. Andy let out a small sigh before following after you, spotting you already curled up in your reading chair book in hand.

Andy wanted to go over and just curl up with you, hold you for just another moment. But you clearly needed some space, if you wanted him you would have sat on the couch or somewhere that he could join you.

“I’m just gonna tidy up the kitchen, do you want anything?” Andy asks breaking the silence.

You hum glancing up from your book “Oh no I’m fine thank you” you say with a gentle shake of your head, already returning your attention back to your book.

Andy mumbled a “sure” as he turns and walks back into the kitchen.

There wasn’t really that much to clear up, just putting the plates in the dishwasher and clearing out the dish the pasta bake came in ready to be returned. Not that Andy remembered who to give it to, so many had stopped by that they all blended together.

Andy still took his time though, maybe he needed a bit of space too, he wasn’t sure. He should just add it to the growing list of unknowns. He didn’t know how to help, didn’t know all this happened, he didn’t know a lot of things and he hated it. He liked to be in control, have two hands on the steering wheel. But right now it felt like he was just being dragged along blindly for the ride.

It was about half an hour later and Andy was just wiping down the sides when he heard a knock on the door. Putting the cloth back in the sink he made his way to the door. As he went he spotted you getting up to also answer the door but he held out his hand to stop you.

“I’ve got it” he tells you as he continues to the door.

He expected it to be more nosy neighbours but he was surprised to find Lieutenant Elliot and Detective Wagner and a third man who seemed familiar but Andy couldn’t recall a name.

“Who’s this?” Andy asks pointing to the well-dressed man behind the detectives.

“Well explain inside, we have an update” Elliot explains glancing over his shoulder at the other man.

“Of course, come inside” Andy says stepping aside to let the three of them in.

As the final man passes by Andy he glances around before smiling over at Andy “lovely home” the deep southern accent catching Andy by surprise.

Andy clears his throat and nods “Thank you, uh right this way” Andy says directing them into the living room.

As they walked in, Andy saw you sit to attention, slamming your book shut. You cast a worried glance over towards Andy who gives you a reassuring look in return.

“They have an update on the case” Andy explains walking over, resting his hand on your shoulder.

“And who’s this?” You ask quietly nodding over to the third man.

“This is Inspector Blanc, he’s going to be joining us on this case?” Elliot explains as he and Wagner sit down on the couch.

Blanc remains standing though, one hand resting in his pocket as he studied the room around him. His eyes finally settle on you and Andy feels you squirm slightly in your seat. Andy moves to perch on the arm of your chair, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to calm you. The action makes Blanc’s focus move to Andy, his lips twitching upwards as you leaned into Andy’s touch.

“Why?” Andy questioned, recognising the man now, he was a famous private investigator who worked all over the world. It didn’t make sense to Andy why he’d be taking on this case.

“Well, I have been in this state the past couple of months investigating corruption in the emergency services, while doing so I came across your name” Blanc explains pointing over at you.

“M-m-my name” you stutter in shock.

“No, no, not your name,” Blanc says waving his hand before pointing at you again” The name Drysdale gave you, Dorothy” he explains and Andy feels you tense hearing that name again “That name caught my attention as there were little to no records attached to the name, those that did exists were a phoney as cheese from a can, I looked into it further and discovered every nurse and doctor you came across had considerable dirt against their name making them prime for blackmail” he continues.

“Are you saying the doctors were blackmailed into letting her go with him?” Andy frowns.

“We believe so yes, and the police officers who originally investigated the crash, which is why we didn’t originally link the two incidents together its also why Blanc is taking the lead on this case to reassure you no corruption will affect it” Elliot explains.

Andy let out a long sigh as he nodded his head, his blood was close to boiling finding out that corruption had played a part in your abduction. Police officers were supposed to serve and protect not turn a blind eye. At least with Blanc, they could be reassured that it wouldn’t affect the case anymore.

“Do you have any more updates on the case?” Andy questions.

“Yes” Elliot nods before shifting his gaze to you “The reason we couldn’t connect the crash you had to your disappearance was because the number plate on the car involved in the crash did match the one registered to you” he explains “instead the car we found in Sudbury containing all your belongings had your registered number plate”

“But how? I didn’t drive anywhere near Sudbury?” You ask, shaking your head in confusion.

“We believe Drysdale organised the car crash, swapped the plates over with the identical car and stole any personal belongings placing those in the car we found in Sudbury” Detective Wagner explains.

Andy’s eyebrows raise in shock “Didn’t anyone think to check the VIN numbers?” Andy asks agitated.

“They were, however, the officers reported them incorrectly something we only realised when we rechecked the VIN number and number plate on the car dumped in Sudbury, we’ve already identified the uniformed officers who were present at both scenes and they’ve been suspended pending further investigation” Elliot reassures.

Andy lets out a small scoff, he’s worked alongside for years. He couldn’t believe that they’d screwed up this investigation and aided Drysdale.

“And you’re certain there will be no more interference with this investigation because I swear to god if Drysdale doesn’t go down for this” Andy says nearly growling in anger.

“Don’t you worry about foul play” Blanc says calmly, holding a hand out towards Andy “I may not be Batman but justice will be served, my success rate is unmatched”

“We believe that if we can get him to confess to causing the accident or find evidence to prove it, he’ll have no choice but to pleas guilty” Elliot adds.

“And have where are you with that?” Andy questions.

“He’s maintaining his innocence” Elliot answered with a long sigh.

“Fuck sake” Andy curses harshly, his fist clenching in anger to the point he might draw blood.

“Andy” you chastise softly, hand reaching out to rest on his arm.

As soon as he felt your touch he felt all the anger drain from his body. His shoulders slumped as he closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Sorry,” he croaked as he opened his eyes and looked down at you. Your hand slipped down into his and squeezed it, wordlessly accepting his apology.

“We understand how frustrating this all must be and I can only apologise on behalf of the police force for how this case has been handled so far, but I can assure you that we are confident that you will have your justice” Elliot says nodding his head apologetically.

“Thank you, Lieutenant, we appreciate your efforts,” you say small reassuring smile before looking over to Blanc “And its reassuring to know we have someone of your calibre in our corner”

“It’s my pleasure miss, the detectives have already brought me up to speed so I won’t ask you to relive it all again, but I’ll be in touch if I have any follow-up questions” Blanc nods.

“Thank you we really appreciate that” Andy sighs with a small nod of his head, his temper much more under control thanks to you.

“We’ve got a lot of leads to chase thanks to Blanc and we’ll be sure to keep you up to date with any more developments, the only thing left to ask is how you’re doing?” Elliot says clasping his hands together.

“Okay, lots of neighbours have been calling in to check in which has been…. Nice” you say shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

Elliots nods, glancing over his shoulder towards the window that looked out onto the street “Of course, do let us know if the attention gets too much, we can organise temporary accommodation if needed or station an officer outside to disperse crowds” he offers.

“We will, thankfully it hasn’t been too bad so far, just lots of pasta dishes” Andy says a small smirk growing on his face.

“Yeah, you are more than welcome to a couple, we have more than we can possibly eat now” you offer gesturing towards the kitchen.

Andy saw Elliot open his mouth to protest but Blanc interrupted before he got the chance “That would be lovely miss” he smiles warmly.

A short while later the Detectives made their way out each with a pasta dish, Blanc taking two for himself. When Andy walked back into the living room he found you standing beside the window staring out, using the curtains to shield you from those looking in.

“Hey, you okay?” Even though he asked softly you were still startled.

You blinked a couple of times your hand rubbed the base of your neck as you nodded “Yeah I just can’t believe the corruption and the lengths he went to… I- I just don’t get it” you mutter shaking your head.

Andy lets out a small sigh as he nods his head “Me neither honey” he admits as he wraps his arms around you pulling you closer and kissing the top of your head “But you’re safe, we have some amazing detectives on the case so he will go down for this I promise, you’ll get your justice”

A couple of days had passed since the detective's visit, you had let Andy update your parents since you didn’t think you could. They tried to hide their anger and hurt at the situation but you could still hear it in their voices making you feel guilty. You had managed to tell Carrie though when she visited yesterday, whenever she voiced her frustrations about the handling of the case it didn’t seem to hurt you. Maybe because she was a bit more removed from it all.

The evening was drawing in as you lay in a bath Andy had drawn for you, he had put in all the stops, bubbles, oils. It should have felt relaxing but it just wasn’t, you’ve never found baths to be particularly cleansing but now you just hated them. It felt like you were in a pool of filth. You only agreed because you didn’t want him to worry and he had gone to all this effort for you.

You preferred showers so much more, you wanted to wash away the dirt. You enjoyed lathering up with soap, sometimes doing it multiple times just to make sure it was all gone. They had become moments of reprieve from it all, a short period of time when everything just went away and you felt a moment of peace.

After what felt like a long enough period of time you began to drain the bath, using the shower attachment to get the last of the suds and oils from your skin and around the basin. Wrapping yourself in a warm fluffy towel you refused to look down at your leg and the nasty cut that remained.

Once you were dried off you changed into a fresh set of comfy clothes and began to make your way downstairs. You were caught by surprise when you walked into the kitchen and found Andy lighting some candles on the dining table which was beautifully laid.

“Oh, hey” Andy straightens when he spots you by the door “You’re down sooner than I expected”

“I-uh didn’t want to wait until it got cold” you lied picking a bit of fluff off your sleeve “What is all this?”

A smile tugs at Andy’s lips as he closes the distance between you “It’s Wednesday so it’s date night” he grins.

“Oh” you mutter, it had been so long and so much had happened that you hadn’t even thought of date night.

Andy’s smile falters for a second as he glances over his shoulder at the table. He clears his throat as he quickly turns and grabs a bouquet of flowers from the side “For you” he smiles.

A smile grows on your face when you saw it was a bouquet of daisies, your favourite kind of flowers. They were simple but that’s why you liked them, you didn’t need anything fancier like roses. You brought the daisies up to breathe in their scent, as you do so you notice Andy watching you warily. Your brows furrow as you look back up at him trying to work out what he was thinking, was he forcing himself to do this because he felt like he should, did he even want to do this?

“Back to normal right?” he offers.

You guessed that answered that question “Back to normal” you agree forcing a smile of your own as you moved to put the daisies in some water.

“I cooked some Mexican, I thought you might want something different after all those pasta dishes,” Andy says as he pulls a dish of enchiladas out of the oven and sets it on the table.

“It looks lovely thank you Andy, I’m sorry I didn’t dress up” you joke gesturing down to your sweats.

The most genuine smile you’ve seen tonight breaks out on Andy’s face as he walks back over to you “You look beautiful, always do, always will do” he smiles as he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek.

That was all it took to reassure you, if Andy held any resentment towards you for what happened with Ransom he wouldn’t be doing all this. Resentment could fester and grow without the person realising it, so you were determined to cling onto him for as long as you could. He was pulling away when you wrapped your arms around his waist. He froze for a second before wrapping his arms around you, his hand running up and down your back soothingly as he pressed kisses to the top of your head.

“Thank you Andy, this is all that I needed” you smile up at him.

He smiles warmly back at you before nodding his head towards the food “C’mon before it gets cold”

He rests his hand on your back as he guides you back towards the table, pulling out your seat for you. He sits down opposite you and grabs the bottle of wine he’d set out, he offers you some but you shake your head. He gives you a reassuring nod as he pours himself a glass before pouring out some water for you.

“Happy date night” Andy smirks lifting his glass.

You chuckle as you lift your glass to meet his “happy date night”

Andy began to serve out the food and asked you how the book you were reading was going. You felt your shoulders loosen as you began to tell him all about it, lines you had loved and where you thought the story was going. It felt like a normal evening dinner, even though there was less to talk about because neither of you were working or getting out much, the conversation never died out or felt forced.

When you were done you insisted on washing up since Andy had cooked, he tried to argue and help out but you weren’t having any of it. You only got him to give in when you suggested that he went and set up a movie upstairs.

A playful smile appeared on his lips “You might regret that when I pick a boring old movie” he warns as he makes his way upstairs.

Once you had cleared up and all the plates, you wiped down the sides and washed your hands making sure they were thoroughly clean before making your way upstairs. Walking into the bedroom you found Andy reclined back in bed, one arm outstretched behind his head, his other hand holding the remote.

“I found a movie on the History of the Button” he smirks when he spots you.

You couldn’t help the snort of laughter as you walked over “How long is it?” You ask as you climb into bed beside him.

“3 hours long” he smirks.

“No movie should be 3 hours long” you mutter as you get comfortable.

“You had no issues with the superhero movie being 3 hours long” Andy points out with a lopsided smile.

“That’s because it was superheroes, many of which are nice to look at for 3 hours, buttons and dusty historians are not fun” you argue making Andy laugh.

“I’m only joking, I found a romcom that I think you’d like, it came out a couple of months ago,” Andy says as he presses a couple of buttons on the remote, pulling up the movie.

“Oh…” you mutter when you recognise it, it was one of the movies you had watched while unknowingly trapped by Ransom “Yeah it's a good movie,” you say picking at your clothes.

Andy’s brows furrow in confusion for a second before realisation passes over his face, he shifts almost uncomfortably next to you “Oh right okay well we can find something else, um what about this? Only came out last week” he says finding a different movie.

“Yeah that looks good” you say forcing a small smile before moving to get more comfortable.

You shifted closer to him, resting your head on his chest as you tucked yourself into his side. You hear him swallow and blow out a small breath before the arm that was tucked behind his head moved to wrap around you. His fingers lazily running up and down your side.

You glance up at him to see him already looking down at you, his lips pursed for a moment before his gaze dropped as he said “I love you” quietly.

You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, it was all you wanted to hear from him and for a moment it shut up that voice in your head that had you doubting everything.

You let out a shaky breath “I love you too” you whispered.

A smile tugs at his lips as he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead before relaxing back and hitting play on the movie. You continued to watch him for a couple of minutes, studying every inch of him trying to commit it all to memory. His blue eyes with the smallest flecks of green, the gentle slope of his nose, the plush pink lips that poked through the thick beard that had the smallest tinges of red in some areas. You had already forgotten this face before, you never wanted it to happen again.

As the movie played and you watched the two protagonists fall in love you felt a strange feeling blossoming in your chest. It took you a moment to realise it was longing. Even as you lay in Andy’s arms you longed for that kind of ease and connection the characters had, the kind of connection that had felt stilted between you and Andy. you wanted that connection again, you needed that connection again.

Looking up at Andy you gently ran your hand over his chest to get his attention, when his gaze met yours you reached up to cup his cheek your fingers scratching through his beard. Andy blinked a couple of times in surprise before his lips twitched upwards, his hand moving to meet yours, fingers wrapping around yours as he gently kissed your palm.

The movie was forgotten as his attention shifted solely to you, his hand gently cupping your cheek as he leaned down and kissed you softly. The kiss was barely there to begin with, his lips just ghosting over yours. But when you responded so did he, the kiss becoming more eager and firm.

You let out a hum of content when he rolled you onto your back, his knee pushing up between your thighs. You heard him let out a small growl when you ran your nails through his beard, the sound made heat blossom in your core, you needed this, needed him.

It was when you wrapped your arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer that he froze and pulled back.

“Wait. Are-are you sure?” He questions his eyes darting over your face.

“Yeah, I- I want this” you admit but when your gaze meets his you saw the hesitation and realised maybe he didn’t “Uh-unless you don’t want to” you stutter pushing back slightly to give him space.

Andy quickly shook his head and you saw him swallow “Of course I want to I just…” he starts before sighing “It’s not been long since you… got home”

You give him a shaky nod, your hand running down from his shoulder to his chest “I know” you admit, you really did but you also knew that you wanted him, you wanted, needed to feel normal “I want this Andy, I-I need- Please?” You managed to say.

Andy didn’t say anything for long enough that you were beginning to get worried, his eyes just scanning your face and you hated that you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. You were about to push yourself away and tell him not to worry when his eyes flashed with something you didn’t recognise and he ducked down to kiss you deeply.

It wasn’t long until clothes were on the floor and his lips were exploring your body. You clung onto him tightly as he did so, you didn’t want an inch of space between you. Your back arched as his hands found your core, you felt his groan against your neck when he felt how aroused you were.

“Andy- please I- I need you” you whimpered.

Andy pulled back enough to look down at you, his gaze searched yours for a long moment before he nodded “Okay, okay” he whispered.

He leaned down to kiss you softly as he positioned himself between your legs. He seemed to pause for a moment before he slowly pressed into you. Your chest heaved as he filled you up and you felt his heavy breathing against the crook of your neck.

This was what you had been missing for so long without even realising it. This connection as your bodies become one, the unspoken love. It was perfect and it made sense. All the times you laid with Ransom it felt like something was missing, something was wrong, and being with Andy again made it all so clear. You had been missing him.

The way Andy moved was perfect, he knew your body in a way nobody ever did. He knew what you needed and what you wanted without you having to say a word. It had been a completely different story with Ransom, even when you told him what you wanted it always felt like he did what he needed, what he wanted.

When Andy moaned in your ear you snapped out of your thoughts. Your screwed your eyes shut and shook your head trying to shake the thought and image of Ransom from your mind. You took a couple of deep breaths centring yourself, getting yourself out of your head and just enjoying this moment with Andy. The man you loved, the only man you loved.

When you opened your eyes you found Andy already looking down at you. Your lips twitched upwards as you looked into his brilliant blue eyes, you cupped his cheeks and guided his lips down to yours hoping to translate the feeling of love you felt for him through it. He seemed to understand as he kissed you back fiercely.

It wasn’t long until you both found your highs, Andy collapsing back onto the bed beside you. He gave you a lazy smile as he leaned over to press a languid kiss to your lips. He then grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, the both of you too tired to watch anymore.

He let out a long yawn as he lay back down, he wrapped his arm around you and mumbled a tired I love you before settling down for the night. You shifted closer to him, laying your head back on his chest whispering that you loved him back but he was already asleep.

You weren’t sure how long you were laying there awake for, but it was long enough that your mind began to wander and replay the night. It had been sweet what Andy had done for you tonight but your mind then reminded you of all the times he seemed to hesitate and why that might have been.

Had he been picturing you laying with Ransom, did he find the image of that repulsive? Did he see you as tainted? Did he find you repulsive?

The more your mind ran away from you the more uncomfortable you felt. You suddenly felt dirty, like there was a layer of grime covering your skin. You shot out of bed, Andy stirring in response.

“Wha- where you?” he mumbled as he lifted his head from the pillow.

“I’m just getting a drink, I’ll be right back” you lie, he hums in response his head already falling back onto the pillow.

You silently crept into the bathroom, not daring to turn on the lights as you grabbed a washcloth from the side and began to wipe away the grime. The grime that Ransom left of you, the grime that repulsed Andy. You bit your lip as you felt tears beginning to build up, only letting silent sobs breakthrough as you repeatedly scrubbed your skin.

Sharing is caring so please reblog and leave a comment to really make my day!

This series has no schedule, please don’t ask when it will be updated!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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#niamhwrites #CoPO #Andy Barber #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #ransom drysdale fan fiction #ransom drysdale #frank adler

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Dating Joey Tribbiani Would Include

You’d meet somewhere normal.

Joey used to hitting on women anywhere and everywhere.

And he’d definitely hit on you.

And he’d be confused when you didn’t call for his usual go-to moves. 

So he’d pursue you.

‘I’ve tried everything and she still doesn’t like me!’ ‘How about talking to her like she’s a human being?’ ‘Now’s no time for jokes Mon.’

He’d keep asking you out.

Until finally, you’d cave. 

One date then he had to leave you alone. 

And he’d go all out. 

He’d definitely borrow from Chandler to take you out. 

But he’d buy you flowers (and chocolates but they wouldn’t make the journey to your apartment)

And the date would end with him coming back to your apartment.

Because why the hell not?

And he’d love that he succeeded but there was a little niggle at the back of his mind.

But you’d not go on a second date. 

You’d become friends. 

The gang would love you. 

You’d slot right in.

But the more he got to know you the more he fell in love.

It’d all come to a head when someone else asked you out.

‘Are you really going out with him?’ ‘Yeah, why?’ ‘No reason.’ ‘Joe?’ ‘Would I be selfish to ask that you don’t?’

After that, you’d find yourself in bed together again.

And for most of the following few days.

The man has moves.

But he’s also super sweet, loving and caring. 

He loves to cook for you. 

And all dates are definitely food-based. 

He teaches you all his family recipes.

But you’ll never impress his nonna.

‘I love my Joey so I love you…but leave the cooking to Nonna.’

She loves you though. 

And so do all his sisters. 

He talks about having a big family like his.

The idea of pushing 7 Joey sized babies out makes you shiver

But seeing him with his nieces and nephews, Emma and the twins is enough to convince you. 

He’d propose simply. 

Like when you were cooking together.

‘Hey Y/N.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘Wanna get married?’ ‘Sure Joe, oh, you’re serious.’

And he’d have to have the big church wedding or his Ma would never let him hear the end of it.

And you’d eventually move out near Monica and Chandler.

Because even though Joey has grown up now he still needs his best man. 

‘Do we really need to do this?’ ‘Hey looking after Joey is not easy.’ ‘I am right here.’ ‘Here’s what he eats.’ ‘I’m a grown man!’

And once you were settled out there you’d start trying for a baby. 

He’d be the best dad.

So patient and caring. 

And the only person you know who could play catch for 18 hours straight. 

Every holiday was spent with the gang and their growing broods.

Hosted by Monica of course.

And though you all had your own lives and families it wasn’t too dissimilar to the days you spent at Central Perk. Just with a few more faces.

THIS IS PART OF MY CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE. I’LL BE POSTING AN IMAGINE EVERDAY FROM 1ST - 25TH DECEMBER. THIS AND ALL IMAGINES WILL BE UPLOADED IN THE LINK POSTED DAY BY DAY.

ADVENT CALENDAR OF IMAGINES

#my writing #my headcanons #joey tribbiani #joey tribbiani imagine #friends #friends imagine #friends headcanon #joey tribbiani headcanon #dating would include

[duskandstarlight]

The Girl (Nessian fanfic)

Notes: I needed angst and raw Nessian so... here we are. I have no idea if this is a prologue or a one-shot at this moment in time ( I think it's a prologue...) But here you are, a gift to you all because I am so shit at posting / writing these days...

And because it's not my jam writing-wise, now is the time to highlight that this will not be a pregnancy fic.

Prologue Cassian

It’s winter when he meets The Girl. Solstice lights are strung around the city and the music playing in the cramped bar is essentially a questionable mix of eighties, garage music and festive bangers that people scream along to until they’re hoarse.

Amongst the writhing bodies, Cassian spots her. Scarlet cami, hair like honey. He watches her for too long, the way her hips move to a rhythm nobody else quite seems to get like she does, the length of her ponytail as it swings to and fro. 

When she turns and meets his eyes, he’s a goner. And at the end of night, when he backs her into his apartment, he realises quickly that whoever this girl is, she takes what she wants and he’ll take what he can get.  

None of it takes long. 

It’s electric. It’s fire. It’s as if alone, they are both embers - but together they are the wind that ignites the spark, burning up a frenzy. His mouth on hers, the length of her hair wrapped around his palm whilst her fingers bite at his scalp. Her legs clamped around his hips as she unzips him and sinks down. 

It’s obscene that Cassian doesn’t think about protection. It’s there in the back of his mind, this small niggle. But he bats it away, marvelling instead at the pull and push of this primal attraction he’s never had before, relentless as the tide as it rushes back only to curl over inside of him again and hook him right back in.

When it’s over, Cassian has the distinct impression that he’s lost something, so he keeps his head buried in the crook of her neck a little too long. She smells like jasmine and vanilla and salt. Cassian feels as if he’s been shattered from some great height.

And then she’s untangling herself from him and tugging up her leather-look leggings over her hips, tucking her breasts back into her bra and pulling the scarlet satin cami back over her head. 

Cassian is still not quite back in the room when she grabs for her bag. Her voice is scratchy and thick with what they’ve just done. “It’s been fun.” 

The words have him scrambling up from the couch but his jeans are caught around his ankles.

“Hey,” he says as he manages to stand. The zipper jams in his shirt and he mutters a series of curses under his breath.

By the time he’s turned, the front door is shutting. 

She’s let herself out.

In all Cassian’s time sleeping around, he’s never seen such a quick exit. 

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