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#this man is not having a good time
clickerflight · 1 year
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Lawnmowers are scary: Joseph Part 3
This is the last of what I have for this guy. I might write more because I did quite enjoy this story line but IDK
CW: Vampire whumpee, body horror, the horrors of growing back your body, left on the side of the road, lawnmower scare, we do get to see an actually decent person in this one though!
Taglist: @whumpsday
Part 1 : Part 2
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Night came again and Joseph was back to growing. He could feel his consciousness fitting back into his body more and more, making him more and more aware as a skull formed, the brain growing every night. Joseph was not looking forward to being able to be completely aware of his body again. 
The 6th night out in the evening. He convulsed again, this time more painful and he sucked down his first breath of air as his brain kicked into gear. Joseph cried out softly, shivering as the cold became apparent, his limbs aching where they were supposed to be. He couldn’t see, his eyes still not formed. He only had one arm, the other one a stub that ended just before the elbow, and no legs to speak of. He sobbed, barely enough energy to keep breathing. He could feel the last of the energy granted by the blood injection trickle to a stop as he started to hear the things around him. He could hear small insects chirping and the occasional passing car. 
On instinct, he tried to drag himself forward with his one arm, but didn’t get anywhere. He sobbed again, opening his mouth with a half grown tongue, whispering for help, his words unintelligible. 
Sunrise came soon after.
Joseph determined that he was on the side of the road within the deep grass. It was dry and prickly against his skin and all he could really do was lay there and cry between naps. Without blood, his only energy came from sleep, but that wasn’t much with how much there was still to grow. 
Day came, bringing with it more sounds of cars. Joseph wondered how long he would have to be out here to be able to drag himself to the road in the hopes of getting help. He wondered if a blood moon would come along and give him strength soon. With his luck, he doubted it. David was the lucky one. 
Joseph heard heavy machinery start up, something that sounded like a heavy duty lawn mower. Horrified, Joseph realized that the prickly growth around him was dead grass and the lawn mower heralded the first step to keep fires from starting up on the sides of the freeway. 
And Joseph was hidden by the grass. He flinched as images of being torn apart by a lawn mower before the rider realized he was there flashed through his mind and that spurred some sort of adrenaline reaction out of his newly formed glands. He flailed in the grass with his arm, his fingers not even fully formed as he hoarsely cried out. 
“I’m here!” he said, trying to be heard, though he knew he wasn’t getting up loud enough to even possibly be heard by whoever was riding the mower. 
“Please,” he sobbed, his lungs aching from the effort. “Please, no, don’t hurt me. Please not again. I can’t do this again!”
The mower was deafening now and Joseph curled up as much as he could, putting his arm over his head as his body was wracked with sobs. 
The mower, like a blessing, stopped and was turned off so quickly he almost wondered if he had imagined the sound. 
An older man’s voice came to him with an empathic expletive and Joseph felt someone’s rough, warm hand between his shoulder blades. 
“Are you alive?” the man asked.
Joseph sobbed, shivering violently as he nodded and the man quickly patted his back.
“It’s alright there, I’m here. Uhh, I think I have a sterilization thing in my truck. I’m going to clean off my arm and I’ll be right back.”
Joseph couldn’t help the begging cry that escaped his throat and the man said, “I promise I’ll be right back, okay. Here.”
Joseph felt a coat drape over him and the man said, “Give me just a minute.”
The man disappeared and Joseph curled up under the coat, breathing quickly. His mind went numb in the face of being saved. 
The man was back. “Have you fed from someone before?” he asked gently, carefully levering Joseph into his lap.
Joseph nodded. “I took-took the classes.”
“Okay. Can, um, can I clean your teeth for you?”
Joseph opened his mouth and let his fangs flick down from behind his teeth and felt the man wipe off all of his teeth before putting his wrist to Joseph’s lips. Joseph concentrated, trying to remember what he had learned in those classes. He carefully licked the man’s wrist, tasting the alcohol there to clean it. He carefully bit down and started swallowing. He took a few swallows. He remembered that it was considerate to stop at three swallows, but when he tried to pull away the man said, “Do two more. You need it more than I do.”
Joseph gratefully did before pulling off, licking the wound closed. He gasped as more pain sprouted in his limbs as they started growing again and the man said, “I’m sorry man, this has got to suck. I called the police. They’ll be here soon.”
Joseph felt the rest of his tongue fill out as he said, “Thank you, thank you. I-I thought you were going to hit-hit me with the-with the…”
“I was scared too,” the man said. “I hope they find whoever did this to you, man.”
Joseph didn’t really hear anything else as his body decided that now was a good time for a factory reset. 
Part 4
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eorzeashan · 1 year
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on the double upside at least every time i play ffxiv I get to imagine a totally washed up theron walking out of a dungeon totally sopping wet with random monster attack slime looking miserable and when one of the scions asks what happened he just grinds his teeth and goes "ROULETTE."
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suiheisen · 14 days
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MONKEY MAN (2024)
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egophiliac · 8 months
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starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.
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deadsetobsessions · 2 months
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“DIDJA SEE THAT, DANNY?!” Tim, a scrawny eleven year old now, excitedly smacked Danny’s arm.
“Ow. Yes, yes I did.”
“Oh, gosh, I have to tell Jazz about this!!” The kid waved his arms about wildly, grinning from ear to ear.
“Jaso- I mean, Robin, smiled at me! And said he liked my t-shirt!! Oh my god, he likes literature puns, he even laughed! And then he punched the bad guy in the face! Look! I even saved the tooth!”
“Okayyy, nope!” Danny plucked the tooth and tossed it, ignoring Tim’s betrayed face. “I’ll trade you that for this.”
Danny Held out a piece of paper with Robin’s and Batman’s sigil on it, from when he asked them to sign it after they “saved” the two brothers from the two-bit thugs trying to mug them.
“Oh. My. God. This is like the best day of my life!! I love you, Danny! You’re the best brother ever!! Oh my god! I have to get Nightwing’s signature!!!”
Danny felt a rush of warmth at Tim’s proclamation of affection. Ah, he should probably step in.
“Hey, wait, no, we’re not going to Blüdhaven for you to stalk another vigilante.”
“It’s not just any old vigilante-!” Tim ignored Danny’s dramatic clutching-pearls gesture of mock hurt. “It’s Nightwing. The original Robin! He gave me my first ever hug!”
Danny paused. God dammit.
“…Fine.”
“YESSSSSS!!!!”
——
Danny-
“I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”
-is so damn tired.
“Tim. I’m literally a vigilante ghost. What makes you think I’d be stupid enough to argue with a kid who runs around Gotham at night to take pictures of other vigilantes?”
Tim deflated. “Oh. Honestly, I thought you’d put up more of a fight…”
Jazz laughed and ruffled Tim’s hair. “I definitely couldn’t stop Danny when he went out. He trusted me to support him and I trusted him to come to me if he was injured, though. Can you promise me that, Tim?”
“Yeah… okay, Jazz, I promise.” Tim promised, even if he was still pouty.
Danny chimed in.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m totally worried and I’m gonna hover like a mother hen when you go out, but again, I know how stubborn and crazy we vigilante types have to be.” Danny paused. “Do you want me to put up a token protest?”
Tim nodded, sulking. “Yes, please. I had a speech planned out.”
Jazz and Danny exchanged amused glances.
“Oh, okay, my bad, kiddo. Here, let’s start from the top.”
“Okay. Ahem,” Tim straightened his back, settling into his previous mulish expression once more. “I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”
Danny placed an appropriately disapproving frown on his face. “No, you can’t! It’s dangerous! You could get hurt! You’re just a child!”
Tim launched into his speech. “But I can’t stay still and do nothing when people are getting hurt! Even…!”
They were gonna be here for a while. There was definitely something about Batman going on a spiral because Jason wouldn’t be able to walk again after the Joker got to him. Danny wondered if ectoplasm could help. He might offer, if it actually had a change of getting Tim out of the vigilante business.
But that’s for later, because they had time. Jazz was on Spring Break… and they’re still staying here for free, after all of these years.
“So, how are you going to convince Robin to let you be Robin?” Jazz asked Tim.
Tim froze. “I… hadn’t thought of that yet.”
“Well, you could always remind him of the fact that we saved him from the Joker. He seemed pretty ready to leave the Robin mantle, the last time I saw him as Phantom.”
“I don’t want to blackmail him into it!” Tim whined.
“It’ll just be a suggestion, Tim.” Jazz smiled patiently.
“Besides,” Danny continued, smirking mischievously at his adopted little brother. “If you were actually blackmailing him, you’d pull out the photos where he ate dirt.”
“I guess that’s true…” Tim mumbled. “I know! I’ll have to follow them to see how I can best approach him!”
"I think that's called stalking," Jazz deadpanned.
"Well, it's not any worse than what he's already done." Danny shrugged at his older sister. "Sure, kid. Why not? Do whatever you want."
"I was planning to!" Tim bounced off to grab his photography gear. Jazz stared off after him.
"Should we be encouraging that?"
"More like can we actually stop him?" Danny leaned back, lazily completing his GED assignments. Jazz sighed.
"Guess not. Make sure he doesn't get in trouble."
"Do you even know how hard that is, Jazz?" Danny complained, dodging the whack Jazz sent at the back of his head. She smirked at him.
"Womp, womp, Danny. How does karma taste today?"
Danny flipped her off as he put the last punctuation on the paper. He heard a clatter and groaned.
“I’m gonna go watch Tim stalk Batman for the night. Want anything from the store?”
Jazz hummed. “Get me the specialty strawberry ice cream, from that one place?”
“The one that’s definitely a front for Falcone’s money laundering??”
“Yeah. They make good strawberry ice cream.”
“Sure.”
Danny went ghost and flew straight through the walls to catch Tim sneaking out by the scruff of his collar.
“No. Bad Tim.”
“Awww, come on Danny!”
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puppetmaster13u · 2 months
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Prompt 257
Now Danny loves space. He loves everything about it, to the point his core quite literally is space. And he’s also a baby ghost, even if he could argue he’s not in human form. But see, being baby has an honestly great consequence once it’s noticed- despite the Observants’ best attempts at hiding it, the assholes. 
Of course he would be far more worried- and even a bit pissed- if his caretaker wasn’t who it was. Look, he’d never met Clockwork’s siblings before, but apparently everyone was really against Clockwork himself adopting. 
But Clockwork as his uncle is fine. Besides, his caretaker is Space! Space itself is holding him, cooing gentle words in the sounds of the very cosmos. And they’re huge, like parts of their body going through portals so they can fit outside Long-Now sized big- and apparently Clockwork can get just as big and they can get even bigger- 
Okay, he needs to take a breath- even if he doesn’t need to breathe- to stop his squealing because holy Realms this is so cool. 
Space is awesome! And he’s getting so much more rest than he did in Amity- and even if Space sort of shrugged at the idea of school at first, they did help him set up online schooling. So there’s that, and it’s just the start! 
He gets to learn so much about space and it’s honestly kind of… nice? To be taken care of? And he can do whatever he needs for his Core and Obsession with only a few interruptions to take care of his living needs. Erm, sort of living needs? 
But even that gets turned into a bit of play or even a lesson too! He’s honestly having such a good time right now! He’s learning so much about spaaace! And dimensions! And interdimensional portals and- oops! No one saw that. 
Ahem- But he’s learning so much about space and getting to explore other dimensions with Cosmos! And sure he no longer looks as human as he once did and all that, but he’s seen so many people who also don’t look human that does it really matter? 
Of course it doesn’t, and he matches his sort-of-dad! Even though the streaks of color in their hair are more of a brown-red like they’re literally bleeding out the cosmos around them instead of it fading to void and space like his own. But still! They match and it’s fun! 
And they’re going to go on another trip from the in-between to one of the dimension realities! He’s going to start a game of tag this time he thinks! But no cheating with portals or bending space! Tag! 
Look, the Justice League? Not paid enough for this. In fact, technically not paid at all due to being volunteers (not that it stopped them from finding money in their accounts) but still. 
There is some sort of figure… being… thing… zooming around the asteroid belt, about the size of Earth itself. Let them repeat themselves. A planet-sized creature (are those hands or paws? Tail or simply its body stretching? Hair or the Abyss-) is currently darting around the asteroid belt like a child running through grass. 
That is, without noticing or caring if something bug-sized might be crushed. And they are very much bug sized, as the governments are concerned about. Like really concerned about. Like talking about trying to nuke the entity if it wanders closer sort of concerned. 
Which they are all very concerned and very much like, against. Because it isn’t seeming to notice the asteroids it’s knocking into their area. It’s like… not a space whale or eel or anything like that but also is something like that. 
And they would also maybe like to see if they can attempt to talk it down first maybe and-
oh. 
Oh. 
That creature is the baby. And mama just arrived, stretching across the entire galaxy, from them to Pluto and beyond, like something took the cosmos and shaped it like clay into some sort of form. Like reality itself has wandered into their galaxy with what they are suddenly realizing must be a very young child. 
Shit, they really have to make sure no one tries to piss either of these things off-
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demigod-of-the-agni · 10 months
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The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.
I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay
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snowyfrostshadows · 3 months
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So.
We went from this for Starclan Cats:
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To.
This:
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Biggest downgrade of my life.
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ruporas · 6 months
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in a mood (ID in alt)
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little-pondhead · 6 months
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[sorry for the tiny text!!]
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Danny: Wait, how did you learn to do that???
Fright Knight: *violent flashbacks to Clockwork's Sailor Moon era*
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 17 days
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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ricky-mortis · 2 months
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Time Bastard trapped in Tinky’s blorbo box
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tanglepelt · 7 months
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Dp x dc idea 149
Vlad and Danny are in a ghost fight. Vlad hits him with an attack forcing him human.
Just then a portal opens. Vlads attack continues and they both crash through the portal. Danny crashing into the floor in the center of a Wayne gala.
To everyone else they see a wannabe vampire look alike just attacking a random black hair blue eyed teen. Forcing him through a portal.
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cornettotism · 4 months
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Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.
Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."
The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA
I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.
He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-
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egophiliac · 4 months
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
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...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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neonlazycat · 1 month
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LDR moon by @spadillelicious
Guys.....I caved in
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