#though not by much given the majority of the other supes

[teratocore]

It’s fucked up the way Homelander really sees the Seven, at least the original seven, as his family. He’s obviously controlling about it —likely as a result of having no other avenues of control on his personal life and no basis for healthy relationships because of his upbringing— and so he’s maladapted and thinks that by cutting off them any way of leaving him without his consent he has a kind of certainty that they will be a constant for him no matter how he actually treats them or even actually feels about them. (See: his seeming disdain for Deep compared to the more analogous familial roles he gives to the other members. Like to him Deep is like the family dog.) This man is actually so clearly desperate for human connection but cannot help himself but to not only hold the bird in its proverbial cage, but to squeeze it in his fist because he cannot conceive of any other way to actually be close to other people.

#personal #Homelander #the boys #he’s actually really fascinating #the fact that he is so stunted emotionally is often played semi jokingly #like his he was jealous of Stilwells baby #but it’s also so tragic #if they had given him any kind of actual surrogate family #he might have at least turned out maybe slightly more well adjusted #though not by much given the majority of the other supes

[sehtoast]

Too Much, But Never Enough (Homelander x Reader)

18+

2.7k - Warning: Oral sex, wild supe sex with webshooter holes, Homelander being Homelander, overstimulation, squirting. Brief mention of top surgery scars- nothing graphic.

 !please note, Y/n is written as a pre-bottom surgery trans man. otherwise, the vast majority of Y/n's physical descriptors (eye color, hair color, etc) are kept to a minimum for the sake of reader inclusivity- and also lmao i basically stole spiderman for Y/n's supe identity, so there are some references to that

John's eyes fluttered open, disturbed by the bustling roar of the city. He'd had a lifetime of experience filtering the sheer volume of the world from his senses, and he'd honed the practice to the point that it came as naturally as breathing. Sometimes, though, he'd slip up- typically while he rested- and the world would flood his head. 

He sighed, willing the noise to deafen. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 7:43a.m, and he'd typically decide to chase sleep once more. Homelander, however, had other ideas. 

Ever since establishing a relationship with Y/n, he'd been very curious about the way his lover's webs worked, particularly where they exited his body.  Sure, he could always just ask; Y/n had never given him a reason to feel he couldn't, but it just seemed so… clinical. 

He didn't want to skirt anywhere near the line of behaving like the doctors did in the lab, but he couldn’t deny the ever growing curiosity every time he saw Y/n shoot a line of webbing. 

Homelander felt less disturbed by the act of observation when Y/n was asleep.  It would be so easy, too.  Y/n was snuggled into his side with an arm slung over his chest, and said arm was all but inviting him to sneak a peek.  The web-head was a relatively heavy sleeper, a trait John had recently found himself emulating when they slept side by side. He never once stirred as Homelander lifted his hand. 

On his wrist was a small, circle-like pattern of dots encompassing a slightly larger, vertical slit.  When the holes were shut, they were practically invisible- that is, unless the observer was specifically looking for them.  The only thing, truly, that looked off was the paler coloration of the skin just under the spinnerets.  Homelander ran his thumb over it, watching with fascination as all of the holes seemed to flex in response to his touch. 

This, of course, piqued his curiosity even further. 

John used his thumb to curl Y/n’s middle and ring fingers down, prompting a limp, wet web to spray from the orifice.  It splattered against the wall, oozing just slightly before hardening into the viscous consistency Y/n’s webbing usually carried.  He repeated the action, achieving the same messy result.  He deduced that Y/n was able to select the variety of webbing when he himself was in control of the act- or, perhaps, awake enough to dictate it. 

The spinneret remained flexed, and all of the holes were open in preparation to produce even more sticky silk.  John ran his thumb against them once more.  In their flared position, they were firm, yet fleshy.  Somehow soft and hard at the same time.  Homelander held his thumb in place, circling over the opening with more pressure now, growing bold in his invasive observation.  He could feel the slit twitch underneath the pad of his finger, and a light groan slipped free from Y/n’s mouth. 

Oh, he thought to himself, what have we here?

He circled the holes once again, this time with even more pressure.  The minor web spigots flexed, coaxing the major opening to widen further, and John could hear Y/n’s breathing speed up.  He could smell the slightest drips of arousal beginning to pool in Y/n’s core, and his eyes widened at the revelation washing over him. 

Y/n’s spinnerets were a fucking erogenous zone. 

A devilishly sly smile crept onto Homelander's face, etching deep as the excitement of his discovery prompted new, filthy thoughts in his mind.  He felt his cock jump at the mere thought of unearthing a new way to tease Y/n. 

 Homelander continued his ministrations, even as he felt Y/n stir next to him and gasp his name. 

 “J-John? Wh- ah!” 

 “Good morning, gorgeous!” He chirped, accenting the final word with a firm press. 

 “What- how are you d-doing that?” 

 Y/n was confused.  Somehow, without being anywhere near his aching core, John had him dripping fucking wet.  Jolts of pleasure rippled through his body, running hot toward his cunt, and he suddenly realized they were synchronized with the motion of Homelander’s thumb against his wrist. 

 “Oh, just playing around,” John lilted, rolling his thumb once more. 

 “How- what- what’s-” Y/n keened, burying his face against Homelander’s chest to stifle his sounds.  He was desperately, painfully aroused.  The web-head kicked the blanket off their naked forms and threw his leg over John’s waist, straddling him. 

 John could smell how badly Y/n needed him, but the tantalizing thought of rubbing his love to completion with this newfound sweet spot was simply too good to pass up.  He reached out, taking Y/n’s other wrist with his free hand, ghosting the pad of his thumb across the spinneret in sync with the other. 

 “F-fuck,” Y/n moaned freely, rolling his hips against Homelander to seek something, anything to offset the aching insanity John had thrown him into. 

 “You like that?”  John rasped, pushing his hips upward to aid the web-head in his quest for friction.  When he went unanswered, Homelander stilled his fingers.  “I said, do you fucking like that?” 

 “I l-love it,” Y/n whimpered, rolling his hips once more.  “Please, please don’t stop!” 

 Homelander resumed massaging the web-head’s spinnerets, beaming widely at the sight of his lover grinding against him to chase his release.  John watched Y/n reposition himself just slightly, grinding his sopping wet cunt against the hard cock that was just begging to pound him into the bed.  He gasped, cursing under his breath that Y/n found a way to tease him in return. 

 Y/n rolled his hips back, sliding his hardened clit against the underside of John’s shaft, both of them groaning in unison.  Every time Homelander rolled his thumbs against the spinnerets, Y/n's walls clenched, begging for something to fill the void. 

 “L-let me r-ride you, p-please,” Y/n gasped out, gyrating against the tip of John’s cock.  He leaned down, engulfing Homelander in a wet, needy kiss, working his tongue into his lover’s mouth to further plead his case.  “Please,” he begged. 

 “Mmm,” Homelander hummed, “convince me.” 

 “Please, please, please let me ride you!” Y/n accentuated his pleas with more rolls of his hips, spreading his wetness even further onto John’s throbbing shaft, to the point it was beginning to pool onto the valley of his hips. 

 Homelander had never seen Y/n so fucking wet before, and the sight stirred a carnal hunger deep within him.  Strings of arousal followed his lover’s cunt every time their hips parted, and John’s cock would jump to chase after the sopping heat it so desperately longed for. 

 “I need you in me, John, I need you so fucking bad!  I need you to fill me up, make me feel so full, so good, so fucking good, just like you always do!” 

 What a way to wake up.  God, he’d be thinking of those words all day fucking long, now.  John practically signed off on his own passive torture for the next twenty-four hours, if not the rest of the week. 

 Homelander relented, releasing one of Y/n’s wrists for a moment to guide his cock into the warmth of Y/n's core.  A breath caught in his throat as his shaft slid through the wet, silky folds of his lover’s cunt.  He groaned when Y/n impaled himself the rest of the way. The head of his cock nudged against the web-head’s cervix, and John could’ve spilled right there and then, but he fought it off for the sake of giving Y/n exactly what he wanted- no, what he needed.  He took Y/n’s wrists once more, and the resulting clench around his cock had him seeing fucking stars. 

 “Oh, god!” Y/n yelped, rolling his hips to finally satiate the burning need deep within him.  He didn’t even entertain the idea of starting slow, he just started bouncing away, fucking himself as hard as he could against the man responsible for his condition.  The feeling at his spinnerets was akin to the overstimulation he felt when he’d touch his clit after cumming, except it was nonstop with next to no buildup.  It simply felt like overstimulation without the eventual unpleasant overwhelm. 

 And it was fucking incredible. 

 He’d never discovered this trait before- because why the fuck would he finger his web holes?  But, god, was he glad John figured it out.  He could only dream of the wild spin this discovery would put on their sex life. 

 Y/n’s mind blanked as he rode John, the act bordering on aggressive as he sought his release. 

 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!  John, fuck!” he cried. 

 “Y-Y/n,” Homelander called out before fucking up into him at an impossibly fast pace, meeting his bounces with loud, wet claps of skin.  He was close- too fucking close to stop now. 

 John yanked one of Y/n's wrists to his mouth, tonguing directly over the larger opening. He dipped the tip inside, just as a tease, and he felt Y/n's entire body lock up. 

 Y/n’s vision tunneled as he came.  His breath caught deep within his diaphragm, only sputtering out in choked gasps as his body shivered and shook against the intensity of his climax.  He only vaguely registered the sensation of John’s final thrust, and could barely even feel the flow of hot cum pumping through him as his body seemed to shut down.  Bursts of net webbing fizzled from his wrists, spraying onto John and leaking onto the bed.  Sparks of his ever elusive bio-electricity sputtered down Y/n’s spine, and, god, Homelander must have felt them- because he cried out harder than Y/n had ever heard before. 

 “John, John, John,” Y/n chanted in mindless, breathy whispers, suddenly falling forward onto the pillow when the spasming of his muscles subsided. 

 The two of them laid there, both fucked into an otherworldy haze, completely unconcerned with the mess of webbing clinging to their bodies. 

 Homelander kept an iron-tight grip on Y/n’s wrists, using the feel of them to anchor himself in reality.  He could hardly believe the scene he’d caused by just exploring the fucking source of Y/n’s webbing. 

 John leaned his head against Y/n’s, peppering kisses to his darling little spider’s flushed cheek, working down to press heavier, wetter kisses to his neck. 

 “Good boy,” he praised, mimicking the honey-sweet way Y/n would always say it to him. 

 Y/n had finally reached a point of coherence strong enough to chuckle breathlessly at John’s praise. 

 “Hey, that’s my line...” 

 Homelander flipped them both suddenly, pulling out in one fluid motion before shimmying down between Y/n’s legs. 

 Y/n grabbed a handful of John’s messy blonde locks to hang on for dear life as a hot tongue ran between his folds, lapping up the mixture of their cum that leaked from his core. 

 John pressed his tongue in as far as it could reach, fucking the fluids from Y/n's core before moving up to his clit, sucking the engorged head of it between his lips to flick his wet muscle against it.  He basked in the sweet cries of his lover as he tortured him further.  Homelander worked two fingers into Y/n’s cunt, using them to draw out even more of that divine blend of their juices. 

 Y/n couldn’t possibly take more of this, but oh, god, he would- he would and he would do it with tears rolling down his cheeks.  He ground his hips up into John’s mouth, panting and moaning wantonly as he was licked clean, only to leak more of his arousal for Homelander to consume. 

 “J-John, please, oh, god, please!” he cried out as Homelander took his clit once more. 

 Homelander flattened his tongue against the engorged bud, pressing the perfect pressure while dancing it in circles.  He’d replaced his fingers, fucking Y/n with them, rubbing against his sweet spot when he felt he needed even more of his lover’s delicious release.  He was utterly addicted to Y/n, down to even the most chemical of senses.  John could drown in the sea of Y/n’s juices, buried in his cunt, and it still wouldn’t be enough to satiate his appetite for his lover. 

 Y/n cried out as a second climax overtook him, arching his back and thrusting like a madman against John’s face.  He wept as he felt Homelander’s tongue return to his hole, feasting upon the new flood leaking from him.  Y/n sat up and yanked harshly on John’s hair, practically begging him to give a reprieve, at least for a moment. 

 “Please, please,” he heaved through heavy breaths, “at least let me- ah!” 

 John shoved Y/n down with his free hand, splaying his lover back on the bed, wordlessly demanding he lie there and take it. 

 “John, p-please,” Y/n sobbed.  His legs shook, and his cunt ached from the relentlessness of Homelander’s tongue.  But, oh, god, it was so good.

 Homelander was having his victory lap, and he was determined to enjoy every fucking second of it.  He reached up, pulling one of Y/n’s hands away from his scalp to pin it to the bed.  His thumb crept up, rubbing tantalizingly slow against Y/n’s spinneret once more. 

 That was all it took. 

 “FUCK!”  Y/n screamed, arching once more against the bed, though, this time with a surprise for John. 

 A spray of ejaculate shot from Y/n’s core, coating Homelander’s chin before he could cover the source to properly savor and feast upon his job well done. 

 He’d made Y/n squirt. 

 Oh, yes, he’d made Y/n fucking squirt.

 The thought alone had him shooting another load onto the bed sheets, moaning in pure ecstasy as he got just what he needed.  John reached down with his cum soaked hand to sweep his seed onto his fingers, only to bring them back to Y/n, painting the opening of his quivering cunt with it.  He licked every inch of Y/n clean, savoring the sweet combination of their cum once more.  Above him echoed the babbling, nonsensical voice of the love of his life, who he’d personally reduced to shambles. 

 A fact he was very proud of. 

 When John finally decided Y/n gave enough, he crawled back up to his darling love, trailing soft kisses every step of the way, paying special attention to Y/n's nipples and the faded scars running under the ridge of his pectorals. 

 He took in the scene before him. 

 Y/n lay there, mouth wide open from his desperate gulps for air, eyes clenched shut, brows furrowed like he’d only just climaxed milliseconds– rather than minutes– ago. 

 “You did so well,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to Y/n’s neck, right over his pulse.  His love’s heartbeat quickly fell back to a resting rate after his climax.  He was so, so proud at just how far he’d unraveled Y/n. 

 When Y/n didn’t even nod at the praise, John felt the small bubbles of worry flutter in his gut.  Why wasn’t he replying?  Had he taken things too far? Why wasn’t he- 

 Limp arms suddenly curled around his neck, coaxing him down. 

 Y/n had gotten as far as closing his gaping jaw, but was so fucked out of his mind that he couldn’t even find words.  He could, however, press a weak kiss to John’s temple. 

 Homelander accepted the small act of affection with a warm smile.  He pulled Y/n’s limp body against his own, trailing his fingertips up and down Y/n’s back to soothe him. 

 “You took me so well,” he murmured against the top of Y/n’s head.  “God, I fucking love you.” 

 Y/n’s eyelids were far too heavy to fight anymore, and he’d nuzzled even closer to Homelander.  He felt weightless, like he could fly on his own.  He’d never, ever climaxed so hard in his life.  It felt like he’d run a whole fucking marathon. 

 “Love you,” he sighed softly against John’s chest, “more.” 

 The final word took the last of his effort as sleep fought to overtake him, but Y/n was determined to finish their long running theme. 

 I love you always had to be met with I love you more.

 After all, Y/n couldn’t rest peacefully unless he knew John had been reminded that the gravity of their love was limitless. 

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander smut #the boys tv #the boys homelander #boy let me tell you idk what came over me when i wrote this but #SURE AM GLAD I DID #this shit belongs at herogasm honestly #sehtoast writing

[theeonlyroman]

@lovelyladyabsinthewrites: This is inspired by her hcs and story on Homelander being obsessed with his sister. Everyone go check her work out! It’s great! 😊

Homelander’s Odd Obsession I HCs

You were born a decade after HL, only meant to be his younger sister and primarily as a way to ease his already budding psychotic behavior.

It failed, when they introduced you both and made the mistake of “rejecting him” which made HL attempt to kill you when you were born merely children. But he failed to do so primarily because your body was indestructible so Vought had no choice but to send you away on an alternate path.

Stan Edgar being one of the few people to save you from ending up as “bad product” decided to have you raised under a more controlled environment where the outcome is for you to become the “All-American, Feminist Hero” as a way to show the public that they can come up with the times and that even corporate America believes in the feminist movement.

In regards to your power there was two distinct things about you that separated you from HL, your body is high in zinc and essentially given the “cheat code” to already have the knowledge and fighting capabilities in martial arts this being implemented in your brain as a fetus. Two primary factors that makes HL weaker compared to you that will play a major role in your relationship to The Boys.

You grew up as an “All American Girl in middle class suburbia”; your “parents” (Vought) gave you the perfect life, you had excelled in pretty much everything, joined school events, participated in school sports, had great friends (employees of Vought) yada yada yada every aspect of your life was carefully cultivated to “perfection” for the benefit of Vought.

But what made this “unique” was Stan Edgar who had taken an interest in your growth who had acted as your school guidance counselor, who in a odd way reminded you of the Cheshire Cat.

You graduated from your high school as valedictorian at the top of your class and was “tearfully” sent off to college by Stan Edgar himself who promised that he’d be there with you every step of the way. Interesting right?.

You were soon accepted into Godolkin University with a full ride scholarship with your major being supe medical sciences.

It was then you were spotted by none other than HL himself, what had peeked his interest about you was that you had shared the same shocking blue eyes as he did and he couldn’t easily spot you because of the high amounts of zinc in your body.

But your fatal mistake is that much like the others you idolized Homelander, you aspired to be just like him and your goal was to fight crime alongside him as a member of The Seven.

So HL being well HL decided to introduce himself to you under the guise of being a mentor to which you had eagerly taken too and because of this HL was charmed by you.

He loved that you had practically worshipped the ground he walked on and listened to his every word, you were an eager protege that looked at him as though he hung the moon and stars but most importantly you were able to keep up with him in terms of power which made him even more eager to be around you.

But there was two things he couldn’t shake and that was your eye color and the high amount of zinc in your body that only a select few knew that he couldn’t see.

So he decided to “investigate” but that really meant terrorizing Ashley into giving him information and making The Deep his dumbass lap dog.

It was then he discovered that your carefully hidden file, he learned that you are his sister by blood and the purpose of your creation was that you were meant for him but had been sent off because he had tried to kill you and rather than Vought “putting you down” (which would’ve been virtually impossible) they had sent you away on a much different path.

But HL didn’t read your file as the truth he read it as Vought cruelly depriving him of the one thing he desperately wanted and that was a family so he responded in his usual fashion and imposed his will on Vought and purposing the idea of the “Superhero and spunky sidekick trope”. HL cleverly stated that by him being the strongest and choosing you as his protege will benefit Vought in two ways; 1. Your a woman and 2. He will eventually name you as leader to The Seven. Which will benefit Vought in terms of popularity polls for a multitude of reasons i.e. feminism, corporate America, yada yada yada

Stan had no choice but to not only agree with this but to finally allow you and HL to officially become apart of each other lives.

So what that means for you is that not only are you a college student but you will now also be an official member of The Seven as HL’s esteemed protege, your supe name being

“Rosa, The All American Beauty, the girl boss that can do it all!”

So once HL was able to achieve in getting what he wants, he goes to you with “grim news” but really he’s there to tell you that you will officially be a member of The Seven as his protege.

Upon hearing this news you cry happy tears thanking him for this amazing opportunity and give him a genuine hug throwing nothing but genuine praises at him.

He tries to refrain from breaking character but it’s really difficult for him at the time but after sometime he left you (regretfully) to your own devices and he totally started crying happy tears that he’s finally got what he so desperately wanted and when you had hugged him for the first time in a long time it felt like it was genuine and the affection was real and not out of fear.

God that man is touch deprived.

Even though…your entire life was built out of lies but shhhh you don’t know that YET.

#the boys #homelander #stan edgar #reader is op ASF #billy butcher #soldier boy #might make more #might make this a fic #headcanon #reader is a golden retriever #total American Girl Scout #starlight #homelander fanfiction

[imunbreakabledude]

I've been on a Elena/Maeve mood today and while on the bus I started thinking about many things but I wanted to ask you about one in particular, especially because I don't know how these things works in USA.

So, I assume Maeve had money. I don't know how much but if they're meant to be like very popular celebrities I assume she had a considerable amount. What do you think happened to that, if she's "dead"?

Could she have a will? Do you think she left everything to her father? Or maybe even to Elena since she, presumably, didn't have anyone else and still loved her? Or she found a way to get it somehow before going into hiding?

I don't know, just a random thought but I was really curious to hear your take...

oh boy. i HAVE thought about this a bunch, though not for a long time, so let me think back and also do some more quick googling to get together a way too detailed pitch that basically boils down to "celebrities are rich" (i am procrastinating at work lol).

disclaimer that i am not very smart about money shit and just going from casual knowledge and guesses

so, yeah, Maeve certainly has a lot of money. but to try to get a better idea, i'm guessing her net worth in the hundreds of millions range, definitely not billionaire because a billion dollars is a stupid amount and most of the richest entertainers don't even come that close.

I don't think the show gives solid numbers very often but one reference point we have is in the pilot, Madelyn offers the mayor of Baltimore a contract with Nubian Prince for $300 million per year. Even if we assume Vought is taking the majority of that for themselves, that suggests that a Supe like him is getting at least $50-100mil per year as payment. Which makes me think the Seven are probably all getting over $100 mil per year through some combination of salary and other compensation. That's not even getting into how much they might get in terms of merchandising or image rights, etc. And Maeve, I would GUESS is one of the higher paid in the Seven? but then again, maybe not, because of how women are usually paid less in general... but also in episode 1, when Translucent mentions they've all got "four points" (i believe this means 4% stake in merchandising? which tbh would be LARGE for each of them) - then A-Train says "the fuck, you got four points?" (a nice nod to him getting a worse contract as a newer member or bc of racism...) and Maeve adds, "and clearly, better lawyers." which, doing my thing where I take one line of hers and wildly extrapolate from it, says to me she feels good about whatever her contract is so talk about it so glibly, like she knows she has good lawyers & got hers... and she doesn't chime in with what % she gets but seems like its 4 or higher but she's smart enough to keep her mouth shut about it, ANYWAYS none of that matters...

tbh, some of those numbers sound ridiculously high, so idk, but this is a fuckin fictional show about superpowers, so it doesn't matter--

the point is, Maeve probably has a net worth in the nine digits.

I imagine her good lawyers would not allow her to NOT have a proper will laid out for what happens to her money. so there's gotta be some plan in place. I like to believe she explicitly left nothing to her father, just to spite him. idk if he could try legal action to get a piece of it (i dont know much about the law around this stuff) as her next of kin... but I imagine if she had a proper signed will saying he got none, that would stand. I don't know that she would include Elena in her will because that would kinda out her, but maybe if she trusts her lawyer and doesn't care about people knowing after she dies, she would. Or maybe she'd do it secretly, more on that later. given that we don't know anyone else significant in her life, I bet that she specified the majority of her money would go to charity. not out of goodness of her heart, exactly, just that she has nowhere else to give it and that's an easy lazy answer, yknow?

but then idk what happens to the rights to her image, or her profit shares in merchandise/movies after she dies. again, not a lawyer, but when celebs die their rights usually go to their "estate", so maybe her dad would have a say? but also idk if an "estate" is automatically granted to next of kin or if that's something that has to be specified ahead of time in a will (in which case she could deny it to him)... but the most likely outcome in either case seems to be that Vought would own her likeness forever, especially given the comments in the show when A-Train is on the verge of being replaced by Shockwave, that Vought owns his name and will put Shockwave in his costume. (which is a weird thought to me, though, bc A-Train replaced a guy with a different name and costume, why wouldn't they let Shockwave be Shockwave in the Seven? lmfao. maybe that dude was just trying to get A-Train scared.).

All that to say I think the majority of her money would be inaccessible to her after her "death". BUT. I think Maeve being a smart person who clearly wanted out from Vought for a long time probably had an emergency fund set up somehow, whether it was stashing actual physical cash in case she went on the run, or some secret account under a different name she could access in the future (or elena could access). i don't know how people actually do this, but you know who would know? ELENA, who is a banker. and since Maeve and Elena did at some point talk about running away from the Seven together, I bet she told Maeve exactly whatever is the smartest way to hide some of her money so she could take it in an emergency, and Maeve probably implemented that for several years leaving them a sizable amount to live off of post-season-3... even if it's a tiny fraction of Maeve's former wealth.

sorry that was way too many words for vague speculation but as I said I'm procrastinating HAHAHA

#supemaeve #ask #the boys #queen maeve #again i'm not smart about legal or financial stuff i only know snippets from occasional news stories and fiction lol #but tbh the idea that nubian prince could be earning that much #and that the seven could all be getting potentially 100mil per YEAR in salary #seems a little ridiculous to me #especially if there are a lot of famous supes to choose from #if they were the ONLY popular ones i might get it #but if every supe who works in a medium city like baltimore commands that much... #i dont know that that much money exists in the economy #it feels sus #when top actors are mostly in the mid-100 mils #but idk i guess it's plausible #they're on the tier of like the richest athletes and entertainers #i just dont know how many other B-tier supes could possibly be earning that much #or on the other hand maybe nubian prince is getting totally ripped off and he gets like 10mil while vought takes 290 mil

[batman-katflap]

Congrats on your milestone! If you want, BruClark where Batman has been magicked into a wolf or creature of your choice on a mission and only Superman can approach him and give him scritches. Everyone is jealous lol

Thank you for your prompt! I hope you like what I did with it XD

“Okay, can I be the first to ask," Hal said. "What the fuck is going on?” 

When Hal had been called to the Watchtower, he had expected something routine to be the reason. Perhaps a meeting, or maybe there was some maintenance work that needed to be dealt with, Hell, he wouldn't have been surprised to find out that he was only called to try and free Barry after he'd gotten stuck in the air vents-- again. He did not however, expect whatever it was he had just walked in on. His team on the other hand, already present, appeared far more at ease with the current situation, which if anything, only made Hal all the more confused. 

“Uh, so.” Zatanna began, her hands clasped together as though in prayer. “Turns out the spell I was working on had a few issues.”

“And what were those issues exactly?” Hal asked, stopping beside her and looking at the source of his confusion. There was a small dog sitting on Clark’s lap, and whilst a dog's presence in the Watchtower wasn’t exactly novel given Krypto’s occasional appearance, it was what the dog was wearing that really had Hal questioning life. “Seriously, Z, how bad do you gotta mess up a spell for it to give a dog spats?”

“That’s, uh,” Zatanna said, looking all the more put upon. “That’s not a dog. That’s Bruce.” 

“What do you mean it’s--” But Hal didn’t finish his question as all at once his disbelief evaporated, only to be replaced with a grin so large it hurt. “No way."

“Yup.” She said, letting out a shallow breath. "And I sort of need all hands on deck to try and fix this."

"Why would we wanna fix it, though?" Hal asked, crouching down to Bruce's eye line. He was a small thing, covered in long black fur, a Pomeranian if Hal had to guess. Despite being a dog, he still managed to maintain the same air of general annoyance that Bruce was known for. Hal brought his hand out and went to reach for his ears. "I think he's so much better like--"

But Hal didn’t manage to pet him as Bruce snarled and nipped at his hand about as well as a dog of his size could be expected to do. It still hurt, though and Hal pulled his hand back with a yelp. He looked down at it and saw the red marks start to blossom with blood. "Jesus! That fucking hurt!"

No one however offered Hal any sympathy. "Bruce doesn't like to be touched in his human form, what made you think this would be any different?" Diana asked, raising a brow.

"I dunno! The fact that he's small and fluffy maybe?” Hal rubbed his hand, huffing. “Should be expected to be petted..."

"Yeah, no. He snaps at anyone who tries." Ollie said, holding up his own red hand.

"Clark’s holding him, though." Hal said gesturing at the man in question now scratching behind Bruce's ears like Hal had tried to do. Although his response this time was less ‘sharp teeth’ and more ‘swishing tail’. "Seriously. The fuck?"

"Maybe it's ‘cause I know Bruce better then all of you." Clark said, his smile warm as he continued to pet the dog on his lap. "For one, I knew he wanted to be dressed the minute I came up here. Y’all were just letting him run ‘round naked..."

"Not naked." Dinah said with a roll of the eyes. "He’s a dog, Clark. He’s covered in fur. Our focus was on trying to get him back to normal, rather than covering his…" she grimaced. "How did you put it?"

Clark looked at her indignantly. "His little starfish."

"...Right." Dinah continued, letting out a small sigh. "But now that he is suitably covered, we can focus on getting him back to being human. So Zatanna, what are your thoughts?"

But before she could respond, Hal held up his non bitten hand and stopped her. "Wait." Hal said. "You’re telling me he didn't turn into a dog wearing this?” He gestured to the outfit Bruce was currently sporting. “You put him in it yourself?"

"Yes." Clark said with a nod.

"Because…" Hal went on, making a face. "His asshole was out?"

"I told you. I know Bruce. And I know if he were to be turned into a dog his major worry would be 'certain parts' of his body being on show. So when I got up here and found him backed into a corner, snarling at all of y’all, I knew why. So I ran and got some baby clothes from the store and came back up here, dressed him. and now lookit him.” Clark said the last part whilst lifting Bruce up onto his hind legs and showing his outfit off fully. "He's adorable!"

Bruce looked less than impressed by being shown off in such a way, but he was the only one who did as the rest of the team shared Clark’s own verdict that he did indeed look adorable (though none of them said anything, fearing what Bruce would do to them when he turned back human if they did) Hal however, still had questions. "That explains the pants, sure…" He said, raising a brow. "Not the shirt or the spats. Why is he wearing those?"

"Oh, well, I also knew Bruce would feel like an idiot just wearing the pants, so I got him a shirt and shoes too so he'll have a little outfit." Clark shrugged a shoulder.  

"God, Supes you sound like you’re married to him or something.”

Clark looked away at that, his cheeks red and it was then that Dinah looked to Hal, her brows raised in contempt. “Okay, Hal. Now that you know why Bruce looks like a mini maitre d', can we let Zatanna speak?”

“Oh, yeah sure.” He said, crossing his arms and standing to give said magician his full attention. “What do you need from all of us?”

“Well, that’s just it.” Zatanna said. With a wave of the hand and a few backwards words, a book appeared in her hands and she started to pour through it. “I need all of you to kiss Bruce.”

“What?” Clark, as well as a few others, sputtered. Sure enough, the dog in his lap started barking too.

“Look, I know.” Zatanna said, throwing the book into the air where it disappeared with a puff of smoke. “But that’s the thing, from what I can understand about the spell, a kiss from the person closest to the affected party is the only cure.”

“And you think that person is one of us?” Barry asked, his face contorted into a frown.

“Why wouldn’t it be? We’re all close to Bruce in some respect--” She eyed Hal and Ollie before making a face. “Some, more than others. And I just figured we’d try everyone. First League members, then we can move onto others potential options.” At everyones less than enthused expressions, Zatanna let out a strained breath. “Look I know its not ideal, but come on guys, it’s not like Bruce can tell us who--”

But Zatanna didn’t get to finish as Bruce sat up on Clark’s lap and turned around, stepping onto Clark's chest and nuzzling his head against Clark’s chin. With wide eyes, Clark took the hint and tilted his head forward and pressed his lips to the top of his head.

There was a bright flash of light, one that had Hal screwing his eyes shut to try and avoid the worst of. Then, when he cracked them back open, there Bruce was, all sullen faced and blushing as Clark wrapped his cape around him, as-- surprise surprise-- the baby clothes didn’t happen to expand with him.

“Well, now.” Hal said, fighting back a smile. “Got something to tell us, Spooky?”

“Don’t make me bite you again, Jordan.”

In the end, Bruce didn’t bite Hal again, but he did kiss Clark a few more times once they were alone, and then a bunch more times after that.

#superbat #clark kent #bruce wayne #ficlet

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" from Marvel Studios' What If...

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Back when Marvel Studios announced the new lineup of films and shows, I was admittingly underwhelmed. Nothing we've seen so far has been poorly written, far from it, but during the announcement, nothing really popped out at me as worth getting excited for. That is, except for one series: Marvel Studios' What If... An animated series that changes the canon of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, all through the simple question. The question being, "What if this happened instead of that."

From the get-go, I was sold on this idea. I'm a sucker for hypothetical scenarios, thinking up all the ways of how some of my favorite stories in fiction could be drastically different thanks to one tiny change. Some might call that "Fanfiction the Series," and while you're not wrong, I fail to see how that's a criticism. Because fanfiction can be fun...just as long as you ignore the sick freaks, sure, but it still can be fun! So whether Marvel Studio's What If... is fanfiction or not, it still didn't change how excited I was to watch it. Was it all worth the hype? Well, to answer that question requires spoilers, so keep that in mind as we dive deep into Marvel's most ambitious project yet.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

The Watcher: Gonna get the generals out of the way before I talk about what I specifically like about this episode. Ok? Ok.

Now, using the Watcher as the narrator for this series is just perfect. What If... already has a similar energy to The Twilight Zone: An anthology series that takes viewers to new and mysterious realities all through the guidance of an omniscient narrator. And using the Watcher as that type of narrator might just be the second-best choice...number one would be Stan Lee, obviously, but...he's dead now. May he rest in peace.

I haven't read that many comics, so there's not much that I know about the Watcher's character aside from a ten-second Google search. But something tells me that a character described as a celestial being that observes and records the events surrounding the galaxy sounds like the exact type of omniscience to guide us through the unknown. All added with Jeffrey Wright's performance, who really does convey a character that sounds like he's as old as time and wise beyond his years. Plus, it's pretty cool that such a seemingly odd character now technically plays a major role in the MCU canon. Comics are weird, and if the Watcher proves anything, it's better to embrace that weirdness than deny it.

The Animation: Looks like someone watched Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse.

That really is the feeling I got when watching this. What If... doesn't look as good as Spiderverse (Nothing can be as good as Spiderverse), but the idea is still there as it combines primarily CGI animation with a few hand-drawn elements. It makes certain scenes just pop and, at times, even makes specific shots look like they're straight from panels in a comic book. Besides, while Spiderverse still looks better, that doesn't mean the animation isn't phenomenal in What If... The scenery looks gorgeous, the CGI models moderately match their live-action counterparts, the expressions are fantastic, and movements are as smooth as butter. There was definitely some money that went into this series to make it look as good as it did, and my eyeballs were more than grateful because of it. Especially when it comes to--

The Action: Holy s**t, was it a good thing that this series was animated!

The MCU has had its fair share of great fight scenes in the past, but it always felt restricted to what the big superhero fights could be due to everything needing to look "realistic." That all changes in What If... Because now that this series is animated, we can finally chuck realism out the window and allow these characters to be as epic as they were in the comics. The movements are swift, the blows look like they hurt, and best of all, you actually get to see characters fighting each other! There are no random cuts to hide the stunt doubles or weird camera angles to avoid audiences seeing how ugly the CGIed replacements are. We get to see all of the action with zero restraint, thanks to the fact that animation is limitless and allows writers to get away with literally anything. And shows like this make me wonder, "Why the hell isn't the MCU animated?"

Peggy as Captain Carter: It's here that we get into the specifics, and by golly, do I love me some Peggy Carter making a return. And what a return she made!

Seeing Peggy kick Nazi ass as Captain Carter is as awesome as it sounds as she gives a new definition of a "Strong, independent woman." She took s**t from no one and was more than willing to destroy anybody who said differently. It's a ton of fun for fans (the ones who aren't sexist, at least) and even fun for Peggy as well now that she gets a chance to wreck shop. However, that in itself could cause problems. If you watched Agent Carter (a great show, by the way), then you'll know that Peggy doesn't act as...somewhat meatheaded as she does here. As she said it herself, she's "usually more covert than this." And she is, as she was pretty much the first superspy in the MCU, who's impressive through how she effortlessly infiltrates her way to winning the day with diminutive requirements for fighting. So stripping that away gets rid of a core part of what makes her character so interesting. Although, in fairness, you could blame the fact that the reason she's acting like this is that the super-soldier serum is messing with her brain a bit. We've seen through U.S. Agent the reciprocations of the wrong person taking the serum, and while Peggy is far from the worst pick, there are hints of why Steve Rodgers was the best choice. Still, even though it's not the same Peggy Carter, that doesn't mean Captain Carter is a poor addition to the hero roster in the MCU. She's cool in all the right ways, even though they're drastically different from what made her compelling, to begin with.

Howard Stark: Another character I'm more than happy to see again!

Howard didn't leave that much of a grand of an impression in Captain America: The First Avenger, but in Agent Carter (Seriously, great show), he was a blast. You can just tell he was Tony Stark's father through all the ways he fast-talks in and out of problems and brilliantly comes up with solutions thanks to being tech-savvy. The main difference between Howard and Tony, however, is that Howard prefers to stay on the sidelines, where Tony learned to be more proactive. You get a sense of that in this episode. Because even though he goes to save the day, you can tell that he would rather be anywhere else. And, as a bonus, Howard's just funny. Probably not up there as one of the funniest characters in the franchise (Paul Rudd's Ant-Man reigns supreme), but he still cracks me up more times than not. Howard may be nothing more than a side character, but he'll always win me over no matter how small of a role he has.

Steve Rodgers in the Hydra Stomper: Don't mind me. Just admiring the fact that despite being crippled and skinny, Steve Rodgers still finds a way to fight the good fight, which is who Steve is to me. One of the best things about The First Avenger is that it fully understands the hero that is Captain America. Serum or not, he will do all he can to do the right thing and won't give up despite how many times others tell him he should. So if Steve's going to fly around in a suped-up Iron Man suit that's appropriately named "The Hydra Stomper," then Steve'll f**king soar. Because he is a gosh dang superhero, no matter what name he takes at the end of the day.

Fast-Forwarding Through Events: Some fans might take issues with this. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see all the little changes that Captain Carter makes to the story, but realistically that's not the best choice to make. Let's be honest, there's not that much to show other than what this episode did, and doing a full-on rewrite of Captain America: The First Avenger would have rubbed some fans the wrong way. Besides, from what I can tell, most of the What If... comics are one-shots that very rarely branch out into longer arcs. The primary goal is less to write this large-scale story and more of this self-contained narrative that does what it precisely delivers: Show fans a glimpse of what would happen if this happened instead of that. That's what we were given, and I can't really complain that much. I would have loved to have seen more, but I can learn to be happy with what I got.

Colonel Flynn Taking Credit: This guy is sexist and an idiot, and that's why I hate him...but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't at least chuckle when he said everything was his idea. It's such a scumbag move that I couldn't help but find the humor in it.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING !)nd Steve falling in love inThe First Avenger, which certainly wasn't helped by how they had these dumbass misunderstandings of each thinking the other was dating someone else. Here, they at least get to interact, confiding in one another about their insecurities and offer support when needed. And while it may be a little rushed, I'm more willing to believe their romance in under thirty minutes than I did in over two hours. It could have been better, but it also could have been much, much worse.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING AT THE TIME!)

“I won’t tell you anything.”/”He told me everything.”: That's the Peggy Carter I know and love! Added with a solid joke, too.

Steve’s Pratfall: It's nice to know that no matter what universe we see, Marvel is still funny.

Peggy’s Sacrifice: Much like Peggy and Steve's romance, I buy Peggy's sacrifice way more than Steve's. Several fans already pointed out how it makes no sense for Steve to crash the plane into the icy waters when it seemed like he had enough control to land it or could have easily jumped out after aiming for the crash landing. Here, there's a more legitimate reason why Peggy sacrifices herself. The monster was undefeatable, and the only way to stop it was to push it back through the portal. Peggy, being the only one strong enough to do so at the moment, was the only option, and there was no way where she didn't end up going through with the monster. Even her return makes more sense, as I think her being lost to time and space sounds more believable than Steve surviving being frozen in ice. Something no mortal man should live through. Peggy's sacrifice proves that while the MCU can't change its cannon past, the writers learn from their mistakes and make something better.

WHAT I DISLIKED

The Reasoning Behind Peggy Becoming Captain Carter: So, the idea that one small change can greatly alter the story we knew is a great one, and it's one of the main reasons why I was excited about this series...but how does Peggy staying in the room cause the Hydra agent to detonate the bomb early? I understand the ripples that come from the Butterfly Effect, but I feel like that's too big of a leap to reason how Peggy ends up taking the serum instead.

Colonel Flynn: How is it possible that this guy is somehow even more of a pain in the ass than the general he replaced? At least Chester Phillips had the decency to respect Agent Carter!

Red Skull is Still on the Dull Side: Red Skull isn't an awful villain, but he wasn't really a great one. It's the same here, as he's just as forgettable and wooden an episode of television as he was in a full-length movie. But at least he had a cooler death this time.

Sebastian Stan is Not a Great Voice Actor: He's not awful, but his talent really doesn't shine in this regard. Some people think that being an actor and a voice actor is the same thing, but it's not always the case. Through live-action, actors are given a chance to express emotion through their expressions, movement, and voice. With voice acting, actors still have to convey emotions, but strictly through their voice. Meaning that actors like Sebastian Stan are limited to what they're used to and can stumble a bit when trying to perform in a field of acting they're unfamiliar with. You can tell he was trying his best, but this type of thing can take far more practice for others to perfect.

“Whew. Thanks. You almost ripped my arm off.”: ...hhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHA! HA HA! Ah...oh man...I, uh...I felt the internal bleeding with that one. Wow. Just...wow.

Bucky Leaving After Steve “Died”: Ok, now that's the biggest bout of bulls**t I've ever heard. BUCKY WOULD BE WITH STEVE 'TILL THE END OF THE LINE AND WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT QUICKLY!

...This episode did Bucky dirty, didn't it?

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" is an A-. It's still a solid start of what I can already tell will be a great series, but some elements could have used some polishing out. I loved it, but it wasn't as bloody brilliant as it could have been.

(And I meant it: WATCH AGENT CARTER! It's pleasantly surprising!)

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu reviews #marvel studios what if #peggy carter #captain carter #steve rodgers #hydra stomper #howard stark #bucky barnes #what i thought about #what if reviews

[walkwithheroes84]

The Boys: Season 2 Thoughts

I had to wait eight weeks (though I’ve been checking out the tags and reposting gif sets), but I was finally able to sit down and binge season two of The Boys. I have to be honest: I’m not sure I loved - or even liked - the directions they went with certain characters/stories. However, it was a solid season and it felt like the closing on an arc in a comic. It felt complete enough that we could end there - at least for a year or so - and still have plenty to come back to in 2022/2023.

Spoilers for Season Two Follow!

The Seven:

-I have to start with Stormfront. I have never read the comics, but I have read the Wikipedia, so I went in knowing that - despite the changes - Stormfront is a Nazi in the comics. And, she was a Nazi in the show. She (smartly) changed with the times - building social media followers, playing on the weakness of others, using an ‘us vs. them’ story for almost everything. She was savvy. I’m 100% sure she was using Homelander and that her plan was to use Ryan and all her lab!Supes to form a new Nazi party. When Maeve (a bi woman), Kimiko (a WOC), and Annie (a woman whose assault she mocked) ganged up to beat the shit out of her? Poetic Justice. Only made better by the fact that it was Ryan, her “White Savior” who basically destroyed her. (I don’t want to say kill, because I think she could be alive.) The only thing that would have made it better is if someone in that group was Jewish. (Side note: The fact that Aya Cash is Jewish, but played such a convincing Nazi - that speaks to her talent.)

-We can’t talk about Stormfront without bringing in Homelander. We know he craves love above all else. He wants to be worshipped. He feels he deserves it. In many ways he is a spoiled child. Stormfront played him like a fiddle, in my opinion. Do I think he cared for Ryan? Uh, only because Ryan is his son and appears to have his powers - Ryan is someone he could have molded to be a Homelander 2.0. But, I don’t think Homelander is capable of real - selfless - love. I just don’t. 

- I can be totally honest. . . as much as I love Antony Starr and Aya Cash - there was just way too much Homelander and Stormfront this season. I understand why their stories took up so much screen time, but I didn’t care for their characters and I actually am starting to find Homelander a little one note. He wants to be loved and will do anything to be loved. He also feels that he can do anything he wants. Again, he’s a child. I feel they will need to do something fresh with him in season three or give him less screen time to keep him from getting stale.  

-Let me briefly touch on  the Church of the Collective. I suppose, in the end, it was a season-long set up to explain how the Boys got the Nazi information on Stormfront. Though, woman is keeping her memorable and photos in her room...so, it didn’t really seem like she was trying super hard to hide her past. I thought they might be being set up to be some kind of major player in season three - they do have dirt on Supes and they work with Vought International  and the government - but,  Alastair Adana is dead and the Deep is there. . .so, unless the plan is for the Deep to take over the church...? 

-Speaking of The Deep, in my overview/review of last season, I mentioned that the show could either try to redeem him or have him go fully dark. And, the show surprised me by having him go in-between. Like, he still knows he’s a screwup and he still wants back in The Seven. He’ll do anything to get back in. However, I don’t seem him redeemed in any major way nor do I think he’s intelligent enough to be considered a dark character. Guy is just a mess. I have to be honest - I do wonder if the writers know what to do with the character. 

-A-Train may have only helped Annie and Hughie for selfish reasons, but he still helped. . . so, okay. I’ll give it a bit of a pass. As he said: Hugh saved him in season 1 and he gave them information in season 2 - they are even and it goes back to square one. They aren’t enemies, but they aren’t friends. I liked A-Train more during this season, but he really wasn’t given too much to do. 

- Maeve got more screen time! Her relationship with Elena was explored! She, as a person, was explored!  I understand that she isn’t going to suddenly become a true hero. She’s become too jaded for that. However, she will still try and do the right thing and I love that about her. 

-I really grew to love Annie this season. That is all. I still am not a huge shipper of Annie/Hugh, but they are very sweet together. 

- Lamplighter should not have been killed off so soon. I would have liked to his his guilt and his character explored more. 

-This truly was the season of The Seven with Homelander, Stormfront, Maeve, and Annie being moved to the front of the storylines. I liked it, but I REALLY missed....

The Boys:

-I’m sorry, but  Marvin T. "Mother's" Milk (MM) is a wonderful human being. He still needs more screen time and a bit more development, but I love that they used him a bit more this season. When he went home to his daughter? Please let him be with his family until the end of 3.01/middle of 3.02. Just let the man watch his shows and make his dollhouses and be happy. 

- Hugh came into his own this season, and that was wonderful. I am interested to see where his working for his working for Victoria Neuman will go. Especially as he is trying to take down Vought in a legal way, but his new boss is secretly exploding heads.

-Kimiko! My heart ached for her so much this season. She found her brother and found that he had become so brainwashed and full of hate and than she lost him. She pushed Frenchie away and became an assassin for the mob. Her truest friend, Frenchie, pulled away from her. But, in the end she helped take down Stormfront and she and Frenchie literally danced off together. Kimiko didn’t get that much screen time after 2.03, but what she did get -  Karen Fukuhara used. 

-Frenchie also got some great development this season. I’m still going to call him Frenchie, even if his name is  Serge. It was great that he realized that a part of the reason he focused in on protecting Kimiko was because he has failed to protect others. When he told her he would leave her alone? Aw, no - just back off a bit. And he did, and she taught him her language! 

-Frenchie x Kimiko are my couple on this show and they need to dive into that “It’s not sexual and it’s not quite romantic, but it’s way more than friendship/family” thing they have going on. 

-Let’s talk Butcher. He’s selfish. He is. He was willing to give up Ryan to get Becca back. But, he’s not heartless. He couldn’t separate his wife from her son. And, while I think he might have killed Ryan if Homelander hadn’t shown up - he gave Ryan to people who will try and keep him safe and shape him into a good person. Do I think he’ll go dark because of Becca’s death? Probably. If they follow the comics (which they aren’t anymore, but they may want to follow overall character stories), he’ll have to go dark.  I’m sad they killed Becca - she could have just gone with Ryan. But, it will be interesting to see if Butcher takes up the offer to work secretly for the government. 

Season Three Predictions/Hopes:

- I think the show will fast forward a bit. We’ll see The Seven as heroes in public, but all facing their own issues in private. We may see other Supe teams. 

- I think The Boys will be separated for a bit: Hughie working for Neuman, MM with his family, Frenchie and Kimiko off on their own, Butcher doing his own thing. And something will happen that will cause them all to come back together. 

#the boys #the boys amazon #the boys tv #the seven #homelander #stormfront #a-train #starlight #annie january #queen maeve #maggie shaw #reggie franklin #victoria neuman #billy butcher #Frenchie #kimiko miyashiro #hugh campbell #mother's milk #Karl urban #jack quaid #antony starr #aya cash #erin moriarty #chance crawford #laz alonso #jessie usher #dominique mcelligott #tomar kapon #Karen Fukuhara #annie x hughie

[douxreviews]

Shazam! (2019) Review

"You more of a Supes guy? Yeah, me too."

By nature I love brevity: Easily the best film I've seen so far this year, and far better than the vast majority of the DCEU. A very funny film that surprises at many turns, entertains the whole time, and has something meaningful to say.

SPOILER WARNING: I'll keep it spoiler-free for the first part, then I'll get down to the details for the rest.

The part every Shazam! review is apparently required to have: Yes, this is a DC movie. No, your friend who keeps calling it Captain Marvel by mistake is not just out-of-touch with the culture; this character used to be called Captain Marvel back before Marvel played some dirty tricks and stole the name, and it makes no sense for him to be called Shazam. Yes, there also used to be another Marvel character other than the one from the movie who was called Captain Marvel. Yes, it's confusing as heck to the average moviegoer. Google is your friend.

Apparently IMDB isn't, though, so don't look up the movie before you see it. Way too much spoilery information on that page. You were warned.

Spoiler-Free:

This movie is a refreshing approach to the superhero film. Its comedic roots give it the distance and the self-awareness to mock the genre's most tired and useless trappings, but its definitive place within the genre itself also allows it to take what works and then use that for its own purposes. The film leans heavily on its humor, which is great and works, but it simultaneously works just as well as a superhero movie and an action movie.

The cast is wonderful. Zachary Levi carries the film as Captain Marvel Shazam himself, and you can see so clearly the fun he's having at the same time as he delivers a good performance. The emotional parts of Billy Batson's story, though, are given to Asher Angel. Angel is quite strong, and definitely pulled it off, though in a few places he struggled slightly. Still, for such a young actor, he has talent. Mark Strong's villainous performance is good, too, providing what I would venture to say is the best villain of the DCEU so far. But the true stealers of the movie are Billy's foster family, particularly Jack Dylan Grazer, Grace Fulton, and Faithe Herman. Their characters ground the movie emotionally and thematically, and the reliance on them is deserved. They are also a large part of what kept the third act from slipping into the traditional superhero movie pitfalls.

One last thing I will say about Shazam! is the strength of its story and construction. Everywhere I expected it to zig, it zagged. Everywhere it could have given way to cliche and mindless slugfests, it didn't. The third act is one of the strongest I've seen from a superhero film in a long while, and I sat in the theater overjoyed at many of the fascinating and fun creative choices the film made. There were few places where they could have done something interesting and didn't, but without seeing what it would have become had they capitalized on that, I can't tell if it was a missed opportunity or a good avoidance of narrative clutter.

Final spoiler-free word on Shazam! is that you should absolutely go and see it. It is wildly entertaining and amusing, meaningful in a deep way, and a great time from beginning to end. Go enjoy the heck out of this one. Now, since in-depth analysis is the way I review things, I'll move on to discuss spoilers.

It's not an 'S.' It means 'Spoilers ahead.'

Many will call this film a sign of DC's return to the brighter side of things. But, though it is a less gloomy film than a Man of Steel or a Batman v. Superman, I would argue that Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Joss Whedon's parts of Justice League were the benchmarks of DC's return from the shadow of death. What this marks, more than anything else, is the best look at the joy and wonder of being a superhero since Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

Shazam! also provides us with the best example of a focused standalone superhero movie since that movie. So many films nowadays put their connections to other planned, produced, or released projects first, and their stories and characters second. Shazam! does not do this, just as Spider-Verse did not do it. This is not to say that either film leaves no potential for sequels and spinoffs. This film is full of easter eggs and references that could very easily play into any related projects, and indeed they probably will in the announced Shazam 2 and Black Adam. But the goal of the filmmakers in this movie was clearly to tell a good story, and to let the connections and references come later. This is why they pulled out all the stops in this one rather than save things for the sequel unnecessarily.

This, of course, resulted in the ENTIRE MARVEL FAMILY! I cannot tell you how excited I was in the theater to see that. As they led up to it, I said to myself, 'There's no way. They wouldn't.' And then they did. A film that was focused on keeping the audience excited for the sequels would have teased Freddie Marvel and Mary Marvel and never given it to us, but it was necessary for the story this film wanted to tell, and so they did it.

See, that's the thing that I find most interesting about the character of Captain Marvel Shazam. The fact that he's a kid is an intriguing idea, and it's enough to carry the first half to two thirds of the movie. But once you get past that, Captain Marvel Shazam is just a Superman rehash... that is, until you bring in the Marvel Family. As soon as he's a superhero who's part of a family of superheroes, suddenly everything becomes interesting again. That's something we don't often see, and that's what makes Captain Marvel Shazam interesting to watch.

The casting of the Marvel Family is spot on, especially given the kids they started with. All of them seem to share completely in Zachary Levi's joy, and for the most part they are able to maintain the characters of the children in their performances. Especial props to Adam Brody and Meagan Good.

There were, however, several parts of the film that I felt were not used to their full potential. The first of these was the portrayal of the Seven Deadly Sins. Granted, Greed was put to good use in the boardroom, and Envy in the final battle, but it's telling that a film featuring the embodiments of the Sins that also has several scenes set outside a strip club cannot find the time to say anything about Lust. The other thing is that, while I'm certain I could figure out which Sin was which if shown clear, still photographs of them, I had a very difficult time telling most of them apart for the majority of the movie.

The second thing that Shazam! failed to deliver on was the resolution of Mary's character arc. The relatively few scenes we got in which she pondered her future and the possibility of leaving her family in order to secure it made me extremely sympathetic to her and her situation, but the movie never returned to her story to give us a decision or a conclusion. I didn't notice until I was reflecting on it later, but I found myself wondering what happened to her and whether or not she decided to go to CalTech.

One last thing I want to say is that I have a hard time imagining a sequel that is successfully able to balance all of its inherited elements, introduce and develop its new ones effectively, and still be a good story. The thing about having all of those kids be a part of the Marvel family is that having that many superheroes with that much power, and the same powers, for that matter, would be difficult to juggle. Not to mention that the villain couldn't just be one guy, like Black Adam, without the cliched army of faceless soldiers. That's why I'm glad they're keeping Black Adam separate in his own film. Go ahead and let that be terrible on its own. Perhaps they will surprise me, and turn out something that is fun and meaningful in its own right. It is the same creative team, after all.

Pensees:

-The phrase 'Holy moly' is a classic line that Captain Marvel Shazam loves to use.

-Little Billy wanted the tiger from the balloon pop game, and in the end, he gave it to a kid to calm her down. In the comics, Billy has a friend that is a sentient tiger animated from a stuffed toy.

-The talking caterpillar that shows up at the beginning and at the end is called Mr. Mind, and he's a classic Captain Marvel Shazam villain. So are the Crocodile-Men seen playing cards through the door in the Rock of Eternity. Why yes, those comics do seem to feature a lot of talking animals. It's a thing. Both the Crocs and Mr. Mind were voiced by director David Sandberg.

-Djimon Hounsou has had a busy time lately with comic book movies. He was in Aquaman last December, then Captain Marvel in March, and now Shazam!

-John Glover has now played the dads of two bald DC villains. First it was Lex Luthor in Smallville, and now it's Sivana here.

-Effective use of the magic 8-ball. I'm impressed.

-The scene with Superman is probably funnier because Henry Cavill wasn't available to film it.

-Loved the gag where Sivana yelled villain dialogue from way too far away and was completely inaudible.

-I enjoyed all of Freddie's t-shirts, and the dig at Aquaman in the end was glorious.

5 out of 6 pleasant surprises.

CoramDeo is more of a Supes guy.

#Shazam #Captain Marvel #Billy Batson #Zachary Levi #DCEU #DC Comics #Doux Reviews #Movie Reviews

[behealthy99]

Coronavirus is Under Control, There is No Need to be Scared, Says Yogi Adityanath

New Post has been published on https://behealthy99.com/coronavirus-is-under-control-there-is-no-need-to-be-scared-says-yogi-adityanath/

Coronavirus is Under Control, There is No Need to be Scared, Says Yogi Adityanath

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Omicron LIVE Updates: India reported 2,35,532 new COVID-19 cases, 871 deaths and 3,35,939 recoveries in the last 24 hours. The country’s weekly positivity rate stood at 16.89% with an active caseload of 200,04,333.

Meanwhile, during an election rally in Uttar Pradesh’s Baghpat, Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath said, “Coronavirus is under control and there is no need to be scared of it at this point.”

Maharashtra reported the highest number of deaths since September 1 as the fatalities rose to 103 with a jump of over 145% in a day. However, Covid-19 cases dropped to 24,948 from 25,425 in 24 hours.

With 40 deaths, while Pune circle reported the highest number of fatalities, Mumbai reported 30. The toll has remained in two digits since January 16 in Mumbai. “The deaths in Mumbai are likely to remain in two digits for another two weeks or so. These are critical patients and, as per Covid trends seen during the last two waves, daily mortality could be between 10% and 20% in ICUs,” said Dr Avinash Supe, a member of the state task force monitoring Covid deaths, told The Times of India.

The government of Haryana has given a go-ahead to cinemas and multiplexes to open with 50% seating capacity. Educational institutes such as universities, colleges, schools for classes 10-12, coaching/training institutes are allowed to open with effect from February 1 in the state.

Meanwhile, Delhi Metro services on weekends will be resumed as per regular timetable from Saturday in view of the ease in restrictions due to improvement in Covid situation in the city, officials said. Weekend curfew was imposed in Delhi from January 8 onwards, following which services had been curtailed.

Schools will open for class 1012 from February 1 in Rajasthan and for classes 69 from February 10, the government said on Friday in its new COVID guidelines. Students will continue to have the option of online education, it said. Markets, other business establishments in the state, will now be able to stay open till 10 pm, while Sunday’s public discipline curfew has been abolished.

Night curfew imposed in 27 cities in Gujarat to curb the coronavirus pandemic has been extended till February 4, an official said on Friday. The decision to extend the date of the night curfew was taken by Chief Minister Bhupendra Patel during a core committee meeting in Gandhinagar, a release said, adding that though number of new coronavirus cases were declining in Gujarat, 12,131 persons were found infected during the last 24 hours. After a sudden surge in cases, the state government had, on January 21, announced night curfew in 19 cities apart from eight major ones where it was imposed much earlier.

Read all the Latest News, Breaking News and Coronavirus News here.

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Every Superman Movie Ranked From Worst To Best https://youtu.be/4uySYIw3Ofc Here is every Superman movie positioned from worst to perfect. Created by Jerry Siegel as well as additionally Joe Shuster, the Man of Steel came increasing (or leaping) right into comics in 1938, debuting in Action Comics #1. Superman motion pictures have in fact certainly had their increasing highs as well as additionally squashing lows, neverthelessfilmmakerswill likely never ever before give up on finding new approaches of changing the Last Son of Kryptonas well as additionally viewers would definitely miss him if they did. Like different other popular characters - James Bond, Batman, Sherlock Holmes - various celebrities have cycled with the task, nevertheless which Superman made the greatest motion pictures? Superman made his flick introducing in the Kirk Alyn serials, beginning in 1948. The Man of Steel has in fact considered that occurred to appear invarious motion pictures, both computer system computer animated as well as additionally live-action, as well as several beloved television shows. The focus here will be on the hero's live-action theatrical releases. Neither the MCU’s box office domination nor a couple of difficult DC movie outings can dethrone Superman as the most iconic superhero ever created. Even with this in mind, his cinematic adaptations have represented both the best and additionally the worst the genre has to offer - though the same can be said ofBatman’s movies as well. This low ranking is to say nothing negative of George Reeves’ unforgettable portrayal of the Man of Steel for six seasons in Adventures of Superman. However, Superman as well as the Mole Men, released in 1951, was basically a glorified TV pilot, only included here because it did have a theatrical release. Rather than battling the titular Mole Men, Supes defends them from pitchfork-wielding townsfolk, whose fear of the innocent creatures had quickly turned violent. Although Reeves did a fine job, the black and white film isn’t quite sixty minutes long and simply can't compare with Superman’s other movies. It did serve its purpose though, eventually bringing Reeves’ hero to TV screens everywhere. What is there to say about 2017’s Justice League that hasn’t already been said? Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon are both distinctive filmmakers with little common ground.The awkwardly stitched together, tonally incoherent mess of a movie is the result of two conflicting visions that never should’ve been a part of the same film. It’s not, strictly speaking, even a Superman movie, but the Man of Steel was meant to play a pivotal role in it. Sadly,Supes will always be remembered, above all else, for the terrible CGI removal of Cavill's mustache. The movie was meant to be a major superhero team up for DC, but Justice League never really came together. Perhaps the Snyder Cut, coming to HBO Max, will redeem the character. At the very least, it’ll redeem his face. With Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, the most iconic portrayal of Superman ended, not with a bang, but definitely a whimper. It’s heartbreaking to put Christopher Reeve’s final outing in the red cape so low on the list, especially since it was a story that meant so much to the actor. Reeve had hoped to put the Man of Steel back on track after Superman III, a good thought to be sure, but Superman IV: The Quest for Peacestandsas the worst of the original four. Getting rid of the world's nukes was a noble effort, as was making a film that so obviously promoted world peace.Sadly,the 1987 movie suffered massive budget cuts, had a weak villain in the Nuclear Man and was ultimately even more over-the-top than Superman III, which was an impressive feat. While fans were undeniably excited to see the Dark Knight face off against the Man of Steel, Batmanv Superman: Dawn of Justicewas an utterly joyless film in which both heroes are absolutely impossible to like, let alone root for. Released in 2016, Zack Snyder's second DCEU film certainly has its defenders, but the movie didn’t do either character justice. This should not reflect poorly on Cavill or Ben Affleck, who both did the best they could with the material they were given. It does come in ahead ofJustice League, but only because it feels like the singular vision of its director, for good or bad. Like the team-up film, this isn't truly a Superman movie, though it acts as a direct sequel to Man of Steel.Though the movie introduced the world to Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, the bloated runtime (151 minutes), Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor, and the now-infamous "Martha" moment makeBatman v Supermanan overall disappointment. The original plan for Superman IIImight've panned out differently, but the film released in 1983 feels like the result of someone pitching a Superman/Richard Pryor movie but not actually hammering out any of the story details beforehand. Though the movie might be ridiculous, Reeve was still at the top of his game and Pryor is undeniably funny, even if the script is not. Trading in Margot Kidder’s cherished Lois Lane for a subplot in which Clark attempts to woo his high school crush, Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole), was a strange narrative choice in movie absolutely full of them. Directed by Richard Lester, who stepped in to fill Richard Donner’s shoes after he left Superman II, the movie does feature a cool Superman vs.Clark Kentfight, in addition to providingthe basis for the programmers' plotinOffice Space. Exploring the lonelier, more alien side of Superman isn’t a bad idea on a paper. The Last Son of Krypton has often struggled with feelings of isolation, a topic that was thoroughly exploredonSmallville,but a dark, brooding Supermanisn't thebeacon of hope for mankind that many fans expect to see. However, it’s not that easy to be a god among men and Man of Steel shouldn’t be faulted for trying to show a different side of the hero to audiences. Plus, the 2013 film introduced Henry Cavill, who is excellent in the role, and the rest of the cast, including Amy Adams as Lois Lane and Diane Lane as Martha Kent, is great as well. Sadly, Man of Steel failed somewhat in its execution, not only misunderstanding Superman himself, but the Kents as well. The idea that Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) wouldwant Clark to keep his secret at the cost of innocent lives, including his own, completely alters both characters. That, in conjunction with a hero who left a trail of destruction - and a dead body - in his wake, made for a film that left fansfirmly divided. Cavill’s first time stepping into the red bootsdid have some interesting ideas, even if director Zack Snyder's muted color palette could make the film feel like a rather dull affair at times. All that said, it'sa better movie than many of Superman's previous outings. If Superman Returns is guilty of anything, it’s loving the Richard Donner films a little too much. It’s understandable, considering even after all these years, Superman remains a crowning achievement in superhero films. The 2006 movie ignored Superman III and IV, instead continuing on from Superman II. Overall, Bryan Singer's filmwas a pretty solid outing for the Man of Steel. Long before his time as Ray Palmer in the Arrowverse, Brandon Routh proved he had what it took to play an iconic hero. His performance was both understated and confident, paying homage Reeve, but still making the character his own. At its best, Superman Returns captured the essence of the first two films, though the movie sometimes lost itself in all that nostalgia. Inspending so much time honoringDonner’s legacy, it had a difficult time standing on its own.It's also an incredibly vivid movie, in direct contrast with the muted colors of Snyder’s take on the character. The film’s detractors tend to get hung up on the plausibility of Superman having a son, but in a film about a superpowered alien, how much realism does the audience really need? The movie's Lex Luthor anddirector can’t help but slightlymar themovie in light of the allegations against both Kevin Spacey and Singer, but Superman Returns is still the Man of Steel’s most underrated film. Despite its notoriously troubled production, Superman II holds up not only as one of the best movies featuring the Man of Steel, but also as one of the best superhero outings in general. Much like Justice League, the film was the result of two conflicting visions, butSuperman IIstill holds up. The Donner Cut is great too, but the movie’s theatrical release deserves the second slot right right here. The original intent was to shoot Superman and its sequel side by side, but thanks to Lester replacing Donner as director, much of the film was reshot later. This led to a film that may have actually been a bit uneven at times, but still trounces most of the competition. Superman II is an incredibly ambitious film. It upped the stakes and the action and delivered some unforgettable villains.No Superman flick had aBig Bad who posed as much of a threatto the Last Son of Krypton as Terence Stamp’s General Zod and his cronies.Superman II not only built on thecompelling love story between Lois and Clark, but also explored the hero’s human side. Christopher Reeve was already perfect in the role to begin with, but stripping the Man of Steel of his powers gave the actor something different and more relatable to play. Superman II is not only a nonstop thrill ride, but it’s also quite touching. 1978’s Superman introduced the world to Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel, and he remains the actor most closely associated with the role, despite all the time that passed and the many other actors to take up the mantle since. It also brought fans the palpable chemistry between Reeve’s Superman and Margot Kidder’s intrepid reporter, Lois Lane. Superman not onlyfeatured John Williams' amazing score, but also set the gold standard for superhero movies to come. The movie takes its time, giving the Man of Steel’s origin story plenty of room to breathe. Reeve remains the very best in terms of portraying Superman and also Clark Kent as two very different characters, making it slightly more believable that a pair of glasses is enough to keep his identities separate. His comedic timing is impeccable, but much of the movie’s magic comes from the way he inhabits the role of Superman. The movie also gave us the first dose of Gene Hackman’s rather brilliant turn as Lex Luther, memorable, even if he never ever before really felt such as an actual threat to our hero. https://videofeed.tv/movies-upcoming-releases-trailers/the-fifth-element-honest-trailer-its-the-weirdest-90s-sci-fi-movie/

[sa-waai]

Interesting read.

Here's Why African History is being suppressed and ignored by white scholars. RACISM, HISTORY AND LIES

Max Dashu

Some doctrines of racial supremacy as classically taught in Euro/American institutions, textbooks and media:

PHYSICAL CALIBRATION DOCTRINE: In which white anthropologists treat people as racial specimens, measuring "cephalic indices" and attempting to prove superiority of the "white" brain. Ugly racist terminology: "prognathism," "platyrhiny," "steatopygous," "sub-Egyptian." Mug-shot lineups of "the Veddan female," "Arapaho male, "Negroid type," "Mongoloid specimen" characterize this approach. Out of favor in the mid-20th-century, it has enjoyed a revisionist comeback with sociobiology and works claiming racial differentials in intelligence, such as "The Bell Curve."

TECHNOLOGICAL CALIBRATION DOCTRINE: Insists on forcing archaeological finds as well as living cultures into a grid of "development" based on whether tools, materials and techniques valued by "Western" scholars were in use. Example: "They were a stone age civilization who never discovered the wheel!" This model forces cultures into a progressional paradigm: Old and New Stone Ages, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Industrial Revolution, Space Age. This classification ignores the complexity of culture, and the fact that metallurgic technology and military might are not the ultimate measure of advanced culture.

STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT DOCTRINE: The assumption that "primitive" cultures represent lower "stages" in historical evolution, and have yet to attain advanced forms of culture. One English scholar referred to "the child-races of Africa." Usually, social hierarchy, militarization and industrialization are taken as prime measures of "advanced" civilization. In the 19th century, scholars openly used the terms "savage," "barbarian," "civilized." Though these offensive words have (mostly) been dropped, the underlying assumptions are still quite influential. (For a good discussion of how the insistence on talking about "tribes" distorts African history, see http://www.africaaction.org/bp/ethall.htm. )

SPREAD OF CIVILIZATION DOCTRINE: Credits all achievements to conquering empires, assuming their superiority in science, technology, and government. Adherents are usually incapable of perceiving advanced earth-friendly systems of land management, agronomy, medicine, collective social welfare networks, healing, astronomical knowledge, or profound philosophical traditions among peoples considered "primitive" by dominant "Western" standards.

PASSING OF THE TORCH DOCTRINE: Claims a chain of cultural transmission from Mesopotamia and Egypt to Greece to Rome to western Europe to the USA, leaving vast gaps where the history of the rest of the world should be. (And the discussion never returns to Egypt or Iraq to consider what happened there after the fall of their ancient empires.) Most of the planet's cultures are discussed only in relation to the European conquest, if mentioned at all. As a result, few people have any idea of the history of Sumatra, Honduras, Niger, Ecuador, Mozambique, Ohio, Hokkaido, Samoa, or even European countries such as Lithuania or Bosnia.

IF IT WAS GREAT, IT MUST HAVE BEEN WHITE: If advanced science, art, or architecture is found in Africa or South America, then Phoenecians, Greeks, Celts, Vikings (or, in the extreme case, space aliens) must be invoked to explain their presence. (Here, whiteness often functions as a relative concept, as "lighter than.") This bias gives rise to a pronounced tendency to date American or African cultures later than warranted, and as a result dating for these regions is constantly having to be revised further back into the past as evidence of greater antiquity piles up.

Corollary: IF IT WAS WHITE, IT MUST HAVE BEEN GREAT. Thus, the conqueror Charlemagne was a great man, in spite of his genocidal campaign against the Saxons, but the Asian conquerors Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan were simply evil. Stereotypes of head-hunters picture Africans (in the absence of any evidence for such a practice there) but never Celtic head-hunters in France and Britain -- much less Lord Kitchener making off with the Mahdi's skull in Sudan, or U.S. settlers taking scalps and body parts of Indian people. This doctrine also underlies the common assumption that European conquest must have improved life for subject peoples.

A 19th century French engraving imagines the conquest of Algeria as a showering of the benefits of superior civilization on abject, genuflecting North Africans.

IF IT WAS NOT WHITE, AND ITS GREATNESS IS UNDENIABLE, THEN IT MUST BE DEPRECATED IN SOME WAY: Example:The Epic of Man, published in the '60s by Time/Life Books, says of the advanced civilization of ancient Pakistan: "It is known that a static and sterile quality pervaded Indus society." It used to be the academic fashion to call ancient Egypt a "moribund" civilization which "stifled creativity." Similar writings dismissed the "Incas" (Quechua) as "totalitarian," or the Chinese as "isolated" and "resistant to change," ignoring their interchange with steppe societies as well as Southeast Asian cultures.

The AFRICAN GAP DOCTRINE: After examining the first humans hundreds of thousands of years ago, this historical approach completely skips over most of the African archaeological record. It discusses ancient Egypt but ascribes its civilization to "the Middle East," denying its African identity and archaeological connections with Saharan and southern Nilotic civilizations. Saharan civilization, Ile-Ife or Mwanamutapa are not discussed at all. Africa is simply dropped from historical consideration until the era of European slaving and colonization, when it is portrayed as culturally and technologically deficient. The existence of female spheres of power in Africa is ignored.

The BERING STRAIT DOCTRINE insists that all indigenous American peoples came across a land bridge between Siberia and Alaska, filtering down through Central America into South America. Problem: numerous archaeological sites in the Americas predate any possible Bering Strait migration by many thousands of years. Access from Alaska to the rest of North America was blocked for millennia by two great ice sheets that covered Canada. An narrow opening that might have allowed passage appeared much too late (about 13,500 years ago) to explain the growing evidence that people were living in both North and South America much earlier than these "first" migrations.

By 1997-98, the tide of opinion began to turn: several scientific conclaves declared that a majority of attending scholars rejected the Bering Strait theory as a full explanation of how the Americas were peopled.The long-doctrinal hypothesis of Clovis hunters as the first immigrants is crumbling before the new dating, as hundreds of pre-Clovis sites pile up: Cactus Hill, Virginia (13,500 BP); Meadowcroft Rock Shelter in Pennsylvania (14,000 - 17,000 Before Present); Monte Verde (13,500 BP); Pedra-Furada, Brazil (15,000 BP, and possibly as old as 32,000 BP).

Bering Strait diehards discount the oral histories of indigenous Americans. In spite of the huge diversity among the American peoples and differences between most Americans and east Asians, all are declared to be of "Mongoloid racial origin." After the initial press stampede declaring "Kennewick Man" to be "white," study of the genetic evidence shows something entirely different. Instead, it appears that there have been several waves of migration: from central China, from the ancient Jomon culture of Japan, from south Asia or the Pacific islands. And "Luzia," an 11,500-year-old female skeleton in Brazil "appeared to be more Negroid in its cranial features than Mongoloid," in the stodgy anthropological terminology of the New York Times (Nov 9, 1999). (Actually she most closely resembles aborignal Australians.) But there is also a uniquely North American X-haploid group of mitochondrial DNA, which has yet to be explained.

THE POWER OF NAMING

STEREOTYPING entire peoples as mad, uncontrollable threats: "Wild Indians," "Yellow Hordes" or "the Yellow Peril." As inferior nonhumans: "primitives," "savages," "gooks," "niggers" -- this last term used not only against African-Americans, but also by 18th-century English colonizers of Egypt and India. Even the word "natives," which originally meant simply the people born in a country and by extension the aboriginal inhabitants, took on heavy racist coloration as an inferior Other.

POLARIZATION: "Scientific thought" vs. "primitive belief"; "undeveloped" vs "civilized"; or "the world's great religions" vs. "tribal superstitions," "cults," "idolatry" or "devil-worship." Depending on where it was created, a sculpture could either be a "masterpiece of religious art" or an "idol," "fetish," or "devil." Few people realize that "Western" scientists did not match the accuracy of ancient Maya calculations of the length of the solar year until the mid-20th century.

Indians who resist colonization and land theft are commonly portrayed as evil in popular media, which applies negative labels such as "Renegades." Here indigenous people are Other; the intruders in their country are The Good Guys. The white hero is named after the Texas Rangers, systematic killers of Indian families. His Indian sidekick's name, Tonto, means "fool, stupid person" in Spanish. RENAMING: Dutch colonists called the Khoi-khoi people "Hottentots" (stutterers). Russians called the northwest Siberian Nentsy "Samoyed" (cannibals). These are blatant examples, but many nationalities are still called by unflattering names given by their enemies: "Sioux" (Lakota); "Miao" (Hmong); "Lapps" (Saami); "Basques" (Euskadi); "Eskimos" (Inuit). European names have replaced the originals in many places: Nigeria, Australia, New Caledonia, New Britain, etc. (But "Rhodesia" bit the dust, after a revolution.)

DEGRADATION OF MEANINGS: "Mumbo jumbo" has become a cliché signifying meaningless superstitions, but it comes from a Mandinke word -- mama dyambo -- for a ritual staff bearing the image of a female ancestor. (Look it up in any good dictionary.) "Fetish" now connotes an obsessive sexual fixation, but originated as a Portuguese interpretation of sacred West African images as "sorcery" (feitição). The holy city of Islam is often appropriated in phrases like "a Mecca for shoppers."

DOUBLE-THINK: Conquest becomes "unification," "pacification,""opening up," and conquered regions are dubbed "protectorates." The convention is to use Europe as the standard, writing texts from the viewpoint of the conquerors / colonizers. Thus, a Rajasthani rebellion against English rule was termed the "Indian Mutiny." A peculiarity of this thinking is the tendency to refer to times of bloody invasions and enslavement with respectful nostalgia, as in "The Golden Age of Greece" and "The Glory That Was Rome," or "How the West Was Won." British subjugation of southern Nigeria is recast as The Pacification of the Primitive Tribes of the Lower Niger.

A contributor to Men Become Civilized, edited by Trevor Cairns, explains it all to children:

"When the king of one city conquered others, he would have to make sure that all the people in all the cities knew what to do. He would have to see that they all had rules to follow, so that they would live peacefully together."

Double-think finds ways to recast genocide as regrettable but necessary, due to failings of the people being killed, who are somehow unable to "adapt." Distancing the agent is key here, obscuring the violence with the idea that some kind of natural process is at work: "vanishing races," "by that time the Indians had disappeared."

THE POWER OF IMAGES

Hollywood tomtoms beat as fake Indians jump up and down, uttering brainless cries and grunts. There's the "squaw" complex in literature and cinema, the faithful Indian sidekick, and Robinson Crusoe's "Man Friday." John Wayne as the Western movie hero, saying: "There's humans and then there's Comanches." Or in real life, the actor tried to justify the settler theft of Indian countries: "There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

This picture appeared in an insurance ad.

Advertising is an important transmitter of historical misrepresentation. It draws on colonial mythologies such as the notion that the Dutch "bought" Manhattan for the equivalent of $24 in trade goods --in spite of the fact that the Indians did not think of land as something that could be sold. The role of violence is completely obliterated. Even history books do not go into the massacres of Native people. On Staten Island settlers slaughtered the people they called "Wappingers," and afterward played football with their severed heads. Tarzan goes up against witch doctors and eye-rolling African chiefs. The Caribbean is shown as full of fearful, superstitious natives and zombies, Arabs who have nothing to do all day but loll around in harems, or cheat the white hero. Seductive Suzie Wongs, thieving Mexicans, and shiftless and sexually insatiable African-Americans. Movies commonly depict the Chinese as obsequious and deceitful, Arabs as treacherous, Africans as ignorant and barbaric.

COUNTERPOINT

The Mande were farming millet and other crops in West Africa in 6500-5000 BCE.

Temples in Peru and Sudan are much older than the Parthenon.

People in Mississippi, Illinois and Mexico traded with each other and exchanged ideas and symbols, as the the sea-faring Ecuadorians did with Costa Rica and western Mexico.

A small-statured Black people built the oldest civilization in southeast Asia, leaving megalithic temples and statuary in south India, Cambodia, Sumatra and other Indonesian islands.

Archaeology shows that the earliest formative influences on ancient Egypt came from Sudan and the Sahara, not the "Middle East."

The oldest megalithic calendar in the world has recently been discovered in the Egyptian Sahara, dating back to 7000 years ago. European megaliths may have an African origin.

Polynesian mariners had begun navigating by the stars and settling the vast ocean expanses of the Pacific islands before the time of Moses.

WHAT GETS DEFINED AS HISTORY?

In the last half century, the boundaries of "acceptable" history have been expanded by a multidisciplinary approach, including sources previously dismissed: orature (oral tradition), linguistics, anthropology, social history, art, music and other cultural sources. More recently, the social locations of historians have come under consideration as a factor shaping their perspectives, along with a sense that there is no absolutely "objective" view of history. Past claims of objectivity have biases clearly visible today, notably in siding with European settlers and slavers against non-christian cultures, and the almost total eclipse of female acts and experience from historical accounts.

A reader who might react negatively to a blatant expression of racism often misses perceiving one cloaked in scholarly language, in assumptions, judgments and misinformation most people have not been educated to catch. It does not occur to many people to question a pronounced overemphasis on Europe, the smallest continent (actually, a subcontinent of Asia.) If a chapter or two on African and Asian history is inserted in a textbook, publishers go ahead and call it a world history. Typically, media depictions of history have not caught up with information now available in specialized academic sources, and continue to present the old stereotypes and distortions as fact.

More on Racism, History and Lies

BARBARIANS AT THE GATES

In the early '90s a hue and cry was raised in the national media against "multiculturalism." It threatened the very foundations of Western Civilization, explained an outpouring of magazine articles and newspaper columns which shed much heat but little light. A Newsweek cover blared: "THOUGHT POLICE: There's a 'Politically Correct' Way to Talk About Race, Sex and Ideas. Is This the New Enlightenment -- Or the New McCarthyism?" As if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, it adds a warning, "Watch What You Say." (December 24, 1990)

"In U.S. classrooms, battles are flaring over values that are almost a reverse image of the American mainstream. As a result, a new intolerance is on the rise." William A. Henry III, "Upside Down in the Groves of Academe", Time Magazine, April 1, 1991

"'It used to be thought that ideas transcend race, gender and class, that there are such things as truth, reason, morality and artistic excellence, which can be understood and aspired to by everyone, of whatever race, gender or class.' Now we have democracy in the syllabus, affirmative action in the classroom. 'No one believes in greatness.' Bate says mournfully. 'That's gone.'" Gertrude Himmelfarb, Op-Ed in New York Times Magazine, June 5, 1991

"If there is insufficient authentic African culture to meet the demands of self-esteem, then culture must be borrowed from ancient Egypt. No black pharaohs? A few must be invented. Not enough first-rate women poets? Let second-raters be taught instead." --James Kilpatrick, "Poisoning the Groves of Academe," San Francisco Chronicle, April 15, 1991

The assumption that were are no great women poets, no black pharaohs, no other greatness than the usual diet of "Western Civilization" is so ingrained that it is regarded as incontrovertible. Protesting the monochrome, all-male landscape of classic pedagogy becomes "intolerance." But what then are we to call the refusal to open up media and educational horizons to the full spectrum of human achievement?

A response to John Baines' review (August 11, 1991) of Cheikh Anta Diop's Civilization or Barbarism and Martin Bernal's Black Athena:

To the Editor, New York Times Book Review:

Mr. Baines' review of Diop and Bernal express alarm that their books "attack modern conceptions of the origins of Western Civilization" by showing the anteriority of African (especially Egyptian) achievements. It seems to me that he would like to deny the context of the whole discussion, which has been centuries of exalting the Greeks as the fount of Western Civilization and denying the role of Africa in the ancient world. Egypt is treated as part of the "Middle East," and her relations with the rest of Africa ignored. In this context, to demand an "intellectual contribution that will stand without reference to issues of race" is to perpetuate an injurious status quo.

This denial is especially ludicrous in the frequently-heard claim that because Egyptians were "ethnically mixed," they were not black. Southern African peoples are ethnically mixed, yet it would occur to no one that they are other than black. More to the point, if an ancient Egyptian were to find herself in the United States, she would fall within the range of colors we describe as "black." This business of reddish-brown-skinned men and golden-skinned women was a convention in Egyptian art (and one adopted by the Cretans, Greek vases, and Etruscans, bearing out the hypothesis of Egyptian influence). If Mr. Baine wants to take the golden women as a racial marker for light-skinned Egyptians, is he also willing to concede dark-brown-skinned Etruscan men? His claim that considering the race of the Egyptians is "unhelpful"--and the many others who declare it irrelevant--is coy and evasive.

Max Dashu, Suppressed Histories Archives

[The Times did not publish this letter.]

See Ibrahim Sundiata's excellent article, Afrocentrism: The Argument We're Really Having, for more discussion of the African-ness of the Egyptians and racialist agendas of denial.

Here is a recent example of how the pernicious ideas described in this article percolate into popular consciousness. An October 18, 2005 post to an Illinois Museum site reacted to the one of the greatest sculptures in Indian America (known as the "Birger figurine") falls back on the Technological Calibration model:

"The Cahokia Indians never made it out of the stone age, not even to the primitive level of metal working found in the Mayan, Toltec, and Inca societies further south... [If they had left a written record, we would know more] but since they never made it that far, we have to rely on their works." [from the site Indian History: Unearthed artifacts from Cahokia]

More food for thought from Peggy McIntosh, who wrote White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack (1988)

“I have met very few men who were truly distressed about systemic, unearned male advantage and conferred dominance. And so one question for me and others like me [meaning white feminists concerned with male domination] is whether we will be like them, or whether we will get truly distressed, even outraged, about unearned race advantage and conferred dominance, and, if so, what we will do to lessen them. In any case, we need to do more work in identifying how they actually affect our daily lives. Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism doesn’t affect them because they are not people of color; they do not see “whiteness” as a racial identity. In addition, since race and sex are not the only advantaging systems at work, we need similarly to examine the daily experience of having age advantage, or ethnic advantage, or physical ability, or advantage related to nationality, religion, or sexual orientation….

“Disapproving of the system won’t be enough to change them. I was taught to think that racism could end if white individuals changed their attitude. But a 'white skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate but cannot end, these problems.”

Peggy McIntosh, Ph.D. from the Winter 1990 issue of Independent School

© 2000 Max Dashu ... Updated 2008

Suppressed Histories Archives

[vminvisiblestring]

The Boys Origins: Lamplighter

i made a post about lamplighter a while ago but i wanted to make another one ahead of his appearance in episode six in a few hours. previous lamplighter post spoiler free (i think) here: https://stranger-galstiel.tumblr.com/post/627916014119682048/lamplighter-you-guys-dont-know-how-excited-i

SPOILERS FOR THE BOYS SERIES SEASON 2 EPISODES 5&6 AND MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOYS COMICS

tw //  9/11  ,  death  ,  disturbing image  ,  murder  ,  zombie-like state

i mentioned this in my first lamplighter post but there is almost no information known about lamplighter from the comics because he only appears in a few scenes in flashback so if there seem to be big details left out, know its because there isnt much to work on from the comics. so if you hit the keep reading mark, lets continue. 

 the lamplighter iteration above is the revamp he was given for the show but in the comics his look is more, well this:

his power is derived from the staff he carries which can be used as a kind of blowtorch and can omit a blinding light. but other than the usual hes strong and he can fly, thats pretty much all we know about him. 

my theory for the show is that the lighter he was flipping during his call to stormfront is the staff

okay im going to keep the events as linear as i can, numbered, because it can get confusing, here we go:

1: we know in the show, mallory (gender-swapped for the show, retains the name from the comics) blames butcher for the death of her granchildren but i cant remember if they talk about whether it was lamplighter or not (more on that in a minute).

2: now we backtrack to 9/11. in the comics, the seven are sent to save one of the hijacked planes and they fail miserably (this is the mirror in season 1 when homelander and maeve arent able to save the plane, i cover that in my queen maeve post here: https://stranger-galstiel.tumblr.com/post/628324444982657024/tw-plane-crash-spoilers-for-the-boys )

lamplighter was there but he left after getting hit by the wing of the plane and breaking multiple bones.

3: unlike in the show, in the comics homelander is well aware of the boys and knows that they are known for blackmailing supes to keep them in check (we saw a first glimpse of that in the last episode when billy blackmailed edgar saying he had pictures of ryan, and just as a side note, expect more blackmailing from the boys its their specialty). when the boys find out about what really happened they threaten vought with exposing what the supes did (and primarily homelander since he was the reason the plane went down into the hudson in the first place due to his violent streak) to the plane and the people. lamplighter isnt happy with this and leaves the team.

4: back to one - i spoke briefly about how mallory blamed butcher for the death of her grandkids but in the comics lamplighter actually follows mallory to his grandkids and when they are alone he burns them alive. mallory blames butcher in the comics as well, but the difference with the show is that the boys are coming together for the first time as opposed to already being a team in the comics so the only one who knows about any of this is butcher.

5: the seven and the boys meet in an air force base for a ceasefire and when the boys get there they find the hangar covered in blood (the seven killed an entire platoon) and are told by the seven thats what will happen to them if they dont agree to mutually stop (the seven would stay out of national matters and the boys wouldnt release their blackmail). the seven also give the boys the lamplighter and after beating him, mallory shoots him in the head and throws him out of an airplane, presumably killing him.

6: we know that lamplighter “retired” at the beginning of the boys series; thats how starlight was able to join the team. this is the same in the comics HOWEVER its revealed years later that lamplighter did not die when he was shot in the head and thrown out a plane (since hes still a supe and all that). so vought brought him back to life and kept him hidden away in the basements of the tower, since he can no longer be a superhero in his zombified state. these zombie supes are “displayed” in certain circumstances but are not meant to have a life anymore. this is so vought can maintain a facade that their heroes are “indestructible”

SO NOW MY THEORY SINCE THE SHOW HAS GONE OFF THE RAILS FROM THE COMICS:

okay in 6 i talked about how vought brought the lamplighter back to life but hes in a zombie state so hes not fit to be a functioning member of society. the original run of the comics is set between 2006-8 and we know we’ve advanced in the field of medicine quite a lot since that time so what if vought was able to advance medicine so much they made lamplighter fully functioning and that place the boys are going to visit in the this episode is where they keep them and lamplighter is there guarding voughts secret and the boys are about to discover it and hes helping them to stop them.

but my theory only works if lamplighter had died in the show which as of now we know he probably hasnt unless vought killed him to prove a point and then brought him back for whatever reason. i just dont know whats happening its making me so nervous

all origins and theories aside though WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK WAS LAMPLIGHTER TALKING TO STORMFRONT SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT SHIT TO ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

#the boys #the seven #lamplighter #shawn ashmore #vought #the boys spoilers #the boys comics #amazon the boys #the boys season 2 #eric kripke #mentioned: #homelander #queen maeve #billy the butcher #stormfront #gals: the boys queue #galstiel: the boys collection

[firebunnylover]

Hannah Watches LOSH - Champions

AND WE RETURN ONCE AGAIN TO THE LOSH REVIEWS!

Thank you so much for waiting. Finals were a pain.

So the friend who hasn’t watched losh that i was hoping to get her reactions wasn’t able to watch the episode with me due to her schedule. I was able to stream it with @cyclone-rachel and @peskyshortcake though.

Champions

The episodes starts of with our cheery episode palette colors, indicating we have since moved on from the previous dark episode stretch we had.

We find the main characters are at a futuristic athletic event at a place called the Dodecathelon, I’m probably butchering the spelling, with Lightning Lad competing.

We’re asking the important questions.

Never change PG

And then we get the announcers talking about one of the competitors, which Lightning Lad immediately assumes is him.

HERE IT COMES

HERE IT COMES

Also a moment to appreciate PG’s face

MY FAVORITE TRASH BABY IN ALL EXISTENCE

MY SASSY PIECE OF TRASH

After the opening plays, the scene opens to Lightning Lad confronting Mekt.

WOW.

Mm. Obvious sibling rivalry.

SUCH SASS.

AND LOOK AT THE FACE HERE

BEAUTIFUL

Also our chat kept spiraling into insanity.

I love him too much

Also, give him credit for going at Lightning Lad’s biggest flaw - his pride. While pride is certainly important to have, it can also be dangerous to have too much. It’s what usually leads to his aggressive behavior towards others.

One other thing: interesting choice on making his outfit red/fire themed. Wonder why the staff went with that choice.

I LOVE HIM

As soon as he’s gone, Phantom Girl gives Lightning Lad reassurance he can win. First time we see her being the compassionate one.

I feel her.

And then we get her complaining about what she went through to get them seats.

AND WE FIND OUT WHO MOM IS. THE PRESIDENT

HO GEEZE. SO NOW WE KNOW HOW SHE’S PRIVILEGE.

I have to say that the people we see in the diplomatic skybox have nice designs.

And then we get one of the best moments

WHY WAS HE ON THE TABLE?!

PHANTOM GIRL’S FACE AND SUPERMAN’S FACE I LOVE THEM

And here she is.

And then she goes straight for her daughter.

Ho boy, nervous Supes? He can’t maintain eye contact, and keeps fumbling over his words.

She’s kinda fast to assume PG and Superman had a thing tho.

Well, it’s well spent budget at least. Disney could learn a few things.

Then we switch to the race.

Why tho???

YOU LITTLE SHIT

And then we get our first hint that something is up with the judge who looks away.

But why didn’t the other judges notice?

But despite Mekt trying to get the upper hand, Lightning Lad manages to get ahead again.

DEM LEGS

NO ONE CAN DENY IT

But Mekt denies the cheating attempt, saying the judges didn’t see anything. What a prick.

Cutting back to Superman and Phantom Girl, we see Clark is impressed by the current version of sport events. And then Winema comes in.

OH NO. 

TINYA I FEEL YOU.

When Superman states that they’re just friends, Phantom Girl uses the excuse to get snacks to leave, despite the place being catered.

Strained relationship much between mom and daughter.

When the two of them are discussing moms while checking out merchandise, Phantom Girl states “She doesn’t have a clue,” indicating poor communication between mom and daughter. And then Superman comments that his mom get’s busy as well but doesn’t miss much. So clearly, despite the uncertainty on how to handle his powers we saw in the first episode, Superman thought she was trying her best to.

But then it turns out Superman has a “trouble-is-happening” sense and sees something under the Skybox, which Phantom Girl recognizes to be a bomb.

When he goes to chuck it into space, it goes off, and we get some more wonderful faces. Unfortunately, I had to lower the quality of the first gif of the scene, but golly it’s so good to see.

Wow.

Clearly this episode devoted more time to the faces than other episodes.

And then they see Tharok disguised as a pinwheel vender, prompting Superman to give chase.

When they zip by a crowd, people ask who just went by. Put on the spot, Phantom Girl starts chanting “Lightning Lad”.

Which everyone starts to chant as well.

… I want to know how offended Lightning Lad was at this.

Despite catching up with Tharok, Superman loses him after getting sticky-pinwheels on his face.

Realizing that Emerald Empress is cloaking him, it immediately confirms all 5 of the Fatal Five are at the event. And this time, their target is the President. They’re aiming big.

Back with the actual sports event, we learn about flare surfing. Which is definitely a sport. A very dangerous one too, provided it takes place in a volcano.

With the main three of this episode, they are discussing how to treat the situation of the F5’s presence. Superman suggests the SP, but Phantom Girl said it’s a bad idea that will cause more panic. And then Lightning Lad states that there won’t be enough time to evacuate the huge number of people there.

When Lightning Lad says that they will stop the F5 by themselves, PG says he can’t quit after training all year for this event. Showing that she doesn’t want him to sacrifice his hard work. Superman tells the group they can all do their bit separately, keeping Lightning Lad in the competition.

And then Trash Baby interrupts, accusing Lightning Lad of getting help from his teammates, and tells him not to think of using the flight ring to cheat. Wow. Do you have any right to say that Mekt.

AND THE ADULT MIND IMMEDIATELY GETS ANOTHER IMAGE FOR THAT SHOT

First up for flare surfing is Tenzil Kem, simply called Kem in this episode, aka the future Matter-Eater Lad. And his performance is pretty impressive. Dude has some moves

PESKY!

(the chat soon dissolved in us discussing Pesky’s life choices)

Following him is Lightning Lad, who also does a very impressive performance… which Mekt proceeds to ruin.

Cat behavior.

Simply put. Lightning Lad gets deducted points because he lands on the contestant Mekt shoved.

But this next part, Superman spots Mano. Mano, why would you go as a painter? Everyone knows that painters don't show up on game days.

Then we get socially awkward Tinya. Gotta love social awkwardness.

Followed by badass Tinya, who finds Persuader disguised as a guard.

But in all seriousness, when the ship Persuader has blows up, HOW DOES NO ONE NOTICE?!

Superman doesn’t hit kids, he tackles them.

AND THEN GETS STEPPED ON BY THE KIDS AS THEY SHAPESHIFT INTO VALIDUS.

OOF. HE GONNA BE SORE. But who was he expecting if he wasn’t prepared for that to happen??

Returning to the competition, we see that the final event is start. Dashing across lava canyons. What is it with this event and heat in deadly environments?!

Again, asking important questions.

I have to ask another thing - how did the obstacle that hit Kem NOT severely injure him? I mean he’s definitely pissed.

Dem legs can jump though, given Mekt managed to evade a sand trap several feet wide.

Also, during the group watch, I kept trying to get the video to pause on this one frame… we wasted 5 minutes trying to get to it.

The scene.

The struggle.

And the frame i wanted to show.

I’m sorry but Mekt’s face just cracks me up whenever I see it.

I’ll leave this frame up to interpretation to you guys.

However, immediately after Lightning Lad save’s Mekt, he shoves his little brother’s face into the ground.

Big brother behavior? IDK I don’t have brothers.

Furthermore, he sets off another trap that causes a column over the lava to start collapsing.

Lightning Lad manages to get out of the boobytrap easily, while another contestant, Karl (I THINK THAT’S HIS NAME? IDK I WISH THIS SHOW HAD SUBTITLES), isn’t so lucky.

But then we see a major change in behavior in Lightning Lad.

He ditches his chance to win and saves him.

Let’s go over this a bit on why it’s important. This guy was an arrogant brat when we first meet him, and his pride is so big he has to be first (“DUDE! THAT’S MY SPOT!”). And this is the event he has trained a whole year for. But he’s grown during our 5 episodes.

And back to Mekt, he wins. And I’m sorry to say this but I’m happy a wee bit for him? I mean look how happy he looks crossing that line.

As for why I’m happy, I’ll discuss that later. Cuz it goes into the dynamic of the brothers.

YOU LITTLE ****

The episode jumps forwards to the ceremony, where Lightning Lad is sulking and is being comforted by PG and Supes. It’s pretty touching.

At first.

GARTH U SORE LOSER

PG then prompts Lightning Lad to go take his medal, leading him to stand next to Mekt.

And then Mekt pulls something out.

Oh no.

I love how he says that.

With no forcefield, F5 proceed to crash the ceremony.

Two questions: WHY IS THAT EYEBALL SO BIG?? WHY FOCUS ON JUST VALIDUS’S REVEAL??

As soon as the Fatal Five reveal themselves, Lighting Lad immediately says he knew the judge had it in for him.

REALLY?! THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO WHINE ABOUT THE JUDGE?!

I LOVE HOW THE ANNOUNCERS ARE THE ONES WHO LEAD UP TO THE COMMERCIAL BREAK THO

Post commercial break, F5 and the legionnaires start going at it, while Empress goes to capture the president.

EMPRESS THIS IS NOT A TIME TO FLIRT

OUCH. THAT FACE.

Phantom Girl is not happy of the idea of having an enemy for a second mom though, swooping in to get her mom out of the stage.

Whiles Superman is dealing with Validus, Mano, and Empress (plus the eye), we get another shot of Ranzz bros.

MEKT

And then the chat dissolves into more insanity. Thank’s Pesky.

LOOK AT WHAT PG PROCEEDS TO DO THEN WHEN SHE’S BACK.

SHE GRABS MANO, PHASES HIM THROUGH THE FLOOR, THEN USES HIS HAND TO MELT THAROK’S LEG. DAMN GURL

Empress catches Superman, so he tries to fry the eye like he did the first episode. But it doesn’t work, leaving Empress commenting that she wasn’t going to let him do that twice. Give her a gold star for learning.

When it looks like Superman is doomed to the eye, Jo Nah comes to the rescue, suckerpunching that eye into space, freezes Empress, who then gets kicked by PG

And then comes a bit that i know kills my dear friend @augment-techs inside

I’m sorry, but clearly PG was looking at the booty in the last bit.

Meanwhile, the broadcasters start to tell audience what’s happening, which I continue to find amusing. They even cut away from Lighting Lad’s possible demise to advertise snacks.

They just call Superman “This Fella in Blue”. I bet Brainy called in later and started to flood their office with complaints.

But seriously. HOW ARE PEOPLE SURVIVING VALIDUS LANDING ON THEM?! VALIDUS IS SENT FLYING AND THEN HE LANDS ON EMPRESS.

Who grunts miserably for Validus to get off.

The SP are getting ready to take the F5 away, and we see our lovable trash baby again.

OBSERVATIONS ARE MADE.

Nice jump.

And then we get what is a very interesting exchange.

Dat eyeliner tho. 

But I find the way he closes his eyes before laughing interesting. And in his reflection, when he does laugh, it doesn’t look as confident when he did earlier. Taking that those words left a bigger gash than expected?

Another time jump takes us to another, smaller, ceremony. And a bit of mom-daughter bonding.

And then that’s followed by Winema asking if Lightning Lad is single.

OH NO

OH GOD

MY FRIEND DIES MORE AGAIN AT THE WINK OUT OF DISGUST

She’s done. As this episode is.

So final thoughts on the episode overall.

I love it.

This had some of the best expressions, and animation, in the whole series.

We had gone through three episodes of darker plots to get some lighter plots again, which is what the main characters need/deserve right now after everything that has happened so far.

While Lightning Lad plays a huge part of the episode, so does Phantom Girl.

This is also the beginning of Lightning Lad’s growth in character. Which was needed, given he was a huge, egotistical jerk in the first episode. We see he’s willing to give up first place to save others, although he will still throw a tantrum later (the locker room). And his interactions with his brother was enjoyable to watch. He clearly is not on good terms, and it seems every interaction he does is bad. Except when he saves him from being blasted during the dash. So he still cares for him on some level. Just not a high enough level that he can have a good/positive interaction.

Phantom Girl has more character development as well. We finally know where the “privilege but misunderstood” expertise comes from. Her life as the President’s daughter. She clearly hates the political part of life, having enough of being in major spotlights of that kind. But she was still willing to do stuff to get her and Superman seats in the best spot. Plus we know that she enjoys to oogle guys, but gets annoyed when people assume she’s dating/interested in her teammates. And we get to see a bit of her softer side when she’s comforting Lightning Lad.

Although I guess she divulged off screen to Superman that her mom was the President though.

Speaking of Superman - HE FINALLY GETS A LIGHT PLOT EPISODE AFTER 3 DARK PLOT EPISODES THANK GOD. He needed this so bad. Although this episode is not Superman centric. But god, he was so funny when talking to the president.

As for the F5… once again, could have used more development. I think that eyeball can change it’s size tho. But we see Empress is clearly a good planner on these things, as she even predicted Superman using his heat vision on the eyeball again.

The other guest characters were interesting to see.

The reporters were fun to listen to. Also had cool designs.

It looks like most people in the 31st century have powers, given that some of the competitors ended up fighting against the F5. Most probably just don’t know how to use them effectively against criminals.

We get our first appearance of Matter-Eater Lad and Ultra Boy.

@augment-techs, I can hear you hurling at the mention of Ultra Boy.

Neither of them are really delved into character wise, although we do have Ultra Boy winking at PG at the end.

But when watching this episode, I noticed they were talking to each other in the background (around the part when the legion trio were discussing how to go about the F5 threat). Friends maybe?

A fair number of the background characters had pretty cool designs, but a problem with this show is how most characters the same age as the legionnaires, if humanoid, share the same body type, both guys and girls.

… And as far as I saw, there’s only one girl competing.

Sigh.

Winema is so good to see after Dr. Londo. She does care for her daughter, and tries to reach out to her. Would be the type of parent who offers a condom during sex rather than scold you. However, her ways of reaching out to her is not without flaws. First off the bat, politics. She couldn’t give her daughter a medal in the end mainly because of the political feedback. Who knows how much it affected other interactions beforehand?

And then we have her immediate assumptions that she is dating Superman, and that she’s interested in dating one of the other boys at the end. It’s uncomfortable when people assume you and someone the opposite are “more than just friends”.

Furthermore, watching this episode now that I think PG might be bi, it led to a new idea of the assumptions and how PG feels about them.

Simply put, her mom is offering only suggestions on guys. Not girls.

As a pansexual, let me say it’s annoying when people assume you are only into one gender. Even more so if they assume you are straight. And when that person is family, that’s opening another whole can of worms. Sometimes the people aren’t aware of how it’s a bad thing but can be simply told and they will get it, and then there’s the homophobic/biphobic/panphobic people.

I think Winema is probably the first of the two though. She’s the best parent on this show.

In any case though, going off on the idea that she might be bi, Phantom Girl hasn’t gone to tell her that she is interested in girls. Maybe she’s afraid how it will play out politically? Or if her mom takes it badly?

Questions, questions.

But let’s talk about my FAVORITE PART OF THIS WHOLE EPISODE.

Mekt Ranzz.

Oh my god, he’s like the fusion of Grunkle Stan and Victor Nikiforov. Willing to cheat, but clearly has athletic talents... and pretty looks.

Okay, the fact that I am able to compare him to Victor leaves enough leverage for me to justify me shiping him with Superman, who I compared to Yuuri in the first review. Everyone shush.

But as for character dissection, let’s bring something from the previous episode.

Lightning Lad’s room.

I managed to adjust the brightness/contrast in the original frame so that we can see it, unlike the way Fear Factory just made everything to dark to see.

YES I AM STILL BITTER ABOUT FEAR FACTORY BEING DARK AS ****

The shelfs has a lot of trophies. As in, filled with them.

And now recall what Mekt said after winning the dash, and then when Lightning Lad went to confront him.

“Nothing wrong with silver, little brother. You should be used to second place by now.”

“All I did was make a deal with the judge, so I’d come in first! For a change.”

Okay, those two statements seem to conflict with each other, but hear me out.

Lightning Lad was always, or usually, getting first place when they were younger in athletic events. And Mekt was probably never prided in any of his accomplishments. So when the Empress in disguise offers him that chance to get of first place, he jumps for it. Hence why he looks so friggin happy when he crosses the line.

As for the statement he makes after the race, I think he might have been making a jab at Lightning Lad with something said to him from their childhood.Or he was referring to the competition itself, given that he ruined his landing earlier (and possibly some other events we didn’t see.)

Either way, it was to rub more salt into Lightning Lad’s wounded pride.

He is capable of regret though. His expression seen when Empress addresses him when she grabs the President, and to me, the way he looked at himself in the medal and laughed. That laugh, and the expression he made, seemed less malicious than it did when I first watched the episode.

Let me make this clear really quick, I did not like Mekt when I first watched this. Everything he did seemed like a total prick move. This wasn’t the first episode I saw him in though. That was Lightning Storm. So my opinion of him was arguably ruined by that.

But in terms of stepping up to make things right, at this point in the show, he’s no where close. He runs away for crying out loud. Then again, no evidence if he has ever fought people like the F5 before.

But he did offer Lightning Lad his medal. The medal that he cheated to get. Really the most decent thing he does in the whole episode.

He clearly isn’t as angry towards Lightning Lad. Way less. Heck, he provokes him in a somewhat playful manner at times. Mekt seems more open to them having a positive relationship than Lightning Lad. Which says a lot on how he views their relationship in comparison to his brother.

Maybe my fondness of him, and actually knowing his background based on the comics, is getting in the way of me properly seeing how the staff wanted to portray him? Probably.

But I can’t deny that I love him… and making his life a nightmare.

Given Mekt ties into Lightning Lad’s backstory though, it makes more sense that Fear Factory was suppose to come out before Champions, as it was the opening act to us learning about it on this show.

Characters in this episode:

Superman gets the light-hearted plotline he deserves. Finally. In terms of development, not much happens with him though. But given that this episode wasn’t suppose to focus on him, we can let it go.

Phantom Girl gets so much more development than any other episode, and we get a better look at her personality than before, where she was a supporting character. Plus we get perhaps the best facial expressions in the show from her.

Again, I cannot stress this enough, this is a huge part on Lightning Lad’s character development. But it’s not the starting point of understanding his personality, because that was the previous episode, with his bedroom and his fears. Now I COULD delve into every bit right now. But I won’t. I will do it as the episodes go along.

And then the competitors: Matter Eater Lad/Kem was fun to see, even though not much of his personality was really explored. Zzok was endearing to see - nice to know the competitions weren’t humanoid exclusive. Ultra Boy/Jo Nah had a bit more personality than the others, given he interacted with PG - I HEAR YOU GROANING AUGMENT!! And the possibility that he and Kem are friends even before/during the competition is interesting.

Fatal Five. Again - not the most interesting villains, with Empress being the most intriguing of the 5 of them, but not enough to engage people as much as other villains.

Winema is the best parent in the 31st century on this show during the first season. Hands down. The remedy to seeing Dr. Londo’s abuse. A woman of power also. What’s not to love? Well, her assumptions on Tinya wanting to go out with only guys, particularly teammates. But hopefully she will correct that in the future.

And let me say this again, I LOVE MEKT. He’s such a trash baby, and a pretty one too. Can be one of the best villains on this show. Reason why I say can is, like Alexis, that title doesn’t seem right for him in this episode. As for the next episode we see him, he will fit that description of villain. Still curious on the staff’s choice for his outfit though.

#Hannah Watches LOSH #losh #legion of superheroes #mekt ranzz #lightning lad #phantom girl #winema wazzo #superman

[shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog]

How do major life insurance policies work? I have only ever had the ones offered through jobs.?

"How do major life insurance policies work? I have only ever had the ones offered through jobs.?

I am single, non-smoker, 25 year old female in reasonablly good health. Non-homeowner & no kids.     How do you invest through life insurance? Etc...

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am a single mom looking for affordable health insurance for myself. Where might I look for this?

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Health insurance help.?

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Im looking to get a car soon and im curious on how much car insurance would be. 2012 toyota corolla s im 18, female, Live in Florida Not married or anything, no kids Iv been driving for 2 yrs No accidents or tickets Also i have no credit (Ps whats a safe way to gain credit?) and i work at dunkin donuts. Thats all the details i believe i would need to know the answer.""

I need a job to save for college and driver's ed?

I'll be 16 next month and I need a job badly. I'm saving up for driver's ed, a car, insurance, and an apartment for college. I've tried restaurants, burger joints, etc. But everyone seems to be on hiring freezes or is only hiring adults. I need to start saving indepently because my parents can't support me forever. What are some job options for a 16 year old f in ma?""

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I plan on buying a Suzuki dr-z400s and I'd like to know what some people are paying for their insurance. Or maybe just what I would be paying. I'm 16 years old, Male, and I have a clean record. I'm not sure what kind of insurance I would get but probably just liability. Thanks!""

How can I get insurance on a car that is being bought for me and my name is not on the title?

My daughter is buying the car on her credit, so I can pay her. When it comes to the insurance on the car, how do I get the insurance in my name and have her as an occasionally driver on the policy? Can that be done""

Sr22 insurance help please anyone?

Ok so i got pulled over last week...and i got a ticket... I also have to appear to court because i got another ticket for no insurance proof.. i was driving my dads vehicle and i couldnt find the insurance card but I can proof my dad did have insurance... So would I still have to file for sr22????

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My son just got his Jr's license will my insurance go up? Or does he need a Senior license for that

Where can i find my proof of insurance?

Earlier today i went to DMV for my behind the wheel test but they're asking for my proof of insurance but i dont know where can i find it. do i need to ask for a copy of proof of insurance to my insurance company?

What kind of insurance do I need.?

I am hauling different random thing for people that dont have trucks. boats, 4wheelers, farm equipment..... I would like to keep my regular auto insurance. Is there something that I can add or get a separate plan to where I can cover what ever I have in my truck or trailer. say up to 50,000.""

Will my auto insurance be affected?

Couple month ago, I was in an accident while driving my friend's car. Police were called, and police report were filed. I didn't have a car nor auto insurance, so I paid for all the repairs on both car, so insurance company wasn't involved. If I decide to buy a car and get auto insurance now, will my rate be affected? better yet, should I even tell the insurance company about it? Thanks in advance!""

""Why can't we have Geiko,State Farm, or Progressive auto insurance in the state of Ma?.?""

I always see t.v. commercials for them but at the bottom of the screen it says not available in Ma. and a few other states that I can't remember. If I could save money buy switching to one of those companies I would but I can't , so I have to pick from Commerce or Metropolitan. My car insurance is really expensive (I pay over $300 a month) I have only had my license for a couple years so I under stand the whole new driver thing and my car was new when I bought it so I have full coverage but the car is only a Kia Rio, far from a sports car or luxury car. I pay more for my insurance than for the car payments.""

Antique motorcycles older than 25 years dont have to pay insurance?

Im sure i remember being told if a motorcycle is older than 25 years you dont have to pay out any insurance on it is that right??

How am I supposed to afford car insurance?

I'm driving uninsured right now because for me to get car insurance is $900 every six months. That would crush me financially right now. Between rent and gas, and what little Starbucks pretends to pay me, not to mention food (and sometimes that's one meal a day, and even then it may be stealing expired sandwiches and pastries from the garbage can at Starbucks). So, it's utterly naive of the government to think of driving as a luxury , when in reality- when you have to travel 20 miles a day to get to work at Starbucks- walking is unrealistic. The bus routes do not go by there, by the way. How the hell do they expect a 24-year old man to afford car insurance, when he has to work to earn the money to pay for it, and he has to drive to work, and in order to drive he has to drive illegally?! The @#*%ing system is completely screwed up if you ask me. Don't get me started on how the hell I'm supposed to afford gas these days, either.""

How do major life insurance policies work? I have only ever had the ones offered through jobs.?

I am single, non-smoker, 25 year old female in reasonablly good health. Non-homeowner & no kids.     How do you invest through life insurance? Etc...

Does anyone know what the average insurance cost for a 2004 Dodge Ram is?

I just bought a beautiful 2004 dodge ram quad cab 4x2 4.7 V8 and i have quotes that range from $165- $303 per month. If you have a similiar truck to mine, how much is the average insurance payment, and what company do you use? I head AAA and 21st Century were pretty good?""

Are you going to purchase health insurance as required by law ?

Now that the public option is off the table ? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul Where's the guarantee that it will become affordable ?

Progressive good student discount question. PLEASE HELP!?

i just found out i have to pay $100 per month for my insurance and i just got my license but my parents can't really afford to pay that right now so i was wondering what is their required GPA for the good student discount in California, Please help me.""

Whos got the cheapest auto rates on insurance right now?

Whos got the cheapest auto rates on insurance right now?

How much money off my insurance will driving school save me?

I live in calgary alberta and my dad just put me into driving school. I was wondering, by how much money would my parents monthly insurance costs be raised with out driving school if i were an occasional driver. How much money is it going to go up by after i take the driving school? im a 17 year old male. i dont have my licence yet but im taking the road test on friday, the day of my final driving course.""

What is the CHEAPEST car insurance for a 21 year old male who never had his own policy?

What is the CHEAPEST car insurance for a 21 year old male who never had his own policy?

Lower insurance for young driver?

so i know when you are under your parents it isn't as high i know people paying 50 dollars a month or something like that my situation though i just turned 21 im in need of a car but im the only driver in my family (single mom never got her license) i know that one-way coverage is about 300 something a month but if i finance a car i need full coverage which the price is crazy expensive something like 800-1100 a month is there anyway i can get lower insurance rate or something of the sort ?

How much will insurance cost for a BMW z3?

I'm 16 years old but will be 17 next month. So lets say Im 17 for now. Im looking to buy a BMW z3 because they are pretty cheap and really nice cars. I maintain a 3.0 GPA and have a clean record and live in Southern California. Anyone have an estimate on how much insurance will be?

""I am 15 and will be 16 in early October, today i got my national insurance number. Does this mean i can work?

I was just wondering now i have my national insurance number if i could start applying for some Saturday jobs?

How much should I expect to pay for umbrella insurance?

I'm a landscaping contractor in Southern California. I think I need about $2,000,000 in umbrella insurance. How much should I expect to pay (yearly) for that?""

""Car accident, other insurance wont pay my car hire bills, my insurance wants me to take driver to small claims?""

The car hire bill the other side won't pay is four thousand pounds. My insurance were very slow deciding car was a write-off, so I had the hire car for nearly a month. They want ...show more""

Car insurance for a teenage female?

i'll be turning sixteen soon and im curious as to what the average cost rate with state farm for a new driver is?

Why is my car insurance quotes so high?

Hello, I'm 17 years old and have just pasted my ful uk license and am looking for a car and insurance. The car i want is a vaxuhuall corsa 1.0 litre 3door. My friend has a 1.1 litre and his insurance is 1,200 with his dad on it. But when i look with exactly the same details (locked garage, mileage, etc) with my dad on it (i also entered my friends post code to see if there is a difference) but the cheapest quote has been 4400. Help?""

Homeowners and health insurance?

We have Nationwide homeowners insurance, which is just added to our mortgage. If we get health insurance through them too, do you think they can just add it to our mortgage also?""

Finding 2000-3000 insurance for young driver?

With my UK license I intend on buying myself a car for university (GOLF or POLO). Being a young driver (19 years old), insurers are less than happy to offer cheap insurances. The best quote I've found so far from gocompare and dozens of other websites are Quinn Direct with 3800. Could you please suggest where to get cheap 3rd party insurance, you're welcome to mention other car models if it helps cheapening it. Thanks""

""If i just got my permit, can i drive my moms car without insurance?

I just got my permit and want to drive my moms car. Do i have to be on her insurance if i only have a permit?

Do black males have higher insurence then white males?

Do black males have higher insurence then white males?

Car Insurance-Is it OK to lie?

I read somewhere that if you run a stop light and hit the other car, you should not admit your fault because of insurance costs. What do you think?""

Sites of the insurance quotes reliable?

http://www.education-house.com/insurance/index.html

I am looking for car insurance for a courier?

this is different from regular insurance.. is there any service that offers just courier insurance. one who uses their car to make deliveries

Car insurance for a 15 soon to be 16 year old?

so i am looking at getting my first car and so i need to be thinking about car insurance and my grade point average is like 2 something. i have american family. any ideas what their rates would be.??

Whats a ball park price on car insurance for.......?

18 year old, not married, perfect driving record, in Georgia, one car, and only me being insured..... not sure about the make of the car yet haven't decided what I want. I'm planning on buying a new car and paying for it WITHOUT MY PARENTS HELP!!! Around how much would that cost me per month?""

Cheap full coverage car insurance for an 18 year old?

Ok i got my license on 10/29/2012 and I am just now getting a car. I bought a 2000 Honda Accord EX Coupe for 4800 and I am getting it financed over a 36 month loan period time. So with that being said the credit union requires me to have full coverage auto insurance so I want to know where is the cheapest place for a teenager to get insurance. I turned 18 back in August. The lowest i have seen so far is 193/6mos and that is with StateFarm

Does insurance cost less for drivers that are 18 than for 16 year olds?

Does insurance cost less for drivers that are 18 than for 16 year olds?

Will I get my licence quicker if I learn in an automatic? Will the insurance be cheaper if I go on my dads?

Before you say it, I know I wont be able to drive manual if I just learn in an automatic""

How do major life insurance policies work? I have only ever had the ones offered through jobs.?

I am single, non-smoker, 25 year old female in reasonablly good health. Non-homeowner & no kids.     How do you invest through life insurance? Etc...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/texas-insurance-fraud-douglas-pearson/"

[behealthy99]

India Reports Over 2.35L New Covid Cases in Last 24 Hrs, Infections Below 3L for 4th Day

New Post has been published on https://behealthy99.com/india-reports-over-2-35l-new-covid-cases-in-last-24-hrs-infections-below-3l-for-4th-day/

India Reports Over 2.35L New Covid Cases in Last 24 Hrs, Infections Below 3L for 4th Day

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With 40 deaths, while Pune circle reported the highest number of fatalities, Mumbai reported 30. The toll has remained in two digits since January 16 in Mumbai. “The deaths in Mumbai are likely to remain in two digits for another two weeks or so. These are critical patients and, as per Covid trends seen during the last two waves, daily mortality could be between 10% and 20% in ICUs,” said Dr Avinash Supe, a member of the state task force monitoring Covid deaths, told The Times of India.

The government of Haryana has given a go-ahead to cinemas and multiplexes to open with 50% seating capacity. Educational institutes such as universities, colleges, schools for classes 10-12, coaching/training institutes are allowed to open with effect from February 1 in the state.

Meanwhile, Delhi Metro services on weekends will be resumed as per regular timetable from Saturday in view of the ease in restrictions due to improvement in Covid situation in the city, officials said. Weekend curfew was imposed in Delhi from January 8 onwards, following which services had been curtailed.

Schools will open for class 1012 from February 1 in Rajasthan and for classes 69 from February 10, the government said on Friday in its new COVID guidelines. Students will continue to have the option of online education, it said. Markets, other business establishments in the state, will now be able to stay open till 10 pm, while Sunday’s public discipline curfew has been abolished.

Night curfew imposed in 27 cities in Gujarat to curb the coronavirus pandemic has been extended till February 4, an official said on Friday. The decision to extend the date of the night curfew was taken by Chief Minister Bhupendra Patel during a core committee meeting in Gandhinagar, a release said, adding that though number of new coronavirus cases were declining in Gujarat, 12,131 persons were found infected during the last 24 hours. After a sudden surge in cases, the state government had, on January 21, announced night curfew in 19 cities apart from eight major ones where it was imposed much earlier.

Read all the Latest News, Breaking News and Coronavirus News here.

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Suicide Squad: The 15 Weirdest Members Of All Time

Ever since way back in Rick Flag Sr.’s Squadron S in World War II, the Suicide Squad has always been a group of ragtag rogues that operate in the grey area of morality. This dynamic alone makes for a good read, but it is DC’s deep catalogue of characters to choose from that makes each colorful new line-up of the Squad so much fun.

RELATED: 15 Toughest Suicide Squad Members Of All Time

The point of this list, then, is to document our picks for the oddest, strangest, most ridiculous scoundrels to ever have taken part in the U.S. governments’ most covert agency, Task Force X. From a former resident of Arkham Asylum, to Steve Ditko’s second trippiest character ever, to Grant Morrison himself, we’ve got all of the “Skwad’s” best weirdos!

SHRIKE (II)

A lot of superheroes and villains have strange origin stories, but Shrike’s starts weird and just gets weirder. An ancient alien named Overmaster, who had deemed himself the judge of worlds, arrived on our planet to decide if the human species was worthy to be the Earth’s stewards. To test humanity, he imbues a group of human beings with super powers, designates them his Cadre, and has them fight the Justice League. We’re not sure how any of this was supposed to determine humanity’s worth, but Overmaster created some fun super villains in the process. Shrike was one of them.

Created by Gerry Conway and Chuck Patton, Vanessa Kinsbury was a mentally ill young woman who escaped the facility where she had been committed, when her and Overmaster’s paths crossed. He gave her the powers of flight and a sonic screech similar to that of Black Canary or Marvel’s Banshee. And talk about an “interesting” look, Shrike has Wolverine’s hairdo (but pink), a devil’s tail and she wears what doesn’t amount to much more than a bathing suit, sometimes with fishnets. She joins the team in “Suicide Squad” #24 (1989), and promptly dies on her first mission in “Suicide Squad” #25.

SHRAPNEL

Shrapnel was introduced in “Doom Patrol” during Paul Kupperberg’s run, just before Grant Morrison took over. At the time, Erik Larsen was illustrating the title, so the character definitely has a bit of a ‘90s feel, sort of resembling a metallic version of Marvel’s The Thing. Where it gets strange is that, while it appears he is made of metal, his body is actually a mass of organic fragments that he can control. He can fire these off individually, blow himself apart with concussive force and even grow back lost fragments.

Shrapnel was part of the CIA’s Suicide Squad that was sent to the island nation of Diabloverde to prop up its corrupt ruler, Guedhe, in “Suicide Squad” #63 (1992). He was also part of a second CIA Suicide Squad tasked with capturing the Wiley Wolverman and Sasha Martens version of Hawk & Dove in “Hawk & Dove” #3 (1998). Eventually, he was roped into Waller’s Squad proper, and was given the unenviable job of ambushing Superman in “The Adventures of Superman” #593 (2001).

PLASMUS

Plasmus is a Marv Wolfman and George Perez creation from the early ‘80s. This was the era of nukes, the Three Mile Island accident and Cold War, so of course Plasmus’ origin story includes details of radiation exposure and ex-Nazi experimentation. Plasmus was part of a compact Suicide Squad made up of strictly heavy-hitters, including Chemo and Shrapnel, and lead by powerful telepath Manchester Black. They first appeared as Squad in “Superman: Our Worlds At War Secret Files” #1.

However, it is in “Adventures of Superman” #593 that they lure Superman to an abandoned military facility called Area 8 and jump him. We all know how that turns out — not great. A simple rule of thumb for villains at the this point in DC continuity: Don’t go directly at Supes. Even with a chest full of Kryptonite, like Metallo, it’s probably a bad idea. Even though he was once on the Squad, Plasmus was one of dozens of super villains sent to the distant planet Salvation by Checkmate and Task Force X, which set up the “Salvation Run” mini series.

MINDBOGGLER

While Mindboggler started as a Firestorm rogue, she has spent more time in the pages of “Suicide Squad.” John Ostrander introduced her in his seminal first issue of the title and unceremoniously killed her in “Suicide Squad” #2. But that wasn’t the end of the line for this mind-controlling punk rocker. She may have died at the hands of Rustam, leader of Skwad’s arch-enemies, The Jihad, but the Quraci agency resurrected her in digital form (similar to their former member Djinn), and she returned in “Suicide Squad” #17.

Rick Flag Jr. managed to retrieve the device that held her, but they never managed to bring her back into the fold. Her actual body was reanimated and she returned yet again as one of Koshchei’s zombies in “Suicide Squad #48.” Mindboggler initially gained her powers from Breathtaker of the Assassination Bureau. This is also how fellow assassins Stratos and Incognito got their abilities. All three attempted to fulfil a contract on Firestorm, but ultimately failed.

THE TATTOOED MAN (I)

The first Tattooed Man was Abel Tarrant, a former sailor turned criminal. He used “special paint” to give himself “tattoos” that he could bring to life. To be clear, the “tattoos” were painted on, so they were not done with a tattoo gun or even a needle. This was eventually retconned and it became “magic ink” and actual tattoos, which is less weird… but only very slightly. He joins Task Force X in “Checkmate” #6 (2006), and is killed in the next issue when he is found to be a traitor.

In a 1993 Vertigo mini series titled “Skin Graft: The Adventures of a Tattooed Man,” a jailed Tarrant tattoos a new inmate named John Oakes, who then becomes the second Tattooed Man. Word has it that Common’s character in the “Suicide Squad” movie, Monster T, was supposed to be an interpretation of the third Tattooed Man, Mark Richards. If so, holy wasted opportunity, Batman! How much fun would it have been to see Common’s tats start crawling off of him?

BLACK ORCHID

Black Orchid was a young woman who died and was brought back to life as a plant/human hybrid by a cutting-edge botanist. Just let that sink in for a minute. In her new form, she is super strong, fast, durable and could fly. Yet, her trademark was being a master of disguise. She is revealed to be part of Task Force X in “Suicide Squad” #4 (1987), in which she goes undercover to help take down the vigilante known as William Hell. Orchid has also been in an assemblage of magic’s anti-heroes not dissimilar to the Suicide Squad called the Spirit Squad. This band of magic users is brought together by The Creeper in “Blue Devil Annual” #1.

The New 52 version of this character is part of what is basically the DCnU take on the Spirit Squad, Justice League Dark. She joins this team as an agent of A.R.G.U.S. and is tasked with keeping an eye on John Constantine. Also, Orchid is an important link between The Red and The Green, and was an integral player in the “Rot World” crossover.

LARVANAUT

“Suicide Squad” has long been an excuse for writers to thumb through old DC Who’s Who issues searching for obscure villains that nobody would miss if they happened to fall during a Skwad mission. A number of characters have died in the field secretly working for the US Government, many on their first outing even. However, Larvanaut is different simply because he was created by Keith Giffen and Paco Medina for a single issue. This creature joins a version of Task Force X in “Suicide Squad” #3 (2001), all of whom die on their first mission… except Killer Frost.

All we really know about Larvanaut from his brief DC existence is that he has a heightened sense of smell, he can’t breathe regular air, he tends to walk on all fours, he only has three fingers on each hand, he has a large reptilian tail and his name seems to to be a portmanteau of “larva” and “astronaut.” Pretty damn weird, if you ask us.

CLOCK KING

The Clock King became obsessed with time when he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He turned to crime to try to gather enough money to provide for an invalid sister once he had passed. Turns out his doctor had mixed up patient files and he was not sick at all! Clock King later became a part of Major Disaster’s Injustice League. During this crew’s last ditch attempt at a big score, they accidentally stopped a diamond heist and, with the help of Maxwell Lord, became the Justice League Antarctica.

This team was eventually disbanded, but half of the members (Clock King, Major Disaster, Big Sir and Cluemaster) ended up as a Suicide Squad, headed by Sgt. Rock and Bulldozer of Easy Company. Clock King’s first appearance as a Squadian was in “Suicide Squad” #3 (2001), the same issue in which Larvanaut makes his inauspicious debut. So, if you read the last entry, you already know this was one of those Task Force X missions that put the “suicide” in Suicide Squad.

MISTER 104

John Ostrander used a rotating cast of nearly four dozen characters during his monumental run with the Modern Age Suicide Squad, and Mister 104 was definitely one of the weirder ones. He can turn his body into any element on the Periodic Table, but was introduced when the Periodic Table only had 103 elements (he started as Mister 103). At this point, he would have to be renamed Mister 118.

Like Shrapnel, 104 is a Doom Patrol villain, but he is from a much earlier run — the ’60s, to be precise. He joins up with an iteration of Task Force X that includes other obscure characters like Psi and Weasel in “Doom Patrol and Suicide Squad” #1 (1988). As the title suggests, this Squad teams up with the Doom Patrol to rescue Hawk (of Hawk & Dove) from Sandistas in Nicaragua. Mister 104 dies in a battle with the Rocket Red Brigade, who also show up to snatch Hawk for Russia.

PUNCH & JEWELEE

These guys are like a low budget version of The Joker and Harley Quinn. However, they show up in the comics 25 years before Harley was even dreamed up by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm. Though, to be fair, the Joker was tormenting Batman a long time before that.

These two former Coney Island puppeteers were originally Captain Atom villains, who had found and mastered alien tech. They are the creation of the venerable Steve Ditko and David Kaler. The married jesters were recruited by Amanda Waller in “Suicide Squad” #24 (1989). They left the Squad when the pair became pregnant, but were pulled back in years later to aid a Mirror Master-led team. The New 52 versions of these characters were just recently introduced in “Batman” #9, as part of the “I Am Suicide” arc. Jewelee was mentally ill and locked up in Arkham Asylum, but she and Punch came through for Bats in his assault on Bane. They thus earned some leniency of the rules there thanks to their quirky teamwork.

AMBUSH BUG

Yet another entry that is more than a little off his rocker, Ambush Bug is more of a DC mascot than an actual superhero. He does have an arch-nemesis, but it’s an argyle sock that looks like Doctor Doom named Argh!Yle! If that wasn’t weird enough, Bug is also a proud member of the “fourth wall breakers club,” a-la Deadpool and Lobo, regularly reaching out to the reader and appearing in meta-stories like “Channel 52″ as a roving reporter within the New 52 universe. However, Bug has also managed to be taken seriously, joining elite DC teams such as the Justice League of America, Doom Patrol, and of course, the Suicide Squad.

Bug’s suit granted him invulnerability and the power to teleport. He became a member of a variation of Task Force X that Amanda Waller put together to help fight the Alien Alliance in “Invasion!” #2 (1989). This Squad included Captain Boomerang, Black Orchid, The Duchess, and was lead by veteran member, Nemesis. Fun fact: Ambush Bug was once married to Dumb Bunny of the Inferior Five.

SHADE THE CHANGING MAN

While Shade the Changing Man has “man” right there in his name, he is actually from the planet Meta, making him a Metan and ill-fitting one particular gender. The bridge between Earth and the Meta-Zone is a dimension called the Zero-Zone, which is where Shade met Task Force X, during issue #16 of  “Suicide Squad” (1988). At the time, the Squad accidentally ended up in the nebulous limbo, but luckily, Shade was able to get them back to Earth. After their encounter, Amanda Waller offers to help return him to Meta if he joins up with her team of unbalance villains.

Unlike alien heroes with super powers, like Superman and Martian Manhunter, Shade had the speed and strength of a slightly above-average man of his age, height and build. What gave him powers was his M-Vest, which projected his appearance differently depending on the current mental state of himself or others. The M-Vest also emitted a powerful force field. Shade the Changing Man is the second entry on our list created by the great Steve Ditko.

COL. COMPUTRON

Colonel Computron was the legacy name of two Flash villains, Basil Nurbin and his daughter, Luna Nurbin. While their appearance suggests they were cyborgs of some kind, both are actually just wearing tech armor. Furthermore, this armor is based on the Captain Computron toy produced by the Wiggins Toy Corp. This is the same company that is owned by Captain Boomerang’s father, W.W. Wiggins.

When Col. Computron popped back up as a floating head in “Checkmate” #11, he didn’t even know he was working for Amanda Waller in a hush-hush line up of the Squad. At this point, Waller was the White Queen of Checkmate and was in direct violation of UN statutes by sanctioning Suicide Squad activity of any kind. Yet, with the help of her operatives, she had rigged a Santa Prisca election to avoid a Bane-backed candidate taking power. Rick Flag Jr., Fire and King Faraday were all in league with Waller at this point, but the full cast of this Squad was never revealed.

GRANT MORRISON

Yes, Grant Morrison doesn’t just write superhero comic books, he redefines them… sometimes by entering them, himself. In the last issue of his “Animal Man” run, Buddy Baker manages to make it to our reality and “meet his maker,” as it were. Morrison tells Buddy that he is the author of his life, before resetting everything he had written and wiping the slate clean for the next scribe.

So, it’s kind of awesome that John Ostrander paid tribute to Morrison by bringing a character called The Writer — clearly a visual and thematic homage to Morrison — into his popular “Suicide Squad” run. The character joins up in “Suicide Squad” #58 (1991), along with a bunch of other villains that are recruited to help neutralize sorcerer Circe and her army of werebeasts and Amazons. In that issue, he tells Firehawk and Silver Swan that his portable computer either tells him what is going to happen or he actually writes what is going to happen. Sadly, he dies when he gets writer’s block while a werebeast is coming at him.

JOKER’S DAUGHTER

It doesn’t get much weirder than Duela Dent. The character has been around since the late ‘60s, and has a long and convoluted continuity. Her history is one thing pre-Crisis On Infinite Earths, and another thing entirely post-Crisis. It’s quite different yet again with her New 52 reimagining. The original version of this mentally unstable youngster claimed to be the daughter of almost every villain in Batman’s rogue gallery: The Joker, The Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman and Scarecrow.

However, it is the New 52 Duela we are concerned with for this entry, as that’s the version that joined the ranks of Vic Sage’s Task Force X in “New Suicide Squad” #1 (2014). This iteration of her is deeply troubled and intent on snuffing out anything beautiful. It’s implied she is a former heroin addict and self-mutilator. When she finds The Joker’s cut-off face in the sewers where she dwells, she eats a bit of it and then proceeds to wear the rest. Now, that is #1 spot weird! Fun Fact: The New 52 Duela has one blue eye and one green eye as a homage to Two-Face, who is believed to be her real father for most of her history.

Is there anyone weirder than the Suicide Squad team members on this list? If so, let us know in the comments!

The post Suicide Squad: The 15 Weirdest Members Of All Time appeared first on CBR.com.

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