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#to start the audit. bitch
janaknandini-singh999 · 8 months
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currently thinking about how even the most cruel and cold emperor Aurangzeb got so melted and mesmerized by a Hindu classical dancer mistress that he legit FAINTED on seeing her for the first time in a garden
full story here
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I dont make personal posts but i have to scream to my lil diary of shitposts about the phone call i just received. To my 5 followers who are real, im sorry for the real life update, and to my 1500 porn bots hot damn.
Anywho, i used to work for the dmv in a contractor office and was damn good at my job. I was so good that even tho i have only met one of them before, the local office manager, they all knew my name. Idk whether to be happy or scared even months later bc if it was in a bad way my contract went up in flames, and as the only office able to print car titles on demand besides hq proper, i would have many angry dealers on my hands. I also stole their 2nd best employee to work for me so theres that. I quit my job bc being salary sucks ass when your wage to hours work diddles down to something far below min wage and even a customer looked at me and asked jokingly if i was gonna kms after my shift. So thats fun.
5 months later and yall will not believe, my 8th ranked bestie in the state office just called me on my knees to beg me to work at the local dmv proper in licensing. The noise he made when i asked explicitly if xyz was gone. The squeak. The "im not allowed to name names but how do you know those names and know to blame your problems on them" choke. Apparently everyone who made my life hell is out the door and i feel very hm. The person who nearly sent my old joanns work bestie come bestie bestie is still there but hm. The whole clique has been broken up but now i gotta ask around to make sure. Like god damn. AND HE OFFERED TO BE A REF FOR IF I CHANGE STATES.
Work bestie #8, i am kissing you with tongue
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evansbby · 11 months
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I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE DREAM TELL ME
OKAY SO
I’m gonna say it in the tags cos it’s less embarrassing ajdjsjsjka
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theygender · 2 years
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Working in excel with your only other coworker who also knows how to use excel
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#we're compiling data up in this bitch lads#using formulas and pressing buttons#we're making NUMBERS#rambling#real talk tho it was nice getting to work with her today#i pulled off a really difficult project and it was nice to show it to someone who understood the amount of work that went into it#my spreadsheet was set up all pretty BUT i needed advice on how best to communicate the data i needed over into an email for leadership#and she was able to show me how she puts together HER report on her spreadsheet for leadership#bc shes the only other person who compiles data on a spreadsheet for leadership#she's my 50yo work best friend who has a lot of knowledge about excel from her previous jobs using it in management#so it was nice to get advice from someone who has experience with it instead of having to google everything#my work mom and i are going to revolutionize our department one excel formula at a time 😌#im excited to put the stuff she recommended into place for these audits that im gonna start doing tbh#i volunteered to put these sheets together and compile the data for leadership completely unprompted. just like for fun#both bc it will improve my job by helping leadership take action on the common issues that we're seeing#AND bc autism hungry feed it numbers#im very proud of my work and i feel like narcissus looking at my own reflection every time i open the sheet ahdsjskk#i just got approval to put the spreadsheet together a few weeks ago and i presented my findings in a meeting today#and thats when i put forward the idea of compiling the data to send out to leadership on a monthly basis#and everyone seemed to really like it! and they liked the idea of that#i felt very proud#apparently upper management has actually been asking my supervisor if we have that sort of data#and she was able to tell them 'well ACTUALLY eli just put together a spreadsheet about it take a look'#im getting a good grade in spreadsheet. something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve#and itll probably look good on my resume and stuff but the important part is good grade in spreadsheet
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god i fucking love being right
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kore-arts · 1 month
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DRUMROLL
Me and @aurora-bore-aura have whipped up a Fabulous new au!
Introducing! The Lost Voices!
What happens when you toss in an Ex Hero, his “younger” and Older siblings(read Dani and Dan), His Two Partners, Red Robin on a Year long Vacay with his Partners Bernard and Kon and Ember the Pop Rock Ghost In one Van?
That's Right! Band Au bitches!!!! Well band and food truck au since I hc Bernard as Totes tone deaf.
Ok so
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Danny! He retired, in desperate need of a new Vacation and Hobby.
And surprisingly Ember absolutely went wild when she invited him to ghost karaoke.
So his wail gave him a sirens voice, that's new. Welcome!
Wait. What if he made a Band?
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Turns out Tucker is a Wizard with a soundboard. And Sam plays the Bass and drums nicely.
And for a bit the four played gigs all over the place, a niche band called the Lost Voices. (Sam suggested and that earned a surprising Kiss from Ember. Hey! Poly Band time hehehe)
Sure Tucker pre-recorded the drums. But they All agreed they wanted a bit more. A fresher view.
So! Auditions!
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(Not done Bernard Yet)
Ok so Gay/Bi panic. And oh, the ancients were Tim and Kon good.
Tims voice a holy thing and his drum playing is even better.
And Kon!!! The piano was a surprise but man his fingers moved at a unmatched speed. Ok Danny *knew* they were semi death touched. Eh probably just liminal.
So they are invited! And they play in metropolis for a while and they start booming
Tim and Kon grin seeing a opportunity.
One Band van, one food truck and a Tour set up later? They are officially on the road and on tour for a Year. With Dan Driving and Dani happily along the ride they are set!
Tim did make it clear its a vacation and he would send postcards unless it's monthly call or emergency.
Babs is still laughing because he forgot to mention he is in the band that's rising faster then Canaries old band.
Oh well, time to remind Dick and Bruce to not constantly call.
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Pt1(Here!) Pt2. Pt3. Pt4
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starkwlkr · 3 months
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celebrity skin | cillian murphy
barbenheimer series
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‘Is Hollywood done with Y/n?’
‘Y/n L/n, the girl failure’
That’s what the articles published on their front page. Recently, Y/n had refused to do a big budget film for a legendary director claiming that she wanted to take a break from the world of acting. Her and Cillian were looking to buy a house in Ireland so she was busy looking at listings and calling multiple real estate agents.
The director ended up calling her a bitch over the phone. He had insulted her over and over, stating that she would regret her decision.
After a source told multiple magazines about the situation only the ‘source’ didn’t tell the full story, the media started calling her annoying, selfish, dumb blonde, and the one that stuck the most, a bitch.
Cillian was not having it. Instead of going to his audition for a new series, he stayed home with her. He didn’t want her to be alone, especially at a time where the media and ‘fans’ were turning their backs on her.
“You don’t have to stay with me.” Y/n sighed as she snuggled up to Cillian. They were currently in London since Cillian had gotten an audition for a BBC series. He called the casting director and canceled, which made Y/n mad. Why wouldn’t she be? He had talked about the audition for months and now he canceled?!
“I want to.” He replied, giving her a kiss to the side of her head. “You haven’t eaten anything. I can make you pancakes, I know how much you love breakfast for dinner.”
“I’ll eat in a bit. I think I want to take a nap.” She said.
Cillian had noticed how she’s been taking naps all week. Sometimes she wouldn’t even come out of her room and all she ate was granola bars and orange juice.
“I want you to know that I’m with you every step of the way. Those articles? They’re wrong. Fuck those articles. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you so much.” Cillian admitted.
Y/n could feel a tear roll down her cheek. Sometimes all she wanted to do was run away with Cillian to whatever country and live their lives in a nice house.
“You’re a jerk, you know that. . I wasn’t planning on crying today. But I love you too.” Y/n laughed as Cillian pulled her in for a kiss. “I wish we could leave this place and go to one of those cottage houses in the countryside. That’s always been a dream of mine.”
“That sounds nice. Why don’t you pack your bag and I’ll buy our tickets and we can leave tomorrow.” Cillian said.
“What?” Y/n asked confused.
“I saw you looking at this cottage the other day on your laptop. I bought it two days ago and I payed my mum to buy us some nice furniture and food so by the time we get there it’ll be okay for us to stay there for a while. So go pack and I’ll arrange our flight. You and I are leaving all this behind for the next few days. No work, no fancy dresses or premieres to attend. Just us and our new home.” He explained.
“You’re full of surprises, my love.”
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TIME SKIP
OCTOBER
It had been a few months since Y/n and Cillian left their life in London and stayed in their new cottage in the countryside. She loved it there. No paparazzi or pushy fans to bother her or Cillian. It was paradise for her. Eventually the casting director for Peaky Blinders offered the role of Tommy Shelby to Cillian since last time Cillian was going to audition he had called to cancel. The casting director desperately wanted him to portray the protagonist of the new BBC series.
Y/n encouraged Cillian to take the role. She was fine with staying in their cottage after all she had made new friends with the women that lived nearby. So Cillian flew back to London to film and Y/n stayed behind. She had picked up new hobbies, fixed some stuff that needed fixing like the guest room and even started working on her garden.
Soon, Cillian had finished filming and made it back home to Y/n just in time for her birthday. Even though it was her day, Y/n insisted on making dinner herself. She decided to cook a comfort food of hers, chicken alfredo.
Cillian watched as she set a plate full of pasta and chicken in front of him then placed hers on her placemat. “I should be cooking for you.” Cillian said, grabbing his fork and beginning to eat.
“If the birthday girl wants to cook then let her.” Y/n stated then began to eat. “How was filming? I saw some pictures on twitter of you on set and I have mixed feelings about the haircut.”
“You don’t like it? Be honest. I don’t like it.” Cillian admitted.
“Well it took some time to get used to it, but I kind of like it now. I don’t know, you look hot either way.” Y/n smirked.
“Then I guess I’ll have to thank the hair department.”
Soon, both plates of food were forgotten as the two lovers made their way to their bedroom, pieces of clothing scattered around. It had been months and both Cillian and Y/n were counting down the days until they say each other again. Months without a single kiss or the feeling of skin on skin. What a way to end your birthday . . .
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TAGLIST
@leclercloml @butterfly-skinnylegend @rockerchick05 @agustdpeach @celesteblack08 @probablypossesedbysatan @kittyrumbl3r @electrobutterfly @knpgituloh @butlersluvbot @captainwans @bellstwd @theekyliepage @marti-su @multifans-things @ceruleanrainblues @litterallnobody @jackierose902109 @sinarainbows @cosniffee @thatgirlthatreadswattpad
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hotvintagepoll · 2 months
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Propaganda
Tura Satana (Faster, Pussycat! Kill, Kill!)—i noticed you didn't have any tura satana propaganda so i wanted to take the chance to tell you about the baddest bitch to ever live. she was a japanese american; she spent time at an internment camp as a kid (yayy fuck the USA). i won't go into the details because it's a lot but after an assault as a kid where no justice was served she learned martial arts and spent the next 15 years tracking down her attackers, kicking their asses and serving justice herself. she got into burlesque and then met, of all people, HAROLD FUCKING LLOYD who started photographing her and gave her THE CONFIDENCE TO GO INTO MOVIES??? sorry the image of mr. safety last kickstarting sexploitation star satana's career just sends me to heaven. anyway, she got into movies, knocked her audition for faster pussycat kill kill out of the park, fundamentally shaped the movie, then did a couple scifi movies before getting shot and transferring into nursing as a career (god. what i would give to have her be the one giving me my T.) an icon a legend in my eyes
Anouk Aimée (La Dolce Vita, Lola)—I went to look at pictures of Anouk Aimée to inspire me to write some propaganda, but then I got too distracted by how pretty she was, forgot what I was doing and just kept on looking at more pictures with no thoughts going through my mind except "wow....women beautiful.." But I will say that Anouk Aimée is one of the most stunning actresses I've ever seen. I mean, her eyebrows, her nose, her charming smile, her cheekbones... I'm sorry I got distracted looking at pictures of her again. Anyway, she's so pretty and captivating on screen!!!! Vote for her!!!!!!
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
Tura Satana:
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Anouk Aimée:
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Linked gifset
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Orbiting: pt.2°
[icehockey!jungkook x figureskater!reader; enter figureskater!jimin] [2.3k+ idiot fwb to lovers; mutual pining, both has the libido of a teenage boy; this one's for the plot! but also i know very little about the technicalities of figure skating so please be kind; tysm for the love on Orbiting]
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Nothing beats the feeling of being on the ice, you think.
Well, second to Jungkook’s bed, the rink is where you feel most euphoric. As you glide in circles and spin in the air, the wind in your hair makes you feel weightless, almost trouble-free.
“I think I’m ready,” you skate closer to the stands where your coach sits. Eagle eyes follow your form, yet her face remains stoic, “Let me try a triple axel.” With that, her brows crease. “Absolutely not,” she answers with finality.
Stubbornly, you prod, “Coach, plea—”
“We’re not risking another injury when you’ve barely healed.” At this, you scoff, “But I’m fine now. I’ve been landing double axels for months, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but still poorly,” your coach reasons as she looks at you. And you hate it. You hate how she looks at you with pity, making you feel incapable.
Brushing off your insecurity, you muster up the sliver of confidence and hope you have left. “You’re lying,” you start. “I’ve seen my form and rewatched my routines after every practice. I’ve gotten better.” You're trying not to let your emotion swallow you whole, you push your point, “You also said so yourself: I’ve been better compared to three months ago.”
You don’t realize how shaky and loud your voice had gotten with every word. Even you, yourself, sounded unsure of your recovery by the time you finished.
“Y/N—”
You know that tone. Your throat and heart constrict, “No. You promised—” but your plea is interrupted by the echo of the door banging, followed by footsteps until someone comes into view.
“Ah, Jimin. Finally!” Your coach ushers him to come closer to where you’re at a standstill with her. You’re a ticking time bomb, that at least you know. The last thing you should be around is people, so you skate away.
- “Your reputation precedes you, L/N.”
Stopping mid-stretch, you turn your head to where you hear the voice. It’s Jimin. He smirked as he approached you, skates hung on his shoulder.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He sits beside you on the bleachers, plush lips tightening to form another smirk. In a different mood, you may have gushed at how full his lips are, but right now, you’re irked at how his hands take their time in lacing his skates.
“Don’t worry.” He’s facing you now and his hands flick softly to brush his parted bangs away from his face. “All I’ve heard about are good things. At least, to me.”
Your eyebrows crease. He winks, then skates away from the bleachers. You parrot your previous question, now skating after him.
“My friends said you were a stubborn one,” his voice loud enough for you to hear. Jimin slows down and lets you catch up to him. Now skating beside him, matching his stride, you ask, “And that’s a good thing because?”
“I like headstrong girls. It just means you’re determined, too. But I want to see for myself how determined you can be, Y/N.”
Jimin swerves, now skating backward, facing you. You almost crash into him, but he holds your arm, guiding you back into pace.
“Careful. If we’re going to be partners, I need to know you can keep up with me,” he teases, and it works because you’re riled up.
Of course, Jimin heard a lot about you. A couple of his friends auditioned to be your pair, but they all came home after a few weeks with rants about the ‘ice princess.’ No one would deny how pretty and talented you were, but those admirable qualities were overshadowed by how much of a ‘bitch you can be on the ice’ as his friends would describe it. He has also heard people go as far as saying how much your accident was a well-deserved one because you needed to be knocked down a peg.
He drew the line there.
Your frustration turned irritation now directed towards his smug ass. “You’re the one who’s trying out,” you bark as you pull your arms from his hand. “Nuh-uh, this goes both ways,” Jimin insists, a smile still plastered on his face.
“Fine. Let’s do a routine,” you give in. “But I take the lead. Keep up, Park.”
Not giving him the chance to disagree, you skate to the middle of the rink. Starting with a three-turn. You monitor Jimin on your peripheral vision, then, you proceed to do a salchow jump followed by loops.
- “Fuck,” you pant. Heat is running through your body, and with Jimin beside you exuding the same warmth, you feel even more hot despite being surrounded by ice. You can’t deny that running routines with Jimin was the most fun since your coach have been holding auditions for the past month.
“So…” Jimin starts, his green sweater seeming darker as it dampens with sweat. “Am I good enough to be your partner, Y/N?”
You laugh, “I could ask you the same thing.” Your frustration from earlier dissipated. “But yeah, you’re not bad, Park. Skills are mildly better than the previous three skaters we’ve had combined.”
Jimin scoffs. “Gee, thanks. Unfortunately, I need you to do one more thing for me before I settle on a verdict,” he challenges.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Do a double axel for me.” At this, your smile falters. “Unless, of course, you’ve grown rusty. If you ask me, those routines were safe,” he goads.
You hate this. You hate how he gets under your skin so easily despite having just met him. But you stand, and Jimin follows, dusting scraped ice off his pants. “I’ll go first,” he starts as he skates away for space. With bated breath and hope that he trips, you watch him glide around for a while, then launch to a smooth double axle.
Jimin chuckles, hands combing through his hair once again. “Your turn, L/N.”
You skate in circles, orbiting Jimin. You can do this, you think. You’ve been landing double axels for months now. Despite this, your nerves shake. But you’ll be damned if you get outperformed by Jimin. You ready your form as you take a deep breath.
It’s now or never.
In a millisecond, you’re in the air, and as you land your feet on the ice, you wobble until your body hits the ice. You yelp in pain, hands quick to clutch your ankle.
“Shit!” Jimin rushes to you. Eyes wide, frantically searching for your coach.
- Propped on the bed, you chew on jello as your coach chews your and Jimin’s ear off.
“What the fuck were you guys thinking? I left you guys to get acquainted, not compete,” she whisper-yells. You and Jimin exchange a look. His eyes are shy and guilty.
“Y/N, I told you to be careful.”
“I was,” you nod, scooping a mouthful of jello. Another tirade was ready to leave your coach’s mouth when the door to your hospital room opens.
“Y/N,” Jungkook barges in. Eyes focused on yours as he walks to your side. Your coach sighs, “Jungkook, talk some sense into her, will you?” She pleads before leaving your room.
On the other side of your bed, Jimin clears his throat and introduces himself, his arms outstretched for a handshake. Jungkook ignores it; eyes still on you, but his words are clearly directed at Jimin, “You can leave us now.”
Nothing is said further, and Jungkook sits on your bed. Jimin stands in disbelief.
“It’s fine, Jimin,” you break the awkward tension, “I’ll see you next practice.”
Jimin nods at you, “Right. Get well soon. I’ll visit you tomorrow.”
Jungkook’s head finally whips to face Jimin. “There’s no need for that,” he speaks with finality, staring him down. Jimin scoffs, but after a second, he relents, nods at you for a goodbye, then leaves the room.
As soon as the door closes, Jungkook's voice booms, “What the fuck were you thinking?”
You roll your eyes and end his incoming scolding before he can even start with a raise of your hand.
“You really are your mom’s son, huh? She said those exact words earlier,” you chuckle.
“Don't laugh. Nothing’s funny about this. You’re hurt, Y/N. This could have been really serious.”
You sigh, “I know. And I was scared, okay? But the doctor said it’s just a mild sprain. Nothing too serious, and give it a few weeks rest, and I’m good as new.”
Your hands reach out to straighten his furrowed brows. “You’ll get wrinkles if you keep scowling.” Jungkook pulls your hand away from his face, and for a while, you think you’ve really pissed him off. But in the same breath, he pulls your hand to his lips. “I got so fucking scared when my mom called me. I rushed here and I was even in the middle of eating.”
You snort out a laugh, and your other hand reaches the half-eaten jello and offer it to him.
“No, thanks,” he groans in disgust. “I think I’ve had my fill of jellos during your last stay here.” Cue another eye roll from you, “You’re so dramatic.” Jungkook laughs and just stares at you. There goes your heart again, doing somersaults, and you think you’re growing hot by the second he stares you down.
You clear your throat, “Well, there’s a vending machine at the corner, I think.”
Jungkook nods then stands, and you think he’s heading to buy snacks when he locks the door.
“I think I prefer the snack already here, though.”
And there’s the Jungkook, you know. While you’d rather twist your other ankle than admit that sleazy line worked on you, the fact that you’re in a hospital isn’t lost on you.
“You can’t be serious, Jungkook.”
“Oh, but I am,” he grins. Hands trailing on your legs, but he remains mindful of your sprained ankle.
“I’ll be careful, babe.”
It’s shameless how you’re already breathless. His name leaves your lips in lust-filled whispers. Pants discarded on the side of your bed, Jungkook salivates at seeing the wet patch on your underwear.
Giving in to his primal desire, he moves the cloth aside and licks at your pussy.
“Gguk,” you moan. “Not much time. Just fuck me already.”
His head shakes, and you feel his tongue move inside you. “I haven’t had my fill yet.” His thumb plays with your clit as he eases two of his fingers inside you. Your back arches, moans stuck in your throat and you remind yourself you’re in public, albeit inside closed doors, you know how thin these walls are.
Jungkook hums, and you look down at him. The sight has you gushing, and your bent knees buckle. He’s rutting himself on the bed as his tongue and fingers play with you.
“Jungkook,” you call his name with a moan. He looks up, but his fingers continue to go in and out of your pussy. Your expressions match each other—eyes lidded with lust and mouth open in silent moans and groans.
“Fuck me. Now.” Giving your pussy one last suck, Jungkook finally listens to you. The bed creaks as he kneels to unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down to his thighs.
You open your legs wider. “You really are my dream girl,” he grunts. “Will you take off your shirt for me, babe, please.”
You hum, watching him stroke himself as he waits for you to pull your shirt over your head. “I will if you will.”
In record time, Jungkook has his shirt scattered on the hospital floor. Scooting closer to you, Jungkook remains mindful of your foot. But it isn’t long until he rubs his tip to your clit.
“Say please.”
“Please, Jungkook.”
Satisfied at your whiny voice, he pushes his dick inside you. You both moan before Jungkook realizes where you are. And so he kisses you, mouth catching your moans. His hands move from your hips to your chest. Both of his hands full with your tits, fingers pulling playfully with your nipples. You wrap your good leg around his hips, foot pushing his ass closer to you.
Mouths parting for a breather, you lean back. It’s a filthy view, but the noises you make are extremely lewd. You now hear the metal creaking and your pussy squelching each time Jungkook thrusts inside you.
“Baby,” Jungkook whispers from your neck. “Don’t scare me like that ever again.” You would have sensed how earnest he was if you weren’t too lost in your pleasure. But you hum and tangle your hand with his hair, as you pull him for a kiss. His thrusts are now deeper and harder. “Cum for me, babe.” Your body at his beck and call, you cum. Milking your orgasm, Jungkook continues to pound your pussy.
“Mm, sensitive,” you whine.
“One more, baby,” Jungkook asserts with his hands going down to rub circles on your clit. You’re delirious. “One more for me,” he grunts as he thrusts, “With me.”
You can feel another orgasm slowly approaching, and you know Jungkook’s about to reach his high, too. You open your eyes and find him already looking at you. Your pupils are blown wide with lust, and in that shared moment, you knew.
You come together with breathy moans.
- Jungkook lays on top of you, his body keeping you warm. “You’re coming home with me.”
You hum, “Have mercy on my pussy, Jeon. I don’t think I can even walk out of here, and it’s not because of my sprained foot.”
He raises his head from your chest, thumb circling your side boob. “I didn’t mean for another round, Y/N. Get your head out of the gutter,” he teases.
Your brows furrowed in confusion.
“You have a foot injury. You need someone to take care of you.”
Cue your heart somersaults.
At your silence, Jungkook thinks he said something wrong, so he tries to lay out a more acceptable reason for having you in his home, “I think my mom would also prefer that she watches over you as you recover. Can’t have you attempting to skate with an injury.” At that, you lightly smack his head. “I’m not that stupid, Jeon,” you scoff.
“Right,” he laughs and lays his head back to your chest. He leaves a kiss on your sternum and you struggle to breathe as you try to calm your heart on haywire.
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chrollohearttags · 11 months
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foot locker manager!sukuna x executive black!fem reader
content warning: banter, reader is kind of bougie, sexual tension, finger sucking, oral/fingering, hate fucking, panty stuffing, throat training, cumshot, pet names (miss, sweetheart, baby), Sukuna has an accent (he gives me Houston idc 😫)
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sukuna, who had been working within the mall for a few years now, had worked his way up to manager of the Foot Locker within it.
sukuna, who never took life too seriously, applied the same approach to his leadership style. His store was by far the most fun in the district. Always blasting music..bumping everything from Moneybagg to DMX (and trust, he knew every word).
everybody wanted to shop at his location. The men saw him as their homeboy; talking about basketball and women as he helped them find the perfect pair shoes to compliment their fit. And the ladies because the handsome, hilarious manager makes them smile. Greeting them with a ‘miss’ or calling them ‘gorgeous’. Smooth and fast talking, laying the charm on thick.
helping single moms find their babies the perfect shoes or the kid going to state championships the perfect basketball sneaker.
“Little man starts second grade this year. We gotta have him looking right.” “You’re going to state this year, bruh. Can’t be playing on worn out shoes. Trust me, did that and almost threw the whole tournament for us. I’ll use my discount, don’t even worry about it, lil bro.”
sukuna, who was always laced; Diamond stud earrings, a gold watch, matching necklace and the latest sneakers. Tattoos littering his muscular forearms and chest. Not to mention his signature Dior scent. Looking good and smelling even better. Any girl that he had come in contact with instantly folded at the slightest bit of flirtation. All the Sephora and Victoria’s Secret Workers were in love.
“Good morning, ladies.” “Girl, that’s Ryo I was telling you about. He fine ain’t he?”
every woman except the newest regional manager, (y/n) (l/n). Who was notorious for your no nonsense attitude and authoritative style was shocked to see how he ran his store and even more so how he greeted you as if you weren’t his boss.
“How we doing, miss? Can I help you find sum’?” “Yes, the manager. Ryomen Sukuna? Is he the one who runs this location?” “You’re in luck, baby. You’re looking at him.”
sukuna, who carried on with business as usual, watched you give glances and eye tolls as you jotted down notes on your clipboard. Strutting around in that short pencil skirt, tight shirt and tall heels. Wet and wavy flowing down your back and face done up. He hadn’t seen a bitch as bad as you in a long time, if ever.
sukuna, who couldn’t help but to stare and ogle as you followed him around the store. Completely puzzled by how someone so fine could be so damn mean..listening to you spout off orders about how this shelf should be organized and how that display was against regulation. And especially how the music was distasteful.
“No disrespect, miss. But I run this store so let me do my job and stay out of the way. I do the best numbers in the district every month, I don’t see the problem.” “You won’t be for long if I have anything to do with it. This is a business, Mr. Sukuna. Not a nightclub.”
the week went on with you monitoring the store and making notations for final review. And after almost seven days together, you were at odds and each others throats.
(Y/N), who was taking notes and auditing in the office during closing when you were interrupted by an irate Ryomen.
“Yes, Mr. Sukuna. Can I help you?”
sukuna, who had spent years building a repertoire with his customers, was upset that a lot of loyal buyers refused to come back until the ‘mean bitch’ was gone.
“You’re ruining my store, that’s what! When the hell are you leaving?” “Correction, I’m fixing this mess and you better be grateful because corporate is two seconds from getting your ass out of here.”
the two of you got into a bit of a quarrel, resulting in rising tensions..in more ways than one!
sukuna, who had you cornered against the desk couldn’t help but to laugh at the stark difference in your height. Especially when you began to rant and rave about how unprofessional he was.
sukuna, who had seen your type before and knew exactly what you needed to quell that horrible temper, ran a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head up mid sentence. Causing you to stutter over your words and become flustered.
“Why don’t we stop all of this fighting and settle it then? Tell the truth..you don’t really want me fired, do you?”
sukuna, who puts that charm to good use by mumbling into the crook of your neck..moving his hands up your body and smirking against your ear. Seeing as clear as day how much you liked it.
“What are you trying to do, bribe me?” “Bribing only works if I want something out of it. I’m just tryna’ make you feel good, sweetheart.”
sukuna, pulling you into a deep kiss, shoves his fingers into your panties and works you around on the tip of his digits as the two of you make out. Making certain that the door was bolted and the store was empty so that no one could disturb him or what he was about to do.
sukana, who had you exactly where he wanted, sets you atop his desk, pulling your skirt down and panties to the side. Only after you got him out of his shirt; admiring that sexy body and countless tattoos..along with the third leg he was hiding behind his work pants. Playing with it as he kneels down to devour your pussy. Working his thick fingers around in that juicy cunt, lapping up juices and letting them dribble down his tongue.
“Oh fuck…”
sukuna, who lets you suck his fingers clean as he slides inside of you, starting off with slow thrusts because he knew you couldn’t take it all at once. Watching it press into your skin.
sukuna, who had a week’s worth of tension and lust built up took out every bit of his frustration on you..pounding your shit into oblivion.
“Ah shit! Right there, Ryo..fuck that pussy. Take it!” “That’s it..that’s why you need, baby. That lil’ attitude fucked out of you. Some of that good dick, isn’t that right?”
sukuna, amazed by how creamy you got for him only a couple strokes in couldn’t restrain himself or his strokes. Making you tug your own panties between your teeth and bite down to withstand it as he folded your legs up.
sukuna, who had enough of your bitching, decided to put you on your knees and fuck your throat. “Much better use for that pretty mouth, don’t you think?”
making you touch his abs with his forehead by the time he finished.
sukuna, unable to hold back, painted your face and titties with a warm stream of nut, releasing loud groans with it..really loving when you proudly put it on display with your tongue out and a smile.
sukuna, who kisses you after filling your mouth up, knows that he doesn’t have to worry about losing his job or you after this. Knowing you’ll keep the dirty little secret as long as you can come back for another ‘inspection’..anytime you’d like.
627 notes · View notes
tinyundercover · 2 months
Text
pepper & felix
part four
Felix has a lot on his mind. word count: 3.2k
“Hey, Felix, are you even listening?”
A hand waved in front of Felix’s face, jerking him back to reality. 
His three friends stared at him, the four of them seated in a booth of a local restaurant. Felix blinked several times, momentarily shoving away the uncomfortable memory of a tiny heartbeat thudding against his finger.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I just zoned out for a sec.” He forced himself to laugh, beginning to pick absentmindedly at his food. The cozy setting of the restaurant helped to ease his stress somewhat, but his stomach still continued to squirm.
His friend that had addressed him— Alice— just snickered and said, “Honestly, Felix, you’ve been acting so weird lately.” Her dark eyelashes fluttered in amusement, peering at him from across the booth.
To Felix’s left, Breanna nodded, a finger twirling one of her long dark braids. “Yeah. What’s going on with you?”
As three pairs of eyes stared at him, Felix chewed his lip. “Um…”
He hadn’t told anyone about Pepper, aside from his soulmate, who had seemed to be just as shocked as he was to learn about the existence of tiny men living in the walls. His soulmate was actually the one to suggest that Felix keep his discovery a secret. 
As much as he longed to tell his friends about that crazy incident three days ago, he didn’t want to sound completely insane. Honestly, he was wondering if he had imagined the whole thing.
“He’s probably just worried about The Little Mermaid auditions,” Owen suggested, giving Felix a toothy smile from across the table. “He really wants to be Prince Eric.” He raised his voice in a mocking royal tone, lifting a finger.
(Owen didn’t do theater, unlike Felix, Alice, and Breanna. He just liked hanging out with them.) 
Felix exhaled. “Yeah, that’s exactly it,” he lied, grateful to have an excuse for his distant behavior. “I’m super nervous. I’d really like to get a lead.”
“Same,” Breanna and Alice said in unison. 
“I’ve been practicing, like, every day,” Breanna admitted, resting her chin in her palm. “I think I’m gonna go for Ursula.”
The three others voiced their approval. Alice then began to rant about “that bitch in Music II that just wants to be Ariel so bad” and Felix took the opportunity to zone out again, thinking about a tiny man sprinting across his counter, holding a piece of spinach. 
He frowned suddenly. Had Pepper been stealing the spinach for food? Had Felix interrupted him and forced him to go hungry? Was he okay?
“Felix,” Alice said, turning towards him so quickly that her silky black hair audibly whipped. “You are literally staring at the wall.”
“Oh, uh—“ Felix blinked several times, face going pink. “Sorry. Ugh. Just thinking.”
His friends laughed, and Felix ran his hands anxiously through his blonde hair, trying to ground himself in reality. 
“Hey— what audition song are you using?” Breanna asked, her brown eyes dark and kind as they searched Felix’s face. Felix appreciated her immensely; she never made fun of him and always seemed to notice when he was uneasy.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Felix murmured, glancing at her. “Something from Beauty and the Beast, maybe. I dunno.”
“I’m using Beauty and the Beast, too,” Alice chirped. “My soulmate actually suggested it.”
That caught Felix’s attention. “Wait— you’re talking to your soulmate, now, too?”
Alice’s eyebrows raised, and she sighed dramatically. “Dude, I just said that, like, ten minutes ago. Have you really not been listening this whole time?” Breanna and Owen nodded.
He flushed. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry. Um— when did you start talking? Tell me again.”
Alice, of course, was thrilled to tell the same story twice. She immediately leaned closer, as if she was telling the three of them a secret. “He turned twenty-one yesterday,” she explained, lips twitching into a smile, “and we literally talked all night. He’s so sweet, and smart, and funny. Like, it was love at first sight.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just how soulmates work,” Owen teased. Alice gently punched him.
“Shut up. Anyways, I just knew he was the one for me the second I heard his voice.”
Felix offered a smile, but her words sent an uncomfortable feeling into his stomach.
“You’ve been talking to your soulmate too— right, Felix?” Alice continued, tilting her head. “How’s that going?”
Ugh. Felix stalled by taking a sip of his water, then cleared his throat. “He seems a little shy,” he admitted. “I… I don’t really understand him yet, I guess.”
“What do you mean?” Breanna asked curiously.
Felix chewed his lip, thinking. “Um… I mean, I like him. He seems nice. But sometimes he’ll just cut our conversations off without any warning. And he never really talks about himself? He just asks me questions, mainly.”
He rested his chin on his hands, dropping his gaze. “We also haven’t really talked in a few days,” he mumbled. “We just… had a weird conversation, and he stopped reaching out.”
“I’ve heard of this happening,” Owen said thoughtfully, running his fingers through his red hair. “It’s actually pretty common to not get along with your soulmate right away. My older brother hated his soulmate for a few months before they actually got to know each other.”
“That’s comforting,” Felix said darkly.
“I’m sure you’ll work things out,” Breanna offered, and Alice nodded supportingly. “It just takes time.”
“Yeah,” Felix agreed, although his mind was starting to drift again. “I’m sure.”
Felix felt self-conscious.
His gaze wandered around the walls of his apartment. He was currently sitting on the floor, legs crossed underneath him, and quietly singing along to a song playing from his laptop. This was normal for him, typically. When an audition or a performance was coming around, he spent a lot of his time sitting in his apartment, practicing. 
However— the knowledge that someone could be sitting in the walls, watching him right now, made him incredibly uneasy.
He hadn’t seen any sign of Pepper in the last three days, and he hoped that he hadn’t scared the little guy off permanently. Pepper had seemed absolutely terrified after their encounter.
His stomach twisted in regret, and his voice wobbled. If he could go back in time, he would change how he had treated Pepper in a heartbeat. Thinking of that tear-filled gray gaze staring up at him from beneath a cup just made him want to throw up.
God, I was such an asshole. He closed his eyes, steadying his breathing for a moment. When he held Pepper, he could feel his kicks and punches and struggles, but he had barely even acknowledged it. He had an entire person in his hand and he had completely ignored their fear.
Felix felt sick.
The song ended, but he had stopped singing along a few minutes ago. He leaned back dejectedly against the seat of the couch.
“You sound pretty.”
Felix nearly jumped out of his skin. He sat up straight, immediately freezing.
There, at the base of a bookshelf, was Pepper. Down on the floor, only a few feet away from Felix, Pepper seemed smaller than ever. He wore a tiny blue jacket that somehow seemed baggy on him, his sleeved arms folded in front of his small chest. A pair of tiny gray eyes were locked on Felix.
Felix was immediately hit with an onslaught of emotions; he was relieved to see Pepper again, but his heart was already thudding with guilt, remembering how easily he had trapped such a tiny being against his will. He felt incredibly uncomfortable to see Pepper standing on the floor, his neck craning to look up at Felix, who was also sitting on the floor. 
“I said you sound pretty,” Pepper repeated. Despite his casual demeanor, there was a significant caution in the way he lingered by the wall, as if he was ready to bolt at any moment.
Felix blinked, muscles tense. “Oh– thank you. I, um… I didn’t know you were listening.” He held his breath, as if Pepper might bolt at the drop of a pin. 
Those tiny shoulders shrugged. “I just overheard you, and I figured I’d stop by.” After a moment, he added, “Besides, I wanted to come and thank you.”
Felix did a double take. “Wait, what?”
“For letting me go,” Pepper explained, as if this was a normal Tuesday for him. “And you didn’t kill me or keep me, which is pretty typical for humans. And you didn’t go searching for me afterwards, even though it’s been three days. So… thanks for all that.”
Felix’s heart sank, while an uneasy feeling itched at his skin. Is that really what Pepper had expected from him? Being killed, or tormented? The thought of hurting Pepper any more than he already did made him feel sick to his stomach. He couldn’t explain why, but he needed Pepper to understand that he wasn’t any of those things he had described. 
“Pepper…” His voice was hollow. He leaned forward, heart twisting at the sight of Pepper taking a small step back. “Pepper, you don’t need to thank me. I should be apologizing. You didn’t deserve to be grabbed, or– or trapped like that. I’m sorry. I really, really am.”
The borrower frowned for a moment, inquisitive. Then, quietly, “You just did what any human would do.”
Felix’s stomach turned. “That doesn’t make it okay. I still could have hurt you.”
Pepper remained suspiciously quiet, and Felix’s heart pounded. “Did… Did I hurt you?”
“Just a couple bruises,” Pepper said with a shrug, picking at the hem of his blue jacket. “It wasn’t that bad though. Nothing broken, or anything.”
Fuck.
Felix’s stomach was suddenly filled with ice. “Shit… I’m so fucking sorry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I swear.” His blue gaze worriedly scanned Pepper’s small form, as if he could magically see the finger-shaped bruises underneath his clothes. “Can— can I make it up to you, somehow? Please?”
Standing on the floor, Pepper seemed even smaller. He was barely over three inches tall, and Felix had acted so carelessly that he had bruised him. What had he been thinking?
“It’s okay, really,” Pepper said, seeming a little wary. “I get bruised all the time. It’s not new to me.”
“No, no. Can I make you something to eat, maybe? As an apology?”
The small man hesitated, wide gray eyes darting around the room. “You don’t have to do that.” As if on cue, the rumbling of his tiny stomach filled the air. Pepper’s tan face immediately flushed, and Felix tilted his head sympathetically.
“Here… let me go make a quick salad. It’ll take five minutes. Wait here.” Pepper had tried to take a piece of spinach a few days ago, so Felix figured a salad would be a good peace offering for all the trouble he had caused. 
Before Pepper could refuse, Felix swiftly pulled himself to his feet. He immediately felt uneasy, looking down at the three-inch-tall boy from his height of nearly six feet, and took a calculated step back.
Pepper hadn’t moved, but his posture was significantly more rigid than it was before, staring up at the human. Considering the circumstances, Felix was grateful that he hadn’t instantly scurried off into the walls, and he murmured, “I’ll be right back.”
As he crossed the room into the kitchen, he tried to imagine that he was three inches tall, looking up at a man the size of a skyscraper. He shuddered, uneasy at the thought, and decided that Pepper must be a lot braver than he gave him credit for. The small man had actually approached Felix willingly, after all.
He stood aimlessly in the kitchen for a few seconds before rummaging through his fridge. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a week, and a lot of his produce was getting old. He’ll have to make do with what he had.
After a minute or two of dicing a cucumber into microscopic pieces, Felix spared a glance to his right, and stiffened.
It took him a moment to register what he was seeing. A small silver hook was latched onto the edge of the counter, and climbing up the thread it was attached to was Pepper. 
The small man was about three quarters of the way up, not even looking in Felix’s direction. The human blinked several times, entranced by Pepper’s quick movements. Pepper had pulled his sleeves up to cover his hands as he climbed, a clever way to avoid ropeburn. 
Deciding not to say anything, Felix turned back to the cutting board in front of him, carefully sectioning off an ounce of diced cucumber. He was halfway through chopping up some spinach when he glanced over again, only to see Pepper seated patiently on the countertop, raveling up his thread into small circles.
Felix gently cleared his throat. “That was impressive.”
Pepper tilted his head in Felix’s direction. It wasn’t any easier to read his expressions, even now that he was higher up. “Thanks.”
“Where’d you get that hook from?” Felix asked politely, absentmindedly searching for some sort of small plate or bowl he could give to a person the size of his finger.
“My sister,” Pepper explained hesitantly. “It’s an old fishing hook, I think. She got it for me when we were kids.”
Felix’s eyebrow raised, and he immediately had a thousand more questions. Pepper had a family, then? What was his childhood like? Did Pepper’s sister live here, too? 
“What’s her name?” Felix finally asked, figuring that was a safe enough question to not frighten him off.
To his surprise, Pepper actually frowned, tightening his tiny grip on his hook. “It’s not really my place to say,” he said finally, voice cautious but firm. “Humans aren’t supposed to know anything about us, even our names.”
You told me your name, Felix wanted to say, but he decided against it. He glanced over as Pepper spoke up again.
“Have you… told anyone about me?” Pepper spoke as if he was trying to be casual, but Felix could sense a tenseness in the small man’s shoulders. The human blinked.
“No… not really,” Felix said softly. “I only told my soulmate. I’m sorry. But to be fair, I don’t think he believed me.”
Pepper’s face was unreadable, so Felix added, “Um, do you know what soulmates are?”
After a long moment, the borrower finally said, “I’ve… heard of them.”
Felix nodded, scraping a blend of diced veggies onto the corner of a napkin. “Humans have a telepathic connection with their soulmate,” he explained. “So I was able to tell my soulmate that I met you. But he acted kind of weird about it, and we haven’t really talked since, so… he probably just thinks I’m crazy now, I guess. You’re in the clear.”
“Huh,” Pepper said. “That’s interesting.”
Felix turned towards Pepper, the napkin laying flat in his hand. As he approached, it was hard not to stare at Pepper, in awe of just how small he was. The counter looked gigantic compared to him. 
He set the napkin down a few inches away, hyper aware that this is the closest he’s been to Pepper since their last encounter. The small man visibly flinched as his hand approached, and Felix desperately wanted him to understand that he would never grab him like that again.
“Here,” Felix offered. “It’s spinach, cucumber, lettuce and some carrots. I didn’t add any dressing, cause I wasn’t sure what you like. And— I’m sorry— I don’t have any silverware that you could use. Um, but I hope you like it.”
Pepper, for the first time, actually sent him a small smile. “Thank you.” He swiftly approached the napkin, peering down at it momentarily with his small hands planted on his hips. After a moment of examination, Pepper picked up a piece of cucumber and tentatively nibbled at it. 
Felix hovered nearby, his mind racing with a thousand questions. He still had no idea what Pepper even was, or why he had been lingering around his apartment. Did he live nearby?
“So…” Felix avoided looking at Pepper, busying himself by scraping the rest of his salad mix into a tupperware container. “I know you said humans aren’t supposed to know about you, but… I can’t lie, I’m really curious about you.”
Gray eyes peered up at him, hesitant. 
Felix met his gaze briefly. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” he assured. “But… but what exactly are you? Why can’t humans know about you?”
He tried to keep his voice light, respectful. In the corner of his eye, Pepper sat down, crossing his legs underneath him. Felix hoped that meant he was comfortable.
“Uh…” Pepper placed the cucumber piece back down on the napkin. “Well, we try to stay out of sight, for our safety. The world just… isn’t built for us.” He gestured vaguely to the kitchen, and Felix agreed that he looked very out of place on the massive counter. “If humans knew about us, we would probably be seen as— as pests, or something, so that’s why we try not to bother anyone.”
Felix’s eyebrows raised. “That’s messed up,” he said worriedly. “You all live in hiding because of humans? That’s… awful.”
He hated the idea that Pepper had at one point believed that Felix would hurt him, just because he was smaller. Did he still believe that? 
“It’s not so bad,” Pepper reasoned, shrugging. “I mean, I’ve lived like this my whole life. And it’s not like we want to be interacting with humans, anyways. Humans are dangerous, whether they try to be or not.”
Felix stayed quiet, uneasy. Pepper continued hesitantly. “So… thank you, for keeping our secret. It means a lot more than you’d think.”
The human blinked, glancing over at the small man. Earnestly shone behind Pepper’s gray eyes.
“Of course,” Felix assured. “I’ll never tell anyone about you, I promise.”
Pepper opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but decided against it. Felix glanced over, watching as the small man leaned over the remains of his little salad and began to rip the napkin into a smaller piece.
After a minute, Pepper straightened up, and Felix realized what he had done. The napkin had been tied up into a little bundle, the salad nestled securely inside. “I’ll take this home with me,” Pepper said, genuinely grateful. “Thank you so much.”
He really did seem to have a lot of experience with this kind of life. Crafty, clever, and resourceful. Felix nodded, heart lifting at the positive response from the small man. “Of course. It’s the least I could do.”
Pepper nodded respectfully, beginning to walk towards the toaster, where Felix recalled there was a hidden exit. Then, the small man paused, peering up at Felix again.
“Also— I’m sure your soulmate doesn’t think you’re crazy,” Pepper said. “I think he’d be glad to hear from you again.”
Felix’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He had forgotten he had even mentioned his soulmate to Pepper. “Oh! Well, I’ll… I’ll reach out to him soon.”
“Good. And thanks again, for the salad. Maybe I’ll see you around, Felix.”
Hearing his name on Pepper’s tongue made Felix’s heart jump, not unpleasantly. “Right. No problem. See you around.”
Hours later, Pepper sat in his hammock, nibbling on a piece of carrot, thinking of massive hands and blonde hair. He sat up straighter as a voice entered his mind.
“Hey, soulmate, how have you been?”
“Hey, Felix,” Pepper murmured, setting his carrot down. Heart skipping a beat, he pressed his hands to his chest.
“Hey. It’s good to hear from you,” he responded, the corners of his lips twitching into a smile.
____
that awkward moment when ur soulmate turns out to be a literal giant that shouldn't even know u exist ... poor pepper
thanks smmm for reading! :]
112 notes · View notes
mixtape-racha · 8 months
Text
lost in reality | han jisung
☆ part 5/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆
words: 1.70k // warnings: college boy!jisung, basketball player!jisung, rivals to more, sunwoo makes an appearance, angst, suggestive
he had you pinned against a locker, a world of emotions you couldn’t understand swirling in his dark eyes. you couldn’t believe after all these years, han jisung was in the same sticky situation as you.
“i can’t escape you anywhere, even in my dreams. what have you fucking done to me, y/n l/n?”
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from the moment you met han jisung, you hated him. you weren’t 100% sure why, but if his his arrogant nature and cocky attitude wasn’t enough to finalize your decision, the way he broke your best friend’s heart was. he was a prick, and you weren’t about to sit back and let him be the student tyrant of the college, running around using people to make himself look better and breaking the hearts of every woman he laid eyes on. he needed knocking off his pedestal, and you were happy to be the one to do it.
he, on the other hand, thought you were pretty. he still did, he wasn’t blind, but he thought you seemed nice at first. he truly wanted to get along with you, to reach out and form a friendship, but it backfired on him big time. for some reason, the second he approached you, you had looked at him in disgust. like he was a monster. like he had personally offended you. you shut down his words quicker than he started talking, and told him if he ever spoke to you again, you’d punch him. it confused him, and he quickly assumed you were just a bitch.
but, oh god, to make it worse, the pair of you ended up pitted against each other at every academic opportunity there was. your test scores meant you were the highest student at the college? jisung’s matched yours. jisung wanted to be student president, and spent 6 weeks planning the perfect campaign? well, so did you, and he would certainly have a fight on his hands. even down to auditioning for the winter musical, or planning field trips for your respective societies. it was exhausting, and only fuelled your hatred for each other.
so when you approached him at a party, telling him with nothing but seriousness in your eyes, that you wanted him to fuck you silly, he was slightly surprised. he wasn’t expecting it at all, but he would be a fool if he didn’t accept - so he did. thats how your arrangement began. when you woke in his bed the next morning, his soft cock still inside of you, at first you were horrified. but then you realized just how satisfying it was, and proposed to jisung that you come to each other for stress relief when you needed it.
the rules were simple: neither of you stayed after you fucked, you were both free to see other people, and no one was to know about your arrangement. simple, right?
and it was going fine. finals season meant the pair of you fucking like rabbits. just like basketball season for jisung, and theater show season for you. it worked, and you were satisfied. sure, you were fucking other guys here and there, just like you were sure jisung was fucking other girls, but it was relieving to be fucking a guy who could actually make you cum.
but the problem was his attitude towards you outside of the bedroom. sure, you both agreed that no one was to know, and if you both became best friends overnight people would be suspicious. but somehow his behavior towards you had got… worse. he ignored you in public, even if you were alone. around people - god, he basically treated you like you were shit on the bottom of his shoe. it was confusing, and overwhelming, and slowly you felt yourself distancing yourself from him.
not responding to his advances when he asked you to come over, disregarding his existence when you saw him around campus. surely, no matter what distaste you two held towards each other, he didn’t really see you the way he acted? you’d even overheard him shitalking you to his friends in the asb classroom before your allocated student council meeting. you’d turned straight around that day, opting to go to the nurse’s office and feign sickness than face him after what you’d heard him saying.
“(y/n)? nah, she’s too far up her own ass. i wouldn’t even go there for a quick fuck.”
“have you seen her, man? she acts like she’s better than everyone else. she’s such an entitled bitch, it makes me sick.”
“she’s not even hot. no, for real. i’ve seen dogs better looking than her.”
tears brimmed in your eyes as the nurse dismissed you and allowed you to go back to your dorm for the remainder of the academic day. you made him sick, huh? not pretty enough, too entitled? how was this the same jisung that you had begging to let him cum inside of you just two nights prior? the same jisung that told you you were the prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on? or was that all just words so he could keep getting in your pants? maybe you were an easy lay. maybe thats all you meant to him.
so, you stood your ground. you no longer hooked up with him, didn’t even interact with him. as far as you were concerned, he no longer existed. you didn’t need his dick inside you, and you certainly didn’t need his presence in your life. instead, you fueled your rage into beating him at his own game - studying harder, pushing further, leaving him shaking in the dust of the pace you were hitting grade targets at.
in all honesty, you didn’t even see him properly again until a frat party almost a month later. your friends had dragged you along, claiming that you needed to let loose instead of holding yourself up in your room all the time. you tried to protest as much as possible, until one of them let slip that sunwoo would be there. sunwoo was known as the campus fuck boy - only interested in hookups or one night stands, and someone who infuriated jisung to no end. you didn’t know, or want to know, what their beef was, but you knew he would be the perfect way to get under jisung’s skin. sunwoo tried to flirt with you a lot, anyway, so it should have been a walk in the park.
and at first it was. you found the boy in question very easily, offering him a drink and reciprocating his flirting easily. you danced with him, swaying your hips against him in an almost hypnotizing way. you caught eyes with jisung across the room from where he was standing with a few of his friends - the one present during his previous bitchfest about you - and look away as if you hadn’t even seen him. in all honesty, you didn’t know why you cared so much. you just knew you wouldn’t let him get away with talking shit about you that easily.
sunwoo was quick to drag you off the dance floor and back into the kitchen, offering to make you a drink while you hopped up on the side, your short skirt fluttering as you did. you graciously accepted, needing as much alcohol as you could get considering how packed the frat house was. it was then that jisung walked into the kitchen, just as sunwoo put his hands on your bare thighs and asked if he could kiss you. you didn’t even think before you nodded, pulling him between your legs by his shirt and slotting your lips together messily.
you heard jisung scoff from behind sunwoo, before the tell-tale sloshing of alcohol that told you he was making a drink. almost as soon as the kiss started, sunwoo pulled away, peppering kisses across your neck as he grasped your hips tightly.
“come back to mine, yeah? we should get out of here, do something fun.”
at that jisung scoffed again, louder this time, causing you and sunwoo both to look over at him - sunwoo confused, you pissed off.
“she can’t, actually. we have an asb meeting at 7 tomorrow, and they want us - the student council presidents - to go now and set up the meeting room.”
“really?” sunwoo asked, looking back at you with furrowed brows. “at 11 at night? damn, well maybe next time, yeah, pretty girl?”
with that he stepped back, a final pat on your thighs as he waved to jisung and left the kitchen. you, on the other hand, were furious. you didn’t even hesitate before you hopped off of the counter and dragged jisung out of the back door by his shirt collar. luckily for you, the garden was empty.
“what the actual fuck is wrong with you, han?” you cried, anger filling your words. “what, if you can’t have me, no one else can? you’re sick.”
he seemed confused by your outburst, and maybe a little embarrassed that you were calling him out on his lie to sunwoo. but nonetheless, he persisted.
“any reason you’ve been completely blanking me, huh? or are you that much of a slut that you’ll hop onto any man available.”
he looked so cocky and proud of himself that you had to wipe the expression off of his face any way you could. deep down, he was hoping you’d take the bait and kiss him so you could both fuck your anger out on each other, so he was flabbergasted when your hand made contact with his cheek. you’d slapped him. and you were on the verge of tears. he was even more confused now, not knowing how to approach the situation now.
“fuck you, han jisung. i heard everything you said about me to your little friends in the asb room. if i make you so sick - you know, being so entitled and so far up my own ass - why are you so set on me not fucking anyone else now i’m not talking to you.”
he seemed shocked by your words, but you didn’t let him respond before you continued.
“i’m stepping down from the student council. i’m not doing it if i have to deal with you,” you spat the words out, making him flinch slightly. “get fucked, jisung. i hope you're proud of yourself. finally top student now, huh?”
and with that you stormed away, leaving him alone in the garden to contemplate his actions, and release he may have lost one of the best things he ever had.
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taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @skz-streamer @hyunjiins @backintomykpopphaseagain @demetrisscarf
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demontonic · 7 months
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Hayden Christensen - The first time - 2
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let’s pretend that i didnt already start writing this for a separate story before i decided to just add it in for a part 2 please and thank you! Here’s part 1 if you haven’t read it and my masterlist for more!
word count: 1998
You had landed a part in Star Wars after years of auditioning for any possible role. You had struck mainstream fame after a horror movie you did for Rob Zombie. They had introduced an interesting character, they wanted to give Darth Vader a devotee, of course after Padme he never loved again but they wanted to show how exactly he dealt with it immediately after her passing. The audition was a scene in which said devotee breaks after pining for his approval the entire series.
“I have given you everything I am, I betrayed everything I ever knew, and I have done everything you ever asked! Just once I want you to see me, all I do, all I am is for you… Anakin.” Your voice sounded empty, defeated, broken and angry. Unrequited love in the worst case scenario possible, falling in love with a widowed sith lord. The story outside all the theatrics however was quite the opposite.
“Chosen one, how’s your morning old man?” You taunted in a merry voice, the taller blond man just shook his head. A smirk resting on his lips as he scoffed at the weak attempt of a joke.
“You aren’t too far behind me lady,” he dropped his bag onto the blue mat next to yours. Soon Hayden towered over you awaiting the inevitable comeback, something you’d grown accustomed to during training.
“Twelve years is enough for me to give you shit big papi,” you shoved his torso once you felt your neck stiffening at the uncomfortable angle it required to look at him.
“Well I thought you two weren’t supposed to get along,” Dave Filoni, you swear you could spend hours thanking this man for his work in the Star Wars universe, afterall he did create your character.
“Dave!”
“Hayden!”
They briefly shook hands, clearly having a deep respect and adoration for each other as long time coworkers and friends. Behind Dave however was this redhead, she was older than you but still younger than Hayden. She was the trainer's assistant who very much liked to try and correct Hayden, despite him having more experience than most of us. It wouldn’t have struck a chord with you, it shouldn’t have, but when she placed her hands around his arms to adjust his ‘lightsaber’ it angered you deeply. Luckily for you she seemed to be in quite the chipper mood, “Fan- fucking -tastic,” you thought while watching her drool over him.
“-And then we’ll get started on your final battle, sound good?” Dave looked between you and Hayden, a nod coming from you both before he walked away; being replaced by the main trainer, Harry.
“Morning, Milord, lover girl, Jess.” His voice was relaxed as always, he was a gentle man despite the skills he had taught us. He could cheer you up and stop you from being discouraged one moment and then completely body slam you the next. You were forever grateful he was the trainer, because if it was that snotty bitch Jessica, you’d never catch a break. He liked to refer to us using names related to our characters to ‘get us in the headspace’ you just thought it was cute.
“Morning puff, how was the commute this morning?” You teased since he always complained about traffic, but today he gave you a knowing look. Puff was the nickname you gave him, his hair was insanely fluffy and long it also was a very light blonde.
“Well I’ll have you know it was better today, I hope that’s how your choreography goes as well since we’re gonna start breaking down your final battle today.” He grabbed a pole before swiftly turning to us, a test he’d do every now and then to see if we could spring into action. Of course, being the teacher’s pet I’d met his ‘blade’ first.
“Ah my lover girl, always quick on her feet,” his praise made you smile while he stood down, returning to his previous spot.
“She still needs to keep her legs braced properly, her stance is weak,” Jessica spat while she walked over to Harry, twirling her pole in hand cockily. To be fair she’d won many matches against you, but as of recently you had the winning streak.
“Now Jess-”
“Wanna give it a go, see how weak my stance really is?” You proposed, walking out to the middle of the mat, leaving Hayden to stand lonesome in the corner. He loved your drive, your constant need to prove yourself against that wretched woman. Not many people fancied her, it wasn’t hard to understand why, Hayden was not one of those people.
“Any day, any time, you know I’m always ready,” she quickly met you in the middle, poised for action, awaiting your first strike.
“Are you?” You had been working on this rendition of Hayden’s move, it was your personal touch to the character. It was the famous ‘Obi-Ani’ however when the saber went behind your back the blade would be downturned. From there it would switch hands, strike once it was brought forth, then switched back to your right hand. That was exactly how you started, she hadn’t been able to combat it and in the fictional universe her hand would be severed. In the real world, you hit her wrist very hard, you hoped to see the bruise later on.
“Impressive! I didn’t know you had finally polished that move, I think it will do well in the choreo.” Harry quickly declared before getting in between you two. Hayden also approached you, his hand turned your shoulder to face him.
“What even was that?” He sounded impressed, almost childlike especially with the smile that accompanied the question.
“I took your move, and I made it my own master,” you said cockily with a shit eating smile. Harry’s praise made you smile, but Hayden’s interest made you jump for joy.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
It had been a few hours now, you had gone through 4 out of 10 parts of the battle and you were starting to get frustrated. The lightsaber part had never been an issue, but the footwork on your part was intense. It had to be because by now Anakin was Darth Vader his mobility was nothing like the prequels. To keep Hayden stiff they had pads on his arms and knees to limit the movement. On top of that there was a lot of dialogue throughout the beginning, so you kept circling each other, anticipating each other's next moves.
“Again, let's slow it back dow-“
“No. Let’s do it again, I just need to keep doing this until I get it.” It wasn’t a backflip or some mind blowing parkour, however the transition from running, to sliding, up to your knees; and then trying not to fall back while Hayden pushed down on you with his saber wasn’t easy.
“Do you want me to ease up?” God sometimes you just wanted to hit him with the pole when he tried to water it down for you. He came from a good place but amidst your frustration, and Jessica’s relentless corrections you were losing control.
“No, just start again at 3”
“Okay, on your line”
And with a heavy sigh you repeated the last line of your spiel. “Just once I want you to see me, all I do, all I am is for you… Anakin.” Your voice was harsh, it was unmissable so as Hayden began his attack, you deflected with more force than normal. Your jaw was clenched and your fists tight. Your eyes were set on Hayden, it was like you were doing the scene for the actual take, hell it was like you were actually living this scenario.
“Anakin is no more, I killed hi-“
“Liar!”
You stepped forward going back into the confrontation, your sabers clashing louder than before. Grunts leaving your throat as you push your tired body to perfection, until you catch sight of Jessica. Her glare stuck on you as if you killed her favorite person, it just made you fume. The next part is when you cut off Vader’s left hand and while normally you let Hayden put his hand down, you hit the back of his hand. Finally it had clicked that you weren’t okay, something was bothering you and he had a pretty good idea why. However he remained silent and followed through with the scene.
“All this time, did you think I might fall in love with you? Your pride consumes you, padawan.”
“And your grief consumes you.” You said through clenched teeth, this was where you had to jump off a blue block they’d set up. As you jumped down, you rolled onto your knees before running at Hayden, and to avoid his saber you slid beneath it. Once you turned to face him, you hurriedly got onto one knee finally making it on time before your sabers clashed. He pushed down on you and you could feel your shoe slip against the slick fabric of the mats. You were fed up with this plastic always fucking this part up so you pushed back with all your upper body strength.
Not your best moment.
Hayden fell back as you stood up and this finally calmed you down from your mood. You breathed heavily while you walked over to help him back up, twirling your saber mindlessly. You looked down at the blonde, holding your hand out wordlessly in embarrassment.
“Sorry, I just-“
“Let’s take a break, and talk about this.” Hayden interjected before hurriedly ushering you to the parking lot. There was nothing to say, it was childish of you to act out, it was embarrassing, you couldn't begin to process the emotions pooling in your stomach. He unlocked his car and opened the door for you without hesitation, he was scarily calm as you got in the passenger seat. It didn’t take long for him to get into the driver’s seat, long strides equaled less steps. Once he was seated the silence continued for a moment, you wouldn’t dare meet his gaze.
“Jessica is a hard person to be around, I’m sure you’ve had a few instances like that in the workplace. Y/N you are giving her what she wants when you get angry, people like that thrive off your misery.” Hayden Christensen, he had to be God’s favorite, he was so nice and understanding. A gentle giant trying to reason with a short psycho, perfect.
“It disappoints you as much as it does me-“
“I’m not disappointed in you, if anything I’m proud… surprised even.”
“Surprised?”
“Yeah, Harry assumed you would’ve chewed her head off by now. You saved me 20 bucks”
“So what I’m hearing is you think I could win in a fight.” The mood was lighter now, you both sported bright smiles while the banter continued.
“I wouldn’t have put money on you if I didn’t think you would,” he was being sincere and you knew by the way he spoke so effortlessly.
“Might not be for much longer, it’s like she gets worse everyday- that or my tolerance is getting shorter.” This time your tone sounded defeated, sure you’ve dealt with more stressful things in life, but it seemed as though you had no more patience left. Hayden quickly took note of this and used the leverage of you being a Star Wars nerd to cheer you up.
“Have faith love, everything will soon be set right… I’ve been told she’ll be transferred to a different project anyway. Someplace far far away from us,” His voice dwindled to a hushed volume, it was soothing.
“That would bring peace to the entire city.” He laughed at your brutal joke before changing the subject.
“So do you think we can go in there and try to play nice?” The question lingered for a moment before you reluctantly answered him.
“I don’t make promises.”
“But?”
“But… I will try.”
“Atta girl.”
@oogachakaooga
@lonelywitchv2
@papas-peepee
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wonik1ss · 3 months
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౨ৎ The Enemy To Lover ! — winter kim
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pairing — non idol!winter x reader song rec : xo call me - vcha & here we go again - jini ( 1.3k ) warnings ! none ᯤ ^ ㅇ ^ happy reading ! ⸝⸝・ᘏᘏ
prompt : on a fateful Wednesday afternoon 2 people cut ties with you. but with cupid on your side you have 2 different paths to take to hopefully get back together with these 2 people by Valentine’s Day end! val event !
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Drip.. drop.. drop.. drip
“Could you seriously stop?”. You eyes wondered to the redheads. You nodded and started to tap your feet. Reason? Blood circulation. If the girl asked. You had just finnished auditioning for your colleges play. There was supposed to be a ‘after party’ which was really you all just going to Danielle’s house to eat snacks and pray you got your roles.
Two minutes after you left the school the red head did too. You pulled up your scarf around your neck and braced for impact.
“So who did you audition for?”. The girl scoffed and put went to get her air pods out of her coat pocket. Even her air was cold. Totally not because it was dead fuck in the middle of winter.. right?
“Yua”. You tilted your head up towards the girl. She sighed again and stared at you.
“I auditioned for Yua”
“Oh! I auditioned for Han-“. The girl nodded and then put in her air pods. Rude.
“Hm”
“Nothing sorry”. You bowed and you could see the girls tongue poking at her cheek. Rude bitch.
As you attend at the girl heels clicking like Dorothy you saw your actual Dorothy running up to you.
“Sorry we couldn’t get here fast we didn’t know we needed two cars!”. Danielle ran to hug you and bowed to the other girl. The perfect Dorothy. As you smiled at Danielle the other girl scoffed.
“Winter are you ok sitting in the back seat? Haerin couldn’t cause she’s claustrophobic”. Translation she had a fat crush on Dani. Being the cat girls bestfriend you but you cheek and pretend to look ate the snow.
“It’s fine..”
“Oh and you too Y/n! Sunoo said something about it messing up his face I don’t really remember”. You nodded and as the bubbly girl turned around you followed. Too busy looking at the snow fall you tripped on air. For like the fifth time this day. You felt a hand on your arm and as you looked up Winter let go. You hit your head on the cars window and Ning Ning grimaced as she opened the door.
“You ok?”
“Mhm”. With out even looking you knew she was rolling her eyes. That was only the first awkward interaction between the two of you. Yua and Hana were friends. Best friends infact. But Winter didn’t seem to get that after the fifteen times you ran over lines with her.
“.. let’s.. let’s try that again”. Bless Mrs. Joys heart.
“I heard she really pretty”
“But then one of the boys will snatch her up!”. You sighed. Again and again Winter gave you dry ass lines.
“Ok.. um.. take five kids! There’s some cookies in the back if you want some”. You nodded and watched as everyone went back stage. You sat at the edge of the stage, and played both rolls.
“You know you could just ask me to rehearse lines with you”
“Oh.. sorry.. do you wa-“
“Sure”. You gulped as Winter sat next you. She put her lines face down and her hand on your thigh.
“Do you think yin’s in love?”
“Why do you say that”. That wasn’t dry..?.
“The way she stares at him makes me sick but her.. I can tell she’s overjoyed.. to bad”
“To bad what..”.Closer… so close you could feel her breath on your skin.
“I.. I heard he.. gets around.. only likes her cause.. cause she’s new”
“Then we will protect her”. As Winter took her hand of your thigh the warmth and closeness left with it.. only for a second.
“But I’m like half his wait”. You laughed. This time Winter took her hand and put it under your chin.
“Repeat after me”
“Ok..?”
“Ofcourse your not gonna protect her”
“Of- hay”. Winter smiled as she went to pinch your cheek. Putting her hand under your pouting lips after.
“We just.. strongly disagree with any attempts she makes with him”. You nodded and started to look at the empty seats. Was that—
“Plus.. shouldn’t you be worrying about-“
“Oh stop!”. You shooed Winters hand away and she laughed.
“I know I’m working on it!”. Winter lifted her hand from beside yours and messed up your hair. Your cracked a smile and she did too.
“Can’t wait t-“
“Winter that was lovely.. the chemistry was great Y/n”. Mrs. Joy (she thinks using her first name makes her hip) grabbed both of your hands. Shaking winters more Joy playfully laughed.
“Why don’t you do that on stage?”
“The people I guess”. You didn’t miss the glance winter gave you before her face went stone cold again. After that she performed better but after she treated you were a fat piece of shit.
Now as your in your dressing chair you sighed.
“Can’t believe they cancelled the play and made it a ‘theater production’ cause they aren’t getting any hype anymore”. Yoon giggled as she applied some more mascara to your lashes.
“Translation Vice Principle A was made his daughter who got rigged in wasn’t getting any attention”. You giggled as Karina flicked Yoon’s head.
“She’s nice!”
“And can’t direct! She literally told me ‘do it again but like.. happier.. you know?’”. Yoon smiled as she sprayed setting sprayed and turned your chair to the mirror.
“Won’s just defending her cause she wants her sooooo bad”. Karina rolled her eyes and then ran out the trailer. Just then you saw a text from said girl ‘can anyone help me unpack the cameras? The rest left for break and I wanna make it easier on them”. You and Yoon looked at eachother and then burst out laughing.
“K I gotta go sneak into Won’s trailer to get that glitter she wears! It looked perfect on you and for Hana’s character!”. You nodded and then stared at yourself before. Then a wave of hair fell on your face. You tried to blow it up but it didn’t work. You heard a loud laugh.
“You watch too many romcom’s”. As winter approached you bit your tongue and tried to fix your hair. The girl put her head down on yours and you immediately stopped.
“You need help?”
“No..”
“If you go out like that you’ll look like that girl the crawled out of the tv”. As Winter mimicked the girl youlaughed. And she immediately stopped. She grabbed a brush and hair spray and got to working.
“You.. you ready for the change?”
“Ya if Miyoung finally lets Wonyoung direct”. You laughed and the girl patted your head.
“Don’t move your head to much unless I do it don’t wanna ruin your eyes”. You moved your eyes up and down and Winter burst out laughing.
“What you said don’t move my head!”. As Winter finnished she turned you around and stuck her tongue out. You tried to stifle a laugh.
“Wait..”. Winter then pulled out a silver locket necklaces and put it around your neck.
“Over heard Mrs. J saying they forgot the necklaces. Winter smiled as you looked up at her.
“Thanks”
“Not problem.. I’ll go now”. Before you could even speak you got alert telling you to get to set. Meaning your schools garden. After filming Winter was distant. The scoffs and eye rolling came back. As you went to your troller you saw a girl in an all pink uniform filling her nails.
“What is up with today? All these dumbasses fumbling I just can’t!”. The girl stood up and paved around the room.
“What-“
“I cupid! Name Wonyoung! You fumbled a really pretty girl now I make you got back in time and fix it! Or you will die alone sad and mad and bad!”. The girl pointed to herself and then pointed to two boys outside of your trailer. Through the window you saw them start to aggressively make out.
“Wo-“
“Yes or no?”
“Y-“. Snap.
Just like that you were back two weeks before you auditioned. In your room listening to laufey. You were gonna say ‘You must be crazy’.
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cowboycharmac · 11 months
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iasip seasons by who i think should have won cunt of the year that season
season 1: mac <3 convincing the gang its their moral duty to serve alcohol to children. what are you like bulimic or something. what if jesus was aborted. season 1 mac my everything. he is like a morally reprehensible girlfriend to me
season 2: also mac. its more evenly tied but honestly i have to give it to him bc season 2 is a great season for mac, cunt-wise. making fun of the twins crack addiction, banging their mom, and then leaving dennis to get stabbed in that alleyway? he earned it. technically dennis starts most of these by betting against mac and making fun of mac for having a meth dealer for a dad but honestly hes more of an asshole then a cunt here i think. mac was serving us cunt on a silver platter and i for one am thankful
season 3: dee. the gang finds a dumpster baby. aluminum monster vs fatty mcgoo. dennis looks like a registered sex offender. her entire relationship with cricket. need i go on
season 4: its between dennis and frank here i cant decide ok... wait yes i can. frank wins. waterboarding your illegitimate daughter and taking away her health insurance. shitting the bed on purpose as a joke. giving your bastard son stigmata with a nailgun. tricking dee and charlie into thinking they ate human and giving them parasites. really good season for frank
season 5: dennis reynolds misogynist swag it was almost frank again but the dennis system really truly is awful i hate him so much <3 also he broke up with mac he made mac SAD!!!! >:( and he was annoying to dee which is also misogynistic because i say so. happy cunting dennis. also ummm he served some insane cunt in that gay ass thong.... im wearing these because i wanna turn you on bro. do you think s5 macden ever explored eachothers bodies.
season 6: maureen ponderosa. she lived she died she served CUNT the end !!!!!!!! shes only in two episodes but she really truly marries this loser bitch kicks him out of his OWN HOUSE and then dumps all her debt on him and hes STILL giving her alimony checks to fund her transition into a cat until she dies over half a decade later. and he deserves every bit of it!!!!!!! i love her sooo much and those kitty sweaters.... ok!!!!!! maureen i want you back i could treat you so right
season 7: dee and dennis tie for this one sorry.... chardee macdennis and highschool reunion and sweet dee gets audited.... what is wrong with them <3
SIGH ok im bored now maybe ill do a part two later anyways you guys discuss with the class i have to go think about maureen some more <3 catgirl of ever
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rottenpumpkin13 · 10 months
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More Highlights From the SOLDIER Group Chat
• Every time someone makes a grammatical mistake and butchers the English language, Genesis sends a copy of the Rosetta stone.
• Kunsel changing the group chat name to The Bad Bitch Brigade™
• Angeal's phone and microphone are broken as hell, but he refused to buy a new phone while his still works, so all of his audio messages make him sound like a chipmunk.
• Roche accidentally sent his "most to least attractive" list to the group chat. Genesis was at the very bottom. Genesis didn't shut up for six hours.
• Every time Sephiroth is questioned about something uncomfortable he responds with a model-esque selfie.
Lazard: Sephiroth did you break the training room again???
Sephiroth: *sends a picture perfect selfie of himself basking in the sunlight*
• Zack using the group chat as his personal journal until Lazard told him to stop because "No one wants to hear about the sweet potato shaped like a penis you had for lunch, Zackary, nor do we want to hear about the life advice the drunkard in sector 7 keeps giving you"
• On a similar note, Genesis uses the group chat as his personal to-do list. Lazard also had him stop after the items started getting more and more concerning. The last straw was:
1) Buy fireworks
2) Buy enough duct tape to hold a grown man
3) Summon Sephiroth to the rooftop at midnight
• Director Lazard thought the "😂" emoji meant a sad crying face, so he sent "I regret to inform you all that Mrs. Helen Thompson from the finance office has passed away 😂 💀"
• The day Genesis changed the group chat name to "LOVELESS study club" and began sending his LOVELESS analysis. Everyone left the group chat immediately. Including Lazard.
• The morning everyone hurried to the group chat to see why there were 5K messages. It turns out Kunsel and Zack were RP-ing.
• Sephiroth not knowing that "I'm dying" means the person is laughing. He twice sent paramedics to Genesis's office.
• Angeal, the admin, getting drunk and changing everyone's screen names to something ridiculous.
Sephiroth, Genesis and Zack became Mommy Issues, Used To Eat Chalk When We Were Six, and Hedgehog On Crack.
• Upon figuring out how to change the group chat name, Sephiroth changed it to The Mystery Penis™ Is [Redacted] and then turned his phone off.
• Zack sending a joke picture of him and Kunsel holding hands. Kunsel has hairy fingers so Angeal immediately responds with "WHAT DID YOU DO TO AERITH?"
• Sephiroth learns he doesn't need to respond to every messages and can instead use the reaction feature. This leads to gems such as:
Sephiroth reacted to - Genesis: SEPHIROTH, YOU LIMP DICK, DID YOU TELL LAZARD THAT I STOLE THE POPCORN MACHINE IN THE BREAK ROOM???: 👍
• Angeal changing the group chat name to "Dr. Phil audition tapes"
• Roche selling a used hair dryer and advertising it on the group chat as "USED HAIR, GOOD CONDITION, $20 GIL FREE SHIPPING
• That of course is followed by a mass advertisment spam where everyone is trying to sell their used products. Genesis in particular gets removed from the group chat for "ASSORTED TOYS, NEVER USED, SOLD TO ADULTS ONLY, $ 50 GIL A PIECE + AUTOGRAPH
• Genesis being removed allows Zack to advertise "BOX OF RANDOM SHIT I STOLE FROM GENESIS'S APARTMENT"
• Cloud, an infantryman who's secretly been a part of the group this whole time, finally outs himself the day Reno is discovered to be hiding in the group chat undercover.
• He sent this image:
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