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#took me long enough – hope you could enjoy :D
chevvy-yates · 1 year
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10 for the Uncommon Questions for OCs - for all the boys please!
10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?
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Vijay rarely lies. But in this case having met Arki — well… He definitely sorta starts lying to Ryder(!) about uh— 'not knowing him properly' — when in fact they already had a very hot night at the No Tell Motel right after their 3rd meeting (it's always been short meetings). It's not that Vijay does this on purpose. He just thinks he shouldn't talk about it because he feels Ryder seems to have something against Arki (and Ryder's reason stacks up, tbh I do understand him). It doesn't haunt him, he just feels a bit bad about it afterward — especially when Ryder finally checks, there's something going on between those two (Ry's a bit low, counting one and one together at times — forgive him please).
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When people ask him about his glowing circuit lines on his skin, if it is accidentally showing (as in activated). Jay then says it would be some sort of a brand new fashionable tattoo mod. It just requires to have your skin replaced almost completely (depending on where you want to have it) and added together with new synth realskin. Only Jaysen likes to tell it a bit more gruesome: Depending on the ripper doc's skills it can be really painful because you need to peel off all the skin parts from the body then install the mod and new skin. Jay finds it amusing how people look at him disgusted yet fascinated. It all is a complete lie though. His glowing circuit lines aren't just a tattoo, it is some—REDACTED
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When he gets asked about his family Ryder lies about it. He tells that his parents died by getting robbed and shot afterwards while he was at his grandparents place. Grandparents are already deceased as well, so he has no 'family' alive anymore. His family are his best friends (which isn't a lie). Does it haunt him? It sure does. Everytime he needs to lie — technically I do not really see this as a lie (yet it still is?), but Ry never felt he belonged there but see, blood is blood — about his Corpo background it opens some healed wounds again. He could tell the truth about it (try imagining him telling someone he's the son of the CEO of Militech — nobody would probably believe him either, which would be funny too in some way) but he is just really careful not to do it. The city has ears everywhere and he doesn't want to be found by his family nor face his superior ever again, or his brother, or mother. They are dead to him, yet he always gets to see either Wilhelm or Karl on the news when they've got something tremendously new to show to the public.
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Thyjs is super bad at lying, so he chooses not to lie anymore. If he would only try, people would find out very fast because he's definitely not gifted in this task. He tried lying as a teen many times but his parents always found out and especially his father (a Militech admiral) did order extra rounds when it came to Militech training, once he found out his son lied about something by just telling Thyjs' supervisor his boy needed some extra training (e.g. run more miles, do more push-ups). Thyjs knew it was because he tried to lie or hide something from his father. It was just usual things like "I feel ill" when he didn't want to go to training, so it does not haunt him. He just wanted to be a teen and do what normal teens his age did. His military training was very strong concerning discipline and when he was past his teenage age he already was the brave loyal soldier boy ready to execute given commands.
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ohdeerfully · 4 months
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alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.
thank you for your service
yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!
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Goodmorning, Love
Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══
You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.
You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?
Obviously. 
You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.
“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”
You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.
“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.
You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.
“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”
He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 
“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 
I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.
You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.
“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”
“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.
You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.
You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.
Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.
You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 
He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.
Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.
You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.
You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.
Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.
You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.
“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”
You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.
“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.
“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”
He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.
“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.
“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Unlikely.”
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jeneveuxrein · 3 months
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inevitable (BLACKPINK Jennie)
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word count: 7.5K
(something light, in a sense it’s the prequel to best behavior, but my apologies for not getting this out when it was supposed to be, enjoy!)
-- --
The question is out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. It’s become a habit more than anything, but you promised it would be something you break in the new year.
You just didn’t expect the answer to change.
“Okay, Tuesday works.”
Your jaw almost drops, but your lips stay in a straight line, slowly curling up. If you’re being honest, you want to scream at the top of your lungs because finally.
“Sweet,” You answer nonchalantly. “I’ll text you, yeah?”
“Sure,” The woman stands from the barstool, a soft smile on her face. One you’re not familiar with, especially directed at you. It’s sincere, and personal that it almost feels like you’re seeing a side that’s been waiting to be shown. There’s something in your chest that blooms. “See you then.”
A small wave from her friend has you returning it back, watching them walk away. You hear giggles, and you know she could never keep her excitement to herself.
It sets in quickly as the door shuts behind the pair, internally fist pumping. All the time and effort finally paid off.
Kim Jennie said yes.
-- --
You laughed at Lisa’s joke, sipping your beer as you leaned against the counter. She was telling a story about how one of her dancers walked in on her changing, ogling a second too long that she ran out of the room. Only things like this would happen to her.
Someone asked a question when she walked in.
You almost dropped your drink because there was no one that had ever caught your attention like she did.
She practically lit up the room, and for some reason, you felt a little lighter. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but this felt pretty damn close.
You played your cool, not wanting to seem too forward, too eager, to talk to her. That didn’t mean your eyes glanced away, they kept searching for her in the room as Jisoo pulled her into whoever they walked by. There were handshakes and hugs, and you wondered where you’d fall.
Your heartbeat lightly thudded on your chest when they were a few feet away. You’d soon get to meet her, and you hoped you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself.
“Jendeukie,” Jisoo fondly called her as they stood in front of you. She introduced your name. You froze when your eyes met her—love at first sight never seemed so close, because you’d have to bet she felt it too.
Whatever it was.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Jennie extended her hand out, a shy smile in her face
“Right back at you,” Throwing her a wink as her hand gripped around your palm. You noticed how soft her hand was, small too, but there was something about it that just fit right.
“Oppa! Don’t you dare,” Jisoo slapped your arm enough for your hand to drop Jennie’s. “I refuse to let the mandu be part of your list. Absolutely not.” She shook her head, disapproving already when you hadn’t said more than four words to her.
Jisoo dragged Jennie away before you could respond.
Lisa chuckled next to you, shaking her head. She knew you too well to know you were instantly attracted to the woman. It was obvious on your face. “Please don’t.”
“I’m going to marry her,” You said simply.
Lisa almost spit out her drinking. You weren’t one to mention commitment when you were dating all these women, let alone marriage.
“What?”
“I’m going to marry Jennie,” You shrugged, as if it was for certain, a small smile formed on your face when your eyes met her across the room.
A smile returned.
--
You groaned, frustrated again at Jennie’s rejection. You didn’t understand why she was being difficult. You thought she was interested in you.
“Unnie said no again, huh?” Rosie asked, chuckling as the waiter took away the empty plates.
“I literally don’t get it,” You shook your head at your phone screen, re-reading Jennie’s no. “Does she not like me?”
Rosie rolled her eyes, used to your dramatics. “She probably doesn’t like you the way you do if she’s said no four times already.”
It had been a month since you met Jennie, and you saw her frequently, thanks to Lisa inviting you to come along. At first, you didn’t want to go, but she’d slip in that Jennie would be there too. It was an easy decision to join whatever they did, even though you’d end up taking an insane amount of pictures.
Jennie was shy.
Or, at the very least, shy around you.
You would describe it as ‘shy’ because she hardly interacted with you. You had to approach her first, grasping at straws to have any kind of conversation with her.
You were able to get her number one night after clubbing, mentioning this restaurant that you thought she would like. It was the perfect segue to ask her out, but you later saw on her socials she went with one of her friends. She did, however, message you a thank you for the recommendation.
“I don’t get why you’re trying so hard,” Rosie commented as you pouted at your device. “Jennie’s never had a boyfriend, and sorry if it’s harsh, but I genuinely don’t think you’d be her first serious relationship.”
Something you knew very early on, but you were aware of the effect she had on men and women alike. You witnessed a lot of people ask her out. She entertained it, flirting right in front of you.
It wasn’t like you could say anything. You were just some guy that was around Jennie. You weren’t even sure she considered you a friend.
“You’re right,” You flip your phone over. “It’s probably not meant to be.”
You knew you wouldn’t listen to Rosie. There was something in your gut that told you to keep trying.
It felt inevitable.
--
You were almost at your breaking point. You didn’t know what would push you over the edge, but you were sure it was close.
Jennie said no again.
You offhandedly asked her to dinner after walking her to the train station. You took the opportunity to be alone with her while the others took a car to their respective homes.
You were thankful for your ‘friendship’ that had developed over the past few months. It had gotten to the point where you could hold a conversation, and she wouldn’t look at you with a blank stare. She even sometimes approached you, asking how you were and what was going on in your life.
Yet, you couldn’t figure it out.
Some days she’d always be near you, keeping you within arms reach.
Other days, she’d hardly look your way.
Rosie was also confused by Jennie’s attitude toward you. It took some time, but after a while, over a quick bite after work, she asked you if anything was going on. You couldn’t give her an answer since you were trying to make something happen, but rejection was always the outcome. Rosie didn’t know what was going on. She even went on to tell you that she asked Jennie herself how she felt about you, but she couldn’t get an answer out of her.
You were rolling with the punches at this point.
Christmas was around the corner and you wanted to do coupley things with someone, but the someone you wanted to do it with was making it difficult.
The worst part of hearing another rejection was that you had to see Jennie this evening.
Sana was hosting a holiday get-together slash birthday party before your friends leave to spend the end of the year with their families. She was adamant that you had to go because there was a surprise that you didn’t want to miss. When it came to Sana, you had to be weary. It took a bit of convincing, but you reluctantly said yes when all you wanted to do was stay home and play video games, especially with how work had been going.
Lisa mentioned earlier in the week that Jennie would also be there, which your enthusiasm to be at the same place with her waned these past few weeks. You’d be happy to see her, but at the same time, the no thank you she gave you echoed in your head.
You arrived at Sana’s, knocking on the door as you waited for someone to answer. You heard the sound of conversation on the other side, which meant the party was in full swing. A moment later, Momo opened the door, face lighting up as soon as she saw you.
“Oppa! You made it,” Momo greeted, hugging you briefly before ushering you in. You weren’t used to her being this excited to see you. She usually just gave you a nod, but as soon as you entered, you felt something was up.
“Hi Momo,” You smiled, handing her the bottle of wine Sana demanded you bring as you took your shoes off.
“Go to the kitchen,” Momo nodded encouragingly, the same smile still on her face when you walked in.
This is weird, you thought before doing exactly what she said.
You said your hello’s to a few of your friends, who had the same excitement on their face as you walked by.
You saw Jennie across the room, next to one of her friends, Hyujin, and Jisoo, laughing at something the latter was saying. She looked up as soon as you walked by. You didn’t say anything except shooting her a small smile before reaching the kitchen.
You scanned the room, noting the food and alcohol spread prepared by Sana, before your eyes fell on the back of someone familiar. You couldn’t quite place it, but you saw this person conversing with Sana and Lisa.
Sana shrieked when she realized you were there, halting most, if not all, of the conversations in her apartment.
“Oppa! Come here!” Sana waved you over, and as she did, the person in question turned around and you couldn’t help the grin forming on your face. “Look who it is,” She pointed excitedly.
Mina.
--
Being in the presence of your ex-girlfriend was a pleasant surprise.
You hadn’t seen Mina since she graduated and moved back to Japan. You spoke with her a few times, wishing birthdays mostly, but that was the extent. You kept up with her socials and whatever Sana or Momo would tell you, and from what you gathered, she had been doing great.
She was also still as beautiful as you remembered. Time had made her even more so, that you felt you were in the presence of a goddess.
You told her exactly that, which was met with an eye roll and a cheeky smile.
“Still with the compliments?” Mina shook her head, cheeks turning red as she sipped her wine.
“Never enough for you,” You leaned forward, hand resting on the back of the seat.
To your friends, the witnesses of your relationship, they wouldn’t think anything of it. It was a familiar sight to be close with Mina, regardless of how much time has passed. They knew how hard it was on you when the relationship ended, but everyone knew that it wouldn’t last. She was always meant to go back to Japan. There was an expiration date the moment you decided to be together.
Could you have followed her to Japan? Yes, but would you? Probably not.
You were in love with her, but you were glad you experienced your first heartbreak with her.
It was a lot of catching up, talking about what happened then, in between, and now. Mina was doing well for herself, developing games for one of the country's biggest companies. She lived a simple life, hanging out with her friends and occasionally traveling with her family abroad.
You were proud of who she had become. She wasn’t the same woman you fell in love with all those years ago–shy, reserved–that much was obvious. She was still shy, but there was an air of confidence around her that wasn’t there before. She glowed, smiling at your stories and laughing at your antics. You could tell she was proud of you too.
The topic of relationships came up, which Mina told you candidly that she was seeing someone. His name was Kyo, a bit of a hot-head, but he was only ever like that with his cousins. You were happy she found someone who drew her out of her shell.
In love always looked good on her, even if that meant it wasn’t with you.
“What about you?” Mina placed her wine glass on the counter, the rest of your friends in their own conversations around you. They’d join in, but ultimately left you two in your own space.
“What about me?” You sighed. “I haven’t really dated anyone since you.”
Mina tilted her head, analyzing your face. It was jarring whenever she did that. She always said there were ‘tells’ when you liked someone, even on a superficial level. Having been her friend before you started dating, she could figure out if there was a crush involved.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Mina’s eyes squinted, lip pouting as she took her eyes off you to look behind you. “But then will you tell me why I’ve been on the receiving end of a death glare since you sat down with me?” You almost turned around, but she rushed out, “Don’t.”
“What’re you talking about?” You raised an eyebrow, confused.
“You like someone, and they’re here, aren’t they?”
Leave it to Mina who could always see right through you.
A dejected yes fell from your lips, shoulders dropping as you quietly explained the situation with Jennie. There wasn’t much to say except you had been asking her out for quite some time, but it hadn’t gotten anywhere.
“I don’t know her, but if I had to wager, she probably likes you too.”
There was no way.
Jennie hadn’t come up to you since you arrived. You hadn’t even thought of her until now, too swept up with Mina’s presence .
“Doubtful.”
Mina made a humming sound before changing the subject, not commenting on it anymore. You didn’t have it in you to ask.
--
You waited for the elevator when you heard a set of footsteps approaching you. Your pulse quickened when you saw Jennie and Hyujin walking towards you. You decided to leave the party as soon as Jeongyeon suggested the start of playing games, mainly because you didn’t want to referee disagreements between Jihyo and Nayeon. It somehow always fell on you.
“Hi,” You bowed your head slightly the closer the pair got to you.
Hyujin smiled, giving you a soft hey as she stood next to you. The other woman looked at you with a tight smile before facing the elevator.
“Oh, shit,” Hyujin said after looking through her purse, “I have Jisoo’s keys. I’ll be back. If the elevator comes, I’ll just meet you in the lobby.”
Hyujin took off right as the elevator doors opened. You internally groaned as Jennie walked in, following after her.
Once the elevator door closed, you felt the hairs on your neck stand. The air around you suddenly felt tense, and you didn’t know what to do. You watched the numbers decrease, the elevator descending that it felt like forever being in such close quarters with her.
“How was your night?” Jennie’s voice came out so softly. You almost didn’t hear her.
“Oh, uh, well it was great.”
“Good. I’m glad,” You braced yourself, sensing her next question. “You spent a lot of time talking with Mina-ssi. How do you two know each other?”
“She’s my ex-girlfriend,” You raised your arm to scratch the back of your head. You had no reason to feel embarrassed, but you felt the need to explain yourself. “We dated in school, but broke up because she moved back to Japan. We’re still cordial.”
Jennie turned her head slightly, giving you an inscrutable expression. You still couldn’t figure her out, but if you had to describe it, she looked annoyed.
“Ex-girlfriend?” You didn’t miss the way she emphasized the first part. “It seemed a little cozy between you two.”
You were getting baited, and you fell for it.
“Mina has a boyfriend,” You deadpanned, crossing your arms.
“Sure she does,” Jennie rolled her eyes. “She didn’t act like she had one.”
Whatever she implied, you wouldn’t have any of it. You had always been protective of Mina, and her comment pissed you off.
“You don’t know her, so watch what you’re saying,” You said lowly, eyes glaring as she turned her body to face you.
“If I had a boyfriend, I don’t think he’d like me cozying up with someone that wasn’t him.”
“Why do you care?” You turned, nearly towering over her as she looked up, “Why do you care what Mina does? Wait, I think the better question is, why do you care what I do?”
Jennie scoffed, shaking her head, “I don’t know how that relates to anything-”
“I know you were staring at us when we spoke. Mina felt it across the room,” You cut her off. You took a small step forward, invading her space when you heard her breath hitch. “Jealous?” You grinned as her eyes widened.
The elevator ringing broke whatever trance you two were in. You stepped back, giving Jennie space as you watched her shake her head.
“Goodnight Jennie. I��ll see you around,” You say quietly, nodding as you walk away.
You didn’t know what the hell that was, but you didn’t look back. Your thoughts were in a mess because you saw a glimpse of how Jennie felt.
You couldn’t get your hopes up again.
-- --
“Just checking in,” The waitress serving your table is here again, for the fourth time. “Your date will be arriving soon, yes?”
“Yes,” You lie because you haven’t heard from Jennie since this morning to confirm the time and location. “She’s stuck in some bad traffic.”
The waitress nods politely, walking away before she stands among her colleagues. They whisper something, shooting you pitiful looks and it adds to the sting of how the night’s unfolding.
Jennie’s late.
Today is also her birthday, which you were completely unaware of.
The only reason you know is because later in the morning, while checking your socials, Lisa posted a picture of a birthday greeting to Jennie. You immediately called Rosie to make sure, uncaring that you woke her up in the middle of the night since she was in Australia. She hung up as soon as she said yes.
You didn’t think Jennie would want to spend part of her birthday with you, of all people. You also didn’t think she wouldn’t share this piece of information with you. Your mistake for not knowing it was her birthday because she only ever said it was at the beginning of the year. Sure, you could have asked for an exact date, but still.
This wasn’t how you expected things to go.
Things were weird between you and Jennie after Sana’s party. You didn’t bother meeting with them when Lisa invited you. You had to clear your head because all these mixed signals from Jennie were throwing you off. If you were in the same vicinity, especially with the not-tense exchange in the elevator, you were sure you’d say something you’d regret. You were still surprised she didn’t slap you for what you said. It was warranted.
You saw her right before the year ended, and things were the same–in a way.
You still spoke to each other the same, but there was something between you that you couldn’t ignore. She felt it too. There was some truth to what you said, even if it was very little, because she acted very much like a jealous girlfriend. You contemplated talking to Lisa about it, someone who gave reasonable advice, but opted not to because Lisa had been trying to get you two together, that it would make her try harder.
Jennie was more guarded than when you first met her. She was still polite and open to talking to you, but you got the impression there was more she wanted to say. She never did, leaving you to wonder.
Then, you happened to be meeting Jinseok and Habin for drinks after work when you saw Jennie sitting alone at the bar. You didn’t want to say hello, but something compelled you to. When you approached, Jennie’s face lit up in surprise, but a small smile formed. You made small talk, asking about her day and what she was doing there, which she said she was waiting for Hyujin in the ladies’ room before they went off to dinner.
You couldn’t help yourself from asking will you go on a date with me, but the words fell from your mouth. You froze, realizing that you didn’t intend to ask her out again, but it happened and she actually agreed.
Jennie chose today as the day, but she’s not even here. You were losing hope that she was even going to show since she’s thirty minutes late. The sympathetic looks you’re receiving from the staff has you feeling low.
You fold the napkin on your lap, placing it on the table. You couldn’t wait anymore, chalking this date as a fluke. She probably didn’t mean to say yes.
When you turn to wave your waitress over, you’re met with the sight of Jennie rushing towards you. She pants, out of breath, once she reaches the table, shaking her head.
“I’m so sorry,” You hear her say, watching her lean on the chair. “My phone died as I was leaving my place, and there was traffic because of the snow.”
You lower your hand, giving her an understanding nod. It didn’t matter if she was another thirty minutes late. None of that matters now because she was always going to show up.
“Happy birthday, Jen,” You say softly, standing to help her take her coat off.
She gives you the brightest smile, which has you absolutely giddy.
--
It’s getting late, but no one in the restaurant seems to mind. It’s practically empty except for a couple of the staff–your waitress included–as they begin setting up to close. You assume they wanted to see how the night would pan out.
This has been the best date you’ve ever been on, and you hope that there’s another and another.
It’s different being with Jennie like this.
You’re so used to being with her with other people around, that being alone with her made you nervous you wouldn’t have anything to talk about. Surprisingly, you had a lot to talk about. She’s much more open with you, telling you about her day and how her coworkers held her up after work to ask more details about the date she was going on. You teased her, which she took in stride because it was a big deal she had a date. She explained she didn’t talk that much about her private life, but it slipped out that she had plans with someone–a man of all people–to celebrate her birthday.
“I didn’t even know it was your birthday. I found out through Lisa’s post.”
“Well, I didn’t want you to think it was a big deal.”
It is a big deal that you’re spending part of her birthday with her, and she knows it. She’s making a statement, and you think you’re understanding it correctly.
You’re also learning Jennie’s much more expressive than she lets on. She’s generally cool and collected, smiling at the right times, when she’s around you and her friends. She’s animated when she tells you about herself, what she likes, dislikes, and how she cried watching a recent drama because it was so sweet. You’ve watched her expressions change throughout the night as she tells you things you’ve never heard about her.
“You didn’t have to pay,” Jennie looks away when the waitress picks up the bill, your card tucked in between the folds. “I’m still sorry for being late.”
“It’s fine,” You wave her off. You planned to pay anyway, regardless if it was her birthday or not. You cared the most about Jennie showing up. She scared you a bit running late, but she’s here.
“You say it is, but I feel terrible about it,” You can tell she means it. “I didn’t want you to be upset.”
“Jennie,” You say softly, reaching for her hand on the table, hoping it wouldn’t be too much. She doesn’t flinch, thankfully. “It’s okay. You’re here. I’m honored you wanted to spend part of today with me.”
“Still,” Jennie pouts, and it makes you want to kiss it away.
“Answer me this then,” You rub the back of her hand with your thumb, “Why’d you finally say yes? I’ve been asking you out for months.”
You can see the wheels turning in her head as she formulates an answer. The waitress is back with the paid bill, giving her time to think of a response as you sign. Once you shut the book, you wait expectantly.
Jennie sighs, this time reaching for your hand, absentmindedly playing with your fingers, “I couldn’t really give you an answer. I’ve seen how you interact with girls and Jisoo-unnie has been in my ear about how you’re a player and not good to women. She even went as far to call you a pig,” You couldn’t stop the eyeroll if you wanted to, which Jennie doesn’t miss. “But after seeing how you were with Mina, it’d made me think Jisoo’s wrong, and that it’d be nice to be with you like that.”
“So you were jealous,” You smirk behind your wine glass. Jennie pinches your skin, but quickly soothes the area with her finger.
“I wouldn’t call it jealousy,” Jennie shakes her head, adding, “I don’t get jealous.”
“Sure.” She’s in denial, but this is still too new for you to start joking with her like that–whatever this is.
“Anyways, I saw a side of you I’ve never seen,” Jennie’s gaze meets yours. “I just thought that could be with me.”
You take a moment to process everything she said, but it’s all jumbled with how she’s looking at you.
The only thought you have right now is that you want to kiss her.
--
“Jennie,” You groan as your back hits the doorknob, metal digging into your body as she presses herself against you.
“What?” Jennie murmurs against your lips, hands swiftly moving to unbutton your coat, shrugging the article of clothing down your shoulders before it hits the hardwood floor.
“We don’t have to do anything,” You moan out after her teeth bite gently on your bottom lip.
You didn’t think the night would end like this.
You offered her a ride home since you drove, and you didn’t exactly trust a stranger since it was late. She declined at first because she lived on the other side of the city, and she didn’t want you to go out of your way. She relented after assuring her that you wanted to, adding sweetly that it was making up for the time spent waiting for her.
You couldn’t explain it, but something shifted once you entered the car. The tension was palpable that you couldn’t do anything but focus on the road. At one point, Jennie took your hand and placed it on her thigh. Her fingers played with your hand, lightly brushing over your skin that had your body shivering underneath her touch.
If Jennie noticed your internal struggle, she didn’t say anything. She kept on talking as if your body wasn’t having a visceral reaction.
As soon as you parked in the driveway, shutting the car off, Jennie turned to you, fingers interlaced, “Do you want to come inside?”
You berated yourself for making a simple question sound so dirty, but you nodded dumbly as Jennie smiled. She let go of your hand and turned away to open the car door. You hurried out of the car to get the door for her, which you were able to open it enough for her to stand up. When you shut the door, she leaned against the car, looking up at you.
Neither of you moved, but all of a sudden, her lips were on yours and your hand shot out to grip the car frame. Her arms encircled around your neck, pulling your body flush against hers. You heard the soft moan as your tongue grazed her bottom lip, automatically granting you access that ignites a fire.
You thought of your first kiss with Jennie in your head multiple times, but the reality was so much better. Her lips were soft, but demanding, as the months leading up this moment boiled over. You felt all the pent up energy in your body leave as your tongues wrestled in a frenzy.
Jennie pulled away, breaking the kiss, as her hand found its way on your chest to gently push you off. You didn’t say anything as she dragged you towards the entrance, dazed from the kiss.
You probably should have paid more attention to your surroundings, but you wrapped your arms around Jennie as she inserted the key into the lock, making sure she knew exactly how she made you feel.
Once the door opened, Jennie pounced.
“I know we don’t,” Jennie tears her lips off yours, trailing kisses on your jaw. “I want you.”
“Are you sure?” Your control’s slipping when she sucks lightly on your neck. You want her, that much was obvious. You also want her in the morning and the next.
“Yes, and before you ask again, yes,” Jennie leans back to look at you, giving you a small nod that she feels the same.
You’re about to say something when Jennie drops to her knees, hands unbuckling your belt and untucking your dress shirt. Your head falls back, hitting the door as she quickly undoes the button.
“I want,” You try to get out but Jennie palms you through your briefs, “To go out again.”
“We will,” Jennie nods, slipping her hand underneath the waistband before a soft fist encircles around your cock. “You’re bigger than I imagined,” She comments as she strokes you slowly.
It goes straight to your head as she frees you from the confines of the fabric, shrugging your pants down mid-thigh. You watch her eyes widen as she sees your cock up close.
“Jennie,” You grit out, the sight of your cock over her face has you losing your balance. You’re thankful the door’s holding you upright.
Jennie gives you an innocent look before her next move has her everything but. She pokes her tongue, flicking your tip, that has you pressing your weight against the door. Your hands ball into a fist as you watch her kiss all over your cock. She licks up and down, swirling over the tip, and you can’t help the guttural groan leaving your body as her lips wrap around the head.
That’s when you knew you were in trouble.
You’re entranced as Jennie slowly takes more of you inside her mouth. You could cum right then and there, and you almost do the moment your tip touches her throat. She coughs slightly, pulling back for air.
“I don’t think I could take you right now,” Jennie whispers, gaze locked on you while her hands don’t remain idle.
“Practice makes perfect,” You quip, ignoring the tension in your stomach as her mouth engulfs you again. Her cheeks hollow out, the suction causing your eyes to roll back. “You’re so good.”
“Am I?” Your cock’s out of her mouth, a resounding pop echoes through the house.
“Yes,” You nod, bringing a gentle hand to thread through her locks. Her expression darkens, eyes filled with lust that has you wondering how far you could go. “So good.”
Jennie raises herself, keeping her hand around your cock. You gulp when she leans against you, breath against your lips, “As much as I’d like to drain you with my mouth, which I will at some point, I need this,” She squeezes your cock, the pain never felt so good, “Inside me.”
You can’t do anything but nod. Jennie literally has you in the palm of her hands, and if she wanted you to fuck her, who are you to say no?
--
You’re doing everything you possibly can to not snap your hips forward. You’ve resorted to doing mental math because the sensation of Jennie’s pussy wrapped around your cock has your head(s) spinning.
Her walls pulse as your length sinks deeper into her. You couldn’t ignore the sounds falling from her mouth, the soft moans and breathy sighs as her body takes you in.
It isn’t without preparation because you spent a fair amount of time in between her legs. You might’ve gotten drunk on her taste, that she had to physically pull you off from overstimulation. You didn’t know how many times she came, but it was evident on your face and the bedsheet.
“You’re too big,” Jennie pants out, hands wrapped around your wrist, gripping tightly that her nails dig into your skin.
“We can stop,” It pains you to say that, but you don’t want to hurt her.
Jennie frantically shakes her head, biting her lip, “No no no. I want it, please.”
“Baby,” The nickname leaves your mouth easily, and her pussy twitches, “Just breathe.”
Her grip loosens as you watch her chest rise slowly before expelling a long breath. Your jaw clenches as you feel your cock slide in more, and you shouldn’t have glanced down.
It’s absolutely filthy the way she sucks you in. You’re over halfway in, and you genuinely didn’t know if you’d be able to last.
“Kiss me.”
You bring your lips down, distracting her and yourself. She moans into your mouth, greedily swallowing every sound and breath as she wraps her arms around your shoulders, pulling you deeper into her body.
“Fuck,” Jennie’s head snaps back, tearing her lips away as her little move brings all of you in.
You swear you feel something leave your body, whether it was your impending orgasm or your soul, you didn’t know. All you know is that having Jennie wrapped around you—tight, wet, and hot—has you burying your face in the crook of her neck.
“You feel so good,” You groan against her skin, pussy tightening at the praise. “Jennie,” You choke out.
“Tell me I’m good,” Jennie commands quietly, and there’s a shift in the air, something you’ve never experienced with any of the women you’ve been with—something darker.
“Who said you were?” You taunt, nipping softly at her ear.
“You don’t think so?” Jennie plays dirty, wrapping her legs around your waist, pulling you deeper into her that has both of you sucking in a breath.
“That definitely wasn’t good,” You grit out as you subtly shift your hips, eyes rolling back as she chuckles.
“I’m sure you could make me,” She kisses you sweetly on the cheek before saying, “You know you want to.”
Things go downhill, or uphill, depending on how you look at it.
In that very moment, her words break something inside you, unleashing the control you tried so hard to keep. You don’t give her, or yourself, any notice when you slide your length out, keeping your tip snug between her lips before thrusting back in, her body jolting at the movement.
“God, yes,” Jennie moans, her limbs hugging you tighter to her body as you start bucking into her, hands sliding underneath her small frame.
You’re not sure if you black out, but the only thing spurring you on is Jennie’s moans and breath on the side of your face as you pump in and out of her slick. You thought it would be difficult, given how long it took for her to take you, but as you move easily within her body, thrusting and rolling your hips to hit that spot inside of her. It’s like she was made for you.
“Jen,” You don’t recognize your voice after a particularly hard thrust and squeeze from her, signaling that you were close.
“That fast?” You don’t need to see her face to know she’s smirking, but it’s a façade. The way she’s pulsing around you proves she’s right there with you.
“You feel so fucking good,” And her pussy reacts, squeezing as her breath hitches, nails scratching down your back. “You like hearing that, huh? Be good for me, baby.”
It happens suddenly, knocking the wind out of you as Jennie’s body seizes, back arching, chest pushed against yours when she screams. A gush of wetness covers you as her orgasm rips through her body, triggering yours that you had no time to pull out. You capture her lips, groaning as you paint her insides white, hips stuttering as her walls throb—pulse—along your cock.
Jennie whines as her wombs fill with your essence, moaning, whispering how good it feels inside her. She rocks her hips, making sure she milks you dry before her limbs sprawl out on the bed.
You’re usually not this reckless, especially when it comes to sex. You tend to use protection, but that seemed to go out the window. Jennie was too determined, too tempting, too hot that it didn’t cross your mind—at all.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You mutter, pulling quickly out as your lust-filled mind clears. Jennie lets out a small gasp. “Fuck I’m so sorry.”
“What? Hey, where are you going?!” Jennie’s legs try to wrap around you before you step away, but you’re quicker.
“We didn’t use protection,” You say harshly, shaking your head at your carelessness.
“Okay? And?” Jennie sits up as you start pacing back and forth in front of her. “I’m clean and on the pill. Are you?”
“Of course I am. I get tested regularly,” You roll your eyes, slightly offended by her accusation.
“Okay, so we’re fine. If I wanted to use a condom, I would’ve made you put one on, so can you just come back to bed. You’re stressing over literally nothing,” Jennie reaches for your arm, pulling you to stand in front of her. “It was great,” She places a soft kiss on your stomach, peering up at you. “Lay with me.”
Jennie’s stronger than she lets on, pulling you down to lay next to her. She rests her head on your chest, locking a leg over yours so you have nowhere to go. It calms you, being wrapped around by her. You sigh contentedly as her finger absentmindedly traces over your abdomen.
“You know,” Jennie says quietly, “I’m sorry for how I’ve been with you since the day we met.”
“You had your reservations, it’s understandable,” You place a soft kiss on her forehead. “But I swear that I’m not that much of a fuckboy as Jisoo makes me out to be.”
Jennie chuckles, shaking her head, “I see that. I do. I think I can trust you.”
“Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend? One date was all it took?” You tease, earning a light slap.
“Maybe take me out some more, and I can see us being together,” Jennie kisses underneath your jaw.
Something blooms in your chest, that same feeling you had when you first saw Jennie all those months ago. It’s scary to feel this strongly about her so quickly, but you’ll lean into the feeling because whether you want to or not, you know you’ll fall in love with her.
If you haven’t already.
“And with how you are in bed,” Jennie murmurs against your skin, “I’m not entirely keen on sharing you with anyone.”
You don’t plan on being with anyone else after her because there’s something there that only she could get to.
Instead of being all sweet and romantic, you opt to respond with a joke, “So you are the jealous type.”
“Possessive might be a better word,” Jennie whispers seductively. “I’m sure it would take very little from me to make you mine.”
“Do I want to be yours?” You quip, rubbing her skin softly.
“I’m sure I could convince you,” Jennie mumbles, kissing you sweetly one last time before she climbs on top of you. “Right?” Her eyes narrow as she subtly grinds along your cock, waking at the movement.
“Maybe,” You nod, eyes locked on her as she smirks.
“Can you go again? Or do you need a break?” Jennie bends forward, meeting your lips with hers. She dips her tongue into your mouth and you moan softly against her.
“I might need some help,” You say sheepishly as she giggles.
“I want you in my mouth anyways,” Jennie murmurs, trailing her lips down your neck as she shifts her body. “I’ll be good.”
And fuck you know she will be.
-- --
“I love you,” Jennie drunkenly mumbles against your lips, wrapping her arms around your neck as she tries to deepen the kiss.
“Baby,” You smile, trying to keep this kiss as PG as possible given you’re at a club with all of your friends.
“I do,” Jennie pulls away, pouting.
That’s the thing you’ve learned about Jennie these past few months. She doesn’t talk about her feelings a lot, but when she does, it’s one of the things you love the most about her.
And yes, you love her. You’re in love with her. You told her after three months of making it official. She didn’t say it back, nor did you expect to. She keeps her feelings to herself, only sharing them with her closest friends. As time went on, she opened up, telling you how she felt in not so many words, but enough to know she was falling for you, hard.
“I love you too, Jen,” You grin, watching her roll her eyes underneath the strobe lights.
“You’re not hearing me, I love you,” Jennie crosses her arms. “Like I’m in love with you.”
Oh.
“You’re drunk,” You shake your head because her telling you she’s in love with you, drunk, in the club, with all your friends around, wasn’t how you expected this confession.
“I am,” Jennie nods, scooting closer to you enough to swing her legs over yours. “But I know what I’m saying and I’m in love with you.”
“You’ll tell me again in the morning?” You raise an eyebrow, not wanting to get your hopes up.
Jennie nods, leaning forward to kiss you again. “I’ll show you just how much I love you till then.”
You tap her legs, moving them away, before standing up. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?” Jennie asks as you pull her up, interlacing your fingers together.
“Home,” You say simply, and she gives you the brightest smile before nodding.
“Make me cum tonight, yeah?” Jennie whispers seductively in your ear.
Like you won’t.
--
You’ve always been a light sleeper, and when you feel the bed dip, you wake up slowly. You watch Jennie slip on your shirt, feet padding into the bathroom.
Last night was intense in the best kind of way.
Jennie showed you exactly how much she loved you by the way she rode you until you came inside her. She wouldn’t let you rest, keeping your cock inside of her until you got hard again. She begged you to keep fucking her, the word daddy got thrown around, and that was it for you.
Right before she came, she told you she loved you again and you let her come around your cock as you fucked her from behind, thrusting inside of her before you met your release.
Jennie’s back in the room, sliding underneath the blanket before snuggling into your side. “I know you’re awake.”
“What gave me away?” You ask, clearing your throat when you realize your voice is thick with sleep.
“You always wake up whenever I leave the bed,” Jennie murmurs.
“Can’t help that I miss you as soon as you go.”
“Such a sweet talker,” Jennie giggles, “But I do have something to tell you.”
You wait, giving her the time she needs to gather her thoughts.
Jennie lets out a shaky breath before looking at you, “I love you. Like I’m in love with you, and you know that I’m not really someone who expresses my feelings, but yeah I’m in love with you. I think I was always going to since the day I met you.”
You smile, closing your eyes contentedly. “Thanks.”
“What?” Jennie slaps your chest. “Say it back!”
“I love you, Jen,” You open one eye, “You’ve known this.”
“I know,” Jennie huffs, slapping your chest again. “But still.”
“Careful, I don’t need you getting all soft on me now,” You tease and she huffs against your neck.
You might be joking, but you know how serious Jennie’s being. She’s never had a relationship, and you feel some pressure being her first. It’s not enough to have you running because you want to make this work.
She is, after all, the woman you’re going to marry.
-- -- --
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andvys · 15 days
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter sixteen ⭐︎ Hold me, love me, touch me, honey
Warnings: 18+ minors don’t interact! smut, unprotected sex, *cough* breeding kink *cough*, slight allusions to pregnancy? but not really. not proofread... ignore any mistakes please
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve's newfound feelings awaken something else in him when you reveal a little secret to him.
Word count: 7.9k+
Author’s note: I'm sorry for taking so long with this chapter, I hope it was worth the wait though and that you guys will enjoy it! shoutout to @hellfire--cult for helping with this as always hehe ♡
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter
The aching in your head is the first thing you feel when you wake from your deep sleep, the throbbing pain making you groan in displeasure. When you open your eyes, you quickly shut them again, it’s not even that bright in the room, the curtains are closed but the little light that peeks through is still enough to hurt your sensitive eyes. You scrunch your nose and raise your hands up towards your face, hiding your eyes with your palms, you roll over on your side and sink your face into Steve’s pillow. 
You can still taste the beer in your mouth and it brings back the nausea that has been haunting you for a while. 
You raise your head and touch the spot beside you, sliding your palm back and forth, only to find Steve’s side of the bed empty. 
He is downstairs, you can hear the radio, it’s not even loud but your ears could pick up any sound right now. 
You squint open your eyes and give yourself a moment to adjust to the light, you stretch your arms out and inhale his scent that lingers all around you, embracing the fluttering in your heart. You slowly push yourself up but keep the covers over your body, looking over at the nightstand on your side of the bed, a smile appears on your face when you see the glass of water and Advil along with a little note ‘drink up, blondie – and come downstairs for coffee and breakfast’. Your dry mouth is begging for the water, you scoot over and reach for it, gladly grabbing the painkiller too, you throw it into your mouth and wash it down with the water. 
From the corner of your eye, you see the clothes you wore the night before, the skirt he slid down your body, the top and the bra he took off for you before he helped you put on his shirt. 
Pictures of last night start flashing in your mind, you remember how he held your hand and how he kissed you, how he held you and refused to let you out of his sight. He was soft with you, gentle and sweet — how you always wished him to be with you. 
Was it because of how you acted? Because of the side you always refused to show? 
The alcohol in your system revealed something you were always afraid to show, a you that you’ve always kept sacred, because you were too afraid to show your real self to people, the gentle and caring side, the loving one that craved intimacy and affection so so badly. This side of you is too vulnerable and you don’t like it, you don’t like to be perceived that way. You’d rather let people keep seeing you like this — rough, mean and cold. They won’t know if you’re hurt, they won’t see through your act, they won’t see you, and you want to keep it that way. 
Embarrassment fills you the longer you think of how you were around him, how giddy and happy you were, how love guided you to kiss him and treat him as though he was your boyfriend when he wasn’t, when he isn’t, when he will never be. 
How will you face him after last night? 
What does he think of you now? 
Will he treat you differently now? 
Can you just pretend like you don’t remember a single thing and you can both go back to normal?
You throw the covers off your body and get up from the bed, making a trip to the bathroom to brush your teeth, wash your face and comb through your hair to make yourself look more presentable before you walk downstairs to join Steve in the kitchen. 
Your heart starts doing pitter patters the closer you get to him, feeling nervous to look into his eyes and trying to pretend like everything is normal between you both like his soft touches didn’t fill you with a sliver of hope – something that makes you feel like a fool, there is no hope, there shouldn’t be, but your stupid heart can’t understand that. 
When you walk into the kitchen and you look out the window, you realize that it’s not even that bright out, the sun is only peeking through the big clouds, drops of rain roll down the windows, and the faintest sound of thunder rumbles through the sky, overpowering the music playing from the radio. 
Goosebumps rise up on your skin, an unsettling feeling appears in your stomach but you’re not afraid, despite how uneasy you feel, you’re not afraid, because you aren’t alone, because you’re with him. 
It smells like coffee and waffles, the mixed scents making your lips curl into an excited smile. 
Steve is standing with his back to you, finishing up on the waffles that he’s already got a stacked up plate of, he is sipping on his coffee and you wonder how long he has been up for already. 
His head is slightly banging along to the music, his hair is still messy, uncombed and unstyled, he is wearing a white tank top and sweatpants, he looks so cozy – that’s how you love him the most. 
You take in a shaky breath and open your mouth to speak, to say good morning, to say something as the nervousness seeps in deeper but he beats you to it, as though he can feel your eyes on him, he turns around to face you, his hazel eyes lighten up at the sight of you, the smugness that sinks into his features makes you shrink into yourself a little, your cheeks heat up and you suddenly feel flustered. 
“Good morning, Blondie,” he smirks, eyeing you up and down as he takes you in, how you look in his shirt – he will never get tired of this sight. “How are you feeling?” 
“Morning,” you murmur as you make your way over to the coffee maker, you reach for one of the mugs in the cupboard and place it on the counter, pouring yourself some coffee, you take your time turning back to him as you try to calm your nerves and your blushing. “Good… surprisingly.”
Steve chuckles behind you, you hear his footsteps and how he opens the fridge, getting something out of it before closing it again. 
“Yeah, you were pretty drunk last night,” he clears his throat and you suddenly feel his breath on your shoulder and his hand on your waist as he places the creamer on the counter before you, “no hangover?” 
His hand lingers and he doesn’t step away just yet. 
“Thanks,” you murmur as you reach for the creamer and pour some into your coffee, “my head hurts a little but I feel fine.” 
Steve nods behind you, he squeezes your waist and fights the urge to just turn you around and steal your breath away by kissing you deeply. 
“Did you drink the water and the Advil I put on the nightstand?” 
He doesn’t remove his hand, even when you turn around to face him, he leaves it on your waist. 
You cup the mug with both hands and bring it up to your lips, taking a sip as you look up into his eyes. The burning in your cheeks is still there, the heat matching the one of the hot beverage in your hands. 
“Yeah, I did.” 
“Good,” he nods, eyeing your face slowly. 
He can tell that you’re flustered and shy even – that is a rare sight to see, it makes the fluttering in his heart so much stronger. 
You blink as you stare up at him and take another sip, squirming a little when he takes a step closer. 
Steve can’t help but chuckle to see you blushing, he brings his hand up towards your face, slipping his fingers through your hair before he tucks it behind your ear. 
“Do you want another kissy?” 
Your lips part and your eyes widen, more embarrassment rushes through you at his teasing. 
Steve chuckles again when you roll your eyes and groan. 
“Stop!” You whine, not knowing that this sound only makes him adore you even more. “I was so drunk!”
“Yeah? I couldn’t tell,” he snorts, shaking his head in amusement. 
“That was the alcohol talking,” you murmur, lying. 
“Was it?” He asks, furrowing his brows as he tilts his head to the side, adoringly so. “I don’t know, I really liked this Blondie. She was so cute and touchy.” 
Whether he’s teasing or mocking you, your heart doesn’t seem to care as it beats even faster in your chest. The thought that Steve could find you cute makes you feel giddy and it fills you with a sense of happiness only he can make you feel. 
You roll your eyes at him but he chuckles as a smile tugs at your lips. 
Steve’s hand moves from the side of your face to your shoulder and then to your waist again. 
“Don’t get me wrong, your mean side grew on me but you were so adorable last night.” 
Adorable. 
He is teasing you, you are sure that he is just teasing you, the smirk on his lips, the glowing mischief in his eyes gives him away. 
“Don’t forget your waffles,” you blurt out, not knowing what else to say to that. 
He huffs in amusement and squeezes your waist once more before he steps away from you, making his way back to the kitchen counter, he opens the waffle maker and takes out the last one, placing it on the plate before he turns his head to look at you. 
“Come on, I already set up the table.” 
You turn to look at the round kitchen table, seeing it set up just the way it was the first time he made you breakfast. 
Warmth blooms in your chest and your eyes soften. 
He held you in his arms when you fell asleep last night, he got up before you just to make you breakfast – your favorite kind too. 
Is he like that with everyone? 
Does he treat all his hookups like this? 
Does he make them breakfast too or hold them in his arms until they fall asleep?
Or are you the only one that gets all this? 
You don’t even know if he is seeing anyone, if someone else occupies your side of his bed when you don’t see each other. 
Your eyes follow him as he makes his way over to the table and places the plate full of waffles in the middle. 
The thought that someone else might get this too makes you feel uneasy, upset, and hurt. 
He looks at you with furrowed brows, looking as you stand there with a frown on your face, holding the mug against your chest as you stare at him. 
“Come here, your waffles are gonna get cold.” 
You blink, snapping out of the thoughts that leave you with a bitter taste on your tongue. 
You nod and step away from the kitchen counter, you hold the mug tightly in your hands as you make your way over to him. 
Steve pulls back the chair for you, waiting for you to take a seat. 
You try to hide the surprise and the blush on your face as you hide your face behind your hair and turn your back to him as you sit down but it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he smiles to himself, adoring this shy side of you. 
“Eat, Blondie,” he murmurs, patting your shoulder before he walks around the table and takes the seat across from you, “we need to get some energy back in you.” 
“Yeah, I actually agree,” you chuckle, picking up a waffle for your fork, “I feel like there’s a huge hole in my stomach.”
“You need to eat more,” he says sternly. “You devoured that chicken sandwich last night.”
“Mhmm it was heavenly,” you nod and pour some syrup on your waffle, “especially after all the beers I’ve had.” 
Steve chuckles, picking up the bowl with strawberries and raspberries, he puts them on your plate, “you need some vitamins too.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Shut up,” he snorts. 
A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, only the sound of the radio continues on. You eat your waffles and drink your coffees, sharing glances and sweet smiles, a few comments here and there, his foot touching your own under the table. This is nice. You could get used to this.
If only you knew that he feels the same. 
Steve watches you, how you comfortably sit here with him, enjoying the breakfast that he made for you, you’re much quieter than you were last night and he can’t help but miss the other side of you — the clingy and touchy one, the one that asked for kisses and even peppered his face in them. He wonders if you even remember any of it or the things you’ve said to him. You rambled so much, that you probably forgot about the comments you made. 
He takes a sip of his coffee and clears his throat, “do you remember what you said to me last night?” 
Despite remembering everything, you can’t help but panic slightly, wondering if there’s a small detail you can’t recall, that you might’ve said something you tried to keep secret, that you accidentally revealed your feelings, or even confessed your love for him. 
“Uh… I think I’ve said a lot,” you chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your neck as you straighten your back. 
He laughs and nods, “yeah you did, but you told me you had a surprise for me. What’s that about?”
The look on his face is a curious one, his head is tilted to the side, tapping his fingers against his mug. 
A surprise. 
Oh, you surely remember that and what you meant by ‘surprise’ and you can’t help but curse inwardly at your drunken self for thinking that it was a good idea to mention it as that. 
Heat rushes to your cheeks again and the nervousness inside of you returns once more. 
“Ah, right uh… it’s not exactly a surprise but uh…” you pause, not knowing how to start this conversation, sensing the awkwardness that is about to ruin this comforting moment already. 
He raises his brows at you, waiting for you to continue. 
You take a deep breath, breaking eye contact for a moment to look out the window. 
“Um, do you remember those three days we didn’t see each other before Vickie’s party?” You ask and look back at him. 
“Yeah.” 
“I went to the doctor one of those days…” 
His eyes widen a little, his heart skips a beat as some kind of hope swirls inside of him and a million questions start running through his mind. 
“Oh?” Is the only thing he can say as the excitement for something that probably doesn’t even exist starts building up. 
You bounce your knee and hold your mug tightly, blinking as you stare into his hazel eyes. 
“Yeah I um… I got an IUD.” 
Steve blinks a few times. 
“I’m sorry, what?” He asks in confusion, he expected something else. 
You huff, getting more and more nervous as each second passes. 
“An IUD… Birth control? Didn’t you learn that in school Lego Head?”
He nods quickly and furrows his brows again, “I know what it is, I’m just wondering why.”
The heat in your cheeks intensifies and suddenly glows so hotly, embarrassment flushes through you and as he stares at you, completely lost and confused, you feel like a deer caught in headlights. 
You had never used birth control before him, or even thought about it, you would’ve never gone without protection with anyone else, birth control or not but with Steve, it’s different. You want him. You want to feel him. You want him closer and more intimately. That one time wasn’t enough, how could it ever be? 
But while you kept thinking about this, wishing for a repeat, he clearly didn’t want the same. 
“J-Just in case,” you mumble with a shaky voice, not realizing just how nervous and small your voice sounds. 
The gears in his head start turning, though very slowly and he is still staring with parted lips and widened eyes. 
He knows what you mean by that, he knows what you want and he wants it too, he’s been wanting it so badly, he’s been thinking about it day and night, when you’re with him or not — he wants you, he wants to feel you again and again. 
He just can’t believe you fucking said that.
You blink and look down, clearing your throat as you close your eyes, feeling regret settling in the pit of your stomach.
“Just, forget I said that, it's just another measure of contraceptive, we don't need um — you know to lose the other, just to make sure you know! The IUD might fail…” You clear your throat, knowing that an IUD's failure is only... like 2%. 
Your heart starts beating wildly in your chest and you feel the need to escape this awkward situation and him. 
“I uh, I’m gonna get changed and go home… and we can talk later,” you mumble and get up from the chair, not looking into his eyes, “thanks for breakfast…” 
You rush out of the room and away from him before he can even react or say a single world. You hurry up the stairs and walk back into his room, gathering your clothes as quickly as you can. 
“You’re so stupid,” you murmur under your breath, cursing at yourself. 
What were you thinking? That he wanted you like this? That he would care and get excited about something that wouldn’t mean anything to him?  
You don’t listen to the footsteps in the hallway or the door that opens behind you but you yelp in surprise when you feel his hands on your waist and he turns you around, ripping the skirt from your hands that you were just about to put on, he throws it back on the bed and cups your cheeks, nearly making you gasp from how dark and lust filled his eyes are. 
“You can’t just tell me that you’re letting me fuck you raw and then run out on me.” 
“I—“ 
With his lips against your own, he cuts you off roughly, not letting you finish whatever you were about to say as he kisses you with desperation in his touch as his hands move from your cheeks down to your waist and he grips it tightly. 
You whimper in need, throwing your arms around his neck, you ignore the surprise and the pounding in your chest. You deepen the kiss and bury your fingers in his messy hair. 
His lips taste like coffee and the sweetness from the waffles, his chest is pressed against yours tightly, so tightly that you can feel the beating of his own heart. He slips his tongue into your mouth and you feel him against your stomach, making you squeeze your legs together as you feel heat pooling in your lower stomach. 
And just like that, all your worries, all your overthinking disappear into nothing as pleasure takes over your body. 
The kiss is messy, his lips smack against yours continuously, his hands grope your body over his shirt that he wants to get rid of. 
Steve always feels eager and desperate to fuck you, to strip you off your clothes and taste you, to pleasure you with his tongue and his fingers, to take you in a way no one else can but he isn’t sure if he ever felt this kind of need before. He feels as though his skin is on fire, the burning seeping through his flesh and only you can mend it. 
His dick strains against his boxers and his sweatpants, almost hurting from how hard it is and he can’t help but growl against your lips when you slide your hand down his body and start to palm him over his clothes. 
He slips his hands under your shirt, touching your hot skin with his cold fingers. 
The sound of your whimper only pushes him further into you, gaining dominance in the kiss as his tongue moves against yours eagerly. 
He pulls away just enough to murmur against your lips, “you drive me crazy, Blondie.” 
You can’t hold back the whine that falls from your lips, you almost feel embarrassed for what he turns you into every time he touches you. 
His eyes are dark, almost unrecognizable, he looks hungry, like he’s starving, for you. And it does little to mend your own hunger. 
He grabs your waist tighter and picks you up, catching you off guard when he throws you on his bed, making you bounce on the mattress. 
Steve makes quick work of getting rid of his tank top before he crawls on top of you, spreading your thighs with his knee and reaching for the hem of your shirt, he practically rips it off of your body and exposes your bare chest to him, his eyes grow even darker in the process. 
He grabs your boobs with his large hands, pinching your nipples, he leans down and hovers over you. 
“Steve!” You moan, lips parting as you chase after his lips. 
“Keep moaning like that for me,” he murmurs before he smashes his lips back against yours, kissing you just as roughly as before. 
You close your eyes and reach for his shoulders, holding tightly onto him as you move your lips against his, melting into the kiss. 
You don’t even bother to try and fight for dominance, you won’t win, not today. Steve is in control, and you don’t mind, not for a single second. The pace of the kiss, the touch of his hands, his moans, and the roughness of his lips turn you into a desperate mess as you arch your back and lean into his touch, trying to grind against him. 
Your panties are already damp, the material clinging to your pussy and you just want him to rip them off you just as he did with the shirt. 
As though he can read your mind, he slips his hand down your stomach, his fingers reach the flimsy material that still covers you. He presses your hips down before he touches you the way you’ve been whining for. He groans into the kiss when he feels how wet you are, knowing that he is the cause of it. 
“Is that all for me?” He asks, not moving away from your lips, he rubs circles on your clothed clit, making you whine for more. 
“You know it is!” You don’t feel ashamed to admit it, you don’t bother to hide something that is so obvious anyway. 
He chuckles in satisfaction as he moves his middle and ring finger lower, teasing your entrance. 
“D-Don’t tease me,” you beg, pleading with your eyes as you dig your fingers into his shoulders.
“You’re so desperate for me, aren’t you?” He smirks, pecking your lips as he moves your panties to the side. “So desperate that you want me to fuck you raw, huh?” He asks as he slips his fingers through your wet folds, gathering your slick and bringing his digits up to your clit. 
“Yes!” You whine as you buck your hips up, grinding against his fingers. 
“You want me to cum inside of you again, don’t you? Want me to fill you up, honey?” He asks as he continues to tease your clit before he slips two fingers into your dripping hole. 
You suck in a sharp breath, closing your eyes as a loud moan escapes you, he catches it with his lips, smashing his mouth back against yours, stealing your breath with the kiss and the pace of his fingers as he starts to drag them in and out of you, keeping your legs spread with his left hand. 
He lets you adjust for a moment, spreading you open with his long fingers, he kisses you deeply and grinds against your thigh, getting desperate for relief himself. 
The touch of your hand and the feeling of your lips against his own makes his heart flutter and his dick twitch in anticipation. 
This moment is all so driven by lust but he can no longer deny the way you make him feel, the way he needs to feel you close otherwise he might go insane, he wonders if you feel the same, if that is the reason why you want him in a whole new way. 
You clench around his fingers and move your hips, wanting more, wanting him deeper. You mewl against his lips when he curls his fingers inside of you and his thumb presses against your aching clit. 
“Do you hear that?” He asks breathlessly, pecking your lips over and over again. “You’re dripping for me.” 
Steve admires the scrunch of your nose and the furrowed brows, the desperate look in your eyes as you look into his. Your skin is flushed, your chest is rising up and down heavily, your nipples hardened from the coldness in the room and the pleasure in your bones, you’re getting wetter and tighter around his fingers. 
“But you want more, right?” He asks and leans down to wrap his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it, “you want me to breed you, don’t you?” 
His words are driven by lust, a part of him he doesn’t recognize shining through, surprising both you and himself. 
You gasp, your cheeks flushing even deeper as the heat rages underneath your skin. You feel too shy to admit it but this might be exactly what you wanted. 
You liked it when he fucked you against his door, when he came inside of you and his cum rolled down your thighs, you loved it even, despite how messy it was, you loved it because it was him. 
You nod and shut your eyes again, your mouth waters at the feeling of his fingers hitting your g-spot and you arch your back in pleasure as your hands find their way back to his hair, pulling and playing with it, making him match his moans with yours. 
“P-Please, Steve…” You whimper as you feel the fire building up in your stomach, beginning to crash over you, “I’m so close.”
Steve starts kissing your chest and making his way up to your neck, tilting your head to the side to suck a mark onto your delicate skin as he continues to fuck you, faster and rougher, moaning at the squelching sounds and your pretty whimpers. 
“Yeah?” He breathes, peppering kisses along your neck and your jaw, “are you gonna be a good girl for me and cum around my fingers?” 
“Yes!” 
Your breathing gets heavier, your heart starts pounding faster and you can’t help but reach for his face, dragging him back to you so you can slam your lips back against his as your fingers dig into his hair roughly when he rubs your clit faster, throwing you over the edge with his touch. 
You kiss each other feverishly, you scrunch your eyes shut, letting the pleasure take control, letting him slam his fingers in and out of your pussy, causing tears to build up in your eyes from the hot intensity. 
“Let go for me,” he whispers against your lips, “cum for me.” 
One more thrust and a deeper swipe against your clit has you crying out his name in pleasure and this time, he lets you shut your legs around his arm, though that doesn’t stop him from moving his fingers still. 
Stars flash in your vision and the wind gets knocked out of you, the overwhelming high crashing over your body. 
“S-Steve,” you whimper. 
“Yes?” He kisses your lips. “Tell me what you want.”
“You!” 
“Me?” He smirks, licking his lips as he looks down, watching the way your thighs are shaking already. “How do you want me? Tell me, honey.”
You are so deep in your pleasure, no shame, no shyness exists for you in this very moment. You are so eager to feel him the way you’ve been craving him for weeks now. 
“I want your cock, Steve–” You whine, tugging at his hair. “Please fuck me!” 
He chuckles darkly, eyes growing five shades darker, something in him awakens, something that had never been there before, not even the night of Vickie’s party. 
He pulls his fingers out of you, fighting the urge to stick them into your mouth and make you lick and suck on them. He grabs your hips and manhandles you on your stomach, knocking the breath out of you again. He slaps your ass and gropes it roughly. 
“Stevie!” 
“Get on all fours for me.” 
You whine, gripping the sheets underneath you tightly as you look back at him over your shoulder, nearly pouting at him but he only slaps your ass again. 
“C’mon Blondie, wanted me to breed you, we gotta do it the right way.” 
His fingers are still coated with your slick as he pushes his sweatpants and boxers down, making his dick slap against his stomach, pre cum rolls down his length, his tip is red, he is aching for you and twitching in anticipation, knowing that he gets to fuck you without a condom.  
Steve expects you to push yourself up on your hands and knees but instead, you worsen his hunger by pressing your front against the mattress and pushing your ass up, presenting yourself to him. 
“Holy fuck,” he curses, biting back the growl that threatens to fall from his lips as he takes in the sight of you. Your pussy glistens, the arch in your back is deep, your ass up high and you look over your shoulder again, giving him a pout and desperate eyes as you beg him to fuck you and fill you up. 
The hunger in him is insatiable, he already knows it, he will never get enough of this, he will never get enough of you and he doesn’t mind, not even after last night’s realization and how easy it could now be for you to crush his heart — it’s yours now. 
He wishes that he could take a picture of this and keep it in his wallet. 
He moves closer to you, grabbing your ass and sliding his palms over your cheeks before he grips your hip tightly, slipping his already soaked fingers through your folds, he gathers your slick and uses it as lubricant to stroke his dick before he presses himself against you, pressing his lips together as he looks down at your pussy. 
“I can’t believe you’re letting me do this,” he murmurs as he teases you with his tip, circling it around your dripping entrance, moaning at the sight of it. 
“P-Please,” you whimper, pressing your ass back against him, prompting him to hold your hip even tighter as he slips his length through your wet folds, continuing to tease you and himself.  “Just fuck me already!” 
The tone in your voice is nowhere near demanding, it’s anything but that, you're whiny and desperate – you are showing a sight only he is allowed to see. 
The excitement is burning in him, his own desperation eating at him. Seeing you like this makes him want to do things he has never done before. His fingers dig into your flesh and he sucks in a sharp breath as he slowly pushes into you. 
Your name falls from his lips in a moan, his eyelashes flutter as the pleasure finally envelopes him. With one hand on your hip and the other now grabbing your ass, he inches inside of you, groaning at the sight of your puffy lips around his length. 
“Oh my god,” you whimper, gripping the sheets tightly and shutting your eyes as you feel him splitting you open. 
“You’re taking me so fucking good, baby,” he praises you, smacking his palm against your cheek once again, making you jerk and gasp in pleasure. “You’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” 
Your stomach flutters at his words, as your walls do around his length, causing him to moan as he pushes in deeper and deeper until he’s buried inside of you, completely. 
“Y-Yes, Steve!” You cry out. “I’m your good girl!”
You are both doing things and saying words you never thought you’d ever use, whether it’s the pleasure that is controlling you both, the desperation or something in the atmosphere but neither of you care, this is nice, this is perfect. 
“That’s right,” he growls as he pulls out and slams back in, making you cry out his name. 
Steve starts rolling his hips, roughly and desperately, picking up the pace with every thrust, making you both moan and whimper in pleasure. His cock hitting deep in every right spot, making you drool already. 
You hold onto the sheets, your eyes roll back as filthy sounds fall from your lips. You want to look back and watch him, see how good he looks fucking you like this but you find no energy to lift yourself up or turn your head. Your chest is pressed against the mattress beneath you, Steve’s hands feel so right on your hips, molding into your skin so perfectly. Waves of pleasure crash over you, making you arch your back even further, giving him an even deeper angle. 
You gasp in surprise, eyes shooting open when his large palm smacks against your flesh again. 
“You’re so filthy, honey,” Steve moans, his eyes nearly roll back as he feels your tight walls clench around him, prompting him to hold you tighter and fuck you harder, snapping his hips against your ass. “Letting me fuck you like this, wanting me to cum in this tight little pussy.” 
You feel his throbbing length, the veins on his cock, his balls slapping against your sensitive skin, the roughness of his touch and the eagerness in his voice – it overwhelms you in the best way possible, especially when you feel him growing more and more desperate the closer he gets to his high. 
“Y-Your cock feels so good!” You whimper, your head falling and your eyes closing, tears slipping from your eyes. 
“Yeah?” He breathes as he looks down at the way he is slamming in and out of you, his length glistening with your slick, your wet walls hugging his dick perfectly. You keep clenching around him, making him throb and twitch inside of you, making him whine in a way he isn’t sure he ever did before – but one thing is for sure, Steve had never felt anything like this before, and he knows he never will again after you. “Your pussy feels like fucking heaven.”
Your walls flutter around him, drool slips past your lips and down on the rumpled bed sheets, you can feel your second high approaching, you can feel the tension in your stomach, the ache in your clit. 
Steve fucks you mercilessly, dragging you back and forth on the mattress as though you are his personal fucktoy. And for a moment, you both don’t share any words, only your moans of desperation and need fill the room, the wet sounds of his dick slamming into your weeping pussy, the bed creaking beneath you, and the occasional smacks against your ass. 
His hair clings to his sweaty forehead, his cheeks are glowing red, and he doesn’t know where to look, he wants to see your face, he wants to keep staring at the way his dick disappears into you – this feels surreal, like it’s something that came straight out of his dreams. 
He feels the need to make you scream, so he slides his hand under you, his fingers finding your clit with ease, he begins to play with your sensitive nub as he changes his pace to slower but deeper and harsher. 
You gasp and twitch beneath him, trying to push yourself up only to fall back down again, the sight of it making him chuckle darkly. 
“Steve!” You scream out, feeling just how sensitive you are when he rubs your clit faster. “I-I’m so close!”
He can’t help himself when he leans down and presses his lips against your shoulder blades, murmuring against your skin, “do it, cum around my cock, baby.” 
Stars and tears blur your vision, the feeling of his lips on your skin only adding to the pleasure, the softness of it a stark contrast to the harshness of his thrusts, the sweet nickname and the swipe against your clit throwing you over the edge completely and you’re suddenly cumming and screaming out for him. 
“B-Baby,” he murmurs in a mix of a whimper and a growl, hands flying back to your hips, he grabs you tightly as he feels your walls clinging to him, making him shudder. “I’m gonna… fuck…” He groans, going to pull out, out of instinct. “I need to–”
“Cum inside of me, Stevie!” You sob as his fingers still move against your clit. “Please, please, please!” 
He can’t even control it, your words hit him so hard and he suddenly cums, hard. He spills inside of you with a loud moan and a whimper of your name, he paints your walls white and he keeps moving, even as his eyes roll back and he grows sensitive. All of this turns him on even more, not even after he reaches his high, if anything, his hunger is even more insatiable now. 
He slows his thrusts and he breathes heavily, his eyes are still clouded with lust, moans still falling as he takes in the sound of your whiny whimpers. 
Steve licks his lips as he pulls out after a moment, despite not wanting to but the vision in front of him is so worth it, his cum leaks out of your pussy and starts to roll down your thighs. He doesn’t know what gets over him when an animalistic growl falls from his lips and he gathers his cum with his fingers and pushes it back inside of you. 
“Don’t wanna let any of it go to waste,” he smirks when you whine even louder. 
You’re surprised and incredibly turned on by his action, you have to press your shaking thighs together, the ache in your center growing bigger despite the two orgasms you just had.
“Steve…”
Steve is staring at your pussy, at the way you’re sucking his fingers in, at the mess he made of you, how can he not grow hard all over again? 
“God, that’s so fucking hot,” he murmurs under his breath. 
He pushes his fingers in and out of you, admiring the way he pushes his cum deeper back inside of you – somehow the thought of what could happen if you didn’t have an IUD turns him on even more. Steve keeps going, using the same slow pace for a while, getting lost in you before he snaps back as your whimper tears him back into reality – but he wants more, he needs more, and he decides to keep you here with him, all day.
“I got you,” he whispers, pulling his fingers out and cleaning them off on his messed up sheets before he starts kissing up your body, letting his lips linger on your shoulder before he wraps his arm around you and flips you over on your back. 
His lust filled eyes intensify when he sees the tears pooling on your lower lash line, the needy look in your own eyes. He cups your cheek and presses his lips against yours for a short kiss, craving more of you. 
You reach your arm out weakly, and kiss him back, savoring this moment for as long as you can before he pulls away again and collapses on the bed beside you, he places his hand on your thigh, keeping it there as he starts breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. 
Silence falls over the both of you, you stare up at the ceiling, too speechless to speak, too stunned with what just happened. 
His fingertips stroke your skin, your heart is pounding in your chest, your legs quivering as his cum leaks out of you, making you press your thighs together. 
You can’t believe that you would ever be turned on by something like this, that you’d ever be here, that you’d ever do something like this with him. 
You want more and more. 
You blink, a lazy smile tugging at your lips, the fluttering in your heart and stomach taking over again. 
“So…” Steve mumbles, turning his head to look at you, to admire your beautiful side profile, “can we discard the condom from now on?” 
“Only if you wrap it up for… others,” you mumble, wincing at your own words as you don’t want to ruin the moment for yourself by thinking of this. 
Steve furrows his brows, smile falling a little. 
You think that there are others? 
You think that he could even think of being with someone else, let alone like this? 
He squeezes your thigh reassuringly, “there are no others, don’t worry about it.” He says softly. 
Your features soften and a weight falls off your shoulders and your heart, and still you can’t help but feel surprised about his confession. 
“You are the only one, Blondie.” 
He wants you dead. 
You are so sure of it, Steve Harrington wants you dead. 
Why else would he say such words to you? 
“O-Oh?” 
Steve is so in bliss, he doesn’t even notice the blush in your cheeks and the quivering tone in your voice.
“Yeah, and what about you?” 
You turn your head to look at him, you lock your eyes with his. 
What about you? 
You can never touch another man again, that is for sure. No matter what the outcome of this thing between you will be, you’re ruined, utterly ruined. 
You blink, heat flushing over your body the longer you look at him, at his messy hair that you always want to bury your fingers in, the hazel in his eyes that is now your favorite color, his puffy lips that you want to kiss, moles you want to count and trace with the tips of your fingers. 
God, he is beautiful. 
“There are no others for me either,” you whisper, feeling exposed and vulnerable to admit it to him. 
The smile that appears on his face catches you off guard, he seems… happy about it? 
And he is, he truly is. 
Steve doesn’t want you to be with anyone else, he doesn’t want you to see other men, kiss them or let them touch you the way he is allowed to. He wants to be the only one for you, he wants to be your only one. 
He squeezes your thigh again, scooting closer to you, he eyes your face and lets them linger on your lips. 
“Guess we’re exclusive then huh?” He asks with a smirk on his lips. 
Your breath hitches in your throat, hope flickering inside of you, the anxiety you felt over thoughts of him with other girls diminishing just like that. 
You try to act normal, like you aren’t fazed by his words, like your heart didn’t burst, like this isn’t anything special. 
You clear your throat, “seems like it.” 
He chuckles, hiding the happiness that flutters in him. 
This is what he wants, this is what he has been craving for a while now, to have you all to himself, to be the only to touch you, to taste you, to fuck you, to fill you up and claim you as his own. 
“You got anything to do today, Blondie?” 
“I uh… I was gonna meet up with Eddie—“
“Cancel it.” 
You raise your brows in surprise, confusion flashes in your features but your heart slips a beat when you see the darkening in his eyes again and the feeling of his hand gripping you tighter and harder. 
“What?”
He moves closer and closer until his lips are on your jaw and he tilts your head to the side so he can kiss your neck, nibbling at your skin and pressing his hand against your sensitive core again. 
“Cancel. It.” He rasps into your neck. 
A gasp tears from your lips when he slips his fingers back into your pussy, morning at the feeling of his cum inside of you. 
“You don’t need anyone but me today,” he whispers as he presses another kiss against your neck and curls his fingers inside of you. 
You bite your lip and moan when he spreads your legs with his free hand, his long fingers pushing deeper into you — you are so sensitive, so overstimulated but just like him, you can’t get enough, you want more. 
“Steve…” 
“Mhmm.” He murmurs against your neck, peppering kisses along your skin, “I know, baby. I’m gonna take good care of you.” 
And taking good care he did. He fingered you in bed until you saw stars, mesmerized by how his own spent worked as lube, mixed with your own juices. You felt exhausted after that, so he drew a bath for you and even helped you wash your hair, knowing your limbs were all tired out.
But he couldn’t have enough of you. Not when you got into his mustard sweater because you felt a little chilly, leaving your legs bare. He wanted to give you more time to relax but he couldn’t help himself while making lunch, so he had to bend you over the kitchen counter to make you scream again.
Overstimulation was very much present, to the both of you, but you couldn’t stop. You wanted to feel him and he wanted to feel you. It felt intimate, and private, but most of all… it felt… hopeful.
Hopeful that, even if you spent a whole day fucking, that this new development means something. Hopeful that this exclusivity is real and will go on until he decides to actually take the leap, to actually fight for what he wants again. Hopeful that he feels the same as you do. That you two would not do this with anyone else, but with each other.
But those thoughts can be for another day. For tomorrow. Maybe the day after, because right now, as he hugs you in the middle of the night, laying in bed, dinner devoured, and one last round of feeling one another, you feel your heart be calm for the first time in a while. 
Because for the first time ever you actually feel it. Genuine. True. It is no longer a mere word that you discard, no longer a word that sits in the back of your mind, thinking you would be so stupid to actually let yourself feel that.
But this night, you swore you felt something at the top of your head that you are sure you didn’t make it up. You felt a press at the top of it. A kiss. A good night kiss from his part as he kept rubbing circles on your lower back. This is not the same Steve from a month ago. This is not the same you from a month ago. You two are not the same as a month ago. 
So you let yourself feel it. Embrace it. And maybe… maybe it will grow more at some point that it might give you the courage to take that definite step.
You felt confident.
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars
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goldenhypen · 8 months
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。⋅✴︎。⚬⋅ WHAT ARE WE?
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syn. the way you and riki act as best friends has everyone questioning what you two really are.
riki x reader ⋅ fluff + best friends acting not so platonically? ⋅ 0.6k ⋅ 100% based off a dream i had recently- enjoy! :’>
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laughter. riki’s favourite sound. and not just any laughter. your laughter.
with your eyes half shut, head swung back and tummy hurting in pure bliss, sounds of joy left your lips, all because of something silly riki had said that you already barely remember. you don’t even know why you found it funny, but perhaps that’s a quality that ran in your close friendship with riki: any crazy, ridiculous thing your best friend would do or say could so easily elicit laughter from you. he likes to call it a talent, and you just roll your eyes at the thought.
you and riki weren’t the only ones at the table. on the other side of you was jake, and sitting across was sunoo and jungwon as you all shared a nice, warm meal together that jake had ordered earlier. and there you five sat on their empty practice room floor after a long day.
a satisfied sigh finally left your lips once you recovered and got control of your breathing again. realizing you were full, you turned to your side and faced riki with a grin. he looked at you through the sides of his eyes but didn’t question your motives. and before he knew it, his body was being pushed away slightly as you adjusted the position of his legs that were once crossed, now spread apart.
already knowing what you wanted, he opened up his arms for you, and you sat yourself right in front of him, back facing his body, and you leaned against him, letting your weight fall onto his.
his arms wrapped around and encapsulated you before you brought yours out from under his, your hands easily finding their way to his wrists.
“you better not fall asleep,” he said quietly beside your ear, almost sending a rush down your spine. his tone was as though he was offering you some sort of deal, that if he were to let you do this with him, the only condition would be that you don’t fall asleep.
and so you nodded but decided to be a little rebellious, closing your eyes anyway, despite it being against what he had told you.
the few minutes that went by weren’t enough for you to fall asleep yet, and suddenly you heard sunoo and jungwon giggling across from you. you were still fully conscious, just unable to see behind your eyelids, and you could hear as they snapped a picture of you because someone forgot to turn their phone’s sound off. you only continued to pretend to be asleep as you heard and felt riki chuckle against you as he found you cute and funny.
however, you lulled into such a relaxed state that you eventually did fall into a nice–though short–slumber, content in riki’s arms.
the way he brushed your hair from your eyes, and the way he watched you adoringly went unnoticed by you who was asleep in his arms, and is something you’ll never be aware of… that is until you see all the pictures and videos sunoo took but were not long lived as his giggles were a dead giveaway and had riki stopping him (not only because he was embarrassed but also because he didn’t want anyone to wake you).
just know that riki adores you–and he’ll never let this reach your ears, but… he wishes that you’d use him like this more often.
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A/N. had a dream that was exactly like this and so i decided to write it for y’all to experience it too :’> idk why it was riki and NOT JAKE THO???? but i think it turned out pretty cute so :D hope you enjoyed! letting me know you did would mean a lot to me <3 thanks for reading!
M.LIST ⋅ TAGLIST FORM
TAGLIST 1. @raimbows4u @sultrybaby @kpop-nct @ajayke-reads @enhacolor @enhasfever @nokacchan @yizhoutv @xiaoderrrr @soobin-chois @tyunni @shinsou-rii @softkpopplace @belle643 @nar-nia @pshchives @sunjakes @ethereal-engene @yeosayang @4ri-ki @sunoksunny @jaeyunjakesim @whoschr @enaus @hoes4hoseok @palajae @clarakyunisageek @annoyingbitch83 @wonswondrland @rcrystallocks @stepout-09-15 @zeraaax @enhasengene @ktttwwn @pistachiophobia @svnoofy @sweetjaemss @vatterie @mnsnts @yeseoist @azurez @milisabunny @wonniestars @iamliacamila @rikislady @kazmura @nicholasluvbot @vickytodoroki @en-chantedtomeetyou @s00buwu
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once-upon-an-imagine · 3 months
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Scars To Your Beautiful - James Potter
A/N: I have no idea how I was able to finish this xD thank you @captainlunaxmen for all your help! I hope yo loves like this :)
Request - @nix-rose asked: What about a James Potter x Black!Reader (if reader can have some personality: extrovert, loyal, gryffindor but could probably be a slytherin, just a happy person, definitely rough and tumble but still enjoys looking cute-) “Have you… Always been this beautiful?” “…That’s so cheesy even for your standards.”
Warnings: reader is really insecure, mentions of abusive parents, James protecting you from a creep (nothing to explicit though) also, this isn't proofread :D
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  
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Scars To Your Beautiful
But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark You should know you're beautiful just the way you are And you don't have to change a thing, The world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
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The ‘other Black’. That's how you were known in Hogwarts. 
You knew your family wasn’t perfect. As much as they all like to make it seem that way, it was very much far from it. Being part of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black brought a lot of pressure with it, but you were used to it by now. And, deep down, you loved your family. At least your brothers and your cousins. Well, two of your cousins, you were always pretty terrified of Bellatrix after she enchanted all of hers and her sisters’ ancient creepy dolls to come alive and it still terrified you to your very core today. But you loved Andromeda and Narcissa, even if the latter was now spending all of her time with Lucius Malfoy and you saw less and less of her. 
Even if you’d never admit it, you were always a bit envious of them. Not in a bad way, you just… wondered a little how it would feel to be like them. You remembered guys literally fighting to get your cousins’ attention. And not a day went by without you having to hear at least ten different people saying how gorgeous your brothers were. 
And then, there was you. You had a respectable reputation since you were part of the Black family. But it sometimes felt like you weren’t worthy enough to be part of it. You’ve sometimes noticed some guys staring at you a bit too long. And you’ve gone out with a few guys before. But you’ve also had people come to you specifically to get closer to one of your relatives. And nobody had referred to you as beautiful. Well, no one, except…
“Hey, beautiful” you heard that very familiar voice standing next to you. 
“Potter” you smirked. 
“Going to the match today?” 
“The Slytherin-Gryffindor match?” you smiled. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world” you told him. 
“Good, cause I need my good luck charm” he said as the two of you walked to the Great Hall. 
“Exactly, how does that work, Potter? Because I’m not really rooting for your team” you reminded him and he scoffed, pretending to be offended. 
“But of course you are, your brother plays on my team-”
“My other brother plays for my team” you interrupted. 
“Well, maybe not the team but… I’m sure you like the Gryffindor captain more than Slytherin’s” he smiled sweetly at you. 
“Well, you got me there, Potter” you admitted. 
“Promise you’ll come to the party when we win?” he asked as you entered the Great Hall and you knew you would separate. 
“That’s a lot of talk, Potter” you smirked but he offered his pinky to you. You rolled your eyes but you took it. “Never speak of this” you told him.
“See you there, beautiful” he said before he saw you walk to your table. 
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“Here” you said, sitting down next to your brother at Potions and handing him a small bag. 
“What’s this?” he asked, grabbing the bag. 
“That girl from Ravenclaw wanted me to give you this. I think she wants to ask you to Hogsmeade next weekend” you said, grabbing one of the chocolates inside. “Bite this, if it doesn’t have a love potion, I’m stealing them” you said.
“I’m not trying anything!” he complained. “Remember when we had to take care of Sirius after that girl from Hufflepuff basically drugged him?”
“I know, that’s why I wanted you to try them first” you chuckled. 
“Hold on” he said, grabbing his wand and pointing it at the candy. “We’re good” he said when a small purple dust came out of it. You grabbed one of the chocolates and Regulus grabbed another one, reading the note inside. “So, how was your talk with Potter this morning?” 
“I didn't talk to Potter this morning” you frowned, stealing some of his chocolates. 
“Don’t do that. I’m not Sirius” Regulus glared at you. “I’m not oblivious of how you two just casually entered the Great Hall together” he said. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Reggie” you said, pretending to be confused. 
“Or whenever he goes to Honeydukes he just happens to buy one too many Peppermint Toads so he gives you some, which just so happens to be your favorite” he said.
“He doesn’t… do that” you said, with your mouth half full of chocolate. 
“Are you… playing dumb? Or have you actually not noticed this?”
“Notice what? James is just friendly. That’s how he is” you tried to explain. 
“Really? He’s never gotten me Sugar Quills” Regulus said. 
“He doesn’t like Sugar Quills, why would he buy those?” 
“He doesn’t like Peppermint Toads either” he smirked. 
“Y-yes he does!” you argued, nervously. 
“No, he likes Chocolate Frogs, like the rest of us normal people” he said, as you glared at him. “And besides, it’s not just that. He’s always asking Sirius and me what your favorite books are, or asking Remus which songs you liked” he shrugged. 
“He… he does?”
“Does he really strike you as the guy who would read Pride and Prejudice for the fun of it?” 
“He might” you tried to convince yourself as you grabbed another chocolate. 
“Look, I know what you’re doing, and I know why you’re doing it. And it’s not worth it, bug” he said, getting serious. 
“It’s easy for you to say, Reg” you mumbled, picking another chocolate. “Look, it’s just… not that easy for me” you added. 
“You’ve gone out with guys before” he frowned, confused. 
“Not like James” you added. “What if… what if he’s really just being friendly? What if I think he’s interested in me and then I make a complete fool of myself? Just because he’s nice to me and I think there might be something else there? I feel…” you sighed, looking down at your hands. “It feels pathetic” you mumbled. 
“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with you liking James. Having feelings doesn’t make you pathetic” he said in a serious tone. “Secondly, did you not listen to what I just said? I honestly don’t think that James is just nice to you randomly like he’s nice to everyone else. He’s always looking for excuses to be around you, and he seems happier when he is. As do you. And, to be honest, I thought you were as oblivious about this as Sirius is, but now that I know that you were just trying to live in denial well, you’re dumber than Sirius- OUCH!”
“Excuse me?!” you asked, offended. 
“Only when it comes to this” he defended himself. “Look, I know that… for some reason, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re never going to find someone who fancies you-”
“For some reason? There is a very clear reason, Regulus, her name is Walburga!” 
“I know” he rolled his eyes. He knew very well about the hierarchy of the three of you in your home. And even if you were still not as below as Sirius because you were in Slytherin, your mother never let you forget that you were not Regulus or any of your cousins for that matter. “And I know that is not easy for you to turn off her voice in your head but, if you don’t, you might miss your chance to be with someone who is actually a great fit for you and it looks like he really likes you” he explained. “Don’t do that. If you let her win, you’re admitting that she’s right. And we all know, she’s not” he reminded you. “What’s the worst that could happen if you give Potter a chance?” 
“It’s very annoying when you’re right all the time, did you know that?”
“I do” he smiled triumphally, eating one last piece of chocolate as Professor Slughorn finally entered the class. 
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“Ugh, what is it?” you heard your cousin’s annoyed voice on the other side of the door that you knocked on before it opened, and she appeared. “Oh, hey, love” she smiled when she saw it was you.
“Hi, Cissa, um… is this a bad time?” you asked, hoping you were not just interrupting her having sex with Malfoy. 
“Oh, no, love. Lucius is just moping about losing the match” she laughed, stepping out. “What’s up?” 
“Um, w-well, I wanted to ask for a favor… if you’re not too busy” you smiled. 
“Please, anything to get away from Lucius” she said, linking her arm with yours and already walking over to your dorm. “So, what’s going on?” she said, stepping into your dorm and noticing all the clothes scattered around your bed and the floor. 
“Well, I was hoping to get your opinion on something” you said, smiling sweetly. 
“Let me guess” she said, sitting on your bed and grabbing a few skirts and dresses. “You’re going to the Gryffindor party to see James Potter” she said, erasing the smile off your face. 
“Wha-? How did you know? Did Regulus tell you?”
“Oh, please, love, I’m sure you and Sirius are the only ones who didn’t know” she laughed. 
“What?”
“Yeah, Bella and Andy also know” she informed you. 
“What? How?”
“I told them” she shrugged. 
“Ugh, great” you said, throwing yourself on your bed. “My entire family is discussing my pathetic crush” you lamented. 
“It could be worse” she said. “At least he’s a pureblood” she smiled. 
“Right” you said awkardly, sitting up. Of course that would be the only pro she’d find on James. 
“Besides, he obviously likes you back” she said as she started looking through the dresses. “Stand up” she said, pulling you up and putting the dress in front of you. 
“How are you so sure that he likes me back?”
“Oh, please, love. You can’t be that dense” she snorted. “The boy won’t leave you alone. And I’m pretty sure you’re the only one not from Gryffindor to get invited to their parties” she said. “Or at least the only Slytherin” she said. 
“W-well, maybe Sirius invited me-”
“Then why isn’t Regulus going?” 
“Okay, fair” you sighed. 
“This looks pretty. How come you haven’t worn it before?” she asked, holding up a black dress. 
“Oh, I got it a while ago in a very cute shop, but, I know it’s not something my mother would ever let me wear” you told her. 
“Well, lucky for us, your mum isn’t here” she said, throwing the dress at you. 
After you put it on, Narcissa happily sat back down on your bed and helped you with your makeup. 
“Hey, Cissa?”
“Try not to move, I’m doing your eyes” she said. 
“How do you um… get a guy to uh… notice you?” you asked, making your cousin’s look soften a little. 
“James Potter already notices you, love” she smiled. 
“W-well, yeah, I guess b-but, um… how do I let him know that I like him?” you asked. “You know, without actually telling him” you chuckled. 
“You mean, how do you flirt with him?” 
“It’s just… Regulus insists that he does these things to get my attention and… to be honest, I didn’t think it was any different from the way he acts with other girls so… I guess I have been acting normal, but… I’d like him to know that I’m interested, I guess…”
“Well, Potter seems to have a big ego, so congratulate him on how well he played today” she said as she kept doing her makeup and you glared at her a little. 
“And Lucius is as humble as they come, I suppose” you muttered. 
“Fair point” she said, before she continued. “Look, you already know he’s interested in you. Just smile at him, laugh at his stupid jokes, you should be fine” she insisted as she finished. “Okay, I’m done” she smiled. You got up and walked over looking at yourself in the mirror. 
For the first time, in a very long time, you actually felt beautiful. Narcissa had managed to make you look as elegant and flawless as you did whenever your family had a dinner party, but you didn’t feel like you were wearing a costume in one of the dresses your mother always picked. You felt like yourself. You turned around and hugged your cousin tightly. 
“Thank you so much, Cissa!” you smiled. 
“You’re welcome, love. Now go flirt with your dumb boy” she said, ushering you outside your dorm. 
“You too” you said, smiling and walking down the stairs as she rolled her eyes.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
When you entered the Gryffindor Tower, the party was already in full mode. You felt a few people, guys specifically, looking your way but you thought maybe it was because you were possibly the only Slytherin here. You walked across the Common Room, looking for James, but you found a different Marauder first. 
“Hi, Remus” you smiled as he walked over to you. 
“Oh, thank Merlin you’re here” he hugged you. “You’re the only person I like at this party and now Prongs can finally stop moping about you not being here” he said, making you laugh a little as he pulled away and looked at you. “Wow… you look-?”
“Bad?” you panicked.
“What? No! You look lovely” he smiled. “Prongs’ probably gonna have a heart attack though” he smirked. 
“Shut up! Stop saying things like that!” you widened your eyes at him. 
“Oh, please don’t tell me that you are as oblivious as your brother” he chuckled.
“I am not-! You know, I hit Regulus for saying that today!” 
“Alright, don’t hit me” he said, putting his hands up in surrender. “But, you cannot tell me that you haven’t noticed the way Prongs acts around you. He was literally throwing a fit about you not coming today” he insisted. 
“Really? Because he seems fine to me” you said, pointing behind Remus where you saw James talking to a group of very pretty girls as he offered a drink to one of them while another one threw her hair back, clearly flirting with him. 
“That means nothing” Remus said, rolling his eyes when he looked back to you. “That’s how James is-” 
“Exactly, that’s how James is” you repeated. 
“No, it’s different with you” Remus insisted as he grabbed a drink and handed it to you. 
“Really? Enlighten me” you glared at him. 
“So, you are admitting you are as oblivious as Sirius then?” 
“You know, you’re making a big deal out of that for someone who is just as oblivious on my brother’s crush on him-”
“What?!” Remus said, choking on his drink and pulling you aside. “Alright, now you’re just making stuff up” he said. 
“I’m not! You really haven’t noticed how Sirius is obnoxiously loud whenever you’re around to get your attention?”
“He… does not” Remus said, blushing a little. 
“Or that he calls you sweet names” you smirked.
“He calls everyone ‘love’” he interrupted. 
“Yes, he does” you nodded. “But he only calls you ‘my’ love” you added. 
“He… does not” he repeated.
“What are you doing here?” Sirius asked, walking over to the two of you all of the sudden. 
“Nothing” Remus quickly said. 
“Being normal, why?” you said at the same time, making Sirius raise an eyebrow at the two of you. “Um… h-have you seen James?” 
“No, but I am seeing too much of something” he said, gesturing his hand at your body. “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”
“A dress?” you said, looking down at yourself. 
“That is too revealing. You need to go change!”
“First of all, it is not. And secondly, your shirt is literally completely open!” you complained. 
“Yeah, well, this isn’t anything they haven’t seen before” he defended himself. “I am not in the mood to fight some prick that stares at you for a little too long because of… that” he said. “Go upstairs and grab my jacket” he told you.
“What? No!” you complained.
“Yes” he insisted. “Would you reason with her, my love?” he asked, looking at Sirius and you smirked when he blushed furiously. 
“Shut up” he whispered to you. “Look, just go upstairs and pretend to look for a jacket, I’ll distract him and you can come back in a few minutes” he said while Sirius finished his drink. 
“Ugh, fine” you rolled your eyes. 
“How come she only listens to you?” Sirius complained, pouting at Remus. “It must be your beautiful eyes” he smiled.
“How many of those have you had?” Remus asked, taking his glass away from him. 
You made it upstairs to the boys’ dorm and went over to Sirius' trunk to look for one of his jackets.  You found one that you kind of liked and put it on before you went back downstairs. You looked for James but saw he was still talking to the group of girls. You tried to look for your brother instead but saw him very busy with Remus and you didn’t want to interrupt so you went to grab something to drink.
“I didn’t know they let Slytherins into our parties” you heard Augustus McLaggen on your left, pouring himself a drink as well. 
“Oh” you said nervously. You were rarely alone at these things. You would at least have Regulus by your side and he would make someone go away if you were uncomfortable. “W-well, James invited me and- I was with my brother-”
“Relax, darling, I’m joking” he smirked, walking closer to you. 
“Oh” you smiled wearily. 
“It’s actually a bit… refreshing to have someone from another house” he said. 
“Um… thanks?”
“There’s something different about you” he said, eyeing you up and down. “I can’t quite put my finger on it” he said, making you pull your jacket a little closer.
“Hey! You finally came, love” you thankfully heard James’ voice coming towards you and wrapping his arm around your waist. “I thought you were standing me up” he said, kissing your head. 
“J-James, hi” you smiled relieved. 
“Sorry, mate, gotta steal her for a bit” he said, smirking at McLaggen who was glaring at him and he quickly pulled you aside. 
“Thank you” you told him as the two of you walked away.
“Don’t mention it, love. McLaggen’s a prick, why were you talking to him?”
“I wasn’t talking to him! He was talking to me” you insisted as James raised his eyebrow. “I was just getting a drink! And I was gonna go look for you-”
“Are you wearing my jacket?” he asked, confused. 
“Y-your… what?” you said, looking down at your jacket. “This is y-your jacket?” you asked confused. 
“Yeah” he smiled.
“Oh, I’m sorry, it was in Sirius’ trunk” you said, confused. “I thought-”
“Yeah, beautiful. I’m gonna save you some time, probably none of our clothes is in the correct trunk” he laughed. “Except Remus’” he added. 
“I’m sorry” you said, starting to take it off. 
“N-no! Don’t worry about it, gorgeous. Are you cold? Is that why you wanted my jacket? ‘Cause it looks good on you- I mean, you look beautiful tonight” he said smiling at you. “W-well, you always do” he added. 
“R-really?” you smiled, feeling your cheeks blush.
“Yeah” he nodded. “You don’t need the jacket if you ask me-”
“Oh, um, w-well…” you stuttered. “Sirius just… didn’t like my dress and said I needed a jacket” you rolled your eyes.  
“Well, Padfoot just needs to snog Moony and mind his business” he laughed, making you laugh as well. “You look beautiful with that dress” he smiled dreamily at you. 
“Thank you, James” you said, feeling your heart flutter. “Wait, you know about that?”
“How Sirius calls Moony ‘my’ love? Of course I do” he chuckled. “So, what took you so long to come? Were you crying all this time because your house lost?”
“Really? Did you want me to come just to brag about the match, Potter? I can still leave” you smirked as he handed you a drink. 
“Please don’t. I was so bored before you came” he said, walking you over to one of the sofas near a window. 
“I find that very hard to believe” you said, looking around. 
“Why do you always think I’m lying?” James asked, placing his hand on the sofa, behind you. 
“Because I’ve known you since I’m eleven?” you replied, making him glare at you a little. 
“That hurts, love” he said, trying to sound offended. “When have I ever lied to you?” 
“Well, for starters, you didn’t tell me that you, my brother, and Peter became Animagi to help Remus-”
“That was your brother. He didn’t let us tell you” he defended himself. 
“Alright” you said, trying to suppress your smile. “So, you’ve never lied to me?”
“Never, love” he insisted.
“Not even to avoid hurting my feelings?” you raised your eyebrow at him and noticed him tense a little. 
“N-no, of course not” he said, taking a sip of his drink. 
“So, last Christmas when you invited us over and your mum was teaching me how to cook, you actually liked the Christmas Pudding I made?” 
“Of course I did” he chuckled. 
“James” you glared at him. 
“Yes, love?” he smiled, goofily at you. 
“I mistakenly added salt instead of sugar, it was ruined” you laughed. 
“No, no. It wasn’t ruined. It gave it a new better taste” he shrugged. 
“James!” you laughed. 
“What? It’s true! I liked it” he insisted. 
“Nobody else ate it! You can’t possibly think it was good” you laughed. 
“Well, I did” he shrugged, turning your way. 
“You’re really stubborn, did you know that?” 
“Oh, and you’re not?” he laughed making you smile. “Have you… always been this beautiful?” 
“That’s so cheesy, Potter, even for your standards” you chuckled, feeling your cheeks burning. 
“Wait… do you-? Do you not believe me?” he asked, his tone getting serious. 
“I- um… I do” you said, unconvincingly. 
“You don’t” he said, turning himself to you. “It is one thing that you don’t believe that I liked your Christmas Pudding-”
“You didn't” you insisted. 
“But how can you not believe me about that?” 
“I do!” you insisted. “It’s just… I’m sorry, I’m being stupid” you smiled sadly, looking at your drink. 
“No, you’re not” James insisted, placing his hand under your chin to make you look at him. “What’s going on, love? Did- did I say something wrong?” 
“No!” you quickly said. “You never say anything wrong” you smiled sadly. “It’s just… I’m not really used to um… hearing that” you said, feeling your cheeks blush. 
“Love, I tell you that every single day! Why is it so hard for you to believe me?” 
“Because, James, look at my entire family” you said, sadly. “You know who I live with. My mother is not warm and loving like your mum is. I grew up very differently than you” you reminded him, making his look turn soft and his heart break a little. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me” you added. “It’s just… not easy for me to believe it, I guess” you smiled sadly. 
“Well, love” he said, moving closer to you and placing his hand softly on your cheek. “If you’re okay with it, I will keep saying it until you believe me” he told you. “Because you are the most beautiful person that I have seen in my life. And, since apparently I haven’t been as obvious as I thought I was, I am completely and madly in love with you and I would love to take you out on a date” he said, making your heart stop. 
“R-really?” you asked and he raised his eyebrows at you. “I m-mean, y-yes, I would love to go on a date with you” you smiled. “And… in case you didn’t know because I’m horrible at this… I am very much in love with you too” you added, making the biggest smile appear on James’ face. “And I also think you’re really beautiful” you said before he pulled you in to kiss you on the lips. 
“I love you, beautiful” he said, making you smile. 
“I love you too, Jamie” you said. “Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Anything” he said.
“Do you like Peppermint Toads?” you asked suddenly, remembering your conversation with Regulus. 
“Do I uh-” he frowned. “Why are you asking me that?” he chuckled nervously. 
“You always give me Peppermint Toads when you say you bought too many but… I don’t think I’ve seen you have one” you explained. 
“Well, love… I hate to break it to you, but nobody likes Peppermint Toads” he admitted. 
“That’s not true!”
“Yes, it is” he said, kissing your cheek. “I just bought them because you always smiled when I gave them to you” he said. “So, I’ll buy you as many as you want” he said, hugging you to him and giving you another peck on the lips. 
"Thanks, love" you smiled. "Can you now tell me if you actually liked my Christmas Pudding?"
"I did!"
The End
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A/N: I hope you loves liked it! :)
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Omfg I ate that Vox fic up! The one where he hypnotized the reader after a long fight of them nearly being taken from him. Can you do a part 2 please? Like when the reader eventually learns he basically forced them to sign the contract and they find a way to be immune to his hypnosis? He goes absolutely nuts despite literally owning their soul. He's canonically a control freak and seems to even have some yandere traits. I hope I'm not going against your rules! You don't have any posted so I just wanna ask! Thank you for being awesome! :D Don't hesitate to turn down this request. Write what makes you feel comfortable. Just please respond so I and everyone else knows not to make a similar request in the future. Lots of love!
ABSOLUTELY!! I did take this in a slightly different direction, but hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Lowkey thinking of doing a Vox POV of this later and maybe even a part three...
Vox isn't actually in this much, but I feel a loose actual plot coming together and this is what naturally flowed for me.
I hope y'all are ready for more angst... plus a cliff-hanger <3
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More Than Anything Part 2 [Vox x Reader]
Part 1
Part 2.5
"You controlling prick!"
Vox ducked as you threw a pillow at him. Even in your righteous anger, you'd never actually truly try to hurt him, but by god were you pissed.
Despite Vox's obvious disdain for the Hazbin Hotel and its association with Alastor, you visited the hotel occasionally to catch up with your friend Angel Dust and give some much-deserved love to his pet pig Fat Nuggets. It was during one of these visits that you ran into Alastor, who immediately looked at you with disgust in his ever-present smile.
"Really now, my dear," he said as he shook his head in disapproval. "It's already enough of a shame that you have such poor taste in a romantic partner, but to give your soul to him as well? I thought you were smarter than that."
The overlord could see the aura of Vox's ever-annoying electric cords locked around your soul like chains. You'd been confused and his eye twitched with annoyance as he realized what Vox had done to you. To say you were livid after he explained that you'd been tricked was an understatement.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," Vox pleaded as you fumed at him in his room. "But you left me no other choice! You weren't listening to me and if I didn't bind your soul, then Satan knows what could have happened to you by now."
"Just because you don't fucking believe in my ability to look out for myself doesn't mean you get to just take my soul!" You screamed with hot, angry tears flowing down your face. You wipe at them, only crying harder at the frustration of the tears you couldn't control in your anger. You felt like they undermined your emotions.
Vox's magic sparked around him as he tried his best not to get angry and start a fight with you. He was terrified and was that much more susceptible to his angry tendencies in moments like these. It took everything in him to try and calm himself, not wanting to push you away further. His heart dropped and his blood ran cold as he saw you pull a large bag out of the closet and start shoving clothes into it.
"W-Where are you going?" Vox panicked as he crossed the room.
"The hotel," you said with quiet fury, as you stepped away from the closet and went to the nightstand with your personal things on it. "I need some space and it's the one fucking place I know you'd rather die again than follow me to."
"Ŷ̸̪͕o̸̢̿̿ū̷̫ ̶̬͂c̶̺̾͂a̴͒͘͜n̴̫̂̔'̶̡̉t̶͙̝̄͒," Vox said, his voice starting to glitch as his panic increased. "You've heard the news, the extermination is in a week and the angels plan on attacking there first. There's no guarantee they'll keep to the date after how much little miss dumbass pissed off heaven. It's not safe there."
You pull your bag over your shoulder and the look you gave him will haunt him for the rest of his afterlife. "It's safer than here."
It breaks him all the more when you shield your eyes from him and storm past him so he can't hypnotize you into staying. Vox is paralyzed with fear like never before. He wanted to scream, to beg, to stop you from leaving him, but he couldn't do anything as his system glitched so hard it forced him into a reboot. When he came to, he was alone. You were gone.
--
Charlie was more than willing to let you stay at the hotel. The two of you hadn't had the chance to really ever speak before, but she was always friendly when you came to visit Angel, even after you explained to her there was no way you'd be able to become a guest.
In exchange, you were happy to help set up the defenses against the extermination. You got to know all of the other members of the hotel and the work helped you push down the burning ache in your chest.
Vox had been trying to contact you nonstop. You eventually turned off your phone, driven insane by the wall of notifications of him begging you to respond in any way. He knew you were okay for the time being. He was literally connected to your soul. But as the extermination day grew closer, his panic only increased. If it wasn't for Valentino and Velvette holding him back, there were several times he genuinely would have set aside his pride and come to the hotel just to get you.
It was after helping Husk and Cherri put up a particularly tricky barrier with the dwindling supplies that Angel found you taking a break. He passed you a water which you took gratefully as he slid down the wall and joined you on the floor.
"So," he started. "Are we going to ever talk about the reason why you're hiding out here?"
"Do we have to?" You groan, running your fingers through your hair. Despite the smiles and laughter you'd been sharing with your newfound friends as you all prepared for the potential end of it all, the dark circles on your eyes gave away what was lurking underneath.
For as angry as you were at Vox, you missed him. You missed feeling him curl against you in bed. You missed being woken up at unholy hours early in the morning because Vox couldn't start his day without giving you a kiss and telling you how much he loved you. You missed his shitty taste in shows and how he'd collapse into your arms after a long day at work.
Angel sighed, looking at the boarded-up lobby. "Look I may not get it, but you love the guy, right? Are you really content with possibly dying in a couple of days for a cause you're not even a part of, just because you're pissed with him?"
"He stole my soul, Angie" You frown at him.
"And that is fucked up as hell," he agrees. "But I know you and I know there ain't no way in hell you're actually satisfied leaving shit like this."
"I just-," you start before groaning. "How the hell are we supposed to come back from this? I doubt he'd ever void the contract. He's too convinced he's right for that."
Angel sighed, setting his own cup aside. "Honestly toots, you're not gonna like it, but... He kinda has a point."
You whip your head up to look at him and he holds up his hands defensively. "Not saying that stealing your soul was the right call. Believe me, if anyone gets how fucked it is having your soul controlled by a sociopath with a big ego, it's me. But you're not exactly in the safest of places, dollface. Not to mention, you're dating an overlord who's in a trio determined to piss off as many big shots as possible. His mind may not be in the right place, but his heart kinda is."
You take Angel's words to heart and sigh as you bury your face in your arms. "I hate it, but you're right... I just... I don't want to hold him back. I don't want to be the person that needs to be protected. I want to be his equal, not his problem."
"Then tell him that," Angel sighs. His gaze drifts to the bar and smiles fondly. "Someone recently has taught me how important being real with yourself is. It's okay to be flawed. No one got stuck in this shithole cause we were perfect, y'know?"
He nudged you with a grin as he added, "Plus, come on. Can you imagine how many bitches in hell would kill to have a sexy fucker that wants nothing more than to love ya and keep ya safe? I love you toots, but for fucks sake, pick a struggle."
You snort, shaking your head as you lightly swat at his arm. "Fuck you for being right about shit all the time."
"It's one of my best assets," Angel smirked. "Y'know, aside from all the fluff."
You laughed as he puffed up his chest and by the end of the evening, you'd decided to head back. As much as you loved Angel and wanted nothing more than to be by his side as the extermination drew near, he had a point. This wasn't your fight and there was a controlling dumbass that had been blowing up your phone ever since you left that was praying for your return.
After exchanging promises to see each other after the extermination, you left the hotel. You had an idiot to see.
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dkfile · 9 months
Text
gold rush
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❛ everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. ❜ ━gold rush, taylor swift
word count | 19.2k (19,220) genre | fluff, angst, slowburn, exes to lovers, summer au ━ gn!reader
though there is no denying that kim mingyu was once a big part of your life, you believe that the pain he’s left you with is long gone; he is a memory, and that is all he will ever be. but then you get home, and he’s there, and maybe you have to reconsider just how much you’ve moved on.
★ warnings | brief mention of injury/scars/blood, alcohol consumption, suggestive if u squint, seokmin and minghao meddling, i think thats it tell me if i missed anything ★ author’s note | it’s finally here!!! this took me longer than i thought it would, i really thought it’d only be on the shorter side (shorter side in dkfile means >10k words) but. this is literally 19k. i lied to myself i guess. hope u guys enjoy tho !! lmk your thoughts :D
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In movies, summer signifies new beginnings. The sun’s radiance is bright enough to blind, the ocean glimmers underneath its attention, the sand is warm to the touch. Ice cream drips down your fingers and makes them uncomfortably sticky against the humid breeze. Some people come home, others leave, but they all have the intent of starting their new chapter right. Summer is about growth. It is about moving on.
It is not supposed to be about Kim Mingyu.
seok ☀️ > can you pls pick up the phone > i’m sorryyyyy that i lied to you ☹️ > forgive me!! 😓💔🙏 > do you need me to grovel? because i will
You scowl.
When you came back from college, welcomed home with open arms by your family and childhood friends, you were reassured that a certain boy — with golden skin, starry eyes, and your crushed heart in the palm of his hand — would not be back in town. Foolishly, you looked past the mischievous quirk of Minghao’s eyebrow, and the sheepish wince painted across Seokmin’s face when you expressed your delight at having them all to yourself.
There would be no ex-boyfriend to thwart your plans, no boy to drown your summer in gasoline and set it aflame.
But then your shopping cart bumps into someone else’s at the store, and when you look up, the bane of your existence is staring at you, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
You vaguely remember the rather sharp inhale Seokmin took from behind you before you scoffed, incredulous and irritated, and harshly stated that Seokmin could finish grocery shopping by himself. You do not want to associate yourself with the traitor and the liar your so-called best friend has become.
Seokmin claims you’re being rather overdramatic. He swears he didn’t know Mingyu would be home so soon.
(“So soon?” you repeated when you picked up Seokmin’s fifteenth call ten minutes ago. “What does that mean? That you knew he was always going to be coming home?”
“…Listen—”
You hung up).
You find yourself sitting in the skatepark a few blocks from the mart, legs curled up on the bench and your chin resting on your knees. As the sun begins to dip below the horizon, the occupants slowly pack up and leave, until the sounds of wheels against concrete is replaced with the murmur of cicadas and the laughter from the occasional passerby.
The warmth of the wood seeps through your denim shorts, percolating across your body until you are hot underneath your clothes. Despite the heat of the day giving way to the mellow cool of the evening, sweat forms on your upper lip and hairline, an indicator that it’s too hot to sit out here and contemplate every choice you’ve made up until this moment.
Still, you stay; you’re not sure why. You never quite liked it here, had only enjoyed it when you were surrounded by your friends and their saccharine laughter. The scars on your leg are painful reminders of the multiple falls you took when he was teaching you how to skate.
(Sometimes, on bad nights, you still feel the ghost of his fingers on your waist and your wrist, guiding you on his board while children much younger than you zoom by).
You never left this area without a new injury, whether it be a bruise on the shin or a scrape on the knee.
Memories of what once was linger.
You do not remember what you had for breakfast this morning, or what show Seokmin recommended to you a few hours ago, or what car your dad was planning on buying.
But you remember Mingyu. You remember his smile and his sweet cologne and the way his hair fell into his eyes whenever his shoulders shook with laughter. You remember what it feels like to be in his bubble; it feels like you’ve been dumped into molasses — you become aware of your every move, and time begins to move just a little slower, as if you are trying to savour every moment before he disappears.
You feel him before you hear him.
That’s why you’re not surprised when he talks, his voice soft from where he stands behind the bench. You imagine him with his hands tucked into his pockets, staring at the empty ramps (he is not looking at you. You would know if he was looking at you. His gaze would burn more than a thousand wildfires).
“I thought they told you.”
Your voice comes out hoarse. “They told me you weren’t coming home.”
“Oh,” he doesn’t sound surprised, but he stills offers an apology. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? You’re not the one who lied.”
A quiet heartbeat passes. “Right.”
Your fingers drum against your calf. “How did you find me, anyway? Did Seokmin track my location?”
“No,” he murmurs. His voice has been quiet ever since he arrived. “I just… figured you’d be here.”
You swallow a large lump in your throat. “Oh,” you say weakly.
“Yeah,” he responds. There’s a brief moment of contemplation. He knows there’s a line he cannot cross, but he tries anyway. “Do you want a ride home?”
Your response is immediate and firm, and its harshness is enough to break the calm façade he unintentionally built around the both of you. “No. I’ll walk.”
“It’s hot,” he argues.
“I don’t need you, Mingyu,” you bite back. He clamps his mouth shut as unease settles in the pit of your stomach. “I don’t— I’ll be fine.”
He seems to hesitate; you aren’t sure how long he stands behind you, searching for a response.
Then, as if it pains him to say: “Okay.”
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“Damn,” Minghao falls into Seokmin’s shoulder as they both laugh at your stumbling, “You suck!”
“Hey,” Mingyu barks, though he looks more like a puppy than the intimidating boy he imagines himself to be, “it’s not like you’re any better!”
You know Mingyu’s only saying this to make you feel better — Minghao is, arguably, the best on wheels out of the four of you — but the sentiment still warms your heart. At your smile, Mingyu’s annoyed mien is replaced with a grin of his own. He reaches over to squeeze your cheek.
“I believe in you,” he declares.
“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing,” you begin, stretching out your arms to balance on the board, “I don’t think I’m ever going to master this.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Mingyu huffs, hands hovering over your sides once the skateboard begins to move, eyes trained on your feet. “By the time we get out of here, you’re gonna give Minghao a run for his money.”
You sigh. Mingyu was always one for wishful thinking.
“You really think I’ll be able to do this by myself in half an hour?”
Mingyu hums hopefully.
The sun has already begun to set, and you had promised your parents you’d be home for dinner. With fall around the corner, the days are slowly becoming shorter, a constant reminder that your last year of school is upon you. Next are college applications, then admissions, and conversations about your future that you aren’t quite ready to have.
But you’ll worry about that when you need to.
Because right now, there is the skate park, the late summer breeze, and Mingyu, who shrieks along with you when you lose balance. His arms grab onto your waist, bringing you back to the ground as the skateboard continues to roll down the concrete. Right now, there is the furrow of his eyebrows, the mixture of disappointment and amusement swirling in his eyes, and his forehead pressed against yours.
“I thought I told you not to zone out,” he says with a slight shake of his head. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
You shrug, pecking his nose before pulling away to chase after the skateboard. “You’re so dramatic. The worst I could’ve gotten was a scraped knee.”
Mingyu scoffs. “So? I don’t want you getting hurt under my watch.”
“You’re my boyfriend, not my babysitter.”
“Well, I might as well be,” he argues. “You’re more accident prone than me.”
Laughing, you jokingly say, “Guess that means you’ve finally met your match, Kim.”
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People used to say you and Mingyu were made for each other.
It is something you’ve tried to forget, but the fact follows you around like a shadow. This town, small and aware of the breakup, can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that you and Mingyu are no longer extensions of one another.
At some point, you hoped that people would understand your discomfort whenever he’s mentioned, but the fact of the matter is that you and Mingyu had been a package deal from when you were in diapers up until the end of senior year, and when you’re intertwined with someone for that long, it’s just as hard for you as it is for everyone to forget that part of yourself.
When you stop by the pharmacy, you don’t ask about him (you have no reason to), but the pharmacist still informs you that you’ve just missed him; when you see your mother’s colleague, she gushes about how nice it must be to see him after all this time (you do not have the heart to tell her otherwise); when you buy a pack of Sprite bottles for Mrs. Boo’s annual summer barbecue, the clerk asks if you know if he’s going to be in attendance (you say you have not talked to him in three years, and the clerk tilts his head in confusion).
Your patience has been worn thin by the time you arrive at Seokmin’s house.
“Hello, sunshine,” Minghao drawls when his attention settles on you. He watches you scowl before setting your bag on the armchair and taking a seat beside him on the couch. “How was your morning?”
“I’m ditching,” you declare, brushing off his question.
“Ditching what?”
“The barbecue,” you deadpan. “What else?”
“Now, why the hell would you do that?”
“Minghao,” you say blankly, “would it kill you to use your brain for once?”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
Seokmin enters the living room, carrying three cans of iced tea, all of which he places on the coffee table. He throws you and Minghao a look of annoyance. “If you guys are going to argue, please don’t do it under my roof,” he gestures around the room, “it kills the vibes.”
You roll your eyes but mutter an apology under your breath. Beside you, Minghao quips, “Y/N decided ditching the barbecue would be a good idea.”
You’re used to Seokmin’s mannerisms by now, so you don’t even flinch when he waves his arms around in disbelief. “What?” he exclaims, crouching in front of your legs and taking your hands into his. “Why the hell would you do that?”
Minghao hums. “That’s what I said.”
“Put that brain of yours to good use.”
“They said that to me, too.”
Seokmin huffs, knowing better than to let your quips deter him. “Please don’t tell me this is about Mingyu.”
You quirk an eyebrow, to which Seokmin scoffs, letting go of your hands before plopping down in front of you, even though there’s a free spot on the other side of Minghao. They scrutinize you for a moment, Seokmin’s eyes narrowed and lips twisted into a frown while Minghao stares blankly, showing no emotion or an indication of what’s going on inside his head.
It does nothing to make you feel comfortable.
You aren’t a stranger to Minghao and Seokmin’s examinations — they’re experts when it comes to breaking you down with analyzations and calculating eyes. But you haven’t been home in three years, and being on the receiving end of something as intense as this is startling, if not a little troubling.
(Being the only one enduring this, absent of a certain boy, is unsettling as well, though you’d rather die than admit that).
Seokmin nudges your ankle with his knee. “You know you’ll regret not going to this thing,” he says, eyes sparkling with amusement when you bristle. “You haven’t seen the Boo’s in forever, too. They’d be sad if you miss it.”
“Imagine how Seungkwan would feel,” Minghao adds, poking your arm to look at him, and continues to do so when you don’t. “He’d be miserable.”
You pout. “I doubt it.”
“You were in the same badminton club for five years,” Minghao argues softly, “I think he would be.”
Seokmin states, “And you’re not the type of person to let someone down, are you?” He pauses for a moment before adding, “Well, other than me and Minghao, on occasion.”
You cross your arms, leaning further into the couch as you avoid eye contact. You’re adamant on skipping, but Seokmin and Minghao know you better than anyone else, so they know exactly how to word their sentences and fabricate their bribes to get you to agree. They know, as long as you keep this up, the entirety of your summer will be spent in the four walls in your house, the only place in town guaranteed to not have Kim Mingyu.
And it may be pathetic, really, to continue letting him affect you like this.
(But it has always been you and Mingyu, Mingyu and you. He is part of your soul. There is a void in your chest that’s the shape of him. How are you supposed to erase all memory of someone like that?)
A painted fingernail pokes your side, a knee bumps your shin. Your friends look at you, hopeful.
A sigh.
“Okay, fine.”
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“Can I ask you something?”
You hum, collapsing on the bench beside Seungkwan, his newly dyed platinum blonde hair appearing orange under the setting sun. Sweat trinkles down his frame but his breathing remains even, showing no sign that he just finished playing a rather intense badminton game a few minutes prior.
“What are you guys doing after you graduate?”
You take a sip from your water bottle in hopes the liquid will make it easier to swallow the lump forming in your throat. You have never minded these types of conversations, though the reminder of the future creates a pit in your stomach that only continues to grow larger with each passing day. And, knowing Seungkwan, you know there is more to his question than college applications and major declarations.
“What do you mean?”
“You, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin,” Seungkwan elaborates. “You’re all going to different colleges, right?”
Pursing your lips, you risk a glance at him, only to find that he’s staring ahead. “Minghao’s going abroad, yeah, and Seokmin’s thinking of staying here,” you explain, voice low. “Mingyu and I are going to be together, though.”
At this, Seungkwan turns to you, eyebrows furrowed. “You two are going to the same university?”
There is something about the way he asks this — unsure, withdrawn, and cautious. You see the flare of uncertainty in his eyes, and it’s enough for your heartrate to quicken.
“Yeah. Why?”
He opens and closes his mouth. There is war in his head. Very rarely do you see Seungkwan at a loss for words. He is usually so quick on his feet, so witty, so talkative, and the silence that falls between you both is painful and nerve-wracking.
Should you be worried?
“Nothing,” he eventually settles for, ignoring the silent question in your eyes. “I was just thinking about how nice that would be.”
You decide to believe him. It is so much easier to be ignorant, you think.
(But it is also much more painful later. You do not allow yourself to dwell).
“Why’d you ask, anyway?”
“I was just talking to Vernon and Chan, and I realized we all want different things,” Seungkwan sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “We won’t all be together much longer. It feels… weird.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you guys will be able to stay in touch?”
You shrug hopefully. “I think so,” you say, shifting your gaze to the horizon, “we’ve been friends forever. It’d take a lot to break that up.”
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The scent of tangerines and aftershave fill your nose as you’re ambushed by a boy bursting with energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet while he resides in your arms, squeezing you tight as he spews angry statements that all come from a place of love.
Seungkwan is grinning by the time you pull away, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you further into the backyard to catch up with other people. He doesn’t dare leave your side — he’s convinced you’ll slip away and disappear if he does — and you’re thankful; you don’t have the energy to steamroll through conversations today.
Though it’s humid, the warmth you’re engulfed in is a product of the Boo household. It is homely and welcoming and an embodiment of everything you’ve ever missed about home all in one lot. You should be happy to be here, surrounded by people you haven’t seen in years as a consequence of your avoidance, pulled into an endless pool of memories and nostalgia.
But you cannot shake it, the uneasiness.
You feel it as soon as the gate swings open and he enters, carrying two large Tupperware containers, one filled with brownies and the other with lemon squares. You feel it when he flashes his signature smile, canines as pearly white and blinding as you remember, and it still fills you with a sickening sense of joy.
“I’m gonna go get a brownie,” Seungkwan announces, loud enough to snap you out of it. “Do you want one?”
“No,” you decline, forcing yourself to smile even when you feel a burning sensation at the back of your head. “Thank you, though.”
Seungkwan nods and makes his way to the refreshments table, but not before wagging a finger in warning, “Don’t leave without saying goodbye!”
You frantically search the backyard, looking for any sign of Minghao or Seokmin, or maybe a superhero of some sorts to pull you away so you don’t disintegrate in the presence of Mingyu.
In your periphery, you see him excuse himself from conversations, eyes flickering towards you with a determination you aren’t unfamiliar with. It’s remorseful and desperate, and it reminds you of an instance in the skatepark a few years ago, you in his sweater and drowning in heartbreak and sorrow.
Someone swings their arm over your shoulder.
“Hey,” Minghao murmurs, steering you further into the backyard, away. You can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes you. “You okay?”
“Fine,” you grit your teeth.
“You’re gonna have to talk to him at some point,” he says, dropping his arm once he’s decided you’re far enough. “I feel like it’d do the both of you some good.”
“I have nothing to say to him,” you protest. “And I’m sure he has nothing to say to me.”
“I really don’t think that’s the truth.”
“It is.”
“You were in love with him,” he says. It slips out of his lips so easily, as if he were talking about the weather or the shapes of the clouds. You wish you could mutter an admission like that — accept something like that — the way he had. “And he was in love with you, and it ended badly. That is more than enough of a reason to talk.”
It ended badly. You always associated a statement like that with relationships that ended in screaming matches or slamming doors. Ones where a simple argument escalated into one that finalized a conclusion, ones where there was nothing in the room but anger and exhaustion that overpowered the love.
You’ve never associated it with how your relationship with Mingyu ended. The sun was rising, and birds were chirping, and you were standing in the same spot you asked him out, the same spot he asked you to prom, the same spot he murmured three simple words into your ear before you fell asleep on his shoulder on the park bench.
It didn’t end because of a fight. Sometimes, you wish it had — maybe then you’d feel differently about everything, about him.
It just came to a halt, and he had been the one to step on the brakes.
“Talk to him,” Minghao urges again, sympathetic but firm. “You don’t have to do it now, but just do it before you leave. Don’t you think you deserve some closure?”
You find him talking to some of your classmates from your graduating class. They hang onto every word he says, face alit with curiosity and admiration, because some things never change, and he has been put on a pedestal since birth. In the hallways of the high school, his name is on the trophies, he’s beaming in most of the pages in the yearbook, he is this town’s pride and joy.
But you know him.
You see him smile and you’re not blind to the discomfort and falseness behind it. He doesn’t want to be there, you think, and your thoughts are proven correct when he glances up to look at you, and his mask slips by a fraction. For a moment, you see sincerity, a glimpse of the Mingyu you once knew.
Someone taps him on the shoulder and, as you predicted, he puts the mask back on.
You hate that you still know him like the back of your hand.
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He is leaning against your frame, playing with your fingers, when he asks the question.
“How do you do it?” he wonders, looking up briefly to meet your questioning gaze before returning his focus on your hands, tapping them to the beat of an overplayed pop song.
His head has dipped down, allowing you to rest your cheek against it. “Do what?”
“Talk to everyone like that,” he says, using his free hand to gesture towards the backyard filled with the people you’re currently hiding from. The both of you sit on the staircase by the front entrance, away from any prying eyes. “They were hanging onto every word you said. They’re practically in love with you.”
You snicker. “What, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”
Mingyu matches your teasing tone with a playful lilt of his own. “Oh, I am. I’ve got some competition.”
You nudge him with your shoulder. “Don’t be too upset when I pick Mrs. Boo over you.”
He hums. “No promises.”
A blanket of comfortable silence falls over you. He fidgets with your hands, brushing his thumb over your nails, and tracing the lines of your palms with his index finger. You close your eyes, listening to the fading chatter of the town and the faint sizzling of meat on the grill.
“I should be asking you that, y’know,” you eventually mumble. Mingyu’s movements stop. “You’ve got the whole town wrapped around your finger. I’m pretty sure everybody loves you.”
To get you to open your eyes, he pokes your cheek. “The same could be said about you,” he responds. “Besides, people only like the idea of me. What would they say if they found out my room’s never clean and I cycle through the same two pairs of socks year-round?”
You wrinkle your nose. “God, remind me to buy you a pack of socks from the store next time I’m at the mall.”
He laughs, an unpleasant snort involuntarily escaping his nose. “I’m serious. They don’t like me. They like the illusion.”
You finally look at him, meeting his softened gaze and mellow smile. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
“No, not really,” he shrugs, but there is a minuscule halt in his voice that you don’t catch. “The only opinion that matters to me is yours.”
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You’re convinced Seokmin and Minghao are saints.
(You would never admit this, though. They would never shut up if you did).
For the entire 40-minute car ride, they manage to keep the calm, filling the silence with anecdotes about people you have only heard about through irregular video calls, and arguments about who should be in control of the music. Eventually, they settle for handing the aux over to Mingyu, who meets your gaze through the rearview mirror before clicking on a familiar playlist and looking out the window.
After the first five songs, your face heats up as you remember bashfully making him a playlist back in high school. You settle into your spot, hoping the battered polyester of Seokmin’s car seats will swallow you whole.
When you agreed to tag along on their trip out of town and into the city, Minghao and Seokmin didn’t bother hiding their surprise, especially since they made it clear Mingyu was going to be in attendance. Seungkwan even offered to let you carpool with him, Vernon, and Chan, but you declined — you might as well suck it up, seeing as you and Mingyu are going to be in the same vicinity for the rest of the summer.
Still, you can’t help but regret your decisions as you squirm in the backseat behind Seokmin, who’s fiddling with the A/C, listening intently to a story Minghao’s telling about some scandal involving two classmates he’s never talked to before. You’re thankful for their nosiness, because it gives you some level of comfort and helps you ignore Mingyu’s fleeting glances from the passenger seat.
“The professor’s a hardass so everyone was convinced they were fucking,” Minghao says, leaning forward in his seat. “Turns out he was just her stepdad, who suffered from a chronic case of favouritism.”
Seokmin snorts. “Out of all the conclusions to jump to, that’s the one they picked?”
Minghao quirks an eyebrow. “You of all people should not be saying that.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
As Seokmin and Minghao begin to bicker for the nth time that evening, your gaze slides from the window to the Snoopy trinket hanging from the rearview mirror to the mirror itself, and you can’t find it in you to be surprised when you see Mingyu already looking at you. An unsaid question dances in his eyes, wary and timid.
Are you sure this is okay?
You gulp, worrying your lips between your teeth before shrugging. Yes, it’s fine.
He raises his eyebrow. This is the first time you’ve acknowledged him tonight.
Really?
You shrug again. Really.
And you leave it at that, turning again to look outside.
Seokmin takes fifteen minutes to find a decent parking spot, so when you finally enter the nightclub, you’re prepared for the scowl on Seungkwan’s face when he spots the four of you. He scolds Seokmin first and receives a flick to his forehead in response, which only angers him more. Before you can meet his wrath, you slip away, moving to enter the booth and letting Mingyu and Minghao get the brunt of Seungkwan’s rage and disappointment.
“Y/N!” Chan exclaims when you settle next to him, wrapping his arms around your torso to give you a brief hug before sliding you his unfinished pint of beer. “I haven’t talked to you in forever!”
When you take a sip of the alcohol, you try your best to hide your grimace when the lukewarm liquid hits your tongue. “I talked to you at the barbecue two days ago.”
“Well, I missed you. Sue me,” he throws his hands up in exasperation. Across from you, Vernon hides his amused smile behind his own pint. “You come home after, what, three years? Forgive me if I’ve become clingy.”
“Didn’t know you missed me so much.”
Vernon’s eyes are dripping with mirth. “He went broke from using all his coins at the fountain in town square,” he says, laughing when Chan shoots him daggers. “He went there whenever he was free and was wishing you’d come back—”
“He’s exaggerating,” Chan huffs. In retaliation to Vernon’s teasing, Chan takes his friend’s pint of beer and chugs it down until there is nothing left. “I only wished whenever Mingyu was home, he was so mopey, he would’ve been happier if you were here.”
You freeze.
“Okay,” Vernon interjects, pushing himself out of his seat to move all the empty glasses away from Chan, as if doing so will help the situation. He throws you an apologetic look, though it lacks his usual sincerity. “That’s enough for tonight.”
Chan whines. “But I wanted to do tequila shots with everyone.”
“Drink this first,” Vernon instructs.
Chan grumbles but accepts the glass of water Vernon gives him.
Before you can say something about Chan’s offhanded comment, the rest of your friends climb into the booth, and Vernon and Chan ease their way into their conversation as soon as everyone’s seated. You lean back, cowering behind Minghao and Chan’s frames as Seungkwan makes a joke you barely catch and Minghao repeats every story he told on the journey here.
You try your best to engage in the conversation, really, but it’s been so long since you’ve been with this group of people. As they discuss events you were never there for, snippets of a summer you weren’t part of, the awkwardness begins to build in your stomach, because it was never supposed to be like this, you were never supposed to feel left out.
If the person you were a few years ago saw you now, you know they’d be a little disappointed. Maybe they’d pity you, too.
The consequences, you suppose, of never coming home.
Sighing, you gesture for Minghao to slip out of the booth so you can get out. You say something about going to the bar to get another drink, and he nods, squeezing your shoulder — his silent way of telling you to stay safe — before letting you go.
You try your best to avoid any stumbling individuals, wrinkling your nose and murmuring apologies that get lost in the noise when you can’t avoid bumping into someone. With a glance over your shoulder, you make sure your friends aren’t paying any attention to you before making your way towards the exit.
It’s a warm evening, but it’s cooler than it is inside, and you relish in the temporary peace before you have to inevitably make your way back. They’ll notice if you’re gone too long, and they’ve always been easy to worry.
“Hey.”
A tall frame enters your periphery, clad in a loose white t-shirt and light-washed jeans, staring ahead at the passing cars. You ignore the way his face falls when you shuffle further to the side, away from him.
Your history aside, Kim Mingyu has always run hot. Before, you wouldn’t mind — before, you would’ve been clinging onto him — but time has passed, and you aren’t the same people you were back in high school.
A part of you misses it. There is something so comfortable about Mingyu that you can only describe in insignificant memories, like when he moves you to the side furthest from the road, or when he wraps his scarf around your neck because the cold is nipping at your nose, or when he buys mini versions of your skincare products to keep in his house for when you’re too tired to drive back home.
It's almost homely. Like a hug, maybe.
(You missed it a lot, at first, his aura. Whenever you needed it most, you’d lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and instead of sheep lulling you into slumber, it’s him. Way back when, he’d rub circles into your wrist to help you fall asleep, and you think of it then, because it used to bring you so much comfort).
(In your dreams, you murmur his name — Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu — like a prayer, like an incantation).
“I’m sorry.”
You jolt in surprise. Not at his voice, but at the apology. “Why?”
“You’re uncomfortable.”
“I’m not,” you protest with a frown. “I’m just… I couldn’t think of how to contribute to the conversation, that’s all.”
“Oh,” Mingyu says gently. He looks relieved. “So, you’re okay that I’m here?”
“Yeah, I mean, they’re your friends, too.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
A quiet moment passes, and you see the relief begin to crumble.
“Yeah, I don’t mind that you’re here,” you offer. The next sentence slips out before you can stop it, “I’m glad, actually.”
His eyes widen in surprise. “You are?”
You shift uncomfortably on your feet, wincing. “A little. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Before this month, you only saw him through Instagram, glimpses of his life that were curated to make his life seem special and happy and void of any worries. You only heard about him — the real him — when his name accidentally slipped out of your friends’ or your family’s mouths.
You can’t help but think that it wasn’t enough.
“How’s school?” he asks, subtly moving so he’s slightly facing you.
“It’s alright,” you answer. “Stressful, but that’s a given. My roommate got a boyfriend, though. He leaves his shit everywhere and he acts like he lives there.”
A soft chuckle leaves his lips. “Yeah, I know, Minghao told me.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Oh? Why would he tell you that?”
“I asked,” he shrugs. You finally, really look at him now, and your confusion is evident. He seems unfazed by it, but you can see the crimson slowly climbing up his neck. “I ask about you sometimes.”
“Why?”
You know why, you think. What’s the point in asking when you already know the reason behind his actions and intentions? Your soul is intertwined with his, it has been for a while, but you can’t seem to accept it.
You still hurt.
Minghao’s right. Maybe the closure is needed.
“Because I care about you,” he confesses, trying his best to hide his yearning. “You were my best friend, and I want to know if you’re still doing okay.”
Your fingers shake, so you stuff them into the pockets of your sweater. “And what do they tell you when you ask?”
He hesitates, scanning your face while he plans his best course of action. The wounds haven’t closed, the stitches were poorly sewn, and blood spills out of the cuts he left like the damage he’s done is fresh.
“They tell me that I should ask you myself,” he says, “But sometimes they take pity on me, and they’ll tell me things you’ve told them. Like the roommate situation, or the barista who fucked up your order, or how you scored the highest on an exam— congratulations, by the way.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. “Thank you,” you reply meekly.
“It’s no problem,” he responds. Contemplation flickers across his face before he adds, rather reluctantly, “I’m proud of you, you know.”
You feel the same way you did when he first confessed, like an immature and blubbering teenager, full of hope and optimism and dreams of what could be.
“Mingyu—”
“I mean it,” he interrupts. “I’ve seen the stuff you’ve posted, and I should’ve congratulated you then, I know that, but—”
You give him a small smile. “Better late than never.”
He flashes you a grin, the same one you’d longed to see, the one you used to humiliate yourself for. You would’ve done anything to see him smile like that — a smile that isn’t put on just for show, but one that’s genuine and blinding. It’s something reserved for certain people, those who have seen through the illusion that was created for him, those who have seen it and still love him for who he is, despite his faults and imperfections.
He nods. “Better late than never.”
Despite your best efforts to squash your delight, your heart escapes your desperate grip, and it soars.
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It’s cold.
The ground has frozen over, leaving jagged pieces of ice all over the concrete. The snow, previously a crisp white, has turned brown due to its contact with cars. The wind is cold, persistent, it refuses to let you forget about its existence with each gust.
On the other side of the parking lot, you see your friends whisper amongst themselves before one of them throws his hands up in exasperation and stomps over to his car, a beat-up vehicle with torn polyester seats and discarded bubblegum wrappers on the floor. He’s grumbling something under his breath as he settles into the driver’s seat and leaves without so much as a goodbye.
It’s cold, and something’s wrong.
Your eyes find Mingyu’s and your stomach sinks.
Something’s wrong, but you’re unsure whether you’ll find out what it is tonight.
“Hey,” you say once he’s in earshot. He stiffens at the sound of your voice. “Is Seokmin okay?”
“Yeah,” Mingyu says. “I’ll just apologize tomorrow morning.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing big.” He tightens the scarf around his neck and turns to walk towards his car. You follow, because with Mingyu you always do, and look at him over the roof as he digs in his pockets for his keys.
You clench your jaw, uncomfortable (when was the last time you’ve felt unpleasant around him? Things have started getting weirder since everyone started sending in their college applications). You wonder if you should push for answers, but you stop yourself before you can open your mouth. You’ve never done something like this before — Mingyu has always told you everything; secrets between the two of you are scarce.
He unlocks the doors. “Is it okay if we stop by the convenience store before I bring you home? I gotta buy some ramen for my sister.”
He looks tired. Maybe you can ask him about what happened another day.
“Yeah, sure.”
He nods in thanks and enters before another gust of wind hits — it’s harsher this time, as if it’s sending you a warning.
You really should’ve brought your own scarf.
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When your family yells for you to open the door, the last thing you expect to see on the other side of it is Kim Mingyu.
Your ire is gone in a flash.
“Um…”
Mingyu winces. “Hi. Sorry, I— your brother called me, he said it was an emergency, and I was worried, so—”
“Mingyu!” your brother yells excitedly, running out of the kitchen before throwing his arms around Mingyu’s torso. “You’re here! Thank God, Y/N was ruining the cake—”
You scoff loudly. “What the fuck, Daeshim? You’re the one who put in salt instead of sugar—"
“Get in, get in!” Daeshim says cheerily, throwing you a glare. You narrow your eyes in return, ignoring how Mingyu’s hands brush against yours when he makes his way towards the kitchen after toeing off his shoes. Daeshim pokes you. “I’m telling Mom you swore.”
“What are you, five?”
Daeshim sticks his tongue out. “Add some money in the swear jar.”
“I hate you,” you deadpan. Your eyes flicker to the white sneakers neatly placed by the other footwear, worn from years of use. “Why did you ask him to come here?”
Your brother shrugs. “He usually stops by, anyway, to help for Mom’s birthday.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah,” he says sarcastically, gesturing for you to move so he can shut the front door. “Are you sure you guys broke up? Cause when you didn’t come home for the summer, he would still check up on us and stuff, and he’d always ask about you. It was so weird. It felt like I was a child of divorce.”
You smack him on the head. “Can you not say that about my relationship?”
“Well, it’s not a relationship anymore,” he quips.
You tense, crossing your arms so you don’t give Daeshim the delight of seeing your clenched fists. “You know what I meant.”
“If you don’t want to stay, then go. But he’s not going anywhere until Mom’s cake is done.”
“Why not? We were doing just fine without him.”
“Are you serious? You know he’s better at baking than you ever will be.”
“Okay, rude.”
“It’s true—”
“Uh, guys?” Both of your heads snap to wear Mingyu peeks around the corner, his amusement thinly veiled behind his distress. “Your kitchen’s a mess.”
Daeshim grins, pointing his finger at you. “Y/N’s fault!” he exclaims before heading to the kitchen.
You poke your cheek with your tongue in annoyance, watching your sibling nonchalantly disappear from your line of sight before you focus on Mingyu. He’s leaning against the wall now, hands shoved in his sweatpants and his head tilted to the side. He looks at you like he’s studying you, trying to find a sign of any kind that he needs to leave.
He must’ve found nothing because he stays.
You clear your throat, straightening your posture. “It was not my fault.”
His lips quirk up. “Oh, I’m sure.”
He disappears before you can retort.
(He’s always been good at that — leaving before you have a chance to fight).
When you finally join them in the kitchen, there’s a familiar baby pink apron around Mingyu’s neck, already splattered with cake batter as he whisks something in a steel bowl. Daeshim is crouched in front of the fridge, putting containers of leftovers on the floor in search of something. You kick his leg with your foot, throwing him off balance, and you both give each other matching scowls.
“Don’t put the Tupperware on the floor.”
He rolls his eyes but picks them up without argument, placing them on the empty counter by the fridge. You don’t understand why he couldn’t have done that in the first place, but Daeshim is notorious for making terrible decisions.
You don’t miss the way Mingyu’s eyes soften when he sees you. “You’re gonna help?”
“I came with the intention to supervise Daeshim and make sure he doesn’t accidentally set something on fire, but…” you shrug, “I could help, yeah.”
“Perfect,” Mingyu grins. “Can you get the baking pan?”
You do as he asks, handing it over to him over the kitchen island. “You’re gonna put it in the oven already? Daeshim was complaining about the batter so much he almost convinced me there was no saving it.”
Mingyu snorts as he cautiously pours the mixture into the pan. “He was just being overdramatic—”
Daeshim snaps from his spot near the fridge. “Are you guys just gonna talk about me as if I’m not here?”
“—it was only a little runny,” he assures, making sure not a drop of batter ends up on the floor or the countertop. Once he’s done, he brushes his hands on the apron and wipes his forehead with his arm. “Can you put it in the oven? You guys preheated it, right?”
You hum in confirmation, carefully placing the tin in the oven as Mingyu steps over Daeshim to try and get to the sink. You frown at your brother, who’s been scouring for something since you walked in. “What the hell are you even looking for?”
“Strawberry milk.”
“I drank it all.”
Daeshim huffs. “Of course you did.” He stands, slamming the fridge door with a dramatic flick of his wrist before hastily making his way out of the kitchen and towards the exit. “I’m gonna go to the convenience store to get some.”
“Wha— No, you have to help clean—”
“Can’t hear you!”
There’s a few more footsteps and the sound of Daeshim struggling to put his shoes on before the door inevitably slams shut.
You don’t let the shock of your brother’s irritating audacity bother you for too long. The way your fingers swipe through your phone to find his contact is lightning quick, but the first call is sent to voicemail and before you can even try his cell a second time, you find that you’re blocked.
Prick.
Mingyu’s humming catches your attention. You look up from your phone to find him with his back against the sink. “Voicemail?”
“Blocked.”
Mingyu snorts. “Of course.”
You send him an awkward smile before turning away so you don’t have to face him. You and Mingyu haven’t spoken since last week on that trip out of town; after the two of you slipped back inside, no words were exchanged except for an apprehensive goodnight when Seokmin dropped you off at home.
With friends as nosy as your own, privacy is hard to come by, but now, in their absence, there’s nothing more you want than a buffer. The tension’s become more palpable without a third party, and your palms are getting clammy at just the thought of searching for an excuse to kick Mingyu out of the house without hurting his feelings.
(Why do you care? He hurt you first, didn’t he?)
“Hey,” Mingyu calls out tentatively. “Do you want me to help clean up? It’s a mess in here.” When you don’t reply, he adds, “I don’t want you to do this all by yourself.”
You take a look at the kitchen around you and decide that you don’t want him to leave, either.
“Okay.”
Mingyu grins. “Okay.”
It doesn’t take long for the two of you to find a system that’s not messy or chaotic or involves stepping into the other’s path — you and Mingyu have always been like that, like a cohesive unit. The feeling that shoots through your veins at the realization that you still are is nothing short of euphoric.
Before you know it, the kitchen is clean. The surface sparkles as Mingyu swipes a finger at it to see if there’s anything he’s missed, looking up at you with fleeting disappointment.
You think he’s about to announce that it’s time for him to go, but he surprises you when what comes out of his mouth is a question instead.
“Can I ask you something?”
You press yourself against the counter, thankful for the kitchen island acting as a barrier between you both. “Sure.”
“If we…” he pauses. Regret already begins to fester in his skin, pulled down by the weight of his frown and the pinch in his eyebrows. “Uh, never mind.”
Your heart lurches in your ribcage. “Mingyu—”
“It’s fine,” he assures but his smile is tight, and his tone says otherwise, “I should probably head back. I’ll — uh — I’ll see you?”
You gnaw at your bottom lip. “Yeah,” you say, ignoring the way your heart begins to crack as Mingyu unties the apron and slips it over his head. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”
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A worrying cloud has attached itself to you, nibbling on every last bit of your sanity like a parasite. Because something is wrong, you’re sure of it, even if everyone around you acts otherwise. Seokmin still laughs and makes bad jokes, Minghao still scolds you for not bundling up more when it’s so cold outside, and Mingyu still attracts attention and reaches for your hand and pokes your cheek whenever you’re not paying enough attention to him.
Everything is normal.
(But…)
“Does this look stupid?” Mingyu asks, staring at the banner he’s hung up.
Minghao grabs a macaroon from the table and rearranges the assortment, so it looks like he never laid a finger on it. “Yes.”
Mingyu huffs before turning to you. “Is it really?”
“It’s a little crooked,” you say, taking your eyes off him for a moment when Minghao presses the macaroon into your palm after making a face to suggest he doesn’t like it.
As Mingyu assesses the best way to fix the Happy Birthday! banner, Minghao starts poking at the pile of presents. You frown, kicking his ankle with your foot in an attempt to get him to stop. He only flicks your shoulder in response.
“Don’t touch those,” you hiss.
“I’m just trying to guess what other people got him,” Minghao retorts.
You deadpan, “You’re sizing up the competition.”
“Yes,” he confirms, “I need to make sure my present is better than all of these.”
“You got him a gift card to Party City. I didn’t even know they had those.”
“He can use it for Halloween!”
“Halloween is nine months away.”
“Oh, whatever,” Minghao grumbles. “Seungkwan will find some sort of use for it. All that matters is that my present isn’t the worst one.” He turns to you, jabbing a finger at your shoulder. “Hey, wait, what did you get him?”
You push his wrist as a scowl takes over your previous amused expression. “What’s it to you?”
“You’re a horrible gift-giver.”
“That’s not true!” you object, immediately turning to walk over to Mingyu, who’s staring at the banner in distress. “Gyu! I need to ask you something—”
“Nuh-uh, you can’t ask him, he’ll agree with you!”
You mockingly pout at Minghao before tugging Mingyu’s sleeve. “Hey, babe, question.”
Mingyu’s more than happy to have his attention on something else, letting his hands that were previously taping up the banner fall onto your shoulders. “What’s up?”
“I’m a good gift-giver, right?”
A moment passes. You scoff. Minghao cackles.
“Listen—”
“What the hell?”
“I love you and everything,” Mingyu begins, “but you really aren’t.”
“I hate you.”
“You don’t,” he says quickly. “You love me. Even though you gave me a terrible birthday present last year.”
“You said you liked that apron!”
Minghao pipes up, “There’s a reason why he leaves it at your house, Y/N.”
You gasp, pointing an accusing finger at your boyfriend’s chest. Before you have a chance to defend your honour, Seokmin comes barrelling into the rented community centre, carrying two boxes of used decorations.
“Hey, guys,” he exhales, out of breath, dropping the large containers on the floor with a relieved huff. “So, the guests are coming in, like, twenty minutes, and Chan’s getting Seungkwan here in forty-five, so that should give us enough time to finish decorating… Mingyu, I thought I told you to deal with the banner?”
“It’s not cooperating with me,” your boyfriend whines.
Seokmin rolls his eyes before stomping over to the wall to fix the banner himself. Mingyu follows, grabbing the tape on his way so he can help. They don’t talk, at least not at a volume that allows you to hear what they’re saying — it’s only heated whispers that are exchanged, and you catch a glimpse of Mingyu’s nervous expression before it disappears completely.
He looks over his shoulder and flashes you a smile and it’s the same one you’ve seen him give everyone else. It’s a mask.
This isn’t something you should be on the receiving end of.
You open your mouth to say something — to say what, exactly, you aren’t sure — but Minghao tugs at your wrists and holds up a packet of balloons.
“We should start doing something before Seokmin gets mad,” he says before dragging you out of Seokmin and Mingyu’s earshot.
It’ll be okay, you think. This will pass over and your friend group will still be as close as you can be once university comes and you and Mingyu pack your bags, leaving this small town behind.
(But your worries refuse to let go; they’ve seeped into your bones, and you think their weight may crush you until you’re broken beyond repair. But ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve always said to yourself. And you’ve never needed to worry about something like this, whatever it is, before).
Everything will be fine.
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Everything will not be fine, and you aren’t sure why Minghao thought it would be, but he was unbelievably wrong.
A rainy day has caused a picnic in the park to turn into a board game night at Seokmin’s house, and a homicidal game of Monopoly (a skit between Chan and Seokmin had been the last straw before Minghao flipped the board over) quickly transformed into a homicidal game of Twister. Before you is a jungle of limbs, and you’re glad that you were fast enough to volunteer to spin the wheel so you wouldn’t be caught in the inevitable crossfire.
“Left hand, red.”
Chan’s complaints come immediately.
“Chan,” Seungkwan warns, “I will kill you if you try to push me off.”
“I haven’t even moved yet.”
Seungkwan mocks his words with a high-pitched tone that barely resembles Chan’s voice before Minghao scolds them to cut it out and hurry up. Chan scoffs indignantly before moving his hand to a free red circle, struggling to find his balance.
“Are you good?” you ask blankly.
“Fine,” he grits out, “Just go so it gets to my turn faster.”
“Go slower!” Vernon exclaims from beside you, the first to be eliminated with his phone in one hand and a handful of popcorn in the other.
“Fuck you, Vernon!”
You spin the wheel. “Hao, right foot, green.”
Minghao huffs, but his new position, although uncomfortable, has given him the perfect opportunity to sabotage Seokmin. Almost as if they can sense your thoughts, your friends look at each other, one mischievous and the other in warning, before Minghao fakes a move, successfully luring Seokmin into his trap when the latter flinches and flails like a fish out of water before landing on his side.
Seokmin groans, sitting up and rubbing his ribcage as everyone laughs. He looks to you, giving you those puppy-dog eyes that always manage to worm him out of any undesirable situation he’s ever found himself in, but you only shrug helplessly in response. Seokmin sighs, flicking Minghao’s forehead, before making he settles beside you in all his pouty, wronged glory.
“It’s okay,” Vernon says from your other side, phone speaker pressed against his ear as a video of what just occurred plays on the phone. The sound of Seokmin’s yelp of surprise from 30 seconds ago causes your lips to twitch upwards. “You’ll get them next time!”
Seokmin leans into your shoulder. “Y/N! He’s making fun of me!”
You pat him reassuringly. “You’ll survive, don’t worry.”
“Hey!” Seungkwan interrupts. “Spin the wheel! It’s my turn.”
“Okay, okay! Right foot, blue.”
Much to your surprise, the rest of the game goes by smoothly with Seungkwan as the victor. Chan is beside himself, grumbling with his arms crossed as Seungkwan mimics the fall that led to his demise. When Chan opens his mouth to snap back, Minghao reaches over Vernon’s lap for the remote to increase the volume of the TV.
Once their argument has died down, Chan suggests, “Does anyone want to play Cards Against Humanity?”
“Lame, absolutely not,” Seokmin replies instantly. “I’m hungry.”
Seungkwan makes himself comfortable on the armchair. “Pizza should be coming soon. Who ordered it, anyway?” Mingyu raises his hand. “What did you get?”
“One cheese, one pepperoni.”
Chan boos, making a comment about the mediocre order which Mingyu skillfully brushes off, immune to his friends’ instigations after years of receiving them.
Minghao pokes Mingyu with his foot. “Can you check to see what time it’ll get here?”
Mingyu unlocks his phone while Vernon begins complaining about having to register for classes first thing tomorrow morning. His whines are halted, however, when Mingyu sharply inhales a breath and clears his throat sheepishly.
You raise an eyebrow. Everyone in the room knows what that means.
“Oh, what did you do now?”
“Seungkwan! What makes you think I did something wrong?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
Mingyu shakes his head before turning his phone so the screen is facing all of you. The screen says the order’s been good to go for the past five minutes, but— “I accidentally ordered for pick-up, not delivery.”
Chan rolls his eyes. “Then go pick it up.”
“What?”
“Well, it says the order’s ready, right? Go pick it up.”
“But I’m so comfortable here.”
“And we’re hungry.”
“Why does it have to be me?”
“Whose fault is it that the pizza guy isn’t on Seokmin’s doorstep right now?”
Mingyu huffs, clearly having run out of retorts. He’s quick to admit defeat, pushing himself off the couch and adjusting the hoodie that’s ridden up his torso. You watch his every move, ignoring Minghao’s gaze.
Just as he begins searching for his car keys, Minghao pipes up, “You shouldn’t go alone, though.”
Mingyu frowns. “Huh? Why not?”
“Because you’re clumsy and you’ll drop something.”
“Can’t you guys put some faith in me—?”
“Y/N could go with you.”
Mingyu closes his mouth, trapping any more complaints behind his teeth. You stare at Minghao like a deer caught in headlights.
Vernon is the first to protest, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I don’t—”
“Mingyu’s clumsy and he’ll drop something,” Minghao repeats impatiently. He shares a glance with Seokmin, who seems to understand Minghao’s intentions in milliseconds.
“Yeah, and we can’t let Y/N go by themselves because the last time they drove they ran over my mailbox.”
You squawk in protest. “That was when I was sixteen, I—”
“And I’ve feared you every time you’ve gotten behind a wheel ever since,” Seokmin says. He swiftly dodges Seungkwan’s questioning nudge and Chan’s panic, giving you the biggest smile he can muster before letting his eyes land back on Minghao.
Minghao looks at you, apologetic and stern all at once. “The ride will only be, like, ten minutes. Five minutes there and back,” he shrugs, turning away to face the TV. “You’re both adults, you’ll be fine.”
You think you might strangle them.
“Okay,” Mingyu says from behind you. You look at him, he stares back. “We’ll be okay. Right?”
He’s offering you one last final chance to back out. Your fingers twitch at your side before you gulp, nodding. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.”
You’re shoved out the door before you can even blink, wearing Seokmin’s old Crocs instead of the sneakers you had arrived with (“These are faster to put on, make haste, make haste! Get out of here, I want my pizza!”). You sink further and further into the passenger seat as Mingyu pulls out of the driveway, trying your best to focus on anything besides him.
But it proves to be impossible. The air freshener is the same as it was all those years ago, the same cheap dog bobblehead is on the dashboard, the pack of gum he’s left in the cupholder is the same one he used to buy in bulk at the supermarket. Nothing in here has changed, as if the vehicle is stuck in time, refusing to move forward despite all the years that have passed.
Mingyu must’ve noticed you staring at the gum because he picks it up and hands it to you in silent offering. You shake your head, and he puts it down.
The awkwardness might as well eat you whole.
The radio does nothing to ease the tension when the next song that plays is about heartbreak and being left behind while everyone moves on. Your sanity is hanging on by a thread that might snap if you’re in this car any longer.
In the corner of your eye, Mingyu opens his mouth to speak, but he decides against it when the pizza parlour comes into view. He swiftly parks by the front entrance, and once you get out, you notice that the car is centred perfectly between the lines.
You suppose he’s gotten better at driving over the years. The last time you were here, he’d parked so crookedly your stomach hurt from laughing.
“Hey,” Mingyu says, staring at you quizzically. “Are you good?”
“Yeah,” you murmur, slipping past him when he holds the door open for you. “Thanks.”
He walks up to the counter, saying his order number to the employee and nodding understandingly when she explains that one of the pizzas had been dropped on the floor and they’ve gone to remake the order. He returns to you — beside you, as if it has always been his rightful place — hands tucked into his pockets as he sways on the balls of his feet.
This must be some form of torture, you think. Minghao and Seokmin have done this in retaliation for every bad thing you’ve ever done to them.
(“Seokmin and I love you both,” Minghao confesses over the phone, face blurry due to your unpredictable wi-fi, “You know that, right?”
“I do.”
“And we really think you should talk to each other,” he says, and even though you’re not looking at your phone, you can tell he’s staring at you in that analytical way of his while you try to finish an assignment. “Maybe it’ll do you some good.”
You sigh. “Hao—”
“It’s been three months. Let him explain.”
“I did,” you hiss. “He was the one that left.”
Silence. You rub your temples.
When you finally look at Minghao, he’s remorseful. “Sorry,” he murmurs, flopping onto his bed and letting his camera pan up to the ceiling. You can no longer see his face, but you can hear the despair in his voice. “It’s just hard, being in the middle of this.”
“I’m not asking you to pick sides.”
“I know that,” he argues softly. “I just want everything to go back to normal.”)
You dig your nails into your skin as Mingyu begins humming to a song playing over the speakers. It’s one that they’ve been playing for years, a pop song that will have to be pried out of a radio host’s dead, cold hands.
It’s a song Mingyu despises.
(It’s so catchy, though, he used to tell you, ashamed. You need to save me from it).
When Daeshim had called you at the end of the semester, the first thing out of his lips was a question about your return. You had agreed with reluctance, and he said something about how long it’s been, how time heals all wounds, that nothing should hurt anymore.
But three years cannot erase a lifetime.
You foolishly thought it could. When you arrived, you pretended you didn’t see an old photo of him taped on your closet door. When you first saw him at the supermarket, you ignored the way his hand twitched to reach over to you. When he talked to you outside of that nightclub, you evaded the familiarity of his warmth like it was a virus.
You foolishly thought it was enough. You built a wall of indifference around yourself, but it had begun to chip away just as quickly as you constructed it. It was never foolproof. It was never made of stone, but of cards.
One glance from Mingyu and it all comes tumbling down.
“Minghao told me a few days ago that you wanted to talk,” Mingyu says once the song has ended.
“Yeah.”
“But you don’t want to.”
“Not yet, no.”
“Well,” he says, taking a step towards the counter when the employee calls out his order number, “whenever you’re ready to, I’m here.”
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“Something’s wrong.”
He understands what you mean. You’re not referring to the TV that won’t play the movie or the takeout that tastes a little off. You look at him nervously, afraid to break the flimsy spell of calm he’s enchanted on everything he touches.
“Yeah,” he replies, gripping the armrest tightly.
You blink at him, waiting for something he won’t offer. For a moment, he thinks you might push, but you have never been one to do so; you have always believed that doing something like that only throws you down a road of hurt.
So, he shouldn’t be surprised when you eventually nod in defeat.
“Well,” you say with a smile reserved for strangers you can only pretend to care about, “if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”
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Four friends occupy a small corner of the skatepark. One of them is on the ramps, appearing in the air to do a trick before disappearing from sight. Another is rolling down the concrete, hands stretched out to maintain balance.
Two sit in the shade, watching.
“Do you think they’ll talk soon?” one of them asks, a taller boy with light brown hair and a beauty mark near the apple of his cheek.
The other, dressed in all black despite the sweltering heat, runs a hand through his mullet. “I don’t know, Seokmin. Probably. Hopefully.”
“Do you think they’re mad at us for forcing them to get the pizza?”
“Yes.”
Seokmin snorts, but his amusement is short-lived. He continues to observe his friends as they stray further and further from each other. He catches the way they glance over their shoulders in concern.
“They’re stupid, aren’t they, Minghao?” he finally says. The boy beside him hums in agreement. “Were they always like this in high school?”
“I don’t think so,” Minghao replies. “If they were, I don’t know how I managed to survive.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Hypocrite.”
Seokmin sticks his tongue out. Then, quietly, as if the other two friends will hear, he says, “Well, they need to hurry up and talk. I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he grumbles. “Maybe if I just told Y/N about it sooner, or pushed Mingyu—”
“Probably,” Minghao interrupts before Seokmin can concoct any more what-ifs from his brain. His stomach churns at the numerous possibilities he will never see. “But there’s nothing we can do it about it now.”
“Maybe things would be better if we did things differently.”
“Yeah, but the past is the past. Besides,” he sighs, watching one friend trip on his way towards them and the other struggle to stop themselves on the board, “this isn’t our problem to fix. I don’t think it ever was. We’ll just leave it to them.”
“You really think they’ll work it out?”
“God. I really hope so. It would put all of us out of our misery.”
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Spring has long since bled into winter when you find yourself at the skatepark, wearing a sweater that was never yours with your heart dangling from its sleeve. It’s chilly at this hour of the morning when the world is quiet and your denial is prominent, and it gets even colder when your name falls from Mingyu’s lips and his touch is uncharacteristically icy against your skin.
You rip your wrist from his grasp and hurt flashes across his face before he takes a step back.
“I—” he gulps, “you shouldn’t run out like that.”
He purses his lips, and you notice how chapped they’ve gotten over the past few days. Everything about him has roughened up — it goes farther than his dry hands and the unruly state of his hair; he’s grown distant. He looks at you with a mixture of emotions you can’t explain, his words have are clipped, and you aren’t sure how long this behaviour would’ve gone on for if you hadn’t caught him signing up for classes at a university he never told you he was going to attend.
“You lied to me.”
He exhales shakily. “I know. I’m sorry, I—” he rubs a hand over his face because he doesn’t know what to say. Mingyu isn’t like this. People would kill to own even a sliver of his charisma; it’s so easy for him to talk himself out of things, but the words have died in his mouth before they even reached the tip of his tongue.
“You—You should’ve told me,” you stammer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mingyu has never felt this moronic before, standing before you and stretching his hand in your direction only to watch how, every time without fail, you take a step back as if any contact from him will result in third-degree burns.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “But you were already so worried about all of us growing apart after graduation, and I didn’t want to add onto that stress. So I kept putting it off, and I shouldn’t have, I know that, I just—” his face falls, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
It takes everything in him not to flinch when your anger flares. Your resolve is rotting away to dissolve into the morning air; he thinks, offhandedly, that the molecules of your decaying calm have collided once again and found purchase over his head. A cloud to loom over him, made up of your melancholy and his guilt.
“You didn’t want to hurt me,” you say incredulously, in a tone so hurt that Mingyu’s heart drops. “Well, look where we are now, Mingyu.”
He doesn’t like the position he’s put the both of you in. He doesn’t like how this conversation is tainting every happy memory he ever had at this skatepark. He wonders if he’ll see your hurt expression every time he closes his eyes.
This could’ve been avoided, he’s aware of that. Seokmin made sure to voice his disapproval every time they crossed paths, Minghao’s veil of indifference was slowly crumbling with each passing day, and Seungkwan — who made the mistake of being around when Mingyu let it slip that his post-graduation plans didn’t match yours — grew more nervous than all of them combined.
For as long as he can remember, everyone he knows has never done well with secrets. He’s always been a firm believer that they’re parasitic, the reason behind every downfall he’s ever had the displeasure of witnessing. But that was before he had a secret worth keeping.
(It does not matter if it’s worth it or not. At the end of the day, he was right all along. They are infectious, deadly little things).
Soon after he was born, it was common belief amongst townsfolk that he would change the world. It did not matter how; they would support him regardless. He thinks his entire being may as well have been made from diamonds with how he was created to be the star of something he never asked to be part of.
It’s exhausting.
The university you two had chosen at fifteen-years-old was perfect for you. When you took the virtual tours and exchanged messages with its students, you looked like you had stepped right out of a fairy tale. But it was two hours away from this town, so far yet so close to the very thing that’s been draining him of energy, and he quickly came to realize last summer that your dream school was the last thing he wanted.
But you would’ve followed him anywhere. If it weren’t for his, Minghao, and Seokmin’s insistence, you would’ve chosen to stay at home, because you never liked the idea of leaving everything behind.
That’s where you and he differ.
And he couldn’t take that from you.
Because you and him were always believed to be cut from the same cloth — model students, the perfect fit — but everything he touched tarnished and everything you touched turned to gold dust. He’s hidden behind an illusion all his life, but he knows for a fact that you’re meant to go above and beyond every expectation that’s ever been set for you.
Who is he to get in the way of that?
(He’s sure the only thing that’s setting you back is him. It has always been him. It’s only a matter of time before you realize it, too).
“I love you,” he confesses suddenly, startling you to your core. “And I’m so sorry.”
You look at him warily. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I fucked up,” he says.
“Yeah, you did.”
“But…” he trails off. When your eyes meet, something ignites inside of you.
(You have always known him better than any of them ever could).
“Mingyu—”
“Maybe it’s for the best if we—”
“Mingyu.”
He closes his eyes and hopes it’s enough to push the tears back. “I love you,” he says again, but his lips are quivering, and a sob threatens to escape the confines of his throat. “I love you so much that it physically hurt to do that to you, but it was for the better—”
Disbelief engulfs you in an instant, and you take a spontaneous step towards him in your surprise. “You’re not making a lot of sense right now,” you say, frantic, “I’m still really fucking mad at you, but we can talk this out, because I have no idea what you’re—”
“Just listen to me, Y/N, I don’t think—”
“You listen to me, because—”
“You deserve so much better than this, don’t you know that?” he snaps, shrinking into himself seconds later. His voice shakes with frustration. This hurts him beyond your imagination, but he’d do anything for you, even if it ends with him sporting wounds that will never heal. “And I’m holding you back, and I— I can’t do that to you. Not anymore.”
A sob melts into your words before you can stop it. “So you think the best way to fix that is to move across the country?”
“There were better ways to go about it,” he admits. “Ways that wouldn’t have ended like this, but I stand by what I said, Y/N.”
“Don’t do this, Mingyu. You don’t get to—” you stutter, inhaling hastily to regain your composure before looking him through your teary vision, “—you don’t get to break up with me over something as stupid as this.”
“I don’t deserve you,” he says it like a mantra, like it’s engraved into his brain and there’s no use trying to rid him of it.
“You don’t get to decide that!” you exclaim. “And even if that was true, it doesn’t matter to me. We love each other, Mingyu, isn’t that enough?”
You go to cup his face. This time, it’s he who takes a step back, and his heart screeches in pain at the sight of your crestfallen face.
“Maybe if I—” he runs a hand through his hair and tugs at the strands, forcing himself to continue, “Maybe if I loved you less, I’d let myself be selfish. But that’s not the case. That’s never been the case.”
That day you do not leave the skatepark with a scrape on your knee or a new bruise on your shins. But you don’t leave unscathed, either.
Your heart has been ripped from your chest, and Kim Mingyu carries the remnants of it with him.
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Mingyu always liked people-watching.
He’d tell you it was nice to be on the other side of the microscope; to observe, not be observed. On the trips out of town, he’d sit anywhere that was bustling with people and make up stories about anyone who caught his eye: he’s cheating on his wife with his high school sweetheart, or she’s talking to her estranged cousin and she’s threatening to get a restraining order, or that little boy was meant to be a twin but he ate his sibling in the womb.
“That guy’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend even though they broke up a decade ago,” Mingyu says, subtly nodding towards a man supervising his child on the ramps.
The snort that escapes you dents the discomfort hanging in the air. “He reached out to her on Facebook, and it turns out she’s coming to visit.”
“They’re going to meet in the city. He told his wife he has work stuff.”
“His wife’s suspicious. She’s definitely hiring a PI.”
“But the PI sucks, he’s a fake and a scammer. He ends up tailing the wrong guy.”
“And the wife spent good money on him, too.”
“But she doesn’t really care since she paid the investigator using her husband’s money.”
“Good for her! It’s what he deserves for cheating.”
You smile, pressing your legs against your chest as you watch the kid soar through the park on her rollerskates. Her laughter’s loud, and you allow it to ring in your ears to momentarily distract yourself from Mingyu.
It’s overwhelming being here next to him. You’ve been here multiple times since you’ve come home, but the nostalgia and ache of watching him from afar does not compare to what you feel now that he’s by your side, sitting stiff on the park bench with his hands clasped in his lap. The dull throb in your chest becomes more prominent when he glances and catches your eye, hiding his yearning beneath a thin veil of indifference.
You turn away, and that’s enough for him to adorn the last bit of confidence he has. “Why’d you call me here?”
Resting your cheek against your knee, you murmur, “You know why I called you here.”
It does not matter that he’s known you almost as long as you’ve been alive — a room full of newborns would realize that he’s here because you want an explanation.
Closure really would be nice.
“Okay,” he breathes. “Ask me anything.”
When you slipped out of your house this morning, full of anticipation, you thought that it’d be hard for you to find the words. But you’ve stuffed the curiosity down your throat long enough. For years, all you could feel was a weight on your esophagus; the air you’ve been inhaling and expelling is nothing if not tainted with heartbreak, and you crave the feeling of fresh air again — something that’s free from the insecurities and the anguish and everything in between.
“Back then, did you tell Minghao we fought?” you ask. “Because he seems to think that we did. Every time he called me that’s all he would ask. Have you and Mingyu stopped fighting?”
He tilts his head. “Would you not say that was a fight?”
“Well, no,” you reply. “You just ended it, and I was trying to get you not to.”
Mingyu flinches but he’s quick to recover. “Nothing could’ve changed my mind back then.”
“Why?” you demand, unable to hide your despair.
Mingyu finally looks at you without tearing his gaze away. He’s exhausted, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of how early it is or if he’s just as drained from all of this as you are. The limbo between forgiveness and disdain was never made for the weak.
“Listen, I—”
“You told me you didn’t deserve me,” you say, “You don’t get to decide that.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I thought I could’ve been enough for you — I tried to be. But you always had everything planned out and I didn’t, I was living with a façade and you weren’t, and I— I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
Clenching your jaw, you say, “So, you moved.”
“I loved you,” he says quickly before you have the chance to ask him otherwise. “That was never the problem. I was scared. I guess part of me wanted to let go while you still thought I was worth it.”
“Don’t say that, Mingyu.”
“I know, I know,” he replies. “I’m working on the self-worth. It’s hard to come by.”
It hits you then, like you’re standing in the ocean as a large wave of water looms over your figure. You used to watch as everyone fawned over Mingyu as if he was untouchable, a divinity amongst men. You used to watch and lust for the days where you would turn out to be exactly the person he deserved to love.
But while Mingyu ached to be the person everyone made him out to be, you saw past your own desires and those who desired him. Through all that was carefully crafted, you saw him for who he truly was.
And you loved every inch of him. So much so that you’re convinced you’ll never be able to feel this way for anybody else.
“For what it’s worth,” you say, “back then, you were it for me. I would’ve loved you regardless.”
His gaze softens and, for a moment, sitting next to you is the same boy from all those years ago, who accepted your proposal for a date, who asked you to prom, who tattooed eight letters into your skin before slumber took you over.
“If we…” he begins carefully, “If I did things differently, do you think we could’ve made it?”
You shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’d like to think that we would’ve,” you nudge his shoulder in hopes that being playful will lighten the mood. “But none of that matters. We’re here now, and we talked.”
“We talked,” he nods. “We used to be terrible at that.”
“Not the best at communication, sure,” you smile softly. “But at least we fixed it. Better late than never.”
He bites the inside of his cheek to stop his own smile from growing any larger. “Better late than never.”
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The sun envelopes you in a warm hug the moment you sit down, a companion in the serene summer’s day. Sand sticks to your skin, adhered to it by the sweat, clinging to you as if you’re its last hope to live.
The tranquility is interrupted by a screech, and you bet with closed eyes that it’s either Mingyu, who left a while back to get some ice cream and probably dropped it, or Chan, who decided to build a sandcastle close to the ocean despite the various protests he received in response.
You crack an eye open just as the water retreats from the shore. Chan stands before his unfinished monstrosity, staring in distress, while Vernon gives him a look as if to say I told you so.
From where he lies beside you, Seokmin announces, “If it makes you feel any better, it was a little ugly.”
“You said five minutes ago that it was good!”
“I was lying to you.”
“Yeah,” Seungkwan agrees, toeing the area where the castle once resided. “The moat was fucked up, too.”
“It was a moat.”
“And yet you fucked it up.”
Chan gives them an unsavoury gesture before instructing both Vernon and Seungkwan to help him make another. Reluctant but compliant, they take the pails you’d bought last minute at the dollar store and settle themselves farther away from the shore.
Seokmin salutes them for good luck before glancing at his phone. “Is Mingyu still at the boardwalk?"
Minghao hums. “Yeah, the line for ice cream’s probably long.”
“Okay, good,” Seokmin says before poking your shoulder aggressively, ignoring your complaints about how easily you bruise. “Gives me time to interrogate you.”
“Interrogate me?” you ask incredulously. “About what?”
He raises his hand, and you prepare yourself for the worst. It’s over for you the moment Seokmin begins listing things off his fingers. “You willingly sat in the backseat with Mingyu on the way here, you willingly talked to him for the entire car ride, and you willingly offered to go with him to get ice cream.”
“Hardly things to interrogate me over.”
“Hardly things to interrogate me over,” he mimics. “Don’t be ridiculous. Are you guys dating again?”
“What?”
“Ah. Have you two eloped?”
Minghao snorts as he opens the cap to his sunscreen. “Don’t be ridiculous. They’re just engaged.”
Seokmin places a hand on his chest. “Oh, thank goodness—”
“Are you guys insane?” you shriek, briefly scanning the beach in hopes nobody heard your friends’ remarks. “We just talked yesterday.”
“Oh,” Minghao muses, throwing the sunscreen over your head for Seokmin to catch. “And that’s it?”
“That’s it,” you confirm. “What else would there be?”
Minghao shrugs as he rubs the cream onto his arms. “Nothing, I guess.”
A noise escapes Seokmin’s throat, something akin to disagreement. You whip your head to face him as he raises his hands up in defence. “What is it?” you ask him.
“I just…” he waves his hand in the air with a small pout on his lips. “I’m confused, I guess. Everything’s resolved now? Just like that? We’re all friends again?”
“I wouldn’t say we’re friends,” you huff. “I don’t know what we are, either. But we have the rest of the summer to figure that out, so why the rush?”
Seokmin leans back on his elbows. “Well, whatever the two of you are, I’m glad you two talked, it was long overdue.”
Minghao nods in agreement.
From a few feet away, Seungkwan’s voice is loud amongst the waves crashing onto shore, the families relaxing under beach umbrellas, and the seagulls soaring through the sky. “Mingyu!” he exclaims in disbelief. “You didn’t drop any!”
You can’t catch a good glimpse of him without craning your neck, but his voice alone is enough to quicken your heartbeat. “Yeah, I know,” you hear him say, “I told you guys I’m not completely hopeless. Seven Drumsticks, all in perfect condition. Vernon, did you want the original flavour?”
It only takes a couple moments before he’s in your line of sight, standing in front of you with the sun’s blinding rays crowning his head like a halo. He grins, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose so you can see his eyes, and hands you a cone.
“Thanks,” you say.
His grin widens, just a little. “Don’t mention it. Hao, which one do you want?”
Once everyone’s finished their ice cream (and after a long debate that occurred due to Chan innocently asking for advice on what to do about his roommates back at his on-campus apartment), Seungkwan manages to find a beach volleyball court that’s unoccupied and persuades everyone to participate.
One set to ten points turns into the best out of three, and when your team begins to buckle under the pressure, Seungkwan suggests something with a sinister grin. “Losing team has to get buried under the sand and stay there for fifteen minutes.”
“Ten,” Seokmin negotiates.
“Twelve.”
“Five.”
Seungkwan squints. “You can’t go lower, that’s not how a negotiation works.”
“One person from the losing team gets buried under the sand for ten minutes and has to pay for dinner,” Chan says.
Seungkwan snaps his fingers before pointing to him. “Deal.”
It all ends, as expected, with Seungkwan’s team victorious. The three boys on the other side of the net exchange high-fives before returning to you and your sullen teammates with cocky grins. Minghao urges all of you to play a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide the true loser of today, and though you feigned indifference when you fumbled the last ball, the mask speedily cracks when the last two people left is you and Mingyu.
(“A duel between lovers,” Chan sighs dramatically. Minghao pinches his side).
Your eyes meet his, and something flickers in his expression. Gone too quick for you to decipher, but something in the back of your mind tells you that you should know exactly what he’s about to do.
Seokmin booms, “Rock, paper, scissors!”
You ball your hand into a fist and Mingyu curls his fingers into his palm except for two.
“Scissors beats rock,” Vernon slaps him on the back sympathetically before pointing at the ground. “Get comfortable, dude.”
With the amount of eagerness your friends exhibit, Mingyu is buried in minutes, stiff under the copious warm dust he’s under. Seokmin, with sand sticking to his hands, ruffles Mingyu’s hair and laughs when the latter crinkles his nose in disgust. Taking his sunglasses from his bag, you place them on the bridge of nose and brush off anything that got on his face.
“Thank you,” he says.
“Don’t mention it,” you echo. “I’m sure you’ll have fun here.”
He kisses his teeth in annoyance. “Oh, I bet. Once I get out of here, I’m gonna have tan lines on my collarbone.”
You smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can stay here with you.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
“You’re here for ten minutes by yourself and the reason we lost is because of me,” you say, wincing at the memory of Seokmin and Chan shouting for you to retrieve the ball despite it being too far away for you to save. “It’s the least I could do.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs. “Since I let you win rock, paper, scissors.”
You blink at him. “I’m sorry?”
“You always choose rock.”
“What? Then why’d you choose scissors?”
Mingyu attempts to shrug and scowls when he can’t.
You flick his forehead. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“I wanted to.”
“Of course,” you snicker. “And how are you finding it underneath all that sand?”
He doesn’t even bother to pretend to be nonchalant. “Oh, it’s the worst. It’s slightly better with you here, though.”
You turn to look at the sea. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” he pouts. “I thought we were going to tell each other stuff from now on. You know, communicate better.”
“Well, still.”
“I’m just saying what I’m thinking!”
“You’re ridiculous.”
He laughs, loud and boisterous and it heals something in your very being. There’s a mirth in his eyes you haven’t seen in a long time, and you yearn to hear it again. Mingyu has always been beautiful, but he’s even more so when he’s happy, a boy so golden he could rival the sun and the stars in its beauty.
And he would win, you think.
(What you don’t know is that Mingyu thinks the same of you. Many things have changed, but one thing that never will is how much you shine. The sky and all its confidants, try as they might, would never rid you of your luster. To him, they’ll never prevail).
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you question.
He smiles. “No reason.”
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Considering the fact that you spent a good part of your childhood running around the mall and giving into the urge of buying things you’ll never need, it’s a surprise that you forgot just how busy it gets during the summer.
(“Wow,” Mingyu had said. “You avoid me and this town for three years and suddenly you forget everything about it?”)
(He, along with everyone you’ve grown up with, will never let you live this down).
It’s a miracle the four of you even found somewhere to sit in the food court — a booth, no less. Part of you wonders if Seokmin sweet-talked a family into giving up this table for him, and you feel only a sliver of pity for whoever has to eat in an area that’s affected by the vibrant rays of the sun.
Once Minghao and Seokmin have returned from buying their food, they send you and Mingyu off to get your lunch with the promise that they’ll wait for you both before they start eating. Mingyu walks ahead, careful not to trip over anyone as he observes the signs of each food joint you pass, and glances over his shoulder to make sure you haven’t gotten lost in the crowd amid his indecision.
“What are you getting?” he asks once the two of you can hear each other above the many mallgoers.
“Don’t know. Pad Thai, maybe.”
“Nice. I was thinking getting a burger at Burger King, but…” he gestures towards the long line and winces. “I don’t have the patience for that.”
“So?”
“So, what?”
“What are you going to eat then?”
“Oh,” Mingyu frowns before shrugging nonchalantly. “Pad Thai it is, then. I think that has the shortest line.”
“Really? When we passed by KFC it didn’t look too bad—”
Mingyu turns, pointing to the Thai place across from you. “Pad Thai! Let’s go before the line gets any longer,” he proclaims, wrapping a hand around your elbow and gently tugging you towards the smell of stir-fry.
It’s easy to fall back into rhythm with Mingyu — so much so that it scares you, just a little. While you assumed it wouldn’t have been too weird once the barrier of the old relationship was removed, you hadn’t thought it would’ve been this comfortable. You assumed everything would be stilted for a short period before the puzzle pieces returned to their places, but this was unpredictable. This is familiar (everything with Mingyu always is); more familiar than riding a bike, or the scar on your knee, or your mom’s tendency to hover over you now that you’ve returned.
His skin against yours all while offering to lend you his jacket and pay for your food could be seen as simple acts of friendship — and if it were anybody else, you would agree, but your ties with each other, since the beginning of time, have regularly toed the line of romantic. It is a fact you cannot deny, and trying to do so would be like saying the sky is green or oxygen isn’t a requirement for survival.
The void in your chest used to be in the shape of him — freshly eighteen and brought down by his expectations along with everybody else’s — and you have tried other remedies to heal it: avoidance, sinking into other people’s sheets, tossing every physical memory you have of him in a box that you never ended up donating.
Who knew that the void would be filled by the same boy who caused it? Only this time, he’s standing in front of you, a little taller, sporting a different haircut, and learning how to live on his own terms.
“Fuck,” he says as he digs through his wallet. “I think I don’t have any cash to pay with. Man, I really didn’t want to use my credit card today.”
“It’s fine,” you say. “I’ll pay. You already gave me your jacket even though I said you didn’t have to.”
“You were cold,” he argues. “If you didn’t want me to give it to you, then maybe don’t get cold next time.”
You scoff. “Well, tell whoever’s managing the A/C to turn it down. It’s like stepping into a freezer in here.”
Mingyu mutters — something along the lines of so dramatic — before he shifts the position of his open wallet in his hands and continues digging for bills that aren’t there. What is there, however, is a photo all too familiar.
You place a hand on his wrist to stop him from moving. “Hey, is that a picture of me?”
Mingyu freezes. Then, he pulls away from your grip. “No.”
“Okay. Then who was it?”
You stare at each other for a beat too long, interrupted by someone asking if you can move up the line, and it’s only then that Mingyu turns away, bashful, and murmuring, “Okay, fine. It’s you.”
You try not to let the giddiness get to you. “And why, exactly, do you have a picture of me in there?”
“It’s not just you,” he lies. “Minghao and Seokmin are also in there.”
“No, I don’t think so,” you reply matter-of-factly. “I got a good glimpse, and I think it was just me.”
He tuts. “Believe what you want to believe.”
“I’m choosing to believe the truth.”
He sulks, taking another step towards the register. “You’re finding this too funny for my liking.”
“I’m not! I think it’s cute,” you object. “Why is it in there in the first place?”
“Maybe I just wanted to put it in there, it’s a good photo!”
“Of course.”
“You’re photogenic,” he adds. “Besides, what’s wrong with keeping a photo of my friend in my wallet?”
The question escapes you before you can think twice. “Is that what we are?”
Mingyu quietens, uncertain. Then, after rapidly fighting an internal battle, he says, “Before everything else, you’re my best friend.”
You nod because that’s the case for you, too. “But?”
His digs his teeth into his bottom lip before he opens his mouth, the answer on the tip of his tongue.
“I—”
“Next, please!”
Mingyu flinches, but it only takes a glance at the long line behind him before he’s grabbing his credit card. “C’mon,” he interlocks his pinky with yours. “Order what you want, it’s on me.”
“Mingyu—”
He gives you a smile. “It’s fine,” he assures quietly. “I want to.”
(In his wallet is a candid polaroid — a person on the beach, laughing at a joke made by someone who hasn’t been photographed. The picture has no crinkles, either because it’s deeply cherished or because it’s new — maybe both is the case.
It replaces an older photo, one that’s years old, taken while he was in high school of the same person. Still candid, still radiant, still laughing. He’s treasured it for years, but he decides it’s time to relocate it. Maybe when he gets back to his apartment, he’ll put it on his fridge. It was looking a little empty, anyway).
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Mingyu doesn’t particularly like it here. It brings up old feelings he’s working to retire as well as a medley of insecurities and unease.
But he would be lying if he said that the bad was the only thing this town has to offer.
The skatepark brings comfort, a corner of the world where freedom comes from touching the sky in the seconds his board lifts from the ground, a playground of cement and ramps and splintered benches found under trees that have been alive far longer than he has. It comes from his friends’ homes; Seungkwan’s spacious backyard and Seokmin’s living room where drink rings litter the coffee table as a consequence of never using the coasters.
It comes from the people. It comes from his family, who hugs him tight and listens to every concern he has under the sun. It comes from his friends, a group of rambunctious people who he has too many inside jokes with, and who drag him into shenanigans he has no option of backing out of.
It comes from you. Comfort always comes from you.
From where he stands in the corner, he watches you scour the karaoke song book, protesting all of Chan’s suggestions before entering a number onto the TV. Then you squint at the lyrics on the screen before you begin singing.
The others in the living room are in awe, captivated despite your inability to hold a note. Your gleeful smile makes up for what you lack in the singing department, and Mingyu supposes he’s no different than everybody else when you meet his eyes in the crowd and his palms begin to sweat. You hold his gaze for far too long, causing you to lose your spot in the song, and you sheepishly turn away before trying to make up for your mistakes.
He stays until the end, the loudest to clap despite your score being nothing exciting (it’s exciting to him, and that’s all that matters), and raises his hand in greeting with a silent promise to see you later when you’re pulled into a conversation with someone you used to play badminton with.
He ducks into the kitchen before he’s forced to engage in more small talk with another person. His footsteps quicken along with his growing desire to grab another beer, hidden behind the soda cans Seungkwan shoved inside for the party.
(Mingyu doesn’t entirely know what or who this party is for. He only recalls the texts between him and Minghao three days prior:
hao 👨‍🎨 > party at seungkwan’s on saturday
mingyu > not coming
hao 👨‍🎨 > 😐 ok ur loss > y/n is tho
mingyu > … i’ll bring my mom’s brownies).
Mingyu opens the can the moment it’s in his hands, relishing in the temporary sound of fizzing before taking a sip. The only straggler in the kitchen is him; everyone gathered in the living room the moment Seungkwan turned the karaoke machine on. He situates himself so he can see just through the threshold, keeping an eye out for the moment you’re free so he can pull you aside to talk.
About what, he doesn’t know. Winging it has always been his thing.
“Yo, Mingyu,” Seokmin greets as he makes his way to the fridge. “What are you doing in here?”
“Hiding.”
“It’s nice to know some things haven’t changed,” Seokmin quips, digging through the variety of drinks, “you’re still a loser.”
“You love me.”
“Oh, of course, that was never in question. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a loser.”
Mingyu rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What are you looking for?”
“Sprite for me, beer for Vernon.” He stands to his full height and cranes his neck to look at Mingyu around the fridge door. “Was that the last of it?”
“I think so, yeah.”
Seokmin doesn’t look that defeated when he grabs two cans of Sprite. “Maybe that’s for the best. He’s drunk enough as it is.” Off Mingyu’s confusion, Seokmin adds, “I know, he never gets wasted, but he’s on the waitlist for a screenwriting class, so he’s upset beyond repair.”
“And he’s always saying everyone else is more dramatic than he is.”
“Right? He’s only second on the waitlist, too.”
Mingyu laughs but his eyes involuntarily flicker back to the door to see if you’re still talking to other people. He frowns when he notices you’ve disappeared from where he spotted you last, and he debates taking out his phone and texting you to ask where you are.
Seokmin kisses his teeth. “Are you sure you want to stay in here by yourself? Y/N probably wants to talk to you.”
“They’re talking to other people. I’m fine waiting it out.”
Seokmin looks like he’s going to oppose Mingyu’s decisions, but he opts for shrugging instead. “Alright, if you say so. Don’t wait too long, though.”
“I won’t,” Mingyu promises. Seokmin begins his trek back to the living room, one soda dangling from each hand, when Mingyu suddenly calls out, “Hey, wait.”
Seokmin falters awkwardly in his step before turning around with furrowed eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“I, uh,” Mingyu rubs his neck, wincing. “I don’t think I ever apologized.”
The confusion on Seokmin’s face is wiped away to be replaced with triumph. He points an accusatory finger at his friend while his voice echoes in the four walls of the Boo kitchen. “I knew it! You did steal my beanie, you liar, the next time I visit you, I’m taking it back, and it better be in good condition! I can’t believe you took it with you across the country, that’s so fucked up—”
“Huh? No, what?” Mingyu says in disbelief. “For the last time, I didn’t steal your beanie—”
“Okay, sure, then who was it, then?”
“I don’t know!”
“Then what are you apologizing for?”
“For not listening to you!” Mingyu exclaims. “Back then, you told me to tell Y/N the truth and I didn’t listen when I should have. If I did, you and Hao wouldn’t have been put in the middle of everything.”
“Oh,” Seokmin makes a face and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But—”
“You made a mistake. A stupid one, yeah, and I’m probably never going to let you live it down, but,” he smiles gently, “we’re okay now. Just focus on what you’ll do about… you know.”
“…What?”
“You know,” Seokmin parrots. “Y/N. I mean, you still love them, don’t you?”
Without hesitation, Mingyu responds, “Well, no fucking shit.”
Seokmin makes a noise of satisfaction before turning on his heel. Over his shoulder, he singsongs, “Don’t fuck anything up!”
Mingyu scoffs. “I won’t!”
With each passing minute, the night gets livelier, and Mingyu ends up re-entering the living room and talking to other people despite his internal insistence not to. It keeps him busy, momentarily distracting him from the way his heartrate spikes at the thought of speaking to you tonight.
In the middle of his conversation with a former basketball teammate, a microphone ends up in his hands, and before he can blink, he’s pushed in front of the TV. It takes him a moment too long before he realizes that he’s been forced to sing a duet with you.
(Behind the couch, Minghao snorts at Seokmin’s devilish grin.
“I thought I told you to stay out of it.”
“I am!” Seokmin says, “I’m only giving them a slight push in the right direction!”)
The timer begins counting down.
Five.
“Just so you know,” you begin, “Seungkwan and Chan are going after us. We have to score as high as possible.”
Four.
“I don’t think we can manage that, to be honest.”
Three.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re great at singing, so you can make up for how bad I am.”
Two.
“I don’t—”
One.
“Believe in yourself, Mingyu.”
You bring the microphone up to your lips and begin to sing, and he can only follow your movements.
It takes an unfathomable amount of willpower to stop himself from staring at you for the song’s entirety. He clenches his fist as he recites the lyrics, but when it gets to the bridge and it’s your turn to take the reins, Mingyu lets his guard down, his hand falling limply to his side as you laugh through your part.
He has never been an expert in love — few of the decisions he’s made in the name of it have seldom ended well — and when he was younger, the only thing he ever knew regarding it was you. Before, he thought that wouldn’t have been enough, that in order to be the person you deserved, he had to know more.
However, he’s older now, and things change with time.
You glance at him and the butterfly in his stomach rapidly flaps its wings.
(Other things don’t).
He doesn’t even know the song’s ended until arms wrap around his neck. He stumbles backwards before he forces himself to find his footing so he can properly return your excited hug. Mingyu pays no mind to the score flashing onscreen, nor the claps coming from everyone else; all he can smell is your shampoo, he feels your breath on his skin, and that is much more important than a karaoke score ever will be.
Seungkwan says, “That’s not even a good score.”
You loosen your grip around Mingyu so you can look at Seungkwan, and he immediately yearns for more. “Be quiet, this is the best I’ve gotten all night,” you retort. You turn to face Mingyu again, shaking him by the shoulders. “We did good! I told you to believe in yourself!”
Before he can reply, you’re pulled apart by Chan, who’s itching to take his turn. He rips the mics from his and your hands, and you slip from Mingyu’s fingers once again when Vernon asks you if you can help him look for another can of beer.
He exhales in defeat, accepts Chan shooing him away with grace, and slips outside.
He leans over the porch railing, staring at the watercolour sky, a mixture of pink and orange and yellow.
Mingyu hangs his head, wondering just how many more times you’ll get whisked away before he even has a chance to utter a word. He prefers smaller gatherings, because at least then he’d be able to talk to you with ease.
He’s not quite sure how many more times he’ll be able to stand by and watch you go before he loses his mind.
Behind him, the door slides open, and he assumes it’s Seokmin telling him to get a move on. But the footsteps sound different than his friend’s, and he immediately perks up when a familiar scent reaches his nose.
“Hey.”
Your frame enters his periphery, your university jacket hanging on your shoulders with the sleeves covering your hands.
Mingyu straightens. “Hi.”
You settle beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and Mingyu immediately relaxes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he says, “what makes you think I’m not?”
“You’ve been hiding from everyone since the night began,” you answer. “You don’t wanna be here, huh?”
“Of course I want to be here.” You raise an eyebrow at his lie. “Okay, fine, I don’t really want to be here.”
“Then why’d you come?”
“…I thought it would’ve been fun.”
“Really?” you snort. “Do you even know what this party is for?”
“Well… no.”
He expects you to roll your eyes, but instead you sigh in relief. “Okay, that makes me feel better, because I don’t either.”
“Well, I only came because Minghao told me you’d be coming,” he confesses.
You tilt your head in confusion. “I only came because Seokmin told me you’d be coming.”
He furrows his eyebrows and spares a glance through the glass doors at his friends. “…Huh.”
You huff, following his gaze. “I swear they always have their nose in our business.”
Mingyu looks back at you. “You have to admit, though, they’re pretty good at luring us into parties we don’t want to attend,” he smirks good-naturedly. “Who knew you still had a soft spot for me?”
Turning away from him, flustered, you grumble, “Shut up, don’t act like you didn’t come here because you wanted to see me.”
“I’m not!” he proclaims. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I make it pretty obvious that I like seeing you.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
“Only for you.”
You lightly punch his arm when the laughs that escape his lips grow louder. “I thought I told you that you can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” he hums. “I mean what I say, Y/N.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, it’s just…” you place your arms on the railing, leaning forward to avoid eye contact, “It’s confusing, that’s all.”
Mingyu faces you while you face away, watches how you stare at the setting sun instead of him, and his heart clenches. When you went your separate ways, he craved to be near you again, but even next to him, you still feel so far away.
(In hindsight, maybe he should’ve planned out how to go about this beforehand).
“You used to say stuff like that all the time,” you explain. “You know, before, uh—”
“Yeah,” he murmurs.
A million scenarios flash through his mind; different results depending on what he says next. He’s typically so good at saying the right thing — his words got him out of trouble and charmed his neighbours — but he’s found that his voice fails him whenever he needs it the most. When he tried to muster the courage to tell you about everything, he was never able to, and he gave into the false reassurances his mind offered that all would be alright in the end.
But none of that matters, you had said. We’re here now.
“You know what I never understood?” you ask.
“What?”
“You don’t like it here. Not a lot, anyway,” you start, “so why did you keep coming back?”
“Well, my family’s here, you know. So are our friends,” he gulps. “And I thought you would be, too.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He nudges your elbow. “Can I ask you something?”
You chance a glance at him. “Sure, yeah.”
“What you said the other day,” he murmurs, unblinking, “about how I would’ve been it for you, has that changed?”
“Why are you asking?”
He bites the inside of his cheek as his cheeks begin to redden. “Do you really need me to say it?”
You frown. “Say what—?”
“I love you,” he blurts out. “And I know that might be kind of weird, since a lot’s changed since we last saw each other, but that’s the one thing I haven’t been able to shake. Not that— not that I ever wanted to— I just… I think it’s a part of me. Like I was born with it.”
You look at him, eyes glassy, unable to speak.
“But y’know what’s weirder?” he adds. “I’m pretty sure I’ll never get sick of it.”
It’s his turn to face away, turning towards the sun as you stare at the side of his face. The silence drenches the backyard like sudden, thunderous rainfall. For him, it’s unwelcome, and his eardrums echo with his confession.
He tries his best to hide his lovesickness, but the intensity of his longing prevents him from doing so. For the entire summer — perhaps for years, really — he’s been pushing it all down. He’s tired of it all. Of hiding, of pretending, of brushing off his esurient desire for you.
“It’s not weird,” you say, finally, saving him from his misery.
“Sorry?”
“You said it’s weird that you still love me,” you muse. “But I don’t think it is. It wouldn’t be fair of me to.”
His lips part. “What do you—?”
“Of course you’re it for me, Mingyu,” you tell him frustratedly. “You have been since the beginning of time. I don’t want you to go a day without believing it. I know what it’s like to live with you and to live without you, and I really prefer the first option.”
Mingyu’s pretty sure his brain short-circuits.
With quick movements, he inches closer to you, eyes flickering down to your lips before he asks, “Really?”
“What do you mean, really? Why would I—?”
“Can I kiss you?” he interrupts, slowly moving his hands closer to your face. “Please?”
He’s sure the longing in your eyes is wild enough to rival his.
(What an odd turn of events, is it not? Despite being on opposite sides of the country, you used to believe there weren’t enough miles between you and Mingyu for you to heal properly. But now, with his lips hovering over yours, you’re beginning to think that he is not close enough).
You take his face into your hands, and you kiss him.
Mingyu stumbles, surprised by your fervor, but matches it with ease. His hands move from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he moves to have his back against the railing. Your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he surprises himself with a moan at just how much he’s missed it — your hands pulling at his locks, his lips against yours.
He used to pray for this.
When you pull away to catch your breath, he chases you, too dazed to acknowledge your amused mien. You go to peck his lips to soothe him, but he makes sure to hold you against him, his hunger far from satiated.
He stops himself for a moment, breath hot on your skin. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
You smile against his mouth. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”
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“I feel like you’ve been faking it.”
“I have not.”
“You definitely have. Skateboarding isn’t that hard.”
Mingyu throws his arm around you in defence. “Hey, give them a break, Minghao.”
“Yeah!” Seokmin pipes up, “Y/N was just terrible at it because they can’t balance at all.”
“You know,” you grunt, crossing your arms, “I thought you guys would be proud of me for finally managing to skate across the park without actually falling.”
“I’m proud of you,” Mingyu says, pecking the side of your head. “And I think that’s all that matters.”
“Thank you, I can always count on you having my back,” you say, leaning further into him and pointedly glaring at the other two boys in front of you.
Seokmin waves you off. “Hey, I think this might be the first time ever you didn’t get injured at the skatepark.”
You go to protest before frowning. “…I think you’re right, actually. That’s so weird.”
Minghao snorts. “Maybe we should teach you some tricks then.”
You glance at Mingyu, and he seems to really be considering it. “Oh, absolutely not. Are you trying to kill me?”
“I’ll teach you the easy ones!” Mingyu begins, standing in front of you so he’s all you see. He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes them in reassurance. “You’re already a pro at just skating around, so this should be a piece of cake!”
“Mingyu,” you whine.
“Please,” he matches your tone. “I like teaching you stuff! It’ll be fun!” he lets go of your shoulders and rolls the board so it’s by your feet and offers you his hand as if you’ll need help getting on. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
Your wariness is squashed the moment he flashes you a soothing smile.
You sigh. “You promise?”
He crosses his heart. “With everything that I have.”
Without a second thought, you place your hand in his.
He squeezes it immediately in a silent vow:
I’ll be here to catch you if you fall.
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© dkfile, 2023. do not translate or copy my works.
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itskattkm · 5 months
Text
The air in my lungs
Chapter 1
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Cairo Sweet x Fem Reader
Summary: A stroke of fate changes you and leads you into the arms of Cairo Sweet. Will she be your downfall or save you?
Warnings: 18+, Grief, Injuries, Smoking, Trauma, anxiety, sexual content, student x teacher mentioned, harm, blackmailing, bad grammar
A/N: Based and inspired by Millers Girl. Mr. Miller himself isn’t really present but will be mentioned. Hope you guys enjoy. Also I’m not sure if I should make it a fem g!p reader. Let me now if so :)
Master list | Next chapter
It was almost the end of the current school year. Soon would be a long and warm summer in Texas maybe the last summer for Cairo here, before she would leave it for Stanford in California. As always she was one of the students that were pretty early, since this was a private school, she had pretty many ways to get in here and just do her thing. That’s why Cairo was working on a new idea for her book, holding a cigarette in her other hand. Not caring at all that she was smoking in the empty classroom. Well almost empty classroom. She had noticed you were sitting near her and gave you a frown. Why did you even sit so near. Like the class wasn’t already empty enough, couldn’t you sit somewhere else? Cairo was a bit pissed, she didn’t liked it when other students could see her work or maybe even interrupt her while working.
“I’m writing. I’d appreciate if you respected that” Cairo mutters, without even looking your way. She takes another drag of her cigarette afterwards. Her gaze fixed on the screen of her laptop.
You turned around “So what? I’m not allowed to sit near you?” You asked with a cold tone but a dirty smile on your lips making Cairo look up and straight into your eyes, with pretty zeros emotions.
“No.” Cairo replied, trying to go back to her writing without laughing. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, since Cairo was now laughing at your reaction. She put down her pencil, which had the cigarette dangling in her mouth still. Cairo turned and smirked at you. “You do realize you’re just asking to get teased, don’t you?”
You fully turned around now and walked towards her. In the way you walked Cairo could tell you were somehow… pissed? Angry? There was something frightening and exciting in the way you walked over her and suddenly stole her cigarette from her mouth, while taking a deep hint on it. Cairo was totally overwhelmed and watched you with fixated eyes. The cigarette left your lips and in the next moment you destroyed the cigarette by pressing it down on her desk.
The next move really caught her off guard. She felt like a frozen statue. Her brain wasn’t able to see that coming but still… it happened and she couldn’t do anything. You reached for her jaw with your hand and held it tight while pulling in and kissing her hard before releasing the smoke of the cigarette in her mouth.
Slowly your grip loosened and you took a step back while looking at her with the coldest eyes she’s ever seen. “Next time don’t smoke around me. I prefer fresh air” that’s what you said with your quiet but low voice before turning around and leaving the class room, making a departure like the newest villain in town.
Cairo was stunned. “D-Did that just happen?” She muttered, still reeling from the shock and adrenaline. She put her hand on her lips and bit them, trying to resist smiling. She turned to her desk once more, pretending to work, but couldn’t help glancing at the door every so often. She wanted to see if you would comeback, but she didn’t want her to get her hopes up. She took the pack of cigarettes from her purse and took another one. “Hmm.. fresh air?” She mumbled to her self.
The next morning was quite the opposite. Cairo was the first of all students like always. Sitting in class and working on her drafts till the teacher would arrive and do their thing. You weren’t there and Cairo could help but wondered why. Wondered why she never noticed you before. It was like you were some sort of a ghost. She knew her classmates. She knew you but still… she never really saw you. Then Y/N entered the classroom as the last one while everyone was already there. She sat down on her table in the last row and began to unpack her laptop, also waiting for the teacher to arrive now.
When Y/N raiser her gaze to look to the front of the class she saw Cairo sitting in the middle of the first row like always. She was holding a book in her hands that looked a bit older and seemed like she was Reading.
Like if Cairo had felt some sort of bigger power or more of a shiver down her shoulders she turned her head and glanced over to you, only to look away immediately, slightly blushing. She didn’t like the fact that you were making her blush already… but something deep down inside of her couldn’t help it. She still could feel your lips on hers. How surprisingly soft they felt and the way you stole her air while letting the smoke of the cigarette in her mouth. Like you were sucking out her soul or something. She could feel your eyes on her, and she didn’t wanted to think any longer about yesterday. So Cairo focused on the book she had been reading and turned to a chapter, ignoring your glances at her.
You couldn’t help but liked the fact that Cairo was turning around just to check if you were there. I small smile creeped up on your lips and you found yourself blushing. Feeling somehow proud and confident. But still, it was something you didn’t wanted others to see so you tried to get that fucking smile out of your face.
There was that invisible power, the urge to look back at you it was like fighting against the need, no the urge to look back at you and get lost in the moment. So Cairo looked over her shoulder with a blush on her face. She put the book down and cleared her throat. “Whatcha looking at?” She tried to say monotone to not show how excited she was. After that she put on her headphones and resumed reading as if nothing had ever happened. You continued to stare, so she shifted in her seat, getting irritated at the lack of privacy during a quiet time. Why couldn’t you just leave her alone?
You didn’t respond to her question. Instead you stayed quiet and kept watching at the back of her long and dark hair. It was quite interesting for you how her hair looked almost black but on days where the sunshine fell on them you could see they were quite the opposite. A hidden chocolate brown making your mouth somehow watering at the thought of chocolate itself, how stupid you thought.
When finally the teacher attended the class Cairo tried to focus once more on something else than you, but kept glancing at you every so often, only to catch you staring at her. Even if you didn’t say anything, it definitely made Cairo feel uneasy.
“Don’t break your neck while keep turning around to look at me” I texted her and the message popped up on her laptop, you could see from your view.
Cairo’s eyes widened at the message. It was from you. She read it again, making sure it wasn’t a mistake. She turned around towards you and typed, “Well, you keep looking at me, so…”
“Because the teacher is in front of you. If I were you I wouldn’t have choose the seat in the first row and in the middle of the class” the text popped up on Cairos screen.
“And so? I can sit wherever I want.” Cairo rolled her eyes but couldn’t contain her racing heart when she send the message.
“Then stop wondering or thinking that I look at you. I’m trying to pay attention to our teacher” you texted back fast. Cairo wanted to believe her, but wasn’t sure if her words were true. Cairo looked at you again, who was focused on the teacher now “You really don’t look at me? Not even by accident?” She texted back curious.
Another message popped up from you saying “Your in the middle of my sight it’s hard to ignore”. Cairo looked to the side and muttered, “Oh..” She looked at you for a couple of more seconds, only to give up and focus on the class again. The class was a bit boring since the teacher went on for quite a while about a topic that seemed uninteresting to Cairo. She continued looking at you, and finally decided to text her again. “So.. Can I ask you something?”
As soon as Cairo send the message she heard her own heart pounding so hard that it made her feel like dying, dying to know what you would say and how you would react.
“Wow is our A+ student getting bored of class? oh my god it’s a miracle!” You answered and hoped she would get the sarcastic hint. Cairo turned to you, rolling her eyes. She wrote, “Shut up, please. And yeah, I’m bored.” She added an eye roll emoji.
You held back a chuckle and tried to focus on the class again. Cairo turned back to the class, then a few words of the teacher’s caught her attention. It was the first time during the class Cairo was actually listening again. The topic of discussion was writing, and she was listening to the lesson. Writing about the perspective of someone who was fighting with being good or bad. There was a moment of silence after the teacher had finished the lesson, which caused Cairo to look at you with a mischievous smile. It lasted only a second, though. She looked down at her notebook, which had a couple of doodles on the margins.
“So? What was your question?” Popped the curious question by you at Cairos laptop up. She wanted to ask you something before you just ignored it and started discussing about who was starring at who and where.
Cairo wrote, “Do you actually like me or are you just flirting with me to be funny?” She pressed the send button without looking at you.
You held back a grin and answered “you think I like you?”.
Cairo’s jaw dropped slightly. She read the message and looked at you directly, now confused. She turned back around and huffed, “So you don’t?”.
“Depends” you send and hoped to tease her. Cairo looked at you as if expecting her to elaborate on that. When you didn’t, she texted again, “Depends on what?”. You couldn’t help but chuckled quite by yourself feeling how you were getting on the nerves of Cairo.
“It’s so funny when you turn around. Your reactions are really amusing me” you texted her and smiled wide in a cute but cheeky way to annoy her even more while waiting for her to turn around again. Cairo rolled her eyes but couldn’t help looking at you. She could’ve sworn she saw your dirty smirk, but she might’ve seen wrong. Cairo rolled her eyes again and looked back at the notebook she was now doodling in. The bell finally rang out, signaling that the class was over. Cairo put away her notebook and turned in her seat again, finding you already staring at her. “Do you… need something?” She asked slightly annoyed since you didn’t moved and kept staring at her.
“Oh yeah” you said calm and your eyes softened while looking at her expensive green leather backpack
“Do you have a cigarette for me?”.
A smirk appeared on Cairo’s face. She looked away, but her smile never went away. “Do you think I like sharing my cigarettes with every person I’m flirting with? I could be flirting with every person on this campus if that was the case.” She had a smug look on her face as she said that, knowing that your response would be interesting. Her smirk stayed on while she waited for you to react. Dreamy. That was the first word that came into Cairos mind when she saw you smiled and looking at her with tilted head “So your flirting with me?” You asked, your voice giving Cairo and weird feeling down her spine… a good feeling.
“Mhm..” Cairo said, still looking away, but smirking at you. She took a cigarette from her pocket, pretending to put it in her mouth. She glanced over at you. “You might wanna get closer for it..” she said in a teasing tone of voice. “I will… trust me” you whispered with a low voice and got up from your desk, walking closer towards her. Cairo turned, and smirked at your approach. “I wouldn’t trust anyone that easily, love.” She said, a smirk still on her face. She took the cigarette out of her mouth, and put it in Y/N for her to take if you desired.
“That’s good” you said in such a calm way it made Cairo feel goosebumps. The way you took it slowly between your fingers made it look like she was watching some sexual commercial or a thirst trap but then you destroyed it right beside her on the desk while smiling cheeky. “What did that cigarette ever do to you, huh?” Cairo asked in a joking tone. She smirked, but was now slightly startled. She looked over to you with a raised brow.
“Stop smoking my dear. It’s not good for you “ you whispered and left the classroom. Cairo watched you leave, a smirk still on her face. “I think I’m getting somewhere…” she muttered, and followed you.
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kentophilia · 1 month
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HIIII SALEM i hope ill be ur first req :3 can i have making out w TA geto in like your dorm room or smtg - i love that secretive/will they get caught dynamic <3 u can make it a little steamy but all in all i just want geto to relax after stressing over his masters 😇
s w e e t r e w a r d
contains: teaching assistant!geto, established relationship, afab!reader, making out, some suggestiveness (dry humping), shoko cameo, pet names (my love, angel, baby)
word count: 1.1k
a/n: WAAAAH i finally got to writing this!!! i hope you're doing well seline, i miss you :( reminder that my requests are still open, please read my rules!!
reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!!
minors and ageless / empty blogs will be blocked immediately!
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sugu bear <3: can i come over?
sugu bear <3: need ur mental support for submitting my thesis pls
you smiled at your phone, responding with ‘ofc baby get ur ass over here rn’ in light speed.
ever since he started his position as a teaching assistant, he has been even more stressed as usual. there was no doubt that he was enjoying it, sometimes even taking over the class for the day and doing the meticulous work of grading essays and tests. however, it would take up a lot of his free time and subsequently, your time together as well.
sure, you'd see him on campus and in your shared classes, sneaking in as much physical contact as possible. but you missed spending actual time with him. watching movies, cooking together, going on dates, you name it. you got used to it, but sometimes you would feel a bit lonely. so you were elated to hear him coming over.
even better, your roommate shoko was out on a date with her girlfriend so you’d have the dorm to yourself. getting all giddy, you decided to tidy up a little for your boyfriend.
just a short time later, there was a knock on your dorm door and you rushed to see your sweet suguru standing there. he had a nervous smile on his face, his laptop in one hand and a small bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other.
“this is all i could get, hope you like it,” he murmured. you flung yourself onto him, inhaling his familiar scent. oh, how you missed him.
you squealed, “are you kidding, sugu? these are beautiful, you didn't have to get me anything!”
his smile grew wider, walking you backwards into your living space and closing the door behind him with his foot. you parted from him, placing a kiss onto his plump lips. he leaned into it, closing his eyes with a soft hum. soon enough, you broke the kiss and took the flowers to put them in a vase.
while you were rummaging through your kitchen, suguru made himself comfortable on your couch. he opened the laptop and got to work, finishing up his thesis. he had stressed about it for so long, he was scared about making typos so he read over it until his eyes burned. you soon joined him, curling into his side as you watched your boyfriend add the last finished touches to the document.
after a few minutes of comfortable silence, suguru let out a heavy sigh.
“want me to submit it for you?” you offered when you saw his shaky hand hovering over the touchpad, the mouse set on the big red submit button.
he quietly spoke: “you know what? yeah, i’d like that. no way to back out now.”
you took the laptop from him, setting it on your lap and clicking the button. as the confirmation screen lit up, you closed the window and laptop to put it on your coffee table. turning towards him, you noticed how pale he had gotten over the course of the last few minutes.
“are you okay?” you giggled, tucking one of the stray hairs behind his ear.
he sighed, “yeah, it's finally done.”
he pulled you on top of him, making you squeal. you settled on his lap, looping your arms around his broad shoulders and playing with the hairs on his nape. suguru placed his large hands on your waist, their weight and warmth comforting against your skin. you squirmed a little to get more comfortable as he leaned back with a sigh. with his eyes closed, his long lashes cast tiny shadows on his cheeks.
opening his eyes after a few breaths, suguru looked up at you with adoration in his eyes. a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, mirroring yours.
“i'm proud of you, sugu. you've worked so hard. i was worried you’d get grey hair by the time i’d see you next.”
his heart thumped in his ribcage, threatening to burst out.
“don't i deserve a reward then, my love?” he mused. you chuckled, knowing what he was insinuating.
you leaned forward to gently cover his face in kisses. starting at his forehead, going down his warm cheeks and sharp nose and lastly, his lips. they were roughed up from all the biting but still plump against yours. after a few light pecks, suguru gave you a small appreciative hum, his hands sliding around to your back to pull you closer to him. the warmth of his body made you melt into his touch, your chest pressed against his as close didn't seem close enough. your eyes fluttered close, a small whine getting stuck in your throat as suguru’s lips locked onto yours.
his tongue swiped over your bottom lip and you obediently opened your mouth, gently pulling at his now disheveled hair. he moaned quietly, his scalp tingling from your ministrations. your tongues swirled around each other in a tentative dance, the air getting hotter by the minute. spit was exchanged, deep inhales through the nose as you got drunk on each other. one of his hands settled on the side of your neck, tilting your head to deepen the kiss further.
shivers ran down your spine at his gentle touch, the pit in your tummy getting hotter and hotter. your hips started gyrating on top of his needily, feeling how hard he was getting just from your lips on his own. a low rumble erupted from his chest at that, his hands sliding down to grip your hips tightly. guiding you gently, he bucked his hips up to your heated core, making you part from him with a whimper.
a small string of spit connected your mouths, heavy lidded eyes watching as you gripped his shoulders for leverage as your hips grew a mind of their own.
“missed you s’much,” you whined, placing your forehead against his. you were watching how he parted his lips to pant as your clothed core rubbed against his boner so deliciously.
he let out a small moan, “missed you too, angel. i’m sorry for neglecting my poor baby.”
his mouth stretched into a grin as he watched you use him to get yourself off, desperate to feel his skin on yours. suguru slid his hands under your shirt, drawing figure eights against your blazing skin.
you could feel yourself getting wetter and coming closer to your peak when at the cusp of it, a harsh knock resonated through the living room. following that, shoko’s voice came muffled through the door.
“can we come in or are y'all still humping each other?”
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tags: @sttoru @kizoken @prncessrindou and thank you to @screampied and @redskyvenus for proofreading!!! :3
© kentophilia 2024 — all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate or steal any of my works.
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bakubunny · 5 months
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a/n: i’ve written daddy!shota plenty of times, but i’ve never written about how it might have happened. so here’s a hc dump? there’s a lil smutty drabble at the end.
if this isn’t your kind of thing, pls just scroll and ignore.
tw: f!reader, daddy kink (obv), ddlg, mentioned age play, d/s dynamics, pet names: baby, babygirl, sweetheart, good girl
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totally blindsided the first time someone whined out a shaky “daddy” underneath him in his early twenties. almost busted instantly. he knew daddy kinks were a thing, but that was something people joked about, wasn’t it?… at least that’s what he knew. he also knew he needed to hear it again, but shoved the thought away as the life of an underground hero took hold.
kayama was the one who called him out on it jokingly when she snickered and threw out an offhand, “okay, daddy,” in response to his being demanding and she earned a nasty glare. she proceeded to do that for the next week, and every time, shota had half a mind to shove her face into any surface he could find and fuck the attitude out of her. but he never did.
got absolutely shitfaced with some friends and drunkenly confided in kamaya as uncomfortable as it was. he wanted answers, wanted to know that he wasn’t some disgusting perv, and if anyone could understand, it would be her. while much more crass than he liked on the matter, she still had compassion.
thanks to kayama, shota soon finds places on the internet where real people are involved in “ddlg,” and a comfort settles in his chest knowing that what’s in his head actually exists.
there’s something that makes his body run hot seeing real people in innocent, frilly clothes, printed, childish panties, maybe an oversized pacifier between their lips, snuggling with the cutest plushies he’s ever seen…. he’s not sure what to make of that, and it takes time for him to figure it out.
by the time you meet shota a few years later, he’s figured out most of his likes and dislikes, he thinks. he’s considered or been in a d/s dynamic once or twice, but most of his “daddy kink” experience falls into “something i like to hear in the bedroom.”
he’s pretty perceptive and picked up that you might be that kind of person long before it came up. it’s in the small things - the way you get flustered with certain nicknames or a particular tone of voice, how much you enjoy it when he’s forceful or takes control, the way he can almost watch your brain short circuit with certain phrases, with how he insists on taking care of you, etc.
he’s probably not gonna tell you until you bring it up or it happens naturally; yeah, he wants it, but until you push him, he’s not the type to demand what he wants out of sex (or in general) in a romantic relationship because that takes work… and because most sex doesn’t involve romantic relationships for him.
when it does come out, there’s plenty of discussion. he’s open with you for the most part because he doesn’t see a reason not to be. no matter how hesitant you might be, he’s unfazed by anything you bring up; he’s been around the internet enough that he’s at least seen the whole spectrum - everything from “daddy is a nickname” to 24/7 dynamics heavy on age play.
the first time you let it slip and call him daddy is probably in bed. he’s just fucking you that good. your head is spinning and fuzzy at the same time. your voice is muffled by pillows or maybe you’re tucked into the crook of his neck, biting into his sweatshirt. it’s soft, hardly intelligible; in fact, you were desperately hoping he hadn’t heard you at all.
but shota’s hearing is sharp, and he knows that what just left your mouth sure as shit was not “baby.”
so he leans in, his lips grazing your ear. “what’s that, sweetheart?”
“huh? n-nothin, jus’ feels go-” you’re cut off as your jaw drops and you moan.
shota angles his hips slightly, pounding harder into the spot that had you trembling and seeing white moments ago.
“c’mon babygirl, what did you call me?”
you whine. heat rushes to your cheeks. “no, sho st-stop, please,” you plead softly.
“if you wanna fucking cum, you’re gonna repeat what you said,” he growls. “you hear me?”
another hesitant whimper as you clench around his thick cock. shota grunts from the sensation and concedes, opting for a bit of encouragement.
his tone is soft and low. “i need it. let daddy hear you, baby.”
a shudder runs over your skin, your voice more akin to a broken sob. “fuck daddy, fuc-nngh, please don’t stop.”
shota’s heavy groan hits your skin as he pants, and you keen in response.
“that’s it. that’s my good girl, shit.” he presses soft, warm kisses into your skin. “say it again.”
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if you’d like to join my tag list, let me know. ♡
gremlins: @arlerts-angel @dcsiremc @darkstarlight82 @bookcluberror @neon-gothicc @zazter-den @breadandbutter33 @i-literally-cant-with-this @rinalouu @stvrfir3 @r4td0lll @emmab3mma @aria-chikage @mhadabiandhawks4eva @yazminetrahan @doumadono @dreamcastgirl99 @maddietries @jazzafayesworld @karebear5118 @unofficialmuilover @cherriluvs35 @erensslut @ruu-https @hana-yuri @keiva1000 @katsul0vr @trickster-kat @ayeohoh-blog @dinomeow @flamgosstuff @mistressreaper @angelltheninth @anonymously-ominous @amberexe2 @hisconsistency @nanamisbigassschlong @223princess @honeeslust @naughtygobbo @acenanxious @blumoonwisteria @chaos-gem @levizonlywife @nuttyunknowndetective
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neptuneiris · 2 months
Text
could you pretend to be in love? (06/10)
The Connection
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: an unexpected person from the past shows up and there is a family dinner to attend, resulting in disastrous thoughts and difficult decisions.
word count: 8.9k
previous part • next chapter • series masterlist
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the chapter is finally here!
sorry it took me so long, if you didn't see my last post go do it and you'll know why👀 but we can put it behind us now and I'm excited to tell you that the next chapter will finally give us that next level we've been waiting for so long!
I really hope it won't take me that long but for now, let's enjoy this new chapter and as always, I'll be very anxious to read your comments🥰
enjoy!
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The day of the dinner is slowly approaching.
And you still don't feel completely sure about it. However, despite your doubts and worries, you haven't backed out.
Mostly you think about what you're going to tell Aemond's mother by way of ruining things out of nervousness. Of course he should have already given her information about the relationship, but you're worried that she'll ask you questions and you won't know how to answer.
But that's not the reason she wants to get to know you… is it?
You think she probably just wants to know more about you, your likings, your non likings, your aspirations in life, your dreams, your family and things related to that.
Right?
You just hope so.
You've never done this before, meeting a guy's parents, ever. And you just get more nervous and feel more pressure knowing that Aegon and Helaena will be there too.
As well as you also feel guilty about the fact that they all think that you and Aemond are for real and you're just going to go there and convince them and assure them that you and Aemond are crazy about each other… when it's not true.
Now it's Thursday, tomorrow is dinner and Aemond doesn't seem at all concerned about it, when your thoughts are being completely tormented with it.
Still, you listen attentively to his words as you put away some books in your locker and he's standing next to you, leaning against the lockers, with the Romeo and Juliet book in his hands.
"Why did you make me read this shit? It's too hard to read and I don't like it," he says longingly.
You look away from your books to him and place a small amused smile on your lips at the sight of his face.
"It's like poetry and I don't like poetry, I don't understand it," he says frustrated, "I don't understand any of the weird rhyming they say."
"Well, Shakespeare has a unique way of expressing himself."
"Yeah, but what does he mean by 'My lips, two humble blazons, are ready to seal with a kiss softly'?" he recites reading the phrase with his brows furrowed and you let out a small laugh.
"Shakespeare loved beauty in words, even if it meant complicating things a bit."
"Yeah but why can't he just kiss her and be done with it without saying these weird words that give me cringe?"
"Come on," you give him an incredulous look, "It's romantic. The whole book is romantic with a tragic ending."
"This is definitely not romantic," he says incredulously and shaking his head, "It's weird, boring and makes me want to puke."
You look at him with a pout.
"You're not romantic at all."
"Excuse me?"
He immediately comes to defend himself, staring at you incredulously and completely indignant.
"I can be extremely romantic, thank you very much."
You raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, with a small smile as you see the spark of amusement in his gaze.
"You of all people should know that, you've witnessed it and you're the reason I do it mostly," he adds.
"But that's not… you know," you give him an expectant, knowing look.
"It's still romantic."
"No, it's not," you say with a laugh.
At your playful response, still busy at your locker, you don't notice and Aemond suddenly approaches. He takes your chin with one of his hands gently but firmly enough, causing you to look up at him, catching you off guard.
"What did you just say, my love?" he asks with a mischievous smile and amusement in his gaze, appearing serious and warning.
He brings his face closer to yours with a demanding gaze and your heart begins to pound as you let yourself be carried away by his proximity.
It is clear that he is going to kiss you, what does this mean if not kiss you? So you watch him expectantly and with your face lifted towards him, really looking forward to the sweet contact, your lips inches from his.
But first Aemond looks around briefly, wanting to make sure that some students in the hallway are watching you. When then, you see that he is overlooking a specific spot in the hallway.
You see how there is a slight glint in his eye and then he no longer moves.
You frown slightly, waiting. And before you can say or do anything, Aemond suddenly pulls away.
Confusion overtakes you and he clears his throat by averting his gaze, then smiles softly at you as if he wasn't about to kiss you seconds ago.
"Then I'll be more romantic next time," he says, taking his distance from you, as if trying to minimize the tense moment you've just shared.
Was he going to kiss you or not?
You can't just tell him to kiss you either, that he was going to, since this isn't real but… the change in his behavior confuses you, you don't quite understand what just happened and you don't know what to say.
"I have to go to the field now," he tells you, averting his gaze for a moment before looking at you again, "I'll see you in class, okay?"
"Hum… yeah, yeah, okay," you nod, still confused.
He gives you one last smile and before leaving, he gives your shoulder a light squeeze with his hand, another gesture that catches you off guard. Without a kiss on your forehead or cheek, as he usually does, he walks away.
You stand in the hallway, watching him go, with a mix of emotions you can't help but feel confused, uncertain and... disappointed.
Questions swirl around in your mind, but you don't have any answers. So shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you close your locker door and head to your next class.
Eventually you continue to run into him and he acts normal, as usual. He sits next to you in class, does the teacher's requested activities with you, and walks with you through the halls to the next class.
And everything is…normal, in a way.
Although he's still being kind and attentive, he's not being as affectionate as usual.
You can see how he's distracted, deep in thought from time to time, something is on his mind, something that you have no idea what it is but that keeps you alert, confused and makes you feel completely different from previous days.
You sense that the dynamic between you today has changed somehow, leaving you feeling bewildered.
And you don't know why.
Although it's not until break time that you find yourself sitting at a table alone, still feeling this awkwardness, when Alysanne comes in and drops the big bombshell on you that makes all the sense in the world.
"Why are you here eating so casually when I just saw your boyfriend catching up with his other ex-girlfriend?"
You raise your gaze to her almost instantly, with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a knot forming in your stomach as the weight of her words settle on your shoulders.
"What?"
"Yeah, Floris Baratheon," she says, then looks at you slightly confused, "How did you not know this?"
"What?" you repeat, not understanding.
"Floris Baratheon," she repeats to you slowly and clearly, "Dark hair, not as tall and certainly not as bitchy as Alys but still she falls into the category of girls who are superficial and think they are better than other girls," she explains to you.
Confusion lingers in your gaze, for despite the explanation, you still don't remember anything about a girl named Floris Baratheon at school.
"You really don't know who she is? Aemond didn't tell you about her?" asks Alysanne incredulously and your face answers her questions, "She transferred schools for a semester and just returned this morning. She and Aemond weren't actually dating but they had a thing when he and Alys broke up for like the twelfth time."
Your mind whirls as you process the information.
Honestly you had no idea about Floris' existence back in your invisibility days at school. Therefore, you also had no idea that she and Aemond had ever had any kind of relationship.
However… there is something you have an idea of at the moment.
This is why Aemond acted weird with you this morning, because of her. He must have seen her in the hallway and his demeanor changed completely.
"I-I didn't know that," you admit in a soft, low voice, trying to hide the uneasiness that is starting to creep up on you.
"Well, it's weird that Aemond didn't tell you anything, especially since I saw the two of them so comfortable and happy talking," she lets you know, "And I'm not telling you this with any malice or to make you feel bad, it's just that I think you should know, even though I thought you already knew."
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling a surge of emotions wash over you that you can't quite explain, nor can you avoid.
You're not sure what to think or how to react to this, but one thing is for sure; things between you and Aemond are likely to get complicated.
But what can you really do?
You and he aren't really dating. What's the point of asking him about it when it's really none of your business? Besides if he didn't talk to you about it before, when he saw her, it must be for this very reason.
You have no right here, even if you feel this.
"Do you want to get out of here?" asks you Alysanne later, noticing your face and probably everything that is invading your mind.
And soon enough, she takes you to the rooftop of the school, outdoors, where you just sit and watch the sky and listen to her while she smokes a cigarette, talking to you about Cregan being around her lately.
But as much as you want to give her your full attention and corroborate what she is telling you, you can't.
The rest of the classes are without Aemond, since you don't share them with him, and when the school day ends, still not knowing exactly whether to wait for him to drive you home or not, you head for the exit of the building, deep in thought.
"Hey."
You feel a hand grab your shoulder and when you turn your head without stopping moving forward, you find Aemond standing next to you.
"Hi," you reply softly, turning your gaze back to the front.
And he at your side gives you an attentive, curious and slightly confused look.
"Are you okay? I didn't see you at break," he says softly, "I also texted you and you didn't respond."
"Oh," your mind goes blank for a moment, "I was with Alysanne on the roof. She was talking to me about some things."
"Hmm," he nods, still watching you between a mixture of attentive and curious.
Then the two of you say nothing more, with the silence loud between the two of you and that tension emanating from your body, when you speak again.
"Are you going to drive me home today?" you decide to ask him, watching him, with that hesitation in your tone of voice and look.
And he frowns, watching you blankly.
"I always drive you."
You are about to speak but a third voice does it for you, stopping your steps and also Aemond's.
"Aem!"
The two turn their heads and there she is, Floris Baratheon.
Black hair, brown eyes, slender and absolutely beautiful features. She approaches with a smile, showing off her perfect, aligned teeth.
Everything about her screams money, as well as elegance, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her impeccable designer clothes and accessories.
And the moment she catches both your attention and Aemond's, you notice how he beside you tenses slightly.
"Hey," she gives him a charming smile and her full attention, placing herself in front of him, "The guys are going to get something to eat, I was just told. Do you want to join us? We can take off in your car and catch up some more."
"Hum…" he is silent for a moment, shooting you a nervous glance, scratching the back of his neck.
And throwing you another glance, this finally catches Floris' attention and she notices your presence as well.
"Oh… hi," she smiles softly at you.
Despite your nerves and how uncomfortable you're starting to feel, you force yourself to smile as kindly and genuinely as possible.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she tells you in an exaggeratedly kind tone of voice.
And this too finally gets Aemond to react.
"Yeah, right, that's my fault," he says trying to act nonchalant and completely relaxed, "Floris, this is Y/N, m-my girlfriend."
You watch as she parts her lips and her surprise is evident as she looks at Aemond and then turns her attention back to you.
"I-I didn't find the moment to tell you."
You instantly observe Aemond, with a look that even you can't explain and he suddenly can't control his nervous gestures anymore, giving a wary glance to you and then to Floris.
"Oh."
She turns her gaze back to you and though she tries to hide her surprise, the strength of her smile seems a bit forced as she holds out her hand to you.
"I'm Floris, nice to meet you."
And within everything you're feeling right now, like awkwardness and feeling out of place, you still shake your hand with hers.
"Nice to meet you."
Tension is in the air and Aemond looks hesitant for a moment. And you continue to feel like an intruder between them, getting in between the interaction of two people sharing a history you don't fully know about.
When Aemond speaks again.
"Floris is my…
He tries to tell you, but his words are left floating in the air.
Suddenly you see how he struggles and searches his mind for a way to introduce you to the girl he had a thing with in the past, only according to him, you don't know that, when certainly Alysanne already took care of it.
And just like you, you too feel Floris' anticipation, waiting for him to introduce her.
"An old friend," he finally says.
Floris arches an eyebrow slightly at Aemond's introduction, her lips curving into a smile that seems to contain more than just politeness.
"Yes, that," she punctuates, with a knowing look that to you does not go unnoticed, "Well, I just wanted to know if you were free for this afternoon. Although if you want you can bring your girlfriend with us," she proposes.
Aemond takes a moment to respond, averting his gaze as he scratches the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.
And that's when you decide to speak.
"You can go with them," you tell him and that immediately gets his attention and hers, "I can just take the bus or something and I'll see you later," you say to start walking away from both of them.
His attention and slight surprise is most visible on his face, but before you can move too far away, he grabs your hand and advances towards you.
"What? No" he immediately inquires, "No, I'll take you home."
The determination in his tone of voice and in his gaze makes you feel a little more comforted, but still, you can't shake this uneasiness in you about Floris' presence.
And that's when Aemond turns to her again without letting go of your hand.
"Sorry Floris, another time," he tells her in his firmer, slightly strained voice.
And she nods with a sympathetic look, though you can't help but sense there's something else behind her expression.
"Of course, I understand, it'll be for next time then," she says, before turning to you, "It was nice meeting you, Y/N."
And finally she is the first to walk away.
You exchange a look you can't quite describe with Aemond and feel the awkwardness and seriousness linger between the two of you, even as the two of you leave the building and make your way to his car.
And once in the passenger seat and with Aemond driving through the city streets, you find yourself fiddling with your fingers in your lap, still feeling the awkwardness in the air.
You don't understand exactly what's got you right now but you can't even see Aemond out of the corner of your eye, so you keep your gaze focused straight ahead and on the side where the window is.
"Are you okay?"
You suddenly hear his voice speak softly to you, feeling his gaze on you from time to time and you squirm a little in your seat before you speak, swallowing hard.
"Yeah, all good," you say, trying to sound convincing.
He exhales deeply, noticing your distance again.
"I'm sorry if the Floris thing made you uncomfortable. S-she…" he sighs, "She's truly a childhood friend. We had something in the past but it was very brief and it's no longer relevant."
And although there is nothing wrong with his words, you still can't help but feel a slight knot in your stomach. And you act completely unconcerned.
"I understand," you say simply, in a soft voice and still without looking at him.
But this is not convincing to Aemond, who licks his lips and can't help but worry about the situation.
"I mean it."
"Aemond," you call him softly, finally looking at him, "I understand, I really do," you assure him, "I also meant it when I said you should go eat with her and your friends. You seemed very uncomfortable and there was no problem from me."
He nods slowly, but still looks a little uneasy.
"I just didn't expect I was going to see her again."
And you don't know if that's worse.
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"Are you ready?"
Oh God, are you?
"I don't know," you answer honestly, nervously, looking at your outfit.
For this occasion you chose a pair of pants, ankle boots and a white tank top with a black jacket over it. You don't look overdressed but decent for the occasion, along with your makeup and hairstyle.
"Hey, easy," he says softly, placing both hands on your shoulders, "It's going to be okay. Besides we won't be alone, Aegon and Hel will be with us."
"Yeah but that's not what I'm worried about," you clarify, playing with your fingers, "What if I ruin everything?" you ask watching him fearfully, "What if everyone realizes that we're not really dating because of me?"
"I'll take care of that, don't worry," he assures you, with his soft gaze, "You just have to corroborate everything I say and stick to the main story. Other than that, my mother will just ask you questions about you to get to know you better."
"Are you sure?" you ask, not entirely convinced.
"Very," he affirms you, conveying calmness and assurance in his voice.
"You've done this before?" you can't help but ask, still with some hesitation, "I mean…" you lick your lips, nervous, "You've brought a girl before to dinner with your family?"
He is silent for a moment, as if considering how to answer, as the implication is clear because that's not the real question, you know that too.
Rather it is: have you ever brought Alys to dinner with your family before?
"Yes," he finally admits in a murmur, sincerely, "Yes, I have."
You stare at him silently, without the two of you saying anything else, only to look away and nod, again trying to look unconcerned, trying to calm your nerves further.
"My mother never liked her," he says later, again attracting your attention, "You know, Alys."
Again, you say nothing for a few moments, just lick your lips and nod.
"I understand."
Aemond lets out a heavy breath and takes a step towards you, lowering one of his hands to take one of yours, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of yours, this also immediately catching your attention, as you see him looking at you for a moment thoughtfully.
"Are you ready now?" he asks you softly, raising his gaze to you, "We can stay here a while longer if you want."
"No," you reply immediately, "No, I don't want to make everyone wait for us," you release a long breath, calming your nerves, "I'm ready now."
He places a small comforting smile on his lips.
"You'll do fine, trust me," he assures you then moves closer to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, just like at school.
His action definitely catches you off guard and you look at him slightly surprised, but Aemond doesn't give it that much importance, as if it was already a natural and routine thing between both of you, like a gesture of encouragement, to then take you by the hand together with him to the entrance of his house.
His house is nice and big, with a beautiful garden, so when you open the door, you see a huge and cozy living room with the dining room visible in the background, where you can make out Aegon's figure and his short silver hair.
Aemond closes the door behind you and you briefly look around, seeing the decorations of the elegant house, such as mirrors, flowers vases and also family photos.
Mostly, you see pictures of young children, which you recognize as Helaena, Aemond, Aegon and his other brother, Daeron.
There are also photos of what you assume is their mother and also a man, who you assume is the father, with Aemond and his siblings as children. But it strikes you that none of the four are smiling, just the mom a little.
There are more current pictures, only of Aemond, Helaena and Aegon smiling next to their mother, with no trace of their father and Daeron.
"He's my younger brother," he takes a single photo of a boy, standing next to you and handing it to you, "Daeron."
And just as you imagined, he's a boy of about fifteen with striking blue eyes and short silver hair, smiling at the camera with a bright face and looking in the background like he's standing in a lake at Honeyholt.
"Helaena was right," you say with a small smile, still inspecting the photo, "He really is the handsomest of the three of you."
"That's not true," he tells you immediately, taking the photo out of your hands and putting it back in its place with a quick, automatic gesture, making you laugh.
"What's up, bro?"
You both hear Aegon's voice and turn around, with the silver-haired man already walking towards you with a bottle of beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face.
"Are you drinking already?" Aemond inquires, "Mom's going to kill you."
"Oh, you know how persuasive I can be," he tells him without wiping off his smile, "Besides, I've already set the table," he points to the dining room, "It's dinner, bro."
"Careful," he warns you but he deliberately ignores him, heading in your direction.
"Y/N!" he exclaims your name smiling, coming over to embrace you, "Welcome to our home."
"Hi Aegon," you smile back at him.
He envelops you in a hug and you reciprocate cordially, instantly the strong smell of beer reaching your nostrils.
"Want one?" he points to the beer in his hand as he pulls away from you.
"I don't think so," Aemond answers him, again intertwining his hand with yours, "Where's mom?"
"In the kitchen with Hel" he points out, "Tell them to hurry, I'm starving," he says in a tone of voice that catches your attention.
But Aemond pulls you forward, starting to leave him behind, with a serious and disapproving look at his brother's attitude.
"It's the beer," he explains to you quietly, "I hate it when he drinks at home. I just hope it doesn't get unbearable later."
"Why?" you ask him, curious.
He shakes his head.
"Aegon is… complicated."
He doesn't say anything else and neither do you, mostly because he leads you toward the kitchen, but curiosity still lingers on that subject.
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in a supportive gesture that comforts you as you both cross the threshold into the kitchen, where instantly the smell of delicious freshly baked food hits your nostrils.
And the first thing you notice is a silver hair along with a darker one, who you assume must be Aemond's mother.
And immediately your nerves again explode and you feel your heart pounding hard in your chest.
"Hey, Y/N!"
A friendly voice says to you, being Helaena, who is wiping her hands with a clean dish towel and wearing a beautiful blue dress, instantly heading towards you with open arms.
"Hi Hel," you smile back happily, hugging her enthusiastically.
"Oh I'm so happy you're in our home," she says excitedly and warmly without letting go of you, "We've prepared turkey, I hope you like it," she says as she pulls away from you.
"Oh I'm sure it will," you nod at her with a sincere smile, feeling welcomed by the warmth of her welcome.
"Mom."
Aemond's voice momentarily pulls you out of your conversation with Helaena and you turn your head to meet the gaze of Alicent, Aemond's mother.
Instantly you try to control your nerves and keep your composure, remembering his comforting words.
And when Alicent's gaze meets yours, a warm smile forms on his lips, which makes you feel less nervous and conveys a sense of calm. Although the nervousness lingers, you feel a little more secure with his kindness.
Aemond places a comforting hand on your shoulder and steps forward to introduce you.
"This is my girlfriend, Y/N," he points to you with his small smile, "And Y/N, this is my mom, Alicent."
She is a very beautiful woman.
It's the first thing that comes to your mind, noting the dimples in her cheeks and that warm look she has, not being intimidating at all and being rather kind.
Besides the dark green dress she wears is completely beautiful, as well as her accessories. Everything about her radiates elegance and poise.
"A pleasure to finally meet you, my dear," she says, turning to you, "Gosh, I was so excited to meet you. It's so nice of you to come."
And without expecting it, just like Helaena, she too greets you with a hug, taking you completely off guard, causing you to let out a nervous little laugh as you hug her back.
"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Hightower," you say softly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her kindness and warmth.
"Please call me Alicent," she says as she pulls away from you.
Before all this you asked Aemond what to call her, just for the heck of it and to feel less nervous and he told you 'Hightower', the last name of her father.
So you assume that Aemond's father is not someone who gets mentioned much around here. In the family photos he is present in only one picture. And Aemond doesn't talk about him either.
And he watches with a small smile at the interaction between you and his mother, feeling relieved that things are going well so far.
"Please go and take your seats. Dinner will be served soon," she says to Aemond and you.
"Do you need help?" he asks her.
"I'm already doing it myself," Hel says, "Don't worry, little brother."
"Can you help me with your brother, please," Alicent tells him, with a look of slight concern.
"Of course," he assures her in a gentle tone.
Soon the two of you return to the dining room, the two of you take a seat together with Aegon and Aemond tries to tell him not to overdo it with his drinks, that you are here to enjoy a nice dinner with his family.
But he just makes nonchalant gestures and tells him that everything is fine, to continue drinking, looking at the screen of his phone, waiting for dinner.
Then you don't know how much time passes exactly but Alicent returns very soon along with Helaena with the food, placing the dishes in the center of the table, indicating that all this will start soon.
Aemond places his hand on top of yours underneath the table, giving you every supportive gesture possible, reassuring you at every turn that he can that all will be fine.
Every brush of his fingers against yours conveys reassurance and comfort.
You feel a slight relief as you feel his touch, reminding you that you are not alone at this moment and his presence gives you strength to face any nervousness that may arise during dinner.
And with the food finally served, the silverware begins to clink against the plate glass as everyone begins to enjoy the delicious dinner.
Aemond, like the supposed boyfriend in love with you, is totally attentive to you, asking if you're served this or that, wanting to make sure you're well received and comfortable to make this more bearable.
And you thank him all the way, feeling his mother's gaze on both of you from time to time, without wiping away her warm smile.
"Did you like the food, dears?" she asks generally.
"Oh yes," Helaena says with a look of total complicity, delighting in the food.
"It's delicious, Mom," Aemond tells her later.
"Totally," you corraborate politely, nodding in her direction.
Alicent smiles in satisfaction and then turns her attention to Aegon, who hasn't said anything since everyone started eating.
"How about you, son?" she asks him softly.
"It's fine," he says curtly, taking a huge swig from his bottle of beer.
This definitely gets your attention but Alicent as well as Aemond and Helaena decide not to give it enough attention, as if they're already used to it and don't want to ruin the moment by his behavior.
But you do notice the disapproval in each of their looks, especially the disappointment in Alicent. Though she almost instantly turns her attention away from Aegon to Aemond and you.
"So, how long have you two been dating exactly?" she asks curiously and without losing the kindness in her gaze and tone.
"A month," Aemond replies without hesitation at your side, resting one of his arms on the back of your chair.
And Alicent shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.
"And I still can't believe he kept you hidden from me, Y/N."
You smile in his direction, trying not to let your nerves give you away, as Aemond again interjects, with a soft look.
"We didn't want to rush things."
"I told him not to take too long to tell you," Helaena says as well, pointing at Aemond as she watches her mother.
"But he didn't tell me anything, Aegon did," Alicent says in amusement.
"Oh come on, I was going to tell you anyway," Aemond tries to justify himself.
"Oh you were going to?" Hel questions him.
"You want to turn her against me."
"I'm just telling the truth, little brother."
This causes Alicent to laugh softly and his gaze meets yours, where you laugh softly too, as the fight between Aemond and Hel continues. But this causes you to begin to feel comfortable and more at ease with the whole situation.
The only thing at the table that is completely serious is Aegon, who continues to concentrate on his drink and the food in front of him.
His reserved attitude contrasts with the energy you have with Aemond, his mother and sister, but they don't really give him much attention and everyone continues to enjoy the delicious food and create topics of conversation.
"So…" Alicent begins to speak, watching you with her warm gaze, "What are your college plans, sweetie?"
Oh my God.
Okay, it's happening.
You think as you slowly start to panic, but quickly get yourself under control, settling back in your seat.
"You're all graduating soon," she points to her kids with a small smile.
And you're about to speak but someone else does first.
"Which wouldn't be the case if Aegon hadn't repeated year… twice," Hel says condescendingly, pouring herself more food in a casual gesture.
"Helaena," Alicent reprimands her in a soft tone.
"Don't start with me."
Aegon's voice finally makes itself heard in a long time, speaking in a cold, curt tone, not even observing his sister, focused on his food.
"Just saying," Helaena says also with a pout in his direction.
"Then speak for yourself. You're a year behind too."
"Ugh," she sighs, "You talk like you don't know what happened."
"That's enough," Alicent says calmly, watching you both with a look of silent warning.
The atmosphere tenses slightly and all is silent for a moment, as you notice how Aemond next to you only runs a hand over his chin and you only hear the clink of silverware clattering against glass plates.
Alicent then turns his gaze to you and there you decide to speak, hoping to restore comfort to the atmosphere.
"Well, actually, I've applied to Oldtown University," you say with a soft smile, controlling your nerves, "I'm planning on getting into law school."
Surprise flashes across Alicent's face, as you briefly feel Aemond watching you beside you.
"Oh, wow," she nods slowly, her expression one of amazement, "What a coincidence, that's the same college Aemond wants to go to."
Aemond nods with a small smile, completely keeping up appearances.
"Yes," he confirms, "In fact it's perfect for us to go to the same place after graduation."
And just to show more affection with you, he places his hand and yours intertwined on top of the table, watching you with that 'love' he seeks to convey in these moments in front of his mother.
And Alicent watches you both with her soft smile, but is still intrigued by you.
"And why that choice? Law is something you always wanted to study?" she asks you, with genuine interest in her voice.
You try not to focus too much on the way Aemond's thumb begins to gently caress the skin on the back of your hand, which at the same time also reassures you.
And you nod in Alicent's direction.
"Yes, it's something I've always been interested in. It's a very heavy degree with very dense material, but it's very interesting and it's long been what I've decided for myself."
Alicent nods in your direction, listening to you intently and looking completely interested.
"And I guess at Oldtown it's a great opportunity to want to study law."
"Oh yes," you say eagerly, "Oldtown has one of the best faculties with very capable professors and all the material you need. It's certainly a great opportunity."
"But I also think that getting to study at such an in-demand university with few places in that major can be difficult," she tells you corroborating in conversation.
"Yeah, that's the bad thing, but…" you shrug, "I'm hopeful."
You watch subtly beside you, focusing for a moment on Aemond, speaking with that complicit tone, as of course he doesn't forget that the reason you're here doing this is precisely because of Oldtown.
He knows that all too well too.
"And your parents are supportive of your decision to study law?"
Slight surprise passes across your face, definitely not expecting that question, but you quickly manage to soften your face, though you still remain silent for a moment.
You try to hide any trace of bewilderment as you search for a suitable answer. And it is Alicent's same warm gaze that encourages you to respond.
"Uh… yes, my father is just as excited as I am about this possible opportunity," you reply with a small smile, being honest, "He has always supported me in all my decisions."
You respond without saying anything else and with sincerity, not mentioning anything about your mother.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he nods at you and smiles warmly, "And what about your mother, dear?" she asks with genuine curiosity.
Inevitably your whole body tenses at that moment. And an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you think again about how to respond.
You honestly didn't expect the conversation to get to this point, about how even after talking only about your father, you're still being asked about your mother.
And for a moment, you don't know what to say or what to do, but you finally decide to react after everything falls into an awkward silence and they begin to look at you slightly confused by your lack of response.
Until you decide to be honest.
"Well, I-I…" you bite your lips, "I don't actually live with her," you admit in a soft voice, avoiding eye contact for a moment, "And I haven't seen her since I was six."
Slight concern crosses Alicent's face, instantly watching you in regret.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she says sincerely, embarrassed to have caused you discomfort, "I had no idea. I apologize."
You're about to tell her it's okay, that it's no problem because she didn't know, that it's no big deal, but you don't even get a chance to speak when sudden laughter is heard throughout the dining room.
The tension in the air dissipates in that instant as everyone turns to the source of the laughter, Aegon.
He is visibly drunk, but still conscious enough to know what is going on around him and that is what is alarming.
Alicent, Helaena and Aegon's faces fill with bewilderment and disapproval, except for yours, as you watch Aegon in confusion, not quite understanding what is going on.
"Aegon," Alicent calls to him now truly annoyed, watching him seriously and reproachfully.
But Aegon barely manages to contain his laughter as he apologizes between laughs.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he mutters, his tone full of amusement and insolence.
Then Aemond at your side watches him completely serious, his jaw clenched and his gaze dark, holding back his fury at his reaction after you shared a very intimate and sensitive piece of information to you.
And Aegon laughs at it because of his own stupidity? Of course he's not going to allow that.
"What's so funny?" he inquires, expectant and about to explode.
Aegon straightens in his chair, a smirk on his face.
"Oh, nothing," he replies mockingly, "I just think she and you are perfect for each other. Apparently, we're not the only ones who have parental issues, are we?"
He asks watching his mother and sister, which makes Alicent feel even more tense, watching you worried and apologetic about the little show her eldest son is putting on.
"That's enough," she reprimands him firmly.
But Aegon seems determined to move on and turns to you again with a gesture of camaraderie, ignoring his mother's words and his brother's attitude.
"Don't worry, Y/N," he tells you with a crooked smile, "You can talk about it here and no one will judge you. All of us would understand, wouldn't we? We who wouldn't know about the subject of fucking neglectful parents with their kids."
Aemond's gaze becomes even more intense and his jaw tighter, watching his brother as if he could throw daggers at him with his eye.
"Shut the fuck up," he orders him, controlling himself as much as he can at that moment.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him worriedly.
"Or what?" Aegon challenges him, "She better know what she's getting herself into once and for all. With our fucking family traumatized by her own father who never cared about us."
"I said shut the fuck up," Aemond demands of him rising from his chair, causing everyone at the table to become alarmed.
Alicent rises at about the same time he does, and Helaena rises next, alert and worried, while you and Aegon continue to sit, he still unconcerned and you… because you don't even know how to feel about it.
The tension is too much, this is all unexpected and it's all happening too fast. And as if things couldn't get any worse, Aegon continues to talk and drink more.
"I'm just saying you two are the perfect match," he continues, his tone increasingly amused, "She doesn't have a mom and you don't have a dad, bro. Awesome, isn't it?"
Then it all happens too fast.
Aemond advances towards Aegon with a furious determination on his face that puts everyone at the table on alert, reaches towards him and grabs him hard by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to get up.
"Aemond!"
Alicent and Helaena immediately intervene, rushing towards them to stop them, but Aegon doesn't even have time to react before he finds himself on his feet, with Aemond holding him tightly.
"Stop it, Aemond!" exclaims Alicent, his tone full of authority and concern.
You finally rise from your seat as well, alert and worried, not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, feeling your pulse racing.
Then Aegon reacts as well, his face transforming into one of rage, placing his hands on top of his brother's.
"Get your fucking hands off me," he manages to say with difficulty.
"I told you to shut the fuck up or didn't I?"
"Oh and now you're going to hit me? Huh?" he asks, punching him in the chest with his hands, "You're going to hit me? And for what? For telling the truth?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you huh!? You fucking cunt," Aemond hits him back in the chest.
"Let go of me, you fucking asshole!"
"That's enough!" Alicent intervenes again, her voice firm and full of authority, "Aemond, let go right now!" she orders, furious, implying that she won't repeat it a fourth time.
The tension in the room seems to increase with each passing moment, as you hold your breath, watching Aemond worriedly, as does Helaena.
Aemond hesitates for a moment, glaring at his brother with determination, until he finally releases him with a tug, pulling away from him still watching him in warning and utter annoyance.
Aegon straightens, rubbing his neck as he glares at his brother resentfully.
"I don't need this shit. Enjoy your fucking dinner," he says grumpily, grabbing his bottle of beer and heading for the stairs, not giving anyone a glance.
At least your pulse starts to calm down when you see how it's finally all over, but you still watch Aemond worriedly.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Alicent turns to you sorrowfully, averting your gaze to her, "What a shame."
"No, no, don't worry…
You start to say in a soft tone when Aemond's serious but definitely kinder voice makes itself heard in your direction.
"I'll wait outside."
The three of you watch him silently and watch as with nonchalant gestures he takes his car keys from his front pocket and with his face still contained in fury, heads out of the house.
With a lump in your throat, you turn to Alicent and Helaena, feeling the weight of tension still hanging in the air even so.
"Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice to meet you," you say to Alicent, trying to sound as calm, gentle and kind as possible.
Alicent smiles sadly back at you, still with her saddened and troubled face.
"It was lovely to meet you and have you come, honey," she tells you sincerely, "Still I'm so sorry. It wasn't my plan for dinner to end like this."
"I totally understand, don't worry," you say with a small smile, "We can always do it again."
You say and immediately regret it, but manage to soften your face in time.
This was supposed to be the only time you would do this, but you feel you owe it to her, to Alicent, as she prepared a delicious dinner with great care. She seemed so excited and happy about everything, especially about you coming that it is such a shame that this happened.
More than anything else that's why you say so.
"Of course," she nods to you, kindly and cordially.
You bid her goodbye with a gentle hug, then embrace Helaena as well, conveying your silent support through the simple gesture.
"If you need to talk, we can do it at school," she murmurs in your ear before releasing you.
"Sure," you promise, returning the hug gratefully.
You take one last look at both of them and head out of the house. And once outside, you feel a shiver run down your spine as you face the cool night air.
And there you see him, in the middle of the night silence and at the edge of the street, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette with an almost absent gesture, looking thoughtful but also still a little upset about what happened.
You watch as he lets the smoke go between his parted lips and you, letting out a long breath, head towards him.
When he looks back at you, you too just watch him silently and he wordlessly opens the driver's door with a soft squeak and gets in the car, so you follow after him, feeling the weight of silence between you.
You too slide into the passenger seat and close the door, where soon the two of you find yourselves moving through the quiet streets of the city, the music on the radio playing at a low volume in the background.
And that's the only sound between you, the music, and even then it's a little uncomfortable.
You bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the right words as the tension lingers, but you don't even know what to say. What are you supposed to say when that happened?
But finally it's Aemond who breaks the silence.
"I hope you enjoyed the show," he murmurs, not taking his eye off the road.
You are momentarily speechless, not knowing what to say at that, not even finding the right words in your mind. Then you let out a low sigh, understanding how he must be feeling.
You mean… you went to meet his mother, it was a family dinner, everything was going well and to suddenly have it all end like that with very personal confessions that you had no idea about… it must be completely frustrating for him that you witnessed that.
"Are you okay?" you ask him in a low, soft tone, watching him intently, concerned and understanding.
He lets out a long breath, pursing his lips as he considers your answer, saying nothing for a moment. But when he finally does, he says it in a voice laden with weariness, regret and seriousness.
"I'm not even upset that Aegon said all that… he… he's right," he says resentfully, "I'm upset that you had to witness it."
The weight of his words falls on you, sensing Aemond's seriousness and frustration in his words. You watch his serious and weary face, the fury he is still holding back.
And for a moment, you look like you're not going to say anything, but after biting your lips, you finally speak.
"You don't have to worry about me," you tell him in a soft voice, "After all, he was right about what he said about my mother too," you add, seeking to offer some comfort, "I don't even remember her, you know? And honestly… it doesn't affect me nor do I care."
If your words caused anything in him, he doesn't show it, as he continues with his eye focused on the road.
But inside, he can't help but feel a little surprised and amazed at your ability to accept those circumstances with such calm and determination compared to him.
And finally he nods, understanding the truth of your words.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.
You watch him with a soft and… slightly thoughtful gaze, feeling the tension between the two of you finally begin to fade, resulting in a warm and pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, as usual.
And unexpectedly for him, you take his free hand gently and intertwine your fingers with his, offering a small gesture of support amidst still the frustration he is feeling.
"I don't," you confess softly.
You don't say anything else and neither does he, hoping you can put this behind you. And all along the way, he keeps gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.
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You wait anxiously, moving your foot repeatedly up and down, glancing from time to time at your surroundings and also at the screen of your phone, wanting to keep the time very much in mind.
The gentle morning breeze caresses your face, with the sun painting golden hues in the morning sky and listening in the background to the birds singing, but also all the movement of the soccer team training early at this hour from the field.
Everything seems to be calm, except for your racing heartbeat, where you avoid biting your nails and simply bite your lips in a nervous gesture, as well as the inside of your cheek.
Then you finally see Aemond approaching with his backpack on his shoulder and his face soft.
"Hey," he says softly, taking a seat in front of you, taking off his backpack and watching you carefully, "What's up? Is everything okay?"
Out of nerves, your whole body tenses and you avoid stuttering as you speak, stirring in your seat.
"Yeah, yeah, just…" you lower your gaze, playing with your fingers, "I just want to talk to you about something."
Aemond nods, giving you his full attention.
"Well? What is it?" he asks you warmly, not wanting to put pressure on you as he notices all the tension that is invading you at the moment.
But he honestly starts to worry seeing you that way.
And you swallow hard, with your gaze lowered, feeling the need to just let it out and nothing more, having that urge so you don't keep torturing yourself with your destructive thoughts.
"I was thinking that… maybe…" you let out a sigh, "Maybe we should stop this," you mutter, your voice barely a whisper.
And Aemond only watches you more intently, beginning to look alert, furrowing his brows in confusion.
"Stop what?"
You bite the inside of your cheek hard, completely flustered.
"Our fake relationship," you reply cautiously, watching him intently and with some concern.
"What?" he immediately queries you, "I-I don't-I don't understand."
"I think we've both accomplished what we wanted to… oh well, almost everything," you tell him knowingly, "But we've already put on a good show in front of the whole school, Alys is upset enough, and the cheating thing is behind us. We should stop."
You explain but in the middle of all your explanation, Aemond only frowns more, listening to you completely attentive, watching you surprised and incredulous.
"And the trip to Dragonstone?" he inquires you, with a serious and alert look, "That trip is key, it would be great for both of us to go together, as a couple."
You try to remain calm, but your heart is pounding and your nerves are getting the better of you.
"Yes, I know, but… do we really need to keep pretending?" you ask, "You've already saved your reputation, remember?"
Aemond shakes his head firmly, his jaw tense with mounting frustration.
"It's still not enough," he tells you seriously, "At least wait until after the trip."
"Aemond, I don't see why we should wait until then," you mutter, unsure, "We can finish everything now."
Aemond's expression hardens, his jaw tense with frustration as he tries to understand you.
"Y/N, the trip is in the contract," he tells you firmly, "And we agreed to finish everything until graduation."
You exhale, feeling the overwhelming weight of the situation that you didn't expect was going to get this bad the moment you decided to do this.
"I know, but I don't see the point of this anymore."
He becomes more confused, shaking his head, looking at you confused and now completely frustrated.
"What-what's wrong?" he asks you in a soft but urgent voice, attentive, "Did something happen?" he asks you concerned and interested, "Did something happen that I still don't know about?"
Oh God.
Fear grips you as you struggle to keep your composure and not let your nerves get the better of you.
"Or is this because of the dinner thing? And because of Alys' pranks?" he asks you worriedly, "If it's that, tell me. I-I'll find a way to fix it. You won't have to go to dinner at my house again and I'm sure I can talk to Alys."
"No, no… I-I…" you sigh, "It's not that-
He shrugs, looking at you confused and frustrated.
"Then what is it?"
Your heart pounds as you struggle to keep your composure in front of him.
Your words get stuck in your throat, enduring Aemond's still serious, worried and frustrated look on you, waiting for an explanation. But the feeling of panic grows in your chest and you resign yourself completely.
"Nothing, forget it," you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.
You stand up and gather your things, slinging your backpack over your shoulder, just as Aemond sighs and looks more frustrated.
"Y/N," he calls your name in a tired gesture.
But you don't heed him, just focus on getting away from him,
"Y/N, please stop," he says to you in a soft but urgent voice.
But you don't stop, you can't.
How could you do it and how could you tell him that the real reason you decided to bring this up to your fake boyfriend is because maybe you are actually falling in love with him and the feeling is getting more and more intense, and you can't help it?
You just can't.
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verinarin · 4 months
Note
VERIIII (what should I call you--) what about Aventurine x cold reader? It can be a oneshot. I don't know why but I like flirty man x 'oh yeah' woman. Feel free to ignore~ :D
OHH THAT’S A CUTE TROPE !!, BTW VERI’S FINE IT’S MY NICKNAME HEHE, I hope you enjoy this smoll fic !
fluff w mentions of blood | A mission with Aventurine what could possibly happen?
Can I get to know you better ?
It’s been too long, approximately 1 hour since he went in to the room. He asked you to wait outside since it’ll be done soon but seriously you should’ve keep an eye on him.
Bang bang !
Two shots could be heard.
Yup, you should’ve accompanied him.
Before you could even twist the door knob, he gingerly walks outside with splashes of crimson red painted his face, “Sorry for the long wait, I seriously thought it’ll be a lot smoother with that guy,” Aventurine huffs.
“Do I really need to know about whatever this is,” you sigh as you point your finger to trace the blood on his face and clothes.
“You do not want to know that’s for sure,” he laughs as wipes a streak of blood with his thumb, without any words exchange you walk towards, closing in the distance between you both.
You swiftly took out your handkerchief and wipe the blood off his face as clean as you could, your gentle wipes and sudden move turned his face as red as the blood, “Aww you care about me don’t you,”
“Not really, I just don’t want to be the center of attention. I mean walking beside a man covered with blood is pretty eye catching,” you reply candidly, what a way to broke someone’s heart, he thought.
After cleaning his face you undress your coat and wrap it around him to cover the blood marks around his chest, “Next time if you plan to kill a person, do it as clean as possible can’t you ?,”
“Sorry for being such a hassle, let me make it up yeah ?. How about dinner at that new place that’s open,” he chuckles as he wear your coat.
“No need,” you reply shortly.
“C’mon don’t lose your chance at using me,” he smiles, to be honest he had always wanted to know you better but most of the time you declined his offer to go drink or eat somewhere.
“That’s the thing I never intended to use you, I respect you well enough that I don’t want you to treat me like how you treat others, like a pawn,” you reply calmly as you walk away, yet he can’t help but to disrupt your movements.
With his hand wrap around your wrist he holds you in place, “H-hey I worded it out wrong, umm I’d like to get to know you better, we’ve been working together for quite some time now and you’re such a mystery to me,” you turn around to look at him as he lets go of your wrist.
“What I was saying is that I genuinely want to get to know you better, no strings attached, so dinner ?,” he softly ask hoping that you wouldn’t turn him down again
“Alright then but you’re driving,”
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a-spes · 7 months
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T H E D O G ' S F A L L - One shot.
Words count - 5,2k.
Tags & Warnings - mob boss!Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader, angst, harm/comfort, manipulation, mentions of blood/past abuses, human trafficking.
Summary - Anyone that can beat her in a fight will earn her, and Natasha intends to be the one, working hard to get what she thinks is hers. A dog can't fight for eternity, can it?
Moodboard here.
N/A - It's the longest os I've wrote so far, took me a lot of time but it's enventually here so I really hope you'll enjoy it! If it's the case, don't hesitate to let me know by interacting with the post :)
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It is at the back of that popular night club that everything is happening, where no one can see your distress except the one that enjoys it, where everyone is too busy having fun to pay attention to the veritable purpose of this building. On a dark corner that light never reaches, a man is guarding the most important secret of that place, and very few are the people he lets through; only rich and influential men and women get their ticket for this special spectacle that takes place here every night.
Down there, the loud music is replaced by the shouts of excited men that makes her sigh; why do they have to scream like animals? If she gets a few glances, no one dares to say anything as the infamous Black Widow is walking through the crowd to get to her place. She has blood on her back, people are whispering, some from admiration, others from fear, but no one stays indifferent - how could they? One of the most important mafia bosses of the city, but also one of the most discreet, is here. She has her reputation and, even if she is rarely seen, she is well-known, so none of the men dares to protest when she decides to take place in their lodge, chasing them out of the room. 
From here, she has a perfect view of the cage and, most importantly, of the Dog.
It is obvious that there is no way out of the ring, that you are trapped in that cage until one of these men’s victory - or your last breath - but, somehow, you still believe that defeating them will lead you out of that basement. So, not caring about how many of them are daring to step in your cage, you beat them, one by one. You watch the man you just defeated being escorted out of the cage so the next one could take his place - it gives you a few seconds to catch your breath. 
The world is spinning, you can’t even see the faces of your opponents, but you don’t give up. Even if the only thing you want is to curl up in the corner, crying for your mom, you can’t. You can’t because it will mean giving them your life. No, you need to be stronger than them, to pretend that you don’t feel the pain inflicted by their blows, to pretend that you are not bothered by the metallic taste of the blood in your mouth, they need to believe you could do that all night. But you are not foolish and you know damn well that you won’t last long. 
It is hard to focus on anything, even on breathing, because you are overwhelmed by a crew you can't even see, blinded by the lights; you are the spectacle. They all came to see the Dog fighting, hoping to witness its fall. They are shouting, mostly insults in Russian, whistling and clapping everytime something exciting is happening during a fight, but it won’t be enough to save you from that place. 
Oh, at first, they were cheering for you, but it slowly changed, people getting tired of seeing your pretty face every night. They thought you would be easy to break and hated to be proven wrong, and you perfectly know that the stakes have changed. It is no longer about giving them what they want, entertainment, it is purely about surviving and you noticed how the attitude of your opponents changed over the weeks, becoming more aggressive.
You were a champion, now you are just a little bitch they need to get rid of. 
The organization that threw you in that rat hole understood that as much as you did and, tonight, they changed the rules. Tonight, it'll be only you against the world, until they are tired of it. No break, no help, everytime one leaves, the next one is already stepping in the ring, as an endless torture. 
Tonight, she will be one of them. She has been looking at you hungrily since the first time she came here, and she knows that you will be hers by the end of the night, after all she came just for that, to take you home.
Even if she is here every night, you never had a chance to notice the woman. She was always sitting in the last row, observing you from her balcony, where she is hidden by the shadow, but she noticed you for sure. The time she came, it was only because of one of her associates that wanted to meet here specifically, she never left since. From the moment her eyes landed on you, she was unable to think about anything else, the way you were looking so innocent but so feroce at the same time got her heart. 
She sent a few of her best men, knowing they would lose, as a test, waiting for the moment it would be her turn to enter the cage. She never expected them to win and she would have killed them if they had the audacity to: she is the one that is supposed to defeat you, the only one that has the right to own you. The urge to possess you only grew stronger over the weeks, being deeper every time she came here, she wants to see you as you are breaking under her effect, to control every aspect of your life. 
So she patiently waited for the right time to come, she always liked a bit of challenge anyway, having a soft spot for things that are hard to get. She worked hard to get you, spending weeks observing every of your movements: she learned how you are fighting and your habits, she learned to read your body and face as if she was on your mind, and that’s the difference with the others: if you are a game for them, for her, you are a goal she must reach at all costs. 
As soon as your eyes laid on her, you knew she wouldn’t back up, somehing in the way she stepped in the cage already made all the difference. It is her confidence. It is the smirk on her face, a cocky one. It is the way her hands are stuck in her pockets while she is observing you. It is the slight sigh as she gets rid of her leather jacket. It is all these details that give the impression that she is just here to settle a formality, already certain of her victory.
Even the way she is moving has something unrealist. Every step, every look, is calculated and almost imperceptible. Usually, you would step forward, ready to fight even before they entered the cage to show them you are not afraid, but this time? You can’t help but instinctively step back when she enters. The movement was slight, as you were already leaning the grid but she noticed it, the way her aura is pressuring you, and she loves it.
As soon as the door was closed, your fate was sealed.
It all happened really fast because she knew exactly what to do, she prepared for that moment. You quickly realized that you were right: the woman had nothing in common with the men you were fighting against earlier, you never stood a chance to win that fight. The realization is more painful than the blows she is currently throwing at you. Every punch you try to land, she knows exactly how to dodge it. As if she was on your mind, she knows exactly where to hit to get you weak, stealing your breath and your strenght, having you on your knees then laying on the floor in less than a few minutes. 
At first, you tried to get up, to fight, but she is faster than you are, and wiser, and stronger, and more trained. She is being pretty much better in everything. Soon your vision is so blurry that you can’t see anything, you are feeling so weak that even moving your fingers or keeping your eyes open is just too much. 
"Stay still,” she quietly ordered when she noticed you were struggling against her grip - she had you pinned down on the ground by pressing her foot on your back and grabbed your hair to lift a bit your head. "You're going to be mine no matter what, so don't make things harder for yourself, honey." 
One. 
Two. 
Three. 
You hear the countdown but, this time, it is not your victory that is announced, it is hers. As soon as her name is shouted by the crew, her grip releases your hair but you simply don't have the strength to move, the news leaves a void in your chest. The pain, but mostly this feeling of emptiness, is keeping you frozen in place. She owns you, and this simple idea is sending shivers through your whole body. You don't realize yet what is happening, thinking that, maybe, it is just a cruel joke on you, and it explains the lack of reaction when she asks you to get up; she needs to grab your arm and lift to get you on your feet. 
You stumble, fighting the urge to vomit. Your brain can barely process what is happening, especially when you realize that your feet are not touching the ground anymore. In her arms, you are nothing more than a rag doll, silent and motionless, barely having the energy to keep your eyes open. 
"She is not for sale,” she coldly said, her voice bringing you back to reality. As she was on her way to get out of the night club, some men were offering the woman outrageous amounts of money in the hope of getting you, they all backed up once she coldly glanced at them. "No one will ever take you away from me, do you hear that, love? You are safe as long as you’re with me," she then whispered in your ears. 
You drift into unconsciousness as soon as the car starts, despite the woman that kept begging you to keep your eyes open, the way she was cadling you not helping. You just had enough time to notice the men sitting at the front of the black van, both armed and intimidating, before falling into darkness. 
You opened your eyes again when the car stopped in an alley. It is late, the sun gave its throne to the moon a long time ago and, even if you can't tell what time it is, you know it is the middle of the night. How many hours did you spend down there, fighting for your life? The question makes you sick because the only answer is too many. All these hours for nothing because, no matter how hard you triee, you loose. You were never supposed to win their twisted game, you never got a chance and you slowly realize that the promised freedom was just a lure. For weeks you believed them, you played along their rules, thinking it was the only way to get your life back.
And here you are, in the arms of your new owner, a woman you know nothing about but that now has every rights on you, even if you will live depends exclusively on the redhead's choices. The fear twists your stomach, the humiliation clenches your throat and the exhaustion makes your eyes burning, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you repeat in your head, but you don't know for how long you will be able to keep your tears for yourself.  
The woman is not looking at you at all, she is concentrating on not falling as she is walking to the house, barely seeing where her feet are landing. You, however, can't help but observe every detail of her face, noticing how serious her expression is. You are trying to guess how your life is going to be by her side, but you can't, she is a complete mystery and you hate that.
A part of you wants to go back in that basement. It may have been a living hell, but you had your habits, you knew how to survive, now you will have to learn everything again. 
You notice that two armed persons are guarding the front door and, when you pass by them, they exchange a few words in Russian. You can't understand a word of what they are saying, but you guess they are greeting the woman, beside some insults, you don't know a lot and only because that's how they used to call you.
The inside of the penthouse is exactly as you imagined it: expensive, tidy and minimalist. You never felt comfortable in that kind of environment, it always reminded you that you will never have a place in that sphere, you are nothing more than their animal, a dog that does everything they want. 
Once inside, you almost expected her to drop you on the floor but she didn't. Her grip is strong, as if she doesn't want to let you go, that's because she is scared too. She exchanged a few words in Russian with a woman before heading upstairs. 
Your eyes closed because of the light, you don't see much more of the house, nor of where you are going. You can feel that she climbs the stairs, takes a few turns and walks through a door before she eventually lets you go. It is with care that she sits you on the floor of the bathroom. 
"Here we are," she whispered, "you can open your eyes, love," she added when she noticed they were still closed. If you can't see her smile, you can feel her hand brushing your cheek. 
For weeks you didn't see anything else than pitch darkness and the dimmed light of the basement where you were fighting, it is great to eventually be able to see something else. She even made sure to not turn the big light on, only a small one in the corner that diffuses a subdued light. Somehow, she knows exactly what to do to make you feel comfortable. 
"Let me help you," she said, coming closer to kneel in front of you when she realized you couldn't take your bath alone.
On the way home, she sent a message for one of her maids to run a bath for you to enjoy when you arrived. The mirrors fog up and a scent of jasmine fills the room, but even if the idea of taking a bath sounds good, you don't move. You are curled at the exact place she left you in, your knees against your chest.
You are like a dog, but nothing like a fighting one, she thought when she saw how you tried to back up when she reached for your shirt.
"I am not going to do anything," she quietly said, trying to sooth you by using a gentle tone and caressing your cheek with her thumb. "I am going to help you to get rid of those rags so you can get a bath, okay? Then, we can clean your wounds and have a good meal, does this sound good?" she asked and you slowly nodded. 
She helps you to get rid of your clothes that are closer to rags honestly as they have holes in them, the fabric being soaked in dirt, blood and sweat, sticking to your skin. You never felt so vulnerable than right now, under her serious gaze, what is she thinking about? It is impossible to guess but you can feel her eyes on your body as she looks you up and down. A quick glance which allows her to take a mental note about all your injuries.
"What are you doing?" she chuckled, when her eyes didn’t land on your chest but on your crossed arms - you were trying to hide, how cute. "How silly you are,” she whispered when noticing you didn't seem to understand what she was talking about, "thinking you can hide like that."
Her tone sounded too sweet for it to genuinely be and there is something behind her gentle tone that is rigging alarms in your head. You can't tell what it is exactly, but there is that weird feeling, your instinct screaming at you to be careful when your body just wants to give up and be in her arms, ‘cause what could go wrong?
She takes your hands to pull them away from your chest so you can’t hide from her anymore. Her grip is firm, just a little too strong so you understand that, despite her sweet smile, she won't hesitate to be harsh with you if you don’t behave. However, she still seems to be extra careful while moving you, as if you were a porcelain doll, because for nothing in the world she would hurt her fragile princess. She  slowly takes your arms away so she can give a glance at all your injuries. What she sees makes her sigh, she seems about to say something but keeps her words for herself ; you should have been more careful. 
She helped you to get in the bath and it was a nice moment, a few minutes you got for yourself because, surprisingly, she let you bathe yourself alone. Oh, she wasn’t far away, just at the other end of the room, keeping a close eye on you at every time, but dealing with something on her phone. She would occasionally comment on the way you were doing things, talking you throught it so you can shower the proper way, her way. Once you are done, she wraps you on a soft towel, bandages your wounds and gives you clothes that are hers, a hoodie and a short, and you can’t help but notice how good they are smelling, how comfortable you are feeling in these.
"Did you say something?" she genuinely asked, turning to you because she was sure she heard you mumbling a few words. 
She was talking about your life here, talking almost alone as you weren’t really talkative, but thinking she would miss the words you whisepered was a mistake because she never misses anything.
"Nothing important," you replied, but this answer doesn't seem to please the woman, something twitching in her eyes, coming from soft to sharp.
"When I ask you a question, you reply to it, am I clear?” she said, immediately leaving what she was doing to come close to you and grab your chin.  “You are not the one that gets to decide what’s important, your small brain can't handle big decisions and that's why I am here. I mean, see how it got you to be by yourself …" she continued, looking at you with disdain, as if she was thinking that it is only your fault if you ended up in that rat hole, caught in human trafficking. “I am here to give you a second chance and you better take it ‘cause it may be the last… so don't talk to me like that ever again, did I make myself clear enough?"
The only answer you are able to give her is a whining accompanied by a sniffle and she obviously doesn’t like that. Even if you tried your hardest to not let those tears rolling down your cheeks, you can’t help it, her harsh words only making things worse because you are already hating to disapoint the woman. 
"If I knew you would cry, I would've sold you ..", she sighed in annoyance, her nails digging into your skin, "I hate cry-babies, understand?" she asked, but it wasn’t not a question: it was a warning. "The fighter I saw in that ring must be here when I am back," she coldly added before releasing the pressure she was exerting on your face.
She leaves, slamming the door shut so you easily understand that she is upset with you reacting that way. She has done everything she could in order to help you to be comfortable here : she gave you a bath and clothes, cleaned your wounds, promised you a meal and a bed, even gave you comfort but it still doesn't seem to be enough because you were crying as if she was some sort of monster, and she can't bear that vision. She tried to repeat to herself that you are just tired, that things are going to get better with time but it doesn’t calm her down. Whether you want it or not, she will make sure that, one way or another, you will accept her and she won't hesitate to use the hard way if she has to. 
When she comes back, she notices that didn't move an inch, scared by what the woman could say and impressed by the bedroom. But it didn’t prevent your eyes from wandering around the room. It is really minimalist, there is nothing that could give you a hint about the person she is, everything is exactly where it should be, not a speck of dust and no personal objects. It feels like a hotel room more than hers.
When you hear the door, your gaze settles on the woman. Your knees are bent against your chest as if it could protect you from all the dangers of the world. She probably left you for only five minutes, but they felt like hours. Your thoughts had time to run while waiting for her : what about trying to escape? But it never worked, it’s always a dead end, a path to regrets because they always find you, making sure you won’t even think about doing it again and, if they do not find you, it's someone else. You learned that there is no escape and gave up on going back to your old life a long time ago. It is not even the fear of the armed men that is keeping you here, it's the void in you when you think about what you would do if you were free again, nothing. Nothing because you forgot how to live on your own. So you didn't move, not even a finger because she didn't ask you to do it, only being a dog that lives for its masters' will.
But what piques your curiosity is more the tray in her hands than anything else. As soon as she enters the room, closing the door behind her with her foot, a pleasant smell spreads through the room. You can see many things on the tray she brought back : a glass of water, some pills, a bowl of steaming soup with bread and a plate with rice, vegetables and chicken. When was the last time you ate a real meal? Long enough for you to not remember what it was.
"Eat." she said as she put the tray on your knees.
It smells good. That's the first thought that crossed your mind when you saw the plate. For a moment, you forget about the past hours; when was the last time you got a real meal? You can't remember, not even a fragment of a memory. 
You would eat what your owners give you, eat quickly before they come back, never knowing what you are eating nor when the next meal would be; you learned to not ask too many questions. At first, it was difficult to accept such a fate: you would refuse to even taste the food they were giving to you, but it didn't last long. Eventually, you started to eat - inhale - anything you were given without thinking twice about it.
Tonight, for the first time in years, you are going to eat something else than the leftovers of someone you don't even know. Tonight, you won't have to be scared about your food being stolen. Tonight, you can even see the smoke, a sign that your meal is still hot, freshly cooked and maybe homemade.
"I-," you started, but she didn't let you finish your sentence, your lips barely had time to move that she already cut you, leaving no place for an argument.
I am not hungry, you were about to say, and she somehow knew it. She also knew it was a lie, your stomach has been painfully twisted because of that sick feeling for days, but the knot is also caused by your fears. 
It all feels a bit too perfect. It feels like a trap, a way to encourage you to let your guard down only to break you after, making the fall harder. Some did that in the past, why not her? She doesn't look less cruel than the others. Yet, when she is talking, she seems more genuine, you could believe her when she says she only wants what's best for you, that she cares, she just has a twisted way to show it. 
"Yes, you are, so eat, now," she ordered you with such a cold tone that you don't dare to argue. There are all these warnings she doesn't say out loud but you can read in her eyes: just do whatever I tell you, pretty girl, they say. 
And, for sure, you don't want to face the consequences of your insubordination. So you slowly take the fork, not glancing away for one second, your eyes into hers. You are looking at every detail of her expression as if it would change, telling you that it is a trap, except it doesn't and her expression stays stern. It is impossible to read anything on her face, not even a hint of how she is feeling.
You take the first bit, carefully swallowing and… nothing happens. You don't feel weird, it doesn't taste bad and she doesn't snap at you for a small imaginary mistake you would have made. It is the complete opposite. The food is really good, melting on your tongue, and you start to eat quickly, not because you have to, but because you want to. For the first time in years, eating is a pleasure. 
She sighed when she noticed that you were inhaling your food, but she didn't say anything; she will have all the time later to change that habit of you. So she just stood there for a few seconds, observing you in silence, with her arms crossed, before sitting next to you - that's when you broke eye contact, once she was sure you would eat everything. 
As you are eating, she is barely paying attention to you, at least that's the impression she is giving. One of her arms wrapped around your shoulder, her hand is absently drawing circles on your skin while she is on her phone, dealing with something serious - you can hear her frustrated sighs from time to time.
Except she sees everything and your mistake was to not be careful enough around the woman. A little because of your clumsiness, mainly because of how fast you were eating, you dropped a bit of your food on the floor. You didn't think it was a big deal, picking it up to put it back on the plate. Three seconds rules, dropped on a clean floor, you don't have very high standards anyway - but she does. She turned to you the moment she felt you were moving, a curious, but disgusted, look on her face.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her hand grabbing your wrist before you could drop the bit of food on your plate. She moves your hand on the side of the tray, far from your plate, before you even get a chance to reply. "Drop it," she ordered to you, "that's gross, hope you weren't going to eat that." 
You shake your head, too scared to do anything else, but she knows you are lying; of course you were about to eat it. You spent the past years living like a fighting dog, you would eat anything she would give you, you might even eat directly from the dirty floor if she asked you to. She winces in disgust, not letting your hand go.
"Give me that," she snarled and you can feel how her grip tightened on your wrist to force you to give the fork away.
She then takes the tray that was in front of you to put it on her side of the bed, you are looking at her, scared she would definitely take your meal away. You are about to protest when she notices it and glances at you, daring you to say a word, you don't. 
"Come here," she said, gesturing you to come closer, she even grabbed your arm to guide you when she noticed you were hesitant to move.
She sits you between her legs and you are clearly uncomfortable, wiggling, but if she notices it, she doesn't seem to care. She is so close to you that you can feel her breath tickling your skin, but she keeps acting like nothing is weird here. When she leans to cut your food, you can feel her chest pressing against your back, the contact making your heart races. Too focused on how close you are to the woman, you barely noticed when she approached the fork from your mouth, waiting for you to open. It takes one more second for you to understand what she is waiting for and, when you do, you blush in embarrassment. She takes advantage of you opening your mouth to say something to feed you, and you don't dare to push her away. 
"Can't even eat alone, hm?" she whispered in your ear while you were chewing the bit of food she just gave you, "but that's fine, I am here now," she added, and there is something in her tone that makes you shiver.
Once she made sure you ate everything, she wrapped her arms around you, laying a kiss on your temple. It is strange how safe you are feeling in her embrace: for a few seconds you forget she is the one that beat you earlier. Right now, she is just someone that cares for you, with whom you feel at peace. You can't remember the last time someone made you feel that way, you can barely remember your life before entering the human trafficking circuit.
You don’t really know when you fell asleep, but your eyes were quick to close under the effects of her fingers running on your hair and of her voice whispering sweet words in your ears. At some point, a maid came to take the empty tray away and the woman layed the both of you in the bed, under the covers, trying her best to not wake you up. This night, you slept in a comfy bed, feeling protected in the arms of the woman despite the things she did, not even thinking one second about pushing away her hands that found their way under your sweatshirt, resting on your stomach. 
The Dog fell right into the Black Widow’s web.
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chaos-smh · 3 months
Text
Dutch Van Der Linde Headcanons
a/n: sorry for the delay in posting! this is probably a bit ooc but dutch is hard to write for phew. hope y'all enjoy!
pairing/s: dutch van der linde x fem!reader
content: suggestive content, smut, dom!dutch, hand kink?, established relationship, d/s dynamics, sub!reader, fluff?, dirty talk
word count: 790 words
minors dni!!🔞
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Dutch can’t keep his hands off you. It almost felt as if there wasn’t a single moment in the day where his dexterous fingers weren’t resting on you, pressing into your supple flesh with his rings cool against your skin. It didn’t matter to him if everybody else was watching when he would crane your neck with his calloused hand and force you to look at him. However, what he savored the most was those moments in the depths of the nights when he would grasp at your flushed face, stifling your breath and muffling your cries of pleasure. The night would usually end with his hands soaked with your own tears and drool. Although, nothing could match your awe for the rings he wore and Dutch loved to tease you about it. “Oh? You want me to keep them on, do you sweetheart?” He would soon have you grasping at him and blushing hard when he curled his fingers inside of you with the cold jewelry soon drenched with your own slick. 
Dutch loves reading to you. Being the type of man that he is, Dutch took a certain pleasure in explaining things to you but he especially enjoyed when he was able to read to you. It surprised him when you had first asked but he was quick to fulfill your request. There was something about the way that the words would roll of his tongue and how his baritone voice would resonate in his chest which you fell in love with. It gave you butterflies when you would rest up against his chest with his arms around you as he read page after page into the late hours of the night. However, you quickly found yourself loosing track of the narrative when you would simply become mesmerized by the way he spoke to you. “You just like my voice, don’t you, my dear?” 
Dutch loves to spoil you. He took pride in the way that he was presented and perceived and he insisted that you should too. The gifts had started off very small but each one came with its own meaning, whether it was romantic or something which would make you to giggle. It became noticeable when the gang started to receive a steady flow of money as bottles of expensive perfume and lavish dresses would find their way to you. He relished in being able to dress you up and show you off like you were his own little doll. However, presents weren’t the only thing that he spoiled you with. Whenever you pleased him enough, he was kind enough to reward you. Dutch would honor you with deep thrusts which would leave you shaking and begging in a puddle of your own pleasure by the end of the night. “You can’t take anymore? But you’ve been such a good girl.”
Dutch always leaves his mark on you. It was clear that Dutch took pride in his work and that included you. There was nothing that gave him more of a thrill than being able to see the chorus of colors that littered your neck after a long night well spent. Your cheeks would burn the next day when you would attempt to go about your daily routine and try to avoid the teasing jokes from the other girls. However, you always caught the smug look and satisfied grin on Dutch’s face as he stood proud with a cigar on his lips and looked over you. Dutch also made it sure that you couldn’t sit. Deep shades of blue and purple smothered your behind as he would smack his ringed hand against the supple flesh for what would feel like hours. He enjoyed watching you waddle around the next day. 
Dutch has a need to always be in control. Whenever Dutch lost control, he always knew at the end of the day that you would be there to submit to him. You would be stupid to challenge his authority or disobey his word. Whether you were strung out over his lap or forced on your knees, he was quick to remind you who was in charge. Your nights together would be spent in deep bliss as he would coax out your submission with long and unforgiving thrusts, making sure to leave you sobbing for your own release. His firm teachings didn’t just remain in the bedroom though, as he made it habit to let everyone know who you belonged to. Dutch adored the blush on your face when you would refer to him as ‘sir’ and he relished in the way you squirmed when he made you sit on his lap.  “Don’t pout now, or do I need to remind you who you belong to.” 
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mrsriddlenott · 7 months
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Could u pls do a pt 2 to patience? 😭🧎🏼‍♀️
Yessss Yes I can🥰 I think I got a bit carried away not gonna lie but this may be my favorite thing I’ve written on here so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
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Patience Pt2
[masterlist][Pt1]
Bf!Mattheo Riddle x fem!Reader
Warnings:Smut,OrgasmDenial,D/S Dynamics, Exhibitionism/PublicSex,Teasing, Dacryphilia(kinda), Unprotected PinV.
It didn’t take Mattheo long to begin exploring his newly found kink, and it soon became his utmost favorite thing to do. He’d innocently smile across from you at dinner as you stumble over your words, his voice filling your mind with promises of what he’d do to you later. He’d sit beside you in class, dutifully taking notes for you both as he distracted you with images of him taking you on that very desk.
“Do you like that Princess? Do you want me to fuck you in front of everyone?” Thankfully you’d grown rather good at hiding moans and gasps from his surprises, much to his dismay. So he just found new ways to earn those pretty noises. Some days he’d tease you relentlessly without ever allowing you to touch him outside of your thoughts until you were too needy to care about the noises you’d make. On other days he’d discreetly bring his hand down to run his fingertips along the top of your thigh while he told you how much he needed you in your mind. All the while never intending to give you anything, just to make you act like a needy little brat so he’d get to treat you accordingly.
Today Mattheo had decided to try a new mix of the two, he figured if he put enough thought into it he could make you feel anything he wanted you to, anywhere he wanted you to. Just the thought of you coming in your seat at merely imagining his touch had Mattheo struggling to fit his dick behind his zipper that morning. At breakfast he did his best to act as calm as possible as he took his usual seat across from you with a smile, “Good morning Gorgeous, did you sleep well?”
As soon as he watched your lips go to form your sentence, he concentrated on your beautiful mind and how amazing it would feel to please you from under the table, forcing a rush of warmth to run directly up your inner thigh as though Mattheo had just gotten on his knees and licked his way below your skirt. He took the light gasp and widened eyes as evidence enough of his plan working, the human mind was after all, more or less, a mass of cords he could rewire at his will.
The corners of Mattheo’s mouth rising into a wicked grin told you all you needed to know, whimpering slightly as the sensation of his teeth marking your thigh flooded your nerve endings. “You like that Baby? New little trick of mine. Are you okay with it?” The way he nonchalantly ate scrambled eggs and watched your face as though he wasn’t giving you phantom kisses across your naval had you squirming in your seat and falling into a submissive state.
You knew he wouldn’t use any of his mind tricks to hurt or control you. Or do anything you said not to for that matter, but knowing he could, knowing that he was in fact taught to use magic for mental manipulation to do just that to enemies of his father, had a rush of heat shooting to your core that dampened your panties as you nodded your head quickly. Mattheo arched his eyebrows at you while he smiled into his juice after having read your thoughts, he knew you loved the sense of control he had over you in moments like these and he absolutely adored when you were his good girl.
But today, he wanted the bratty, attitude filled y/n that had him tightened against his jeans from the day he met you. And he was hell bent on bringing her out to play.
He was painfully hard and growing more so while he watched you try not to move as his nonexistent fingers ghosted over your clit. He was teasing himself just as much as he was you, wishing he could feel and taste your wetness he was positive was accumulating between your thighs. Mattheo wanted to punish you, he wanted you to be looking up at him with glossy eyes and begging in that adorably whiny little voice of yours by the end of the day. And being the fair boyfriend he was, he’d never punish you without reason…….so he’d make a reason.
“Words Darling.” You huffed at him, scrunching your eyebrows together from across the table. Mattheo could tell you weren’t going to last very long, but he had a lot planned for you nevertheless. He waved his hand out, urging you to speak as he kept eating his breakfast.
“Y-yea,” You managed, gripping the table with a gasp as Mattheo’s imaginary tongue slid between your folds without warning. “What was that Baby? Sorry I couldn’t hear you.” He teased, eyes watching you like a hawk as you steadied yourself against the table. He bit back a grin as he reveled in the fact that not a single soul but you and him knew what he was making you feel right now.
“Yes,” You said louder, in a breathy voice as he made you feel his tongue repeatedly flicking at your clit below your underwear at an unrelenting pace, before abruptly ending his assault on your nerves with an innocent smile.
“You didn’t think I’d give it to you all at once did you?” He chuckled at your desperation, looking forward to the day ahead of him even more so now with your shiny eyes looking to him as a pout formed on your lips.
“Eat, I know you’re hungry,” Mattheo spoke calmly and sweetly, but with the edge of dominance that let you know he was planning on continuing this game until you couldn’t think properly. You huffed and scowled at him as you grabbed for his muffin, stealing it from him as he watched how you were growing frustrated with a content smile.
~~~~
He started off slowly in your first class of the day. He knew you weren’t great at Potions and knew you’d absolutely Crucio him if you failed this pop quiz. So he’d opted for relaxing you with the feeling of kisses along your neck and making it feel as though he was squeezing your shoulders comfortingly while correcting your mistakes from the back of your thoughts before you wrote them. He’d ever so slightly drag his imaginary teeth across your sweet spot every once in a while, teasing you as you jumped slightly before continuing on with his sweet pecks. Leaving you soaked and wanting more as you began to wiggle in your seat and huff in annoyance, something Mattheo found oh so pleasing.
~~~~
History of Magic, however, was a different story. As soon as Professor Binns began speaking, you felt Mattheo’s large calloused hands running up the fronts of your thighs as though he was knelt before you. For a second your eyes fell below the desk, watching the empty air thinking for sure you’d find a second Mattheo as his phantom fingers slipped beneath the hem of your underwear. Mattheo bit at his knuckle with a smile as he watched you looking for his nonexistent hands, squirming in your seat less than a foot away from him. “I wish I could feel you for real Princess,”
The sudden feeling of bites, and kisses, and licks almost made you forget not to speak, catching yourself just in time to thinking clearly for him to hear, “Hypothetically you could.” Mattheo giggled at you, shaking his head mockingly as he leant on his arms, smiling at you like a sweetheart who wasn’t planning on relentlessly teasing you all day.
“Wake me up before the bell Princess.” Mattheo sighed with a fake yawn and a wink before closing his eyes and focusing solely on your pleasure. Mattheo saw himself in the room, as though he was a ghost out of his own body, kneeling before you under the desk like worship. He wasted no time in delving into you, sucking at your clit and making you jolt forward in your seat next to him. A boyish grin grew on his real face beside you as he smiled into your legs in your mind.
His tongue maintained a brutal pace as you wiggled in your seat, going back and forth from sucking and flicking with his tongue, making out with your pussy until he was certain you were going to explode. Removing the sensation before quickly shoving two of his imaginary fingers into you, forcing you to audibly gasp as Mattheo hummed approvingly beside you. It felt like you were actually being stretched around air below the lace of your underwear as a shiver ran down your spine. Mattheo slowly stimulated your g-spot from the back of your mind, making it increasingly difficult to remain quiet and still as your walls clenched around nothing. Your thighs instinctively came together to rub against each other but the feeling of his nonexistent fingers remained, not quite enough to push you over the edge on their own.
“Oh, are you tired of me already Princess? I guess I can give you a break then.” And with that, the sensation stopped. A desperate whine of a “No” almost falling from your lips as your mind spoke it to it’s invader, huffing and taking shallow breaths. Mattheo cracked an eye to watch you as you leant back in your chair, brows furrowed and arms crossed with a pout on your face, he was close.
~~~~
In Transfiguration he didn’t even warn you. As you were sat beside Mattheo like always, almost forgetting the game at play, suddenly Mattheo found his way into your mind again, making you feel filled with his phantom fingers once more. Mattheo remained focused ahead, showing no signs of remorse as you let out a frustrated hmph that made his dick twitch in his pants while you eyed his side profile angrily.
“Patience Gorgeous…” He spoke in a slow, dominant voice in your thoughts as he side eyed you, writing something down you’d entirely missed. “How about this Baby,” He started in a soothing voice, slowly drawing his imaginary fingers in and out of you, “If you can get through the rest of class without coming, I’ll get you out of here and give you a proper fuck. What d’ya say?”
You were nodding your head eagerly before he was even finished, “tsk tsk, I know you know the rules Baby,” You narrowed your eyes at him defiantly as Mattheo halted his actions on your notes paper, eyeing you with raised eyebrows like a challenge, just waiting for you to disobey him. The feeling of his other hand gripping at your thigh distracted you as your eyes shot to where it should have been before giving in, biting your lip to hold back a moan at his tightening phantom grip.
“I can, yes,” You whispered in a voice you weren’t quite sure he even heard at first. “You can what?” He whispered back in a cockily smooth, silky voice that sent shivers down your spine and directly to your core. You gave him pleading eyes as you brought your bottom lip between your teeth, silently begging him to just take your answer as your eyes began to water.
He swore he was about to cum in his pants at the sight of you all needy over him manipulating your mind in just the right way. Mattheo gave you a mocking little laugh before giving in to you as he always would. He loved to think he was in control but even Mattheo knew he’d give you absolutely anything you wanted if you gave him those eyes. Before you had time to react, he was diving into your mind again with no warning.
“Gods, you’re such a pathetic little girl aren’t you?” You almost screamed in pleasure as you felt the fingers of his other hand suddenly rubbing fast circles on your sensitive clit while the other pounded into you at a brutal pace. “You wish these were my real fingers don’t you Princess? Wish everyone could hear the mess I’m making of you?” You nodded weakly as you rested your head on the desk in front of you, his unrelenting attack of your nerves making it difficult to concentrate on being discreet.
“Don’t worry, I wish it was too. Do you want my cock next Gorgeous?” You couldn’t respond to him, any and all thoughts too jumbled to not accidentally slip past your lips. “I know you do, because you’re a needy little thing, but you’re getting the real deal, not some day dream Darling, so you’ll just have to wait.”
You whimpered into the wood of the desk as you rubbed your thighs together, throbbing and clenching around nothing before looking up to see Mattheo watching you with a hand beneath the desk. You were desperate for a real touch and wanted his hand on you and not him and he knew it. He knew you wouldn’t risk reaching for him and getting him caught also, so he reveled in your teary eyes watching him palm his leaking dick over his jeans.
Suddenly, just as the bell rang, the assault of your senses stopped as Mattheo jumped to gather yours and his things, messily shoving it in both of your bags at random before grabbing for your wrist and tugging you out the door behind him. Your legs were weak and wobbling as you clung to his hand and let him pull you into a classroom only three corridors away from the packed hallway of students transitioning into their next class.
He shoved you through as he slammed the door with a muttered locking and silencing charm before roughly grabbing at your waist. Mattheo yanked you up to him as you subconsciously wrapped your legs around him, meeting his eyes before he practically threw you onto the closest desk. His lips attacked your neck forcing out a pornographic moan from you, grateful to finally be touched.
He wasted no time in roughly ripping at your underwear, tearing them in the middle as his other hand worked to remove his belt and free himself from his boxers. He haphazardly shoved his pants and boxers halfway down his thighs as his dick bounced out against his stomach making him hiss. Mattheo grabbed at the back if your neck, tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling your lips to his in a passionate kiss.
You both were breathing heavily into eachothers mouths as his tongue forced itself against yours, immediately claiming dominance and sighing in satisfaction. Without warning Mattheo’s hands moved to grip your hips, and jolted you forward onto his red, leaking dick. Forcing breathy moans from the both of you as your lips ghosted against each others. “Fucking hell you’re fucking dripping for me.”
“Please fuck me Matty,” You begged, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling yourself off the desk as his arms immediately snaked around your waist to hold you on his dick. You were tired of his teasing and tired of his games, you wanted control of it and whether he realized it or not, he’d handed it to you.
“Anything for you my Princess,” he whispered, placing a delicate kiss to your lips which quickly turned heated as he began to ram into you. Your fingers got lost in his curls as you mindlessly bucked against him with his pace, arching over the table against him. Mattheo chased your lips with his as they left him making you giggle and tug at his hair forcing a groan from the back if his throat.
In a flash he’d forced your back flat against the table, hovering over you with dark eyes and his signature smile. “I want a kiss Baby” He said slowly and sweetly, in direct contrast of the way he was driving into your g-spot over and over. He smashed his lips into yours, nipping at your bottom lip as your nails dug into his back through his shirt. You clenched around him as your legs shook with the table, your vision going slightly blurry with euphoria as you came undone below him.
You let your head fall back as Mattheo lead a trail of kisses and bites up and down your neck as his movements became sloppy and his moans grew louder. You rode out your high as he stuttered above you, clutching at the edge of the desk that bounced against the floor, biting at your neck to quiet himself as he filled you with his cum.
“Fuck Matty,” You sighed as he chuckled and looked up to meet your eyes, his hair was damp with sweat and his curls hung over his eyes as he looked at you with a shockingly innocent smile.
~~~~
I honestly love this so much🫣
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