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hungryk9 · 8 months

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(Thankfully) successful vegan chocoflan for friends. The collective+Sparknote recipe in my notebook was of 3 different recipe sources, but the meat of it was from Dora's Table. https://dorastable.com/vegan-chocoflan/comment-page-1/#comment-13538 Notes

Made in a 10-cup bundt pan (10-12 was rec'd).

For some reason, my ratio of flan:chocolate cake came out 4:1. I followed the recipe, so I'm not sure what happened. I'd be more mindful if I do this recipe again in the future since I'd want the 1:1 ratio. I'd consider halving the flan/doubling the chocolate cake, and pour any excess into a small mold — but ultimately just really observe the proportions and keep a watchful eye on the amount that's poured into the cake pan.

I foolishly forgot to grease my bundt pan. Thankfully after some superficial knife cuts around the cake edge-pan, then letting the pan sit in a waterbath for a random 5 minutes to help with release, and then flipping it onto the plate+shaking the pan+plate a little vigorously till I felt a THWUMP — the release THANKFULLY came out as a whole!!! The modern Nordic Ware bundt pans are naturally non-stick but in the future I would still grease the pan, haha. To avoid a mini heart attack.

I went with a traditional heating of granulated sugar+bit of water to pour caramel into the bundt pan first (before the flan and cake batter). I'm glad I did since it gave the flan top the traditional gorgeous caramel coloring.

I eyed out about 1.3 teaspoons of tumeric to color the flan, giving it a pseudo-eggy appearance. I added it into the blender step. And nope, it's not detectable tastewise in the end. Alternatively, one could use yellow food coloring at one's discretion.

The recipe calls for 15oz of coconut cream but the cans I encountered were 13.5oz. (Ultimately I went with Trader Joe's high-fat content at ~114g vs two other brands that clock in at 81/84g. Higher fat lends to richer taste.) I already had a pint of soy-heavy-cream, which I used as a supplement. The coconut cream is still liquid at room-temp, but I have a very-very-very vague memory that it could thicken up in the fridge. See my note on agar agar powder next.

I added 1.2 teaspoons of agar agar powder to the step of heating coconut milk. I was really paranoid about the flan holding up for the flip release+subway commute to my friend's. I tried asking the recipe author if she thought agar agar would still work after baking & for chilling, plus I also tried Google'ing if agar agar powder would be ineffective due to baking at 350F, but ultimately I think it helped for the flan to hold together, for me. Phew.

After baking, the cake sat at room-temp for 1 hour before I put it into the fridge for 8 hours before flipping it. I just left it for that amount of time due to sleep, so I can't say for certain if it'd be fine the same way after 4 hours. It shooouuuld be fine.

You could subtly taste the coconut cream in the "flan". Not a bad thing, just a note. The flan could use more vanilla extract? I used 2.8t.

Remove the hardened caramel at the bottom of the cake pan by soaking in hot water. Use the wooden end of a kitchen utensil (like the tiny Le Creuset spatula) to use force to slide the still-hardened-but-loosened caramel.

#homecooking #vegan #chocoflan #flan #chocolate #cake #chocolate cake #impossible cake #vegan flan #vegan chocolate cake #vegan chocoflan #bundt #bundt pan #Nordic Ware #dessert

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passionateaboutbaking · 5 months

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Cranberry Christmas Coconut Flan ... delicate and delicious!

Cranberry Christmas Coconut Flan … Simple, delicious and delicate, this vegan gluten-free set pudding is light and full of flavour. It’s a quick simple, stove top recipe that doesn’t take more than 15 minutes to make. Cranberries lend it a delicate pink hue and added texture. I love the way the flan sets, almost assuming and such a surprise to see the clean release from the mini bundt tin.…

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#agar agar #coconut milk #coconut milk pudding #cranberries #dessert #eggless #flan #food #Healthy #Panna Cotta #Recipe #recipes #set pudding #simple #vegan flan #vegan panna cotta #vegan pudding #vegetarian

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vegan-nom-noms · 13 days

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Vegan Creme Caramel

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morethansalad · 1 month

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Vegan Banh Flan (Vietnamese Creme Caramel)

#vegan #desserts #vietnamese cuisine #southeast asian cuisine #banh flan #flan #agar agar #coconut milk #coconut condensed milk #cornstarch #vanilla #lemon #coconut sugar

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blueish-bird · 9 months

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thank you vegan flan thank you everyone who makes vegan/dairy-free versions of desserts I love you

#meposting #just had the vegan flan ive been saving its very good

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tinykitchenvegan · 8 months

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Vegan Flan

#vegan #food #recipe #dessert #what vegans eat

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as-warm-as-choco · 10 months

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Edward's infamous flan de Resembool (helmet is a must have for this recipe!?)

did a cartoonish spit take W my vegan milk at the library readin this omake T_T anyone wanna start a manga club I can't be laughing alone at these lmao

#Fullmetal alchemist manga #Hiromu arakawa #alphonse elric #Edward elric #fullmetal alchemist #Fma manga #Fma brotherhood #Follow The Elric Brothers' cooking channel for more traditional dishes with a touch of alchemyyy

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trivialbob · 4 months

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During our vacation Sheila hired a guide to take us to really local places to try some food and drink. Ours was a walking tour. Golf cart and bike tours are available too. Next year I want to try the bike version.

We started the evening taking a taxi from our place at the north end of Isla Mujeres to the La Gloria neighborhood. We met up with our guide, Jose.

(much more after the cut)

First stop: Dessert! Jose explained that people were getting too full by the end of the tours and skipping dessert. So now he likes to start with that. I don't like sweets and desserts a lot, so this was definitely the way for me to eat some -- on an empty stomach.

We entered a small courtyard in front of a home. There was a stove and griddle and one four-top table under a tin roof. Our hosts served us flan. It was excellent. This is probably the first time I've finished any dessert in years.

Second stop: This was at a food cart parked in the street. A handwritten sign said "Hay Tamales," which I think means "Here are tamales."

We were served elote, a Mexican street corn salad. The portion was decent-sized and the elote was like comfort food. Had Sheila or I made this at home, it would be the sort of thing I would have left on the stove so I could snack on it all night long.

Had there not been five local people waiting in line, I probably would have broken open the foam cup to lick the bottom after I'd spooned out everything else.

Third stop: Panaderia Emmanuel Bakery. Jose explained that Mexican bakeries are open in the evening, unlike the American ones that open early in the morning. We had our choice of various fresh buns, donuts, and pastries. Sheila and I each selected an item. They were tasty and large. Thank goodness we were able to take home what we couldn't eat. Had we finished the bakery items, we would have been too full to go to the next four stops. (Here is the bakery in a Google Maps picture.)

Fourth stop: This was at a small, outdoor kitchen under a canvas roof. Two women were cooking food. We were served pork carnitas on a fresh bakery roll. I really liked this place. The sandwich was huge, and for real I started to wonder if I could keep eating at the remaining sites. I brought home half of the carnitas that night.

Fifth stop: We entered a small, private bar. It was beautiful inside; my phone just didn't capture a decent shot of it. The pandemic killed business here. The place now is open only for small, special events.

We were here for a mezcal tasting. First we sipped Fandango, accompanied by lime and salt. I loved it. Next we sampled some house mezcal, infused with honey, vanilla, and cinnamon. Here's where things get more interesting. We drank this one with some pinches of a mixture of black pepper, salt, and crickets.

Some might think eating crickets would require a healthy dose of mezcal first. But our drink portions weren't of a size that could make me abandon all caution and agree to something like bungee jumping or swimming with great white sharks. Sheila and I didn't hesitate to try the black, powdery mix.

I would have been fine ending the tour right here, assuming I could keep drinking mezcal with the sides, including the non-vegan one.

Sixth stop: This was at a small, yet traditional bar and restaurant named Chile & maíz. The night we did our tour was the start of Carnival. Many people had gone to the north end of the island for the celebration, leaving this restaurant empty for the evening.

The cook prepared for us chicken tinga sopes. Could the food keep getting better that night? So far, yes. The chicken stew on a fried tortilla was delicious. And filling. Sheila and I got a to-go box for some of it.

Apparently Chile & maíz is fairly new. I checked Google Maps to get a daylight picture (below). The logs that will eventually support a sloped roof are visible, but nothing else indicating a restaurant is being constructed. What we saw last night was very well done.

Seventh stop: Jose brought us to Daria's Delivery. The chef is staring up a new business. So far it is a kitchen on the second floor of a building. There is a commercial cook top, a table with four chairs, and one green bird in a birdcage. As we entered, the chef's adorable young daughter (maybe 4-years-old) came out from the living quarters right behind the table and greeted us with a big smile.

Our final dish of the night was chile relleno which is one of my favorite Mexican foods. Daria's didn't let me down. Very tasty.

During the tour we got to know more about Jose, his restaurant experiences, and his family. At the end he walked with us for a bit. He explained how the food tour supports the local cooks.

The tour was really fun because there's no way at all Sheila and I would have found all these small places on our own. It's not like they all had neon signs.

We ended up quite full. Walking around the La Gloria neighborhood helped burn off a few of those calories. I'm sure I'll return to Isla at some time, and this will be on my to-do list.

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writemekpop · 2 years

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Birthday Baby | Lee Taeyong

Summary: It’s your birthday night, but you’re not feeling too sexy. Taeyong knows just how to get you going.

Genre: Established relationship AU, pregnant!Y/n

Word Count: 0.6k

“Are you ready for your present?” Taeyong called, from the other side of the door.

“Yes!” you exclaimed.

“Okay, birthday girl, come in!”

Your boyfriend Taeyong was sprawled out on the bed, surrounded by brightly coloured balloons. “It’s me! I’m the present,” he said, grinning widely.

You smiled. “I got that, thanks.”

Taeyong beckoned you to the bed. “Use me and abuse me, my queen. You can be the boss tonight.”

You bit your lip, gripping Taeyong’s shirt. “You know I love your body, but…” you slumped down onto the mattress. “Work was hard, and I’m so bloated today. A kid on the subway thought I was a whale. I mean, I can’t blame him, I’m like a million months pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” Taeyong sighed. He rubbed your tummy in gentle circles, sending small sparks shooting across your skin.

“The worst thing is, I can’t even drink on my birthday!” You said. “But at least I have an excuse to eat for two. Alright! Time for some cake!” You looked at your boyfriend expectedly.

“About that…” Taeyong said, “There’s no cake. I’m sorry. Remember how the OBGYN said you need to watch your weight?”

Your eyes went wide in shock. “No cake!?”

“Who wants a cake when you have a vegan, gluten-free birthday flan… oh who am I kidding, it’s awful.” Taeyong pouted. “It tastes like cardboard. Sorry… I got hungry in the car, so I ate some.”

You lay down and shut your eyes, sighing dramatically. “I hate being pregnant,” you moaned. “I wanna go back to when I was hot and tight. Like that spring break where I nailed the entire NYU baseball team. That was fun.” You giggled.

Taeyong shook his head, chucking. “Actually, as your boyfriend, I’d rather we didn’t reminisce?” He took your hand and kissed your palm softly. “I think you’re hot and tight right now. You’re carrying my son, what’s hotter than that?”

You gave him a small smile. “That’s sweet, Yong. But I don’t feel sexy at all.”

Taeyong licked his lips, his near-black eyes raking down your frame. “How about I make you feel sexy? As your boyfriend, that is my main job, after all.”

You rubbed your hands together excitedly. “What did you have in mind?”

Taeyong touched his lips, thinking. “A movie?”

Your shoulders slumped. “Not in the mood.”

Taeyong slid closer to you and placed his hand on your thigh. “How about a massage?”

You smiled, watching how his fingers grazed the hem of your skirt. “Warmer…”

Taeyong’s brown eyes lit up. “A candle lit bubble bath?”

You shivered with delight. “Even warmer.”

Taeyong’s lips curved into a smirk. “We’ll use that jasmine bath bomb, and…” he leaned in towards your ear. “I’ll even get in with you.”

You gasped. “That’s it! You’re on fire, baby!”

Taeyong cheered. He held your face and pressed his mouth onto yours, kissing you intensely.

He pulled away too soon, leaving you chasing his lips. He chuckled.

“Wait right here.” Taeyong jumped up and ran off into the bathroom.

You sighed contentedly. “That’s my man.”

—

MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

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pretentiouswreckingball · 11 months

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ask game 🫡 "the debacle of garlic bread and gay marriage"

Oh Moon that is SUCH a good title!!! okay. let me see.

So the thing is, Sirius is about to propose to Remus.

He's so in love, they've been together since high school, they live together and everything is going smoothly for them. So Sirius thinks is the right time to propose.

So, he plans the evening, prepared Remus' favourite board games to play, cooks Remus' favourite meal (vegan lasagna and flan for dessert), he even buys the best wine he can find and some nice flowers. Everything is settled. Now, where he's going to hide the ring?? he can't keep it in his pocket no, that is lame and Sirius Black is anything but lame so no. It has to be a surprise, it has to be special.

In movies, people hide the ring in the food. The thing is, he can't do that since both the lasagna and the flan are already done, but what about a side dish? that would be unexpected and therefore, special. So Sirius, against his better judgement, bakes some balls of garlic bread and hides the ring in there.

The dinner goes amazingly. Remus loves all Sirius had prepared for him, they chat and eat and have such a good time Sirius kinda forgets why they are having this dinner in the first place until he noticed Remus hasn't touched the garlic bread balls.

He insists Remus to try the bread, just a little bite and Come on Moony, try it and I promise you're going to love what comes next but Remus says he's full and Maybe later Sirius I truly am full but Sirius is relentless to the point that they get into a row, and Remus gets so exasperated that he takes the three garlic bread balls all at once, barely chews them and swallows them without a second thought.

Sirius is clearly flabbergasted and Remus asks him what comes next. Sirius snaps out of it and naturally, goes into a fit of laughter so intense he falls off his chair and rolls over the carpet, clutching his stomach. When he's no longer gasping for air, he stands up, takes one look at Remus' confused face and pats his shoulder as he walks away, saying "Let's try this again in 48 hrs, shall we?"

fic title game

#Oh lord this was fucking hilarious #I had so much fun writing this shitshow #thanks 4 asking moons<3 #Fantastic Mrs Moon #crack treated seriously #fic title game #loops plays a game #loops' writing #wolfstar #remus x sirius

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queennicoleinboots · 7 months

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Taco Thanksgiving Shopping (entertainment purposes only)

Count Vanilla Manilla, Lindsay, and I were at Publix shopping for the essentials of a Thanksgiving meal with tacos because that's what King Chocolate-Covered Gummy Bear said his sister loved to eat. We also had to take into account that there were vegans at the reception, which is the original reason we were sent to the store.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel flew smack dab into us. We told him about our great bullshit adventures of this year, and he mentioned that he and his wife, Coraline were doing well and that they were in a spiritual war.

Count Vanilla Manilla was rattling off ingredients from his long list after things were, in his opinion, getting too political: corn tortillas, black beans, pinto beans, great white beans, brown rice, white rice, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, jalapenos, onions, cilantro, serrano peppers, Annie's vegan macaroni and cheese, Daiya cheddar cheeze shreds, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, orange bell pepper, green bell pepper, limes, ground pepper, green tomatillos, red tomatillos, Tabasco, Tofurkey, potatoes, green beans, vegan flan, and whole golden kernel corn.

"Are we getting more margarine?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh yes, I forgot," Count Vanilla Manilla said.

"But we are not getting Blue Bonnet," I clarified.

"No, but are we getting Smart Balance with olive oil?" Colonel Mac asked.

"No," Lindsay said.

"Really? That's the kind I usually get for Mr. Williamson and his wife," I said.

Lindsay then stared at me as we were picking up all necessary items from produce: spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, serrano peppers, potatoes, jalapenos, onions, cilantro, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, orange bell pepper, green bell pepper, limes, green tomatillos, green beans, and red tomatillos. She said, "I heard Smart Balance wasn't very balanced at all."

"Everyone's been saying that lately," I said.

Lindsay sighed. "Let's go to the margarine aisle. All of life's questions will be answered there," she said.

So we travelled clear on the other side of the store to the margarine aisle.

She pulled out the Smart Balance Margarine with olive oil from the refrigerator and read the ingredients. "Vegetable Oil Blend (Canola, Palm, Extra Virgin Olive, And Flaxseed Oils), Water, Less Than 2 Percent Of: Salt, Pea Protein, Natural And Artificial Flavors, Sunflower Lecithin, Vitamin A Palmitate, Beta Carotene (Color), Vitamin D, Monoglycerides Of Vegetable Fatty Acids (Emulsifier), And Potassium Sorbate, Lactic Acid, TBHQ and Calcium Disodium EDTA (to Protect Freshness)."

"Oh yeah, that stuff is evil!" I said.

"Precisely," Lindsay said.

Count Vanilla Manilla looked up what TBHQ was on his smartphone. "Tert-Butylhydroquinone (TBHQ, tertiary butylhydroquinone) is a synthetic aromatic organic compound which is a type of phenol. It is a derivative of hydroquinone, substituted with a tert-butyl group," he read.

"It's an oil we have no business eating it in the first place," I said.

"Exactly!" Lindsay shouted.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel said, "Wow. What the fuck? Thank Goodness I don't get that. But I must check my butter at home to ensure that there is no TBHQ in it again. I shall return." He then flew out of the store.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crickets with Angel wings chirped as they flew through Publix. When we walked by the free sample booth, a FreeLee the Banana Girl video popped up on the screen.

https://youtu.be/ZRuytGHlpNc

Too long didn't watch (or maybe you did): It is about what she eats on a high-carb fruitarian diet... with a bunch of sugar.

Lindsay rolled her eyes and moved on with her life.

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Makolai the Great Arc Angel then screamed as he flew to the margarine aisle.

Everyone in the store looked at Makolai the Great Arc Angel and gave him their undivided attention.

"Fucking hell! Smart Balance invaded my refrigerator! So what if it is on sale?! It is poisoning humankind! I must burn it! NICOLE! Open the glass door with the Smart Balance margarine in it!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted.

I opened the glass door with the Smart Balance margarine in it.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel shot blue death rays out of his eyes and burned all products related to Smart Balance margarine and screamed.

Lindsay screamed. Everyone in the store screamed. The cast of PeeWee Herman also screamed. Apparently, they needed to go grocery shopping, too.

"But remember. Save the Earth Balance margarine that's soy free. It's legit," Lindsay said in a normal voice. She then grabbed the Earth Balance Soy Free margarine and put it in the cart.

The Grinch then hobbled over and screamed. "Smart Balance is a balance of over-price and chemical deathhhhhh," he said. Then he hobbled away.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel then announced, "If we were not making vegan Taco Mac with Count Vanilla Extract..."

Lindsay, Count Vanilla Extract, The Grinch, Sir Paul the Goat, Smeagull, the cast of PeeWee Herman, and everyone in the store screamed. "Taco Mac with Count Vanilla" was still the phrase of the last three years.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel then continued, "Then I would prefer butter or a buttery spread."

"Agreed!" Count Vanilla Extract, Lindsay, other non-vegans, and I said with authority.

"Wait? I'm Vanilla Extract now?" Count Vanilla Extract asked as he raised his eyebrow.

"Not that I use much butter, but I know better than to use margarine on my own account. It is evil," Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted. "And yes. I dub thee Extract. It's Thanksgiving, a holiday of using vanilla extract. Manilla is not sufficient for your caliber."

Sir Paul the Goat bleated loudly. "But it rhymed!" he shouted.

"In that case, am I granted the powers of baker?" Count Vanilla Extract asked as he walked around Publix with Makolai the Great Arc Angel.

"Absolutely!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with a salesangel smile as he pointed his two index fingers at Count Vanilla Extract dramatically. "And a baker's cap and apron to boot!"

"Oh boy! Grant me baking powers!" Count Vanilla Extract spoke with excitement.

"As you wish," Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with a huge smile before he chanted in a dark angelic language.

All shoppers were watching with awe.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel continued to chant as Publix was getting darker.

Count Vanilla Extract was smiling widely, and his teeth were getting whiter. He growled with excitement.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel continued to chant before he sang and danced to Lazy Town's song, "Cooking by the Book." https://youtu.be/ZD71JeX4Vk0?feature=shared

He was definitely one of the citizens of Lazy Town before he moved here.

OH SHIT!

Makolai the Great Arc Angel stopped everything after he sang "Caaaaaaaaaake" for just a liiiittle too long.

Count Vanilla Extract turned into a gray cub who wore the same outfit as the Pitsbury Doughboy.

Everyone gasped.

Makolai the Great Arc Angel looked over and gasped in horror. "OH SHIT!!!! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I held that note for just a liiiiiittle too long. Oh God I gotta reverse this!" he spoke quickly and frantically.

Count Vanilla Extract looked down at his strong paws and grinned widely. "COOL!!!" he said in a higher-pitched Southern accent.

"You're okay with this?" Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with his eyebrow raised.

"YEAH!" Count Vanilla Extract said as he jumped out of his chair. "I can bake! I can bake! Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart!" he started to skip. "And I'm wearing an apron, motherfuckers!" He skipped around the store and growled cheerfully. His white apron swished.

"Awwwww!!!!" everyone in the store said.

"Vanilla Mac is so cute," I said.

He turned around, skipped over to me, and looked up to me. "I like that name more than Count Vanilla Extract. I am a baker, not a count. I was a vampire Cub, so I had to be a Count," he spoke with a cute cub growl.

"YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted. "Keep going."

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," Vanilla Mac said.

Everyone said, "Awwwwwwww."

"You are welcome!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted.

The cast of PeeWee Herman, FreeLee the Banana Girl, the Grinch, Seagull, and Paul the Goat screamed.

"And I am Chef Makolai!" the angel said before thunder, lightning, and light came upon him. He transformed into a chef. His wings were as white as Vanilla Ice. He now wore a big white chef's hat, sea green tie with a cupcake on it, a bright white dress shirt, bright white slacks, white shoes, and a long sea green apron. His skin was as white as snow, and he had a fiery red beard. "Happy Thanksgiving, Mother Fuckers!"

"Happy Thanksgiving, Chef Makolai," Vanilla Mac said.

"Thank you. Also, I dub thee Chef Vanilla Mac," Chef Makolai said with a booming voice.

"OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!" Chef Vanilla Mac shouted. "I am only seven after all."

"I have spoken!" Chef Makolai said.

"King Bruce Ice has a story with a title of him speaking," Chef Vanilla Mac said.

"I read that months ago!" Chef Makolai said with excitement.

"That meeting was bonkers. But we really do need to finish this shopping. I don't want him speaking about our tardiness," Lindsay said.

"No thank you. I don't want THAT AS A STORY!" Chef Makolai said.

Lindsay, Chef Makolai, Chef Vanilla Mac, and I continued to shop. We picked up Annie's vegan macaroni and cheese, canned pinto beans, canned black beans, canned great white canned beans, corn tortillas, bags of brown rice, bags of white rice, vegan flan, Tobasco, Tofurkey, and Daiya cheddar cheeze shreds.

Lindsay then looked around the canned vegetable aisle to look for the canned whole golden kernel corn.

I looked frantically for the golden whole kernel corn while Lindsay and Chef Vanilla Mac were absent-mindedly putting the other groceries in the cart.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CORN?” I screamed loudly to the point where the whole store could hear. The ground shook.

Chef Vanilla Mac dropped the list because he was shocked at the random loud volume of my voice. “Chef Vanilla Mac, find the fucking corn now! What the hell?! Where the hell’s my corn, Chef Vanilla Mac?!”

“I don’t know! I'm trying. Stop yelling at me!” Chef Vanilla Mac said as he was crying and slumping his shoulders.

He was slightly shocked when a woman named Karen joined in with her voice. “Yeah, where the fuck is ze corn? You’d think canned corn would be easy to find in a fuckin’ grocery store,” she yelled.

A store associate rushed to the scene in a panic. “What kind of corn are you looking for, ma’am?” she asked.

Another woman sales associate chimed in, “We’d love to help.”

“Golden kernel,” I said.

Everyone in the store was looking for the corn she mentioned. Even Chef Vanilla Mac and Lindsay were in on looking for it. Lindsay lifted Chef Vanilla Mac in her arms as they looked for the corn.

“No, no, not here, dammit,” a fat Karen said. “Son ov a bitch!”

“Not here,” Chef Vanilla Mac said.

“Is this it, ma’am?” one of the customers asked me as she presented me with a can of God-forsaken creamed corn.

Chef Vanilla Mac randomly farted. It smelled like too much tacos.

“No! I said ‘Golden kernel,’ you stupid mother fucker!” I yelled as I got in her dopey-looking face. “I already told you. ‘Golden kernel’ ‘Golden kernel’ Goddammit!”

“Sorry, ma’am, Lord, please help us find this ‘Golden kernel’ corn,” she said.

The fat Karen interrupted, “SHIT WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKASS WOMAN'S CORN?”

“All of a sudden my corn is gone. It has been on this particular aisle for like three fucking years. Why is it gone? Where the fuck is the CORN?” I ranted.

Chef Makolai carried several cans of whole golden kernel corn as he flew to the carts we were pushing. Angels and Doughboys literally sang as he flew. It had no added salt, so the angels and Doughboys sang even louder.

He saved Publix.

"Really Publix saved Publix. It had this corn in stock. And I found it. They didn't move it 40 feet down like the Publix on I-11 did five years ago," Chef Makolai pointed out. He flapped his wings quickly for effect.

"But you still found the corn and saved Publix," I said.

He stared at me. I stared at him. We blinked. There was a moment in which I was honored by his existence.

"Thank God Publix can stay alive. Now can we pleeeasssse get out of here!? I would like to get over this Taco Mac with me series and move on," Chef Vanilla Mac said. "And if I have to listen to chemically-induced ingredients, I am going to scream."

Chef Makolai, Lindsay, the cast of PeeWee Herman, the Grinch, Smeagull, Garfield, and everyone in the store screamed.

"At least no one is reading ingredients. Ugh!" Chef Vanilla Mac said as he ran like the cub he was to the check-out.

"In non-GMO, organic, gluten-free corn tortillas, they have WATER, YELLOW CORN MASA FLOUR ENGINEERED BY DR. ROBOTNIK AND MAMA LUIGI, ORGANIC GUAR GUM, and LIME" I said as I read the ingredients just to troll Chef Vanilla Mac.

Chef Vanilla Mac screamed so loud that everyone else started screaming. "THAT'S ABUSE!!!!!" he shouted.

Paul the Goat even walked back in the store and bleated.

Then we went to check-out because Chef Vanilla Mac just couldn't take anymore.

End Credits: https://youtu.be/Tx-oMRYpH4U?si=eIh7N2AX5dOsEC_q

#youtube #family #thanksgiving #tofurkey #corn #shopping #vegan #tacos

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