#viagra helmet

[topnotchquark]

I need all of you to look at Vale's Misano 2020 helmet real quick.

Yep. That little blue pill is Viagra. With one pill already missing from the blister pack.

Apparently the "La Doppia" refers to the double header San Marino GP that took place due to the pandemic regulations, and also just a reference to "second rounds" I suppose. Aldo Drudi, Vale's long time collaborator and helmet designer said that the viagra was a reference to how he was an old man at 40 and would need some extra energy for the double race.

Apparently when Vale set the fastest lap during FP3 of the Misano GP, the commentators talked about how he was "riding hard".

Also because he's a cheeky little fuck he posted on his ig about how his Mugello 2021 helmet announcing Francesca's pregnancy with their daughter was a natural progression of the Misano 2020 Viagra helmet. It's stupid but who else would dare to do something like this.

#he needs to be in jail #never stopped laughing at his own ass #most unserious man ever #also while looking around for this helmet I found this automotive advice blog from India #and one contributer had written a long emotional post about his retirement and how much Vale meant to them #crazy because I didn't expect him to be big in India #but he is #apparently when Vale was in Delhi for auto expo in 2010 they hung around his hotel lobby to meet him #which was such a cute detail #:) #also I guess my helmet obsession is never ending I suppose #valentino rossi #vale #viagra helmet #misano 2020 #San Marino GP 2020 #motogp

[moonshynecybin]

rosquez is sometimes kind of giving old boyfriend with declining sex drive having to keep up with his sex crazed horny younger boyfriend with extreme stamina who can go twenty times a day if they just get the chance and having to come up with new ways of keeping him entertained but also rediscovering sex for himself? and therefore feeling younger than he has in a looong time. and i love that for them

anybody remember vale’s literal viagra helmet.

#telling. #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez

[starsofmilos]

Pollen Again!? (Adrian Chase x reader)

Request: Oh my God please please please do write a sequel where the reader is the one affected I am begging on my hands and knees 

No need to beg! I will write a part two! Go ahead and read part one here! Thank you guys for the support also this gif real quick...Anyways sex pollen part two!

Masterlist

Warnings: sex, p in v, overstimulation, oral sex (fem receiving), degrading, praise, rough sex, mentions of violence

It had been officially been two months since as you and Adrian call the plant incident happened. 

You had been since studying said plant hoping to find something that can lead to a weakness to help the group kill the aliens you all had been hunting.

“Any progress?” You glanced up seeing Adrian and Christopher in your doorway.

“Not yet..I’m just still confused by all of it. Humans inject it they become sex monsters while when they eat it that’s it. It’s food for them, but a version of viagra for us?”

Adrian sighed sighed sitting alongside you. “I know..by this point I don’t think you’re gonna be able to crack it might as well burn it. We gotta take down another factory soon.”

“Yeah..I can always get a new one. This one is dying anyways.” You groaned giving him a kiss as Chris gagged behind you two. 

“Fuck off dude.” Adrian laughed as you flipped him off.

“You down for some pizza?” You nodded letting him drag you away from your desk. 

“Okay I’ll go place an order, but first I’m gonna go to the restroom.” You smiled as Adrian walked away. 

“You know I’m glad Vig and you are together, but do you both have to be so sappy all the time.” Rolling your eyes, you scoffed grabbing your gas mask.

“Jealous much?” Chris laughed shaking his head,

“No way I am. Are you gonna burn it now?” You nodded.

“Yeah so you should start heading out. We all know what happens if you eat it. Don’t wanna find out if you inhale a huge quantity of it.”

“I kinda do.”

You shook your head grabbing your lighter. “No. Out.” 

Chris scoffed a bit not really thinking much of it, “Oh come on I wanna see it burn it’ll be cool-”

“You can possibly go through what Adrian did and I don’t want anyone else to do so-”

Chris took the lighter from your hand holding it above your head. “Christopher Smith! I am not messing around!”

“Oh come on! I just wanna burn it!” He was chuckling not thinking anything of it. You groaned struggling to get your lighter back before gasping as he stepped back slipping on a piece of paper you had told yourself you were gonna pick up later.

“Careful!!” The lighter fell managing to catch the paperwork you had on the table on fire. You both screamed as you tried to pat it out before yelping as it burned your hand.

Chris tried to put it out after screaming as it spread to the plant on the table. Not thinking twice, you shoved your gas mask on Chris so he didn’t inhale any of the smoke. 

He fought your hands yelling as you pushed him out of the room locking the door. You coughed as the smell of the pollen went throughout the room. 

Grabbing your fire extinguisher, you quickly put the fire out sliding to the floor. Your face was flushed as you panted on the floor barely hearing Adrian and Chris arguing outside. 

Forcing yourself up, you slid the window open airing the room out breathing in the outside air.

Hopefully breathing in the toxins wouldn’t have the same effect as eating the plant-

Right as that thought went through your head, you felt a sharp pain wave through your lower abdomen. 

The door bursted open as Adrian rushed to you wearing his helmet. “Y/N are you okay?! What the fuck happened?!”

You whined as he lifted you up. “Adrian...”

A heat blossomed between your thighs as he gripped you tightly. That familiar feeling of an orgasm rose once Adrian placed you down gently on the couch.

“Y/N I am so sorry!” Chris yelled out as withered on the couch gripping the cushions. Your knuckles turned white.

“Adrian..” You cried out gripping your stomach tightly. 

“Call Harcourt! Now!”

Twenty minutes later, the team sat around the livingroom once more. Everyone was glaring at Chris.

“So she inhaled a huge quantity of the plant! We don’t know what that will do to her! You stupid idiot! You couldn’t just fucking listen!” John yelled out throwing his hands up.

“Y/N is in serious shit now.”

Adrian sighed running his hand down his face, “We don’t know if she has the same symptoms that I did yet. She just kept withering in pain.”

“Fuck..Well one of us has to check then. Damn it why did she put the mask on me!”

“Cause as stupid as you are she didn’t want you to get infected by a plant we don’t know much about!” Emilia groaned.

“Chase can you go check on her?” 

Adrian nodded heading to the door. He only made it down the hallway before stopping hearing an all too familiar noise come from you.

“Fuck! Adrian! Fuck me! Oh god!” You moaned out loudly sobbing into your pillow. He immediately walked back to the living room.

“You guys need to go home. All of you now.” Adrian breathed out opening the front door.

“Is she okay-” Adebayo tried to ask jumping as Adrian cut her off. 

“Go. I will take care of this. She has the same symptoms as me, but worse. Breathing it in I think makes it worse than consuming it. Now all of you go.”

They all nodded, “I will call to check on you both tomorrow okay?”

He nodded at Emilia’s words. “Bro I’m sorry again.” Chris apologized. Adrian shook his head.

“Apologize to her tomorrow.”

Once they all left, Adrian quietly walked into your bedroom watching you intensely grind into your pillow. 

“Please..Please..Fuck!” Your legs shook feeling your cunt clench around nothing. You were drenched in sweat and so desperately in need of a good fucking.

“You okay hun?” You whimpered turning to Adrian with a small pout. 

“Adrian! Need you! Need you! Oh fuck is this what you went through!?” He nodded giving you a small smile. 

“Basically, but you seem to be worser than I was.”

“Oh fuck! I am! I really really am..” His cock twitched at your words. “I need your cock. Need you to fuck me. Adrian please!”

“Don’t worry. I plan on taking good care of you.” He stripped his clothing quickly staggering to the bed.

You ground down on the pillow moaning loudly as your legs quivered seeing his semi hard cock bounce. Adrian climbed into the bed pulling you into a small hug before kissing you deeply.

Adrian didn’t waste much time to move his kisses down enveloping a nipple into his mouth. You cried out. Everything felt intense. It was intense. Your senses were basically dialed up to 100. 

That’s why it didn’t surprise you when you came just from Adrian sucking your nipples. Your back arched as Adrian watched in shock. Drool spilled from his mouth once he pulled away from your chest.

“Did you just?...”

“More! I need more! Adrian please!” You begged him, “I’ll do anything..Anything just give me more..”

He shushed you reassuring you, “You’re so wet..Can I lick your pussy?”

“Eat me out! My pussy needs it!”

“Your pussy?” He tilted his head toying with your chest. 

“No it’s yours! Just please! Need something! Don’t be mean right now!” Your eyes grew teary. Adrian felt a bit of guilt twinge in his chest. That quickly changed to arousal once he saw your cunt glisten with how wet you were.

He scooted down the bed getting eye level with your cunt using his fingers to spread it apart. Adrian moved his head in pushing his tongue inside letting it slip out to move to your perky clit.

You screamed once he began to suckle it. Grabbing his hair, you shoved his face into your cunt grinding down on his face. Adrian raised his arms up gripping your waist to keep you still.

Moaning and whining, Adrian moved his mouth crazily. His teeth nipped one of your lips using his tongue to soothe it over. Your clit was sloppily sucked on. 

He glanced up at you smiling widely once you thrusted your hips forward grinding your hips down. The thought of having you ride his face occurred in his mind, but with how desperate you already were Adrian decided that would have to wait for another time.

A time where you weren’t enhanced by a stupid alien plant. 

“Adrian! I’m gonna cum again!” He nodded against you pulling back to kiss your thigh. 

“That’s okay. Cum as many times as you need too. Fuck you taste so good..” Adrian groaned pushing his tongue in again. 

Legs clamping around Adrian’s head, you cried out cumming on his tongue for the second time tonight.

Adrian kept going circling your clit to prolong your orgasm as he grabbed your legs pushing them apart. He loved you crushing his head between your thighs, but he needed to be able to pull away.

Your sigh of relief made him pull away. Adrian kissed his way up your body smiling above you. His face was drenched in your juices.

“You taste good.”

“Sweet?” You asked him out of curiosity. 

“No you taste like pussy and fuck you are addicting. Can’t believe I haven’t eaten you out before today..When you’re not you know fucked up on alien plant smoke, I’m gonna make you ride my fucking face.”

His words alone caused you to clench around nothing making you needy once more.

Adrian kissed your face anywhere he could reach as he grabbed his cock slapping it against your clit. You cried out grabbing his face.

“Adrian! Please! No teasing not today! It hurts! I need you please!” Adrian pushed in without wasting a further second.

Your mouth fell into a silent scream as he moved deeply. He kissed your forehead moving to your ear to whisper reassurances.

“Sorry..Just like to tease you forgot you’re so desperate right now. A desperate little whore. My desperate whore though.” He grunted speeding up once he felt your legs wrap around his waist.

“I’m not-”

“What you’re not desperate?..Don’t lie sweetheart..I can feel the way you’re clenching around me. Your pussy needs this. Oh fuck it needs my cock..”

Adrian fucked you into the mattress grunting as his face grew red. You moaned babbling nonsense. He had you in a mating press. 

“Gonna fuck my cum in you as many times as it takes tonight Y/N. You’re gonna be so full of my cum and so much is gonna leak out! Oh fuck!”

“I want that! Make me cum! Make me cum!” You clenched down on his hard cock. Adrian kissed you again growling once you began to sob.

“Gonna take it all aren’t you?”

“Yes!”

“Yeah you gonna be a good girl for me? You gonna cum? I want you to cum now.” He groaned throwing his head back. You panted before screaming out scratching his shoulders releasing on his dick. 

Adrian moaned in your ear continuing his pace before crying out himself cumming deep inside of you.

He laid on top of you panting checking you over. Your eyes looked less glazed and you seemed more calm.

“Adrian..” He smiled hearing your small whisper. 

“Yes lovely bee?”

“That’s a horrible pet name..”

“I wanted to try something new even I thought that sounded gross though.” You laughed before wincing as he pulled out. 

“You feeling better?” You nodded whimpering softly feeling his cum leak out of you down to the sheets.

“Oh fuck..” A small cramp passed through your stomach at the thought of being full of Adrian again. Adrian hummed placing a small kiss on you.

“I came three times already I thought it’d be over!” 

“Trust me it’s gonna take more than three times and even after you’re completely exhausted you’ll still want more. Only thing that stopped me last time was seeing you so out of it.” 

“Fuck Adrian..” He moved off of you grabbing your ankles dragging you to the end of the bed. Your ass hung off as Adrian stood up throwing your ankles over his shoulder.

“I love you Y/N. I promise I’ll take care of you okay?”

“Okay..Please more..Fuck I don’t know if I can take any more though!” You sobbed out. Adrian shook his head.

“Should’ve let Chris smell it then..Just had to be a good person and save him from inhaling it.” Adrian gritted his teeth.

He didn’t plan on telling you till he finished helping you, but he was quite honestly a little piss you saved Chris before yourself.

You were such a selfless person always putting others before you, but this was serious. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.

Adrian gripped your thighs placing a small kiss on your ankle shoving his cock deep in you. You gripped the sheets gasping. Adrian decided to release some of his anger and pound the hell out of you.

“FUCK!” Your breast bounced with every thrust. His hands made quick work to squeeze them stretching you out. Adrian growled as you scratched his arms.

“Fucking needy whore. Did you want me to fuck you like this? Is that why you breathed in all of that stupid plant?”

“No! I wanted to protect Chris! I-Fuck!” His thighs smacked against the back of your legs hastily.

“God I love you, but that was so stupid of you. You’re lucky you’re fucking cute. You’re fucking adorable and my pussy is s-so good..” He gasped dropping your legs to lap back on top of you shoving you up the bed.

“Legs around my waist now.” You obeyed him instantly whining as he grabbed your ass hauling you up to clutch you to his chest. 

Adrian sat on the bed moving you on his lap making you ride him. He slapped your ass one hand guiding your hips the other groping your ass.

“You’re gonna cum riding my dick like the needy whore you are!”

“Yes! God yes! Tell me I’m a good girl! Please! I’ll be a needy whore, but I need to hear I’m good too! Please Adrian!”

“You’re good..So good for me..My good selfless girl..Gonna give you my dick all night so you can feel better cum again..Now.”

You sobbed out slamming down him once more. Adrian moaned as you clenched down on him milking him for all he was worth. You panted slowly still moving on him.

“I don’t know if I can go again..So sore already, but I feel it..” Adrian nodded in understanding pulling you off. “Also I’m sorry I worried you..”

“I know you are..it’s okay..I know why you did. You just freaked me out..I’m gonna fuck you though..Not only because you’re my girlfriend and I will kill anyone else who tries to do what I do with you, but because you need it.”

You moaned as he pulled out moving you on your hands and knees. He pushed back in this time planning to cum again. 

“I was thinking I’ll cum one more time in you then eat you out again.” You whined pushing against him. 

“Adrian..I’m so sensitive..”

“I know, but you need to cum. I know you do sweetheart..So let me take care of you. I know you can handle it..I’ve always wanted to see how many times I can push you. Make you my cockdrunk girl.”

Adrian thrusted into you using his hand to reach around you to rub your clit. You grabbed his arm scratching it from the overstimulation.

“Wait! Wait! OH FUCK!! FUCK!” You came within seconds of his fingers on your clit. Face planting into the pillow, Adrian looked in shock. Since you were so sensitive, your clit was basically an instant cum button.

He continued his thrust smiling still rubbing your clit. You made small grunts grinding down on his hand taking his hard thrust.

Eyes rolling back into your head, you babbled nonsense clenching down on Adrian. “So good..Cock so good..Adrian feel s’good..”

“F-fuck f-fuck!!! FUCK!!!!!” You yelped as Adrian gripped your hips deeply pressing himself against you. He slipped out watching his cum drip down your thighs once more.

“God even after seeing it earlier..Still fucking hot..” He licked his cum off your thigh using his fingers to push them inside of you. You jumped moaning loudly from Adrian’s fingering your sore pussy.

“You good?”

“Y-yes..”

“Do you need more?”

You stood quiet grinding back on his hand as a response. Adrian hummed biting the curve of your ass laughing a bit.

“Alright Y/N..love you..”

“Love you too..” You croaked out jumping as he used his thumb to rub your clit. 

The next afternoon, you awoke feeling more refreshed than ever, but also exhausted. Adrian slept next to you like a log completely out. You kissed his cheek before moving to get off the bed yelping as you fell straight down.

“Oh shit..” You hoarsely whispered out. Your legs gave out completely on you. Thighs covered in hickeys and pussy sore. “Adrian..”

He sighed in his sleep. You whimpered using your strength to lift yourself up a bit hoping to get his attention.

“Adrian!” 

You yelled as he jumped out of bed looking around for a threat. “What happened!? Who’s there!??”

“Adrian! It’s me!” He looked down shocked to see you on the floor.

“H-help..I can’t move my legs..” Adrian stifled a laugh seeing your small pout. “Adrian please! I have to pee!” 

Adrian nodded getting up carrying you away to the restroom. Afterwards, you both laid in bed in silence. Adrian ran his hand through your hair kissing your forehead.

“Can’t believe I literally fucked you so hard you couldn’t walk the next day.”

“Don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry! it’s just funny!”

“It’s all the stupid fucking plant’s fault!”

“I know it is..”

“UGH!! I swear I am never working on it again!”

“Good. I was actually gonna ask you not too..”

“I won’t! This is all Peacemakers idiotic fault!” Adrian chuckled at your words kissing you.

“God I love you, but we really do need to stay away from this dumb plant.”

“I’m gonna kill Peacemaker.”

“I’m just happy I got to eat you out multiple times-”

“Adrian!” He grinned seeing the flustered look on your face. You turned over away from him. Adrian wrapped his arms around you spooning you from behind.

“I’m just teasing..You did worry me so next time let him breath it in. It was his mistake anyways. I told him to apologize to you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I just want you safe at all times and he put you in danger yesterday. Honestly was the first time I wanted to punch Peacemaker.”

“That’s..wow Adrian.”

“What can I say you mean a lot to me..But the plants does have it’s perks..I don’t ever want me or you getting it in our system again.”

You laughed nodding along. “I couldn’t agree more..I love you Adrian.”

He yawned grinning. “I love you too..”

#adrian chase #fanfiction #adrian chase x reader #vigilante fanfiction #adrian chase x you #vigilante x reader #fanfic #vigilante peacemaker #peacemaker #adrian chase peacemaker #adrian chase smut

[sauvhffp]

𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦.

"why'd you come?" perplexed at the sight of him outside my window—my house—under the rain pouring heavily, holding a plastic bag, on his motorcycle without wearing a helmet-

"what the fuck are you doing outside my house?" my voice cracks, unsure of what to feel. because, honestly, what could you feel in this situation? how would anyone react if their ex showed up soaked from head to toe outside their house?

"... brooks couldn't come." even through the phone, even in the heavy rain, his voice is so clear compared to the heavy pour of rain—it irritates me. "he told me you were sick—and that no one was there to take care of you."

why do you care? my heart clenches, aches. why does he care?

"that isn't any of your business." i say in a dismissive, sick, tone. paired with a cough. i turn away and take off my glasses, placing it on the nightstand and laying on my bed, pulling up the covers to cover my burning body. "i can take care of myself just fine. go home, santiago—"

"intaking unhealthy meals isn't taking care of yourself, viagra." i frown. does he think i'm that incapable of taking care of myself? i mean, i've only eaten instant for the couple of days wes couldn't come, but that doesn't count! "don't play dumb, you're smart enough to know that."

"i'm not playing dumb." i scowl, rolling on my side, lifting the covers in an attempt to cease my body shivering from the cold. it just so happens that my heater also broke, so now i'm enduring a cold temperature with a cold. yay. "i know enough to take care of myself, santiago."

"if i needed help, you would be the last person i'd ask it for." i spat. this whole situation made my head ache worse. pair it up with an asshole criticizing your way of living outside your house, and now you have a migraine. great. "end of conversation. go home."

without waiting for a reply, i immediately ended the call. fuck, why'd i even answer that in the first place? i snuggle myself deeper in the covers, my breath hitching and teeth cluttering from the cold. i knew he was going to be an asshole anyway, why'd i answer it?

i close my eyes, curling up. the sight of him outside, drenched from the rain without a helmet on, made me feel a bit guilty. oh, well. he's probably on his way home now.

i nod to myself, knowing that he probably was just forced to check up on me—courtesy of wes. he didn't care if i got knocked out cold during the days we lived together, what was the difference now?

feeling myself almost drifting off to sleep, a sudden vibration from my phone woke my consciousness. i sigh and grab my phone. the continuous vibration must mean that someone's calling me.

i rub and blink my eyes, pulling the phone closer to my eyes so i can clearly see the caller id. it must be wes, i say to myself as i blink a little more before my vision clears at the name.

him, again? i scowl. god, doesn't he have anything better to do than to mess around with a sick person? i placed my phone on the nightstand and turned my back against it, closing my eyes to sleep.

the vibrations stop for a few moments, the room going silent. save for the rain still pouring heavily outside. i try to sleep, but i can't. the throbbing pain of my headache, the cold atmosphere, and my stomach complaining for not being able to consume any proper meal prevent me from getting a good rest.

i slowly open my eyes, and the room is blurry. everything is, it always has been. i close it once again, but they open again when i hear the buzz of my phone. a text message.

is it wesleyan this time? i'm unsure now, but why should i be? wes has been the only one sending me messages and requesting calls, who's message was i expecting other than his?

him. the voice at the back of my head whispers, but i ignore it. i pick up my phone along with my glasses to confirm the name of my messenger,

[ SANTIAGOFUCKYOURSELF 🖕 ] [ 11:23 pm ] Please. [ 11:23 pm ] Just take the medicine.

" ... ?" medicine? puzzled, i blinked. what medicine?

i prop my hands up the bed to lean myself upwards and peek at the window, my eyes widening. is that ... him, still? still outside my house ...?

what the fuck?

he was looking down at his phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard. the plastic bag still in his clutches, it was closed tight so the i doubt the contents inside were dry. was that ... the medicine?

i feel myself weakening, my mind going blank and crazy at the same time. what...? what?

WHAT?

what the fuck is he trying to do? is this some sort of game?? was he bribed by wesleyan?? i doubt the latter. what else could wes have offered him that he doesn’t have?

while i come up with theories and hypotheses on why this was currently happening, i get another message.

[ SANTIAGOFUCKYOURSELF 🖕 ] [ 11:28 pm ] I'm sorry. [ 11:28 pm ] I'll be on my way. [ 11:28 pm ] I'll leave the medicine on your doorknob.

... fuck. i could feel my heartbeat pace erratically, the previously cold room getting warmer, sweat sliding down my forehead and palms.

was i too harsh on him? i think i was. all he wanted to do was to help, did i really have to push him away?

i close my eyes and lean against the headboard, hands on my face. all i could think about is how i'm being an asshole for refusing help from someone who's lending me hand and for him to be like this when he wasn't like this before.

what mind games are you playing at, ian?

i sit there for a few moments, thinking what i'll do, but came up with nothing. i could just wait for him to leave and grab the medicine on the front door, but i'm too weak willed. i opened my eyes to glance at the window and still saw him there, on his motorcycle, phone in hand, rain still pouring.

"will be on your way"? what are you still doing outside then? why are you just sitting there like you're waiting for something?

i close my eyes again, feeling the room getting really warm. fuck.

i can't believe i'm about to do this to myself.

—

... fuck, i can't believe i did this to myself.

ian thought to himself, it'd be better for me to leave. she clearly doesn't want anything to do with me. not what after i did.

still, why do i still follow after her? like a lost puppy, seville would say. i didn't think it'd turn out this way.

none of us did.

ian sat there on his bike, his least concerns were sitting out in the rain and getting sick later, his first priority was to see if she was doing okay.

and maybe that was why he hadn't made any move to go home because he hadn't seen her yet.

ian was concerned for her well-being. he knew how self-destructive she was and that she's bad at taking care of herself. she was hospitalized, for fucks sake. she could be at risk again.

... but this time, he wasn't the cause. this time, he can step in and help.

he wants to.

he wants to care for her like she did to him before, wants to return everything she's done for him when he did nothing but turn her away from him.

he wants to make things right.

and maybe, this time, he can.

he just needs time, effort, and to lower his pride. which is why he's learned to apologize and learn to take in his wrongs.

which is why he's here, waiting. like she did for him, multiple times—over and over again.

if he was still the same ian he was during his senior years in high school, he'd probably be in disbelief. surprised of what he's doing just for someone who he's claimed to not give a damn for in the past.

"did you ... even love me?"

ian closed his eyes, clutching the plastic bag filled with medicine and soup ingredients. i did—i think i did. you were everything i could ask for, and more. but i ruined it. i messed up. i ruined us.

opening his eyes, glancing at the window with light illuminating inside, transparent pink curtains that used to be white when they lived together. huh, they lived together.

we could have still be living together.

wallowing in self-loathing, ian's phone flashed white. a notification appearing. he sees the message and immediately gets up to rush to the front door. his bike being left to soak in the rain.

[ AILEEN ] [ 11:37 pm ] door's open.

#𓍯 ִֶָ 🎀.@sauvvhffp #i tried my hand at angst #it wasnt exactly angst #ocxoc

[circlekev]

2022: song a day

this is my playlist for last year's song a day picks. have been doing this since 2019 with the playlists hosted on spotify. in the process of migrating to the playlists to youtube and offline because fuck spotify.

jan 1, 2022 misfits - bullet

jan 2, 2022 mgmt - time to pretend

jan 3, 2022 avril lavigne - bite me

jan 4, 2022 bad religion - anxiety

jan 5, 2022 turnstile - t.l.c. (turnstile love connection)

jan 6, 2022 impailers - nuclear cab

jan 7, 2022 turnstile - high pressure

jan 8, 2022 durry - worse for wear

jan 9, 2022 jeru the damaja - d. original

jan 10, 2022 king gizzard & the lizard wizard - black hot soup (dj shadow “my own reality” re-write)

jan 11, 2022 viagra boys - special helmet

jan 12, 2022 dj shadow - midnight in a perfect world

jan 13, 2022 the prodigy - spitfire

jan 14, 2022 unkle - safe in mind (please get this gun from out my face)

jan 15, 2022 a tribe called quest - mr. incognito

jan 16, 2022 the detroit cobras - cha-cha twist

jan 17, 2022 system of a down - psycho

jan 18, 2022 the jimi hendrix experience - gypsy eyes

jan 19, 2022 run the jewels - legend has it

jan 20, 2022 hatebreed - instinctive (slaughterlust)

jan 21, 2022 black flag - louie louie

jan 22, 2022 morphine - honey white

jan 23, 2022 beastie boys - shake your rump

jan 24, 2022 rolling blackouts coastal fever - french press

jan 25, 2022 spiritworld - the bringer of light

jan 26, 2022 p.o.d. - boom

jan 27, 2022 2pac - hit em up

jan 28, 2022 viagra boys - 16 wheeler horse

jan 29, 2022 deftones - minerva

jan 30, 2022 u2 - sunday bloody sunday

jan 31, 2022 el-p - the full retard

feb 1, 2022 two door cinema club - come back home

feb 2, 2022 interpol - obstacle 1

feb 3, 2022 interpol - pda

feb 4, 2022 green day - when i come around

feb 5, 2022 torre florim - firestarter

feb 6, 2022 stormtroopers of death - united forces

feb 7, 2022 slayer - postmortem

feb 8, 2022 masta ace - da grind

feb 9, 2022 dj shadow & run the jewels - nobody speak

feb 10, 2022 helmet - bad mood

feb 11, 2022 kyuss - whitewater

feb 12, 2022 snoop dogg - crip ya enthusiasm

feb 13, 2022 mini mansions - mirror mountain

feb 14, 2022 dboy - post modern trash

feb 15, 2022 polvo - thermal treasure

feb 16, 2022 turnstile - wild world

feb 17, 2022 helmet - role model

feb 18, 2022 the von bondies - c’mon c’mon

feb 19, 2022 i monster - daydream in blue

feb 20, 2022 alice in chains - rooster

feb 21, 2022 nailbomb - wasting away

feb 22, 2022 queens of the stone age - in the fade (rip mark lanegan)

feb 23, 2022 mark lanegan - strange religion

feb 24, 2022 screaming trees - nearly lost you

feb 25, 2022 code orange - you and you alone

feb 26, 2022 the cramps - garbageman

feb 27, 2022 whale - hobo humpin’ slobo babe

feb 28, 2022 viagra boys - sports

mar 1, 2022 mark lanegan - one way street

mar 2, 2022 cleopatrick - sanjake

mar 3, 2022 gang of four - damaged goods

mar 4, 2022 cleopatrick - 2008

mar 5, 2022 metallica - carpe diem baby

mar 6, 2022 a perfect circle - judith

mar 7, 2022 afi - miseria cantare (the beginning)

mar 8, 2022 dead boys - sonic reducer

mar 9, 2022 the jesus lizard - thumbscrews

mar 10, 2022 idles - exeter

mar 11, 2022 transplants - california babylon

mar 12, 2022 the kooks - native

mar 13, 2022 turnstile - holiday

mar 14, 2022 the beatles - long, long, long

mar 15, 2022 the eagles - those shoes

mar 16, 2022 the explosion - conniption fit

mar 17, 2022 white zombie - thunder kiss ’65

mar 18, 2022 motorhead - ace of spades

mar 19, 2022 whores - imposter syndrome

mar 20, 2022 fleetwood mac - the chain

mar 21, 2022 death - keep on knocking

mar 22, 2022 fidlar - alcohol

mar 23, 2022 pantera - becoming

mar 24, 2022 sepultura - territory

mar 25, 2022 motorhead - the game

mar 26, 2022 foo fighters - times like these

mar 27, 2022 gorillaz - feel good inc.

mar 28, 2022 bear vs. shark - catamaran

mar 29, 2022 nine inch nails - every day is exactly the same

mar 30, 2022 pissed jeans - the bar is low

mar 31, 2022 peeping tom - mojo

apr 1, 2022 queens of the stone age - song for the deaf

apr 2, 2022 grits - ooh ahh (my life be like)

apr 3, 2022 the dillinger escape plan - one of us is the killer

apr 4, 2022 wet leg - ur mum

apr 5, 2022 clutch - red alert (boss metal zone)

apr 6, 2022 clutch - mice and gods

apr 7, 2022 clutch - el jefe speaks

apr 8, 2022 wet leg - wet dream

apr 9, 2022 clutch - binge and purge

apr 10, 2022 rob zombie - never gonna stop (the red, red kroovy)

apr 11, 2022 modjo - lady (hear me tonight)

apr 12, 2022 warren zevon - my shit’s fucked up

apr 13, 2022 monster magnet - powertrip

apr 14, 2022 colter wall - codeine dream

apr 15, 2022 wet leg - piece of shit

apr 16, 2022 monster magnet - space lord

apr 17, 2022 joy division - warsaw

apr 18, 2022 nirvana - something in the way

apr 19, 2022 el-p - flyentology

apr 20, 2022 action bronson - the chairman’s intent

apr 21, 2022 the stooges - 1970

apr 22, 2022 audioslave - show me how to live

apr 23, 2022 architects - when we were young

apr 24, 2022 handsome boy modeling school - holy calamity (bear witness ii)

apr 25, 2022 deftones - rickets

apr 26, 2022 nirvana - in bloom

apr 27, 2022 new kingdom - mexico or bust

apr 28, 2022 queens of the stone age - sick, sick, sick

apr 29, 2022 buzzcocks - boredom

apr 30, 2022 eels - dog faced boy

may 1, 2022 the locust - we have reached an official verdict: nobody gives a shit

may 2, 2022 nofx - linoleum

may 3, 2022 faith no more - jizzlobber

may 4, 2022 beastie boys - sure shot

may 5, 2022 queens of the stone age - suture up your future

may 6, 2022 metallica - eye of the beholder

may 7, 2022 dr dre - still dre

may 8, 2022 faith no more - motherfucker

may 9, 2022 x - los angeles

may 10, 2022 course of nature - wall of shame

may 11, 2022 the black dahlia murder - verminous

may 12, 2022 daft punk - around the world

may 13, 2022 the blind shake - they’re all gone

may 14, 2022 soulwax - miserable girl

may 15, 2022 beastie boys - jimmy james

may 16, 2022 beastie boys - and what you give is what you get

may 17, 2022 violent femmes - add it up

may 18, 2022 soundgarden - black hole sun

may 19, 2022 faith no more - cone of shame

may 20, 2022 dinosaur jr. - feel the pain

may 21, 2022 faith no more - chinese arithmetic

may 22, 2022 helmet - unsung

may 23, 2022 deftones - dai the flu

may 24, 2022 turnstile - blackout

may 25, 2022 idlewild - a modern way of letting go

may 26, 2022 faith no more - midlife crisis

may 27, 2022 the obsessed - lunar womb

may 28, 2022 death from above 1979 - turn it out

may 29, 2022 dboy - red ultra glide

may 30, 2022 system of a down - toxicity

may 31, 2022 faith no more - epic

jun 1, 2022 faith no more - the gentle art of making enemies

jun 2, 2022 purple disco machine & kool keith - memphis jam

jun 3, 2022 faith no more - stripsearch

jun 4, 2022 bloodhound gang - the bad touch

jun 5, 2022 metallica - st. anger

jun 6, 2022 counterparts - unwavering vow

jun 7, 2022 hatebreed - refuse / resist

jun 8, 2022 faith no more - caffeine

jun 9, 2022 xzibit - heart of man

jun 10, 2022 mastodon - blood and thunder

jun 11, 2022 the mark of cain - familiar territory

jun 12, 2022 tommy guerrero - tatanka

jun 13, 2022 turnstile - time + space

jun 14, 2022 rage against the machine - tire me

jun 15, 2022 nirvana - school

jun 16, 2022 paramore - misery business

jun 17, 2022 hot snakes - this mystic decade

jun 18, 2022 viktor vaughan - saliva

jun 19, 2022 faith no more - falling to pieces

jun 20, 2022 faith no more - surprise! you’re dead!

jun 21, 2022 clutch - gullah

jun 22, 2022 the bronx - curb feelers

jun 23, 2022 helmet - in the meantime

jun 24, 2022 eagles - take it easy

jun 25, 2022 pantera - 5 minutes alone

jun 26, 2022 the cramps - the crusher

jun 27, 2022 death from above 1979 - always on

jun 28, 2022 death from above 1979 - nvr 4ever

jun 29, 2022 the chemical brothers - block rockin’ beats

jun 30, 2022 the prodigy - firestarter

jul 1, 2022 metallica - master of puppets

jul 2, 2022 pantera - cowboys from hell

jul 3, 2022 nebula - so it goes

jul 4, 2022 soccer mommy - your dog

jul 5, 2022 clutch - what would a wookie do?

jul 6, 2022 deee-lite - groove is in the heart

jul 7, 2022 the stooges - down on the street

jul 8, 2022 clutch - the soapmakers

jul 9, 2022 fantomas - cape fear

jul 10, 2022 handsome boy modelling school - magnetizing

jul 11, 2022 m | a | r | r | s - pump up the volume

jul 12, 2022 kurtis blow - the breaks

jul 13, 2022 mr. bungle - retrovertigo

jul 14, 2022 frank carter & the rattlesnakes - juggernaut

jul 15, 2022 melvins - hag me

jul 16, 2022 clutch - the elephant riders

jul 17, 2022 pegboy - method

jul 18, 2022 ben harper - ground on down

jul 19, 2022 dead cross - church of the motherfuckers

jul 20, 2022 linkin park - in the end

jul 21, 2022 clutch - the dragonfly

jul 22, 2022 clutch - we strive for excellence

jul 23, 2022 clutch - easy breezy

jul 24, 2022 pegboy - through my fingers

jul 25, 2022 metallica - whiplash

jul 26, 2022 nofx - 72 hookers

jul 27, 2022 clutch - spacegrass

jul 28, 2022 the dead south - chop suey

jul 29, 2022 faith no more - black friday

jul 30, 2022 clutch - brazenhead

jul 31, 2022 clutch - willie nelson

aug 1, 2022 off! - void you out

aug 2, 2022 les claypool’s duo de twang - wynona’s big brown beaver

aug 3, 2022 the bronx - cobra lucha

aug 4, 2022 chat pile - dallas beltway

aug 5, 2022 chat pile - tropical beaches, inc.

aug 6, 2022 primus - those damed blue-collar tweekers

aug 7, 2022 clutch - (notes from the trial of) la curandera

aug 8, 2022 sepultura - amen

aug 9, 2022 bad religion - past is dead

aug 10, 2022 dead kennedys - let’s lynch the landlord

aug 11, 2022 gorillaz - m1 a1

aug 12, 2022 alice in chains - them bones

aug 13, 2022 system of a down - chop suey!

aug 14, 2022 ol’ dirty bastard - shimmy shimmy ya

aug 15, 2022 big ups - atheist self-help

aug 16, 2022 kyuss - phototropic

aug 17, 2022 clutch - a shogun named marcus

aug 18, 2022 single mothers - nausea

aug 19, 2022 primus - tommy the cat

aug 20, 2022 beastie boys - off the grid

aug 21, 2022 kerbdog - dry riser

aug 22, 2022 the jesus lizard - glamorous

aug 23, 2022 room 5 & oliver cheatham - make luv

aug 24, 2022 system of a down - aerials

aug 25, 2022 moby, mark lanegan & kris kristofferson - the lonely night (reprise version)

aug 26, 2022 elastica - connection

aug 27, 2022 queens of the stone age - no one knows

aug 28, 2022 nofx - kill all the white man

aug 29, 2022 iggy pop - the passenger

aug 30, 2022 nas - it ain’t hard to tell

aug 31, 2022 guru - transit ride

sep 1, 2022 guru - insert b (the real deal) / nobody knows

sep 2, 2022 the smashing pumpkins - silverfuck

sep 3, 2022 foo fighters - my hero

sep 4, 2022 system of a down - shimmy

sep 5, 2022 scowl - fuck around

sep 6, 2022 roger miller - you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd

sep 7, 2022 metallica - blackened

sep 8, 2022 marty robbins - el paso

sep 9, 2022 iggy pop - lust for life

sep 10, 2022 the x-ecutioners - it’s goin’ down

sep 11, 2022 metallica - one

sep 12, 2022 metz - come on down

sep 13, 2022 nirvana - scentless apprentice

sep 14, 2022 helmet & house of pain - just another victim

sep 15, 2022 clutch - big news i

sep 16, 2022 linkin park - crawling

sep 17, 2022 eric prydz - call on me

sep 18, 2022 bobby womack - across 110th street

sep 19, 2022 down - lifer

sep 20, 2022 yellowcard - breathing

sep 21, 2022 republica - ready to go

sep 22, 2022 metz - common trash

sep 23, 2022 white zombie - welcome to planet motherfucker / psychoholic slag

sep 24, 2022 baroness - take my bones away

sep 25, 2022 rammstein - du riechst so gut

sep 26, 2022 nofx - i, fatty

sep 27, 2022 r.e.m. - what’s the frequency, kenneth?

sep 28, 2022 the prodigy - out of space

sep 29, 2022 alice in chains - would?

sep 30, 2022 off! - black widow group

oct 1, 2022 linkin park - numb

oct 2, 2022 sepultura - dead embryonic cells

oct 3, 2022 deftones - engine no. 9

oct 4, 2022 danger mouse & black thought - cheat codes

oct 5, 2022 metallica - enter sandman

oct 6, 2022 linkin park - papercut

oct 7, 2022 slayer - angel of death

oct 8, 2022 soundgarden - rusty cage

oct 9, 2022 metz - wet blanket

oct 10, 2022 mr. bungle - platypus

oct 11, 2022 orb - hazelwart

oct 12, 2022 audioslave - like a stone

oct 13, 2022 white zombie - soul-crusher

oct 14, 2022 system of a down - war?

oct 15, 2022 hammerhedd - tunnel

oct 16, 2022 the dillinger escape plan - setting fire to sleeping giants

oct 17, 2022 suicidal tendencies - feel like shit…deja-vu

oct 18, 2022 helmet - biscuits for smut

oct 19, 2022 system of a down - i-e-a-i-a-i-o

oct 20, 2022 bad religion - no control

oct 21, 2022 bad religion - operation rescue

oct 22, 2022 white zombie - electric head, part 2 (the ecstasy)

oct 23, 2022 billy nomates - balance is gone

oct 24, 2022 linkin park - one step closer

oct 25, 2022 dboy - money talks

oct 26, 2022 system of a down - b.y.o.b.

oct 27, 2022 sepultura - attitude

oct 28, 2022 deftones - be quiet and drive (far away)

oct 29, 2022 nailbomb - police truck

oct 30, 2022 toxic narcotic - asshole

oct 31, 2022 black rebel motorcycle club - beat the devil’s tattoo

nov 1, 2022 static-x - the only

nov 2, 2022 the herbaliser - the sensual woman

nov 3, 2022 rage against the machine - know your enemy

nov 4, 2022 turnstile - new heart design

nov 5, 2022 fatboy slim - the rockefeller skank (short edit)

nov 6, 2022 fc kahuna - hayling

nov 7, 2022 turnstile - don’t play

nov 8, 2022 queens of the stone age - the bronze

nov 9, 2022 faith no more - cuckoo for caca

nov 10, 2022 drowning pool - tear away

nov 11, 2022 the prodigy - diesel power

nov 12, 2022 the smashing pumpkins - today

nov 13, 2022 sugarcult - los angeles

nov 14, 2022 the ataris - the boys of summer

nov 15, 2022 faith no more - ugly in the morning

nov 16, 2022 biohazard - hold my own

nov 17, 2022 iron maiden - fear of the dark

nov 18, 2022 audioslave - cochise

nov 19, 2022 scowl - bloodhound

nov 20, 2022 the bronx - false alarm

nov 21, 2022 killswitch engage - my curse

nov 22, 2022 confidence man - holiday

nov 23, 2022 the xx - intro

nov 24, 2022 cky - 96 quite bitter beings

nov 25, 2022 pantera - rise

nov 26, 2022 bjork & skunk anansie - army of me

nov 27, 2022 black sabbath - war pigs

nov 28, 2022 metallica - lux aeterna

nov 29, 2022 rolling blackouts coastal fever - tidal river

nov 30, 2022 fleetwood mac - everywhere

dec 1, 2022 queens of the stone age - the lost art of keeping a secret

dec 2, 2022 jeff rosenstock - pash rash

dec 3, 2022 stone temple pilots - plush

dec 4, 2022 pantera - strength beyond strength

dec 5, 2022 the cramps - goo goo muck

dec 6, 2022 nofx - 180 degrees

dec 7, 2022 captain beefheart & his magic band - pena

dec 8, 2022 pantera - hollow

dec 9, 2022 maximo park - apply some pressure

dec 10, 2022 fools game - not like me

dec 11, 2022 evanescence - my last breath

dec 12, 2022 misfits - green hell

dec 13, 2022 turnstile - mystery

dec 14, 2022 linkin park - pushing me away

dec 15, 2022 linkin park - forgotten

dec 16, 2022 idles - date night

dec 17, 2022 feeder - just a day

dec 18, 2022 clutch - we need some money

dec 19, 2022 static-x - push it

dec 20, 2022 jimmy eat world - just tonight

dec 21, 2022 scatman john - scatman

dec 22, 2022 idlewild - i found that essence rare

dec 23, 2022 turnstile - underwater boi

dec 24, 2022 faithless - insomnia (monster mix)

dec 25, 2022 dr. colossus - pickabar

dec 26, 2022 static-x - start a war

dec 27, 2022 static-x - cold

dec 28, 2022 deftones - change (in the house of files)

dec 29, 2022 rob zombie - dead girl superstar

dec 30, 2022 modest mouse - float on

dec 31, 2022 mr. bungle - sudden death

#song a day #2022

[itsrainingfeathers]

As my dear mutuals and followers probably noticed, I finally watched s1 of Netflix!Witcher.

What I liked about it:

- Jaskier. Just. Jaskier. I wasn't sure about him at first (bc as I've previously stated, book!Dandy is my one true love) but he's so great. And relatable.

- Roach and the other horses (and the donkeys, too. Can't forget the donkeys.)

- Geralt being a horse girl

- The songs!! Especially Toss A Coin and Her Sweet Kiss, but the others were fun too.

- Henry Cavill's acting in that scene where the striga tears Geralt's throat open. The wide wide eyes and stuff. (I wasn't too excited about this Geralt at first but now I quite like him.)

- Book!Geralt is said to have an unpleasant voice, and while the voice Mr. Cavill is doing in the show isn't entirely unpleasant, it sounds off enough in my ears to be considered a plus

- Yennefer's dress in ep8 was gorgeous!!!

- and so was Tissaia de Vries

- and Pavetta

- and Sabrina

- and Coral (glad they stayed loyal to the books and took all her limbs)

- and not only Yennefer's dress, but the rest of the costuming, too

- the shots of Geralt and Renfri + Geralt and Yennefer kissing/with their faces close to each other and the light behind them were so pretty

- AND THAT SLOW-MOTION SHOT IN EP6 WITH GERALT AND YENNEFER KISSING AS GERALT BLASTS THOSE GUYS AND DUDES AWAY WITH AARD THAT KISS WAS SO POINTLESS AND UNNECESSARY AND I STRONGLY DISLIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT THAT SHOT WAS AMAZING

- that music change when Geralt and Yen decided to do the horizontal mambo in that collapsing house in episode...5 I think??

- All the fun banter, jokes and humor in general. If I'm going to watch a guy have his intestines torn out I'll want something to laugh at, too (or someone. For example, Jaskier).

- The balance between said fun banter, jokes and humor, and all the dark, sad and cruel scenes and themes. It reminded me so much of the books and I'm so glad they got it right with the show.

- the general atmosphere and visual look of the series

- Ciri's cloak!

- Ciri's screaming parting the earth and stuff. That was cool af

- the feathers in the Nilfgaardians' helmets

- that couple that bough magical Viagra from Yennefer (not the couple themselves, per se, but said magical Viagra. A fun scene. Yes I have the sense of humour of a 15-year-old boy what about it)

- Geralt dragging and carrying Jaskier around in ep5 (though that did take away some of the drama and seriousness of the situation)

- The soundtrack!!!! Especially the main theme (Geralt of Rivia). I Am In Love

- The intro of ep9 was so fucking cool

- all the extraordinarily badass swordfighting scenes (with dramatic swishing hair)

- at least one (1) witcher pirouette!!

- that "black eyes from potions"-thing!!!

- Geralt breaking the floor with Aard in the striga episode (can't remember the number rn)

What I didn't like about it:

- They really did something to Ciri's character huh. Where's the wild and stubborn Lion Cub of Cintra? Who is this bland ass sack of flour?? A doppler??? Is she like that when she's older???? (I mean yeah she did steal a horse and do some banshee screaming and stuff and was obv very brave in a hellish situation but still. I really hope she'll have more spirit in s2)

- Renfri wasn't that great either. She didn't have that sharp edge she has in the book (idk if this makes any sense but whatever). Not enough hatred towards Stregobor I think.

- And she wasn't called Shrike a single time. Why.

- And what was that conversation between Stregobor and Geralt in ep1?? It was weak. Weak! (Yeah yeah if they had every single detail from the books in the series each episode would be a two-hour-long movie but I'm still salty about it)

- Jas could've been at the very least a bit more horrified about the elves breaking his lute

- Give Jaskier A Hat. He Needs A Hat. I Know He Gets One In S2 But Still.

- With all the time jumps, I'd have been so lost had I not read some of the books.

- I imagined Geralt to be just a bit more...grimy. And to have a much less fancy armor and stuff. But I guess a witcher must have top-notch gear if he plans to stay alive, and it's nice to be somewhat clean. I personally think the armor looked the best in that episode with The Edge of The World (ep2??)

- The bulky shoulder pad things (I'm sure they have a proper name but can't remember it rn) on said armor. Personally I think it looks much better without them, like in that gif in the beginning of this post. (Ofc he needs to have his shoulders and arms protected but anyway)

- the entire design of Geralt's armor wasn't my favorite either, but it seems a lot better than the ridiculous tiddy armor in the s2 trailer

- Also: don't get me wrong, the leather pants look nice, but they don't seem to offer too much protection from, say, monster claws or teeth like in ep9. Maybe some armor plates would help? There's big veins in the legs, after all. (Yes yes he needs to be able to move freely and has to be quick but I said what I said)

- Why were some of Henry Cavill's wigs curly/wavy and others straight? Does Geralt own a hair straightener? Does Jaskier own a hair straightener that Geralt borrows occasionally? I have questions. (Update: it is mentioned in Baptism of Fire that Dandelion occasionally, not straightens, but curls his hair. Do with that information what you wish)

- That Mr. Cavill had to dehydrate for the shirtless scenes. No actor should have to risk their health like that just for the sake of some unrealistic eye candy.

- The Brokilon storyline was so boring. So, so boring. And I didn't like how they had Ciri and Geralt first meet at the farm instead of Brokilon (and that hug sort of came out of the blue when they hadn't actually met before. It was a cute scene tho).

Though that is quite a lot of criticism, I really enjoyed the show! I'm actually glad that I didn't get to watch it sooner bc waiting for s2 is already difficult enough. Can't imagine having to do this for 2 years lmao.

#i think i'd have much more to say if i really thought about it #but i can't be bothered to do that so here you go #can't wait for s2 and some kaer morhen content!! #the trailers looked so good!!! can't wait to have jaskier back #though eskel's scars could look worse but maybe that's just me being nitpicky #anyway #moving on to the more boring tags #the witcher #witcher #witcher netflix #netflix witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier dandelion #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #princess cirilla #yennefer of vengerberg #and the rest of the gang #rainy's fandom soup #taiga's witchering

[anniee]

If I had any doubts on why Vale is Lando's idol I don't anymore 🙈

This is Vale's helmet for the weekend

He wanted to joke on him being old and needing help to do "the thing" so he decided to put a viagra pill on the helmet 😂😂😂😂

#valentino rossi #lando norris #motogp #f1 fandom #f1 #formula 1 #f1blr #f1memes #formula one #f1driver #max verstappen #mclaren

[inhidingxoxo3637]

I think my favourite thing about Valentino Rossi's Viagra helmet is the fact he a grown man kept it a secret from his little brother on the basis of he didn't want his brother to tell their mum about it

#Snitch!Marini #MotoGP #Valentino Rossi #Luca Marini

[raulfernandez]

Anti-honesty hour: opinion on the viagra helmet?

Yes.

#ask games :3

[fave-fanfic-for-now]

Where Do I Belong? - Ch. 7

The Mandalorian x Reader x Ezra

Fem!reader

Warnings: sex pollen, smut, dubious consent, threesome, violence, death, blood, near drowning, 18+, amateur writing

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Masterlist

Gifs by @pascvl​ and @beaulesbian​

I’m busy working on the designs, diagrams, and equations needed to build a radio and antenna capable of communicating throughout multiple galaxies. I'd have to ask the guys if they'd be willing to stop at a junkyard planet so I can find parts needed to build it. Meanwhile, Mando and Ezra are out collecting a bounty together. Since Ezra's last encounter that almost cost him his life, Mando and I began a rigorous training program for him and he’s becoming a great hunter.

I’ve been working for about 3 hours before hearing them return, complaining and fighting with a struggling bounty the whole way.

“I am not in a good mood. If you do not cooperate these last few moments, my partner will shoot you and I will watch with rapturous joy as he does so, do you understand?” Ezra's voice rings out followed by his grunting. That's when Mandos footsteps stomp closer, causing the bounty to release a frightened yelp, followed by the hold being filled with the scent of carbonite.

“He got a cheap shot,” Ezra groans before the door shut. “How's your work coming along little shark?” He asks kissing me on the top of my head.

“It's alright how'd the bounty go…” I turn to look at him and Mando, “and what are you covered in?”

“We chased the bounty through the streets when we rounded a corner he knocked pallets of powder, all over us.” Mando gripes as he removes his helmet.

“I believe I inhaled more than Din on account of his helmet filtering out most of the substance,” as soon as Ezra ends his sentence, a puff of white powder explodes in Din's face when he finally manages to tug his cape free, causing Din to sigh and throw it to the ground. “Although, it appears I am now wrong on that front.”

“I'll get us out of here, you two clean up.” Rising from my workstation and climbing to the cockpit, I set a course to the next bounty's planet.

After about an hour, I climb down to check on the guys. Entering the cargo hold, I notice something’s off; both men are sweating and have slightly pained looks on their faces, at least it looks slightly pained until I get closer to Ezra. He’s lying on his side, clothes gone, eyes tightly shut, panting, and he looks as though he’s in excruciating pain.

“Ezra?” I ask leaning down in front of him, running my hand over his forehead and immediately pulling it back. Ezra feels like he’s on fire.

“I-” he groans unable to speak after the first word. Looking over to Din I see he’s stripped everything off and seems to be in a similar condition, but less so that Ezra.

“What happened to you two?” I question checking Din as well, he’s burning up, but not as bad as Ezra, suddenly Din's hand shoots out and grabs my wrist.

“Spice,” he gasps, tightening his hold on me, “amatory spice.” His hand clenches a few times before he releases me with a groan. “My helmet protected me at first, but when...when I removed my cape...I was exposed...I”

“Amatory spice, so...like powdered Viagra?” I reach out to feel his head again. “Maybe some ecstasy as mixed in?” Din just gives me a blank stare, “they're earth drugs, raise your temperature and allow you to have a hard-on for hours.” Just then, I hear Ezra begin gasping as if he was running out of air. “Can you OD on this stuff?”

“OD?” Mando replies, clearly in pain.

“Overdose...die from having too much?” I grab two cool wash cloths and place them on each of their foreheads, holding it onto Ezra's, which causes him to jerk away as if my very touch hurt him.

“No, it's just painful...” Ezra gasps out while curling into the fetal position, “Makes you wish you'd die.”

“So why the hell, do people make it.” I don't know what to do, Ezra looks as though he’s about to pass out, and Din will begin experiencing this soon as well.

“It’s...I-it's supposed to be used...before sex...” Din grunts, “that's the only way to...relieve the pain.”

“Seriously?!” I deadpan, looking between them, “you guys are in excruciating pain, and the only way to relieve it is to have sex. However, neither of you thought to make a move on me, despite me permitting you to do anything you wanted to me, whenever you wanted.”

“Didn't know how you'd react...to us on the drugs.” both try to say in unison.

“Well, I'm not happy about you accidentally ingesting it, but…because we are in an established relationship and we've given each other permission previously, I give you permission now, as long as you two won't regret this later. I don't want to take advantage of either of you in an altered state.”

“You're not!” Ezra practically shouts as he lunges for me connecting our lips. “I can't be gentle,” he states pulling apart.

“That's fine.” I smile, as soon as I say those words he rip my shirt off, literally, and begins pulling everything else off me.

Shoving me to the ground he climbs on top and thrusts inside without any hesitation and begins pounding into me as hard and fast as he can. He’s right, this isn't gentle, this can only be described as hate fucking except for the fact I know he cares for me. His thrusts are like a god damned jackhammer and I can feel us move across the floor a little. As he thrust into me, he grab, pinches, and bites what skin he can, not stopping his hips even one second. He isn't very articulate at this time, just repeating the word 'fuck' over and over again.

Ezra’s moving so fast, I can't even think of trying to move my hips to help him, all I can do is lay there and touch him. Placing his hand on my throat, he begins to squeeze, not too tight, but enough to make me slightly uncomfortable, not that I have a problem with it. Ezra doesn't last long before coming, and I come with him, excited about the rough sex that’s happening. Don't get me wrong, I love what we do, but every once in a while a girl like me needs it rough. As soon as Ezra comes, he’s pushed aside carelessly as Din takes his place.

Immediately, Din begins hammering into me, not allowing me to come down from my high. He picks up where Ezra leaves off with biting, sucking, and grabbing me. Both are leaving bruises all over, but I couldn't care less. As Din’s thrusting into me, Ezra moves to sit in a chair near us, panting hard, using the cold washcloth on his face as he watches Din pound me into the floor. Din doesn't make much noise besides grunting and soon his thrusts get sloppy as he is getting close to coming. I reach down to rub my clit pushing myself over the edge, with Din following close behind.

Once Din finishes Ezra moves him out of the way and rolls me onto my hands and knees, slamming into me. Tangling his hand in my hair, he grabs my hip to hold me in place. I can feel the heat radiating off him as he destroys me, moving faster than ever before. I try to grab a hold of something to hold myself in place, but there’s nothing around, eventually, I have to put one hand in front of me onto the wall to stop from hitting it. Ezra, the perpetual orator, has absolutely nothing to say as he fucks me. It’s not long before he pulls me up by my hair and holds me tight, digging his teeth into my shoulder as he comes, panting the whole time

As soon as he’s done, he pulls out and Din takes his place again. Before I can fall or move Din positions himself behind me and pushes in. He then pushes me down so hard and fast I don’t have time to catch myself with my hands as he begins his brutal pace.

*4 hours later*

I’m sore, but both guys couldn't stop, and to be honest, I wasn't going to ask them too. Currently, I’m on Din's lap, back pressed to his chest as he thrusts up into me, panting and groaning as he comes.

Once I finish with Din, Ezra grabs my hand and pulls me onto him, wrapping his arms around my waist as he hammer into me, kissing and biting the skin he can reach. Both men are still hot, but their temperatures have dropped from when we first began. Their movements have slowed, but not by much. Feeling the heartbeats in their chests, I’m certain they will explode soon, luckily they don't.

Ezra comes in me and holds me tight to him, his face in my neck and his cock still buried in my pussy. As he starts to come down, I can feel Din move behind me. He places his hand in the middle of my back, pushing me tighter against Ezra as he pulls my hips back a little bit, so they’re tilted. He kisses the middle of my back, then lines himself up with my pussy and pushes in causing both Ezra and I to gasp. Instinctively, I try to move forward and away, but then I settle back and let him take me, I may be sore, but I’m really enjoying this, I mean who doesn't dream of spending all day being railed by two incredibly gorgeous men.

Din's first thrust is hard, causing Ezra to hiss, I know Din wants to go as fast and rough as he can, but he stop and kisses me on the shoulder before leaning over and pressing his forehead to Ezra's. When he moves back to his original position, Din begins to slowly move in and out of me. Once Ezra begins moving too, their thrusts became harder, faster, and more frantic.

Both men work to move me up and down, in equal time to their thrusts. I would've helped, but to be perfectly honest, without the drug, I can barely move I’m so exhausted. At this time I’m so overstimulated I feel like my nervous system is shot, all I can do is hang on and enjoy the ride. Eventually, I’m able to brace my tiptoes on the floor and use that to help move with them. Once they realize I’m moving on my own each man begins hammering harder into me, frenzied biting and sucking all over my skin. I can't tell who, but someone reaches down to my clit and begins rubbing it, to get me to cum faster. I grab his wrist and hold on as my orgasm grows. I feel like someone set me on fire, between my rapidly approaching orgasm and the body heat Din and Ezra are throwing off, I’m dripping with sweat. Finally, Din comes, causing Ezra to follow behind him, and when I feel both of them filling me, their warmth spreading inside, I join them. Din collapses onto me, pushing both of us into Ezra, as he continues to push in me lazily. As I’m trying to catch my breath I realize, both of them are still hard. This is going to be a long night.

_________________________________________________________________________

I wake up the next morning pressed tightly between Ezra and Din. I barely shift and can instantly feel everything from yesterday's activities. Slowly, I maneuver myself out of the bed and out of the room. I have never been one of those girls who feel pain when they walk after a rigorous sexual experience, I may feel a little uncomfortable, maybe it’s a high pain tolerance or maybe it’s my increased healing capabilities, but holy fuck did I hurt today. Twelve hours we fucked, non-stop. Am I in pain? Yes. Was it good? Yes. Do I regret it? Not a chance. Would I do it again? You bet your fucking ass I would.

I manage to waddle down to the fresher and look in the mirror to see the state I’m in. My chest, abdomen, hips, and inner thighs are covered in bruises, almost so many you can barely see unmarked skin. Turning around, my back isn’t in much better shape, I guess no tank tops in public, for a while. This is slightly a turn on for me, normally I’d be pissed, but today, I like it, all except for the thighs, I didn't need any more pain down there.

Stepping into the shower I let the hot water envelop me, ‘the fresher had to be the one part of the ship we didn't fuck on last night’ I think. As I clean myself, I begin thinking about what transpired last night. Even on amatory drugs, both men shared, they didn't fight, they were respectful, ‘I'll be damned if I want to give this up’ a part of me thinks.

Once I’m out of the shower I put on my deodorant, brush my teeth, and dress in a tank top and sweat pants, grabbing a large sweater to go over me later, I’m not going out in public today and figure the guys will like to see their work. Climbing the ladder I’m swept up bridal style by Din and laid onto the bed, just as Ezra finishes changing the bedding

“You're staying here all day,” Din whispers nuzzling my neck.

“Don't tell me you guys still have that drug in your system,” I inquire gaping at the two of them.

“No sharky,” Ezra responds sitting next to me, “we just know how sore you must be, so you take it easy today and tomorrow.” He gently begins tracing some of the bruises. “I must apologize for my behavior last night. I was not in my right mind and I would have never marked you to this extent.”

“It’s fine Ez,” I say pulling his lips to mine, “I’m not complaining.”

I look over to Din and see him just staring at me. His eyes don’t have lust in them, instead, it looks like pain or shame, maybe both. Slowly, I reach out to place my hand on his face, causing him to flinch slightly before he places his hand over mine to keep it there.

“Din?” I ask, trying to get his attention on my face, “what’s wrong?”

Slowly he reaches a hand out to touch a couple of bruises as gently as he can before he spoke.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…I didn’t realize what I was doing…” he whisper to me, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you.”

Immediately rolling onto my side I cup his face in my hands and duck my head down so he has look me in the eyes.

“Look at me, you didn’t hurt me. You would never hurt me, I’m ok, I promise.” He gives me a look as if to ask if I was serious and I just nod before smiling and saying, “besides if you did something I didn’t like, we all know I would have fought back. Even in an altered state, I wouldn’t have let you get away with anything I didn’t want.” Din gives a small nod before kissing me. “Now, what do you say we eat something and head to our next planet?”

They both refuse to let me out of bed while they get our food ready and set course for the next bounty. Once they return, we all eat together, talking about various things that cross our minds, it’s a nice calm 2 days after a wonderful night together, it’s…peaceful.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“The tracking FOB is broken.” Mando says, handing it to me.

“There’s no way to fix this,” I mutter prying the FOB open and looking at the circuitry, “it’s fried.”

“So,” Ezra begins tucking his blaster into its holster, “what do we do now?”

“We know this guy is surrounded by a large group of trained thugs, we know what he looks like, and where he hangs out, but more importantly, we know he’s killed over twenty bounty hunters before us. So, we begin with Earth protocols, first, we do surveillance, and then come up with a plan. That means Din,” I turn to him, “you stay here, you stick out like a sore thumb.”

Before Mando can protest, Ezra speaks up, “I will accompany our little shark to ensure she has adequate assistance in case she finds herself in peril.”

“We’ll be fine Din,” I say giving his hand a squeeze and his cheek a kiss.

Walking to the door of the Razor Crest, he lowers the ramp once he places his helmet on. Ezra follows me off the ship and we walk to town, carefully scouting the area on our approach.

“So, how do you do surveillance on Earth?” Ezra inquires as we scout the town.

“Unfortunately, it requires a lot of waiting around. We need to make sure no one follows us, then we secure the area, after that, we watch our targets team; try to get a feel for numbers, schedule, and routines. It takes planning, which could be more than 10 hours to get what we need. We also need intelligence, we try to find someone we can get information from, and they’re not always going to be good people, sometimes its smugglers, drug dealers, town drunks, waitresses, or bartenders. Maybe, if we can get close enough, we can plant a bug on the target.”

“What is a bug?”

“They’re devices used to spy on people, but not all bugs are the same.”

“Oh, and what types are there?”

“If it's got a battery, it's disposable, short-term. If it's wired into the building's power, it's a longer-term thing. If it has a transmitter, you can figure out how close the listener is, and they can typically hear you in real-time. We would be using the third option. In this case.”

“And what do we do if our target realizes we have been surveilling him?”

“Once your target knows you’re on to them, it’s a race against time. They know you’re coming, so the question for them is if they have enough time to escape, or do they have enough power to attack.”

Finding our target is easy, he has about forty men with him at the local cantina, no security outside, and by what the local vendor says, that’s everyone he employs. Ezra and I split up, while it looks like we’re examining the local market, we’re actually looking for escapes, ambush sites, easy overlooks, and the targets transportation. Once we take note of everything we see, we meet in an alley, out of sight from everyone.

“Ok, Ez, I’m going up to the roof of this building, you are going into the cantina,” I begin attaching a bug to the underside of his shirt cuff, “you will pretend to be a friendly harvester, on a small break between jobs. Chat up whoever, you can, get information, but, under no circumstances, be direct in your questioning. If you get near the target, try to place the bug on him.”

“This sounds like a simple assignment,” he states as I slip a small earpiece into his ear.

“You will be able to hear me and Mando in your ear with this,” I say as I fiddle with mine, “Mando can you hear me?”

“Yes,” he replies curtly.

“Good, now Ez, do what you can to avoid any fights, good luck,” I kiss him before heading to the roof, “Mando, I want you to scan the area for any type of base that could belong to them. Ez, one more thing, if the bounty approaches you, cough or clear your throat so we know.”

“Got it.”

Once he enters the establishment, he begins chatting with everyone. We learn that all forty employees are at the cantina with their boss, they’re celebrating something, and they are rowdy, but not losing control. Every twenty minutes 4 guards come out to make rounds and check on everything. So far, Ezra has been inside for 5 hours, telling stories and listening to others. Mando found the compound and confirmed that there’s no life forms inside of it. It’s based next to the cliffs near the ocean, about an hour and a half from the town. Suddenly, Ezra clears his throat and catches my attention away from the guards.

“So, who are ya and what are ya doin here?” A voice asks.

“I’m Ezra, a harvester, I’m simply on vacation, between jobs, enjoying the libations of this quaint planet. May I inquire what you’re celebrating?”

“A big score of blasters, we sold them for an arm and a leg.”

“He’s an arms dealers, be careful,” I tell Ezra.

“So you harvest, see anything interesting on your trips off-world?”

“He means weapons wise, tell him you’ve seen one thing you use frequently called C-4, its an explosive.”

“As a matter of fact I have, I frequently use a new type of explosive known as C-4.”

“Never heard of it.”

“That’s because a friend made it.”

“An acquaintance of mine created it.”

“It works good?”

“It is marvelous; it eliminates everything I need it to.”

“And you have this with you.”

“It’s on your ship.”

“I have a copious quantity aboard my ship.”

“I would like to see this.”

“I can show it to you-“

“2 hours at the base, no ship, just you. He will give you coordinates.”

“I would prefer to bring my acquaintance who invented the explosives.”

“Fine, 2 hours.”

With that the bounty left with all of his people, leaving Ezra alone with the coordinates to the base Mando found.

“Well that was a waste of time,” I mutter angrily packing my stuff, “all this time watching him and he just leaves. I need you to pick up supplies before heading back to the crest, Ez.”

“I didn’t get to place the bug on him,” Ezra whispers.

“That’s fine.”

Once I give him the shopping list I make my way back to the ship to begin making as much C-4 as possible before our meeting time. When he returns I begin working.

“What is C-4?” Mando asks watching me mix the ingredients.

“C-4 is a plastic explosive on earth, I can’t make the exact thing, but I can make a damn good copy. It has a plastic sheen and a putty-like consistency. If you need to counterfeit it, the best thing I've found is cake icing or fondant, not that these guys will know the difference. I can make home-made C-4 with spackle, petroleum jelly and a bunch of other things I don't want to tell you about. Now, this is important,” I state pulling out a detonator, “it will not explode without a detonator, without this, it’s basically useless unless you can set it on fire.”

Once I finish the C-4, we pack it nicely and place it on the speeder bikes that we rented.

“Alright, we need to fly the Crest closer, but far enough they won’t be able to see it. Then we figure out how I can sneak there without them seeing.” Mando says, showing me the scans of the compound.

“You take a speeder and hide behind the start of this hill. When the action starts, you come tearing in as fast as you can for back up.” I say pointing to the map. “Ezra, you get to try and broker this deal. It would be best if we can localize them in one place and hit them hard.”

“I’m sure I can convince them to do something so simple,” Ezra replies, kissing my head.

Once we get everything loaded and move the Crest, it doesn’t take long to get in position and to the compound.

“I have the C-4 set up with a blow and burn, basically a detonator that will destroy everything in case things go sideways, or you get them in the right spot,” I tell Ezra as we approach the bounty.

“Good to see you again,” the bounty says shaking Ezra’s hand, “And who is this sexy thing?”

“This is y/n, the inventor of the marvelous explosives I will be demonstrating for you today.” Ezra smiles at the man. “Now we will prepare the C-4, but your men will have to stand back here for safety reasons.”

I take the case I set up to a test site I’m shown, luckily, I rigged the remaining C-4 to blow simultaneously as the demonstration pack. Unluckily, some stragglers won’t stand near the C-4 attached to the speeder, including the bounty. Once everything is in place, I walk towards Ezra, who’s standing a little to the left of the bounty. I reach his side and pull him closer to me.

“Ready,” I say, pulling out the detonator, “3...2…1…”

There are two massive explosions, one at the test site and one taking out a mass amount of the bounties people, knocking everyone, including Ezra and myself off our feet. Ezra’s up before me and starts dragging me behind a building while pulling his blaster. Once the ringing in our ears wear off we can hear Mando approaching on the speeder, then the shooting starts. There are only about ten people left, Mando chases the ones who hide behind the building, while Ezra shot the bounty in the leg and I drew the fire from the remaining 5 goons. With Ezra’s help, we make quick work of them and tie the bounty up, before following Mando’s trail to help him.

As we round the corner of the building, we see Mando shoot the last guard, but not before he throws something at Mando. Seconds later it explodes, a grenade, throwing Mando into the air and off the cliff. Ezra and I immediately run to the cliffs, just in time to see Mando’s body sink beneath the waves.

“Go get the Crest and hover above the water, as close as you can get,” I yell to Ezra, running to where Mando went over and jump in.

It feels like hours before I hit the water, but once I it envelopes me I begin swimming downward. The waves are strong; as I swim further down, I get smashed into the side of the cliffs, I know Din will have trouble with this. It’s not long before I find him being dragged down by the weight of his armor, scrambling to grab at the protruding rocks trying to hold onto anything he can to stop sinking. I feel panic rise inside of me as I watch him move further down when the rocks he grabs crumble beneath his hands. Finally, he manages to grab something without it giving way, but the waves are pushing him into the cliffs hard, causing him to almost lose his grip.

Once I reach him, I take ahold of his grappling line and pull it as far as I can and begin swimming up, holding onto whatever I can. When the line reaches its end, I attach it to the rocks and Mando pulls himself up. The closer we get to the surface, the harder it becomes, the current’s getting stronger and I can’t get the line to attach to anything. Just as I think we’re truly screwed a net appears in the water. ‘Ezra’ I think, knowing he threw it in for us, tying the line to the net, Mando begins to raise himself. As he gets close, enough to touch the net a big wave hits and causes my grip to loosen. I slam into the cliffside and everything fades to black. I can feel myself sinking; I don’t know how long it is before I feel myself moving up again.

Red, the water’s red; I can see that as I’m being pulled up, but I can’t really see anything else and my eyes felt heavy as they shut. The next thing I feel is a hard, cold floor, ‘the Razor Crest’ I think opening my eyes. I shoot up looking around; I’m in the Razor Crest, the net.

“Din,” I yell jumping up, as I reach the edge of the ramp I see Ezra struggling to surface with Din in his arms.

Grabbing the net, I begin pulling it up, once Ezra gets his head out of the water, he takes a deep breath and climbs up. Both of us manage to pull Din onto the ship, he’s limp and feels lifeless. Ezra lays him down and throws his helmet across the ship while I take his chest piece off, Din isn’t breathing. Ezra breathes into Din’s mouth, while I do chest compressions. I always hate this part, it’s not gentle like you see in the movies, you can hear and feel bones crack during compressions sometimes, and it’s not a good feeling.

I begin using my whole body to do compressions on Din’s chest, after about thirty seconds, I feel Din’s ribs crack under the pressure, pausing while Ezra breathes into his mouth, I resume after. Although it feels a lot longer, it’s only about a minute before I feel Din’s muscles twitch signaling he’s going to wake up. I grab Ezra and pull him away as Din begins coughing up water. Ezra elevates his head a bit and slightly turns him to his side so the water can escape easier. I jump up and run to the cockpit, taking it off of autopilot so it will no longer hover and flew us to the compound.

Setting it down, I rejoin Ezra and Din in the hold. I place Din’s helmet on his head before leaving to gather the bounty. With the bullet wound in his leg, he didn’t go far. When we get back to the ship I shove him in carbonite and sit down next to Din and Ezra, removing Din’s helmet.

“You need a bacta shot for your ribs, we’ll park next to the city in case you need a doctor.” I yawn.

“You need a bacta shot as well, little shark,” Ezra informs me, “you have a nasty gash on your head.”

I just nod and walk away to get the medkits, once Din gets his shot he stays laying in Ezra’s lap while Ezra cleans my head. When he finishes helping me, I fly the ship to the city outskirts and then bring dry clothes for all of us to the hold as well as multiple blankets to lie on.

“Why would I need a doctor?” Din asks as we lay him down.

“Secondary drowning, if water gets into the lungs. It can then irritate the lungs' lining and fluid can build up, causing a condition called pulmonary edema.” I reply, then turn to Ezra and kiss him as fiercely yet lovingly as I can, “thank you.” I say resting my forehead against his.

“No need to thank me little shark, I couldn’t have let anything happen to either of you,” he replies smiling.

We all lay down together and it seems as if we fall asleep at the same time. We’re completely exhausted and just need rest. The last thought I have is ‘after this, we’re taking a short break. Maybe we’ll go to Jakku and strip ships for parts for my radio.’

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Tag: @readsalot73​

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal x reader #ezra x reader #ezra from prospect smut #ezra prospect #din djarin x reader x ezra #ezra (prospect 2018) #ezra from prospect #ezra prospect imagines #prospect ezra x reader #prospect ezra reader #prospect ezra #the mandalorian imagines #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian #the mandalorian smut #pedro pascal #din djarin #din djarin imagine #din djarin smut #where do I belong series

[forzaferrari]

Still can’t believe Valentino Rossi put literal Viagra on his helmet what a lad

#motogp #valentino rossi

[the-order-of-fools]

Headcanons for when the knights get horny perhaps??? 😳💦💦

What is there to expect from a "knight" in his 30s who has lived most of his life until now with his mother? He may have been king for a few years, but that doesn't change his incel status. The only hand that has touched his dick belongs to him. He's in no way sex-obsessed, but he does get horny. He's touchy. If he's someone so obsessed with maintaining his status and avoiding "filthy peasants", why does he have his hand right on your back? You would quite like to punch him in the face, but sadly, you would rather not break your fist. Though, one may come to ask themself if it's worth it. On one hand, you teach him a good lesson about personal space and get to wipe that stupid confident smirk that you just know is behind his helmet, on the other, you may be thrown in jail for the rest of your life with a broken hand. You're left contemplating it as you feel his hand lowering. You swear he's trying trying to perk your attention with (mostly) empty promises of riches and status, but you're too lost in thought to notice his hand on your ass. He's seconds from storming away frustrated that you can't notice his foreplay, he contemplates just smacking your ass. He clearly does not foresee the consequences of his actions - but you do notice instead, and your mind is split between slapping him once and for all (your hand is willing to sacrifice itself) or politely pull his hand back up. His voice will become louder and more confident (or at least try to be), as to counteract his growing embarrassment and need. Even when he's horny, he doesn't result any less obnoxious than normal.

Tinker Knight usually tries avoiding the feeling as much as he can until it finally dies down and he can concentrate once more on his beloved machines, as working in such a state is an absolute no for him. He gets horny while he’s working on something and he accidentally distracts himself and blacks out (working 24/7 in the same place is very mentally tiring), letting the lewd thoughts seep him. Now watch his hands become sweaty under the gloves, his fingers tremble and his grip loosen, causing him to mess up and consequently curse out loud. He needs a pause, and most importantly he needs to drive the troublesome thoughts away. He's a man of focus, commitment and sheer will damnit! His ambition may keep his spirit strong, but it certainly doesn't help his screeching boner. He would rather die of sexual frustration than stop working. That's why you're around. You make sure he doesn't suppress it too much and get permanent hard cock disease.

Sentient magic has a strange way of acting when "aroused". It doesn't quite feel the same sexual arousal as humans or animals, but something much different, like craving a good piece of meat. Wait no that's sexual. A good carrot. Who even likes vegetables? Either way, sentient magic has its own manner of attaining pleasure. Treasure Knight just happens to be sentient magic inside of a free real estate armor. Whether it's a good thing or bad thing is all up to you. When "sexually" frustrated, there exist two ways of dealing with it. You either form what can only be described as a magic dick, or you touch your magic essence under the helmet. Treasure Knight has better things to do than keep a boner and wait for it go die out on its own, which means he'll actively drive it away whether it's thanks to your help or his own hand. He's curt enough to walk up to you and ask you to bed him right away. Expect him to stare intensely at you as you try mustering up an answer, your pupils travelling in every direction just to avoid that intense, supposedly horny gaze. He'll be more than happy to indulge in adult fun time if you give your consent, and then he'll be right back to work. Magic-possessed armors can be quite the workaholics sometimes, while still not being affected by their insane life-work balance. What a blessing.

Some may ask themselves: How can a corpse get horny? Can they even get hard? There isn't any blood in their veins. To which you say: "Magic and social awkwardness". It's like he's a teenager, really. Watching you from the corner of his eye, avoiding you as much as possible, spying on you in the dark. You might as well invite him over for a good fuck since he doesn't even dare wank it in the bushes. Specty can be a creepy motherfucker but with enough love you're sure he can reach some level of basic human decency. He acts like touching you is the most difficult thing he has done in his entire life, and that includes recruiting the Order of Asshole Knights. His touches are awkward, too shy to be truly tangible. You're sure that if you were to grab his dick he would disintegrate. You don't even know if he wants to either hold hands or fuck. Heck, they could mean the same thing for him for all you care. Touch him, and he's immediately on fire - you couldn't know dead skin could become so stiff until you tried caressing his cheek for the first time (while being in the dark of course, he's still trying to accept his body as it is).

Libido can vary between sentient magic beings. Plague Knight? His libido is nearly inexistent. All he knows is how to make potions and do crimes. This little fucker hasn't even experienced a handjob in his entire life, not even from his own hand. He has reached a new level of incel. You need to make the first move. What move? Who fucking knows, it can be getting him new potion ingredients (he might consider leaving your body explosion free for your apparent generosity), or maybe you're both nerds who enjoy discussing alchemy. Who knows, add some of your knowledge about creating gold out of lead, it might turn him on. His horniness translates into science, you struggle to find a way to fuck the alchemical bitch. They say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", but if the man in question is a bird-like alchemy enthusiast, you better go for potions. Has he ever made potions that affect sexual behavior? Aphrodisiacs? The Middle Ages’s alternative to Viagra? No one knows, actually, no one should.

Propeller Knight has no problems getting accustomed to his sexual needs and will find a way to quench his primal thirst. This man is labelled as a chad and so he shall be remembered, because he always knows how to get rid of the boner in the most pleasurable way possible. Still, he happens to find the foreplay quite... interesting. His voice becomes mellow and his gestures slow and kind, he's the type to push your lower back towards him as he holds your chin between his two fingers. He won't straight up ask you to bed him, he has manners and he does not want to ruin the poetic atmosphere, but sometimes his horniness will be so apparent that you'll find yourself blushing in embarrassment as his hands travel to places they normally wouldn't belong to.

Specter Knight might be laughably edgy, but Black Knight? He doesn't fuck around. Dubbed the Friendzone Knight by the Bard (who has luckily managed to escape his hot topic wrath), he lives up to his name. He's so sexually oppressed you might think that he's as mellow as a newborn duckling with no legs. Which has been justified by the fact that at times, he seems particularly determined to avoid your touches. He acts as if you're attempting to lay claim to his little edgy soul. Sometimes you find him brooding silently at the horizon. For a moment, you believe he's reminiscing about his tragic backstory, something along the lines of being rejected by his mother and living his lives with a pack of wolves. Then you realize that he's trying to suppress his boner. He avoids you like the plague.

Mole Knight, similarly to the two other sentient magic knights, does a bit of a better job at admitting his arousal and not breaking your pelvis. His flames are a clear, but unwilling, indicator of it. You have never seen them burn so bright before. They're dancing, scorching through the air itself as he awkwardly looms over you. He would try to bend. Though, he doesn't want to insult your short height, or burn you alive for that matter. He's awfully kind and polite, and most importantly: unfocused on his work. He'll try to pep in, subtly try to hint at spending some time together until you cut him off and kiss his helmet. The ordeal leaves a burn on your lips. Still, you're quite happy as long as he's not dying of heat. But that would be assuming that magic fire can be affected by it. He's literally on fire, what are you even thinking about. Though, the flames under his helm are soft and delicate and certainly not scorching. You haven't lost a body part... yet. You lick your lips as a reflex after feeling them burn a little, he ends up blushing even more and his magical boner is almost tangible. His instincts are screaming at him to jump on you but no, you're too precious for him and he would never do such a despicable thing to you - unless you consent of course. You'll need to ask him to bed you, and he'll be ready to run (more like wabble - he's massive) to the bedroom and spend some quality couple time with you.

Polar Knight hasn't gotten the privilege to get accustomed to his sexuality for a long time, being the coldest man you have ever known - at least on the outside, because you know that on the inside, he's certainly warmer than a couple of certified edgelords we all know. However, he still remains an incel. A silent, massive bearded incel. You'll find him to be quieter than usual (which is impressive if we consider that he established that record), and deep into a pensive state that may look similar to meditation. Leave him alone and he'll drive it away on his own, approach him and he'll look at you with such intensity that you'll think he either wants to murder you or fuck you all night long. Luckily for you, it happens to be the latter. He'll let his large hand loom over your shoulders, arms, hips; his gaze may leave yours but it will still be as intense. You can and will shiver when he'll finally place his lips against yours. -Mod Tinker and ~Mod Propeller

#shovelry #shovel knight #king knight #mole knight #tinker knight #specter knight #black knight #propeller knight #plague knight #polar knight #treasure knight

[binder-marquez]

Valentino’s special helmet is Viagra inspired, the power he holds

#motogp

[need-a-new-hobby]

Pleasure is my Business

It was another late night. Hotch smiled as he watched Piper playfully tug Spencer out of the office, childishly mocking his statistical citations while Penelope hooked her arm around Derek’s with Rossi, Emily and JJ making fun of the group as they walked to the elevator. But unlike them, who stuck together because they had no-one else, he did have a family. And that life had walked away from him. He settled back down into his chair and switched his laptop on. He opened the file Haley had sent him, watching his son ride his bike for the first time, desperately wishing he could be there. An open smile broke onto his face as his son said hi to him. When was the last time he’d said hi back, the last time he’d held his son? But the very reason he couldn’t was the same reason he couldn’t watch the rest of the video. A few weeks ago, it was a case in Alabama. Today, one in Dallas. And there would be another one tomorrow. And it would never stop. That’s how Hotch found himself in an SUV, not heading home, but headed to the airport. It’s how he found himself in Dallas, Texas in a pristine hotel, in front of another dead body. 

“The lawyers want it classified as a suicide. I’m hoping this consult will help buy us more time.”

“Well, first of all, no-one takes Viagra before committing suicide.” Hotch held up a packet with one gloved hand. “He have a wife?”

“Yeah, at home with the kids.”

“So, mistress or prostitute?”

“Agent Hotchner, what I'm about to tell you is confidential information. It's not to be included in any reports. Every Wednesday, Ashford withdrew $10,000 out of a fund in cash. Today was no different.”

“So, a high-end prostitute,” he concluded.

“We interviewed the valet, the concierge, no one saw her.”

“Well, that's not surprising. These women know how to be discreet.” Hotch ripped off his gloves as they walked to the elevator. “You said this isn’t the first?”

“No. We think it’s the second.”

“Well, I’m going to have to call my team.”

“Understood. Anything you need?”

“I just need a place for my team to set up and all your case files.”

“We don't have as much on Michael Stanton, but I'll send it over. I'll be in touch in the morning. Thank you, Agent Hotchner.” Hotch shook the detective’s hand before getting into the elevator with a young blonde woman, her hand resting on a suitcase.

“What floor?”

“Uh…16, thank you.” Hotch patiently watched the elevator doors, ignoring the woman standing slightly behind him.

“Long night?”

“Uh, kind of. Yeah.”

“Yeah. Me, too. These Tokyo markets are killing me.” The doors opened at her floor and she excused herself, wishing Hotch a good night as she dragged her suitcase over the lush carpeting, slowly unbuttoning her silk white blouse, exposing creamy white skin covered by black lace. Reaching up, she undid the tight, messy bun and waited for her client to open the door.

Meanwhile, Piper groggily answered her phone. “Hotch, it is 4 in the morning. Why are you still awake?”

“We have a case in Dallas. I’m already here.”

“Shit, did I miss the flight?”

“No. I was asked to come here personally, as a consult. The jet will be waiting at 7 to bring you all here.” Piper yawned.

“Okay. We’ll be there.” Piper turned her cell of, dumping it on the mattress before she padded over to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. By 6, she’d showered, grabbed breakfast and packed her bag and by 7, was on the jet, sitting opposite to Spencer and next to Emily. She was on her fourth cup of coffee by the time the others joined them, and they started discussing the case.

“Female serial killers are a fascinating field,” Spencer started. “We don't have much information on them, but what we do know involves throwing the rules completely out the window. Signature, for instance. They don't torture or take trophies. Murder is the goal.”

“Incidentally, the first recorded serial killers were women,” Piper remarked. “In ancient Rome, a group of women were rumoured to have been poisoning dozens of men. Livy staged a huge trial and had the women drink their own concoction since they claimed it was harmless.” Rossi stared at her and she apologised quickly. “Basically, women are more efficient at killing.”

“So, assuming that the job is the stressor, what are some of the reasons prostitutes kill their customers?” Derek put forward.

“Money, drugs, post-traumatic stress disorder,” Piper suggested.

“At some point, every call girl, no matter how well paid, gets coerced into an activity she didn't consent to,” Rossi added.

“Aileen Wuornos used to purposefully stage paid sexual encounters as an excuse to murder men she thought would rape her,” Emily suggested.

“But Wuornos was psychotic and disorganized. I think this girl's poisoning them before she has sex with them,” Hotch remarked from the laptop.

“She's using tetra-methylene-disulfotetramine. It's a popular rat poison in China, easily soluble in alcohol.”

“It’s the perfect MO. Quiet, quick…” Piper trailed off.

“And the victims never see it coming because they think they're getting lucky,” Rossi finished.

“At $10,000 a night, these men are paying for discretion as well as sex. She has a history with them. They see her repeatedly. She didn't decide to kill them in the moment. She walks in with the intent to kill them and she's doing it before she sleeps with them.”

“So, she's not just organized, she's also methodical. She decides early which one of her clients are worth killing,” Morgan noted. “Maybe the victims all share the same fetish.”

Piper sighed. “Both males were in their 50s, highly visible, both married a few times with kids. Maybe she was just repulsed by them.”

“And we're facing a corporate culture that'll do everything it can to keep us out,” Emily scoffed.

“Actually, I may have had some luck there,” JJ announced. “Hoyt Ashford’s wife wasn’t happy with how he died. But there’s another bad news. The hedge fund released a statement.” JJ passed over a printed document to Derek and Piper.

"Ashford died peacefully in his home, according to lawyer David Madison," Derek read out. Piper noticed Spencer’s eyebrows furrow.

“What’s up?”

“Does that language sound familiar to anyone else?” Spencer rummaged through his pile of papers before reading out another statement. “According to company lawyer, Stanton died peacefully in his home.”

“Sounds like the same person wrote it,” Hotch noted. As the plane hit the tarmac, Hotch told Prentiss and Morgan to start interviewing the wife and JJ to call both lawyers.

^-^

Derek sipped the glass of soda Mrs Ashford set on the table while Emily asked her questions. “We think your husband might have been targeted because of something... sexual he did with this call girl. We know this is hard, but is there anything you can tell us about what he liked?”

“In bed? I can sum it up in one word. Younger.”

“How much younger?”

“24, 25. It's... That was when I met him.”

“So, your age difference was part of the attraction?”

“Are you kidding? It was the whole relationship.”

“Mrs. Ashford, no offense, but... Your husband spent a lot of money on this woman. Was there anything else at all that he liked from a younger woman besides the ego boost?”

“There's a certain kind of man, agent, for whom the only kind of sex that matters is the ego boost. But in a marriage like ours, you have to work at it. Or in my husband's case...pay for it.”

Meanwhile, Hotch waited inside a hotel for the lawyers, and yet neither showed up. Instead, a middle-aged woman approached him, shaking his hand firmly as she introduced herself. “Ellen Daniels. Bardwell Consulting. They called me to consult on the press releases. My firm specializes in strategic risk management for firms around the city.”

“So, you're a problem solver.”

“And we have a mutual one, don't we?”

“Do you know who this girl is?”

“No. Well, one of your clients might. That's the point.”

“Well, they're not gonna open up to either one of us about it.”

“Then they're putting themselves at risk.”

“Yes, I understand that, but you see, my hands are tied. None of these men are going to admit that they have a professional girlfriend.”

“I can subpoena their financial records.”

“Then I would have to file about a year's worth of injunctions to stall you. Now, who needs that kind of hassle?”

“Ms. Daniels, this is not a game. I need a phone number, if not of this particular girl, then someone like her, someone we can talk to.”

“No escort will agree to sit down with the FBI. But I have something better for you, assuming you might be willing to overlook certain legal niceties.” The lawyer reached into her purse, pulling out a card. “Do you want to buy a house?”

“No.” Hotch kept his face neutral, attempting to analyse what she was offering him. She forced the card in his hands and her heels clicked against the marble floor. Hotch dialled Spencer, detailing the address and instructions.

^-^

Piper waited for Spencer to stumble off her bike, grabbing his arm before he fell off the curb. “You okay?” Her question was muffled by the helmet. “It takes a little getting used to.” He straightened his cardigan while Piper unbuckled her helmet, latching it around her bike handle.

“You know, there were 4,462 motorbike fatalities this year alone,” he said, watching her clip her hair up. “There’s also a reported 80% chance of injury or death on a motorcycle in the event of an accident compared to 20% in passenger vehicles.”

“And motorcycles are about twice as fuel efficient as cars.” Piper unhooked her leg from the bike. “Also, they were a massive part of Allied strategy in World War 1.” Her mouth drew into a line as they surveyed the house up for sale. “So, we’re supposed to meet a madam here?”

“Actually, there's a lot of overlap between real estate and sex work. Property is a safe and inspection-Free investment for large sums of cash. Your brownstone used to be owned by a gigolo.”

“That’s comforting,” she murmured as a middle-aged woman approached the two. “Hi, beautiful day, isn’t it?” Piper beamed at the woman while Spencer looked at Piper confusedly.

“Sorry, are you—”

“Isn't this neighbourhood just fabulous?” The woman interrupted Spencer, and he looked almost injured by her reaction. “And you're gonna love this house.” As they walked into the house, she murmured something to them. “You two need lessons in faking it. I teach a class.”

“Uh, I'm... I'm sorry. I just... I want to be clear,” Piper murmured as soon as the three were alone. “You are a madam, right? You arrange dates for escorts?”

“All I arrange are meetings. What happens between two consenting adults when that meeting is over is something that I'm not liable for. Now... who wants a scone?” The woman beamed before walking over to the sitting room. Spencer made a face quite similar to a polite cat and they walked over. While Piper munched on her scone, Spencer asked her the preliminary questions about the unsub killing these men. “Oh, yes. We all know about this woman. She's terrible for business.”

“I guess there's only so many men that can, uh, afford the service you provide.”

“Well, that's certainly true. But the way she's behaving, she's only hurting herself.”

“And why is that?”

“An escort's client list Is the most important investment she has. It's her daily income and her retirement package when she sells the list.”

“So, she isn't working with a service, is she? No madam would allow an escort to kill off the clientele.”

“What about the, um, type of work your employees do?” Piper choked as a deep blush entered his cheeks. “We're sort of operating under the assumption that this escort is, um, killing men who... make her perform a... specific sexual act.”

“What did you have in mind, sweetie?”

“I... I don't even... I don't know.” Piper swallowed both the scone and her giggle.

“I think what my colleague is trying to say is,” Piper amended as Spencer’s voice faltered. “Why would a man pay an escort 5 figures if it was just for sex?”

“Of course, you've got to be good in bed to be successful. But that's the easy part. What men want more than the no strings attached sex is a therapist. Someone who will absorb the worst parts of their personalities.”

“If I got paid 5 figures to be a therapist, I would not be here,” Piper murmured. “So, she isn’t killing men because of the sex.”

“I can tell you that if the sex was the reason why she was killing these men, she would have broken long before she charged $10,000.”

“So, it isn't how these men act in bed, it's how they act out of it,” Spencer surmised. They thanked the woman and as they left, Spencer noticed Piper’s lips quivering. “Go ahead. Laugh at me.” Piper stubbornly shook her head; afraid a laugh would bubble out if she even opened her mouth. She settled herself on the bike and felt a small flutter as Spencer’s hands lightly rested on her hips.

“Ready?”

^-^

Piper and Spencer filled the team in on their findings and one by one as the hours slipped past, each went back to their hotel rooms. First was JJ and Emily who had been forced out by Hotch after an attempted paper ball war. Next was Derek and Rossi who were sick of drinking coffee. Spencer nudged Piper whose head was resting on her palm, eyes fluttering closed and she agreed to leave before noticing Hotch still inside. She let Spencer wait outside for a minute while she checked on Hotch. “Hey, boss? You wanna come back to the hotel with us?”

“No, but you go ahead.” Piper was divided. On the one hand, she deeply cared for her boss. On the other, she wanted to keep her job.

“Hotch, don’t make me bring Spencer here to spout statistics on sleep deprivation. C’mon, your work can wait till morning.” His pen faltered as he remembered a memory, back when he was a lawyer.

“Aaron, come back to bed,” Haley begged, wrapping two arms around his neck. He felt her lips brush his hair, then his cheek. “Don’t make me tease you.”

“Haley, I have to get this—” His excuses melted away as her lips reached his ear. “Hales—” Her lips brushed against his neck and he surrendered as her lips sucked along his jawline. He turned, pulling her into his lap as his lips met hers, the case file left aside. He rose, her legs wrapped around his waist as he lowered her onto the bed—

“Hotch… You there?” He looked up, eyes meeting Piper’s gaze.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He closed his file, getting up to leave when his phone rang. “Yeah…No, I’m still at the precinct…Okay, we’ll be right there.” He closed his cell, slipping it into his pocket while Piper gazed at him expectantly. “There’s been another murder.”

“Okay, should we call in the team?”

“We’ll wait. Anyone else still here?”

“Just you, me and Reid. SUV’s waiting outside.”

^-^

Piper felt sick as she observed the slightly chubby man stripped to his underwear limp in his chair, a lipstick mark on both eyes in the shape of an ‘X’. “Apparently he was the CFO here.”

“Poisoned and staged. So much for no signature,” Piper scoffed.

“The lipstick’s new. Done postmortem,” Reid noted. “She wants to be noticed.” They turned to observe the commotion near the taped off area. The man barged through, asking for Aaron Hotchner before introducing himself as Larry Bartlett.

“I represent Mr. Fielding in Webster Industries.”

“This is a closed crime scene, Mr. Bartlett.”

“Yes. I spoke to Ellen Daniels. She said you're a very reasonable man.”

“Escort him out, please.”

“No, wait. Please. The press is outside, and they can smell blood. Any way we can handle this discreetly?”

“We're not about to lie for you,” Piper voiced.

“You don't have to lie. Just don't comment.”

“Excuse us,” Hotch said as he pulled Piper and Spencer aside. “Is there any reason to go public yet?”

“Validating her is exactly what she wants,” Spencer advised.

“If we hold back, she's more likely to make a mistake,” Piper surmised.

“He doesn't need to know that.” Piper tried not to beam at Hotch, and they returned to the lawyer.

“We need everything you have on Fielding. Bank accounts, tax records, emails, everything.” He made a show of thinking about Hotch’s deal before shaking his hand. Hotch offered to drive but Piper waved him off, saying she wanted to enjoy the quiet night air.

Aaron drove the SUV back to the hotel and dragged himself to the hotel room, knees buckling at the sight of a bed and despite his best wishes, he was knocked out on the mattress, not even bothering to change. Down the corridor, Emily, Piper and JJ played cards on JJ’s double bed, refusing to let Spencer join for his card counting ability despite his eager protests. Instead, the boys played a few rounds of poker before going off to bed.

Piper walked into the precinct, chatting with JJ about Henry, but their conversation halted as she saw Spencer and Hotch drowning in mountains of files. “This…is everything?”

“Yep!” Spencer was way too cheerful for a job this menial. But she held her tongue, instead gratefully accepting Emily’s coffee. She dumped her bag and started with the first file.

“What are we looking for?”

“Essentially, anything that tells us why he was murdered.” They worked in silence as Spencer devoured the files, his brain working overtime. It was at times like these where Hotch really appreciated the little genius, but the more they worked, the more he noticed Piper’s discomfort in dealing with numbers. Even though he was meant to be analysing his victim’s financial behaviour, he couldn’t help analysing Piper’s fidgeting or how she kept biting her lip. He desperately wanted to shake her, to drill into her head that her numeracy skills, or rather the lack of them, weren’t why she was on the team. Instead, he grabbed the file she was holding and asked her to write up notations on their victim’s behaviour. A complicated mixture of relief and sadness descended on her as she grabbed a marker and moved to the board. 18 cars, 6 houses, and 3 boats. Half a million for a BatCave. But her pen faltered, and she whirled around to face them. A question was formed but never spoken. Instead she rummaged through files for recognisable documents. A smile graced her face as she pulled out four marriage documents as well as a few birth certificates. “How’d we miss those?” JJ laughed at Spencer’s bemused face.

“Because we weren’t looking for them,” Piper beamed. “Did he spend money on any of them? Alimony, child support, anything?” Hotch smiled before Garcia spoke up over the answering machine.

“You know, considering that when Kevin takes me to dinner and a movie, he defaults on his student loans, this amount of money is sick.”

“What did you find?”

“Well, all 3 of our dearly departed rich guys were embroiled in bitter court battles over how much to pay in alimony and child support, and even when the court ruled in the wife's favour, which was almost always, these 3 charmers just, you know, decided not to pay.”

“Garcia, can you generate a list of high-profile Dallas CEOs who are holding out on their ex-wives?”

“One loaded losers list, Dallas edition, comin' at ya. Penelope out.”

“So, why would a prominent businessman who could easily pay child support refuse to?” Emily asked the group from her seat opposite Hotch.

“For this type of overachieving personality, paying money after the marriage ends probably offends him,” Spencer noted, nodding sadly.

“They're spending tens of thousands on an escort, but they won't drop a dime on their wife and kids? That's cold.” JJ just shook her head.

“Narcissistic, self-absorbed, a pathological avoidance of paternal responsibilities,” Piper mused. “Meanwhile, most prostitutes come from broken homes, she's listening to pillow talk. Could serve as some sort of trigger.”

“How their ex-wives are cheating them out of money,” Hotch followed along. “How their kids are nagging them. Everything that these men take for granted and that she never had.”

“Well, should I assemble the police for a profile?”

“I just don't think it's gonna help. She lives in a completely different world than they do.”

“Same with the news-watching public,” Emily added. “And the CEOs who sleep with her won't admit to it.”

“Like I could even get past the team of lawyers protecting them.”

“What if we give the profile to the corporate lawyers?” The group looked at Piper and Hotch turned the thought over in his head.

“They've cleaned up after her, even if they don't realize that they've seen this woman. Because every time we've approached them, they've circled the wagons.”

“What makes you think this is going to be any different?”

“Because she's putting them at risk, too.”

^-^

The BAU was scattered around the large conference room as the lawyers gathered in the room, Ellen Daniels in front of them all. Poetically fitting, Piper thought as she leaned against the wall to ceiling window, watching Hotch start delivering their profile. “We're looking for a white woman between the ages of 25 and 30. She's paid between 10- and $15,000 per session, and she's very well versed in the world of money and privilege.”

“Even though she's a call girl, she doesn't look like one,” Emily continued. “She could pass as a businesswoman or a co-worker.”

“You've probably written up her personal expenses as losses. Shoes, jewellery, clothing. Your bosses pay her in cash, but they may also be paying her in other ways...” Spencer added. “Taking care of her, a new car, paying for her medical bills, even.”

“She probably didn’t grow up with a father figure, and she’s now turning that rage toward clients who walk out on their families,” Piper finished, waiting for a lawyer with a raised hand to ask their question.

“What's going to happen once this woman is caught?”

“She'll be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” Hotch answered.

“What about the other men she's sleeping with, the ones she doesn't kill? Will they be prosecuted?”

“Right now, we're concentrating on stopping her from killing again.”

“That's all well and good, but our employers are going to ask us about the risks involved in cooperating with an FBI investigation.”

“Tell your employers that the risk is not only a physical one. She's compromising privileged information as well. After she sleeps with these men, they talk to her. It's part of the release they get in seeing her.”

“All that dirty laundry you've worked so hard to cover up...” Emily continued. “She knows it. As long as she's out there, it's not just your clients that are vulnerable. Your firms are, too.” A young woman in the back raised her hand, stepping forward.

“Excuse me. I'm Allison Barnes. I'm a lawyer at Webster Industries where Joseph Fielding worked.” Her superior attempted to hush her but Hotch stepped in.

“We'd like to hear what she has to say. Go ahead, Ms. Barnes.”

“A while back, I, um, looked at some paperwork that Mr. Fielding filed about a penthouse downtown. I asked him what he'd be using it for, and he just kind of chuckled and said it was for a friend. Is that the kind of information you're looking for?” JJ stepped forward to ask if she had an address and as soon as they did, they moved quickly to the SUVs. Piper strapped on her vest as the others moved off in their SUVs and plugged the communications mic in her ear before starting her bike, roaring towards the hotel downtown. She skidded to a stop just next to Dave and Derek before hopping off and double checked her gear. She pocketed the keys as Hotch’s SUV pulled up and they moved in on the penthouse. They cleared the rooms quickly and Piper holstered her gun, walking over to the bookshelf. Meanwhile, Derek and Emily covered her bedroom.

“You got anything?”

“She’s too smart to leave receipts lying around.”

“Yeah. Ruins the mystique,” Derek scoffed as he opened the wardrobe. “She’s gotta be whatever the customer wants.”

“Hey, look at this.” He turned and walked over to Emily who stood near the vanity with a small ring. “There’s a lot of high-end jewellery here and then there’s this.”

“It’s way too small to be an adult’s,” Derek said, holding up the ring on his pinkie finger. She probably kept it from her childhood.”

“Oh, it's a purity ring.” Emily’s voice turned soft. “By wearing it, you promise to save yourself for marriage.”

“She broke that promise a long time ago.” Derek turned back to the wardrobe, smirking as he called out Emily’s name. She walked over as he held out the black leather lingerie to Emily’s body. “Got a whip?” Emily swatted him and walked outside to Piper who was engrossed in a leatherbound novel.

“You find something?”

“Yeah, antique first editions. Voltaire in French too. Lady’s got taste.” Piper looked up at Emily. “A serial killer, yes, but with great literary taste.”

“Anything else?”

“Umm… he was a spy for the French government for a brief period, but he wasn’t very good at it. Frederick the Great caught on very—”

“About the unsub, Piper?”

“Oh. Well, like I said. Good literary taste and she probably didn’t fake it. See the cracked spines. Definitely read it a few times.”

“Meaning she’s well-educated. Maybe even came from money the whole time.” The ring came from behind Emily and Piper tilted her body around her to see the machine ring before yelling for Hotch as a child would when they broke something. The team circled around the machine like it was the first time they’d seen one. Derek dialled Garcia. Emily stood by, letting the phone go to voicemail. The expected beep came and went, and an almost bored voice sang through the telephone.

“Aaron. I know you're up there. Pick up. Aaron Hotchner.” Without hesitation, he picked up.

“Hello?” The team couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation and so, as expected, the conversation became very confusing, very quickly. “I'm at a disadvantage. You seem to know my name, but I don't know yours. Can we start there? Who says you can't? No... it’s flattering to be noticed by a woman like you…But I've disappointed you, haven't I? Just like all the other men in your life who've walked out on their families, who deserve to be punished…No…my wife left me…I have a son…I try to see him every week…I try to see him every week…No, I don't get there as often as I want…How am I a whore?” Piper raised her eyebrows to Rossi who looked just as perplexed as she did. Derek urged Garcia to work faster, signalling that she needed more time.  “But I'm just frustrating you, aren't I? Well, you want to show the world all these bad men and my investigation's just getting in your way… I'm only interested in finding you. You've been betrayed so many times, you don't know who to trust, and that's why that first murder felt so good. But each one since has been less and less satisfying. You know that's going to continue. Am I right?... Come to me and turn yourself in. I will make sure that you get the help you need. I won't let you disappear.” Hope swelled in Piper’s chest as Derek mouthed to Hotch. Just a little longer. But before he could utter another word, he heard a gunshot resound in the distance. “Hello?” But the line was dead, and so was someone else.

^-^

Piper paced in the penthouse while Spencer watched her. “Piper…”

“No. Someone else is dead and it’s—”

“It’s not your fault, Pipes.” She whirled around to face him.

“Isn’t it? It’s our responsibility to protect these people. Except people are dying and for the life of me, I can’t figure it out.” She breathed in deeply, trying not to cry. She walked out onto the balcony, gazing down at the people below.

“Sonder.” Piper looked at Spencer lean against the railing next to her, her honey brown eyes falling to his amber ones. “The realisation that each random passer-by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” Piper smiled softly. Only he could do that. “We’ll figure it out. As a team. Because that’s how we work best.” Piper closed her eyes, letting the wind whip at her hair. For just a moment, Spencer caught the exact snapshot of serenity, memorising it before it was over. She breathed in deeply then turned around to face Spencer, determination etched on her face.

“Can we listen to the audio?”

They huddled next to Piper’s laptop, listening intently to the unsub’s voice. “Her use of the word whore is interesting.”

“To say the least. I mean who looks at Hotch and goes, that’s a whore.” Spencer snorted quietly.

“I meant that it suggests she's trying to disassociate herself from her actions.”

“Except she's become more personal with the murders. She's changed her MO from poison to a gun.” Spencer nodded. “And she changed her victimology. Trent Rabner was faithful to his wife until she died. They didn't have kids.”

“Her whole justification for who's worth killing and who isn't is gone. She's obviously devolving,” Spencer noted, nodding.

“This is going to get ugly. She could go on a spree and take out anyone she sees as a target.” Spencer’s eyes glazed over, as they did when he thought too hard.

“The purity ring Emily found... she said it was tiny?”

“Only a little girl could wear it. She wouldn't buy that for herself. It was a gift.”

“Maybe she was given it by her father.”

“Well, if her father was anything like these CEOs, he probably walked out on her, too.” Spencer got up, starting to pace and Piper leaned back against the plush sofa as she watched.

“Ok, so, you're rich, you decide to start sleeping with men who are like your father to get back at him. How do you go about finding clients?”

“Could she have started with the service?”

“She wouldn't need to. Remember the madam said that she trains these girls how to act around these men? This unsub already knows how to do that.”

“She said something else, too. She said that your client list was like your 401k. You sell it when you retire. So maybe our unsub bought her client list from another call girl.”

“It makes sense. They're expensive names. Only someone who came from money could afford it.” Piper grabbed her cell to call Hotch, updating him on the new profile. She put the cell back in her pocket.

“Hotch will give us the address when he gets it from Daniels. Coffee?” The two packed their things and went downstairs to the café across the street.

Meanwhile, Hotch and Rossi glared down at Ellen Daniels who sat in the armchair in their office. “You're kidding.”

“You keep tabs on who your clients sleep with. You know who got out of the game,” Rossi stated bluntly.

“You're asking me to violate attorney-client privilege.”

“We're asking you to help us catch a killer.”

“Well, let's say that your profile is correct, and she is the daughter of my client. If I do this, I'm gonna need immunity on the back end.” Rossi looked to Hotch who was as grim as always. “Come on, boys, give it up. I mean, you two know how this game is played.”

“Yes, we do. So, here's the deal.” Hotch’s voice was calm and tempered, threat gently laced in his words. “Give us the information we want, or I'll arrest you on the spot for obstruction of justice. And while you're sitting in Dallas central booking waiting to make your one phone call, I'll have the entire white-collar division from the FBI here from Quantico, and they'll turn your offices upside down until we find what we want. That's my offer.” He grabbed the file on his desk and walked out, leaving Rossi with Ellen. Unwillingly, she gave him the address.

^-^

Piper let the helmet slide off her head, her hair wispy underneath. She tied it quickly with the elastic Spencer offered as they approached the door. They pulled out their badges simultaneously, asking for Katherine. Piper smiled at a little boy bounding over to his mother. “Oh, honey, go play with your toys, ok? Come in.”

“Thank you.” Piper and Spencer gave her the profile and Katherine sighed.

“Her name’s Megan. Megan Kane.”

“And her father was a client of yours?”

“Andrew. He was one of my 8 regulars. He's a VP at Ebbett Oil now, I think. I saw him for 6 years.”

“And does your son—”

“No. After I retired, I... wanted something good in my life.”

“6 years is a long time to see one call girl,” Spencer commented.

“Most men only have room for one affair at a time.”

“How did Megan know about you?”

“Andrew left his wife because of me. Of course, he... married someone else, but... I wasn't surprised.”

“You must have been surprised she wanted your list. Megan had all kinds of opportunities in life. Didn't you wonder why she wanted to follow your career path?”

“Megan didn't want to be a call girl. She wanted me to go away. She said that after I ruined her parents' marriage That I ruined her life, too. She bought my list so that nobody else would.” Piper nodded, getting up slowly.

“Thank you so much for all your help.” The little boy came running back, hugging his mother’s leg. Piper leaned down, gently bopping his nose. “Take care of your mom, she’s one in a million.” She straightened and they left the house.

By the time they returned to the precinct, they had a brief background of Megan. “So, here’s what we know,” Derek started as they returned. “Parents divorced 8 years ago. After the divorce, she travelled internationally.”

“We're not sure when she came back,” Emily continued. “But she kind of fell off the grid, which is easier to do when you're making tens of thousands of dollars a night.”

“Garcia put a trace on her father, communications, accounts, the whole nine.” JJ leaned back in her chair. “I also forwarded the picture to Dallas PD and upscale hotels,” she directed to Hotch who stared with startling recognition at the woman projected on the screen.

“I saw her 2 nights ago in the elevator of my hotel. Call Ebbett Oil. Tell Andrew Kane I need to meet with him as soon as possible.” Piper glanced at her wristwatch as Hotch left.

“Lunch anyone?”

“I know a place,” Rossi provided. He pulled out his own cell to put in an order. Hotch returned a few hours later and Piper pointed him over to a gnocchi dish on the table.

“We have a tail on Kane at his home and office,” Hotch updated through large bites of pasta.

“We sure this is gonna work?” Derek asked him.

“He knows where Megan is. He'll contact her. To protect his reputation if nothing else,” Hotch sighed deeply, finishing his lunch in a little under 4 minutes flat. While Derek timed Piper and Emily’s race on how fast they could finish their Cokes, Garcia called them with an update.

“Andrew Kane just reserved a room at the Wilmore Hotel, Room 2257 to be exact. Can I get an ick-ick-icky on making an appointment with your own daughter?”

“Megan won't show up until she's sure Kane's there,” Rossi added as Piper lost the race. Emily gave out a burp and JJ laughed, passing her a napkin. “Maybe we should’ve thought twice about adopting them.”

“You make it sound like it was a choice,” Aaron smirked before telling JJ to make sure nobody moved until they got there. Piper and Emily changed into their formal wear despite protests on Rossi not needing to change. His rebuttal was that he always wore Italian suits. There was nothing to change into. Emily switched into a stunning ruffled black dress with a single shoulder. Piper had learnt from her last undercover encounter and changed into a comfortable midnight blue wrap dress. She fixed her thigh holster, checking with Emily that it wasn’t visible. They drove together before walking separately to the hotel and settling casually into their positions. Hotch entered in his usual two-piece suit, eyes inconspicuously sliding from Rossi at the bar with a glass of whiskey, then Piper with her back to the corner with a champagne flute and as he made his way to the elevator, he glanced to Emily at the back entrance playing pool. He walked into the security room to find Spencer watching the front entrance far too closely than necessary. He sighed internally at the ineptitude of his two agents. Looks like Dave was right about that bet. “Reid, what do we have?”

“I haven't seen Kane or his daughter down here.”

“There's a lot of entrances. We could have missed one,” Hotch said pointedly and Spencer was smart enough to redden slightly.

“Um… Morgan’s waiting inside the hotel room.” As though on cue, his voice erupted irritably through the mics.

“Guys, he didn’t show up. Daniels did.”

“Derek, if you’re suggesting I had to wear this dress for nothing, I will—”

“Ah, c’mon angel. Not for nothing. Me and Pretty Ricky don’t always get to see you all dolled up.” Spencer blushed again and he watched Piper struggle to hold back a smile.

“You know what, Derek, I’m gonna go tell Penelope that you secretly hate her food and watch as she destroys you.”

“Ouch. You hurt me angel.” Spencer and Hotch left the hotel to the van, joined shortly by Daniels followed by Derek being whacked by Piper, then Emily and Rossi.

“There are 4 luxury hotels in the area that the unsub frequents,” Hotch noted to the team. “We could split up, but we'll go in blind.”

“Ivory marble,” Spencer added. “She mentioned it on the phone. The men who walk through the ivory marble foyer.”

“The Chase Regent,” Ellen piped up from behind.

“Are you sure?”

“Andrew liked it there.” Hotch started driving towards the Chase Regent, navigated by Spencer who yelled out directions. They got there too late, the van pulling up to the hotel as JJ organised a perimeter from their base. They split into pairs, Bishop and Reid with logistics, the rest dividing into two groups taking the floors one by one from top to bottom. By the fifth room, Derek kicked the door in while Hotch raised his firearm, dropping it to his side at the sight of the petite blonde sitting placidly on a lounge chair in the balcony, an empty champagne flute next to her.

“We’re too late,” Morgan said and Hotch walked over to the young woman.

“Nothing will change,” she said, unprompted as Hotch walked over. “They'll just go back to doing whatever they want and keep getting away with it.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it.”

“Who was it who said, "you don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to leave afterwards"?”

“It was Dashiell Hammett.”

“It doesn't make sense. The men always leave first.” She sighed deeply, handing over a SIM card to Hotch. “I'd give anything to see his face right now.” Hotch took it, holding her hand. “How could your wife have ever left someone like you? You're the first man I ever met who didn't let me down.” She turned to him. “Will you stay with me?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” And so, he held her hand as it went limp in his.

#criminal minds #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #aaron hotch hotchner #bau #bau x oc #agent derek morgan #criminal minds x oc #morgan #garcia #jareau #aaron hotchner #agent prentiss #agent jareau #agent hotchner #agent morgan #agent garcia #agent rossi #dr reid #dr spencer reid #dr piper bishop #baby girl #spencer reid x oc #reid x oc #hotchner #emily prentiss #emily #prentiss #fluff

[shealynn88]

It’s Hump Day! Have some DeanBenny Hump, with minor whump.

~Your DB Secret Scribe

~Love Potion #9.5~

Star date: 2706.08.22

Neptune Quadrant 

  “Been eight years since I was on Galatea in the Purgatory Caverns and spotted this blossom.” Benny stepped off the transport platform, following Dean onto shore, leading to the caverns’ entrance. 

  Dean’s stomach had Ganymedean butter bees floating around inside. Over the years, he thought he’d seen traces of his feelings, echoed back in Benny’s pale blue, beautiful eyes. Yet neither had had the courage to venture into that uncharted territory. 

  Seemed like yesterday since graduating from Europa and Benny scored that internship on the Neptune moon of Galatea, where he’d taken those groundbreaking shots of the rare plant they currently sought for study. 

  The Galatean Blossom was named for the Greek sea nymph in which Cyclops had fallen for, and only grew in the caverns found on the farthest edge of the moon’s ocean below the surface. The caverns were so richly oxygenated, he and Benny easily walked among the blossom fields without helmets. With their sterile field barge floating behind them, they tiptoed through the tulips as it were, marveling at the caverns’ array of bioluminescent botanical species. The air was cool, yet humid, and the sweet, tropical scent was reminiscent of Earth’s Polynesian Hibiscus and mango. 

  Spotting a perfectly symmetrical blossom, Dean ambled up with his aluminum trowel, carefully digging in the rough soil around the stem. Cautiously prying the roots free from the finer soil beneath, he then marched towards the barge and tripped over something scurrying at his feet. Dean fell face first into the path of a Hippocampean Felossum. The creature was possum-cat-esque in nature, which the citizens of Earth found utterly adorable, but had Dean sneezing his ass off. 

  When falling over, Dean was unaware the ovules in the plant had filled its ovary and made their way up through the pollen tube. When sneezing, he’d accidentally compressed the blossoms’ pistil, sending its pollen shooting into the air, surrounding he and Benny. 

  “Don’t that beat all, just look at their multiplication rate.” Benny’s face was covered in the glowing pollen speckles replicating in the air. 

  Dean noticed an odd feeling in his suit, as if given hormonal agents via IV push. His eyes dilated uncomfortably and an electric shock jolted directly to his dick. Looking at Benny, his friend appeared to experience the same. He was hunched over, sporting a suspiciously large bulge in his second skin environmental suit.

  What’ve I done? Dean righted himself and approached Benny, who held onto the cavern wall. The scorching gaze meeting Dean was that of a man who could no longer refrain from something. 

  “You alright?” Dean queried in genuine concern.

  “I..uh..I..”

  Both moved closer, into each other’s personal space like magnets. 

  “Sorry, must be from the blossom. Can’t help it..you need to know th-”

  Dean cut him off with a carnal kiss, one which simmered from years of yearning. His body sang with relief, feeling Benny’s craving mirrored right back. Refusing to break the kiss, they peeled their suits off of each other.

  Reaching for a thermal comforter from the field barge, Benny lay it down and pressed him onto its pleasant buoyancy. With his knees already falling wide, Dean welcomed the euphoric sensation of Benny’s cock, drenched in precum, rutting in primal need against his own. This wouldn’t be the slow, sweet lovemaking Dean envisioned so many times before. Nevertheless, the fierce passion they were feeling for each other now was what he’d felt all along, just magnified.

  Dean was vaguely aware of how the light from each fleck of pollen particle refracted light from the others, like tiny rainbow snowflakes settling around them. They seemed to pulse with the building pressure between them, and both gasped into each other’s mouths when coming so hard they saw stars, then nearly lost consciousness. 

  Normally, Dean would be grasping for the nearest towel or whatever to wash off the absolutely inhuman amount of cum coating their stomachs and chests. And yet, he found himself enjoying the feeling of it absorbing into their skin when lazily rubbing against each other in post orgasmic bliss. 

  Seconds later, Dean felt ready for another round. Evidently so did Benny, now kissing a Milky Way star map down his abdomen. The second he swallowed him down, Dean refused to miss out on the fun. He impatiently pointed to Benny’s raging hard on and fussed, “Gimme, c'mon.”

  Time lost all meaning. If someone said they’d made each other cum a whopping 69 times, it’d be no surprise to him. He could recall being coated with the blossom’s pollen, it being massaged everywhere. And when Benny could no longer move, Dean happily gave him an exhausted, but enthusiastic hand. 

  “Base to Team 8, are you there?”

  Dean couldn’t be sure how many times he’d heard the query in his cochlear implant. Pressing his lobe he replied, “Team 8 to base, what time is it?”

  “You’ve been down there forty eight hours, Sir.”

  Oh shit.

  “Sorry, problem with comms, seems good now.”

  Benny sat up, examining himself and Dean. Yep, they were a mess. 

  “Think we’ve found the solution to Erectile Dysfunction,” Dean nervously joked to break the tension,“no more Viagra 3,000.”

  Benny appeared on the verge of panic, none the wiser as clumps of pollen and blossom stamens comically wreathed his head like a crown.

  “Relax, Prince Benjamin of the Kuiper Bayou Belt, I’m okay. You?”

  “S-so sorry,” he choked out.

  “I’m not,” Dean rested an assuring hand on his arm, “Been wanting that with you for a long time. Maybe not making up for all eight years at once .. What were you saying before this,” Dean gestured between the two of them, “went nuclear?”

  “You’re really okay?” The guy looked so full of worry, Dean began to panic himself. Was what happened here something he really regrets? 

  “Look, I know I say I’m fine a lot, even when I’m not. But believe the jubilant after glow I’ve got all over my face..and a ton of..you.” He started wiping the mess out of Benny’s beard. 

  A softness fell over Benny. “Was trying to say I’ve been in love with you for years.”

  Dean’s heart kicked into overdrive with happiness. 

  “Wasn’t just the pollen’s effects, although it surely was a shove." 

  Dean stood, extending his hand to Benny. "Let’s bag some samples and get topside for a shower. Don’t know about you, but I could use a nap.”

  “As long as I can sleep with you, Cher. You’re Sleeping Beauty himself,” Benny laughed, brushing the who-the-fuck-knew-what outta Dean’s hair. 

This is PERFECTION!  OMG, I love it - that they’re pining idiots, OF COURSE, but I ADORE the sci-fi details you wove in, LOVE that, and the sex pollen -YES, a classic, and a wonderful one.  I loved all the Purgatory references, the sweetness, the hotness - marvelous, thank you, thank you!!   And I’m sorry I didn’t post, I know you were having issues and wanted to be sure they were resolved.  Rest assured, I love this to BITTTTSSSS!!

#deanbenny love week #my fabulous anon #thank you #thank you!! #hot #denny #submission

[petercushing]

Tagged by @babypaulchen, thanks once again sdhfsfsdf!

Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping!

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds- Wanted Man

System Of A Down- Chop Suey!

Queen- I Want To Break Free

Fleetwood Mac- Hold Me

Tool- (-) Ions

Bauhaus- Spirit

Tool- Prison Sex

David Bowie- The Man Who Sold the World

Viagra Boys- Special Helmet

Sonic Youth- Sunday

I tag @till-hammer and @clandestine-intestine

#tag game #mmmmmm