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ghostinthelibrarywrites · 2 years

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has anybody asked about warlord yennefer yet???

Warlord Yennefer is a nine months late (and counting) birthday fic for a very patient friend!

The concept is that Yennefer is a witcher who was pissed off when Queen Kalis and her kid were killed while Yennefer was protecting them, so she took over Aedirn and Lyria (and then Kaedwen and Caingorn for good measure.) Jaskier is her court mage and sometimes-lover. Geralt is the prince of Rivia who Yennefer gets betrothed to, because his daughter is the heir to the Cintran throne. In the days leading up to their wedding, it becomes clear that someone is trying to sabotage the impending nuptials. It's endgame Geraskefer with a focus on Yenralt and Yennskier.

Snippet under the cut!

“This would have been faster if you’d just portaled them here,” Yennefer grumbles.

Next to her, Jaskier sighs. “I did offer, but apparently your betrothed despises portals.”

“Not my betrothed yet.”

“Well, you have at least one thing in common. Weak constitutions when it comes to portals.”

“I’ll show you a weak constitution.”

On her other side, Tissaia clears her throat pointedly. The head of the School of the Raven doesn’t need to speak to make herself clear: “This is supposed to be a dignified affair, so stop squabbling.” As the Warlord of the North, Yennefer definitely outranks her. She still falls silent, shooting Jaskier a dirty look, which he returns with an insufferable grin. He’s wearing his favorite cloak, a blue velvet monstrosity with gold tassels and embroidered stars. She’d gotten it for him as a joke, pilfered from the late court mage of Caingorn’s wardrobe. But Jaskier knows no shame and loves to torment her, so he now wears it to all formal functions.

Yennefer does not know why she allows this man into her palace, never mind her bed.

The procession of Rivian diplomats approaches, flanked by the four witchers that Yennefer sent to escort them. She doesn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to attack a diplomatic convoy entering her territory, but her enemies never fail to shock her with their spectacularly bad sense. Her gaze flicks between the diplomats, taking each of them in dispassionately. They’re almost entirely middle aged men, their fear reeking nearly as much as the Metinnan roses. Most of them can’t even look at her.

And then her gaze falls on the one man in the group who doesn’t look like he’s about to faint, shit himself, or both. The prince of Rivia is almost too pretty, with long red hair pulled back into a ponytail, bright green eyes that survey the line of witchers with interest, and a scattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. There’s discomfort evident in the tension of his shoulders, but that doesn’t seem to be the terror of his companions. It seems more like he would vastly prefer to not have dozens of eyes on him.

“Well, hello,” Jaskier murmurs and Yennefer can’t help but agree.

The prince’s eyes meet hers and Yennefer doesn’t think she imagines the spark of interest in them. He bows, low enough to show respect, but not so low that he’s practically folded in half, like his companions. The fourth son of the Rivian queen should most likely bow lower to the Warlord of the North, but Yennefer isn’t in the mood to quibble about such things.

Yennefer approaches the group of Rivians, keeping her pace unhurried. She has her swords strapped to her back, but she keeps her hands at her sides, far from any weapons. Still, the Rivian guards go noticeably tense and one of the diplomats’ teeth begins chattering so hard, it’s probably audible even to human senses. Eskel, one of the witchers she sent to Rivia, shoots her an exasperated look, as if to ask why she’s purposefully riling up the humans.

The prince just watches her approach with a carefully neutral expression. He has a face well-suited for politics; it gives little away. Only the tiniest quirk of his lips shows that he’s amused.

“You must be Prince Geralt.” Yennefer doesn’t bother being subtle about looking him up and down. This is her palace, after all.

He inclines his head in a nod. “Think Wilhelm was about to introduce me.” He nods to the man with the chattering teeth. “Once he gets his wits together.”

Wilhelm gulps visibly. “Your Highness—”

Prince Geralt holds up a hand to silence the man.

“Do your people think we’d invite you into our home for negotiations, only to turn on you?” Yennefer asks.

Geralt raises an eyebrow. “That is what you did to the King of Caingorn.”

Yennefer has to concede that point. “The King of Caingorn was an idiot who tried to have me assassinated in my own palace. I trust I won’t have that issue with you.”

“If I was going to get myself killed trying to assassinate you, I wouldn’t put myself through a wedding first,” Geralt says, then must realize how that sounded. He winces. “Hm.”

Yennefer can’t help it. She laughs. “Not much for weddings?”

He ducks his head, a flush coloring his cheeks. It’s incredibly charming. “They’re fine, except the people.”

“Well, it’s lucky for you that no one is going to want to attend a witcher’s wedding.”

Ask me about my WIPs!

#the witcher #geraskefer #warlord!Yennefer #ask games #ghost's writing

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thedemonofcat · 6 days

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Inspired by The Accidental Warlord and his pack, this tale originally casts Vessimer as the warlord after the Sacking of Kaer Morhen, with Geralt chosen as his heir.

When Geralt was young, freshly made into a Witcher, he met another boy, Prince Julian of Lettenhove. The plan was for Geralt and Julian to marry one day, uniting their realms into a new kingdom.

At first, their relationship was awkward, but Geralt and Julian soon developed a strong friendship. The wolf within Geralt began to see Julian as his mate.

One winter, devastating news arrived: Lettenhove had been attacked, and the entire royal family, including Julian, had been killed.

Heartbroken, Geralt spent most of his time on the path, trying to avoid any memories of Julian.

Years later, in a tavern, Geralt encounters a bard named Jaskier, who has no memory of his past. Jaskier is enslaved by a mage, typically kept in the form of a bird and only returned to human form for specific tasks.

Something about Jaskier feels strangely familiar to Geralt.

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inexplicifics · 10 months

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will Yen ever meet her person 🥺

Sooner or later Ealdred is going to actually say something, and I think Yen is going to think about it for a while and then decide that he's a gentleman and a sweetheart and thinks she hung the moon and all the stars, and she will keep him, thank you very much.

#questions answered #accidental warlord au #yennefer

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incorrect-accidental-warlord · 6 months

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Yennefer: I have the worst taste in men. If I've ever liked you, please work on yourself.

#yennefer of vengerberg #the witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #awau #incorrect accidental warlord au #Source: twitter

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ladyannemarie5 · 11 months

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Ok, so, have you read the Warlord Geralt trope created by inexplicifics?

Well, imagine this Radskier/Geraskier version

After the mountain and finding Ciri, Geralt becomes the Warlord to keep the princess safe and unite all witchers to protect non-humans.

Geralt gains status and power which forces him to maintain alliances with the other neighboring kingdoms, including of course Redania.

Redania has a new king after Vizimir died without leaving heirs, leaving his younger brother, Prince Radovid, on the throne along with Prince Consort Julian.

Geralt and his entourage (Eskel, Lambert, Yennefer, Aiden, Vesemir, etc) arrive at the Redanian court to discover that Julian, the prince consort, is none other than Jaskier, the bard Geralt had desperately sought after becoming the Warlord.

And then... DRAAAAAAAAMAAAAA

#please someone write this #jaskier #the witcher #radovid #geraskier #ao3 fanfic #ao3fic #fanfiction #fanfiction ideas #radskier #geralt #warlord Geralt #the witcher prompts

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burntheedges · 1 month

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hihihi!!! congratulations on 600!! so deserved 🥹

could I ask for a 📜 fic rec but I happened to see that you included the witcher on the list and PLEASE the way that I am down bad for geralt

have a lovely day!! xx

hi liv!! thank you!! 🧡

oh I am so happy to rec you some Witcher fics! I wasn't sure what you might like so I went for a range? most of the fics I've read are Geralt/Jaskier but I threw in some others. I love all of these.

...

Do It Again by thisgirlsays22 rated E, Geralt/Jaskier, 6.7k words

By the twentieth time Geralt has gone through the loop, he decides to just throw himself off the cliff’s edge after Borch. He wakes up to his twenty-first attempt. “Fuck.”

makes the heart grow fonder by fallingintodivinity rated E, Geralt/Jaskier, 5.8k words

“Ah!” says the innkeeper, as the rowdy crowd finishes singing a song about Geralt’s heroics and segues seamlessly into a saccharine love ballad about the fairytale romance between the daughter of a baron and a lowly bard. “This song, it’s by the very same bard who sang those songs about you, Master Witcher! So in love, he is, with his beautiful lady.” “Oh, it’s so romantic,” sighs the barmaid dreamily. “That handsome bard, marrying a noble lady!” Geralt squints up at them doubtfully. “This…bard,” he says. “Dark hair, blue eyes, never shuts up?” “Aye,” the innkeeper says. “That’s the one.”

I haven't read this one but I have heard it's good:

Silver and Magic by Dragon_Dweller rated E, Geralt/reader, 98k

You're a Sorceress, Healer and occasional Monster Hunter, who meets the Witcher, Geralt of Rivia, when you're in the middle of fighting a Bruxa. Neither of you expected your paths to cross again...or where that path takes you both together!

and this one is more of an entire AU world the author has created -- the series has 47 works and they aren't all about Geralt and Jaskier. There's a Discord server for it. It basically asks, what if the witchers decided monsters could also come in the shape of men?

The Accidental Warlord and His Pack series by inexplicifics rated E overall, many pairings, 627k words

First work in the series: With a Conquering Air rated E, Geralt/Jaskier, 27.8k

From the kinkmeme: AU Warlord!Geralt receives Tribute!Jaskier as a sacrifice to appease him in every way possible. Jaskier has no choice on the matter and he’s fully aware of the awful rumours that have spread about Geralt and his ruthless conquests. (But we all know those aren’t legit.) A classic angst with a happy ending please! A dash of smut to heal those scars and a sprinkle of new found love! Jaskier arrives at Kaer Morhen knowing his family gave him up without a second thought, and absolutely sure that the dreaded Warlord of the North will value him even less than his own blood did. But the White Wolf and his pack are not what Jaskier expected...and if he's unreasonably lucky, Kaer Morhen might become far more of a home than Lettenhove ever was. ...He is, in fact, going to be unreasonably lucky, because the Warlord of the North is a far finer monarch - and a far better man - than Redania's king has ever dreamed of being.

And a few more of my favs:

The god of scraped knees. by spqr rated M, Geralt/Jaskier, 8.3k

Jaskier’s been pretending to be human for so long now that he hardly remembers what it feels like to be a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to remember what it feels like to be a sorcerer. But people still murmur his name with reverence in certain dim halls; Dandelion, Dandelion, destroyer of worlds.

can i offer you a little salt for that wound by ShanaStoryteller not rated, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, 14.5k

Two months after Geralt breaks up with him, Jaskier runs into Yennefer at Coachella. “Oh fuck no,” she says, which he thinks is pretty fucking unfair, all things considered.

you follow? series by shortcrust rated T, Geralt/Jaskier, overall 3.6k

epistolary fic in tweets/etc. - where Jaskier is a famous musician and Geralt is his husband that the entire internet is horny for (modern AU)

I hope you like some of these? tell me how it goes? 🧡

followers celebration

#bte600 #fic rec #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #geralt x jasker x yennefer #ask me anything

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midniitemusewrites · 7 months

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Hmm. Geraskier but it's Crimson Peak. Not sure who the mysterious sibling is. Could be Yennefer. Could be Eskel ala inexplixific's warlord AU.

#the witcher #witcher fanfic #ive been sick and shirking a few responsibilities so maybe i have time to go into a cough medicine induced haze and write #geraskier #geralt / jaskier #twn #witcher fic #witcher fic idea

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artistsfuneral · 4 months

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Kind of craving a Warlord/Epic the Musical AU where the witchers come together to take over Cintra (Redania?) and then warlord Geralt is faced with baby Ciri who technically is his enemy and maybe Yennefer is there ro warn him about Ciri possibly turning into his very worst sworn enemy when she grows up and that he should kill her

But we all know he wouldn't. So he raises her as the warlord princess 👀👀 but Destiny has other plans

#the witcher #artistsfuneral about the witcher #witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #ciri #cirilla of cintra #geraskier

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glwstic · 1 year

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Rec List 4: The Witcher

- Worth More Than Your Songs by Chaos_Breeds

“Jask, you’re bleeding,” Geralt growled, his free hand starting to pat for injuries, and-

Jaskier relaxed a bit, slumping in relief. “Good morning to you too,” he greeted brightly, ignoring how raspy his voice was. “Damn witchers and their sense of smell. I’m fine, don’t worry, just my hands.”

The room froze.

———

In which Jaskier runs himself ragged, convinced he must prove his value.

Geralt and Yennefer will not stand for it.

Oneshot, 1,676 words

- Defying the Odds by Chaos_Breeds

Geralt didn’t care to eavesdrop, really, even less than he wanted to hear another bawdy ballad. It was better to keep his eyes on his ale, stay out of trouble, and wait for Jaskier to be finished. “So how much longer do you think he’ll live?” asked the baron, drumming his fingers on the table. “Such clever songs. I hope we’ll hear another few years’ worth before he goes.”

Geralt immediately stilled, the performance fading into the background.

———

In which Geralt learns that traveling bards are one of the most dangerous professions for very good reason. He overhears some nobles betting on how long his bard would survive on the path, and Jaskier’s odds apparently aren’t good.

Geralt will be damned before that happens.

Oneshot, 1,705 words

- Bard Assassin by Hyrulehearts1123, sageclover61

Collection, 8 works, 88,968 words

>>> Edge of Nowhere by sageclover61

Jaskier needed no introduction to Geralt of Rivia, not when he knows who this Witcher is on sight. On the other hand, this is his opportunity to make a new and different name for himself, a guise within a disguise, and perhaps fame that'll hide the secrets that he keeps.

Oneshot, 1,361 words

- why were you digging, what did you bury by ruffboi

"You'll be coming with me," his father said, rather abruptly and with no room for argument.

"I thought no one but the elders and the witch could know where the clearing is," Julian said slowly.

"This is your duty as my son and heir," his father snapped.

"Of course, father," Julian replied. "I'll be ready after supper." He wondered, a chill running down his spine, what this duty actually was.

Oneshot, 1,776 words

- I Have Heart-Fire and Singing to Give by inexplicifics

Jaskier is invited to come and sing at Oxenfurt - an honor he has never dreamed he would be granted so young. But leaving Kaer Morhen has its perils...and there are those who would very much like to get their hands on the Consort of the Warlord of the North.

5/5 Completed, 23,311 words

- And I'll go up, up to find us by thequeenofsong

Geralt's thoughts when he goes up the mountain after finding out about the husband hunters coming to Kaer Morhen. Also includes a flashback to the night in Redania after Geralt finds out Jaskier was sent as a sacrifice and Jaskier's confession of love. Inspired by Inexplicfic's Accidental Warlord AU.

Oneshot, 2,909 words

- No More Monsters by ruffboi

When Geralt leads his army into Tretogor, they expect most of what they find.

What they don't expect is the near-silent, trembling figure they find tucked against the wall in Radovid's rooms after Eskel runs a sword through the bastard's throat.

Oneshot, 1,219 words

- Dandelion Wedding Crowns by sageclover61

Twenty years after conquering Kaedwen, Redania sought a treaty with the Warlord of the North, and offered with it an arranged marriage.

Geralt, the accidental warlord of the north, would very like human nobles to stop doing monstrous things, like marrying off their children. Needless to say, the marriage won’t last. Now if only he could figure out how to help Jaskier and his sisters, too.

Inspired by Inex's AW AU and Pallidus' As long as the sun and moon are above.

Oneshot, 16,303 words

- dead man running by peaktotheocean

Jaskier handed her the spare dagger and breathed easy when she took it without question. "Ciri, darling. We're going to get out of this dungeon together. You know how sometimes, humans call things monsters that aren't monsters at all? Rather just, things they don't understand?"

She looked at him with fierce determination in her eyes. "Yes, I do."

Oneshot, 7,512 words

- Little Lark in Our Hearts by Chaos_Breeds

Based on inexplicifics Warlord!Geralt AU. Jaskier thought he was over what his father had done, when he was sent away as tribute to the White Wolf. During a conversation about sending tribute to another king, Jaskier realizes he very, very much is not okay.

Good thing he’s got a whole pack to help him through it.

———

(In which they get a stark reminder of Jaskier’s circumstances before becoming part of the Witcher’s keep.)

Oneshot, 1,604 words

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ghostinthelibrarywrites · 1 year

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🌹

From the warlord!Yenn fic:

“Radovid can be quite fun at parties.”

Yennefer snorts. “You just say that because you want to get in his pants again.”

Geralt arches an eyebrow. “Radovid? Really?”

“I was younger and dumber then.” Jaskier waves a dismissive hand.

“It was last year,” Yennefer says.

“Yes, and it became quite clear over pillow talk that he was more interested in gathering intelligence on Yennefer than my charms.” Jaskier sighs wistfully. “It’s a shame too. He was quite talented with his—”

“Try not to cause a diplomatic crisis with your cock at my wedding,” Yennefer tells him.

“Don’t ask me for promises I can’t keep, darling Yennefer.”

Geralt’s lips quirk upwards in amusement. “Cause a lot of diplomatic crises with your cock?”

“Not half as many as he'd like,” Yennefer deadpans before Jaskier can reply.

Send me a 🌹 and I'll post a snippet of a WIP

#the witcher #geraskefer #warlord!yennefer #witcher!yennefer

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thedemonofcat · 2 months

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The Accidental Warlord And His Pack Inspired Au:

.It wasn't Geralt's plan to become a warlord of the north; however, life and destiny had other plans. Nor was conquering Lettenhove, but Geralt couldn't say he was sad about especially having to see Jaskier there.

Since the incident on the mountain, Geralt hadn't encountered Jaskier. Yet fate had a twist in store as Geralt recalled Jaskier's mention of being the Viscount of Lettenhove. In the tradition of conquest, the victorious monarch typically claims a prize.

So naturally, Geralt selected Jaskier as his prize.

It seemed like an ideal solution for Geralt—to bring Jaskier back to Kaer Morhen, where the bard could find safety and contentment. However, Jaskier's demeanour shifted, becoming more subdued and withdrawn, a far cry from his usual vibrant self. Despite Geralt's efforts, he couldn't coax Jaskier back to his usual spirited self.

It wasn't until Yennefer pointed out to Geralt the legal implications of claiming Jaskier as his prize. In the eyes of the law, Jaskier was now Geralt's property, and Geralt had yet to apologize for the rift between them stemming from their mountain encounter.

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inexplicifics · 1 year

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If Yen does get to slug the Count de Lettenhove, will he be salted, or will she keep him in a jar?

Oooh, interesting question.

...Jar, I think. Yen's vicious enough to want to gloat a while.

#questions answered #accidental warlord au #yennefer

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jazzmckay · 9 months

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Truth in Melody on ao3

Chapters: 16/16 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Priscilla Additional Tags: Inspired by The Accidental Warlord and His Pack Series - inexplicifics, Warlord Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Spy Jaskier | Dandelion, Espionage, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, Slow Burn, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Bad at Feelings, Kaer Morhen's Fanon Hot Springs (The Witcher), Sparring, Canon-Typical Violence, Anti-Witcher Sentiments (The Witcher)

Several years ago, Geralt deposed a Koviri duke, and accidentally became a warlord.

Jaskier, a bard and agent of the Redanian Secret Service, has been sent to Kaer Morhen under the guise of being given as tribute. In truth, his assignment is to learn the White Wolf's conquest secrets and send them back to his home kingdom of Redania.

#the witcher #geraskier #finally. Finally done posting this :D #my fic

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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year

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It is not lost on me that I've consistently posted Witcher content for several years, slowly and lovingly and painstakingly building a Witcher community, that I've written over a half million words for the witcher fandom AND YET my biggest post of all is an Our Flag Means Death text post that took me about thirty seconds to write. lmaoooo. This is life.

Ok, here goes:

I posted 2,005 times in 2022

That's 1,009 more posts than 2021!

625 posts created (31%)

1,380 posts reblogged (69%)

Blogs I reblogged the most: (apparently my self rb's are being called out, here, but look, I gotta let people know I wrote a fic. Also, hiii blogs I rb a lot)

@fangirleaconmigo

@roughentumble

@witcherladiesamirite

@on-a-lucky-tide

@samstree

I tagged 1,939 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#the witcher - 1,343 posts

#jaskier - 580 posts

#geralt of rivia - 551 posts

#geraskier - 351 posts

#asks - 279 posts

#yennefer of vengerberg - 236 posts

#the witcher books - 186 posts

#cirilla fiona elen riannon - 147 posts

#dandelion - 123 posts

#eskel - 118 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#half the maidens in the front row throw their underthings at him while he’s still covered in viscera and crocodile tears

My Top Posts in 2022:

There are a lot of fics in the fandom where Jaskier is a concubine or bed warmer and is gifted to Geralt (usually warlord Geralt) and that becomes his path to freedom and love. Some of them are among the best fics in the fandom. One of them is one of my favorite fics ever.

But I do get to thinking...

Men who are physically strong and skilled in combat (like Geralt) can also be exploited. In fact, physical power is one of the most limited forms of power, and witchers are exploited and oppressed in canon. And by the same token, men who can't wield a weapon (like Jaskier), can be very powerful if they are born into the correct family.

So. What if we flip their roles in the narrative? (I'm sure there are flipped fics out there, but I'm going to spin my own idea for a minute.) Alright. Here we go. My idea for Prince Jaskier/Gladiator Geralt.

CW for references to past sexual abuse. Do not read further if you don't want to read any references to sexual abuse. As I said, it is a reversal of the trope mentioned above, so none of the abuse is between Geralt and Jaskier, but the premise does involve servitude and abuse.

---------

Jaskier is a prince sent out on his very first diplomatic visit. He has been chosen for this task (negotiating a treaty) because he has come of age, and his father wants him to make a match with the princess. His father has managed to keep his country's economic crisis a secret, but it won't stay that way for long. If Jaskier can impress his hosts perhaps he can marry the princess, and his people will be pulled back from the brink of financial ruin.

But before Jaskier goes, his father counsels him that he will see some barbaric practices in this other country. Though this other country is wealthy and advanced technologically, it still engages in things like gladiator fights and indentured servitude. Jaskier says that he understands. He can keep his mouth shut no matter what he sees. He knows that they are counting on him.

The first day of the visit goes well. During a long session of intense negotiations, Jaskier makes a brilliant first impression, so much so that the king invites him to be the guest of honor at a gladiator fight. Jaskier does not have a stomach for violence or gore. So he downs a few goblets of wine to take the edge off and to keep himself relaxed enough to not vomit at the first sight of entrails.

Their prize gladiator is a striking, white haired warrior with mystical powers. He has an enviable streak of wins, and the people love him. Part of why they love him is because he seems to hate killing people. He will do it efficiently and well, in order to defend his life. But when they push someone out into the ring that is ill prepared or a poor match for him, he does everything he can to stall or stop the fight.

Once, the king tells Jaskier, he refused to fight and managed to convince his opponent to refuse to fight. They publicly executed several prisoners in retaliation, so now he fights. But he curses them elaborately after every win.

Instead of it weighing on their conscience, however, the audience moons over him as a noble assassin, a killer with a heart of gold. It's the irony, it's the angst. They love him. Not enough to free him of course, but they love him.

Jaskier worries he is not drunk enough for this, but he manages. As expected, the warrior wins the fight. It is a tough match against a skilled and weathered opponent. But he fights with the mesmerizing grace of a brutal dancer and he wins in a spectacular fashion. The crowd goes berserk.

Though Jaskier finds the warrior incredibly compelling, his eyes drawn to him over and over like a beacon, he is relieved as fuck that the whole thing is over. He can't wait to go back to his room and cleanse away the memory of that horrible pulsing severed carotid with maybe a song or another drink. He can't wait to have more power and ban some of these horrific practices.

But before he can get back to his room, the king makes him an offer that he is entirely unprepared for. He has taken such a liking to Jaskier that he offers to send the champion up to his room.

That is when Jaskier learns that the royal ladies (and some of the men) take great pride in partaking of the warrior after a match. It is the highest honor.

It's partly his beautiful physique. They have special clothing made up for him that resembles his armor, but offers more access. It's partly the danger and the thrill of conquering such a violent beast. They bind him and they station guards close by so he can't retaliate. But the thought that he could kill them with the twist of a wrist is part of the appeal. It is also partly the exclusivity. The entire kingdom loses their mind for this warrior, but it is only they who have access to him. It gives these wealthy, bored, royals a rare thrill.

When his host explains all of this, Jaskier's stomach drops almost to the soles of his shoes. His first instinct is to be outraged. To say no. His kingdom has done away with bed warmers and...well...sex slaves, really. He has been brought up to believe that ravaging someone, anyone, is a base, cruel, horrible thing to do.

So he almost says no. He almost shouts it. Frankly, he would like to slap the king across his smug beastly face. Obviously he can't do that. But he wants to. But then a thought flickers across his mind. If he says no, then this warrior will be sent to someone else. And who knows who that person will be and what they will do to him.

Jaskier feels sick to his stomach when he accepts the king's offer. He hopes his disgust isn't apparent. He tries to make it sound lusty. To his own ears, he fails at it. Besides his disgust for the idea, he is also incredibly inexperienced. If he has to feign an intimate understanding of the specifics of sex, he'll reveal himself to be the young amateur that he is.

But the king is so drunken and self absorbed that he doesn't even notice. He claps Jaskier on the back, calls him my boy, and motions to his guards. The guards jump to attention. The king points down to the arena at the warrior. The warrior is slick with sweat and blood and grime. He is quietly cleaning his sword with a far away look on his face. The cheers of the crowd weigh on him.

Just then, the warrior looks up at Jaskier. His golden eyes feel like a punch to the solar plexus. He sees what is happening. He knows who is being conferred the honor of his body tonight.

Jaskier wants to mouth an apology. To explain himself. Of course he can't. They are too far apart and there is too much noise between them. Besides. Jaskier is currently pretending to be into this. But his eyes slide away guiltily. He feels queasy and he is regretting the wine right about now.

The king asks Jaskier if he wants the warrior grimy or clean. They can bathe him before they send him up, or they can just walk him up as he is, for a more authentic experience. Jaskier feels a cold fury bubbling inside. He shoves it down. He says to send him as he is. Jaskier will draw a bath in his own room and give the gladiator privacy.

The king makes a crude joke about Jaskier liking it dirty, and he almost bites through his tongue in order to hold it. He tastes copper.

Soon, Jaskier is alone in his room, pacing the marble floors, clenching and unclenching his fists. He is deep in concentration, trying to figure out how to play this. When the guards bring the warrior, will they leave? Or will they insist on staying close by? How will Jaskier hide his true intentions from them? Whatever they see, they will undoubtedly report to the king.

Jaskier chews his bottom lip and whispers to himself, practicing what he will say to the warrior if he can get them alone.

You'll be safe tonight.

You don't have to do anything.

Would you like to bathe yourself? I won't look.

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1,850 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

Geralt, who has lost his swords: I need those specific swords back.

Dandelion: Oh, just buy new ones.

Geralt: Oh rly and what if someone took your lute?

Dandelion: OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT IS SOMEONE LOOKING AT MY LUTE OH SHIT WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD NO ONE LOOK AT MY LUTE YOU FUCKERS*covers lute with body like a human shield*

😂😂 they are hilarious. Also, Geralt saying he feels like a snail without a shell is adorable.

1,924 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

Ok let's play a game called:

I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon.

Otherwise known as...

Witcher facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up, but that are, in fact, book canon.

PART ONE:

We've all read the fics where bad guys kidnap Jaskier in order to get to get to Geralt. These bad guys always regret it when Geralt slaughters every single one of them.

Well, good news! In Season of Storms, starting on page 310, this very thing happens.

(TW: Violence and gore)

Geralt is attending a royal wedding and once again, powerful people are trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do. He enters a room to find:

Dandelion was as white as a sheet and clearly terrified...He was sitting on a chair with a high backrest. Behind the chair stood a skinny character with hair combed and plaited into a queue. The character was holding a misericorde with a long, narrow, four-sided blade. The blade was pressed against the poet's neck, below his jaw, slanting upwards.

"No funny business," warned Ropp. No funny business witcher. One false move, even one twitch, and Mr Samsa will stick the minstrel like a hog. He won't hesitate."

So, these particular assholes have accurately surmised that Geralt's weakness is Dandelion. There were any number of people they could have kidnapped, but they chose the poet. Of course, they underestimate Geralt, like so many people do.

Geralt tries to warn them that this is a very very bad move.

"You're making a mistake, Ropp."

They don't listen to him. They keep going, making increasingly florid violent threats to Dandelion's safety.

"Now," said the captain..."Now you will confirm that you've understood the task and will execute it. Should you not, before I count to ten under my breath, Mr Samsa will rupture the minstrel's right eardrum...if the desired result does not ensure, Mr Samsa stabs the other ear. And will then gouge out the poet's eye. And so on, to the bitter end, which is a jab to the brain. I'm starting to count, witcher."

What does Dandelion do? Well, he's terrified but he tries to be brave.

"Don't listen to him Geralt!" Dandelion somehow managed to make a sound from his constricted throat. "They won't dare to touch me! I'm famous!"

This is hilarious and very, very Dandelion. But also, it's not entirely unreasonable. Dandelion's fame often protects him, and sometimes it protects Geralt too. However, it doesn’t seem to be doing either at the moment.

Geralt says to Mister Samsa:

"First, move that dagger away from the poet's ear."

Mister Samsa seems to think that they have succeeded and Geralt is negotiating with him, so he complies. (this guy makes one bad decision after another)

"Ha," snorted Mister Samsa, lifting the misericorde high over his head. "Is that better?"

Geralt simply answers:

"Better."

Then without another word, Geralt kills them all, violent and bloody. It is a descriptive, vividly gory passage. He slices carotid arteries and groins. One man's neck spews blood onto the chandelier and ceiling. But I find what Geralt does to Mister Samsa to be particularly significant and satisfying.

The Witcher jerked the sword from the scabbard before Ropp fell, and with one fluid movement coming out of a short spin, hacked off Samsa's raised hand. Samsa yelled and dropped to his knees.

So Geralt’s actions say...you use your hand to hold a blade to *my* poet's neck, and I will chop that motherfucker off. Let's see you do that again without a hand, you piece of shit.

It's a gory passage. I'll skip to the end. The royal instigator comes into the room to investigate and asks Geralt about the one man he has left (sort of, temporarily) alive.

The instigator examined the captain, who was lying, stretched out in a pool of urine, salivating copiously, and trembling incessantly.

See the full post

2,203 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

It’s doing bizarrely well on Twitter so I’m bringing it over here.

6,071 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Blackbeard: I’m bored as fuck and no one understands me.

Stede: *appears in a silk nightie. Is weird as all fuck* Do you want to talk about fabrics?

Blackbeard: *under breath* Fuck yes

6,280 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the witcher

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ladyannemarie5 · 8 months

Text

So... Remember my old post of WarLord!Geralt searching for the bard and discovering that Jaskier is Radovid's consort in Redania?

You can see it here

Well, I couldn't stop thinking about that and here's just part of what I've come up with so far.

Caution: Lots and lots of text. Almost 2k words.

-----

Geralt's first formal order as Warlord of the North is to search the continent for the bard Jaskier.

Five years have passed since Geralt last saw Jaskier. Five years since the mountain disaster and the day Geralt made the bard believe that the greatest blessing of his life would be to get rid of him.

Since then, Geralt has found his surprise child, resolved his issues with Yennefer and formed a new empire under his and the other witchers' command. And there hasn't been a single moment when he hasn't regretted pushing his bard away.

That is why, as soon as political things settle down and his mainly non-human subjects begin to form real households, the new warlord sends all available people to search for the man who made him White Wolf.

He knows from Yen, that Jaskier became the Sandpiper, so he has the witchers approach the smuggling network to help the refugees get to his new realm and also to gather as much information as they can about the poet's whereabouts.

They hear rumors and whispers about the famous bard Jaskier singing in taverns and famous courts, but every time they reach the last place where he was seen, it turns out that the bard has already departed. It also seems that 20 years at the side of a witcher have made him very good at running away from them without a trace.

Geralt grows more desperate by the day. He wants to apologize to Jaskier, he wants to tell him how sorry he is and how much he wants him to come back to him, because he is finally ready to stop running away from his feelings. He needs Jaskier by his side, either as his lover or simply as his friend. He just needs to know that the poet is safe and sound.

That's why his heartbeat stops for a moment when new information arrives from the bard. It turns out that Nilfgaard beat him to it and captured Jaskier months ago.

Geralt moves all his people to search for the place where the bard is being held prisoner until they finally find the small fort where their sources say he is. Geralt himself leads the attack.

Everyone is really confused when they break through the entrances and discover that there is no one alive there. There are only remnants that there was once a small army operating in the place but they fled some time ago.

Unfortunately, there are also remnants of torture in one of the fort's dungeons. Geralt feels an immense urge to vomit as he enters the place and the smell of Jaskier's blood reaches his nostrils. His eyes sting with tears of anger and sadness when he finds a piece of blue silk in one of the corners. His anger and grief increase when they find a funeral pyre on the outskirts of the site. Jaskier is gone forever.

Shortly thereafter, the University of Oxenfurt issues a statement mourning the death of its greatest teacher and legend, the bard Jaskier. Apparently, a Redanian convoy was on a reconnaissance mission when they found a fort with remnants of Nilfgaard troops. Upon entering they discovered that the soldiers had already left but had left the body of a man in one of the dungeons. One of the men, apparently a fan of the bard, recognized his belongings and alerted his superiors to the man's identity. Jaskier's body was burned by the Redanians due to the advanced state of decomposition. All that remained was a broken elven lute that was given to the university as proof of the poet's death.

Geralt demands that the lute be given to him. Eskel and Lambert are required to hold it when the dean refuses to give the instrument to the witcher on the grounds that Jaskier himself had left them to them in his will. The document firmly states that all of the bard's possessions were to pass to the university to dispose of as they see fit.

Geralt cries for the first time in years when he finds out. Officially, he has nothing left of his bard.

The Sandpiper network continues to operate as usual, at least for a while since the discovery of the fort, until something incredible happens: Redania enacts a new law saying that all elves, dwarves and other non-humans would no longer be persecuted, and could even choose to be legal citizens of Redania.

Years pass since then. Ciri, Yen, Triss and his brother witchers remain by his side and life on the continent continues almost unchanged as the White Wolf finishes consolidating himself as a monarch of a strong and prosperous territory. The hope that Jaskier will one day appear alive and singing about the Warlord every day fades. They hadn't seen the body and when Yen wanted to use a tracking spell with the lute just to make sure, it led to nothing.

And then politics suffers another attack: King Vizimir of Redania is murdered. Yen says that rumors point to his own brother, Prince Radovid, being the one who murdered him, as he was crowned that very night at the side of his lover, a random nobleman named Julian. Geralt does not doubt it. Humans are cruel and ambitious.

The obligatory mourning passes slowly, one day all the kingdoms (except Nilfgaard) are summoned to celebrate the new king and his consort. To the surprise of everyone in Kaer Morhen, the White Wolf and his entourage are invited to the celebrations. Yen and Triss say that it would be rude not to go, as Redania fully recognizes their kingdom unlike other territories, so it would be beneficial for Geralt to attend and seal ties with a kingdom as powerful as Redania.

Geralt wants nothing more than to stay in Kaer Morhen and continue to evade the outside world. Jaskier is no longer in it so there is nothing interesting out there. But he knows it's inevitable that he will attend the Redania celebrations, and Yen is right, it's a great opportunity. So he and his entourage leave for the kingdom.

They are greeted in a grand manner, just like any other monarch and his entourage. Redania has shown that he wants to form ties with Kaer Morhen, so Geralt decides that he will do his best to make it all go well. It seems that King Radovid himself and his consort will welcome them once they have settled in properly.

Geralt feels all the air leave his lungs, his head feels heavy and in turmoil, and he thinks he will burn Redania to the ground for such an offense. Next to King Radovid, stands a man with blue eyes and brown hair. A man resembling Jaskier stands right there, his arm resting on the king's arm.

He introduces himself as Julian Alfred Pankratz, formerly Viscount of Lettenhove, now royal consort to King Radovid.

Yen cannot help but advance to him with a murderous look. He magically probes him and in an icy voice lets them all know that he really is Jaskier, the bard dead years ago. Julian replies that it's really good to see everyone once again.

The welcome feast begins. Geralt can't take his eyes off Jaskier. The king and his consort act like any normal couple, both conversing with each other, together and very intimate. Geralt feels his stomach churn.

At some point in the night, Julian manages to sneak into Geralt's room. He silently asks the Witcher to verify that no one is listening and that there are no traces of magic around. Geralt confirms that they are alone.

Geralt has many questions, but he can't say any. Not with the man he thought was dead in front of him. But he finally gets something out of his mouth, asking for explanations.

Julian tells the witcher that after the mountain he traveled for a while by himself, but seeing the injustices to the elves and other non-humans made him want to do something. With his contacts in the RSS he became the Sandpiper. He would go back and forth from Oxenfurt to other places on the continent to recruit new people into the network. During his stays in Oxenfurt and thanks to Philippa and Dijkstra, he met Prince Radovid.

Geralt's heart breaks when he hears from the bard how lonely and desperate he felt until Radovid came into his life.

"By the time I realized it, I was lost and hopelessly in love with Radovid," he tells Geralt.

The warlord can't help but mention that the bard fell in love with a king-killer. Julian jumps to his consort's defense and tells Geralt everything.

Philippa and Dijkstra want to take Redania to war against Nilfgaard, they assassinated Queen Hedwig to make Vizimir give in to their advice, however, the king didn't. The two councilors then went to harass Jaskier, threatening his job as the Sandpiper to tell them the location of Geralt and Ciri, so they could use it as political leverage against Nilfgaard. Of course the bard refused.

So Jaskier was kidnapped and tortured by Nilfgaard to find out the location of Geralt and Ciri. Radovid, madly in love and worried about Jaskier, set out to look for him everywhere, until he was finally found dying in the fort. Philippa and her magic saved him.

Radovid, concerned for the bard's safety, proposed to him to fake his death in order to drive away all those who were looking for him, including the man who despised him on a mountain. Jaskier accepted on the condition that he stop pursuing the elves.

As the announcement of Jaskier's death shook the entire continent, he and the prince planned to leave the castle and travel together, away from the intrigues of the court. Vizimir, happy for his brother, immediately agreed to let them both leave as long as they accepted his help and communicated constantly. The night of their departure, Vizimir was assassinated.

Geralt is shaken when Jaskier tells him that Philippa and Dijkstra killed Vizimir so they could manipulate Radovid and take Redania to war. The new king is stalling as long as possible, but there is no denying the influence of both advisors on the king's decisions. Geralt snarls when he learns that the sorceress and spymaster are threatening the former bard's life to make Radovid do as they command.

Jaskier knows that Geralt hates him, that he is not complying with the one thing he has asked of him, but he needs him to get Dijkstra and Philippa out of the picture so he can save Redania and his lover from going to war. And so he lets the witcher know.

------

And well, that's it. At least until now.

I want to clarify that anyone who wants to write this has my absolute permission to do so, just tell me so I can read it because I definitely don't think I'll write it myself. If you want to comment on something, another idea, another point, an insult, change something to this. etc., you are welcome to do so. I don't usually reply much but I really do read everything posted on Tumblr.

Thanks if you read all this verbal vomit and apologies once again for the huge amount of words.

#I really wanted to put my version and give my ideas #a lot of text #feel free to take the idea and write it down #just tell me so I can read it #anything is welcome #you decide who jaskier stays with #but to be honest in my heart he stays with Radovid #jaskier #the witcher #radovid #radskier #geraskier #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #bunny plot

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