#we love our resident gay vampire

[genderascendant]

✨ofmd fic rec list✨

Here it is, the list absolutely no one one of my friends all of you have been waiting for: my our flag means death fic recs!! Now, I mostly like AUs and long-ish fics and am ambivalent about smut, so that's what most of this list is; but I put a couple of very special post-canon fics at the beginning, and shorter or one-shot fics at the end. My absolute favorites are marked with 🌸. Enjoy! 💖

post-canon-ish

🌸 Chiaroscuro by @menaceanon - WIP, 22k, T - gratuitous Mary and Ed get to be buds content. Their friendship and bonding is so so sweet, and especially since Jenkins said Mary probably won't make a return...... enjoy it here!!

Uncle Ed by StormySeaWitch - WIP, 21k, T - twin narratives about Ed adopting the kiddos, and one I actually like even more: Stede and co. slowly plotting and executing a takeover of the English naval ship that rescued them:') It's great Stede competence and killing-with-kindness content

Wayfaring by @justkeeptrekkin - 35k, E - Unbelievable masterpiece where Stede and Ed have to make up on the deserted island they're stranded on. The exploration of EMOTIONS. The ROMANTICISM, the SCENES. I have no words, you just have to read it

🌸 the only proof the field existed by @nonagethimus - 22k, M - Also a masterpiece. Part 1 is a searing character study of Ed and Lucius, and part 2 is a perfect reunion. Screaming and crying and throwing up.

AUs

🌸 it's what isn't in the name by tciddaemina - 41k, M - the entire Season 1 rewritten as a daemon AU. Absolutely love the characterization here and it feels so real, i came out feeling like i had an entire extra version of the season in my brain.

it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do by lacecat - WIP, 33k, M - Stede opens a gastropub. Ed owns the dive bar down the street. An accidental murder leads to... them getting married the day they meet so they can't be made to testify against each other. It's SO well plotted and sweet and funny that so far, it's my only reread.

🌸 Ship in a Bottle by @neverwaswise - WIP, 14k, NR - HRRRNGH i am so obsessed with this one. Lighthouse keeper Stede, literal kraken Ed. The characterization is INCREDIBLE and i absolutely LIVE and am FERAL for this Little Mermaidy version of Ed. THE SWEETNESS!!!!! Shutting up now!

Bark and Bite by @amuseoffyre - WIP, 32k, M - the vampire/werewolf AU of my DREAMS. Season 1 rewritten with vampire!ed and werewolf!stede, of course. It's incredibly silly and sweet, and I love how they work the au into the canon. An update always brightens my day!!

🌸 this tired world could change by @sassygwaine - 95k, E - FERAL I SAY. Stede is a depressed office worker at his dad's company, Ed is a mechanic and ex-enforcer for the mob. The way their relationship is written and grows is.......... so, so beautiful, I can't even. There's a sequel coming!!

We were the winds -writing our names in the sky- by sapphos_gh0st - WIP, 37k, T - What if Ed and Stede met as teenagers? Impossibly sweet and fluffy, literally soothes my soul. Boys finding the love and sweetness and care they DESERVE *clenches fist*

🌸 Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise - WIP, 95k, M - This fic has me in a fucking chokehold. I am rabid about it, obsessed. 1970s AU, Ed is a drug dealer with a record store front, and meets Stede at a music festival. Their lives and their world feel so real and lived-in, which makes their love story that much more compelling. Excellent and often HYSTERICAL prose, especially from Lucius, and I want to live in Stede's gay commune-house with the crew SO badly.

Our Flag Means Rock by @captain-athos - 22k, M - This one has really taken up residence in my brain! 1960s pirate radio AU, and the author really knows and cares about music history. Made me go listen to the Beach Boys!

This Could Be Love by @zombee - 16k, E - Ed is an ex-professional skier who meets Stede at a hotel conference... and fake dating AND only-one-bed ensue! I particularly love their take on DESPERATELY horny Ed

shorter AUs and whatnot

you'll marry a music man by @soft-october-night - 7k, T - "Poor man's Elton John" Stede covers one of Ed's songs! Soooo sweet and funny

in the margins by @weatheredlaw - 3k, T - Ed and Stede find each other over and over, in every life. This one is so healing, kind of ties the whole idea of reading AUs together, and is especially nice after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once

a small adventure by @sassygwaine - 4k, T - Dungeons and Dragons podcasting AU! Their exchange about tabaxis is probably going to stick in my head forever!!

Dealt a Soft Hand by @mintly - 12k, M - ACCIDENTAL DRUNKEN VEGAS WEDDING, and also Ed is a professional gambler. Funny and sweet

🌸 Washington Square Park Dog Run for Larger Dogs by @fortinbrasftw - 6k, T - Ed and Stede meet at the dog park, and later, Izzy and James Flint meet at the dog park. Hilarious, perfect characterization. I've never seen Black Sails and it did not impact my IMMENSE enjoyment of these fics at all.

that's all for now! got recommendations? reblog or reply! 💖

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd fic #ofmd fic rec #ofmd fic list #mine #this was so hard and tumblr deleted my edits when i was halfway done. rip #maybe i will make a part 2 one day when i read more fic!!

[autisticempathydaemon]

hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin 

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

[onegianthotmess]

Amelia’s Ikemen Vampire Contact List

The contact names and group chats I would have for these chaos men.

Napoleon Bonaparte - Panty Sniffer👀☹️

Either this name or “Trashy Fanfic Author✍️💕” would be my contact name for him

IRL Napoleon wrote a self insert love novel, so I’m saying Ikemen!Napoleon did that

It would probably switch between those two, if I’m being honest

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Fucking Germaphobe✋🙄

Pretty self-explanatory

I’d make fun of him for it and he’d probably yell at me for sneezing and coughing around him-

SORRY I CAN’T CONTROL WHEN I SNEEZE, YOU CLEAN WHORE-

Leonardo da Vinci - The Bisexual Cat Man💗💜💙🐈‍⬛

One, this man sleeps like a fucking cat

Whenever and where ever he wants

Two, you can’t tell me Leo and Comte haven’t at least had one maybe maybe not drunk night of sex together

Also, it’s a historical fact that Leonardo da Vinci, in real life, was most likely gay

But I’m saying Ikemen!Leo is definitely bisexual

His sex drive doesn’t discriminate-

And there I go rambling again, this isn’t my headcanons on what these sexuality of these weirdos is, it’s what their contact names would be in my phone-

Arthur Canon Doyle - Attention Slut Writer💃✍️

He doesn’t charge for attention, he gets it for free-

Also we’d probably just end up sending each other weird memes that we find while we’re up and on the internet at, like, one in the morning

Vincent van Gogh - Bubba😇🎨💛

As I’ve stated before, the van Gogh brothers have unofficially adopted me, so I’m their baby sister now

And I’m pretty sure people would ask if I’m actually related to them since me and Vincent both have the baby face curse-

Theodorus van Gogh - Bubba🖕🥞💙

Again, unofficially adopted older brother

Except we’re assholes to each other because that’s how we show our love to each other

Even though the bitch calls me a damn hondje-

I’m using salt instead of sugar in his pancakes for a month-

Dazai Osamu - Window 🪟

Seriously that’s all I got

He just climbs in through the windows to get into rooms, even my room

He’s a weirdo, but so am I, so I can’t really judge him-

Isaac Newton - Apple Pie 🍎🥧❤️

I’m his mom friend, I’m allowed to tease him

Also it was either this or “Fucking Nerd 🤓” and I didn’t want to be that mean

Also I’m the only one allowed to make apple pie for him because I don’t make fun of him for it outside of one tiny comment-

William Shakespeare - Wilhelm Shookspear🎭📝🍐

Tbh, I’d mispronounce his name just to piss him off

And then I invite him over to piss off Theo so that Will won’t be mad at me because I find him at least decent

Also, he’s Vincent’s bestie, why would I keep my unofficially adopted big brother away from his bestie he’s probably kissed while drunk once or twice

Le Comte de Saint-Germain - Mommy Comte🥰🥰

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Comte is the mother of the mansion and Leonardo is the chill as fuck dad

Also, the residents are his children

It’s literally canon that he unofficially adopted them

Sebastian/Akihiko Satou - Husband 🥰

Self-explanatory

I could’ve been mean, but I love him too much and he’d revoke my affection privileges for a week and replace them with twice as many forehead flicks

Meanie bobeanie

But I love him-

Vlad - Strawberry Shortcake🍰💐🥀

It was either this name or “Dusty Old Man😐”

And he’s pretty as fuck, so that name didn’t really fit in my opinion-

I give him free strawberry desserts, he gives me free flowers to decorate the mansion with

It’s a win-win, really

Johann Georg Faust - Pyromania💥💥💥

Tbh, I’d make fun of him for his death all the fucking time

Mutual agreement that we insult each other and try to kill each other half the time and the other half we civilly interact with a sprinkle of petty insults

It’s fun!

Charles-Henri Sanson - Baby Blues💙💙

He has pretty eyes, what do you want from me?

Also he’s a babie, he needs love!

I’m borderline adopting most of these idiots at this point but I don’t care-

THEY’RE TRAUMATIZED AND ADORABLE!!

ESPECIALLY CHARLES

#ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp napoleon #ikemen vampire mozart #ikevamp mozart #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp leonardo #ikemen vampire arthur #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire vincent #ikevamp vincent #ikemen vampire theo #ikevamp theo #ikemen vampire dazai #ikevamp dazai #ikemen vampire isaac #ikevamp isaac #ikemen vampire jean #ikevamp jean #ikemen vampire shakespeare #ikevamp shakespeare #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire sebastian #ikevamp sebastian #ikemen vampire vlad #ikevamp vlad #ikemen vampire faust #ikevamp faust #ikemen vampire charles #ikevamp charles

[torpublishinggroup]

5 Literary Encounters with Legendary Beings

by a cat

Many mortal constructs began as stories, we say, confident in spite of our unwillingness to invest the research hours necessary to prove such a thesis. Why else would we tell time? 

Anyway, having thus established the relevance of myth within our lives, let’s talk about something more fun than the ticking of the clock. Let’s talk about vampires, werewolves, and other myth-folk* by running down some awesome books within whose pages they reside. 

Check it out!

Wolfsong by TJ Klune

Werewolves are for kissing. Don’t believe us? Let the gay lycans of TJ Klune’s Green Creek series melt your heart, and then achingly break it. These books are about a pack of werewolves, yes, but it’s important to remember that many mythical beings are people too: Given to all the messy yearning, loving, and hurting that comes with being alive. 

Masters of Death by Olivie Blake

Vampires kind of have an image problem, unhelped by numerous depictions of bloody splatterfests and exploitative aristocratic legacies. Now who better to act on an image problem than a real estate agent? Viola Marek might be a vamp but she’s also got houses to sell. Unfortunately, one of them is very inconveniently haunted, and this is the inciting incident in Masters of Death by Olivie Blake—a story about (among other things) how immortality doesn’t actually spare the indignities, gifts, and difficulties of life. It just gives you more time to experience them. 

Ebony Gate by Julia Vee & Ken Bebelle

And the next entry in our rundown of legendary entities is an urban fantasy full of assassins and dragon magic in San Francisco. Here’s a partial list of the mythical beings encountered within this thrilling debut: 

a guardian foo lion

a shinigami in a business suit

a cat yokai

a LOT of ghosts

Spring’s Arcana by Lilith Saintcrow

The mythical and magical entities that populate our stories often embody aspects of our mortal lives. From this oblique angle, we as narrative-enthusiasts can sneak up on emotional and abstract truths otherwise inaccessible. But our lives change, and so do our stories, and Spring’s Arcana by Lilith Saintcrow is an excellent candidate to demonstrate this phenomenon. Nat Drozdova’s mother is sick, and she must cross an America full of modern divinities (the God of Money, Law and Order, the King of Thieves, etc.) in order to procure a stolen relic for a winter goddess in a skyscraper office who has the power to save her ailing mother. 

Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher

“Toadling was, more or less, lucky. She was not harvested by the flesh-smiths nor devoured by redcaps, nor raised in the retinue of a great lord of Faerie. Instead she was thrown to the greenteeth, the slimy swamp-dwelling spirits who devour unwary swimmers. Boy-children they eat, always. Girl-children they eat, mostly. But occasionally their numbers will fall, or one of them will be seized with some murky maternal instinct, and they will raise a child instead.”

This snippet comes from the beginning of T. Kingfisher’s twisted fable, and already we are blessed with a dearth of fae folk. If you like mythical beings in fiction, pick this one up as soon as you can!

━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

*Tor Blog-cat’s Note: Diligent readers may note that the introduction to this book roundup seems to imply the veracity of werewolves, vampires, and other beings of legend. While this question certainly lays beyond the scope of the Tor Publishing Group to answer, we do heartily encourage all readers to show kindness to any vamps, wolves, etc. that might or might not exist <3

#tor books #thornhedge #t. kingfisher #tj klune #wolfsong #spring's arcana #lilith saintcrow #ebony gate #julia vee #ken bebelle #masters of death #olivie blake #book list #tbr #booklr #book rundown

[unveilhq]

congratulations on your acceptance, spoop, dan, & rider ! please make sure you check the next steps here

parker young, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that jack jacobs? i’ve seen them hanging out with the half ghosts. i hear they’re 30, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 3 months. they seem to be amicable & generous, but also gullible & needy.

chris wood, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that wendell booth? i’ve seen them hanging out with the humans. i hear they're 29, but they’ve only been in alexandria for a few days. they seem to be bubbly & knowledgable, but also klutzy & stutters. they are not heightened!

carlos cuevas, homosexual, cis male + he/him/his → isn’t that andy alvarez? i’ve seen them hanging out with the sirens. i hear they’re 28, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 2 months. they seem to be optimistic & resilient, but also frivolous & imprudent.

wes chatham, bisexual, cis male + he/him/his → isn’t that fred falkner? i’ve seen them hanging out with the were-creatures. i hear they're 45, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 6 months. they seem to be disciplined & fearless, but also brutal & unrelenting. it’s cool that their animal counterpart is a wolf!

dylan minnette, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that owen elwyn? i’ve seen them hanging out with the witches. i hear they're 22, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 2 years. they seem to be intelligent & creative, but also shy & paranoid. it’s cool that they’re capable of molecular combustion & telekinesis! 

milo ventimiglia, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that witt magnarson? i’ve seen them hanging out with the gorgons. i hear they’re 170 (but look 45), but they’ve only been in alexandria for 5 months. they seem to be ebullient & imaginative, but also blunt & critical.

theo james, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that leofwyn emrys atwood? i’ve seen them hanging out with the cupids. i hear they’re 453 (but look 37), but they’ve only been in alexandria for 15 years. they seem to be loving & hardworking, but also lovelorn & a stickler (for the rules).

tom hardy, pansexual, male + he/him → isn’t that xzavulon th'sladek frakes? i’ve seen them hanging out with the darklighters. i hear they’re ancient (but look 42), but they’ve only been in alexandria for 280 years. they seem to be charitable & debonair, but also hedonistic & sarcastic. 

justin chien, bisexual, male + he/him → isn’t that desmond zhang xin hao? i’ve seen them hanging out with the phoenixes. i hear they’re 2239 (203 in his current cycle, but looks 30), but they’ve only been in alexandria for 1 week. they seem to be daring & farsighted, but also ruthless & deceitful. they have been reborn at least once already (technically 8 times already)!

TWO new wanted connections have been added!

did you hear ricardo reyes (josh segarra), our resident vampire, is looking for their butler/retainer? they’re an UTP year old human or witch who arrived in the chateau 1 month ago. they look like julian morris,  gregg sulkin, geau mirchoff or UTP. the mun does require you to contact them prior to filling this out. - looking for the thief who accidentally awoke Rico, was supposed to be killed but spared, and got roped into being his retainer. thinking a dynamic where they try to stop Rico from doing something dumb and they are the one who taught Rico about the world outside the castle, etc. thinking kinda like the prince and the thief vibe (literally). - @beyonddeveil 

did you hear fred falkner (wes chatham), our resident were-creature, is looking for their love-hate rival/fuckbuddy? they’re an UTP year old were-creature, vampire, incubus or siren who arrived in the chateau UTP years ago. they look like jonathan tucker, oliver jackson-cohen, peter gadiot, adan canto. the mun does require you to contact them prior to filling this out. - honestly i just want a hatefuck ship where they tried (and will try) to kill each other but ended up fucking, and are in constant headbutts. i'm hoping them to be a lil bit evil so fred can go after that but more so just annoy and manipulate/seduce him. kinda thinking ron swanson and tammy 2 vibe from parks and rec. - @beyonddeveil 

#unveilaccepted

[xophryz]

Saltburn

Hi, I am King, and this is PestoButGay. 

Talking of gay, have you seen Saltburn Yet? The homoerotic period piece that lead to a bajillion TikTok’s of men walking around their houses with imitating ART as Sophie Ellis Baxter plays in the background? 

Saltburn, transports viewers to the idyllic Saltburn House, where the lives of its residents are set against the backdrop of a picturesque summer sandwiched between uni years at Oxford. 

Quite similarly I was asked to my friends summer house in a seaside town of Lyme, equally gay, but a bit less of the whole drinking cummy bath water. 

The film follows the eclectic cast, as we follow Oliver, played by Barry Keoghan in awe over Felix, Jacob Elordi, as we are pulled through a scarily British cast ranging from Rosamund Pike to Richard E.Grant and their pets that reside at Saltburn house, from the enigmatic Venetia, to the eccentric Farleigh, or the wine aunt we all have, Pamela. The film, written by Rosamund Pike, as the characters navigate love, loss, and even the passage of time in the quintessentially British setting and class divides we have all become so used to. 

What I really love, is the way the house and class is a sort of character in itself in the film. “Saltburn” was this character referred to as if it was heaven, it serves as more than a backdrop for the unfolding drama, it breathes and represents so much more than looks. It feels like its a fully realised character, with its own quirks, history and personality, I even picked on references to minotaurs or paintings like The Garden of Earthly Delights. 

"Saltburn" explores the theme of class as another character in the story with the divide between the residents of the estate and the working-class inhabitants of the town to the subtle power dynamics at play within each social dynamic. The film's exploration of class consciousness and the inherent tensions between privilege and poverty adds depth and complexity to its characters and their interactions, shedding light on the broader social landscape of post-war Britain. And I love it even more because 2006 is the perfect setting for this that encapsulates all of those themes, and I think it is so interesting that what for many of us was our childhood can be considered a period piece.

I think I would give it about a 3 and a half stars to be annoying. The half star is purely because we got to see Barry Keoghan naked. 

***.

In all honesty, what was that? Man! What a brilliant but also terrible but also stunning and grotesque and stupid and amazing film, yet the film loses me the most at the end. Basically up until he kills Venetia i’m with it! But then it unravels and i understand the thought behind it but at the same time its all dumb!!!!!!!!

I loooved the acting, Rosamund Pike especially but strong performances across the board. Visually stunning, all the things you want in a film, like constantly i found myself grinning at how well shots were put together or the way colours bounced off one another.

The shock value all kinda works for me, where as others looked like they had seen a ghost, I was sat there like it was any other day of the week, It worked for me, the like sexual shock value like the bathtub and the vampire and the grave was all a lotta fun. It just sticks the landing so much to the point it drags down the whole film. 

I think the ending would be fine (still bad, but fine) if it didn’t re-contextualise other parts of the film from earlier and give them worse meaning!! he doesn’t need to be this mastermind what the hell is the point in that, let him be a weird little Liverpudlian freak who’s psychosexually obsessed with a 6'6 man and his big ass house like I thought this film was going to be about! Him being from Liverpool had so much potential for further analysis and points to be made to critique North/South class divides and dynamics in place in British society, that were just sort of lost and that was such a shame 

i can see my opinion changing, either for the good or the worse tbh, depending on how it sits with me and whether i find myself thinking about the good or the bad more. 

#saltburn #film #film review

[card-carrying-system]

Ig here’s a cool intro post

hi we’re the card carriers. We exist i guess. under cut is some stuff we’ll move to a carrd someday (and the carrd itself)

The Weirdos /aff

Jack - He/They/It/One - Host with the most. Somehow both the most capable and most all-over-the-place person here

Envy - He/It/Time - Fictive of Envytastic from the Viantastic channel. Very tired older brother figure of the system.

Octo - He/Him - C!Octoboy intoject. Often leaves us semi-verbal which is annoying but we love him.

Scout - He/They - TF2 Scout fictive. Just as hyper as his source but with weirder memories.

Clay - He/Him - Clay (Moral Orel) fictive. Likes coffee and hates being here and honestly mood.

Felicia - She/Her - resident ghost who autopilots for us sometimes. loves stairs for some reason.

Streber - He/One - The funny vampire from spooky month. very very gay.

The Tridentials - all He/Him - our cj songtives! they are very confusing but at least their music taste slaps... mostly

everything else you can find on our carrd: https://theccsystemcard.carrd.co/ (i swear we’ll give it a glow-up someday)

#system intro #system #endo safe #pro endo #srry for the weird formating #EnvyTheEditor #i am not tagging a lot it's late #pinned

[mystical-muffin-ofthe-fandoms]

Baz is like, haha look at the idiot trying to slay a dragon -oh shiT THAT'S MY IDIOT

#simon snow #baz #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #tyrannus basilton pitch #we love our resident gay vampire #carry on #wayward on #anywhere the wind blows #gay #they are gay #hella gay #snow #snowbaz #snazzleton #snazzle #simon x baz #baz x simon #rainbow rowell #friends to lovers #best enemies #enemies au #crush your enemies #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to best friends #enemies to lovers #fw&s's posts so i can find them later :) #lgbtq #fanfic #love #gay love

[mytwilightimagines13]

Pet (Part Eleven) (Demetri)

Masterlist Pet Masterlist Rules

Headcanon requests: Open Imagine requests: Closed Taglist: Open

Taglist: @aro-is-gay-af @vamp-army @raindancer2004 @like-rain-or-confetti @volturidoll13 @kpopgirlbtssvt @avyannadawn @alexavolturisblog @alecvolturiswifeforever @imaginetwilight2704 @develin13 @wallwriterstuff @volturiwolf @marcusofthevolturi

Special thanks to my main boo's @raindancer2004 @vamp-army and @volturidoll13 for giving me most of the ideas for this story! This part in particular! :3

Word count: 2.286

13th of August 2006, Volterra, Italy

I was running down a hallway while a very dark laugh followed me. “Maaaaandyyyyyyyyy.” a hauntingly voice drifted towards me, followed by the same laughter again. Blood dripped down the walls as I ran faster, away from the voice. Screams of victims came from the many closed doors I passed on the way. It suddenly got eerily quiet before strong arms wrapped themselves around me, trapping my arms against my body. “Gotcha, my little bride.”

I screamed and sat up in my bed, trying to fight of the arms that were tightly wrapped around my waist. “Cara? What is going on?” I heard a familiar voice ask me panicked coming from the dark, yet my brain couldn't register who it was. “No! No get away from me!” I shouted and I finally got out of the person's grip. I ran towards the bathroom and reached the toilet in time only to kneel in front of it and I threw up anything I had left inside my stomach. Cool hands held my hair back as I retched for a couple more minutes. Tears streamed down my face and cold sweat was sticking against my skin. “Where is she?! What happened?!” The frantic voice of Dora came as she broke down the door to my room. “Master, is she alright?!” Demetri's frantic voice soon followed along with many more cool hands being pressed against me. I flinched and pulled away, still not fully comprehending where I was. I made my way to a corner of the room, pressing my head against the cool tiles and hugging my legs. I focussed on a little spec of black on the white tiles while slowly trying to calm my nerves down, fearing I might get into a full out panic attack if I would not be able to. “Aro, figure out what is wrong!” Caius said frantically, afraid to scare me even more if he came any closer. Aro seemed to be indecisiveness, unsure of what to do. But his curiosity and worry got the overhand as he quickly took a few steps forward and placed his hand on my bare arm. I flinched momentarily while my brain finally realised that I was safe. I broke my stare on the wall to look at Aro, whose eyes looked worried. “You are safe, Stellina. I promise you that. None of them will ever lay a hand on you again.” Aro said to which all the other vampires in the room hissed. Felix, who had been standing all the way in the back, cracked his knuckles. “We could easily take them all out, Master. Let Demetri and I gather some of our best warriors and we will finish them all before the week's end.” He said, his eyes glowing dangerously in the dark. “Their leader isn't far away. He resides in Rotterdam, Master. We can be there within 6 hours.” Demetri said, his demeanour calm like just before a storm. “We could take Santiago and the twins with us.” Dora said as she walked towards Caius, a murderous glint in her eyes. “Are you coming along, my love? I haven't seen you in battle for centuries.” Caius said as he pulled his wife close to him, burying his face in her delicate neck. “There is a reason why they named Athena after me, Caius. I might prove why I am the goddess of war.” She purred back. I shook my head. “N-no. Please. You do not have to do any of that. I am sorry. It was just a silly nightmare; I promise I am alright!” I pleaded, fearing for the consequences. “Bambina, they hurt you in ways even I think are inhumane. Please, let us take revenge in your name.” Caius said as he looked at me, his gaze almost pleading. I only shook my head again frantically, my breath becoming rapid again. “Piccolina, please.” Felix pleaded as well. He wanted nothing more than to find the bastards who had hurt me but I shook my head again. “Please don't. It will only bring more chaos and problems into this world. I am alright, I promise! I just need to drink some water and get back to bed.” I said as my gaze fell on all the vampires in the room, pleading them with my eyes to not do anything rational. Marcus sighed and carefully picked me up and carried me back to my bed bridal style. He laid down on the bed and cradled me close to his chest, letting me bury my head in his neck. “We will not do anything, Cara. For now.” he whispered. I felt myself immediately relax as I closed my eyes. “Thank you, Marcus.” I muttered as I slowly let sleep take over again.

“Tesora, wake up.” the melodic voice of Heidi was what brought me out of my sleeping state. I groaned softly and rolled over, burying my face in the pillows. “Come on, Tesora. You cannot sleep the day away. Besides, our dear Demetri has organised something to help you relax today.” Heidi whispered in my ear. “Okay, I am up!” I muttered as I slowly sat up, probably mimicking a zombie rising from the grave, making Heidi giggle. Within 30 minutes Heidi had me dressed in this gorgeous orange summer dress that reached all the way down to my ankles. Black heels and with my hair halfway up made the look complete. “Perfect! Now,-” she said as she took a hold of my chin, gently pressing her full lips against mine in a sweet and soft kiss. “- Off you go. Demetri is waiting for you in the garden.” She said as she let go of me and shooed me out of the door.

My heels clacked against the stone floors as I slowly made my way towards the garden. Before I could step onto the stone path leading towards the fountain in the middle of the green and well-kept garden, Demetri walked towards me. He looked quite casual today, wearing black dress pants and a white dress shirt that was buttoned open to halfway his chest. His Volturi crest laid against his bare skin and a bright smile finished the look completely. “Buon pomeriggio, Micetta. I am glad you came.” Demetri said and he grabbed my hand in his, bringing it close to his lips to kiss my knuckles. I blushed lightly as he held my gaze with his eyes. “Buon pomeriggio, Mr. Demetri.” “Just Demetri today, Micetta. It is your day off after all. Follow me, please.” he said as he slowly led me into the garden by my hand towards the large oak tree that decorated and spread a shade over the largest part of the garden. Underneath it a blanket was present with a large basket placed on top of it accompanied by many small and comfortable looking pillows. Demetri helped me to sit down on the blanket before sitting down himself. “This is wonderful, Demetri. Thank you.” I said honestly making the smile on his face grow. “My pleasure, Micetta. You deserve some time off. Wine?” he asked as he grabbed a bottle of red wine from the basket. “Yes please.”

“That did not happen!” I said laughing. “Yes it did, Felix was grinning widely while Afton was just jumping on one leg.” Demetri said as he recalled a time in the past when they trained Chelsea's mate Afton for the first time. “Poor man.” I said chuckling while snuggling closer into his cool chest. The summer sun was burning away and the coolness of his skin made sure I didn't succumb to the heat. “Hm.” Demetri said as he buried his face in my neck, relaxing too. I moved my head back slightly, giving him full access while playing with his crest, noticing the orange diamond at the bottom of it. “Demetri?” “Yes, Micetta?” he muttered in my neck. “How come some of you have a different gem at the bottom of your crest? I mean, I know why the kings and queens have them but it seems some of the guard have them as well.” “Hm. It has mostly to do with the higher guards and the most important people in the coven. Most of us have diamonds in different colours. Each diamond has their own meaning, but they are also linked with each other.” he said as he gently kissed my neck. “What connection?” I asked, my curiosity peaking. Demetri smiled as his lips travelled up my neck towards my ear. “You will figure it out soon enough, Il nostro piccolo pezzo mancante.” he whispered as he placed his lips just below my ear. I moaned softly and closed my eyes as I leaned closer to him again. Demetri grabbed another strawberry and held it against my lips. I smiled and bit into the fresh fruit. I moaned softly at the taste of the sweet fruit and opened my eyes to look up at him. “Too bad you cannot eat anything here.” I muttered. “Oh, but there is one thing I can eat.” he said as the hand that had been resting on my bare thigh underneath my skirt slowly rose upwards. I bit my lip and opened my legs slightly so his hand would reach its destination. “No panties? Good little pet.” he whispered in my ear as he gently sat me back down on the blanket and against the trunk of the tree. Before I knew it, his face and part of his upper body was covered by my skirt as I felt his cool lips against the inside of my thigh. I gasped softly and leaned my head against the trunk as well. “Just relax, Micetta and let me enjoy my treat.” Demetri whispered against my pussy, making his cool breath hit my clit. I moaned softly and felt myself relax slightly. He carefully cupped my bum in his hands, keeping me still as his tongue flicked against my clit, earning him a louder moan. Demetri gently sucked my clit between his lips and moaned himself, sending vibrations through my clit and upwards to my spine. Involuntarily I clamped my thighs against his face, trying to keep him there as his tongue rotated between sucking on my clit and lapping up any juices I spilled, all while his moans mixed with mine in a lovely rhythm. Demetri took his sweet time, but after a while, the knot in my stomach increased as my legs started to shake more violently. “Cum for me, Micetta. I want to taste it.” He purred against my clit as the movements of his tongue increased slightly. I moaned his name loudly as I came all over his tongue and lips. I felt him smirk as he licked up every last drop before popping up from underneath my skirt, his hair now looking deliciously messy as his red eyes had become a dark onyx colour. I panted softly and was caught off guard for a moment when he pressed his lips against mine and gently forced his tongue in my mouth, making me taste myself. I moaned softly at the flavour and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “I want you, sir. Please.” I pleaded, I needed him inside of me. “Very well, but we will take it slowly, Micetta. You have had enough adventure yesterday.” he purred against my lips as he switched our positions making him sit against the tree while I straddled his waist. Demetri claimed my lips with his own again as I felt him undo his belt and zipper making his cock spring free against my thigh. He was the third largest one of them all at a little longer than 11 inches. Felix and Marcus being larger by 13

and 12 inches. Demetri positioned his cock right below my entrance, making it easy for me to slide down his shaft in one, swift motion. We both gasped at the feeling of being connected and took a moment to linger in the feeling. “Oh you feel so nice and warm, Micetta. I could stay forever buried withing you.” Demetri purred in my ear as he slowly started to thrust his hips, hitting the mouth of my womb gently. I moaned softly as I wrapped my arms tighter around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck. Demetri did the same as his thrusts slowly turned into a deliciously steady pace. We both moaned but due to the relaxed nature of the thrusts they weren't extremely loud. It was nice to fuck so slowly yet hitting my spot with every thrust. Soon the knot in my stomach returned and I clamped onto his shoulders, knowing I was close. Demetri smirked against my neck as the speed of his thrusts increased, along with the volume of our moans. “I-I am so close, sir.” “Me too, Micetta. Cum for me again, beautiful.” he growled in my ear as his own orgasm came closer with each trust as well as his fingers skilfully played with my clit to ensure I would cum for him and that I would cum hard. I moaned louder and moved my hips with his and soon enough my second orgasm arrived, leaving me feeling elevated and high. Demetri moaned as he buried his face in my neck and filled me up to the brim in his own sweet release. I panted softly as he held me close to his chest, stroking my long hair. “I will never get enough of you. Never.” he whispered in my ear as he placed a gentle kiss below it, holding me close until the sun went down, his cock never leaving.

(Il nostro piccolo pezzo mancante = Our little missing piece)

#demetri volturi #volturi imagine #aro volturi #felix volturi #volturi #athenodora volturi #sulpicia volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #heidi volturi #twilight imagines #twilight smut #twilight #pet

[aurea-corde]

why you should watch legacies

Hope Mikaelson:

Our resident Bad Bitch™ who had the world’s most dramatic art hoe dad until her parents died for her character development, rip. Comes from a line of the most ancient and terrifying supernatural beings in the world including witches, vampires and werewolves, making her all three, or a tribrid - she has the range! Likes painting and punching, not necessarily in that order. Canonically bisexual queen just trying to cope with her trauma like the rest of us (to varying levels of success).

Josie Saltzman

Openly pansexual smol witch who struggles big time with putting others before herself and crushes on powerful girls. Extremely powerful but doesn't know it. The actress who plays her (Kaylee Bryant, born Kaylee Kaneshiro) has Japanese heritage through her grandfather and speaks it in the show as well.

Lizzie Saltzman

The queen bee/HBIC and Josie’s fraternal twin, also a witch. Has bipolar disorder and all the best one-liners in the show. Implied bi by Josie. Also the only valid influencer, I said what I said.

Penelope Park

A chaos-loving witch with a heart of gold. Knows all the tea on campus and is only mean sometimes. Will pepper in the fact that she is gay (technically bisexual). Frequently referred to as the evil ex of Josie but is also the only one looking out for her. Their relationship is the first time I have ever seen two Asian girls be not straight on a show.

Landon Kirby

The baby supernatural (his species is a season 1 spoiler) whose life reads like A Series of Unfortunate Events. A wholesome nerd just sipping that loving Hope Mikaelson juice and supporting his friends. The actor who plays him is the only Iranian-American I have ever seen in a lead role on TV.

Rafael Waithe

Soft boy werewolf who is just going through a lot. V emotional but can beat the life out any alpha. Adoptive half brother of Landon with the resilience to match. Also sipping the loving Hope Mikaelson juice.

Milton Greasley, aka MG

Our canonically neurodivergent vampire and national treasure. Loves respecting women and hyperfixating on Dracula in front of his class. We see his struggle with impulse control explored in the context of being a supernatural which is neat. 

Kaleb Hawkins

A whole king that can sing! Vampire jock with the snark to boot. Has declared himself to be MG’s entire family. King of the barbecue, in the sense of both meat and roasting other people. Always watching his friends running into danger with disastrous results, helps them anyway. 

Alyssa Chang

Our favourite mean girl and witch who’s too powerful for her own good. Staunchly refuses to be nice to people which is very iconic of her (although we don't see her physically until season 2). Does yoga from behind bars and once read a bad boy vampire so hard he tried to leave the school.

Jed

If I had a nickel for every time a character played by an Asian person (other than Josie) was mean on this show, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot - but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. Werewolf alpha male poster boy whose hobbies include throwing heavy things and making out with Alyssa Chang.

Dorian Williams

Innocent human teacher just Caught Up In this Mess. His powers include a Master’s degree in library science and putting up with supernatural teens.

Pedro

A literal baby boy. Have I mentioned how baby he is? A smol witch and inexplicably Lizzie’s best friend. Everyone protects him, as they should. Will square the fuck up to the Krampus.

#legacies #hope mikaelson #josie saltzman #lizzie saltzman #penelope park #landon kirby #rafael waithe #milton greasley #kaleb hawkins #alyssa chang #legacies jed #dorian williams #legacies pedro

[itsthestutterforme]

Friendzoned (Supernatural)

Characters: Dean x demon!reader, Crowley x reader, Sam x reader

Summary: Y/N admits her feelings for Dean and Dean lies about not feeling the same way as a way to save her friendship. She goes off the deep end and convinces a demon to possess her so she can escape her harsh reality.

--

I've had enough of this. Enough of hiding away my emotions from Dean. He can already tell that something is up. Dean and I met on a vampire hunt in Ohio and we've been friends ever since. He mentioned that I was the youngest hunter he's met and that I shouldn't be hunting alone. I told him to shove it and that was the deal breaker.

He's been there for me when my depressive episodes would spike and I was there for him through Lilith, Abaddon, Megatron and the Leviathans. I used to think that our friendship was just that, friendship. But one night when me, Sam and Dean went to a hunter barbeque, a light bulb went off.

I was talking amongst some old friends when my eyes went looking for Dean. I saw him laughing hard about something. The type of laugh where his face turns red as a tomato and his eyes were screwed shut. Butterflies built up in my stomach and a soft smile tugged at my lips.

"Ooo, I see you eyein' up Dean Winchester." One of my friends teases whilst nudging me with her elbow. "Believe me girl, everyone has at one point. He's fine as hell." I silently curse myself when my cheeks redden with embarrassment. "Girl, stop, you're making her blush," my other friend teases.

"Can you guys just stop? I don't have feelings for him, okay. We're just friends," "Oh yeah? Then why is he looking at you right now?" I look over my shoulder to lock eyes with Dean as he takes a swig of his beer.

He sends me a wink and I roll my eyes. "Just friends my ass," "Stop it," you beg, wanting then to change the subject.

"Girl! They're coming over here!" Sure enough, Dean and Sam walk over to us. "Ready to head out?" Dean asks. "You sure? You seem to be having fun with your pals," "Ah, I'm missing my bed right about now." Dean says as he wraps an arm around my neck. He tightens his grip and pulls my head down as rubs the top of my head with his knuckles.

"Ouch, Dean! Let me go," I exclaim as I hold onto his large forearm. I apply slight pressure to his ribs and he grunts, momentarily letting go of my neck. I push him and jump up to slap the back of his neck. Instead, he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder.

"Dean, put me down!" "See you around ladies," Dean states before advancing towards the Impala. What was that about? When did he become so touchy?

Later that night after a long bath and an even longer time thinking about it, I decided to go for it. I walked up to his room and knocked on the door. "It's open," he calls, and suddenly my nerves started to take over. "D-dean, I need to talk to you about something,"

"You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine.. physically." "If this is about you not fully believing that I'm okay after the Mark, I told y-" "I love you, Dean." "I love you too, Y/N," "Not like that," Dean's face falls and my hands ball up at my sides.

"Y/N, I don't. We can't," "Why not?" "Because after everything that happened, we were there for each. We were able to do that because there was no romance involved. Just commitment to each other."

Words were trapped in my throat and you look away from him. "You're right, I'm sorry." I say softly. He stands from the bed and slowly made his way towards me. "Y/N, you're more than just family to me. You're so beautiful and pure. And I don't want to taint you," he says, trying to touch my face.

I push his hand away and say, "What is this talk of pure? I'm not a virgin, Dean." "That's not what I meant. I.. You're like my daughter, Y/N. There are things that me and Sam went through to keep you safe. To make sure that you don't never feel what we felt." "Daughter?" I say in disbelief.

I take some steps backwards and Dean tried to reach for me. Daggers stab my chest and tear prick my eyes. "I need some air," I rush out of his room and ran into mine. I close the door and lock in case Dean tried to follow me.

I collapse on my bed and rest my back against the headboard. My elbows come into contact with knees as I hold my face in my hands. Why didn't I keep my mouth shut? Did I ruin things between us? I think as I gently cry into my hands.

**

Third Person POV

Things have been quiet and tense between you and Dean. Dean had enough of it. You guys just got back from a hunt and the first place you went was your room. Dean followed you and bursted into your room without warning. Your heart nearly launched outside of your chest. "What the hell, Dean?!"

"We need to- where are you going?" He asks when he sees a duffel bag on the bed. "Home, my Mom wanted me to visit. And I need a change in scenery," you lie. You just wanted to leave the bunker and find something or someone that makes you feel like someone. Hunters very existence is to be invisible, go into towns undetected. They have to be nobodies to thrive as a hunter.

And you're tired of being a nobody. You want to be a somebody. "You can't leave when we are on bad terms," "That's what I'm doing," Dean puts his hand over yours to stop you from packing. "Y/N, look at me." You slowly comply and he adds, "I care for you deeply, and I'll do anything to bring things back to the way they were."

"I just need time," you say. Dean takes a moment to look into your eyes in search for a lie. And he found one. He knew you like the back of his hand, of course he knew when you were lying. "You're lying. Just tell me what you want, Y/N. And I'll do it." "You want to know what I want? I want out! I want to make something of myself," you snap.

You pull away from him and he stands up straight. "That's not what you want," "How the hell are you going to tell me what I do or don't want?" "Because I know you better than you know yourself. You just want to belong," "Fine, you're right. But I don't belong here." "You don't mean that." He crosses his arms and narrow his eyes at me.

"And what if I do," you say, mimicking his actions. "You're not leaving," he says before advancing towards the door. He closes it and you heard multiple locks clicking. You never understood why the doors locked on the outside. "Wh-- are you serious?" You bang on the door and yell, "Let me out of here!"

"I would cancel your plans with your mother if I were you," "God, you are such an asshole, Dean!" You collapse to the floor and lean your back on the cold, rusted door. You wanted out of here, which means that you had two options. Both you would regret, but what the hell. You only live once right?

You find yourself talking to Crowley until he appeared. He looked around the room with his hands stuffed into the pocket of his black trench coat. "Well this is unexpected," he says amusingly. "I was about to say the same thing," "Any particular reason why you called? Or are you just lonely?"

"If you even think about it, I will kill you," you threatened, brushing off your hands as you stand up from the ground. "You a most definitely a Winchester," he says with a chuckle. You roll your eyes and say, "I need to ask you a favor,"

"Let me guess, get you out of here? If I may ask, how did you get grounded anyway?" "None of your business and that's not what I was going to ask." "Well spill it out then. I don't have all day," "I want you to find a demon to possess me," you say all in one blurb.

"Damn, you're full of surprises, aren't you?" "Are you going to do it or not?" "That depends if you're completely aware of what you're asking." You lift your shirt where your devil's seal resided. Taking out your pocket knife, you cut through and broke the seal.

"I guess you are." He snaps his fingers and black smoke comes from the vent and aim straight towards you. "Good luck, darling," Crowley says before leaving. You fall to the ground and fell unconscious momentarily.

The demon was in charge and looked around the room. They stood from the ground and looked in the mirror. "Finally, a hottie." The demon finished packing their belongings and blinked into the garage to hijack a car.

"Is that the garage?" Sam asks while he was in the middle of arguing with Dean. "Y/N," Dean says before sprinting towards the room. Sam ran into the garage but Y/N was already long gone. Dean's eyebrows furrow when he sees the door was still locked and shut. It wasn't until he smelled sulfur that he knew what it was.

"Sam, she's possessed," Dean says. "What? How? She has the devil's seal, right?" "She must of broken it. I can't believe she would do this," "I can't believe you locked her in the room like some kid," Sam snaps.

"So you're saying that this is my fault?" "I'm saying that you could've handled it better." "I don't have time for this, I have to find her." "Where would you even start?" They both look at each other for a few seconds before saying in unison, "Crowley,"

Weeks went by and you were in the wind. But truth be told, you were having the time of your life. Crowley made sure to give you the soul of an gay, extroverted fuck boy. The exact opposite of who you were. The demon has been bouncing between bars and clubs, bring home new guys every other night.

They made sure to stay under the radar so the Winchester couldn't track them. But one night, they decided to twerk on the bar with a bottle of Hennessy in their hand. Sam found it through an algorithm he created and showed it to Dean.

"What the hell is sh- is she twerking?" Dean says both in disbelief and disappointment. "It seems like she's-" "Like she's what, Sam?" Dean snap, unable to pull his eyes away from the computer screen. "She's having fun."

"Come on, that's just the demon possessing her," he says, his eyes still glue to the computer. Sam closes the computer and Dean's eyes were starting to glaze over. "What if she doesn't want to be found?" Dean says softly.

"She'll miss home, eventually. She just needs time." "How much time, Sam! She's being selfish! She's acting like our relationship is one sided. I love her just as much as she loves me." "As friends, Dean. She needs to accept the fact that you see her as a daughter,"

"I don't actually see her as a daughter. I don't even know why I said that." Dean sits down and placed a hand over his face. "You have to tell her how you really feel, dude. Time's running out." "Listen, she's in Detroit. That's almost a half day's drive. If we leave now, we can get there at 8 in the morning." Sam adds.

In ten minutes, the made their go bags and took the Impala out of the garage. When they get there, Dean got straight to business after he downed three coffees. Time is of the essence when it comes to this demon. They never stay in the same town for longer than two days.

Sam and Dean ask around for Y/N and a man overhears her name. He knows the name because she slept with him last night after they met each other at a club. "Hey, is she in trouble or anything?" He asks.

"No, she's not. She's our family and we just want to make sure she's okay," Sam states. "The last I saw her, she was in Victory Hotel. You guys are some lucky bucks," "And why is that?" Dean asks.

He knows where this was going, but didn't care. He was looking for something to punch anyway. "She does this little twisting trick when she's on top that I--" Dean's fist collides with the man's face. He catches him before he hits the ground to slam his face against the bar counter.

"So she is your girlfriend," the bar tender says to Dean. Dean storms out of the bar and everyone looks to Sam in deafening silence. A nervous smile tugs at his lips and he awkwardly walks out of the bar.

Dean waits for Sam before driving to Victory Hotel. Without another thought, Dean walks in and slams $200 on the counter where the clerk resided. "Y/N, what room is she in?" Dean asks. "R-room 30," the clerk stumbled.

"Dean, wait," Sam calls out as he follows Dean up the stairs to Room 30. "You have to calm down," Dean ignores him and kicks the door in. The demon yelps out in shock before a playful smirk fell on their lips. "Hey there, Deany boy. I'm assuming you're here for you little lady back." They ask.

"Put her on," Dean commands. "What if I don't, huh? What exactly would you do to me? To her. Absolutely nothing," they taunt. "Why did she do it?" Dean asks, getting closer. "She said that she wanted to feel like someone instead of a nobody lurking in the shadows. And I don't blame her, you called her your daughter. Ouch."

"I would want to leave you too," "She really wanted to leave?" "You know what? How about you talk to her," the demon says. Y/N came to the surface and you nearly lost balance. "Y/N?" Sam asked. You looked over to him first before cowering under Dean's angry gaze.

"You had us worried sick about you, Y/N. What the hell were you thinking!" "For once, I was thinking about me and my life, Dean! Is that so hard for you to comprehend!" "You hate being called a child, yet here you are, acting like one!"

"Screw you!" "You mean like you did the grocery list of guys." Your hand comes up and slaps him. Your hand print instantly made a mark on his cheek. "My sex life is none of business," "You me to kiss you? You want me to be with you, fine."

Dean rushes over to you. "No, it has to be your choice. Not an ultimatum. And you made it clear that you didn't--". Dean's hand finds your stomach and pushes you into the nearest wall.

Before you could object, he slams his lips on yours. Your body instantly tenses and every time you try to pull away, he follows your lips. "I'll just be outside then," Sam says. Your legs became jello and you no longer felt the need to fight him.

He steps closer to you until your body melted into his. He softly pecks your lips every time you try to speak. When he finally pulls away, you are completely speechless and tired. "I lied about before," he whispers.

You look into his eyes and a small part of you believed him, but not enough of you did. "Let's go," You say to the demon. "No," Dean says but the demon already took over. "Whew, you really know how to make a girl wet. I'll have to take care of that later. Those lips certainly works wonders and you almost won her over.. almost."

Dean tries to tackle the demon but with the flick of wrist, they send Dean crashing into the wall. "Dean!" Sam says as he rushes into the room. "Oh, and Y/N says to stop looking for her. Tootles!" They said before blinking elsewhere. "Damn it!" Dean yells before flipping the table. "Get Crowley on the phone, now!"

**

With Crowley and Cas' help, they summoned Y/N within minutes. They trapped her in a devil's trap and the demon crossed their arms. "You really don't know how to take a.. hint." The demon says when they see Crowley standing in the corner. "My apologies, my liege," the demon says.

Crowley walks up to them and says, "Get out." "I didn't hurt her, like you made me promise, my liege," "Either you get out or I kill you. Your choice," Dean says, taking out his inscribed knife. "Oh please, you would rather stab yourself than stab her,"

Crowley snapped his fingers and the demon left Y/N's body. "I'll deal with you later," Crowley says to the demon as it goes back to Hell. You collapse to the ground and slowly lift your head to see everyone. Embarrassment warms your cheeks and your gaze falls to the ground.

"Guys, we should give them some privacy," Sam says. Dean kneels down next to you but you refuse to meet his gaze. "Y/N, you gotta talk to me, please." "I don't even know what to say, Dean."

"Let's start at the night after the barbeque," "Let's not, Dean. I don't want to relive that pain," "What about my pain, huh? What about my suffering?"

"Y/N, I'm sorry for hurting you and I'm sorry for lying to you." You stand up from the ground and look down at Dean. He stands up and brushes the dirt from his hands. "But I understand if you want to leave," he adds.

You turn to walk towards the door but stop yourself when your hand touches the cold door knob. You turn back around and run into Dean's arms. You squeeze him as hard you could and he tightened his grip on you.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Dean," you whimper and he says, "There's nothing to be sorry about. You found a way to cope and I should have judge you on that."

"Dean, about that kiss," you say and Dean pulls away from you slightly. He looks down at you but didn't move his hands. It was like he was waiting for the signal to kiss you.

"You were right, about leaving things as friends. You are more committed that way. As ass backwards as that sounds, it finally makes sense now."

"But kiss me like that again, and that won't be the case anymore." You joke but Dean still looked quite serious. "Dean?" He grabbed the back of your neck and captures your lips in a burningly slow kiss.

He brings you closer by the hips and slides his tongue against yours. You moan softly and try to pull away before you coupf make anymore noise. But of course, he follows your lips and bite down on your bottom lip.

You finally managed to pull away from him and put your fingers against his lips so he wouldn't kiss you again. "My God," you say softly. "We'll continue this later, but I'm hungry and I have to kiss and make up with the rest of the team," you add, earning an eyebrow raise from Dean. "Not actually kiss, Dean. It's an expression,"

"I know, and I never liked it," he says, squeezing your hips. Now you start to wonder what exactly you got yourself into?

#demon!reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #sam and dean #sam x reader #crowley x reader

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics that are more plot-heavy in nature. We tried to choose fics that had a plot beyond Louis and Harry’s relationship. Happy reading!

1) Once Upon A Dream | Explicit | 33319 words | Sequel

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

2) Boiling Blood Will Circulate | Explicit | 42420 words

The wait isn’t long before something starts rustling in the bushes. Harry takes aim, squeezes the trigger, body moving unconsciously. They’re motions he’s done a thousand times before, and his body knows how to do it without the input of his brain now. It’s what makes him such a good shot.

He misses. The shot misses.

Something howls in the woods, a pretty clear indication that Harry hit it, but there’s no telltale sounds of a big body dropping, no animal charging out at him to take him out before he can finish the job.

Something does turn and run, though. “Fuck,” Harry spits out, scrambling to his feet and slinging the rifle back over his shoulder, giving chase. He’s not going to lose this hunt.

The trail of blood goes on longer than Harry thought it would. He doesn’t know how long he runs for, but his muscles are burning, chest heaving with exertion, until the trail just - goes dead. No more blood, just like that.

“Fuck,” Harry says.

3) The Fairy Ring | Explicit | 46170 words

A medieval fantasy AU in which Harry is a prince in disguise and Louis is the king of the faeries.

4) Tied Down | Explicit | 48551 words

The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson.   The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall.  For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

5) Now That This Old World Is Ending | Explicit | 49184 words

Needing a good distraction from his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson goes on a camping trip with his friends to Northern England. However, a different kind of distraction arises when his friends disappear from their camp. Hellbent on finding them, Louis soon discovers that the area has been taken over by a cult and teams up with a resentful archer with fire in his eyes and blood on his hands.

Far Cry inspired AU.

6) It's A Long Way Down | Explicit | 52658 words

It’s June 2013, and the legalization of gay marriage is the most discussed political issue in the country. As a member of parliament Louis Tomlinson has decided to do everything under his power to keep marriage between a man and a woman. Little does he know a boy with green eyes and pink lips from his past is on a mission to change his mind.

7) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

8) Somethin’ Bout You | Explicit | 59855 words

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

9) Like Real People Do | Explicit | 64175 words

Louis didn’t ask for a lot of things. He didn’t ask for his entire family to die in a car crash that may or may not have been his fault. He didn’t ask to get powers out of that accident, either, powers that eventually led him into a two-year relationship with a man who was far more than met the eye. But one night, he chose to ask for a replacement to a broken camera from someone he hadn’t spoken to in a year and a half. He did ask for that. And that kind of led to everything else.

10) We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) | Not Rated | 74409 words

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

11) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

 Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

12) Through Struggles, To The Stars | Explicit | 80582 words

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what's right.

13) Cameras Flashing | Explicit | 81773 words

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

14) And Down the Long and Silent Street | Mature | 86090 words

Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

15) A Taste Of Desire | Explicit | 104414 words

A Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

16) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users. This fic is also a sequel to this fic, so you probably want to read that fic first.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

17) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices | Mature | 126057 words

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

18) Run Like the Devil | Explicit | 138095 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions.

Supernatural AU. Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

19) You Are The Blood | Explicit | 175151 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions.

A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

20) Collision | Not Rated | 209473 words

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #larry #blp #blp fic recs #plot-heavy

[riverswater]

hello! do you think you could give me a larry fic to read? like any fic at all, 50k words or so? i can’t decide what to read and i’m super indecisive aksjjsjsjs

Hiiii deaaar!! I didn't know how to choose them and I'm also very tired so have a mix of my favorite and some I've read recently 💗💫

🌻 you and you are sure together, 48k

“I’m sorry to bother you twice in one day,” Harry says, settling on Louis’ beanbag—thankfully clear of dirty socks, as Louis had become keenly aware of his room’s being a tip after Harry’s stumbling departure and had gone on one of his intermittent tidying sprees right after he’d left, which consist mostly of shoving clothes into the hamper and papers into his rucksack or one of his desk drawers. Louis’ never been all that good with cleaning. He’d skipped lunch (which is absolutely not a problem) so thankfully all the dishes are clean, including the mug he’s designated for his residents in need of tea during a crisis.

Which—right, Harry’s here. Again.

AU. The first day of fall term, Louis hits one of his residents in the face with a door. Later that day, said resident seeks refuge after a fight with his roommate.

It becomes a thing.

And then it becomes something else.

🌻 May We Stay Lost On Our Way Home, 74k

Harry thought he had a handle on things. He hasn’t gotten papped in over a month, even the most zealous of fans have given up on finding his location, the Fortress is starting to look hospitable, and Niall just learned how to make shrimp bisque. Even having a massive crush on a gorgeous mythical woodland creature was working out for him.

Most of the time.

On March 31st, Harry Styles disappears. Though many speculate, only two people know where to find him: Niall, his former guitarist, and Zayn, who follows where Niall leads.

The fact the biggest boy band in the world broke up two weeks earlier might be related to the disappearance. The fact Harry meets a fairy named Louis in the woods is a whole other matter.

(Liam is a centaur.)

🌻 We're Okay, 153k

It's funny, really, that their lives hadn't intercepted before that point. That all it took was one little thing that set off a chain reaction of circumstances which led them all to each other. But it was for the best, really, because in the end, with each other, they were all okay.

And if you asked them, the whole thing could be blamed on Liam sleeping in, for once in his life.

🌻 We The Fireworks, 103k

It’s the morning after the night before and Louis doesn’t know how on earth he made it home in one piece but he reckons it maybe has something to do with the curly-haired stranger, standing half-naked in his kitchen. The problem is that this mysterious stranger, who has a huge secret and an even huger heart, doesn’t seem to plan on leaving Louis’ life anytime soon and doesn’t seem to be able to get it into his stupidly adorable, curly head that Louis is absolutely, utterly, completely, one hundred percent beyond help. Out of reach. Lost in the night.

Or: The AU where Louis needs saving and Harry wants to save him but doesn’t want to admit that maybe he needs saving a little bit too.

🌻 Amsterdam With You, 182k

In Louis’ opinion Amsterdam is so overrated, and now that he moved here he can see all its flaws: it’s always raining (even more than in London), he’s lonely and everyone he meets is unfriendly and distant; but, above all, he misses his family like crazy, confined here. Not surprising how being hit by a bike by a curly, pensive guy is the best thing that happens to him in three months (or maybe even in 27 years).

Or: how to fall in love in a city that you hate, featuring protests, lights, books, cuddles and a whole lot of growth (and tea).

🌻 heroes of the orange skies, 30k

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

🌻 you came into my life, 57k

They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?”

Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no.

“Not here,” Liam says finally.

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

🌻 we were promised the world (but so was everyone else), 94k

Louis and Harry are young and broke. For their daughter, they figure it out together.

🌻 Under The Shimmering Surface, 61k

Louis thinks back on his small house full of high-voltage little sisters and his messy bedroom and the neighborhood kids he’d play with when the summer nights ran long and he loved being hugged by the sun. His mind shifts to when he left, ran away and into the dark of night. His bloodlust and sex crazed life lit only by the stars and lonely moons in different phases as he skipped from one town to the next across the country.

In hindsight, falling in love doesn’t sound so bad.

aka the fic where louis is a self-indulgent vampire, harry is smart and stronger than louis knows, and Seattle is just the perfect mix of mystery and alcohol and home for the right kind of love to brew (or maybe that’s just the witch’s potions fogging up the sky)

#Happy reading!! Hope you'll find something good in these #I feel like you may have already read these bc they're all a bit old or well known but fkshfks haven't read much lately!!Aaah exams yknow : #My fic rec #Larry #larry fanfiction #Fic rec #Asks #Anon

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #375

“why do i see her, the never-ending night  /  why do i see her, wearing nothing but the dark?”

Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? I hold Rhett & Link responsible for "curing" my homophobia. I went through a phase where I shipped them like CRAZY, and they're still my "OTP," and it really made me question why I had such a disgusting belief. The switch was officially flipped when listening to their podcast with Hannah Hart, who discussed growing up as a lesbian surrounded by homophobia. Let me tell you, it felt fucking good to let that repulsive belief go. It was my former religion that tied me to it, but it could no longer be an excuse to me, even when I stayed Christian a while longer. And here I am now as a bisexual woman who wants to deck younger me dead in the face. :') Were you ever scared of driving? What scared you about it? I am TERRIFIED of driving. I'm most scared of getting in a wreck and killing somebody, something I would never. Ever. Ever. Forgive myself for. I'm also petrified of, once again, getting in a wreck and I wind up paralyzed from the neck down. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? Nothing very exciting. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Toxic masculinity for an essay in college. What is a dish you absolutely love, but hate to prepare yourself? I don't cook, so. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New York. Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? No. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because we had to get out of our former house because the growing mold problem was a health hazard (especially for Mom, given her then-recent cancer diagnosis), and our family friend newly owned this house as a part of the former resident's will. Said resident knew Mom as well and the house problems, so she wanted Tobey to help us into this house anyway. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I literally couldn't care less. I do it a lot. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? No; Mom just pays attention to the price. Are you currently looking for a new job? No. I don't plan to until I'm done with TMS therapy. Are any of your relatives musicians? No. Have you ever had an asthma attack? Thank goodness no. My mom has asthma and I have seen her have an attack, so I know they're terrifying. Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? There was one occasion during a psych hospital stay that my roommate had WILD anger issues. She would explode out of seemingly NOWHERE, to the point once or twice she had to be put in solitary because she would literally scream and damage shit, like throwing tables and such. She scared the piss out of me to the point I finally plucked up the courage to tell the nurses that I needed a different room. What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I don't remember. Have you ever been hospitalized for a day or more? At psych hospitals. I think my shortest visit was just shy of a week. Have you ever had surgery? Two. Are you lonely? I'm admittedly very lonely. Are you mad at someone right now? No. Do you eat late at night? I sometimes need a small midnight or so snack because I cannoooooooot sleep when my stomach is growling. If I'm in basically any sort of discomfort, I have extreme trouble sleeping. Who do you miss? A lot of people. I miss Jason, Megan, Mini, Hannia, Emily, Journee... I don't feel like dwelling on those I've lost. Who do you admire most? Mark. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Maybe a cat. Quick, agile, stealthy, majestic, well-equipped to defend itself... sounds pretty good. Are you more artistic or mathematical? Definitely more artistic. Which supermarket do you usually shop at? Wal-Mart. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? I'm not sure, but it's been a while. Maybe around a month. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I believe I had a 3 Musketeers because I was really craving one. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? The woman who was doing my evaluation to determine if I was a good fit for TMS therapy. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? I think I might have a vague idea, but I don't really remember. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yep. It sounds cheesy, but I do mean it when I say a beautiful inside blossoms into the body itself for me personally. Does the last person you kissed have brown eyes? Yes. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? I guess you could say Girt, because I had a pretty big crush on him when I started HS. We were just friends for way too long that when we finally dated years upon years later, it felt much too weird. He really was my "brother from another mother" by that point. Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Aaaaand he left. :^) If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want to dye my hair pastel colors so very badly. Do you know what the Enneagram is and if so, what’s your type? INFP. Do you listen to Mayday Parade? I only know "Terrible Things," which I positively adore. Do you have trouble falling asleep at night? I have an extremely hard time sleeping at night. It's honestly one reason I sometimes sleep so much during the day. Are you on a laptop, desktop or phone/iPod? A laptop. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? I've screamed into a pillow. What’s the longest movie you’ve ever watched? I dunno, maybe over three hours? What was the last thing you watched on Netflix or Hulu? I have no clue. What do you think about your current relationship status? I mean I miss being in love and having someone who sees a future with me, but I know in the deepest part of me that it's wiser that I stay single until I figure some things out. Of most concern, I don't have a job or even a confident sign I'll have one soon, I'm not in school headed for a career, I don't drive, I don't cook... I'm a liability, financially and in other ways. It wouldn't be fair to my partner or even myself to go into a relationship with a heavy risk of heartbreak because I'm taking too long to get to where I want to be. I'm 25 now - if/when I get into a relationship, I want forever, and I'm not wasting time on anyone for almost inevitable failure as romantic partners. I want to AT LEAST have a steady job before I enter another relationship. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. Do you go out on dates? I have no one to go on a date with. Do you kiss on the first date? I never have and probably wouldn't, but I guess if things went very well and I was really into the person, maybe I would. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? Doing to do. Would you rather receive a stuffed animal, flowers, or chocolate? I'd really appreciate any. I think flowers are sorta overrated though honestly, like someone ripped some healthy flowers from their roots and doomed them to a quickly-approaching death, but society still has a part of me thinking "oh that's sweet." I think more than anything, I'd be crazy over a meerkat plushy. Or would expensive jewelry just be fine? You really don't have to do that for me; I don't really wear much jewelry at all anyway. Odds are you'd be wasting your money. What’s the cheesiest romantic gift you’ve ever received? I don't know. Do you like romantic poetry? Yessssssssss. Have you ever been rickrolled? I'm unsure. Do you like bologna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Have you ever had a nose bleed? Yes. Have you ever puked on a fair ride before? No, because I don't go on rides that generally induce that sort of risk. What animals have you ridden? Just ponies. What is your parents' idea of grounding you? Taking away my access to the computer. Dragons or unicorns? Dragons! Do you wish vampires existed? Uh, no. At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm going through another phase of really digging "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Have you ever been pantsed? No. What is your favorite magazine? I don’t read any. Did you ever like Barbies? Do you currently like Barbies? I never really was, I just played with them when my little sister wanted to. I was more into playing with my dinosaurs and Pokemon and stuff. I'm not into them now, either. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what songs are "hits" right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fire, aesthetically. Have you ever been to a wild party? Nah. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? I don't own a robe. Is the last person you kissed gay? She's demisexual. What breed was the last dog you saw? She's some sort of hound mix. We think there might be dalmatian in her, too. What type of day are you having? It's been all right. I'm just REALLY not feeling this damn heat. Driving an hour and back to the TMS office in a car that has no A/C is agony. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced multiple times, and I want to do it again, but this time with a nostril hoop versus a stud so the goddamn thing stays in. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? I have an incredibly strong preference for cold weather. Fuck the heat. Like just 70*F is "too hot" to me. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Do you like rain? Yes, but I don't like being caught out in it. I just like looking at and listening to it. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yep. Do you like to cuddle? If I really like you and it's not too hot, yeah. Are you shy? I'm excruciatingly shy. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Hunny, I'd do that for free. Which do you like better- zebra print or leopard print? I'm not really a fan of either particular pattern on anything but the animal. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don't have my own car, but Mom has one that allows her to park in her old school's parking lot. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No. My sister Misty, tho

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''her silent language'' by dark tranquility

[unveilhq]

congratulations on your acceptance, tommy, spoop, harrison, tiny, & rhi ! please make sure you check the next steps here

evan mock, pansexual, male + he/him  → isn’t that angelo mercado? i’ve seen them hanging out with the vampires. i hear they're 849, but they’ve only been in alexandria for less than a month. they seem to be curious & sensitive, but also reserved & self-flagellating.

rafael silva, gay, male + he/him → isn’t that oscar ribeiro? i’ve seen them hanging out with the gorgons. i hear they’re 225 years old, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 17 years. they seem to be charismatic & flirtatious, but also dangerous & extravagant.

finn cole, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that alistair dunbar? i’ve seen them hanging out with the were-creatures. i hear they're 26, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 4 years. they seem to be outgoing & active, but also hotheaded & childish. it’s cool that their animal counterpart is a wolf!

julian morris, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that kyle riddoch? i’ve seen them hanging out with the were-creatures. i hear they're 34, but they’ve only been in alexandria for a month. they seem to be bubbly & hard working, but also ditzy & gullible. it’s cool that their animal counterpart is a wolf!

jesse lee soffer, homosexual, male + he/him → isn’t that hal allen? i’ve seen them hanging out with the banshees. i hear they’re 39, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 9 years. they seem to be brave & determined, but also sarcastic & quick tempered.

tom blyth, bisexual, cis male + he/him/they/them → isn’t that evern snow? i’ve seen them hanging out with the familiars. i hear they’re 27, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 3 years. they seem to be observant & resourceful, but also two faced & manipulative.

jacob artist, gay, trans male he/they → isn’t that arsena lareux? i’ve seen them hanging out with the sirens. i hear they’re 25, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 3 years. they seem to be dreamy & enchanting, but also bitter & vengeful.

armani jackson, gay, trans male, he/they → isn’t that artemisia lareux? i’ve seen them hanging out with the sirens. i hear they’re 21, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 3 years. they seem to be dependable & comforting, but also dismissive & closed off.

andré lamoglia, pansexual + panromantic, genderfluid + he/they → isn’t that icarus lovelace? i’ve seen them hanging out with the cupids. i hear they’re 128, but they’ve only been in alexandria for 20 years. they seem to be ardent + vivacious, but also heedless + oblivious.

we also have a new WANTED CONNECTION!

did you hear noah byrne (jonathan bailey), our resident siphoner, is looking for their ex one night stand? they’re an any year old any spiecies who arrived in the chateau recently. they look like matt bomer, UTP. the player does not require you to contact them prior to filling this out. - basically this connection is for the man who had a one night stand with noah years ago and gave him the amulet that noah now uses to siphon his powers. noah may have fallen a bit in love with him that night and still thinks about him but hasn't seen him since. they can be as kind or as deceptive as you desire them to be. would love it if they still had a sexual thing once they reunite. - @drzxmlxnd 

the following have been dropped, their fcs reopened!

ismene o'hara ( andre lamoglia )

elisha banes ( rainer dawn )

nessa lee ( booboo stewart )

#unveilaccepted

[asnakewithwingsisadragon]

Updated list of the bitches in this system because Gods know we needed it, go!

• Fae- Actual owner of the body. Has not been fully “themself” since they were like 6 (when Harl got here). Always co-cons with someone because they can’t stand being out alone.  Doesn’t know or care what we do with their life. Terrified of people. Has left us alone for extended periods of time. If you think you’ve talked to them, there’s a 99% chance it was actually Claire, Amanda, or Becky.  Actually a very sweet kid, but very hurt. Will go to the end of the world for their friends. Can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. Paints themself as a bitch but is a softie. Their mom cannot tell the difference between them and Becky. Diabetic, to Nidia’s displeasure. Closet Gryffindor turned Slytherin in order to survive.

• Amanda – Our system’s “guard dog”/Head Bitch in Charge. Much more complicated than that. The real author of Fae’s thigh scars (barely visible now), and maybe the only reason we made it through high school. The little voice that says “kill everyone and blame it on me”. Zero concern for consequences for herself. Impulse control consists of “Jail is awful and Fae doesn’t deserve it”.  She’s over 30.

• Lisbeth (Sally)- Just…Sally. The other voice that wants to kill everyone but doesn’t because she actually thinks about the consequences of her actions. Max is technically her partner, but we don’t talk about that (you can ask). I think she’s 30-something, but might as well be Fae’s age.

• Claire- Possibly Fae’s projection of herself into different universes. She can be 6, 17, 24 and 35. Last name Constantine. From Liverpool. Awful accent. Please don’t call her Australian. Another closet Gryffindor turned Slytherin.  Most of Fae’s friends are actually hers. Has been Fae for longer than Fae has been Fae. Likes soccer and we’re sorry. Punk. Hella Punk. Also hella broke.

• Mara- Claire’s sister (maybe twin). Approach with caution. (One of the several sexual alters, can be the same ages as Claire) Responsible for most of Fae’s awful dating decisions.

• Valentina- Rarely comes out, but she’s apparently God? We don’t know. Seems like she knows everyone, though. She always looks 20-something, but we know she’s older.

• Nidia- Claire’s daughter and the pure incarnation of Fae’s ADHD. A Jedi. Weirdest kid EVER. Super compassionate. Wears heart on her sleeve.  Can be 5, 9, 16 and 21. Impulse control is 100% artificial, but existent. Can, like Amanda, drink up to 3 cans of Monster Energy Drink in a row without batting a lash. Will eat ALL THE CANDY. The reason we need to carry an extra insulin syringe with us most of the time. Pours fun dip and sweetarts into her drinks. The kind of kid child leashes were invented for.

• Hellena- Mara’s daughter. STAY AWAY. Evil incarnate. Abusive A.F. Can and will destroy you. In her 20’s

• Christine- Hell’s identical twin. Remember that girl in Mean Girls who wants to bake a cake out of sunshine and rainbows and smiles? Christine is that cake. Rarely out. Same age as Hell.

• Evey- Hell and Chris’ big sister. That one kid with the pink hair and lots of tattoos. Zero impulse control.  Always looks like a teenager for some reason (not over 25)

• Vlad- Agender/Genderqueer mystical creature of the forest. Valentina’s child. Awesome person in general. Permanently 17.

• Harley- Yup. THAT Harley. You know the drill. She’s actually the one who makes all the fun plans because she’s the one who has the energy for it. Gets along with everyone until she doesn’t. Can drink us all under the table. Can drink you under the table. Has been Fae for longer than Claire has been Fae. Was the first one here, so she has tattoo privileges. And dating privileges. And everything privileges, basically. If I say how old she is, I may not live to see another day. Fae’s real mum. Will take you to Petco on exam week to pet puppies. Will yell “doge!” out loud.

Pets every dog. Will steal Teddy from Max.

• Edward- Mr. Nigma, sir. Somehow has better makeup skills than all the girls here combined.  If his attitude was as nice as his eyebrows, he’d rule the world by now. EVERYTHING HAS QUESTION MARKS. Knows more than anyone.  Is actually a genius. Wastes his time trying to school the little ones (and trying to get Naya to use proper words).  Smug bastard. Probs 40-something.

• Cass- Also from comics. EVERYTHING IS YELLOW (yiyo). Doesn’t talk much, but is always fun to have around. Will make you watch animated movies and take you to Starbucks. Will also make you work out. Can be 5, 9, 18 and 25. Smol Cass is a fan of pokemon. If it’s yellow, it belongs to her.

• Naya- Cass’ child. Has her own language, featuring words like “kaijukata”, “pakato”, and “omashii” (“Kaiju attack”, an insult of her own invention, and her word for “mother”.) There are no sidewalks, only pedestrian lanes. Biggest Kaiju Enthusiast. Wants to be Mako Mori.

• M.J.- Has been here for as long as Harley has. Isn’t around as much. The difference between her and Claire is that you can actually understand what MJ says when she gets mad. Probs 25 forever.

• Danni- Amanda’s daughter. Will also fuck you up. Has the weirdest kinks.  23

• Miranda- Danni’s daughter. Don’t ask. Also a sexual alter. 21

• Martha- Miranda’s sister. Level-headed.  A psychiatrist. 21. Actually the most mature person in this head, along with Tári.

• Alice- Nidia’s daughter. Also a psychiatrist. Likes psychoanalyzing people. Type 1 bipolar. Thinks all Arkham inmates are humans and wants to help. Will probably end up as an Arkham Inmate herself. Age slides. Toddler Alice is the devil. Can be 5, 9, and 21

• Alyssa- Mara’s best friend. Take Alice out of wonderland and teach her ballet, then add a sprinkle of Luna Lovegood. Permanently 17-ish.

• Robin- Alice’s little sister. Wants to be Carrie Kelly when she grows up. Terrified of squirrels. Can be 5 and 18. Lesbiab. Lesebeb. Girls. Yes.

• Tári- Alice and Robin’s eldest sister. Autistic. Genius extraordinaire. Loves to talk to Eddie. Often one of them leaves the conversation feeling stupid (it isn’t Tári). Loves Legos. REALLY LOVES LEGOS. Forensic Anthropologist/ wants to be Bones when she grows up. Vegetarian. Can be 12/17/21.

• Frances- Harley’s kid. Don’t ask, this was super weird. Frances herself is super weird. She hears voices. The voices tell her to do things. She rarely listens. Actually super polite. Has “opal” hair. 18-20. We don’t really know.  If we’re gonna have a sub-system, it will probably be because of Frankie.

• Shilo- Shilo Wallace. Infected by her genetics. Her nightmares are the worst. Once made Amanda and Sally fight over a pair of combat boots just so she could get to keep them. Probably Becky’s best friend in here.

• Bellatrix- That one got here on her own. Over 50. Still looks great.

• Azula- also got here on her own.

• Cassiopeia- Bella’s biggest mistake. Best teacher ever. Resident hipster chick. Is actually here to keep a little group of alters from causing too much mayhem.  28.

• Ascella- Lesbian extraordinaire. Sees dead people. I’m not even kidding. Permanently 23.

• Jamie Moriarty- Another one who got here on her own. Our self confidence boosts and power trips. Will maybe kill someone. Better than you and is not afraid to let you know.  Fae’s teachers were terrified of her.

Everyone’s terrified of her; I don’t know who we think we’re kidding. 32.

• Lestat- Fae’s gay vampire boyfriend. Is rarely around anymore. Probably for the best. 260-ish years old. Prick.

• Lindsay - THE definitive Sexual alter. From a comic book oneshot. Amanda on steroids, but if Amanda knew how to socialize. Loves horror, movies, photography and monsters. 26. 

• Becky - Called “morbid” for a reason. Disabled as all fuck. Autistic/ADHD, connective tissue disorder. A lawyer. Loves to argue. Jon Crane’s wife (at least here). 30ish. Always cold and always in pain. If we cancel plans, it’s most likely her fault and she’s sorry.

• Liliana - Necromancer. Big Titty Goth GF. We love and cherish her, alcoholism and all. Will never be over Jace and she knows it.

• Chandra - Pyromancer extraordinaire with severe ADHD. A lot like Fae in a lot of ways. Decidedly Pansexual, thank you very much. 25.

• Vraska - Ravnican to the core, but also a fantastic pirate. Great leader, good friend, fun to be around. Has the huskiest voice in the system. Has the worst flashbacks out of all of us. Can be 19 and 29. • Kari - Vraska and Jace’s kid. Hypermelanistic gorgon, telepath like her dad. Fun to be around. Can be 7, 12 and 25.

• Ral - Very very Izzet, and very very gay, and we love him for it. Very intelligent, good at fixing and making things with his hands. Confident, charismatic, and a workaholic. Tomik’s husband. Sometimes with Max. In his 40’s

• Tomik - Ral’s husband. Quiet, but very caring and polite.Also very smart and hard-working, always loves to learn new things and meet new people. 27-ish. Very gay, too. Makeup skills up there with Eddie’s.

• Teysa - Tomik’s boss. A Boss Ass Rich Bitch, and we love her lots for it. Very polite and interesting to be around. Could buy us all and our families ten times. Old, but looks to be in her early 30’s.

• Avacyn - An angel from Innistrad. Here to protect us. Really likes listening to old pop-punk and emo music with Max. Very sweet to be around, although she can be a little literal-minded.

• Olivia - A Vampire and a bitch. Liliana’s...ex? Something. A lot like Teysa, but much more fun-loving and impulsive.

• Nahiri - Doesn’t come out much. Stern but caring, very savvy, doesn’t take anyone’s crap. Can hold on to grudges like her life depends on it. 

#alterblogging #I'm probably missing people but oh well #here's the main ones #yes there's a lot of MTG peeps here #they're recent #we love them