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softiecaro · 1 year

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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME — MICK SCHUMACHER

summary: where ellie, mick and seb are an inseparable group, but everything seems to come to an end when the two men will no longer be with her in the paddock.

pairing: mick schumacher x ellie (reader)

words: 4.16K

warning: you know already that english it's not my first language. the ending is a bit crap, but I was thinking of doing a second part, because I keep writing the story, the main theme of the song would go completely, so tell me in the comments what do you think.

notes: ok, a while ago i wanted to write about this song, but i didn't know whether to write about mick or pierre, so i finally decided to write one for each one hehe.

tags: @primadonnasdream @midnightric @dan3avocado

Remember that you can find the list of songs and the previous imagines here :)

Sebastian, Mick and me. It was always the three of us, together everywhere. If anyone in the paddock was looking for Mick, they knew he had to be with one of us. And the same with Seb and me.

But now it could no longer be so. Everything would change. Sebastian had announced his retirement from Formula One a few months ago, but that hadn't taken me by surprise as he had told me and Mick about it a while ago. Sure it saddened me, but I was already mentally prepared when he finally made it official.

But the departure of Mick was something that almost destroyed me. Of course, it was not his fault, because it was Haas who decided not to renew his contract with the team, leaving the german overboard and excluding him from F1.

But still I felt hurt.

Because he didn't even tell me. I finally found out on social media. From then on, I tried to ignore him as much as possible, short conversations and dry answers. Obviously both he and Seb noticed it, so at some point we had to talk about it.

Sitting outside the paddock, like we always did. We would bring things from our own team canteens and sit together for breakfast before the races or our general work started.

That day we were almost silent. Both Germans would try to make conversation with me, earning only a few short words or just a look, a nod, or sheer silence.

Playing with my breakfast along with an awkward silence that felt like an eternity, I hesitated whether or not to speak. How to do it, how to start.

—Why didn't you tell me before?— I said in a barely audible whisper, unable to meet his eyes, just looking at him sideways. If I looked up, I was sure I would immediately cry.

Mick immediately raised his head and looked at me with eyes full of sadness.

—Ellie, I didn't know it, I swear. I found out a very short time ago.

—But you told Seb.— I say giving a quick look to the man next to me, who was also silent listening to us, but ready to speak in case it's needed.

—Yes, but…

—Mick, I found out from Instagram and Twitter posts. Do you have any idea what that means to me?— I felt the mascara fall down my face, finally looking up.

—I wanted to, but I didn't know how to tell you.

Then silence, none of the three spoke.

—Now I'll be alone.

—Of course you won't be alone. Daniel will still be a reserve driver and you will be able to find him in the paddock. Esteban and Lance will still be here, you know they appreciate you a lot too.— Mick says quickly. I can tell that he doesn't know how to comfort me.

—It's not the same, you know what I mean. There were 3 of us everywhere, you are my emotional support every day here. I know I have to be independent of people, but I don't know what I'll do without you.

I close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing and make the tears stop. After a few seconds, I run my hand through my hair. I feel Seb caress my shoulder, then gently grab my chin so that I turn to look at him.

—Sweetheart, listen to me.— I see that he has a wet washcloth in one of his hands, which he brings closer to my face and begins to pass it under my eyes, cleaning the mascara that had been soiled by tears. I sag at his touch. How much I would miss the affection with which Seb always treated me, we had formed a relationship like that of a father and his daughter, and not seeing him every day saddens me a lot. —He will return to formula one. They're going to make him come back, I swear.

And so I held on to that promise for the next year.

The first day of the 2023 season had arrived. Normally it was Mick and Seb who took me to the paddock, sometimes by motorbike, bicycle, car, but I never arrived alone. Now I was forced to rent a car, since I was dependent on myself to get to work.

When I get to the place and manage to park, I see a message from Daniel Ricciardo on my phone.

Dani Rici: Hello girl, how are you? Let me know when you get to the paddock so we can have breakfast together, okay? :)

I sigh. This was probably Seb's act. I decide to pass on the message for now, so I grab my stuff and get out of the car. At the entrance, I see the Formula One photographers point their cameras in my direction as soon as they see me. I greet them, trying to show that I'm completely fine, that I'm not affected by not having Mick or Seb by my side anymore. Apparently my act wasn't working because I see the look on the faces of the people I greet along the way, a “what a sad sight, poor girl” face.

As soon as I get to the Aston Martin office, which is where I work, I put my things in my locker and say hello to the people who are already there. A couple of hugs and kisses on the cheek.

—How was your vacation, Ellie?— One of my coworkers asked me.

—They were good, what about yours?

—Mine were fantastic. I traveled with my family to some beautiful places, so I really enjoyed it.

—I'm glad to hear that. Hey, I'm starving, so I'm going to go have breakfast. See you later.

Following that, I go to the team dining room and help myself to a coffee along with a croissant. I walk outside and find an empty table outside, just like I would with Sebastian and Mick. So I sit there eating my breakfast and drowning in memories that will never be again.

—There you are!— I recognize Daniel's voice. I look up to see him walking in my direction with his characteristic big smile on his face and a cup of tea in one of his hands.— Ellie, good morning.

When he is next to me, he kisses my cheek and gives me a short hug.

—Good morning, Daniel.— I answered him with a smile. watching him sit in front of me and take a sip of his drink.

—I've been calling to see where you are, as well as texting you earlier.

—Sorry, I left my phone in the office, I don't have it with me now.

—Oh, it's fine. And tell me, how were your vacations?

Why do I feel like I've been asked that same question a million times already?

—They were good, thanks for asking. What about yours?

—Just “fine”? Don't you want to tell me what you did?

I was silent for a few seconds. I took a small sigh before speaking.

—Well, the truth is, I did a lot of things. I went to see my family, I spent Christmas with them,, plus I traveled with Mick and Seb's family to Disneyland...

—Oh yeah, I saw photos of that on Instagram, I could see you were having fun.

We had both already finished our breakfast and had been telling each other about our vacation for about 20 minutes. Now I was laughing about something Daniel was telling me.

—Hellooooo.— Still laughing, I see how Lance takes a seat next to me.— What are you two laughing so much about?

—Daniel was just telling me about…— I stopped abruptly as my gaze met a ring Lance was wearing on his ring finger.— Is that an engagement ring?

Lance's mouth dropped open, but no words came out.

—No way! Did you propose to your girlfriend?— Daniel quickly reached for the Canadian's hand to take a closer look at the ring.

—Yes, I asked her a week ago.

—I won.— I said in a whisper to myself.

—Sorry, what did you say?

—Nothing, I was just remembering something.

9 months ago

It’s Lance's birthday, so now we were at his party. He had invited a couple of drivers, family, friends, close people and his girlfriend. Mick and I, as always, hardly parted ways. After dancing, we were now sitting alone in an armchair, my head resting on the German's chest as we looked at the others on the dance floor.

We laugh as we see Lance and his girlfriend, the guy spinning the girl around as they both laugh, hug and kiss.

—They are so cute.— I say..

—Yes, you can tell they are very much in love.

—I hope one day to have something like that with someone.— I say without thinking.— That sounded very desperate, it's not that I need someone to feel complete, but...

—I get it.

Then we were silent for a while.

—He bought her a ring, you know?

—Mhh?— I muttered, confused, raising my head to look at him.

—Lance, he bought his girlfriend a ring, he wants to ask her to be his wife.

—What?— I sit upright and cover my mouth in surprise.

—It's true, I went with him to buy the ring. But don't tell anyone huh...

—Do you think he's going to propose to her now?— I say almost in a whisper, but loud enough for Mick to hear.

—No, I don't think so. The truth is, he's been wanting to do it for a while, but he says he can't find the time. I think he is scared...

—Let's make a bet.

—A bet?

—Yes, I think he will propose to her before the next racing season starts.

I see Mick frown and give me a lopsided smile.

—Oh yeah? And how are you so sure?

—I don't know, it's just a feeling.

—Ok, I think it will be after march. But what will the one who gets it right win?

—How about that trip to Egypt you wanted me to go with you?"

—Yes! I agree. Done deal. Wait... And if you guess correctly, what will you win?

—Mhh, I don't know, let me think….— I say looking at the ceiling, as if the answer were there.

—How about continuing with my prize, we will take a trip to a place you want to go.

—To Paris.

—Clever. If Lance asks her to be his wife before the 2023 season, we'll go to Paris, you and me.

July 10, 2023, one day after the United Kingdom race

Today was my 24th birthday. At 00:00 I had received my first congratulatory message and it had been from Mick. Seb called me this morning and we chatted for a while, cutting off our conversation by telling me that he had something important to do.

One of my favorite things was being able to talk to Sebastian for hours without getting bored, we always had topics of conversation, and he always had advice to give me, it never ran out. So now I am a little sad.

Throughout the day I had received messages and calls from friends, from my family, even from people in the paddock. Lance and Esteban had invited me to have lunch with them in the afternoon, and yesterday before the race they had spoken with me to coordinate something for my birthday. I finally agreed, deciding to have dinner at a restaurant (which was recommended by Dani Ric) and invite a couple of drivers, taking advantage of the fact that they are still in the United Kingdom after race week.

Now it was 6 pm, I was in my hotel room while I was looking at what to wear for dinner. Sitting on my bed was Heidi, Daniel's girlfriend. The truth is that I didn't used to talk much with her, although I thought she was a very nice girl, but it was Daniel who lately has tried to make us friends with her.

30 minutes ago, Daniel had entered my room together with Heidi next to him. A couple of minutes later, the Australian made a comment about how his girlfriend could help me choose what to wear for the night. We both shyly accept, more to please Daniel.

—I hope you don't mind that I'm here, if you want I can go, there's really no problem…—I hear her say behind my back while I look for something in my suitcase.

—No, no. It's okay, please. Anyway, maybe I need some girly help around here.— I say turning around and leaving a couple of things on the bed next to her.

She smirks at me and starts looking at the clothes.

—What is this? I'm sorry, it's beautiful. You have to wear it tonight.— She lifts up an emerald green dress.

—You think? I don't know… Isn't it a lot?

—It's not so elegant or so simple, it's perfect for the occasion.— She tells me, and I finally agree with her.

After a while, she excuses herself to go to her own room and get ready. So she does it, and I start putting on makeup, something simple.

Now we were on our way. Daniel as a pilot and Heidi by his side talking about a subject I don't know. Me in the back of the car, memories eat away at me while I play with the pendant around my neck.

Exactly one year ago...

—I have a gift for you.— Mick whispers.

After a birthday party with most of my family and singing karaoke with my aunts, Mick and I had escaped to the roof. Both huddled together sharing the same blanket, illuminated by the moonlight.

—Mick, you know it wasn't necessary.— I turn to look at him, regretting quickly seeing how close we were to each other.

—But I wanted to.— I see his lips move.— It's something small, but as soon as I saw it, I thought of you.

I see how he moves a little away from me and the blanket that covered us falls. The body heat from him and the blanket leaving me, leaving me with only the thin dress I was wearing that night. He takes a small box out of his pocket and offers it to me.

—Are you going to ask me to marry you? I thought that was a Lance thing.

I hear him let out a small laugh that makes my stomach tingle and my heart race a little.

—Come on, open it up.

I do what he tells me. Inside the small box rests a delicate chain along with a small and even more delicate emerald diamond.

—Mick…— I say in a whisper as I admire the object.

It reminded me of your eyes...—I close the box, leave it on my lap and give my friend a hug.

—Thank you, I love it.— I say with my head buried in his neck. When I separated from him, even with the little light that illuminated us, I could swear that I saw his cheeks flushed with him.

—Give it to me, let's see how it looks on you.— I passed it to him, our fingers brushing against each other for a millisecond. I didn't know what I was feeling.

I turned around and grabbed my hair to make his job easier. I can feel his calming breath against my neck as he struggles to open the necklace.

—Almost there.— He says and I laugh.—Ok, here it goes.

Already with the necklace, I look at it for a few seconds on my neck, and finally I turn to look at him again.

—What do you think?— I ask with a smile. He looks at me silently. He looks at the necklace, up my face, my mouth, and finally my eyes.

—Beautifull.

After that, we return to our previous position. But this time it was different, closer, my head buried in his chest and one of his arms encircling me and circling my shoulder. In that position, I can see him adjust several times. Maybe he's just uncomfortable.

—Is something wrong?— I ask finally.

—No, nothing. Why?— He answers quickly. I frown and pull away from him so I can look at his face.

—Are you sure?

—Yep.

My body asks me to get closer to him again, to feel his warmth covering me again and feel his smell filtering through my nostrils. But I think that maybe he's uncomfortable and he just doesn't want to say it so he doesn't make me feel bad.

—Maybe we should go downstairs with my family.— I pull the blanket completely off my body and prepare to stand up, but Mick's hand pulling me back down prevents me.

—Ellie, I want…— He quickly trails off and starts scratching his head.

—Hey hey, what's up? You know you can tell me anything, please.

—I just don't know how to explain it. I just need to do something, but it scares me.— He speaks so softly it's almost impossible for me to understand what he's saying, but I do.

—Do what?

—Kiss you.— It takes me a few seconds to analyze those two words. Had he really said what I think he said?

—K-kiss me?— I ask, just to check that my ears haven't deceived me.

—I just want to… try it and see how I feel, because a while ago I started to…

—Do it.— I say licking my lips.

—What?

—Do it, kiss me.— Mick blinks, stunned. But he quickly reacts, bringing his body closer to mine and raising his hand to my cheek. He leaves a few light caresses there and then goes down to my chin to bring my face closer to his.

I closed my eyes waiting for the contact, but it never came. Because before anything else can happen, the sudden sound of the window opening interrupts us, causing us to get far enough apart.

—I knew you were here. Ellie, we're going to sing happy birthday to you, so both of you come downstairs.— It had been Seb who interrupted us, who luckily didn't notice our burning cheeks or our agitated breaths from the nerves of being caught.

—Yeah, we were about to go down, so…

—Okay, it's cold out here…— Seb's voice trailed off as he entered the room.

After that neither of us said anything about it. Not even after a year has passed. And something like that never happened again, even making me think that maybe that day Mick drank too much and it was the alcohol that made him do what he did and said.

end of the flashback

“did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be”.

I look at the people around me talking and laughing among themselves. Some drivers, engineers, people from the paddock in general. I'm happy, of course I am. But someone is missing, two of my favorite people in this world are missing

—Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.— Escucho como todos comienzan a cantar en unísono. Miro hacia mi derecha y veo a uno de los meseros traer una torta con una gran vela prendida encima y la pone encima de la mesa.—Happy birthday to dear Ellie, happy birthday to you.

Look at the candle in front of me, applause followed by shouts for me to make a wish. I smile as I start to close my eyes. I think of something and blow out the candle. When I open my eyes again, the people around me applaud.

The darkness returns, but it's not just me with my eyes closed, but this time I feel a pair of big hands blocking my view. Instinctively I bring my hands over the strangers.

Is he really who I think he is?

When I hear his laugh, it confirms that what I thought seconds before was correct.

I quickly get up from my seat and turn to find Mick and Sebastian standing, the latter holding a large bouquet of different colored flowers.

—Guys!— I let go through tears. I throw myself into Mick's arms first, who quickly covers me. I bury my head in his chest and inhale his scent. Seconds later, I feel another person joining the hug, whom I quickly recognize as Seb.

—I missed you so much, I never imagined that you would come here.—I kiss both men on the cheek. —You didn't have to, but I really appreciate it, I needed you so much.

—Anything for you little one.— Seb says affectionately as he messes up my hair.

…

The meeting had been calm, people began to leave little by little, saying goodbye and each one going to their hotels.

It was already late, only Seb, Lewis, Daniel, Heidi, Esteban, Lance, Mick and me were there. The atmosphere was still very lively, everyone laughing at a joke that Esteban had made. I shifted my gaze to Mick, I see how his eyes narrow when he smiles and how his hair moves gracefully when he leans forward laughing. He was wearing simple jeans along with a white shirt that made him look so gorgeous..

—Hey.— Sebastian's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look at him and feel the blood rise to my cheeks from the thought that he caught me looking at the blond boy.—Are you tired?— He asks me.

—Yeah, i mean, just a little.

—I don't think this will end anytime soon, the boys are having so much fun. But you can go to the hotel, Mick can go with you.

—Me what?— Mick exclaims in front of us, curious to hear his name in our little conversation.

—Could you take Ellie to the hotel? Taking advantage of the fact that you will stay with her.

—Oh yeah. Of course, of course.

—There's no need! You're having fun with the boys… I can take an uber.— I say quickly, getting a laugh from him and he shakes his head. I see how he gets up from his seat and begins to say goodbye to the others, an action that I immediately copied.

As we're outside walking towards his rental car, I brake suddenly when I feel cold and remember that I had brought a jacket with me that night.

—Wait, I forgot my...

—Your jacket, here it is.— Mick interrupted me just as I was about to turn to return to look for it, he is holding up my garment for me to see.

—Oh thanks.

—It doesn't matter.

When we get to the car, Mick opens the passenger door for me to get in, whispering "thank you" to him before getting in.

The road was silent. Something felt weird, but I didn't know what it was.

—I'm sorry…— I suddenly hear his voice and I turn to look at him.

—Why?

—I don't know, for abandoning you. I know that it affected you a lot that Seb and I have left Formula 1, and I am really sorry.

—What are you talking about? You didn't abandon me, it wasn't your fault, it was Haas who didn't want to rehire you.

—If I had done a better job, Haas would have renewed my contract and I could have been there for you this season...

—Mick, it's not…— I start to speak, putting my hand over his, but he cuts me off.

—No Ellie, I'm sorry. it's my fault. And please don't try to deny it, because you won't be able to change my mind.

The rest of the way was just as silent as the rest, but now it was uncomfortable, nostalgic.

When we got to the hotel, we both took a quick shower before going to bed. This was not the first time, we had slept together many times before, so it was not something strange or new in our relationship as friends.

Both of us with our backs to each other, the lights already off, but I can tell Mick is still awake by the way he breathes and shifts on the mattress.

—You know what?— I say suddenly, turning in his direction.

—What happen? You can not sleep?

—Turn around, I want to talk to you.

He complies with my request, now we are both face to face, but far enough away that I don't get nervous.

—I think you owe me a prize.

—A prize? What do you mean?— He says, frowning and thinking for a few seconds. When he finally realized what I meant, his eyes widened and his mouth shaped like an "o" .— Lance proposed to her before the season began.

—Yep.

—You won the bet.

—Yep.

—So I owe you a trip to Paris.

—Exactly.

#mick schumacher imagines #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher #mick schumacher one shot #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fluff #formula 1 #f1 #taylor swift ft f1 #taylor swift series #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel imagine

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reddragon-cowboy · 8 months

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PSA

CW: Anti-blackness, Racism.

I usually don't make posts of this nature, but something had to be addressed since it involves my racial identity as a black women. This involves my experience in the server with one individual.

This is a post to share my experience concerning an individual who displayed direct and indirect racial prejudice towards me in the @bebopcrew server. First and foremost, I must say that the Bebop crew is an amazing server and, although I am particularly shy as it can take me awhile to feel comfortable enough to socialize in groups, the members there made me feel welcomed and supported me, as well as many writers/artists alike.

But one member in particular, @/Drasino, stood out to me that treated me differently than the rest. I thought I could put the situation behind me and let it rest, but due to seeing them on my dash often continuously calls back to mind what occurred.

This happened when I had begun to try to come out of my shell, attempting to socialize and engage in conversations in certain channels. I left a compliment on some insight they shared in a channel, but I never got a response that showed he acknowledged me. I also tried to engage in them again, but he didn't acknowledge me and proceeded to ignore me. Interestingly, he would engage with other people in the server and their stuff, but nope, not me.

Ironically, a day or so later right after, Drasino posted an image where he outwardly mocked the Afrikaan language. That was the first red flag for me. I asked one of the admins about what they posted, what his intention and motives could be about the crude image. The admin got right on it and confronted Drasino about it, to which he acted oblivious and played innocent. But after that incident, the admin updated the rules to emphasize how racist and other toxic content, comments, or memes are not allowed.

Afterward, there wasn't no more images of that sort again. However, he proceeded to deliberately ignore me and my stuff while engaging and initiating conversations with other people. I also tried to involve a few people in a channel where he and other people were talking, which he easily could've engaged with me as well, but instead, he proceeded to switch over to another channel to try initiate a totally other conversation, again, deliberately and willingly trying to exclude me from his presence. There was also a comment a admin told me where Drasino made a joke about monkeys as well.

All of these things began to pile up. Even though he acted oblivious about the picture he posted, you have to remember, Drasino, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. THE WAY YOU TREAT OTHERS IS ENOUGH TO KNOW THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE. I am not stupid; I knew exactly what you were doing, and your actions towards me further proved my case. I do my utmost best to extend kindness towards others, try to make others feel welcomed, and I don't like it when others feel left out. I extended kindness towards and courtesy towards him in the same manner as I try for anyone else. But he didn't for me; the fact I'm the only black person ( plus with the only black oc) in the server who he outwardly and deliberately chose to not give me the same courtesy and respect as he gave other people stuck out like a sore thumb. Plus, that image was all I needed to know because he knew exactly what he was doing and proceeded to downright ignore me.

This type of behavior something I wouldn't expect to experience in this type of community, but here we are. Shinichro Watanabe created a show with a diverse cast of characters; Cowboy Bebop is abundant with diversity of different languages, cultures, ethnicities, and nationalities-it is an element I love about the show. Anyone who is a fan should understand and appreciate the message and vision that Watanabe delivered for us. If Watanabe appreciates and respect others, no matter their race, culture, or language, a fan of his work should share that same openness. With that being said, showing racial prejudice, anti-blackness, xenophobia, or any other type of prejudice towards another person is completely unacceptable here.

I decided to make this post to make others aware of my experience with this individual, and for others who look like me to be wary of their company, so they don't also have to go through the same thing I experienced.

#antiblackness tw #racism tw #( ooc ) the mun.#drama tw #discourse tw #cowboy bebop

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heejinkwan · 1 month

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˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⠀⠀⠀ YOU’RE WATCHING : WHAT HAPPENED TO ASTELLA? / A BRIEF HISTORY OF BUBBLE ENTERTAINMENT !

ib. : @anqelblccm & midnight theories on yt !

final word count : 0.495k

warning(s) : talks of bullying and harassment, but that’s really it tbh

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ INTRO !

❝ if you don’t know who promise is, you might be living under a rock. you could say they’re the queens of nugudom, having rocketed themselves into fame while only being a four year old group. but as of a few months ago, both the group and their company are under fire for what seems that their main vocalist ASTELLA had suddenly been kicked out of the group for unknown reasons, which have now come into light of what actually happened. ❞

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ ⠀⠀⠀ WHO IS PROMISE AND ASTELLA ?!

❝ for those kpop fans that haven’t heard about the PROMISE or ASTELLA, the group debuted back in 2017, as a five-membered girl bgroup with the members astella, jihyun, kyungmi, jade, and lily. they debuted under an unknown company called BUBBLE ENTERTAINMENT, who we will be getting to later. they debuted with a classic among kpop stans who like small groups, tell me, but didn’t get traction until the release of peek-a-boo, which got them a lot of fame with international fans, basically they were on top of the world, looking at their success from a point of view that a group from a small company were getting their flowers and the fame they deserved, so it came to everyone’s surprise, when during the last leg of chill kill promotions, their company put out a statement saying that heejin ( astella ) would be on hiatus due to ‘ mental health ‘ which we find out later on that the reason was not only because of mental health. ❞

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ ⠀⠀⠀ THE LAWSUIT !

❝ last year, during october, astella finally broke her silence with a post on instagram, it was a picture of all five of the girls, stating “hello to my darling 신자 ( faithfuls , promise’s fandom name ) i know that my departure from the group was abrupt, but it was the best thing that i could do for me. i love the girls and you all dearly, and i will never forget them or you all. I want nothing more than to see promise continue to succeed and i am rooting for my girls :). i have endured bullying and harassment, not from my members, but from the staff, and when i tried bringing it up to the higher ups my pleas and calls for help were ignored. i talked about it to my family, and they told me the best thing that i could do was to leave the group and the company as a whole. i hope you continue to support me if i do decide to redebut. please do not send any hurtful messages to my members, they are very kind and have treated me amazing since our debut. but yeah, heejin <3.” after she posted that, articles were made left and right asking the company to come forward and speak about the speculated bullying that astella claimed to be happening. ❞

❝ next, in December, astella officially filed a lawsuit against bubble entertainment and her ex- manager, who’s name is not mentioned in the lawsuit. astella claimed that her ex-manager was the root of all the bullying, she said “our manager would purposefully exclude and ignore me from anything that had to do with the group, she would say rude and hurtful things to me and when confronted, she would gaslight me, making me feel like i was in the wrong, but not to the other members. I don’t know what i did to be treated this way, but I know that i only treated her with kindness and respect, seeing that she’s my senior and i was always taught to respect my seniors”. she also said that when her group leader, kyungmi, also brought up the mistreatment astella was facing to the higher ups, they did nothing, and instead continued to allow her to act this way with astella, and this is the kicker, apparently the manager did end up getting fired, but that was only after astella l eft. ❞

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ ⠀⠀⠀ ABOUT BUBBLE ENTERTAINMENT !

❝ bubble entertainment kickstarted their company in 2014, fairly new to the company and only ever had trainees. the only group they’ve debuted is Promise, who later changed their name to Paradise in 2022, after member Astella left the group, and 2021 was the last year we saw Astella promote with promise. it was said that before debuting Promise, there was a whole different lineup, that only had Astella and Kyungmi in it, seeing as their positions in the group were main and lead singers. ❞

❝ also, side note, it has been rumored that all the members of Paradise will be terminating their contracts with Bubble, saying that they have come to a negotiation with the girls, letting them keep their group name, but will no longer be in the company. ❞

❝ now that the video is over, i wish nothing but prosperity and happiness for both Astella and Paradise, now that Astella is now in Starship, and Paradise are rumored to be leaving Bubble Entertainment, they can finally be somewhere where they are respected. ❞

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cyeayt · 9 months

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being autistic in the mormon church

being autistic in the mormon church was, for me at least, a weird experience. because i wasn't excluded or mocked very often, just smothered in that strange warm beige obligation. because they could tell, they knew i was different just like i did. so they held my hand, told the other children to be nice to me, to make sure i felt included. and my peers did, cause they didn't have a choice, raised to be polite and kind no matter what just like i was. so i was included and invited places, always as an afterthought or a checked box but invited nonetheless, injected into conversations and games by adults that my peers wouldn't dare contradict. 'well meaning' adults who ask me if im okay or if i want to join the group, talking down in the sweetest tones. every christmas and on every birthday they still track me down to give me a card about how much they miss my 'unique perspective', even though i always tried my hardest to fit in and say the normal things.

"Look at that one. it's different and broken, but you must be kind to it. help it stay in the light of god, because god is the only way to save it. we're good, and righteous, and its so lucky to be in the church because we're the only ones who'll ever tolerate it, because that's what god wants."

and i miss it sometimes. standing on the edge of people who i desperately want to be friends with, flitting around in the back of stores and staring at concert posters indecisively until the date has passed. never finding the right spot in a conversation to talk, never working up the courage to ask if i can come too, i miss the people who had to be nice. who had me on a little list in their mind of what they need to get to heaven.

but im never going back. because even i could feel that it was fake. i felt watched and judged and pitied at all times, by peers who would ask me if i was coming then talk amongst themselves about jokes i didnt get and shared friends i didnt know. and i may be lonely now, but id rather do the work and be awkward and sick with nerves and find people and spaces that i actually want to be in who actually want me to be there, even if it seems impossible now. id rather that than go back to that warm suffocating place, familiar like the worst kind of family.

also telling that all the adults im talking about are either women/afab people or members of the bishopric, people whose 'job' it is to be welcoming and nurturing, though these experiences are mostly from young womens so that would also be it, but even women who arent involved in the yw leadership are raised and taught and obligated to do this and i dont blame any of them but its always made me wildly uncomfortable. never as much as random men who would sit down next to me and just start talking like we knew each other tho so eh

#exmormonism #exmo #autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #no hate pls its all highly personal to me if you find it inaccurate make your own post #this isnt good or articulate but do you get what im saying?#in other words every mormon adult talks to me like im two and wants to make sure i know where my parents are #i know this isnt just me cause ive seen the same shit with some other queer and autistic people in my ward #but sry if this doesnt fit your experience ive mostly been part of nauseatingly liberal wards in blue cities #i used to come home from activity days every week screaming and sobbing cause i started to be able to feel how different and disconnected #i was from the other kids #everyone misses me everyone wants to know what im reading everyone wants me to know that the church loves me and so wont i stay #wont i let them love me like a sick bird in a cage #and now people are nice in way that tells me im free to come back #questioning isnt a sin as long as you find the answers in god #youll be forgiven all of this if you just come back #ugh i dont even know #salt lake city #but im singing it like the 979 theme #utah #trans #nonbinary #this isnt even about that its just another internal feeling that makes me feel different #religion #religious trauma

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thefisherqueen · 2 months

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Thinking about growing up autistic without a diagnosis and how there were a lot of my teachers who definitely picked up that something was up with me and tried to help me, but how none of them ever said or did anything that actually helped. And I'm sort of amazed by how that was possible? These were people who had a teaching degree, who were kind and well intended, who had a lot of experience, and yet they all failed me.

One teacher arranged with my parents for me to follow a social anxiety course with a therapist. But of course fear was never the problem. I think that did damage in more ways than I can quickly describe, but mainly it taught me that the coping mechanisms I had were bad (they weren't! Walking off when you're overwhelmed is good! Being quiet when you don't know what to say or don't feel like talking is fine!) and it just made me better at hiding my struggles and pretending interest where I had none. I remember even hanging out with a group of 'popular girls' for a while and it was all such an act and made me feel alientated and terrible

Several teachers told me to stand up for myself, but didn't follow it up with informing me on what reasonable boundaries are or with providing me social scripts I could use against bullies. Others asked me "are those bullies bothering you?" and of course I shrugged and told them I didn't mind; we all want to be thought of as strong and unbothered. Calling out bullies' behaviour and telling me that there was nothing wrong with me would have been much more helpful. Confidence naturally follows from that

I vividly remember two seperate teachers asking me "Why are you so reserved?" and, what the hell, of course I could not answer that. I was not trying to be! They were puzzled by me and instead of asking me about myself or learning about my ways of communication, they made it my problem

Another thing: I was in the debating club of my school for years (hey! surprise! I am actually good at talking in public if I can do research beforehand and if the conversation actually stays on topic and follows sensible rules). When I sometimes struggled, teachters assumed it was because of insecurity or nervousness. The actual issue was that my mind runs a bit to slow for speech sometimes. I just don't have time enough to arrange my thoughts into proper sentences at that time, but the only advice they had for me is about how to deal with nerves

During a university course on presentation skills the teacher picked up that I was struggling and tried to help me with tips, but that only made me more insecure. I needed to learn to be more comfortable and secure with how I naturally communicated, the last thing I needed was someone to point out my 'flaws' and teach me more tricks

Another teacher in university once again assumed - not asked, just assumed - that I had social anxiety and promptly gave me advice based on that. I suppose in a way I'm thankful to her, because it was the point where I realised that this whole pretending act wasn't working and that was when I started to look into autism (my best friend had been diagnosed not long before that). But it still was shitty to just assume

I think the general trend of all these instances is: all of these people saw this kind quiet girl who did well in class, exceptionally well in language areas, always had several friends but often just did her own thing, whose way of acting and speaking and non-verbal communication and interests had uncommon aspects, who was bullied and excluded or made fun of sometimes, and all were puzzled but had their opinion and advice ready. None of them actually sat me down and asked me open questions, tried to figure out what was actually going on in my brain, tried to learn of my experiences and what I knew about myself. None of them recognised my autistic traits for what they were (and they are so clear to me now in hindsight).

Children really deserve so much better. I deserved better

#autism #actuallyautistic #personal experience growing up autistic #unhelpful advice #neurodivergence #autistic in school #it feels good to write these thoughts down

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atinystraykid · 5 months

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More “my last therapist vs. my new therapist” musings nobody asked for:

The therapy sessions with my last therapist were mainly focused on talking about traumatic experiences in my childhood. It was very healing and a big relief to say some things out loud that I never told anyone before! I’m thankful I had a safe space to talk about experiences of abuse with that therapist. But over time, it just became a stagnant approach. I processed my childhood pain and progressed on my healing path, but the therapy didn’t progress at all. It became more frustrating than helpful because I wanted to talk about the symptoms and struggles I face NOW and get some practical advice on how to deal with them, but no matter which topics I tried to bring up, my therapist just blamed *everything* (including my autism) on abuse and his only solution was to discuss the same traumatic memories over and over again.

He was very much a “I believe in you” type of therapist. Which is a great thing when talking about abuse! “I believe you that you have been abused and I believe that you can heal from it” are wonderful messages. But again, that doesn’t apply to everything. “I believe you can heal from autism” isn’t as wonderful. He figured that since I am capable of verbal communication, I’m only “mildly autistic” and “mild autism would be something that goes away once you heal from your traumas”. At first, I thought of this as good news! But he got increasingly frustrated with me for “holding myself back” and “not wanting to get better” because my autistic behavior didn’t go away, and I took it on myself to educate myself more on autism outside of therapy and realized none of his viewpoints matched up with what I was reading.

My new therapist clearly has much more knowledge on autism and the main focus in our sessions is to learn skills and techniques I can use in my daily life. It has been a lot more helpful, even after just the first few sessions, than years of therapy were before in that regard. But it also has been hard for the same reason: in our first solo sessions, he made a point of stressing that autism isn’t something that will ever go away or can be fixed, so there are no wrong expectations, or unhealthy comparisons with the others in the group sessions. Their anxiety symptoms may completely disappear after a few months of therapy, my autistic behavior won’t. And it’s good he’s aware of that, it’s good he’s open about that to manage my expectations.. and it’s still hard to hear. I won’t improve like others do.

Which brings me to the last point: my last therapy was only solo sessions, this one is mostly group sessions. And I underestimated how *hard* group therapy is. Group situations in general are stressful to me, interacting with multiple people at once is exhausting and being emotionally vulnerable in front of them is even more so. It’s difficult for me to interact with strangers and even after multiple sessions they are strangers to me, which makes me feel excluded because they are all already talking about how much they trust each other and like each other and are becoming friends with each other, and to me they could as well speak gibberish when they say that. I genuinely don’t understand how they could feel that way when to me we are all strangers. I feel extremely socially overwhelmed and burnt out after the sessions, and at a session each Friday that leaves me feel burned out at least the whole weekend, only to then sorta feel burnt out in anticipation on Thursday, and that makes me feel like maybe group therapy isn’t a sustainable option for me. Which would suck since this therapist is so much more helpful than the last one and I feel like I finally found a therapist who actually “matches” my diagnosis.. and now I don’t deal well with the therapy format

#oliver talks #actually autistic

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littlemisssunshineshair · 23 days

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we can’t be friends

something very bad happened today. the person i thought was my best friend showed me who she really is and i finally saw it with my own eyes and i'm very hurt. this girl used to love bomb the shit out of me, telling me how perfect i am and how i am just so much like her and how i could never do any wrong and then she goes on to betray me several times. the first betrayal happened when she kept hanging out with the guy that was harassing me and talking shit about me and she made up a bunch of excuses for it, "i just want connections," "i don't want to burn any bridges," but then actively kept interacting with him and being fake as fuck with him and other people in his friend group who she claimed to dislike.

the second betrayal happened when she lied to me about the text i sent to this guy i like and she knew that the messages got out and kept it from me. again, i forgave her when i shouldn't have.

the third betrayal happened when i bought her birthday gift and gave it to her. only for her to leave a few minutes later to go to his party, taking my roommate with her and leaving me completely alone. she said she cared but she obviously didn't care enough about me to not go. i stayed the whole weekend to spend time with her because i thought she was my best friend, but then she just threw me away like i was nothing. she told me she wanted alchohol and she wanted to celebrate the films she worked on, but she hated all of them so that's not an excuse. i hate that i let her get away with this. i hate that i tried to forgive her for this. i should've cut her off right after that, because what she did, really really hurt me. it felt like a betrayal.

on wednesday i reminded them that we’re filming on friday, and they said that they were going to a concert and L immediately said after that, “do you wanna come?” and i said yeah. fast forward to friday, they go to the concert without me and i was waiting for them to come back so i could talk to them about it but i was really upset. i was upset about my grandpa getting sick again and i just wanted to be heard so bad, so i just texted them and then they acted like they never invited me and K especially made sure that i felt excluded by saying that i wasn’t invited although L did. then they said it was a date even though they told me that they weren’t doing that. L specifically told me they were waiting so sorry if i can’t read their mind. they just blow me off and not tell me anything and then get mad when i feel hurt and left out instead of trying to understand. then i got really mad because they always have selective memory and make excuses and assumptions about me and what i want and i just got so mad i said that they were being selfish for dating while B was hurting and i immediately apologized because what i said wasn’t okay and i felt awful, especially for L because i know how much she cares about him. i got so mad at myself that i said that, i relapsed on self harm. so much stuff has just been accumulating and i just was so mad at myself for slipping up and K went off on me. it made me really scared of her.

i’ve always been very scared of K because she has a lot of anger issues and used to beat people up all the time and i don’t personally believe that she would hurt me physically, but when people get angry at me i shut down. especially, when they freak the fuck out on me, which she did. she yelled at me over text, even after i apologized and just wouldn’t let it go. i asked to talk in person and she just kept going off on me and i broke down in front of my other roommate because the way K painted me as a bad person really hurt me. this girl used to love bomb the shit out of me when i first met her because we had issues with the same person and i thought we were helping heal each other but i think she just liked complaining and talking a lot of shit about people and she made a lot of things worse for me in that situation and she continued to hang out with the guy that threatened me and ditched me to go to his party. she put me up on this high pedestal and then when she found out i was human and not an angel or whatever, she immediately lost interest in me and she abandoned me when i needed her the most and then made a bunch of excuses for her behavior.

i also have a lot of trauma when people get angry at me and i know K is kinda a violent person so I was scared she was gonna hit me or something. i used to have an ex boyfriend who used to threaten to hit me all the time. he would get very angry at me for the smallest thing and threaten to hit me. it scared me. my dad also used to freak out on me and my sisters and hit us, so i get a severe trauma response when people start yelling at me. i broke down in tears because she wasn’t hearing me and painted me as a horrible person when i was just upset and wanted to be heard because they never tell me anything and when im upset about it they made it out to be my fault? what the fuck? it hurts me so deeply. she was never there for me and i just can’t do it anymore with her. i never want to speak to her again after everything she’s done. she’s betrayed me several times and i slipped up twice, beat myself up over it for so long, repeatedly apologized for it and she also said it wasn’t a big deal. i feel like im a burden to her and i don’t want to feel that way anymore. i’d rather be alone. i’m tired of getting hurt by her.

so many of my (outsider) friends warned me about her when i confided to them. my mom never liked her because since the beginning of last semester, she’s just kept hurting me. she didn’t like that K was actively saying that she loved me and stuff when she barely knew me and she thought it was weird how much she excessively gassed me up and put me up on this pedestal. my mom told me that she just kept it to herself the whole time because it’s my life and she wanted me to see it for myself. but she told me tonight that she knew at the beginning of last semester that something was off about K and yeah, she was right. she’s incredibly selfish, self-centered, and just has hurt me way too many times. i don’t even wanna talk to her about it. i don’t wanna speak to her ever again.

#journal

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robbies-oc-peoples · 4 months

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alright i actually want to start using this blog SO HI

some thoughts i've had recently

so after impossible years, nobody knew what my trio went though - aside from Sylvi, who Martha spoke to exhaustively afterwards, they had some very strange and difficult conversations

but all of their other families and friends had no idea what was going on with the three of them, why they all seemed to have had a personality change overnight, why martha actually physically seemed to LOOK different

this always bothered kai a lot. it got to him not knowing what happened, he always felt excluded because of this. Sylvi tried to talk to him once, to provide him a little more context and explain why him knowing would be no good to anyone, including himself but it didn't really help

kai is bessie mates with matthew and when matthew was having a hard time of things, kai always felt like there were elements to his struggles that he could never really understand - because he knows next to nothing about impossible years. kai could never really let it go, and when he starts dating Addison, these feelings only became more profound

so now we get to the stuff i'm thinking about :-) which is stuff that i dont THINK is canon (this could change) but it COULD be canon

kai and addison are engaged when the events of 2015 come up again. Kai thinks surely they've got to give me something now, we're literally engaged to be married. but addison still refuses. this eventually escalates to an argument (kai and addison dont actually have alot of arguments usually so this is significant)

kai spends most of the day deliberating on 2015. he realises that there's only one person in thier circle that he's never tried asking what they know - Charlie

charlie is matthews brother and lived with him back in 2015, so kai figures it's not impossible that charlie could give him a bit of extra insight. so kai messages him

immediately charlie is on it. it's very clear to kai that charlie has spent a very, very long time thinking about this over the years, and he has a lot to say. then charlie announces he's coming round to talk about it. Kai doesn't seem to have much choice in this

charlie is a bit of a conspiracy theory nut so when his brother started behaving so strangely, he saw it as his own little personal mystery. charlie comes round to Kai's and drops a folder on the coffee table.

you know how theres the cliché of the pictures and snippets on walls hung up on the wall with string connecting them? yeah, it's like that but on paper instead

kai is concerned but intrigued, he needs to know what charlie knows, and charlie is also intrigued, finding that he too needs to know what kai knows

so they share what they know. it's weird and it only keeps getting weirder, but kai is relieved to actually be learning something, AND to be talking to someone else who is similarly in the dark about this

this goes on for a week or so, secretly talking with each other, working together to unwrap the mystery. eventually they make new discoveries. they find a private website, dead for years, that johanna used as part of her cult. johanna is a woman who was told by ananke that the end times were coming. he told her about the cycles and, essentially, the background of Impossible years. so she started a 'group' of people who worked together to try and find some kind of salvation, to earn good graces with the gods, etc.

things get interesting when kai and charlie spot lena dee in a photograph on the website. lena is sylvi's mum, who went missing for years.

all of this is an outstanding breakthrough. kai and charlie decide to talk to the others.

this doesn't go very well.

i'm going to finish this another time!

#this is why i dont talk about my ocs #it's because i'm so fucking wordy #you get a 1 sentence contextless snippet or a fucking essay sorry no inbetweens mate

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rhaenyras · 7 months

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(cw ed/weight talk) I feel a little lost regarding my body image. I have been told I am fat my entire life, starting from middle school I was always the fat kid and even at home my parents always tried to encourage me to diet and signed me up for sports. Starting from around age 12 my dad would openly tell me I’m too fat. When I started starving myself I would pass out many times, even had a head injury from hitting my head once when I fell. Even now, I’m still considered very fat by my country’s standards (Eastern Europe), if I see my distant relatives they make comments about my weight. However. I’m starting to realise that things have changed in the “real world” with body positive movement, so I don’t know how to put this. I’m 153 cm/67 kg, which has become very normal today and I try to be aware of my privilege in the sense of body positivity community etc. But it’s like, when I try to talk about my own experiences of being fatshamed as a midsize/plus size woman I feel like I’m not being heard, especially by the people from Western communities. My tiktok comments will be flooded with comments like “how is this midsize??” “you’re not even fat” etc. And like, fat is not a bad word, I don’t mind using it to describe myself. I guess I just feel torn like no one gets it, because online the standards are too different for my own experience but in real life in Eastern Europe I still have random me yelling “fatty” when I walk down the street or saying things like “try a salad instead” from boys behind me at Mcdonalds. Idk if this makes sense, I’m not trying to compare my experience to that of unifat people or anything, I guess I just feel a little lost because irl I’m always told I’m fat but I also don’t feel like I can find comfort with these online communities

it's literally so pointless and stupid when support communities for minorities and marginalized groups gatekeep, discriminate and exclude fellow members of those very groups. like... why would you behave in the very same way you rightfully criticize the entirety of society for?? what's the point?? it's so hypocritical. im genuinely sorry you've been treated this way by fatphobic people irl and by dumb gatekeepers online. the topic of fatphobia has been tackled multiple times on this blog and, as we've been saying, fatphobia is so complex and it interacts with our lives on so many levels that when you analyze it you can't just narrow it down to trivializing shallow criteria such as "you're only a victim of fatphobia if your bmi is over this number or if you weigh precisely x kilograms". any activist who's worth their name will tell you as much. and of course, yeah, the fatphobia will be harsher and more invasive the fatter you are, because that means you're straying even further from the ethnocentric ideal of skinny white female beauty. not to mention that for very fat people there's also the issue of accessibility, since they cannot be accommodated in most places and spaces, so the systemic fatphobia becomes literally crippling in that sense as it restricts your freedom of movement. but there's a host of other shades, shapes and nuances that the social phenomenon of fatphobia can come in, of course, and they're all equally deserving of being taken seriously and analyzed in depth. without a proper and precise vision of the bigger picture behind fatphobia we are powerless to fight it and dismantle it. and you know what else? joining an online community that preaches body positivity should not be reserved exclusively to people labeled as "fat" by whichever criteria are considered appropriate at the moment. body positivity is also for disabled people and generally anyone who has a non-conforming heavily policed stigmatized body or a troubled relationship with their body image. we should be extending our support and empathy to as many people as possible out there, not restrict the realm of who we consider a victim to the very few people who look exactly like us.

#ask #anon #anonymous

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le-trash-prince · 1 year

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One of the coworkers I’m closest with is very autistic leaning and we relate a lot to each other despite a 10 yr age difference. Like he tells me that he greatly appreciates that when I’m done with our conversation I just straight up walk away without following the social norms of ending a conversation. He has sound sensitivities too and gets really stressed out when his schedule is thrown off.

It also feels very validating that he also prefers being back at the office as opposed to when we were WFH. A lot of times it feels like as introverts that we’re supposed to prefer working from home or being hybrid. He’s a POC too, which also makes me feel better because there’s this narrative that as POC we’re better off working from home. And I’ll be honest, seeing business media outlets talk about how minorities should all be working from home for their own benefit feels like a trap. It feels like we would all just be pushed out of sight. Given the statistics that WFH workers work longer hours while receiving fewer raises and promotions, I am very suspicious of any business media outlet that says minorities should push for their right to WFH.

Like yes, there are a lot of challenges I face at the office, there’s micro aggressions, there’s sensory challenges, there’s a commute, but it’s still miles better than WFH. And now that I’m back in the office, I love my home more than I did when it was the location of all my stress.

I have struggles with interpreting tone and facial expressions when I’m speaking, but when I’m listening to someone else speak, I rely heavily on visual input to understand how they feel.

So I spent an entire year having no idea how any of my coworkers felt about me because they were (understandably) not comfortable with being on the camera all the time, and I didn’t have the ability to ask them to turn their camera on or their filter off.

It’s really difficult to work as a team member with someone when you don’t know if you’ve said something that either they didn’t understand, or it came across as rude. And without that information, there’s no way for me to know when I need to apologize for something or clear up a misunderstanding. When we came back to the office, there were people who I’d either been close with or at least gotten along with, who now were extremely cold and short with me and went out of their way to exclude me from things, and I still don’t understand why.

Being on the webcam was also really difficult because I felt like I was always being looked at, and therefore my expression had to constantly be “on,” which is not natural for me. It’s also hard for me to gauge when it’s appropriate to speak in a group setting, and working with internet lag makes it even more difficult. Being spoken over or speaking over someone else causes me a lot of stress.

The lack of structure was also really difficult for me, and the brief period that our company tried hybrid work was even worse. Shifting locations throughout the week and seeing a different group of people every day, depending on who was in the office, was completely mentally exhausting. I could not get my brain to a functioning level. It took six months of us being in the office full time for me to recover from the burnout of being unmoored from the routine and stability that I need.

Anyways, it’s just nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels like I’m both happier and more productive at the office despite being part of multiple demographics that say I should feel otherwise. I think it is a subjective situation and I get really frustrated at the sentiment that anyone who wants an in-person office environment is siding with greedy corporate overlords who just want to keep an eye on people, which is what I have been told to my face on multiple occasions.

#rant

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nevereverlandboys · 3 years

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Drunken in charge

A/N: So I already posted this on wattpad a while ago. I was busy with learning for my exam, but now I finally managed to edit everything so I can post it on tumblr for those who don't read in wattpad

If you want to get tagged for my oneshots DM me ❤

Pairing: Ouat Felix x Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, consuming of alcohol, swearing, really unrealistic sex scene lol, unprotected sex

Summary: Felix is being left in charge for the camp while Pan is absent, so games are off along with every other game. What is there else to do than drink? The second in command uses this opportunity to finally get closer to the reader after being so distant for a long time.

word count: 9968

The Island was harsh and cruel to everyone in an unfair but equal way. Even though the lost boys lived free on Neverland, they still were ruled by the mischievous leader named Peter Pan. Each of them had their own suffering they would not mention to anyone, rather feel the pain alone and the loneliness followed them with every step. But if someone caught Y/N's eye the most, it was the quiet second in command, Felix. He always stayed close to his leader and would always follow his command. His cold facade never told her a single thought, making him special in his own way. He would leave the girl alone and only joined her on missions, but even then, the second in command would remain quiet. Pan on the other hand, tormented Y/N with thousands of useless tasks, while the lost boys worked on their own duties that seemed to make way more fun. No matter how hard she tried, Y/N would never fit in the group of lost boys, their name alone excluded her. None of them treated her fair, always left her out and acted like she was their servant. At first, the boys all seemed curious, and also a little intrigued about her appearance. They wondered why the shadow brought a girl to Neverland and if she would stay forever or just for a while. Their vicious behavior scared her off the first days, keeping her distance in a small tent. There was nothing special about Y/N, and she wondered why Pan brought her here from the beginning. Soon they boys learned that as well, treating her harshly like everybody else. They mocked her for being too weak, being too emotional,- they mocked her for not being a boy. After a while Y/N stopped asking questions and simply agreed to her new life. There were many good things to mention, nothing here was all bad. No one cared about her exploring the island during the day, at least if she did not go too far. If she wanted to cook for herself, there was no one in the way, and if she wanted to read in her tent, they would not enter- also because she was definitely sure Pan forbat it. The lost boy's feared and loved their leader at the same time, the way he let them live the free life they always wanted and not even seeing how dangerous it could be had convinced them. Y/N had distanced herself from them and their cruelty, rarely appeared to any big occasion and rather traveled along the river that ran it's way through the meadow and pastures. It was a surprise when one boy asked her one day to join a game, leaving her startled and unable to answer since no one ever really attempted to talk to the girl. It woke a piece of hope inside her, some of the younger boys already liked Y/N, yet, there was always something suspicious around the older ones.

"C'mon!" The thin boy yelled excitedly and waved his hands through the air, gesturing to follow him.

"This will be fun!"

Y/N avoided the demanding boy and tilted her head while her eyes wandered through the group before they stopped at the second in command, his eyes already burning on her skin when she detected him on his log, not far. His gaze made her nervous, uncomfortable and she questioned the decision to join the game. Something inside her shook the thought off, that Felix would approach her one day for some other reason than Pan made him, or that he would ask her to join a game.

"No…" Y/N answered nervously and looked back to the lost boy, trying to ignore Felix in the back. She did not trust that boy the slightest.

"I have to clean the kitchen." She lied and dropped her gaze to the ground. The boy left as quickly as he came, not even trying to convince her further as if the interest was faked like everything else on this Island. After a while she sat alone in silence, watching the smaller boys play with sticks and some older ones preparing some meat and stickbread for the bonfire. The feeling of being watched did not let go. Y/N tried her best not to look suspicious and quickly let her eyes wander further when she found the guilty boy, Felix.

Why is he still staring at me?

She never found out. The boy stayed exactly where he was and so did Y/N. He would constantly steal a glimpse and for a moment goosebumps spread all over her body, as butterflies rumbled in her stomach. A few days went on and she had catched the second in command staring at her over and over again. Whenever she looked at him, he quickly shifted his eyes somewhere in hope not to be catched. Sitting at the dining table she would catch him, when she did the laundry or cooked in the humble kitchen. The lost boy woke some curiosity inside the girl, the urgent need to know why he would always steal a glimpse, whenever she walked by. He never slipped a nasty comment, definitely strange compared to the other lost boys and their vivid temper. He never approached her or tried to keep up a conversation either. As soon as the sun went down, Pan appeared in front of Y/N's tent, calling her to come out and get some firewood. His second in command stood not far, leaning against the bark of a tree and chewing on a toothpick. He didn't need to wait for his leader's command, already knowing he had to join her.

"Be quick." Pan ordered sternly, pressing his brows together before strutting back to the other boys. Her eyes instantly shifted over to the lanky, blonde boy, a smirk plastered on his pale face. If Pan knew that this was not a good idea? Felix turned on his heels and led the way through the trees uphill where the bushes covered the edges down to the abyss, not looking back once.

"C'mon, girlie." He said.

'Don't call me that!' She snapped back and paced up. The lost boy's camp disappeared on the ground, the higher Y/N followed the path before Felix stopped in front of a dark forest, the leaves swallowing every light before it could touch the ground.

"Princess." Felix corrected cockily, watching her step between the trees. She started to blush and was unable to say something, so she decided to simply ignore the giant boy's nickname for her, no matter how flattering his words seemed. She tried to act tough, tougher than she actually was, in hope he would recognise it.

"How in the hell should we get wood in the dark?' Y/N mumbled as she stared into the pitch black.

"Are you scared?" Felix teased and gave her a smirk. His voice was deep and rough, unsettling but still going like honey through her ears. The girl scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, then led the way with firm steps, not even seeing the ground and suddenly tripping over into a mess of wood.

"Fuck!" She hissed and held her hands to check the unbruised skin. The lost boy started to laugh darkly to himself, before he stepped closer.

"This wood is full of chunks." Felix explained and bent down to pick up the wood. Y/N rose to her feet and grabbed some wood, not saying another word. Felix remained silent as well, heading with heavy back to the camp. After a while he stopped and turned, watched if she could catch up and continued when the girl was close enough. All the time she wanted to talk to him, using the moment all alone with him, but as she hurried to follow the second in command, no single idea for a conversation came to her mind. It was like someone wiped every thought away and replaced it with the heavy drumming of her heartbeat. As soon as she reached the clearing, Felix dropped the wood onto the ground and left them for the other boys to take care of it. Her chunks landed right next to his and she paced up to catch up with the gloomy second in command, when a tight grip on the girl's wrist stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Y/N tilted her head and faced Dave, a tall chubby boy with messy brown hair, his eyes dark and soft like marbles. The lost boy looked like a bear, warm and welcoming, nevertheless it were his words that often scared her off. He only had nasty comments for Y/N, threats and if Pan wouldn't protect her for being a weak girl, the lost boy would probably harm her physically as well.

"The potatoes won't cook themselves!" Dave barked and pushed her harshly away before his eyes wandered over to the kitchen tent. Y/N bit her tongue to stop slipping a nasty comment, marched over to the humble kitchen and let out a growl when she saw the mess inside.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She whined as her eyes wandered over the dirty pots and Pan's, knives and forks along with every spoon. At least it was not stinking and disgusting, easy to wash, yet an avoidable effort if every boy would clean after themselves. But why should they? They had Y/N. Deciding to only clean the essential goods and shoving the other things aside, she opened a little basket with potatoes in it and placed them on the little counter. Like she expected, no one came to help her during the cooking, only one boy showed up to ask if she could hurry up. The same boy did not even thank her when she finally gave them the cooked potatoes half an hour later. The selfish behaviour of these boys was the thing Y/N hated most, more reason to focus on the second in command, the only boy who had never shown her this nasty attitude. While every other boy slowly gathered around the bonfire after they ate, Felix stayed where he was. He did not dance like the others and Y/N was not even sure if he could hear what the boys claimed to hear. Pan once said, his flute was special and the girl was supposed to hear her too. None of them had an explanation, still, it did not seem like the first time for Pan, seeing something like this.

The girl's eyes darted back to Felix, his eyes already burning on her skin and she instantly moved her head to make it look less obvious. The tempting idea of walking over to him burned inside her guts, but with all those boys around, she was like being frozen in place. The second in command never talked to her when it was not necessary, not even one muscle in his face twitched when he interacted with the others. Still, something inside Y/N pulled her towards him from the beginning, as if his attempt to block her out was even more tempting. When she distanced herself from the bonfire back to her tent, Felix stayed at his seat instead of following her like she had imagined he would do. A little disappointed she went to bed and kept twirling all her thoughts around the mysterious second in command. There were so many questions about him. No one ever understood Felix, maybe not even Pan, although they were closer to each other than no one else on this whole Island.

The following days Pan left Felix in charge, going on a mission by himself. The absence of Neverland's leader made itself noticeable first, when the lost boys stopped playing their big games and went directly to their duties, almost no words slipping from their usually loud mouths as they worked in silence. The day had started boring for everyone on it, Pan was already away for a few days, so Felix was fully in charge. Games were off, along with parties and especially dances in the evening. If Y/N could tell, the dances were the most annoying thing to the second in command, the thing he hated the most. Felix did not like the idea of taking care of anybody else but himself. So it came that even after weeks, Y/N had barely exchanged some words with him. He would simply avoid her and in case of sharing a task, just stare at her in curiosity. It was a lie to say he did not make her nervous, even when it was not in a scary way. The second in command was weird in any way and whenever he built himself up in front of her, she and broad, he made her look even shorter than she actually was. A feeling almost pleasant instead of scary. It was like something pulled her towards the cold lost boy, but the lack of courage would not let her talk to him. If he felt the same?

Felix was intimidating to look at, it was like something was wrong with his face but Y/N could never tell what. His high pitched cheeks were sharp and narrow and there was an awful scar running along his left cheek up to his brows like an 'x'. The most creepy things were his eyes though, whenever she looked into them, she was willingly drowning in a cold puddle that dragged her deeper in. They pierced her, as if he knew every secret inside the girl's head. Nevertheless, he was not ugly, rather pretty to look at. When his blonde hair hung messy over his face and the way he smelled. Whenever she walked past him, she would smell pinewood and musk. Even though he was well known for his cruelty, the lost boy never raised his hand against Y/N, nor called her nasty things like the others did. She was not even sure on how to do it anyways. Felix always looked busy or like he did not want anyone to speak to him. When she thought of it, the girl could not remember one single boy really talking to the second in command except Pan, but then again,- they only talked about plans and other secrets. He was a mystery of his own, a riddle for Y/N to solve. She glanced over to him and saw that he was carving something into a piece of wood. The lanky lost boy had distanced himself from the other boys, having his seat on a log as closest to the forest as possible. Maybe she could strike a conversation about his passion for carving? He was doing that almost everyday without talking about it and when she thought about it, she had never seen the final results. After a while, courage overcame her, so she stood up and walked slowly into Felix's direction, already noticing in the corner of her eyes the disapproving and concerned looks of some boys. They started to talk quietly to each other and she instantly knew it was about her. Their eyes burned more on Y/N's skin with each step further towards Felix, making her feel nervous and jumpy. Rolling with her eyes at them, she still marched to the lanky blonde boy, stopping when she was close enough to him. The heads of the lost boys instantly shot away, as if they felt too scared to let Felix know about their curiosity when he lifted his heavy head from his broad shoulders.

Felix's eyes darted up, his mouth shut tight and his facial expression went blank like always. His look told Y/N that he was strong, but never how he felt. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. Unable to speak, she stared with a deadpan face back at the second in command, trying to find an excuse for her behaviour. The idea with the wood seemed so dumb suddenly and she wished she could just melt into the ground or simply disappear as the lost boy stared back at her, locking their eyes and waiting for her to say something.

"Have you seen Pan?" Y/N choked out and sounded calmer than she expected to be. The blonde boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded behind him into the dark forest. Big trees hovered high up into the sky, all around the clearing, hiding every view. It was pitch black. Y/N swallowed at the sight of the dark woods and she shook her head slowly, feeling so scared of the unknown dangers. There was no reason for her to see Pan, the leader was not a pleasant person himself and the lie only made her more anxious.

"I think it wasn't important anyways." She mumbled unsure and turned around, feeling how her whole face heatened up at the fact that she talked to the mysterious second in command. Suddenly, the tall boy grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to turn and face him again.

"I'll bring you to him, if you feel scared to go alone." He said dry and rose to his feet, tall and intimidating. The girl was so small next to him, peeking up to him again as her limbs lightly started to tremble. Felix glanced down at her and again, she shook her head slowly. The girl did not know if he simply did not notice it, but when the lost boy shoved her into the pitch black, terror overcame her. What was he doing? Not daring to say a word, before the light around her vanished, she only felt the lost boy's hand on her back as he pushed her gently forwards. Her heart was pounding so hard, she feared he might feel it. Where the hell would he bring her? Where was Pan all the time?

"Don't." Y/N winced and turned on her heels, running past Felix back into the camp. The lost boy instantly jumped around and stormed after her, chasing her across the clearing towards some big trees. She tripped over one of their big roots, almost crashing down but still finding her balance. This was the moment Felix jumped at the girl, crashing down with her, his heavy weight pressing the air out of her lungs. The lost boy spun her around and pinned her arms down on the floor before she could take a sharp inhale. Y/N tried to free herself in panic, but she could not move at all, when the slender boy straddled her and held her down. The colours in Y/N's face faded away and her heart pumped wild inside her as if it were about to explode, unable to tell if she felt excited or scared. Maybe a healthy mix of both. She was sure he did not want to hurt her. Frankly, he never did.

"Why in the hell are you running from me." He asked angry, slightly confused and she thought even a bit hurt as he pressed his brows strictly together.

"Don’t hurt me." She muttered and the pale boy frowned. He loosened his grip and swiftly rose to his feet and pulled his hood back over his head, then strutted quickly away, not even giving her a last glance.

That was strange, she thought. Her heart was still beating furiously. What happened? The lost boy scared her and made her feel like burning at the same time. She took a deep breath and raised to her feet, wiping the dirt off her clothes. Felix was a strange guy and he only confused Y/N. Why did he just stand up and leave? She was not dumb and clearly could add two and two together. But it could not be that the second in command had some interest in her, why should he? The boy barely spoke to the girl, even when they had chores together. Y/N remembered one of the first days, when Pan sent them both to get some dreamshade and the tall blonde did not even let her near one of those plants, not even mentioning why. When he held the filled glasses, the boy walked a big distance between her back to camp, giving her the feeling of not being wanted. Later she had learned the dangers of it and Felix's strange behaviour now. It was an easy addition but she needed to be sure, not even knowing how to deal with this information.

If I am right.

The next day Felix clearly avoided her. Whenever he felt like she was too close, the lost boy would quickly find another place to go. She did not want to ask any of the boys about it, not wanting them to know, but it was obviously something off. They would not answer her anyways, only giving her questioning looks. After that weird situation in the evening before, the second in command completely vanished. There was no big effort to look for him and when the girl went to bed, she completely forgot about him. He had not given her any duties yet, so she took her chance and left the camp to take a shower and later gather some fruits and seeds, everything edible the Island would offer her without having to kill. She did not know how to hunt and was not sure if she could even catch an animal. Peter once told her that his best man would teach her to hunt, but Felix always seemed to be so busy that she simply never asked him to. At first she had avoided the blonde, lanky boy, not knowing his temper. He had scared her so much but now she could not stop thinking of how he had straddled her and how much she liked it. This was stupid. She barely knew Felix and still Y/N pictured herself with him in so many daydreams now. It was always easier to dream about someone and she was not crazy enough to consider anything about the rough boy. But where would he be? What is he doing right now? God, she needed to stop thinking about Felix. She was overthinking.

The time passed by and Y/N found herself at the clearing again, watching two boys fight in the distance, with a small crowd around to cheer their violence. Her eyes wandered over the whole area, searching for the second in command. He sat far away next to a few older lost boys that hollered around while drinking some rum. Since Felix would not let them do anything, the only possible solution for the boys was to drink and do stupid things that would not bother the tall scarred one. They were drinking more alcohol than any adult could ever handle. The girl's eyes shifted over the group, seeing how they stumbled and swayed around. Felix sat on a log with his own bottle of rum in his hands, he kept his distance from the other boys, observing them with a blank expression but it was visible that he was drunk, too. When he saw Y/N entering the camp, the second in command's head spun around, meeting her gaze and she could swear his face lightened up.

"Y/N!" Someone big yelled excitedly and jumped at her from the side, almost swaying her off her feet before she could even think of the name "Felix".

"Drink with us!" The chubby boy cheered with a dizzy voice. His dark, bushy eyebrows hung deep over his small eyes and he wrinkled his nose, making a nasty, slimy sound, reminding her of a mull. He was not pretty to look at, mean and vicious, sometimes insulting for no reason. He was that kind of a boy who would mock one and still complain when they did not want to be his friend.

"No, tha-"

"DRINK!" The chubby boy repeated himself more aggressively and grabbed Y/N's wrist to stop her from leaving before she could even try getting away. His fat fingers would definitely leave a mark later as she furiously tried to yank herself free.

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!" Y/N whined and buried her nails into his wrist, but the lost boy would not let go.

"It will be fun! Don't be such a lame ass." He gave back and tightened his grip. Felix, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, immediately jumped to his feet and stormed towards them, yanking the boy away and threw him violently into the mud. He gave him the most powerful kick that his anger would provoke, that the sound of the fat lost boy's scream caught everyone's attention.

"I will snap your fucking neck!" Felix threatened so calmly that the other boys would not even hear it as he pressed his jaw together, his hands forming into fists that his knuckles turned white. The chubby moonface groaned dizzy and turned onto his stomach, trying to lift himself drunkenly out of the sludge. With a closer look, Y/N understood why they all called him Piggy, instead of Mull. He turned his head confused around before he would drop back onto the ground again. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of this cruelty, even though she felt relieved and maybe a little entertained to see Piggy like this. He truly deserved it. On the other hand, she wondered why Felix came so quickly to help after he had tried his best to get out of her way. Y/N's cheeks burned up and she knew it would be the perfect moment to talk to him.

"Go." Felix said. He turned to her and shoved her gently away from the boys towards the tents. His big hand warmed her comfortably on her back, waking the butterflies in her stomach and causing her to shiver. The second in command rested one one of his arms on the girl's shoulder to keep his balance as he swayed between the tall bushes forwards between the trees.

"You should go to sleep." The lost boy said huskily, stopping in front of her tent, his grey eyes staring at the closed curtains. The excitement inside Y/N turned into disappointment when she saw where this actually went, so she stared irritated at the tent as Felix pulled his arm away and stepped away, slowly heading back.

"I am not tired!" Y/N gave back and knitted her brows together, confused why he just left her now. He could have stayed at the camp instead of joining her in the first place. Why come all this way up here? Felix's head spun around before turning back to stop right in front of the girl. He bent down to face her and made it possible to smell the alcohol in his breath as she stared into his gray eyes illuminated by the pale moonlight. The messy, ashen hair hung half over his face,- Y/N liked so many things about him and right now he was so perfect. He has never been that close before, except when he had tackled her.

"The boys aren't so well behaved," The second in command snickered. "Especially not in that state."

Y/N giggled when she thought of Felix acting like he was a good boy, after all those terrible things he did. There was a reason why he was second in command of this brutal gang and he proved it by the way he treated Piggy.

"And you're not?" She gave back quite bravely, raising an eyebrow cockily. Felix chuckled low to himself, slightly shaking his head before he gave her a smirk, showing his white palette of perfectly lined up teeth.

"If you want me to," Felix purred and wiggled with his brows. "I'll be whatever you want."

The girl felt goosebumps spread all over her body at his words and for a moment, she just stared speechless back at him, unable to say a word and wanting nothing more than kissing those pink lips. Felix was drunk, he could not think straight and definitely did not mean what he said. The lost boy's breath tickled hers and she noticed how close he was and how she just had to lean in, to steal a kiss. There was no way she would risk it, well aware that Pan loved games and she could not let the thought go, his best man would love them as well.

"Do you have any suggestions?" She asked as her nose touched his, her lips almost on his as she gently ran her hands over his chest. Felix ignored the question, moving instinctively and rough, grabbing Y/N's neck and pulling her in to close the distance between their mouths. His tongue was warm and tasted like liquor, still it did not bother her at all, when he vividly explored the inside of her mouth. Felix's hands vanished under her hair, grabbing her head and pressing the girl firmer against him while his intoxicated mind led his actions. Y/N gasped surprised into the kiss, not expecting him to do this even though it was what she wished for. Felix was way taller than her and for the moment he was forced to bend down at her height, holding her in his broad arms that pressed her tightly against his chest. When Felix’s pulled away, his eyes were still shut and he ran his thumb over Y/N's lips, licking his own and let out a gasp when he realised that he did not only imagined to do that. Then his eyes widened and she could see that he realised for the first time what just happened, what he just did.

"Sorry…" Felix mumbled unbelievingly and shook his head with widened eyes. He pushed her harshly away and rose to his feet, quickly checking full terror if someone had watched it.

"I was-" Felix spoke hoarse and slowly took a step back, then another one, a few more, until he turned on his heels and sprinted quickly away, not finishing what he tried to say.

Y/N stood there for a moment as if she were stuck in place, not able to process what just happened. With a swift movement she stormed through the curtains of her tent towards her bed to hide under the covers. She grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed inside it. It was hard to tell if she felt excited or embarrassed. Felix kissed her, so why should she be worried about something? Maybe it was a test and she failed? Hell no, that would be some serious bullshit if that were the first explanation and she had seen his reaction. The way he held her and how he tasted heatened her up. Every cell inside her body craved for more.

No, what are you doing, she thought and shook her head, replaying that scenario in her head over and over again like a broken record. With a swift move she rolled onto her back and stared up at the curtain ceiling, hoping to find an answer to what her next step could be. If the lost boys would find out, they would never stop talking about it, maybe even start to think she was easy to have. Y/N gulped and squinted her eyes at the thought of them all trying to hit on her. Felix was different though. He was tall and intimidating, his cold stare would pierce through her with a burning desire and his smell intoxicated her mind. Whenever he was around, she could barely think straight, desperately wanting to figure out what laid beneath that cold facade. Never in a thousand years, she could have guessed that he liked her back. On the other hand, he was not able to make proper decisions drunkenly and maybe Y/N was encouraging herself too much. There was almost nothing she knew about the tall boy and falling for him that fast could only harm herself in the end.

Y/N closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, touching them, while imaging to feel Felix's on them again and remember what they tasted like. The second in command barely spoke to her and now that? There was definitely more behind it. It had to. Her other hand slowly wandered over her stomach to pull up the dress, slipping a finger inside to play with herself. It was not the first time she thought of him while touching herself, but this time something was off. Deep inside her something stopped Y/N, no matter how aroused she already was. She needed to talk to Felix. Under no circumstances she would let him ignore her for days again. Yanking the blanket away, Y/N jumped out of the bed and eagerly left the tent, turning her head furiously around to find the tall boy. He did not sit next to the others anymore and when she walked downhill to his cabin, she could feel her heart pumping furiously inside her chest. The girl stopped in front of the wooden door to knock and when no one answered she knocked again.

"Felix!" She tried to be as loud as she could be while still not attracting someone else's attention. There was still no answer and she felt dumb for even thinking it was as easy as this to find him after the previous events. He could not be far, the lost boys still needed someone who had an eye on them before someone could get hurt. Their hollering was still audible and the bonfire in the distance let Y/N see a few of them behind the bushes. For a moment she thought of going back to the clearing again, hoping to find Felix there, but the thought of meeting Piggy alone now was no good.

"Y/N." The girl suddenly heard Felix’s raspy voice behind her and she turned dazzled around, the warmest smile sitting on her lips.

Felix swayed dizzily into her direction, closing the gap between them two while he tried to keep his balance. The lost boy's head was too high up, making it impossible to steal a kiss from him now.

"What are you doing here? I told you to sleep." He asked nervously and pulled her away from his cabin towards the trees, his head constantly turning to look if someone watched. When he placed his hand on the girl's back again, his touch sent electric waves through her spine and she wondered how his slender finger would feel on her bare skin.

"Did you drink more?" She asked, noticing how he swayed more and the second in command vividly shook his head in response, grinning like a small boy on a sunny day.

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-Uh."

"I can cleanly tell-"

"I am-," Felix grabbed Y/N gently by the back of her neck and pulled her in, his face coming closer again. "-Not. Drunk."

She started to laugh and leaned into his grip, bringing her own hand up to touch his scar. Felix's blue eyes melted when he felt her fingers, closing them and relaxing as her touch traced as light as a feather down his skin. He relaxed for a moment and enjoyed the touch on his scarred skin, before he suddenly woke out of trance.

"The boys better not see us." He cleared his throat and broke apart, letting go of her.

"No one saw us, Felix." His name echoed through the dark forest like honey and Y/N grabbed his hand tight- she was way smaller than his. The girl felt Felix's breath in her face, how his nose almost touched hers and before he could do anything she had already closed the gap between them two, pressing her lips against his. Felix moaned surprised into her mouth but instantly grabbed her cheeks and slid his tongue inside. She could still taste the liquor and wondered if she might have taken advantage of this situation. The tall boy's moans told her otherwise. He moved his hands slowly towards the girl's waist down to her ass, cupping it rough while her smell intoxicated his senses.

"We shouldn't." He whispered and she heard him move even though it was too dark to see. Nevertheless Felix pressed himself harder against her and she felt through his pants how hard he already was from only kissing.

"Why not." She breathed against his neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

"The boys," Felix said, his eyes rolling back with a soft moan when he felt her tongue on his throat. It was enough to convince the second in command, his fingers wandered over her delicate body, burying them inside her tender flesh. It's been a long time since someone touched Y/N and she could not resist the lost boy's demanding hands. He lifted her dress and wandered with his palm over her skin to the rim of the underwear, enjoying the small moans when his fingers wandered further to her inner thigh, drawing invisible circles on it.

"Felix…" His grip tightened when he heard the girl purr his sweet name in the most delicious way and he almost could not hold himself back to tear her clothes off right at this place. The lost boy dared to slip one of his fingers inside Y/N's panties and when she did not complain, he pushed his slender index inside of her, feeling how her soft walls tightened around him. If Felix had not realised it earlier, he knew at least by now how much she craved him when he felt how wet she already was. Y/N let out a gasp when he started to push his long finger in and out of her, causing the girl's legs to tremble and her knees to shiver in excitement. She closed her eyes, giving up trying to see something in the dark as she melted into Felix's arms, her face sliding down onto his shoulder. She found her balance by grabbing the lost boy's leg and then she realised that he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N was actually glad that the surroundings were pitch black, feeling her cheeks heating up in embarrassment from her uncontrollable sweet moans. Before she would absolutely lose her mind, the girl managed to push the lost boy slightly away from her while her hands moved down to his belt. Her fingertips ran over the leather and the lost boy instantly frowned at her touch, his whole body stiffened and he stopped moving for a second.

"W-wait." He stammered, the adrenaline pushing the dizziness of the alcohol away. "I-I… never…" he continued and stopped, his hands wrapped around Y/N's wrist, insecurities overwhelming him as he held her in a safe distance. Now she really wished to see his face, well aware that he must look like earlier when he kissed her, startled and somehow shy.

"Well," she replied after a small pause, her voice echoing clear through the night, "Neither have I."

There was an awkward silence between them two and if the lost boy would not hold her by her hips, she would probably believe he was gone by now. The second in command was embarrassed for no reason, what did he fear? Y/N had no clue how to do this and if she was honest, it was way more appealing that Felix was a virgin, too, even though she did not expect that. All the time she thought he was so confident and now he was so vulnerable to her. The lost boy still did not speak, so she bent into another kiss, hoping to catch his lips in the dark. Felix gasped when he felt her lips on his scar and pulled the girl back in. This was good, they did not need to talk- should not talk. It would only make this weird. Talking would come naturally. Felix grabbed Y/N's hands gently and brought them back to his belt for her to continue what she had started. She let her fingers trail over the leather to his buckle to open it, enjoying the moment when she opened the button of his pants and slowly pulled down his zipper. The lost boy moaned inside her mouth when she slid her hand into his pants, pumping his hardened cock as best as the tight cotton would allow her to. Felix noticed her struggle and broke apart from the kiss to lift himself up and take off his clothes. Y/N heard how each piece of clothing dropped onto the ground while she waited to be told to do the same.

"Should I keep my dress on or-"

"Keep it on." Felix ordered and chuckled to himself, then pulled her back against him, his cock pressing against her stomach. The lost boy let his hands slide under the girl's dress and pulled down her panties for more access, then kneeled naked in front of her while his fingers did their magic. They felt so long and strange, making Y/N wonder if she could even handle Felix's cock. He already felt so big in her hand when she touched him again, fully exposed and hardened. The lost boy lifted one of her legs over his broad shoulder and before Y/N could even figure out what he was doing, Felix pressed his tongue against her clit. She let out a surprised gasp and giggled at the ticklish sensation. The lost boy felt how tense her leg was and reached for the girl's hand, holding it and drawing invisible circles on her palm.

"Relax." He lifted his head and lightly squeezed her fingers, caressing it a little, then pushed his mouth against her slit, his hot breath warming her as his tongue slid over her clit. The comfort of his touch relaxed Y/N instantly as if the lost boy had enchanted her somehow. He pressed his rough tongue harder against her, burying his face between her legs as he ate her out. The girl could not control herself to keep her from moaning, but led the boy's pace with it, whenever something felt good. He buried his nails into the tender flesh of her thighs and with a swift move he pushed the girl down onto the ground, pushing his fingers faster into her. She could not tell which was tongue or fingers, the overflowing sensation spread inside her body up to her eyes as she felt how she got closer to her orgasm. When Felix’s jaw started to ache he broke apart, breathing heavily and leaving Y/N craving for more on the cold ground in the exact moment she would almost finish. Without saying a word the lost boy pulled himself up to her, placing some sloppy kisses on her mouth before placing his arms next to her, so that his weight would not be too much.

"I want you so much." He panted while he slowly let his thumb circle over her aroused clit.

"Felix-" She pressed her lips onto his and stroked his hardened dick and pulled his torso closer to lead him to her wet entrance. The lost boy let out an uncontrollable moan as he pressed his dick against her dripping slit that already craved him so hard, slowly gliding in to make the girl feel every piece of his mighty cock. He stayed in this position for a moment to adjust this feeling and Y/N felt herself tighten around him, excitement overwhelming her body along with the smell of the lost boy intoxicating her mind.

"Fuck!" Felix hissed as he started to move in a steady motion. His lips caught her once more, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. Y/N took a sharp breath and pushed her hand against his abdomen, when the lost boy moved, feeling like getting torn apart by him. The lost boy stopped for a moment, shoving one arm under her neck to hold her while his lips softly traced over her chest. After a short moment, Felix moved again. Y/N buried her nails into his skin and rolled her eyes back as the lost boy thrusted into her core, slowly feeling herself relaxing in this position after a few strokes. The pain faded away and she melted into Felix's body as if he was meant to hold her. The sweetest words kept unsaid, too embarrassing, too emotional, still, there was something inside them both that felt more than just enjoying sex. It was Felix who took her virginity and the thought of being the one who took his let her heart skip faster. The second in command felt like a dream,- his sweaty, hot skin pressed tight against hers, his abs flexed and hardened during every move and he was just so fucking tall. Felix moved both of his hands down and cupped her naked butt, lifting Y/N up and pressing her against the bark of a tree. He buried his fingers into her tender flesh and left a trail of kisses on her neck as far as he would reach her. The lost boy held Y/N as if she weighed nothing, pressing her body tightly against his skin. She could not resist sinking her teeth into his neck, sucking on the delicate spot until she was sure he would not leave without a mark. As soon as Felix realised what she was doing, he pulled her head back by her hair. To his own surprise, she let out a light moan, feeling even more excited from his big hand in them.

"The boys can't know." Felix purred into Y/N's ear before he licked over her neck, sinking his teeth lightly into her shoulder to hold him back from letting out another moan.

"Harder!" The girl commanded for Felix's surprise, who had already thought he was already being too rough with her. The lost boy followed the order, pressing himself tighter against her before he paced up, pumping in and out. The sudden sensation flooded Y/N's body and she knew there was something building up inside her, an indescribable feeling of being high. Felix moans got higher, sometimes even stuck in his throat and she was sure he was close too and that he desperately wanted to climax. Before she could realise it, Felix swayed them back onto the ground, gripping her ankles and pressing them against his legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck to capture the lost boy in another kiss.

"I am almost-" Felix spoke in a hoarse tone. It was so dark and Y/M really wished she could see his face at this moment. Felix was so vulnerable right now and even though his moans were the most beautiful melody in her ears, just the thought of a short glimpse of his face made her feel hotter.

"Felix." She purred when he suddenly hit a spot that would not stop making her feel like being on ecstasy.

"I-." She gasped when the knot inside her stomach released and she felt her orgasm roaring through her body with thousands of tiny, electric waves. Jaw clenched and eyes pinched, Felix gave it to her in short, powerful bursts, filling her up with throbbing pumps. His abs flexed and his hands tightened around her ankles. He cursed. His body tensed, and she swore she felt his cock pulsing inside of her as he came in waves, thrusting in and out until he felt himself getting soft.

"Fuck…" Felix let her legs fall to the side as he bent to rest his head on her sweaty chest. "That was…"

She combed her fingers through his messy hair, almost out of words how incredibly good she felt. "That was something."

"Yeah." He kissed the spot between her breasts, "It was."

Felix pulled his dick out, not even seeing the mess he made but still wanting more. Neither of them wanted that night to end and for a while, Felix tried to find his clothes and Y/N thought of how she would clean herself up.

"C'mon." Felix whispered and she heard him step away.

"Wait!" Y/N called and quickly grabbed her underwear- well, the only choice right now-, cleaning herself with it, before running after the tall blonde and crashing into his back.

"Easy, love." He chuckled and grabbed her under one of his arms and strutted towards the dark in one direction, knowing this place perfectly, even drunkenly and without light.

"Where are we going?" The girl asked after what felt like an eternity for her, but in reality it was just a few minutes. The trees left some space for the moonlight now and gave her a chance to take a peak from the second in command's happy face. His cheeks were dyed a deep scarlet and his hair hung messy and full sweat down his face.

"Trust me." He said and paced a little up before he came to halt in front of a big tree, the ladder up to it vanished behind some leaves. Felix climbed up first and lifted the girl up into the tree house when reached the trap door. Felix moved towards a small night desk and lit up a candle. As soon as the light flooded the room, Y/N saw the small cot and a self-made desk under one of the closed windows.

"I built it myself." The lost boy grinned and proudly watched the awe in her face. She swirled around and looked at some little carvings that were placed on the wooden table. Some of them looked like her. When Y/N's eyes detected the little sculpture, she finally understood why she never saw the results and why he burned one earlier. The girl turned around to say something, but Felix stopped her immediately. Before she could say anything, Felix dropped down onto one knee and pulled her into a kiss. His tongue slid over her lips, begging for permission to enter. Without thinking about it, she opened her mouth and felt the lost boy's hand on her hips, pressing her against his body.

"I never thought you would like me too." Felix moaned and eagerly kissed his way down her neck, back to her face and lips, repeating the same thing on the other side and showing how hungry he still was for the girl. Felix clearly had not been touched in a while, just like Y/N, so it was quite natural that they immediately would have a moment like this sooner or later. But why Felix? What was about him that made Y/N constantly crave more, causing her to feel like an addict without his drugs, whenever his lips left hers? Her cheeks heated up and she smiled in the kiss, thinking of the previous events, how Felix's hands felt on her skin. It was special to be with him and the girl's instincts told her that it was more than just sex, that Felix wanted more, too.

"I want you again." Felix licked over his lips and looked at Y/N through half-opened eyes before he slowly melted back into another kiss, this time slow and passionate, synchronising with her while his hands moved down her hips and legs. He gently rubbed his hand against her inner thigh and wandered towards her crotch, to shove a finger inside her still wet hole. He smirked dirty when he felt his mess. Y/N wanted him so much, just like he craved her, maybe even a little more.

"I want to get naked all night long." Felix purred as he pushed his fingers inside and out of Y/N, her light moans echoing in his ears. Without further commands, the girl slipped the dress over her shoulder, letting it elegantly slide down her now exposed body. Felix's cheeks flushed up into the deepest red, his eyes admiring every sight of her that he desired for so long, and truth be told, he was in awe. When the cotton touched the floor, the lost boy grabbed for the hem of his own shirt and ripped it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants before he crossed them with his underwear through the room. When Felix pinned her down and pulled Y/N into another kiss, he was already hard again, his hot skin burning against hers as her mind drifted off into a feeling of ecstasy. The way Felix's hands trailed down her body gave her chills once more, kept her warm and made her feel wanted.

"Pan would kill us for this." She mumbled into the kiss when the girl thought of how he protected her earlier, something he never did before and sure did not keep unnoticed to the other boys as well. It worried Y/N for a moment, thinking about how Pan always found out every secret, no matter how little it was. And this was definitely not a small secret, something that could be obvious to others. Or maybe Y/N was just paranoid.

"Relax." Felix said, frowning at her words as if the same thought had bothered him for a while now, too. "He isn't here. He won't find out."

The blonde boy rolled over onto his back, pulling the girl with him so she would straddle him. The light of the candle danced over his sharp features, letting it shine in an orange light that spread down to his muscles, constantly catching her eyes as if they were glued on him. Felix always looked beautiful in the orange light of the fire. Every night she would catch herself staring at him. He was perfect.

"You look so beautiful." Felix whispered more to himself than to her, then wiped some hair out of her face. "Unbelievable that someone like you chose someone weird like me."

Before Y/N could correct him, the second in command already captured her lips with his own, burying one hand in her hair while he kneaded one of her breasts with the other one. His words only flattered the girl and she felt the burning desire to finally be one with him again and melt into his body. Felix gasped at her touch and moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her hand around his dick, slowly pumping up and down while gently rubbing at the delicate tip. His member felt long and thick in her hands, but did not scare her off like earlier. Placing the tip at her wet entrance, she slowly slid down onto him, relieved that the lost boy did not push against back,. The stretching feeling made her feel like getting torn apart all over again and she gave herself a moment to adjust to the size. The lost boy rolled his eyes back and shut them with a loud moan when he felt her walls tightened around, rubbing his thumbs against the tender flesh of her hips, when she finally started to slowly move up and down. Seeing the ruthless second in command like this was really stunning and lovely to look at. Felix's mouth was slightly agape and the muscles on his forehead were constantly twitching, moving his eyebrows constantly around. Never had Y/N seen so much emotion in his face before. She pressed her body against the lost boy and sucked at the tender part of Felix's neck. The lost boy used that moment as a chance to turn her over, holding Y/N tight in his arm, the other one holding his weight so he would not suffocate her while he was pumping in and out. Y/N moaned in ecstasy and ran her hands over his muscular back, feeling his skin against them and how his sweat dropped onto her body. She placed her legs on each side of his, clearly noticing the height difference and feeling like a delicate doll as he embraced her. Felix paced up and she rolled her eyes back when he entered in another angle to come even deeper. She never wanted this to stop and kept feeling how the lost boy filled her with his thick manhood, smelling his scent and feeling his hot skin burning against hers. Felix kissed his way down to her chest and caught one of her nipples between his lips, lightly starting to suck on them and intensing it with each time he thrusted in. These were the final strokes that caused Y/N's legs to shiver and tense up every muscle in her body as her climax roared through her whole body, up into her eyes into the back of her head. The lost boy grabbed Y/N's shoulders and when he came, too, the light of the candles danced in his beautiful, scrunched up face. It was a lie to say she did not like that view and the squeaking sound he made when Felix felt his orgasm deep inside her with throbbing pumps. Felix rolled next to the girl, trying to catch his breath and when he did so, he grabbed a towel from the bed for her.

"We could have used the bed." Y/N broke the soothing silence after a while and Felix chuckled, then nodded in agreement.

"Next time." He grinned, pulling his boxers up and placing himself back onto the ground. His eyes did not stop looking at the girl while she grabbed her dress and pulled it back over herself. For a long time they just looked at each other, laughing and giggling, kissing each other but remaining silent. This was clearly something none of them expected to happen.

"What do you see in me?" Y/N suddenly asked, caughting the lost boy off guard, his facial expression went into full confusion. It took him a moment to think about her question before he simply smiled. His eyes would always melt at her sight and in that moment she needed no words from him to realise how much he was in love with her. The lost boy pulled Y/N closer to him and placed her head against his chest, lifted her on his arms and carried her to the bed where he would let himself fall onto the soft mattress. His legs hung over the wooden frame as he gently rubbed his hands over her back while listening to the beat of his heart.

"I would never let anyone harm you." His voice was just a warm breeze on her earlobe, tickling her like a gentle kiss.

"What about Pan?" She asked after a while and took a glimpse at his relaxed face and how her question did not seem to have woken any worries inside him now. He had brushed it off earlier.

"I think, actually, he knew way before me." Felix chuckled low and shook his head unbelieving. "He gave me a chance I got wasted."

#felix ouat #ouat felix #parker croft #ouat felix imagine #ouat felix x reader #ouat felix smut

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jameui · 3 years

Text

MOVIE DATE

PAIRING: Hwang Hyunjin x Manager!M!Reader

GENRE: Angst, Fluff

WARNING: Hyunjin being a jerk

SUMMARY: You boyfriend, Hyunjin took you out on a date to watch your favorite movie.

You sighed in exhaustion and as if the world was trying to test you, a fast running bicycle came your way causing you to jump to the side, so fast that you forgot about the takeouts you had in your hands and at a blink of an eye the neatly boxed items fell to the ground, all the food now spilled on the floor with your eyes widening in fear. "Shit!" You yelled out and tried to get back to the restaurant again, but as soon as you got there the line was already long and it'd take you ages to get to the counter to order, again.

You were at your way to your work with your phone squeezed in between your shoulder and ear as you talked to your co-manager on the other line who seemed agitated for your tardiness, while you tried to balance the foods you were made to order. "Yes, sir. I'll make sure that won't happen again." You told the male before the call was cut short when he decided to hang up all of a sudden.

Looking around, you saw a chinese restaurant that had the smallest line, so you went there and bought the food there, even though the orders of the group was not exactly what they wanted for you to buy. You just couldn't go back empty handed.

After a few minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the venue of the fansign event and got there just in time before Stray Kids were called to the stage for their activity to be done, but the moment you got there you saw that the people present were already eating their food away. They noticed your presence entering the room whilst their head turned to look at you. "I... Good morning, everyone." You greeted them. 'Guess their manager got their food delivered.'

You didn't get a reply, except from the group who was more than happy to see that you had food on your hands. "Hyung! Thank God. I was starving." The group's youngest, Jeongin said as he helped you put the foods down on the table. "You're seriously a life saver."

You smiled at him giving him a muttered thanks that earned you a smile from Jeongin. Honestly speaking, Jeongin was the second best person you ever liked in the group, the first being Lee Felix since he was the only person to ever approach you on your first day since he was able to see how much you were so nervous. Felix was also one of the members who taught you korean, the other being Bang Chan. You had always knew the group back then, and now and you were damn thankful that you got the opportunity to be in their circle.

Knowing how young you were to be working for them, they treated you nicely, not because they needed to, rather cause it was in their nature to be caring. Well, at least except one person. You were the closest to Felix who treated you like his personal manager and a friend as well, going out on friendly dates with you to the park, dog cafés, just anywhere Felix would find interesting to visit.

Who's the person that seemed irritated whenever you were around you ask? Why, the one and only visual king, Hwang Hyunjin. He doesn't actually treat you bad, but the way his eyes would always turn dark or displeased when you show up in his line of sight made you feel so small and felt totally unwelcomed. That was then, apparently, since today the male looked a little too quiet and didn't even bother to look at you. Believe me or not that's actually the kindest thing he's done to you.

You would try to go to him to try and talk to him, worried by his silence. You just furrowed your brows and sighed completely aware that no matter how much you try to talk to him he won't even dare to acknowledge you being there for him.

"M/n, are you just gonna stand there? Come and eat." Chan told you, but you just politely declined his offer with the shake of your head before telling him that you had just taken your breakfast and that you were full, more and you feel like your stomach's gonna burst. "Hm, suit yourself, but I'll be leaving mine untouched, so you can eat it when you get hungry, yeah?"

"You're so kind, Chan." You gave him a smile that got Chan smiling also showing his deep dimples that you could just dive in it anytime soon.

"Hey, hey, hey! We've known each other the longest. Why do I still have to call you 'hyung' and M/n doesn't?" Jisung, one of the group's rapper, pouted with folded arms as Chan chuckled before ruffling the kid's hair that Jisung angrily shook off.

"Well, since he's not that spoiled, unlike you." Chan answered Jisung who gasped dramatically. "And he also gained my permission, so—"

"Whenever or not he's around, is he the only person that ever comes into your mind?" That all too familiar voice spoke out, all your heads turning towards the person. He scoffed and stood up with a smirk on his face, probably in disbelief that the whole group was talking to you and always thought about you. "I mean, come on. There's gotta be something else to talk about other than this... person." You felt his eyes look at you while your eyes stared at him with rising anger. "There's sports, other artists, songs, music, so many and you chose to pick him as the topic of your talk."

"Hyunjin, that is very disrespectful." Chan gritted out, but Hyunjin knew better than to listen or to even stop.

"I'm really not, hyung." Hyunjin's smirk grew wider eyeing you with a suspicious look on his eyes. An idea popped in his head as he opened his mouth to talk. "But, if you want to, I could show you how disrespectful I can get." Without any warning, he took the take-out container and bottled drink in his hand and gave you no second to react as he poured all of its contents onto your head with a loud gasp coming out of you. "There. I'll call it a masterpiece even."

"Hwang Hyunjin!" Bang Chan's voice boomed through the whole room a still smirking Hyunjin turning around to face the older male who was fuming with anger. "You—"

"Chan!" You called out to him before things got a little out of hand. For pete's sake their going to just fight because Hyunjin had made a mess of you? You were not even worth the fight. "No. I'm fine. I can just quickly change, that's all. I'll be right back and I better get no reports about you two fighting." You told the two, Chan rolling his eyes.

You got out of the room and ran as fast as you can to the nearest restroom, cleaning yourself as soon as you arrived. Times like this you would immediately bawl your eyes out, but with the constant behavior that Hyunjin showed to you, you grew used to it. Heck, you even sometimes feel that the other boys only act like they liked you being there and when you weren't, they'd stab you behind your back. "Goodness, why won't this get off."

"Need help?" A raspy voice came from the entrance of the restroom, turning your head around to see Felix leaning himself on the door frame with his arms crossed, then untangled them to let his hands rest inside his pockets and stepped inside as you smiled at him. "Do you need more tissue?"

You shook your head at him, your attention back on your stained favorite shirt wiping them clean with the tissues the place's restroom owned. "Nah, there's plenty here. Besides, I'm all dried up now." You said and showed yourself to him, Felix knitting his brows in worry.

He seeped air through his teeth and cocked his head to the side, unsure if you should be wearing that now dirty shirt when you'd be with them during the activity the whole time. "I don't think you should be wearing that."

"Why? It's my favorite sweater." You chuckled half-heartedly.

"Yeah, I know, M/n, but it's dirty. Plus, I think it gets pretty uncomfortable seeing that stain on your shirt and it gets sticky. Yeugh." Felix pretended to barf which got you laughing softly. Felix, though not trying to be funny, whatever he does it always seemed so funny to you.

"Fine, fine. I'll go change, the problem though is that I didn't bring an extra shirt with me today." You told Felix scratching your nape.

"Really? Well, I guess we have to borrow from one of the group's." Felix suggested, but your eyes grew sizes bigger upon hearing that and waved your hands.

"No way, Felix! I have already done enough damage, I can't afford to borrow a shirt from one of the members, or to you even." You told him, but it all fell on deaf ears as Felix refused to listen. "I'm just trouble, Felix. You don't have to worry about me."

Felix hummed with two fingers pinching his chin gently. "Yeah, I don't think so." He took your wrist and started to drag you back to the dressing room. "Come on, I know there's someone willing to let you borrow a shirt." You just sighed, knowing that Felix won't even dare to change his mind when he had already set them on something.

Alas, as you two got there, none of the members even had a spare shirt to let you borrow. They were very willing and even tried to look around if there was anything, but to no avail. Although, there was one last person you didn't ask. "Hyunjin. You were the cause of this mess, you let him borrow your shirt." Felix sternly told the older male who pilled his brows together.

"What?! No way! Are you telling me I'd offer to do something for that guy? No!" Hyunjin retorted making Felix growl.

Felix was so ready to throw punches at the male who didn't seem to be bothered by the situation, but you just put a hand on Felix's shoulder and assured him. "That's alright, Felix. My sweater was thick enough to not get my undershirt wet. Although, I'm grateful for your effort." You smiled at him and sighed.

Just in time, you heard a call from one of your co-manager that the group was already being requested to be at the stage right now. You gave them an encouraging smile as they all did the same. "Alright boys. It's time to go out there and meet millions of your fans."

The group all shouted, excluding Hyunjin, hurray and hurried out to get on stage, you following behind after you were able to discard your sweater, leaving you only on your black t-shirt. You shivered at the cold now that you were left with a thin clothing that wasn't appropriate for the type of weather you were having and not mention that the place was fully air-conditioned.

Your shaking was not too evident, but one of the members, Seungmin, was able to notice it. Feeling pity he made his way to Hyunjin and tried to convince him. "Jinnie, M/n's cold. Please lend him your jacket, at least. He'll get sick if he continues to get exposed to the cold."

"Better for him."

"Hyunjin, please... Besides, you're already wearing thick layers of clothes why not let M/n borrow." Seungmin reasoned out and solemnly knitted his brows to persuade the male, Hyunjin rolling his eyes at his bestfriend and huffed before taking his jacket off of him and handed it over to Seungmin who silently squeaked. "Thanks, Hyunjin." Hyunjin brushed it off with a 'whatever', the younger of the two jogging his way towards you and gave you the jacket he got from Hyunjin. "I noticed your shivering, so I want you to take this jacket and no, you can't say you can't accept it."

You nodded your head at him and took the jacket from his hands. "Thank you, Seungmin."

"My pleasure." He smiled at you with those puppy dog like smile. He skipped back to reunite with his group while you put on the jacket that Seungmin offered you. You were still in thought though how Seungmin was able to convince Hyunjin to let you borrow his jacket. You knew Hyunjin owned the jacket since he wouldn't let them go since the moment you arrived.

You noticed how the jacket was too big for you, since the sleeves of the piece of clothing only let your fingers peek out through the holes while the flaps reached further down your hips, but it totally felt cozy and smelled like... Hyunjin. How do you explain it? You don't even know where to begin. It was him. The reason why you wanted to work with Stray Kids. You didn't want to look like you were some type of stalker, but all you ever wanted was to befriend Hyunjin.

The befriending process didn't go the way you actually thought it would go. Everytime his eyes met yours or you heard his voice you'd get all flustered and so nervous that your tongue always gets tied, the words you want to tell him gets trapped inside your mouth. It all started to be just an admiration towards the slightly older male until your determination to become his friend gradually became an unknown feeling towards Hyunjin, until realizing later that you actually liked the group's rapper, despite all his bad treatment towards you.

Back to reality, you hugged yourself and took in the wonderful scent the artist gave off until one of your co-worker nudged you. "Hey, stop sniffing the clothes. You totally look like a sasaeng."

"W-what? I wasn't sniffing anything." You denied it earning an eye roll. Later, you heard the whole place bursted into shouts of joy and excitement as Stray Kids made their appearance on the stage greeting all their fans inside and outside of the place. They all took their turns taking the mic to express their happiness and gratefulness to their ocean of fans that filled up the whole place.

Soon, the group was seated at a long rectangular table that was a perfect fit letting all the members seat on their respective seats. There were chairs as well settled in front of the table with each settled across a specific member.

You were appointed to keep guard and stand behind Hyunjin, in any case of fans throwing shade at him or any forms of harm or hate towards the member who had just been caught up in a supposed bullying rumor.

The line started to form as people who were present inside the place took their turns to talk to each member and get a sign from them. So far, you could only wonder how paranoid the company was to keep you on guard of Hyunjin when all these people here are Stays and they wouldn't do such thing to throw hate to any members in the group. Right?

The line was still too long to be gone in just minutes making you sigh, hearing your tummy rumble hoping that no one heard that. You now finally regret not eating that noodles that Chan offered you, the hunger finally hitting your system as your tummy continued to grumble. You pursed your lips and forced your eyes closed while you brought your head down in embarrassment. 'Fuck... why now?'

After a short while, the line was starting to get shorter and shorter, you thanking the heavens for the fast passing by of the time. But, the moment you least expected to happen happened. You felt a harsh tap on your legs and another and another after it finally took your attention, getting a little shocked that the action was done by the person who hated you the worst. "Take it before I change my mind." He told you. You complied and bowed at him politely as he tuts his tongue. "Who would even think of going to work on an empty stomach?"

'You... poured it on me?' You thought then shrugging it off before you looked at the treat offered to you by Hyunjin. You wondered what type of bread it was and hesitated, although Hyunjin's back was facing you he was able to sense your hard time on trying to eat what he gave you.

"It's not poisoned, M/n." He whispered as he signed the album that had his photo on it, then looking up at the fan who would like to talk to him.

Their talk wasn't audible to you, but you opened the packaging of the nicely wrapped pastry and bit on it with your body facing the wall so your back was turned against the people to cover yourself while you ate. One of your co-manager did notice your unwanted behavior and stomped his way to you and took the baked good from your hands and threw it to the ground to step on it and crush it good. "What do you think you're doing, L/n?! You're being inappropriate right now." He gritted out to you with a small voice almost like a whisper so no one else would hear you two. You bowed your head subtly before a hand was placed right below your chin as you looked up at him confused. "Spit." He ordered, referring to the food you were chewing.

You nod your head and spit out the food that was in your mouth into his hand while he picked up the wasted food and left, then threw it all at a trash can. "Fuck." You sighed as you held your chest and slowly turned around to face the non-existent line, the group now interacting with their fans.

Just looking at them now, you were able to remember when you were the one who was there seated at the chairs shouting out the name of the person you would call as your bias, which is no other than Kim Seungmin. At least, when you still didn't take the job to be one of the group's manager. Usually, it would only take one manager to manage the group, but why did this group require another one? You questioned yourself. It was all unexplained to you, but all you gotta do was to just be glad that you get to be friends with the people you see as your role models.

"Hyunjin-ah! When did you start trading jackets with your manager?" The question came out as a shout that got everyone laughing, including the group. You were only able to chuckle knowing that it was Seungmin who convinced Hyunjin to let you borrow his jacket.

Hyunjin didn't get to answer the question, when another fan spoke from the crowd that got every fans' attention. "Are rumors true that you don't treat Manager L/n well?"

Chan furrowed his brows and picked up his microphone. "Where did you get this story?" He chuckled trying to make it sound that it wasn't true and just pure bluff. Chan looked at Hyunjin with the face that told Hyunjin that he should start treating you well if he didn't want the netizens to know about his treatment towards you. "Anyways, it's seriously not true."

-----------

A few minutes later and the event was finally finished and the group was bidding their goodbyes to their fans as they started to walk backstage. You waited for them at their waiting room with a handful of bottled waters for the boys to pick up once they get inside. The door soon opened revealing the group with a tense atmosphere following them that got you so confused. "Hey—"

"Hyunjin. If word gets out about your mistreatment to M/n, that would be a serious damage to our image and to M/n as well, 'cause he's obviously in pain because of you!" Chan yelled at the trouble causing male who only rolled his eyes paying no heed to his warning.

"Atleast, I never went too far as to really hurt him physically." Hyunjin deadpanned Chan growling at his response. Your eyes flickered to Hyunjin, then to Chan not knowing what to do in this situation.

"You are seriously being a jerk right now, Hyunjin." Chan fumed in anger while Hyunjin just continued to act deaf and played on his phone. Chan, giving up, sighed and plopped down on his seat. "Ayayay."

They took turns in getting your glances as you thought of a way to calm the atmosphere. You had already been their manager for a over a year now and this was the only time that Hyunjin ever spoke up to Chan and, to top it off, with sass and without the slightest feeling of being bothered. That was the moment you felt like you had enough. You've had enough with all these things. You were tired of yourself to even think that Hyunjin would finally soften up to you and be his friend. You were wrong to even apply for this kind of job. The group wouldn't be fighting if it hadn't been for you appearing in their lives all so suddenly. "Guys... let him do as he pleases. I'll be the one to take of whatever the netizens hear."

Chan raised his eyes up at you with furrowed brows. "What do you plan on doing? Whatever it is don't do it."

You smiled and nodded. "I won't, Chan." You held up the bottles in your hands and turned on a toothy smile. "Water? Anyone?" They all sighed in relief and got their turns in picking their own bottled water, the last one not being picked up by Hyunjin, so you decided to give it to him. You brought the cold drink to his face making him flinch as he looked up at you. "Thank you for the bread, by the way." You told him and giggled. "I've already packed your jacket in your bag." You informed him and patted his back.

The once crazily terrifying atmosphere now turned into a more comfortable one, the one you always would want to see. You didn't know what got you the courage to speak or blurt out whatever you had in your mind, but you looked at Hyunjin and said: "Hyunjin, can I talk to you privately?" Thankfully, their loud voices was able to distract themselves from hearing your request to Hyunjin who sighed and nodded his head. He stood up from his seat and started to move outside of the room. You followed behind closely, feeling intimidated by the month older's tall figure. "Hyunjin..."

"Cut to the chase, M/n. I don't have much time." He told you as you nod your head in understanding and fiddled with your fingers.

"I know, you'd probably like hearing this, but could I have the permission to quit as your group's manager?" You asked him, his forehead creasing that made him pull his brows together. "I was able to notice what the group had become the moment I became your manager—"

"And do you think quitting would change it?" Hyunjin asked you with a raised brow. "If anything, it'd probably—no, it would break their hearts to know that you quitted. If you do so, you're not only quitting as a manager, but as their friend as well."

"And you're able to say that after you purposely tried to have me fired or suspended from work by offering me that bread?" You sarcastically answered, Hyunjin clearing his throat.

"Well... that wasn't my intention. I didn't even know it'd get you fired." Hyunjin replied making you chuckle.

"Yeah..." You replied with a sad smile. "But, I don't wanna be the reason why you and Chan would always fight. Stray Kids is Stray Kids because they're fun and loving, caring. And I don't want to change that by being around the group." Hyunjin never replied anymore and you sighed. "I'm heading back now." You said and as you started to walk back inside, Hyunjin spoke.

"I wish you never entered our life, at all, M/n." He told you that got your heart broken into pieces. Sure, you admitted that he never liked you even just a bit, but him saying it so bluntly to you, it's like he does really mean it and could only care less. You were about to speak when Hyunjin beat you to it. "If so, I wouldn't be able to garner these undeniable feelings I have for you."

You froze. Were you hearing right? You just cleaned your ears this morning, well you do it everyday. Is your ear trying to play with you? "W-what?"

"DAMN! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?!" You gasped with your mouth full of popcorn, your boyfriend, Hyunjin seated beside you at the movie theater. He smiled at you admiring how cute you looked with your shocked expression that was being illuminated by the big screen. "Jinnie! Look, they're gonna kiss! AH!!" As the two actors in the movie was about to kiss, one of the movie's cast bursted out of the door cutting the kiss and earned a few 'oh's and 'I hate you, Chan's. "Chan is such a cock blocker."

"Watch your mouth, babe." Hyunjin told you making you pout.

"It's true, though!" You retorted and Hyunjin could only laugh at your cuteness and honest opinions.

#hwang hyunjin x male reader #bottom male reader #x male reader #bxb #male reader #idol x male reader #kpop #fanfiction #stray kids x male reader #skz x male reader #stray kids #boy group #angsty #skz #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin

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uvobreakmylegs · 3 years

Text

Haze

i saw a meme and it made me want to write a Morel piece. then @ramwrites suggested making him a banshee and i loved it

i have definitely bastardized banshee lore but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for a story

Warnings: manipulation, mentions of death

A hiking trip up to a nearby mountain trail had been on a list of things to do for you and your friend group for a while. Your friend Denali had suggested it, and she assured you all that it wouldn't be anything too difficult; it was just a beginner's trail that would consist of a few hours of walking up the trail and back. And then maybe you all could grab some food after.

You were pretty excited for it, as the idea sounded refreshing to you. Another thing that added to the anticipation of the hike was the fact that it had also been a little while since everyone in the friend group had been able to hang out together.

Or more accurately, it had been a while since you were able to make it to one of these friend meetups.

Some kind of bad luck had been plaguing you recently; the last few times an outing for the four of you had been planned, something unexpected came up for you and you needed to cancel last minute. Be it work obligations, family emergencies or just you getting sick the night before, it had been a while since you hung out with them like you once had.

Aiden, Denali and Colton all seemed to take it well, but you swore you could sense a growing annoyance in them. They seemed to be shorter with you in texts, and there had been a few times now that you'd sent a picture or said something in the group chat and it had been ignored. You worried that they were starting to think you were making up excuses instead of genuinely being unable to see them, but every time you tried to talk with them privately, they told you that there wasn't anything wrong and that you were just overreacting.

That hadn't made you feel any better. You just felt like a bad friend.

But today would be different.

You made a point to ensure that you had the day completely cleared for the hike, getting the day off from your work well in advance and doing your best to stay away from anything that might make you sick. The morning of your friends had all confirmed that it was still on, and after a little while they were going to rendezvous at your place to pick you up before you all headed out to the trail.

Things were going to be different today, and you were excited for it.

And things were different.

But maybe not in a way that you had expected.

You didn't notice the second car that had pulled up behind Denali's initially when they stopped outside your place. You only noticed that something was different when you approached Denali's car and noticed that one of the seats in the back had been taken up by a pile of backpacks, leaving no room for you.

When Aiden stepped out of the first car as you came out to greet him, he explained the situation. Without your knowledge, Aiden had invited someone from his work, a woman named Fawn. Evidently during those times when you couldn't make it, your friends had been hanging out with her a lot, and they had figured that she should be invited on this trip as well.

That they were hanging out with other people didn't upset you; they had every right to spend their time with people that were able to show up. But you felt slightly hurt that you hadn't been asked or even given a heads-up that this was happening. You had been anticipating spending time with your old friend group for this trip and instead you would be trying to reconnect while also navigating a new group dynamic.

But you decided not to say anything about it. You just nodded and smiled when Aiden told you that you'd be riding with Fawn in her car. Although it was unexpected, you told yourself that new people wasn't necessarily a bad thing. You could probably make good friends with her while also berating yourself for your first reaction to her being disappointment. That sort of attitude was no good.

Despite all of that, you quickly came to feel that you didn't like Fawn very much.

For one thing, the woman was one of the most reckless drivers you had ever come across. Virtually blowing through stop signs, running several lights and swerving around drivers that she felt weren't going fast enough, there were several times during the trip that you felt she was going to cause an accident. She also passed by Denali's car for some reason, and when you asked her why, she said she thought it would be fun to see who could get to the mountain first. You didn't agree, but there was literally nothing you could do but hold onto the inside of the passenger side door for dear life. The motion sickness you'd gotten was so bad that by the time you made it to the parking lot next to the hiking trail, you'd needed to lean against the side of her car and take in deep breaths in an attempt to not throw up your breakfast.

At least she seemed pretty apologetic when she saw you like that, and she offered you a bottle of water which you gladly took. But the second Denali's car pulled up she seemed to switch her focus to that completely, going up to the rest of the group to greet them. She had something of a one-track mind, it seemed. It didn't make her a bad person, but you still wanted a bit of distance for now.

After recovering and making sure you had everything you needed in your backpack, you approached Aiden while the others were getting ready.

“Hey,” you said, “you think you and I could switch places for the car ride back?”

“Oh c'mon, it couldn't have been that bad,” he said, “you'll hurt her feelings if you do that. She really wants to know you.”

Fawn walked up right after, and since you weren't willing to criticize her driving right in front of her, you dropped it.

Meanwhile the mountain loomed above all of you. Tall and imposing with a rather dense white fog that almost obscured the very top of it. There were parts that were heavily forested, and you briefly wondered if you would need to worry about anything like bears or some other kind of large wild animal.

“How far up are we going?” you asked Denali.

“Not too far. We'll be sticking to the marked trail; there's a cool little observation deck at the end of it,” she told you, “I figure we'll head towards that and then come back the same way.”

You nodded, but before you could give any real response Colton called her over for something, and she left to help him. Aiden and Fawn were chatting about something, so you stood silent and at the ready, looking up once more at the mountain.

Despite the distance, you swore you saw something moving. You wanted to say it was some large kind of four-legged creature, though it was impossible to tell what exactly it was.

“Are there bears on the mountain?” you asked aloud.

“Nah.”

That was all the response you got.

For about ten minutes after the hike started, Fawn had stayed at the back with you, asking you some basic questions about yourself that you would in turn ask her once you had answered. You hoped that the interaction wasn't as awkward as it had felt to you. Maybe it was but she also didn't want to say anything about it.

Then when your group came across an old, crumbling well, Fawn had run up towards Aiden to get some better pictures of the structure, and when the group began to move again, she chose to stay there next to him.

Denali had taken the lead with Colton right behind. They were talking, though what they were talking about you couldn't be sure as you only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. A few steps behind them were Aiden and Fawn, talking about something that was going on at their workplace. And a few steps behind those two was you, trailing behind the group and unable to join either conversation. Although Aiden had said that Fawn wanted to know you, she hadn't said much of substance to you before she turned her attention back to him. Although maybe that was your fault. Maybe it really was obvious that you didn't care for her much. You thought that you were doing a decent job at being polite, but maybe she could tell that you were still a bit annoyed about her driving earlier.

Or maybe she just wanted to talk to Aiden right now and you were overreacting again.

You weren't sure.

It just felt like you were being excluded.

Of course. The first time in forever that you were able to make it to a meet-up with them, and it felt like you weren't wanted.

You sighed to yourself as you walked behind silently, trying to tell yourself that it was unreasonable to be thinking like that and that you wouldn't have been invited if they didn't want you there. The hike had just started; you couldn't decide that the whole thing would be bad just because of a rough beginning.

At least for now you could enjoy the scenery, and you looked about the woods as you walked along the trail, noting the different types of trees and plants and just how many of them surrounded you as you walked by on the trail. You stopped now and then to take a few pictures with your phone. Although you could hear the distinct chirping of birds in the distance, you didn't manage to see any, and despite the movement you thought you had seen while in the parking lot, it didn't seem like there were any other animals in the area. Denali had said this was an easy trail; maybe people frequented it enough that most animals avoided any areas close to it. That was too bad, but not that big of a deal. At least you were still getting nice pictures of the forest.

Your group came across a wide set of wooden stairs with a wooden barrier on either side after a bit, beginning a steeper ascent towards the higher parts of the mountain. Nothing had really changed within the group, though you noted that the conversations had mostly died down in an effort to appreciate the nature around you. Colton was also frequently looking behind to make sure everyone was still there. The two of you managed to lock eyes at one point, and you smiled at him. He gave back something of a half-smile before looking back in front of him. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but you noted that he didn't look back after that.

The walk continued, and all of you were quiet now, looking about the scenery. Some of them occasionally made remarks whenever they spotted something unusual, like an oddly shaped tree trunk or rock. You stayed silent, though, remembering your messages that had gone ignored and worried that if you said anything, that would be ignored as well.

Were you being too anxious about this? Probably. You sighed to yourself again as you tried to keep those kinds of thoughts from running amok.

Just distract yourself by looking around, you told yourself.

You paused when you glanced over to your right.

It looked like there was some sort of stone pillar standing in the distance. The dark rock was covered in moss and vines, but the shape was such that it couldn't have been a natural formation. Someone human had put it there some time ago. It also looked as though there was similar wreckage behind the pillar, and you wondered if it may have once been some kind of building.

Taking out your phone and pulling up the camera, you zoomed in on the the ruined structure. You briefly glanced over to your friends as you did, making sure they weren't leaving you too far behind.

But when you looked back to the phone, you let out a small sound of surprise.

There was a man standing by the pillar.

Your eyes immediately went back to the pillar as you wondered where this guy had come from.

The shadows over in that area made things a bit darker, but you were able to see a general shape that looked like a person. You squinted slightly as you looked at him, trying to make out any details. But strangely, you couldn't. It was just the shape of a rather broad man, and as you continued to look, you found that it looked almost wispy, like a few pieces of cloud had floated down and arranged themselves to imitate what a person might look like.

…. Why did it feel like it was looking back at you?

“What are you doing?”

Aiden's voice called to you, and you snapped out of your stupor to find that the whole group was standing there waiting on you.

Your mouth fell open to try and offer some explanation, to tell them about what you were looking at, but when you glanced back to where the shape had been-

He wasn't there.

And when you looked back to the camera, you found he was gone from there as well.

Had you imagined it?

The entire thing had happened within mere seconds. The pillar wasn't large enough that he could be hiding behind it, and no one could move that fast without making some bit of noise. Looking between the view from your camera and the pillar a few more times, you decided that you had imagined it. Though you were certain you had seen something standing there, there was no way that could have actually been the case. Maybe a shadow just looked weird within the lighting at that moment?

Aiden called out to you again.

“Sorry!” you called out, putting the phone away as you hurried up the stairs to rejoin them.

“What you were looking at?” Fawn asked you.

“Something back there,” you explained, “ it looked like there were some ruins of a building.”

“Oh, did you get a picture? Can I see?”

“Ah, sorry, I didn't.”

Fawn pouted, asking “why not?”

“I thought I saw someone.”

They both looked at you strangely.

“You couldn't get a picture because you thought you saw someone?” Aiden asked.

“I don't know. It was just weird,” you said, getting a bit flustered as you continued “I thought I saw a guy for a second – or something that looked like a guy – but then he was gone.”

“... 'Something' that 'looked' like a guy,” Aiden repeated.

“Oh wow, I didn't know you could see ghosts!” Fawn exclaimed, giggling a little, “we've got a coworker who swears that the printer room is haunted. Maybe we should bring her here and see if she also sees something.”

…. You weren't sure if she was making fun of you or not, so you stayed silent. Aiden was still looking at you like you had two heads while Fawn was pulling out her own phone, preparing to walk back down to take a look at the ruins herself. Then Denali called out to the three of you, asking what the hold-up was. That was enough to spur you to begin walking again.

“Aw, I wanted to get a picture,” Fawn said as you began climbing the stairs once more.

Fawn then looked to Aiden as he said to her “we can always snap a picture on the way back.”

“That's true.”

“And did Nell say that the printer room was haunted? I thought she said it was the third floor bathroom,” Aiden then said.

“It could've been both. According to her a lot of places are haunted. Something about weird energies,” Fawn responded.

They were talking about something from their work again, and since you still had no way to join in, you walked behind them in silence. As your group continued the ascent, you glanced behind to see if there was anything weird with the pillar from this angle. There was a nagging feeling at the back of your mind, and you felt as if there was someone watching you.

There was nothing, and though the feeling wasn't going away, you told yourself to forget about it.

Time passed as the clouds parted some to show how the sun had moved higher in the sky, and your group came to a wooden platform with benches and tables that were clearly meant as a rest stop for any hikers. The others decided that it was a good time to have lunch and settled themselves at a table. You, on the other hand, were still feeling some side effects from Fawn's driving earlier, and as you really didn't want to get sick in the middle of the hike, you opted not to eat. You sat with them at first, but when you once again felt like you couldn't contribute to the conversation, you stood up, the amateur photographer in you feeling fulfilled somewhat as you snapped a few more pictures of the scenery.

You wandered over to a different part of the platform, leaning your elbows on the wooden fencing as you looked out at the forest.

At the beginning of your trip it had been fairly overcast, and only after you had started this excursion had the clouds thinned and allowed the sun to shine through. But just as the weather started to clear up, it seemed to be turning overcast again as a mist began to fall, seemingly sliding from the top of the mountain and through the thick forest of trees. Was rain a possibility? Maybe, and of course you hadn't brought anything with you if that did happen. You had made a point to bring a first aid kit in case either you or someone else got hurt, but nothing to protect you in case the weather turned bad.

A flash of white caught your eye while you were caught up in your thoughts.

Glancing to your left, you found yourself staring at a white rabbit.

It was nice to finally see some wildlife for the first time since this hike had started and at first glance it seemed perfectly normal. But the more you looked at it, the more.... Odd it seemed.

It was sitting upright facing away from you, not moving at all. That didn't seem quite normal, since you thought most rabbits were inclined to hunker down and try to blend in with their surroundings if they encountered something they thought was a threat. This one didn't seem to be hiding, it just sat still, and the more you looked, the more it didn't seem like it was even breathing. It also seemed strange to find a pure white rabbit up in the mountains. The color was striking against the earthly tones of the forest, and presumably that should've meant that it would have been easy prey for any natural predators that roamed the area. In fact, it didn't look the slightest bit dirty, making you wonder if it was someone's pet that had escaped.

And the more you looked at it, the more something about it just seemed to be off. Like it had some kind of weird energy to it.

And yet you felt an urge to get closer to it.

The instant you moved closer it reacted by twisting it's head around to face you, and you saw it's face for the first time.

Or rather, it's lack of one.

No eyes, no nose, no mouth, no sort of features whatsoever. It's face, and the rest of it for that matter, was completely blank, and it seemed less and less like a living creature the longer you looked at it.

You stared at it, unsure of how you were supposed to react to such a thing.

“The rabbit doesn't have a face,” you said aloud.

Your friends didn't hear you. In their defense, you hadn't spoken all that loudly.

When you moved again it bolted, vanishing behind surrounding tree trunks.

Follow it

Maybe it was because of the shock you felt at seeing that thing that you didn't even question the thought. You just climbed over the fencing and headed out in the same direction you had seen it run off to.

It wasn't long before you caught sight of it again, and once more you were struck by how odd this thing was. It was sitting up again, staring at you. Almost like it was waiting for you.

Did you really want to follow a faceless rabbit into the woods? Apparently you did, because when you got close again it ran off, and the process repeated itself as it began to lead you through the forest, taking you further and further away from the hiking trail and down an unmarked path. The rabbit never got too far before it would stop and wait for you to catch up, and it stayed still during the few times that you would pause for a break. It really was waiting for you, and somehow, it didn't seem like it was running in any random direction. More like it was leading you somewhere.

A haze had seemed to form in your mind. Somehow, none of this seemed questionable to you, that you were running off in pursuit of a white rabbit like a heroine from a Lewis Carroll book. Or at least some darker version of that tale given the rabbit's lack of a face which you still weren't able to make sense of. There was no reason for you to be running off of the trail like this, into terrain that you weren't familiar with, but every time you caught sight of the rabbit, something inside you told you that you needed to go after it.

You did just that for some time until the haze finally broke.

In the midst of your pursuit, you happened to step on a hollow, rotted log, and the wood was weak enough that when you put your weight on it, your foot went right through. You shrieked, stumbling forward as you desperately pulled your foot out. To add to your panic, there had been a fair amount of bugs living inside of the log, some of which had attached themselves to your shoe, and you kicked your foot out rapidly to get them off of you. They scattered, and you stumbled back before landing awkwardly on your ankle. Pain shot through you, and you fell against the trunk of a tree where you sank to the forest floor, one hand steadying yourself while the other was over your chest as you tried to calm yourself down.

What the hell am I doing?

The thought struck you. Why had you gone off the trail like this? And for some weird rabbit creature, of all things? What was the point of this excursion? What if you got hurt?

You put some weight on the foot that had gone through the log and you hissed as another sharp bolt of pain hit you.

Scratch that. You'd already managed to hurt yourself.

It seemed like your ankle was sprained. Clearly you had landed on it wrong after getting your foot out of the log.

Ah, this was the worst.

You gingerly removed your shoe and tried to get a look at the damage. It didn't look too bad yet, but there was definitely something wrong with it as you only felt pain every time you moved it. How fast does the swelling set in? At least you'd had the forethought of bringing a few rolls of elastic bandage wraps, though you felt like you'd need some help to get it properly wrapped.

Which meant you'd need to find your way back to your friends.

How far away were you from the trail by now? You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you had left them. It was all so strange, that you had gotten such extreme tunnel vision like that and had run off. And because of that, you had gotten hurt and would have a hard time making your way back, or else they would need to come in to find you.

They'd be upset with you, wouldn't they?

You probably wouldn't be able to continue the hike, and you were sure there'd be some resentment if this outing was cut short because of you. Maybe you could just wait at the rest area? They'd be coming down the same path when they came back, so maybe they could continue the hike and you could rest up and join them on the return trip. It'd be boring for you but then at least the trip wouldn't be a waste for them.

You sighed as you began to shimmy your shoe back onto your foot. Today was a bust. First the thing with Fawn, then the way it seemed like you were being ignored, and now this.

They hadn't even said anything when you jumped the fence to chase after the rabbit, had they? Not that you'd really been paying attention, so maybe they had, but they sure hadn't gone after you.

… Not that it was on them to look after you. You were an adult and therefore not their responsibility. It was wrong to think like that.

You sighed again.

Everything that had happened today really had been your own fault, huh? It was all you could do to hope nothing else bad would happen.

You remembered some old superstitious saying about bad things happening in threes. If that was true, then maybe your bad luck was over for the day.

Trying to get off of that particular train of thought, you looked about for something that could work as a walking stick, something strong enough to hold your weight for when you made your way back to the path.

A voice called out from far away, and when you paused to listen, you heard the voices of your friends calling out your name.

That was actually really good.

A new creeping fear was that you would be lost in the woods and have a hard time finding the path, but as long as they were calling out to you, you could use the sounds of their voices to find your way back. As you were about to push yourself to your feet, you allowed yourself to be a little hopeful, feeling that the bad things were done for the day.

You heard something then, as though something had dropped onto the ground next to you.

In an automatic response, you turned your head towards the sound and found a pipe laying atop the dirt and fallen leaves.

Had that been there earlier?

It was moderately sized, a black stem with a little bit of intricate gold detailing on either end, while the bowl at the end of the pipe was more of a darker bronze.

Wouldn't you have noticed this earlier? Or had you been that distracted when you'd been desperately shaking all of the bugs off of your foot?

Without really thinking about why you reached out to grab it as you wondered to yourself if there were still people these days who smoked using pipes.

It was warm when your fingers made contact, and as you raised it up to inspect it more, you noted how clean it was. If it had been out here for a day or so there would've been more dirt on it, but with the state it was in, someone must have dropped it not too long ago.

At least it gave you some comfort knowing that you weren't the only one who had wandered off the trail, though you were probably still one of the dumbest to do so since you had gone off in chase of a freaky rabbit.

Should you take the pipe with you? Was there some sort of lost and found box down at the parking lot? Would the person who lost it even still be looking for it, or would they have already accepted that it was gone forever?

With those thoughts swirling around your head, you didn't notice the sound of footsteps that came closer until they stopped right next to you.

“Are you alright?”

A man's voice broke you from your thoughts, and when you turned your gaze upwards, you found an older man standing above you, leaning an arm against the same tree trunk you were resting against. White hair, a gray dress shirt with a red tie and wearing black sunglasses despite the clouds overhead, he looked down at you with a clear look of concern on his face.

“Ah – yes! Well, mostly,” you said once you realized he was waiting for an answer.

“Mostly?”

“I think I sprained my ankle.”

He knelt down next to you, asking “may I?” as he motioned to your aforementioned ankle. You nodded, and he inspected your ankle. He was gentle with you, looking over the injured area carefully and apologizing any time he caused you some discomfort.

“How bad is it?” you asked him after a moment.

“I'd say you were right. It looks sprained.”

You groaned a little, disappointed that you were correct.

“Do you have anything to wrap it with?” he asked.

“Yeah, in my backpack,” you answered, “I was gonna get my friends to help me with it once I got back to them.”

“Where are they?”

“Back by the path, I think. It sounded like they were looking for me just now.”

However, you could no longer hear them. In fact, the whole forest seemed oddly silent now, the only exception being the wind that would at times whistle through the trees. And had it gotten darker?

“That's weird,” you said more to yourself, “I know I heard them.”

The man who sat patiently before you, with your ankle still in his care, looked about for any sign of your friends before he spoke again.

“Well, I'm here now,” he told you, “care if I patch you up instead?”

“Um, as long as it isn't too much trouble?”

He smiled at you.

“It's no trouble at all.”

Saying that it would be easier for him to work on you, the man carefully picked you up and moved you so that you sat on a nearby boulder, kneeling down in front of you again as he waited for you to fish out the bandages from your pack.

“I'm Morel, by the way.”

You gave him a small smile in return, introducing yourself as well as you handed off the bandages.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked as he began to wrap up your ankle.

“Hiking with friends.”

“I figured that much,” he said, grinning a little, “but the trail is a good distance from here. How did you end up off of it?”

“Ah....”

Despite the pain in your ankle and the circumstances between you and your friends, it hadn't been lost on you that Morel was pretty handsome. A bit rugged, but in a good way. And though you knew nothing about this man – for all you knew he had a wife and child at home waiting for him – you didn't want to say something that might make him think you were an idiot. Telling him that you had gone chasing after a rabbit would definitely make him think you were an idiot.

And you didn't want to mention that you thought it had no face. Then he'd think you were crazy.

“I saw some ruins down at the base of the mountain; thought it'd be cool if I went exploring and see if I could find some more,” you lied.

“Unfortunately, any ruins would be down at the bottom. Nobody would've built anything this far up,” Morel explained.

“Ah, I see.”

You stayed quiet a moment, looking back in the direction where you'd heard your friends calling. You still couldn't hear them, and it worried you that something may have happened.

There was also that white mist from earlier that had grown thicker while Morel wrapped your ankle, slowly settling down around you and making the scene around you look more ethereal.

“Why did you wander out on your own? One of them should've come with you,” Morel said suddenly.

“Oh.... I kinda, um, ran off without telling them anything.”

So much for not sounding like an idiot.

Morel paused, glancing back up at you as he asked “did something happen?”

“... Not really? I mean, kind of, but...” you trailed off for a moment, “it's mostly my fault. I'm the one who isn't trying hard enough to talk it out with them. Ah, I really hope I haven't ruined this trip.”

“I doubt you running off could've ruined it.”

“I hope not. But still, I'll need to apologize, maybe take all of them out for a meal after to make up for it,” you said.

There was a sad expression on Morel's face when he looked up at you after you said that. Something in the way he frowned and his brows furrowed at your words made it seem like he knew something you didn't.

You didn't get a chance to question him on it as he finished up wrapping your ankle, handing the remaining bandages back to you as he announced “all done.”

“Ah – Thank you.”

He seemed a bit more cheerful now, though he looked off in the direction you had been looking in.

“Those friends of your still on the trail?” he asked.

“I'm not sure? It really did sound like they were looking for me earlier.”

“I see. Then if they're looking for you maybe we should stay put. Wait for them to get to us. It won't do any good if we all get lost trying to find each other.”

That made sense, and you nodded.

Morel sat down next to you, the boulder being large enough to fit both of you, though he did need to squeeze in a bit closer than you would normally be comfortable with a complete stranger. You found that you didn't mind much, though. Although for the sake of your friend group you wanted to be found soon, you didn't dislike the idea of spending more time alone with Morel. He seemed trustworthy, and being in such close contact more than made up for all the stuff from earlier.

…. Good lord. Were you really this weak for a random guy you found attractive?

The mist seemed to be growing thicker, but you could still make out most of the trees that surrounded you.

“What are you doing up here, Morel?” you asked, “it doesn't look like you're dressed for hiking.”

“I live here.”

“Really? On the mountain?”

He nodded.

“Wow. I didn't know anybody lived up here. Is it just you or are there others?”

“There's a few of us up here, though my neighbors tend to keep to themselves,” he told you, “a lot of them just want to be left alone.”

It seemed surprising to you that there was more than one person who lived up on a mountain like this. Especially since you had been under the impression that the area was part of a park. Maybe his place had been built beforehand and he was grandfathered in somehow?

The more you thought about it, the more you felt that didn't make a lot of sense. But before you could voice that opinion, it was like the thought was forcibly torn from your mind, and something within you encouraged you to try and learn more about him.

“Are you one who wants to be left alone?” you asked him instead.

“For the most part,” he answered, “but I don't mind people on occasion. My neighbors, not so much.”

“Would they have gotten mad at me?”

“Definitely.”

“Guess I'm lucky you found me and not them,” you said.

He smiled at that, but didn't say anything, and you continued.

“Although if your neighbors want isolation, isn't it inconvenient that the trail's been set up here? Don't you have to worry about people trespassing?”

“Most people know not to go off the path,” Morel said, “though I guess you're not one of them.”

“It wasn't my fault!” you insisted, “there was a rabbit, and I just - I don't know, needed to follow it.”

Why had you done that again? You'd been questioning it before Morel found you but you'd gotten distracted. It was strange. And did the rabbit really have no face? Maybe your mind was just tired and had made it up or something and you just ran off because you were an idiot.

Where had it even gone, anyway?

Morel tilted his head, smirking at you.

“I thought you said you were looking for more ruins? You mean you were actually chasing after rabbits?” he asked.

….. You forgot that you lied.

Your fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt while you looked away in embarrassment.

“.... I didn't want you to think I was stupid,” you mumbled.

He laughed at that, and you felt worse about your lie, turning your head away further as you made a point to not look at him.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean it,” he said, one of his hands coming up to playfully tousle your hair. You glanced back at him then, and the sour look on your face lessened a little when you saw how he smiled at you.

“I've also gone off wandering after random things,” he continued, “I've hurt myself a few times, too, so don't feel bad.”

That made you feel a bit better, and you relaxed a little more.

“What kind of things have you gone wandering after?” you asked him.

“Things that you probably wouldn't believe if I told you.”

That answer was oddly cryptic, though you supposed that made two of you, since you were still too nervous to divulge the fact about the rabbit lacking a face. Maybe Morel had seen freakier things up here. But since he didn't seem to want to go into that, maybe it'd be better to steer the conversation away from the potentially supernatural.

“Were you wandering after something when you found me?” was your next question.

“No, not today. I was in the middle of looking for something I had lost.”

“Oh. Sorry,” you said.

“For what?”

“Distracting you, and making you wait here with me.”

“It's not that important,” Morel said, “and what kind of guy would I be if I left you out here by yourself? Especially with that fog that's settling in.”

“I'd probably be okay. Oh. Unless there's bears. Then I might not be.”

You remembered the shape you had seen when you had first arrived, and you asked him “are there bears on this mountain?”

“I've never seen any.”

You hummed at that, thinking again about what you had seen and trying to figure out what it was.

“Did you see one?” asked Morel.

“I don't know. I saw something weird when I was in the parking lot, and I'm still not sure what it was,” you explained, “I've seen some other stuff, too. Some a bit more freaky than a bear.”

“Like what?”

“.... Do you promise not to laugh at me?”

“I promise, I'm done laughing at you,” Morel said, grinning a little.

Despite being unsure if you could trust him in that regard, you decided to speak anyway.

“So, the rabbit that I saw earlier – I'm not really sure why I followed it, but I noticed it back at the rest area. It seemed kinda weird when I saw it, because it didn't look like it was breathing? And when I got closer, I swear, it didn't have a face. No features at all. It was just blank.”

You prepared yourself for him to laugh at you again. When he didn't say anything, you looked back to him.

Morel looked surprisingly neutral.

“That does sound strange,” was his reply.

“.... Do you believe me?”

Morel looked away from you, leaning back on his hands as his gaze seemed to go to the cloudy sky above the trees that surrounded the two of you.

“You know, I think I do. Living up here, I've had my fair share of strange occurrences. Not quite like that, but maybe I just haven't encountered that before.”

It was a relief to hear that he wasn't mocking you, and it was even more of a relief that he actually believed you, as you had been worried that his reaction might resemble what had happened earlier with Aiden and Fawn. Him believing you spurred you to speak more.

“I saw something before, too,” you said, “down near the ruins, at one point I thought I saw a man standing next to them. But when I looked up from my camera he was gone.”

“What did he look like?”

“Not sure. I saw him, but I somehow didn't really see him? Or I just saw his general shape,” you continued, “the others were joking that it was a ghost.”

“Could've been,” said Morel, “this is ancient land with a lot of older things attached to it. There are probably more than a few wayward souls that have found a home here.”

“..... Do you think they could be dangerous?” you asked him.

“Maybe some of them. But most people should be safe if they stay on the path.”

He grinned again when he looked back at you.

“Who knows. You could've come across something bad,” he said jokingly.

“Don't you and your neighbors live up here? It can't be all that bad if that's the case,” you responded, “though I think I'll try to keep from chasing after anymore weird rabbits.”

“Probably a good idea.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you. The mist had expanded as you continued to wait for your friends, who you hadn't heard in some time now. It should've worried you more that you couldn't hear them – they hadn't given up on you, had they? Even if they were really annoyed with you they surely wouldn't go that far. Yet you found yourself thinking even if that was the case, it would be okay. Morel was so nice, he wouldn't just leave you here if they didn't show up, right? At the very least, he'd take you back to the trail.

If your friends had bailed on you, then maybe you should repay him by taking him out to dinner.

The tops of the trees were slowly becoming more obscured as the fog continued to drift down, and all you could think was that it looked pretty.

“Is it nice living up here?” you asked him.

“Yeah, pretty nice. Lots of good scenery.”

He seemed to be thinking about something, and you noticed that his shoulders sagged slightly.

“Being completely alone can get to you, though.”

There was a sadness in his voice. He did say that him wanting to be alone was just 'for the most part'. Unless that was a lie. What sort of circumstance could drive him to be living alone in the wilderness if he didn't actually want to be here? You wanted to know, but worried that might be crossing a boundary of some sort, and that made you hesitate to question him further.

“Do you not want to be here?” you asked him softly.

“No, I do,” said Morel, “but I also liked being around people. It just became hard to be around them after a while.”

“Hard to be around them?” you repeated.

“Yeah. It's.... It's just tough to explain,” he said.

“Sorry.”

He shook his head.

“Don't worry about it.”

It confused you, and while you wanted to ask a few more questions, you got a sense that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

You found yourself wondering if Morel suffered from some extreme form of anxiety or agoraphobia. He seemed like a pretty calm person, but maybe that was only because he was in an environment where he was comfortable. That could have made sense, although you mentally berated yourself shortly after for jumping to conclusions like that just because he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe you should try to move the topic to something else.

“Does anyone come up to visit you?” you asked.

“No.”

Ah. Okay then.

“Then...” you trailed off briefly as you tried to find the right words, “ as long as it isn't too hard to be around me, would you care if I came back to visit you? I could repay you with all you've done for me with a dinner. Maybe bring it by next week or something like that?”

Morel smiled at that, and yet to you it seemed forced. You got another sense that he knew something that you didn't, and that he was intentionally keeping that information from you.

What would he know that he'd be keeping from you?

The thought left your head just as quickly as it entered when he spoke again.

“I guess I could handle having you stop by,” he said jokingly, “you're pretty tolerable.”

“Ah, that's good. Glad to know I can at least be tolerated,” you answered back in a similar joking manner.

He chuckled at that.

“All jokes aside, it'll be nice to have some company up here,” he said softly.

It felt good that he accepted you so easily. Maybe he accepted you a little too easily given the short amount of time he had known you, but if he was living up here all by himself maybe he was just that desperate.

And the argument could also be made that you were similarly being too trusting of him. It was possible that this was just a facade of his that would drop the instant you were vulnerable. That'd probably be what Colton would tell you if he knew the thoughts going around your head.

Although you were already pretty vulnerable, weren't you? Alone in the wilderness with a man you just met and a sprained ankle, so you weren't even able to run if you needed to. Even with your friends that were hopefully close by, with Morel's size it would've been easy enough for him to drag you off if he wanted. Helping you, sitting down and waiting with you for your friends just to gain your trust seemed to be a bit too much effort if his ultimate goal was to take you away.

You forced down those silly, anxious thoughts of yours. Morel wouldn't hurt you, you were certain of it.

The mist around the two of you was growing thicker still, but you didn't pay it much mind as you looked back down to your lap.

Something was sticking out of the front pocket of your jacket, and then you remembered that you still had that pipe you had found this whole time, having absentmindedly stuck it into your pocket when Morel moved you earlier. A thought then occurred to you as you looked at it again.

“This wouldn't be yours, would it?” you asked him as you pulled it out to show him.

Looking down at it, you noted that he didn't seem too surprised as he said to you “it would, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That's what I was looking for when I came across you,” Morel said.

“Huh. That's some weird coincidence,” you said as you extended your hand out to give him the pipe.

“It happens,” he said. He thanked you as he took it from you, pocketing it before his hands went back to where they had been before.

There was no urgency within you as you continued to sit with Morel, the mist still swirling and settling around the two of you. The more the mist grew, the more the thoughts of your friends and the worries within you began to slip away.

You had nothing to worry about.

Had you been paying more attention to him, you would've seen Morel stiffen ever so slightly, maybe even heard him curse under his breath as he sensed something that was now in the general vicinity. But you only noticed when he stood up suddenly, hands on his hips as he turned to face you.

“Hate to say it, but this fog'll probably only get worse. I'm not sure it's a good idea to keep waiting here,” he told you.

It had seemed to become exponentially worse as soon as he spoke those words, the fog that had been fairly moderate now surprisingly thick, to the point that you had a hard time making out the trees that were closest to you. Somehow you hadn't noticed just how bad it was until now.

“Ah. Yeah, you're right,” you said, “I think I remember which direction the trail is in. I should be able to make it back on my own.”

“What – no, that's not...”

Morel was rather flustered now, a hand running through his hair as he continued “even if you can make it back there, I doubt you'll have an easy time going down those stairs with your ankle like that. And with how hard it is to see right now, there's a 100% chance that you'll end up falling.”

You nodded, though you weren't certain where he was going. It seemed like a lot to ask him to walk you back in such circumstances, and far, far too much to have him take you back down the mountain.

“Since we're not sure what happened with your friends, I think the best thing I can do is take you back to my place for the time being.”

That hadn't been what you were expecting, and you opened your mouth to second-guess that idea until he spoke again.

“Just until the fog clears,” he assured you, “and this way you can get some actual rest inside instead of sitting out in the cold like this.”

… Morel's proposal seemed a lot nicer, you had to admit.

“I guess,” you began, “as long as you're sure it isn't too much trouble.”

He smiled at you as he said “I promise, it isn't.”

Any worries that this may be overstepping some kind of boundary faded from your mind after his reassurance, and you looked about the forest again.

“I guess we should try to find something for me to use as a walking stick,” you said, squinting your eyes when the fog proved to be too thick to see clearly, “unless you're okay with me leaning on you.”

“I've got a better idea.”

With that, Morel turned around and knelt down, his arms stretched out behind his back as he said “I'll carry you.”

After assuring you that this way would be faster, it didn't take much for you to take him up on his offer. After you made sure not to put any weight on your ankle while you climbed onto his back, Morel slowly lifted you up after he had your legs secured around his waist and you loosely held on around his neck.

With the sensation of you being pressed against him, of your warmth and virtually feeling the way your heart was steadily beating against his back, Morel let out a quiet, relieved sigh as he began the trek back to his home. He was grateful that you hadn't questioned him or tried to insist that he take you back to the trail anyway. If he hadn't been able to convince you, he'd need to take you by force. Such a thing would have been easy for him to do, and it was probably more common for those like him to take their captured humans while they kicked and screamed.

But he didn't want to traumatize you during the journey to your new home.

Luckily his aura that had been slowly engulfing you was able to influence you enough that you weren't questioning him on much, so the trip would be a peaceful one, although it was marred by how dishonest he was being about all of this.

If only he could just sit you down and explain everything, why he was doing this. But he knew you wouldn't believe him.

No reasonable person would believe him if he told them he was a banshee.

Saying that would only make you feel unsafe, maybe try to run from him, and then you'd end up even more injured in the process, and even more upset when you found that you could no longer leave the mountain.

But even that would be better than the alternative.

Morel just didn't like seeing people die.

The role of a banshee was to warn when death was coming. To let out that unearthly wail so the human marked for death could prepare and make peace with their fate. For Morel, when he saw someone who was marked to die, it looked like a cloud had settled around them. An aura that grew darker and darker as the human came closer to the time of their death until the aura had blackened completely. Then Death came to collect that unfortunate's soul.

And Morel was unable to do anything but give a heads up.

It was depressing. Being part of that cycle, watching as human after human had that cloud around them turn black and vanish as it left their lifeless bodies behind. And during the last years he had spent in the heavily populated areas, he found that more and more people were panicking when they heard his warning as a fear of death had grown stronger as time had gone by. The people who feared for their lives did everything in their power to try and prevent their deaths, and more often than not their attempts to thwart death ended up being what caused it. All because they had heard his warning.

It began to feel as though he was the one responsible for those who had died that way, and that felt even more depressing, to know that they had died because of him. By the end, Morel had grown tired of it all.

So he left.

He left the areas that were overrun with humans and found a home on an ancient mountainside. And for a while, he found some peace.

But time moved forward as it always did, and evidently, people forgot what areas were meant to stay sacred when they put together the hiking trail. It had angered many of his neighbors, but most were compelled to stay away from it and leave the humans alone as long as they stayed on the path.

And yet some of them couldn't do that, and on occasion the ones that strayed would run into some of the more malevolent spirits that resided on the mountain alongside him. He could usually tell when someone would die to the supernatural. The aura about them just had a certain feel to it, but Morel chose to stay out of it completely, not wanting to cause problems with his neighbors.

Even after trying to get away, he was still forced to see that cloud of death.

It was no different when he saw you after you first arrived.

Morel had happened to be at the base of the mountain when he saw you, the death cloud around you one shade off of completely black. You'd be dead before the end of the day. Perhaps during your trip in the woods, he had thought to himself. Yet as he observed you more, he felt that wouldn't be the case. Something told him that you would make it through this hiking trip of yours, but you would die almost immediately after. You seemed pretty healthy, so illness didn't appear to be the cause. An accident, then? That would be more likely. While he couldn't determine what exactly was going to happen, whatever it was would be sudden and violent.

Looking at the rest of your group, he found that none of them were marked for death like you were. Whatever happened after you all left, you would be the only one to die.

Something compelled Morel to keep watch over you, and so he followed behind, listening in on the conversations your friends were having and waiting for you to speak up.

You weren't saying much, however, and when he moved off the trail to walk beside you so he could get a better look at your face, he was taken aback by how dejected you seemed.

Something was eating at you, but you were keeping quiet about it as you continued to follow behind, almost unnoticed by the others in your group.

Your last hours of life were going to be spent with you feeling ignored and lonely, and that depression Morel felt when it came to these things returned. You shouldn't need to die today; you should've had years left of your life, not a scant few hours. It wasn't right, but there was nothing he could do.

Or was there?

An idea came to Morel, and he became lost in his own thoughts as he found himself walking away from the trail as your group came closer to the stairs. He made his way towards what had been a chapel for some long-forgotten deity, mulling over the thought in his head.

There was something he could do to alter your fate, both him and the magic still in the mountain powerful enough to allow him to lay a claim on you. But was it worth angering Death itself to keep you safe?

As he contemplated what to do, he looked back to you.

You had taken your phone out, holding it in a way that made it clear you were aiming to get a picture of the ruins he just so happened to be standing next to.

It took less than a second for him to realize what had happened when you blinked in surprise and took your eyes off of your phone.

You could see him.

You may not have been aware of it, but your eyes met his in that moment. Based off how you looked him over, you weren't able to see him all that clearly, but he could still tell when your eyes met again as you tried to make out any features of his face.

Then one of the people from your group called out and you looked away, and Morel made himself vanish. The confusion was clear when your head turned back and found him to be gone, and you ended up following your group again with your brows furrowed.

It was something that happened on occasion with certain people, another confirmation that you were close to death: as your final hour drew near, the barrier between you and the spiritual realm was thinning and you were beginning to see things that you weren't meant to.

When you looked back one more time, you managed to look in the exact spot where he had been standing, though this time he made sure you couldn't see him. He felt the way your eyes met his again before you turned your head back, that black cloud of death still engulfing you.

Something about your situation and that sight made Morel snap.

Screw fate. He needed to save you.

As he made his decision and began to follow you in earnest, a part of him was aware that saving you wouldn't do anything for the countless people that died every day, but he felt that if he could save at least one person from an unfair and untimely death, he could live better with himself. If he could keep you alive and happy, it was worth it.

He'd been worried that luring you away with the rabbit wouldn't work. You were far enough along that you could see it for what it really was: a creation that he'd made out of mist and smoke. Yet during the time you had spent getting up to the rest area, he had expanded his aura around you for long enough that any reservations you may have had about the slightly horrifying thing before you were easily pushed to the side as he compelled you to go after his creation, to get you further into the woods and by yourself.

He hadn't planned on you getting injured in the process, and when he heard your friends calling for you sooner than he expected he threw his pipe next to you in an act of desperation and just hoped that you would grab it. As long as you picked up something that belonged to him of your own free will, then you would belong to him.

You had done just that. And therefore, he was now free to do whatever he pleased with you.

“Is there a reason why we need to get to your place fast?” you asked him as he carried you back.

“You see how thick the fog is, right? I need to get us there before I lose my way,” Morel said, “can't embarrass myself like that, can I?”

Actually he just wanted to get out of there because of the other being that had been approaching the two of you. As much as he was able to hold influence over you, you would no doubt panic if you saw a headless woman sitting astride a horse casually come up to you.

“That makes sense,” you said. Then you giggled a little to yourself.

“I'm still mad that you laughed at me earlier,” you told him, “so if you do get lost, then I'm allowed to laugh at you.”

“Fair enough. If I get us lost you can laugh at me,” he agreed.

You laughed a little bit more.

“I won't actually do that. If we do get lost I'll probably be more concerned with trying to keep calm.”

“Don't worry; I know this mountain like the back of my hand,” he assured you.

If you had really been thinking about it, you might have questioned him on that. If he knew his way around that well, why couldn't he take you back to the trail? Why was he insisting on taking you back to his home?

But with the way his aura was enveloping you completely, no such thoughts came to mind, and you instead softly rested your head against him, feeling content.

You were rather easy to influence, and that fact made Morel feel badly for manipulating you the way he was.

He'd make it up to you, he told himself. He'd done good by wrapping up your ankle, and now he'd take care of you.

Glancing back at you, he felt satisfied to see that the black cloud of death had vanished. You no longer needed to fear anything like that.

You belonged to him now, and Morel would keep you safe for the rest of eternity.

#reader insert #morel x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere hxh #morel mackernasey #morel #yandere hunter x hunter #monster au

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