#what a fucking life! time for pizza

[battlesluts]

2017 -> 2024

Butchness is about becoming, lesbianism is about growth, life is about transitions.

Take up your space.

#yeah why not i haven't done a post like this in AGES #seven years man...whewie... #seven years since i CAME OUT and then. god i always knew. one of them tragic little girls crying in the mirror. #what a fucking life! time for pizza #girlslikeus #lesbiansafe #also just unfortunate that many of my old photos are gone.

[whynotimtired]

Thinking about how there was like half a day where mike knew it was requited....

#im not joking like what did he think about #how many things probably clicked in his head the second he knew will loved him #and the painting WAS for a crush but not ANGELA it was HIM which makes sense cause el said he was acting weird and will WAS acting weird #i bet he was like OH. HE WAS JEALOUS WHILE I WAS JEALOUS. OH #mike hasnt looked away from the painting once but hes gone over the past 3 years at least 7 times in his head kdndndnd #STOP KDBDBDBD THAT ONE MEME WITH THE TWO PEOPLE LOOKING OUT THE BUS WINDOWS #WILL MUFFLING HIS SOBS CAUSE HE JUST PUSHED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE TOWARDS HIS GF WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS #AND MIKE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE LOOKING AT THE PAINTING WITH HEARTS FLOATING AROUND HIS HEAD THINKING ABOUT HOW WILL LOVES HIM DKSNDNND #can we start getting au's where the pizza place went different and mike was never pushed off track #im waiting patiently. #byler #will byers #stranger things #byeler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #like what if mike got really bold cause when he finally knew will liked him there was nothing to be afraid of #like whats he gonna do?? reject him??? call him queer???? theres nothing to be afraid of!! #so mike is just like ok fuck it!! and starts flirting like crazy and will is like WHATS HAPPENING

[kittlyns]

Good evening girls. Made an absolute fool of myself @ the sams club today

#basically I was like let me go get snacks for the salon since my mom added me to her membership and I haven't really utilized it yet #got my snacks. was like okay let me get a slice of pizza! thatll be good #order my pizza. they tell me it'll be a 12 minute wait. I say that's fine!! and decide to put my snacks in the car while I wait #get out to my car. get all the snacks in. have one case of dr pepper left. haul it up. #one can fucking explodes and covers my light pink skirt in dr pepper viscera and gore #I now look like I've pissed myself #aight. well I already paid for my pizza so I gotta go back... #clean up as much as two napkins allow me to and head back in #ofc nobody cares but it feels like people are looking. whatever. so what if I pissed myself. grow up. #go to fill up my cup w dr pepper (despite the betrayal). no dr pepper. #dear god why. okay. uhhhhh starry???? i guess!! #take a sip. it tastes like shit. oh well. theyre calling my name now #go pick up my pizza. the cheese is nice and melty and it smells good. :) okay. life is still good! #halfway back to the exit I'm balancing my plate on my arm and and I'm holding the cup claw machine-style #the lid snaps off the fucking cup and it spills a good 1/2 cup (cooking measurements) onto the floor #oh my god why. why why why why why. #okay. we can fix this. it's not a ton. put my cup on table and do a cute little walk of shame back to the napkins #get like 50 napkins and do my goddamn best to clean up my mess. goes fine. okay. time to get the fuck outta here before I do something worse #back at my car. open door. holding cup like normal now. lid pops off again and spills all over my skirt a second time. #why the fuck is this happening to me. #out of rage I put my pizza in the car and dump the rest of the cup out on the pavement. tasted like shit anyways #lady in car next to me watches the whole thing. #yeah you're witnessing mental illness bitch. enjoy. #lost my appetite. pizza is good but I don't even want it now

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

Scarlet’s Guide to Rejecting an Unwanted Romantic Advance

Sorry folks, she always chooses (psychological) violence.

Letting this Scarlet AU escape containment was a mistake.

#my art #Regrowth AU #yes she's doing the fucking. condescending wonka meme #i am so sorry to zheng hua for being subjected to this last night #every other Scarlet AU is relatively soft and then there's just. This One #i laughed about it with friends before like #they're all soft rats and then #there's Her. the goddamn NYC pizza rat that'll swipe the food right off your plate #i swear i feel like i need people to sign waivers to interact with her or smth HDJDH #she's so much worse than i even let her be in public. the leash is very tight #she'd be so mean to people if i let her #but in-game nerfs me anyway because i can't describe what she's doing as well #anyway brb chucking her off a cliff (it's fine it's a diving spot) #i get very tempted to make an ask blog for Regrowth sometimes tbh #could be fun lol just depends on if i'd get enough interaction to make it work #pay her 50 gold to roast you (literally and figuratively) #ANYWAY #DISCLAIMER: do not follow Scarlet's advice ever it's always bad #time to set this down and run away because i wasted my life drawing it

[imwritesometimes]

got a bad case of 'too much going on brain overloaded body shutting down completely' today ✌️🥴

#I'm just sitting here at 12:30 in the afternoon in my jimjams still like #what the fuck? #I'm immobilized by the sheer what the fuckitude my life has been the last 72 hours #I have to go buy frozen pizza later and bring it home and immediately cook it #and we have to eat it ALL cause there is no where to put left overs #and we have to figure out how to live like this for basically a whole week #idk if I'm gonna be able to make this stupid fuckin meeting I have Wednesday cause I'm just so like #fuckin drained mentally and idk if I'm gonna be better then cause we still won't have a fridge #asshole next door wants to know if we want to kick in $200 TODAY and get our trees trimmed by some service he has out today #and my brother was like bro just. no. not a good a time. leave. our fridge died. you need to LEAVE. #motherfucker like I care if my tree drops leaves into your yard this is nature go live in a bubble #have fun cutting all your own trees down tho! idiot. mine are staying. so much shade! and habitats for critters #I am mentally fried bro #erin explains it all

[linguenuvolose]

The range of emotions a girl can feel….

#it’s the emotionally full but at the same time emotionally exhausted life style #yesterday I told Myrte fuck Italy so you know it was BAD #but then in the evening I had pizza and a beer and was like mmm maybe my thesis doesn’t suck #and today I’ve been a bit ??? and hmm and stressed and idk what I’m doing #so it’s all fun #snicksnack #thesis

[orcelito]

Trying out this new thing called "don't think about my life after tiring shifts" bc how I feel at these times does not reflect how I feel at the average moment & so it brings me more peace if I Don't Fucking Think About It

#speculation nation #bc it ends up just being a horrid cycle of 'i hate my fucking life' and 'i need to get out of here'. on repeat. #which Yea i fucking do need to get out of here lmao but i dont hate my life that much In General #in the average moment i do like this job. aka why im still here after everything. #thinking about it at times like this just fills me with hopeless despair & i do not enjoy that. #days like today are outliers. & now that it's over i wont have to worry about it for another year. #just gotta take my days as they come and not worry about it #& make sure i keep up with my fucking school work bc thats what's the fucking hold up at the end of it all #someday i will graduate. and i will finally move onto greener pastures. #until then i refuse to stew in self pity. #and so i make a tumblr post about it instead of sleeping bc i still wanted to complain i guess lmao #negative/ #can you guys tell im tired lol. today fucking sucked. #couldve been worse! some parts were fun. but the bone deep exhaustion definitely overshadows that. #i got to eat dip n dots today tho. thats smth nice! #and also shitty bbq pizza. bc that's all they had left. i dont even LIKE bbq #the little bit i walked around was just long fucking lines and too loud of music. and lackluster pizza & breadsticks. #but it was food & it got me through. so like it's whatever in the end. #& i got to eat dip n dots. ive always loved those things. gotta count my blessings where they are... #anyways im going to sleep now for real this time. Good Night

[beardedhandstoadshark]

TIL that putting the oven on 230 °C, aka the temperature listed on the package for baking a frozen pizza, can apparently burn said oven from the inside.

Also while I’m writing this, it just made the loudest BONG noise ever.

Help.

#another day in the life of a toadshark #cooking fail #baking fail #internet tells me that’s 446F #I didn’t even put the pizza in yet #the package said to pre-hear before putting the pizza in (at that temperature) #this isn’t even the first time I made this pizza how did it only go so wrong NOW #also it smells pretty bad but not burnt bad? More like plastic bad? #which can’t really be the case since that’s all metal?? #and there was nothing inside- i checked #regardless the windows are wideee open #what the fuck #UPDATE: #turns out it’s because of detergent #because someone who shall not be named put it in and decided to walk out and disappear for multiple hours #without telling me beforehand #to maybe not use the oven that is frequently used to warm up frozen stuff #so apparently I ate pizza with detergent #it did not taste significantly different #but if this blog suddenly becomes inactive for a week this is the reason #(​or incredibly active it depends)

[havegaysex]

Why do I stay friends with people who just clearly don't care about me

#Personal #If you're going to buy a pizza for everyone it has to have at least half cheese like how we were just having a conversation about me being #Vegetarian and you get a whole pepperoni pizza and say it's for everyone like what the fuck #I mean this is someone who doesn't mask always so it's pretty clear how he feels about disabled lives but like what the hell man #He talks so much talk but when it actually comes time to show up he's such a massive failure #Man it's so funny that I'm not even talking about my dad with that previous tag #No I'm talking about another cisgender man in my life #He broke up with my best friend in a dumbass way #He still seeing the people who she started dating first and then they abandoned her when she was going through it #He acts like he can handle mental illness but he can't #I have been wanting to kill myself the past few days #And I'm not gonna kms but I'm so good at picking friends that make me want to do it more

[toastsnaffler]

this assay is so fucking fake......

#same one ive been working on for like 3 months. every other assay ive trained on took me a couple goes to get but ive done this one ~45x #and i keep getting 2 good runs and then 1 fail. which SUCKS bc i need 3 passes in a row to sign off on it #and its so sensitive that changing even tiny things like using a different brand same volume beaker. or a 0.5cm longer flea #anyway i had another 2 good runs this week so this was my 3rd but bc its a friday afternoon im tired as fuck and keep making dumb mistakes #like overstirring it + one of my samples leaked which is soooo embarrassing bc ive already had to ask for more before bc its taken me- #almost 50 fucking attempts already #anyway. hour and a half into prep and im at the most crucial time sensitive part which is pipetting thr enzyme into the substrate #and i manage to do it all w even time spacing (u have to replicate the exact same pace at the end of the timer or it doesnt work) #and then realise id picked up a different identical model pipette that was set to half the volume i was meant to put in FUUUUCK #by that point i was like fuck it im almost 2 hours in and nothing else to do the rest of the day. so ill work around it + see what happens #i figured well its half the volume. so if i add the same half volume again at the 5 minute mark and leave it for 12.5 instead of 10 mins #then itll hydrolyse the substrate to the same degree. IN THEORY in practice this stuff never works bc of error margins etc #bearing in mind this js like 30 seconds of thought bc it took me a couple mins to realise what i did #but the thing abt working in a lab is u make these split second decisions constantly bc everything is so time sensitive #so u have to be quick thinking on ur feet #anyway long story short got to the end of the 3 hour process. which i was carrying out v sloppily bc the chances of it working were- #slim by that point lmao. but lo and behold it was completely fucking fine. all cvs less than 5% and averages <5% of spec #which is awesome bc it means after THREE MONTHS and like. 45x3 whats that AT LEAST 135 HOURS OF FOCUSED TIME ON IT #not counting attempts i gave up on halfway thru bc id alreaady fucked them up bad #i can FINALLY sign off on it lmfao. but im just so mad like why does it play these mind games with me. it shouldnt have worked #whatever chemistry is such a fickle stupid science. anyway wahoo weekend time baby #gorgeous weather here + im gonna get pizza on the way home...... maybe life doesnt suck sometimes 😇 #mutuals if ur still at work stay strong soldiers #.diaries

[odinsblog]

“One weird, silver lining positive from the WGA's strike has been a sense of calm over a reality that has plagued me with anxiety for years — the fact that despite having a great agent, manager, and lawyer, despite having been in hundreds of rooms with top execs and producers, despite having pitched countless networks, and despite having sold multiple pilots and pitches, I still work in food and bev. For so long, it felt like such an embarrassment in so many ways because it felt like I was the only one who was biding time in between sales with a side hustle. When I would tell people at work that I wrote television, they'd look at me like I had ten heads, or like I was delusional. They couldn't IMAGINE someone who *actually* wrote television would also be asking them what temp they wanted their salmon.

But the reality is, TV money goes fast, especially when it's just a pilot sale. And if shit doesn't get picked up to series, that money only lasts for so long. Being responsible meant swallowing my pride and keeping a job that was more consistent and steady but also gave me the ability to take pitch meetings, to write on my down time, do rewrites, answer e-mails, and take notes calls.

And for so long I thought I was a minority in that regard. Like I had done something wrong to not be successful enough to rely solely on my career as a writer.

Yet the strike has pushed SO many stories to the forefront of writers doing the exact same thing I've done, GOOD writers, great writers, writers who shit I watch all the time, whose names I instantly recognize, whose reputations in this industry precede them. So when the studios leaked that the goal was to bleed writers dry, to make it so we lost our homes, I had to laugh. Writers like me will literally do anything to keep the dream of writing alive. It's in us. It never goes away, no matter how many steaks you server, how many martinis you mix, how many cold calls you make, how many Uber passengers you pick up, how many pizzas you have to deliver. We always always always find a way to make it to that next great hope of a pitch, a sale, a green light.

And that's how you know that the CEOs are so fucking out of touch with reality. With the industry. With the POINT of the industry the point for most (not all, but most) has never been to be filthy rich, or own a yacht, or even have a membership to SoHo house. It's been to make something we love. To see it come to life, and make other people happy, or sad, or angry, or scared. To take this story you have kicking around your head and turn it into some epic journey. To be part of the process of making worlds and characters come to life. To tell stories.

The CEO's point has been to make as much money as humanly possible. And so they think that's all there is motivating writers. it's not. It never has been. Just because those CEO's wouldn't wait tables or mix drinks or drive a Lyft in order to keep a dream going, doesn't mean the rest of us wouldn't. The CEO's don't have a dream, they have a lifestyle. And I promise you a dream is a much better motivator than a yacht or a Porsche.

Try to bleed us dry, guys. Just because you'd let your own dream bleed to death, doesn't mean we would. We will always find a way to keep it alive.”

—Stefanie Williams, a tv writer on strike

#hollywood #writers strike #corporate greed #bob iger #disney #living wages #wga strong #sag aftra #writers #writing #dreams

[gothicprep]

i've been meaning to write something for a while now about how misinformation is not a partisan issue, it's just an issue in general. i was mulling over writing something about how infowars waterboards statistics into saying whatever alex jones wants – i'll still probably do that in the future – but it's not something that exactly supports my thesis here.

but, lucky me, i had a perfect example fall into my lap this week.

so, was andrew tate taken into custody over twitter beef with greta thunberg? the short answer is "no" but i'll elaborate.

here's the primary romanian news report about the cops taking the tate brothers into custody. the way that this has been reported in US news media has basically been that a pizza box in andrew tate's video response to thunberg helped romanian authorities confirm his location. here's a daily beast article that insinuates this:

In a video rant he uploaded to Twitter, in which he smoked a cigar and tried to brush off the online spat, he unwittingly displayed a pizza box from a local pizza chain—alerting authorities looking for him to his presence in the country.

here's the problem with that, though – none of the romanian journalists who reported on this story said anything about the pizza box thing. there's also a huge problem with these stories just... citing each other.

if you dig through the citation loop long enough, you end on this daily star article that cites tweets (jurnelism!) from, of course, alejandra caraballo

According to Alejandra Caraballo, a writer and clinical instructor posting on Twitter: “Romanian authorities needed proof that Andrew Tate was in the country so they reportedly used his social media posts.

(as an aside, if you follow her on twt, i'd heavily recommend against doing that. she spews bullshit like her life depends on it and i think this is inexcusable.)

these are caraballo's tweets in question:

the source for this is the romanian article i linked to earlier in this post. it doesn't say any of this. at least, the english translated version of it doesn't. for what it's worth, i'm not a romanian speaker, and i don't have any benchmark for judging if google's translation service is missing linguistic nuances. here's what it actually says:

Sources close to the investigation stated, for Gândul , that shortly after the completion of the computer expertise, the authorities waited for the right moment to catch the Tate brothers, who were always out of the country.

After seeing, including on social networks, that they were together in Romania, the DIICOT prosecutors mobilized the special troops of the Gendarmerie and descended, by force, on their villa in Pipera, but also on other addresses.

it's also probably worth pointing out that tate's villa was previously searched in april. while the article does say that social media was used to help confirm their location, it doesn't say anything about pizza boxes. and, like, given that tate is a prolific social media poster and was tweeting out videos of romania on sunday, i think it's safe to assume they had a wealth of other information to go off.

and if you don't want to take my word for it, nyt and wapo both reported that the spokesperson for the romanian prosecutor presiding over the case denied the pizza box thing:

Speculation online centered on whether a distinctive pizza box featured in one of Mr. Tate’s tweets to Ms. Thunberg had helped lead the authorities to him, but Ramona Bolla, a spokeswoman for the Directorate for the Investigation of Organized Crime and Terrorism, told The New York Times on Friday that that was not the case.

anyway, ain't it funny how caraballo's made the fuck up pizza tweet got 76 million views, 97k retweets, and 525k likes, while her appended correction got 78k views, 100 retweets, and 820 likes. her initial "source: my mind" tweet is still up. ain't. it. funny.

#tim heidecker rules for 2023 – NO MORE BULLSHIT!

[bratphilia]

overtime (m. schmidt x reader)

request: "Hey ! Just discovered your account and I love your writtings ! I was wondered if you could write a smut and romantic thing with mike ? I dont have any specific context and all its up to you ! <3"

note: ty sm for showing love to my work and for requesting!! i finally was able to write something actually sweet with mike for the first time lmao.

pairing: mike schmidt x reader

tags: small age gap, fingering, missionary

after putting abby to sleep, you fell asleep yourself in front of the tv. you couldn't help it! it was a long night of cooking spaghetti for abby (and ordering pizza, per her request), helping her build a fort, and coloring with her inside it. abby's a sweet kid, but babysitting has always tired you out in general. plus her older brother, your boss, started working the graveyard shift at his new job, so it would be unfeasible for you to not go to sleep during your time spent over there.

you woke up to the chair next to you being shifted in, and open your eyes to see mike sitting there, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. you feel embarrassed that you fell asleep on the job and quickly explain yourself. "i'm so sorry for falling asleep, i was just—"

he looks at you. "no need to apologize. i don't expect you to wait all night long for me."

awkward silence fills the air. well, that settles that. god, he's so cute, you think, even all stressed out and with bags under his eyes. he's also been nothing but kind to you since the two of you met. always concerned with how you're doing, how school is holding up, and just generally about your wellbeing. you try to do reciprocate as it's obvious mike doesn't have a lot of people in his life doing the same for him.

you're the first to break the silence. "uhm, there's leftover pizza in the fridge... you know, in case you want any..." you comment, not quite sure what else to say to him.

"oh! thank you," he says. "did abby ask you to..."

"make her spaghetti and order pizza? yes, she absolutely did."

both you and mike laugh. "i'll make sure i can pay you back for that. you really didn't have to—"

"mike," you interrupt, "seriously, don't worry about it. i understand your situation and i want to help you."

mike looks at you gratefully, almost lovingly.

"y'know—"

"so, i should really—"

the both of you talk at the same time. "oh, sorry, you go."

you smile gently. "no, you go. i was just going to say i should hit the road."

he runs a hand through his hair again, eyes darting across the room bashfully. "well i — uh, i just wanted to say thank you for all you do for abby... and for me. it means a lot. you're very... kind."

your smile widens at his awkward choice of words, but it deeply touches you that he appreciates you. you place a hand on top of his. "of course, mike. i'm always here for you."

mike looks at your hand and inhales deeply through his nose. "will you — will you stay for just a little while longer?"

before you know it he's on top of you on the couch, slamming his middle and ring finger inside you while you bite back moans. "gotta be nice and quiet for me, sweetheart. can't wake abby up, okay? or else i gotta stop and neither of us want that," he whispers to you sweetly.

instead of letting you respond, mike presses his lips against yours in a deep kiss while he continues to finger you. you break apart to quietly call his name, letting him know that you're close.

much to your dismay, he pulls his fingers out before you can come. "mike, please," you whisper.

"please, what, honey?" he teases.

you squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve the tension in your core. "please fuck me already."

mike presses his forehead against yours, breathing sharply as he slowly pushes inside you, inch by inch. you bite your lip to keep yourself from crying out as your pussy swallows his hard length.

as he begins to move, he also clearly struggles to keep his noises to a minimum. as a solution, he envelopes you in a kiss as he moves inside you. his pace gradually increases from gentle to faster. the feeling is absolutely delicious.

he can feel your pussy spasming around him and his own dick pulsing too. he uses the hand caging you in on the couch to hold yours as he continues to fuck you.

"feel so good around me, baby," he whispers hotly. "you have no idea what you — ngh — do to me. every time i see you i always think about fucking you like this."

"mike," you moan quietly. his words only encouraged you.

his name becomes a whispered chant falling from your lips as he fucks you through your own orgasm. he's sure to pull out and come on your stomach while he pumps himself.

mike wipes the sweat off of his forehead and sits up so your legs lay over his lap. "sorry for pushing you into overtime," he jokes.

you give a small laugh. "no worries. it was my pleasure."

mike shakes his head at your dumb joke. then his smile fades and he looks at you seriously. "is it... too early to say that i love you?"

you lean up and meet his lips in a kiss as your answer.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf smut #fnaf movie #fnaf x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt smut #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader

[gimmethatagustd]

morals on sundays | myg

You're still in love with your ex-boyfriend. Yoongi offers some help to get over him.

○ Pairing: BFF!Yoongi x f!Reader

○ Rating: Explicit/18+

○ Genre: Friends with benefits, angst, smut, fluff

○ 6 / 100 Drabble Challenge (FWB)

○ Word Count: 2,177

○ Warnings: MC's boyfriend cheated on her, post-breakup blues, questionable decision making, fingering so good you'll try to run away from it, pussy eating, too much tongue sucking probably, Yoongi is a boob guy, they have matching Spongebob and Patrick coffee mugs so why aren't they married?? Idiots

○ Notes: Shout out to @sailoryooons for also writing about a daegu boy eating pussy tonight 😌 And, as usual, I wrote this with scrambled eggs for brains and didn't proofread it, so if you see any errors, no you didn't

○ Post Date: January 22, 2024

○ Masterlist | Send me ur thots

○ What was Jai listening to? Imported - Jessie Reyez ft. 6LACK

Lately, you’ve felt like disappearing – not into a crowded city street in another country or down an unlit dirt road into the unknown, but into the warm folds of Yoongi’s hoodie. You’re already halfway there, with your fingers interlaced with his, shoved into the large front pocket, and your face tucked into his shoulder. 

“Fuck, I hate taking the bus,” he curses, his words turning into a cloud that disappears into the cold air. 

“How much time do we have?” 

Yoongi turns his head, and his lips briefly touch the cold curve of your ear. 

“You’re mumbling. What’d you say?”

“How much time until it comes?” You squint up at him, cheek still pressed against his shoulder. It’s too warm here to want to move. 

“Can’t check the app on my phone unless you give me my hands.” 

“No.” 

Yoongi chuckles and jostles your head by bobbing his shoulders. 

“I thought our date would cheer you up.” His complaint is playful, eyes sparkling in the streetlights when he returns his gaze to the empty road. You should have gotten a taxi. 

“I’m gonna die alone. Doesn’t matter how much late-night pizza I eat or how many stupid action movies I watch,” you grumble into Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“Even when the action movie lead has a super hot sex scene that’s poorly timed and irrelevant to the plot?” 

“Nope.”

“Even when the coolest guy on the entire planet was the one who took you?” Yoongi smiles cheekily, his gaze back on you. He wiggles his shoulders again, hard enough to bounce your head. 

Annoyed, you straighten up, hands still shoved in his pockets. The movie wasn’t that bad. The pizza was actually great. You’re just depressed. 

“I didn’t think it would take this long…” You whisper into the little space between your body and Yoongi’s. He knows you aren’t talking about the bus. 

Yoongi squeezes your hands inside his hoodie. The rest of you might be freezing in the winter night air, but at least Yoongi keeps your hands warm. He keeps your heart warm, too, with his sincere gaze when he looks at you. 

“You were too good for him.” 

Yoongi’s right. He’s always right. 

You’re sufficiently frozen by the time the bus finally arrives. Yoongi pays for you both because he’s trying to make life easy. No bumps in the road, no unnecessary stress. He lets you sit in a window seat so you can stare out at the blurry night scenery and have your sad main character moment for as long as it takes to get to your apartment. 

Once you arrive, he follows you inside and heads straight to the kitchen while you slump down the hall to your bedroom. The cold seeps so deeply into your bones that the sweatpants and sweater you change into barely help increase your body temperature. 

Maybe it’s because the sweatpants and sweater are your ex-boyfriend’s, and the universe wants to keep your body as cold as his heart was. 

In the kitchen, Yoongi uses a wooden spoon to stir hot chocolate in a small pot, your favorite kind that comes in a block of chocolate that melts with milk. It’s likely been years since Yoongi has made you hot chocolate. Cozy winter nights indoors were once commonplace, the two of you alternating between apartments to make each other snacks and treat cuddles like currency. The appearance of your ex put an end to the comfort you shared with Yoongi. It put an end to most things that brought you comfort. 

As you expect, Yoongi has two mugs out on the counter. You reach for yours, twisting it in your hands as you wait for him to finish. 

“Remember when Spongebob tried to become best friends with Squidward instead of Patrick?” Yoongi asks, turning off the stove. He uses a ladle to pour hot chocolate into his pink mug, then pours some into your yellow one. 

“Yes.” 

“He was Squidward. I’m just mad I didn’t get to blow up his house–” Yoongi laughs and nearly spills his drink when you smack him in the arm, “–with bubbles! With bubbles. I’m not homicidal.” 

Rolling your eyes, you set down your mug next to Yoongi’s, both drinks too hot to drink quickly. 

“Thank you,” you mumble, hooking your finger into his hoodie pocket and tugging lightly, the action absentminded. You keep your eyes cast downward because you don’t want him to see your tears if they run. “I’m sorry I’ve been in such a shitty mood. I know it’s been a while, but, it just… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about him, and everything fucking hurts…” 

Yoongi slips his fingers under your sleeve and circles your wrist, pulling your hand away from his pocket so he can lace your fingers together. They’re so much warmer now, defrosted by the heat blasting through your apartment and Yoongi’s hot chocolate. 

“Maybe you could start by not wearing his clothes?” Yoongi offers quietly. “Can’t imagine it’s easy to get over someone when you keep them on your body like that.” 

You sniffle and nod. Again, Yoongi is always right. 

“Easier said than done…” you mumble, giving him a weak smile when you finally meet his eyes. There’s something there in his expression, something that seems different. 

You don’t move away when Yoongi steps closer, even when he has you backed against the counter, even when you feel like you’re going to swallow your heart. 

“I could take them off for you,” Yoongi says softly. He lets go of your sleeve to pinch the hem of your sweater, tugging it lightly. “If you can’t do it, I can.” 

“Yeah?” You feel out of breath, maybe because you suck in your stomach when Yoongi’s fingers brush against it. 

“Yeah,” he echoes, fingers sliding along your ribs as he pushes your sweater up. “So you can get over him.” 

It’s a terrible idea, but your stomach flutters when he looks at you with sleepy eyes weighed down by the late hour and lust. He bites his bottom lip, and you feel your resolve slip as easily as Yoongi’s fingers do beneath your clothes. 

“I want to.” The declaration is desperate, and for a moment, you can’t do anything but stare into Yoongi’s eyes with an all-consuming sadness that eats at your insides, gnawing on bones and biting holes into your lungs. “God, Yoongi, I want to.” 

Yoongi touches his forehead to yours, making you close your eyes because he’s too close and you’re too much of a coward. 

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers. His voice is as gentle as his hands on your bare waist, his thumbs caressing your sensitive skin. 

You raise your arms for Yoongi to pull off your sweater. He’s confident when he squeezes your tits, doesn’t even seem caught off guard when he realizes you’re not wearing anything under the sweater. He brushes his thumbs over your nipples as he leans in to kiss you, his tongue tasting sweet from the hot chocolate when he flicks it against yours. 

“Yoongi,” you call out with an airy sigh that harmonizes nicely with the sound of him sucking open-mouthed kisses down your neck. 

“Hmm?” Yoongi hums against the base of your throat, the vibration sending a tingling sensation straight to your clit. He keeps one hand on the counter beside your waist, caging you in, while his other hand cups your pussy over your sweatpants. 

“Oh,” you gasp, your hands immediately finding Yoongi’s firm shoulders when he starts rubbing your clit, occasionally dipping his fingers lower to press against your entrance, soaking the fabric. 

“These are his, too, right?” 

“Y-yes,” you moan as Yoongi pulls down your sweatpants, taking your underwear with them. 

You can’t say you never thought about how attractive Yoongi is; it’s hard to ignore. It’s just that Yoongi is your best friend. If anything were to happen between the two of you, you don’t know if you’d be able to survive losing him, too. You love him. 

But you also love your ex. 

It’s hard to think about that, though, with two of Yoongi’s fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. They’re long, reaching deeper than your own can when you finger yourself, always late at night when you’re lonely. It never feels good after. The clarity always seems to hit too quickly, like being dunked in a pool of ice water. 

Three months. That’s how long it’s been since another person touched you, since you found out your ex-boyfriend had been cheating on you. You didn’t realize how much you missed it until you’ve got your head thrown back and your thighs quivering as Yoongi fucks you with his fingers. You nearly climb up the counter, both wanting him to touch you more and trying to get away because it’s too good. 

Your ex never searched for the spot that would make your legs shake, but Yoongi does. He curls his fingers against your front wall and keeps up his rhythm, moving with your body when you can’t control where it goes. 

“Fuck, right there.” You’re burning up, veins turned to lava that’s rushing toward your core as Yoongi fucks you closer and closer to your orgasm until you’re on the verge of tears because you haven’t been touched in so long and you’re so lonely and you weren’t good enough. You weren’t enough. 

“Wanna make you cum,” Yoongi groans, deep and gravelly, between licking a stripe up your tits and sucking your nipples. 

“Please,” you moan, “Please, I’m so close.” 

Your arousal gushes around his fingers, slicking them up and making your pussy squelch when Yoongi flutters them inside you. He keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, almost too hard. It stops you from bucking your hips, but you can barely stand as it is. 

Yoongi’s lips are back on yours, red from sucking your nipples until it hurt. He whispers against your lips and opens his mouth to let you suck on his tongue with a pathetic whimper. 

“Not yet, though.” 

“Wha– Yoongi, no–” It’s embarrassing how loudly you cry out when Yoongi slips his fingers out of your pussy. You feel the fire in your core simmer until you’re left with a painfully throbbing clit and your juices smeared on your inner thighs. 

“Shhh, you know I always take care of you.” Yoongi shuts you up with a bite to your bottom lip. He leans down slightly to squeeze the backs of your thighs and hoist you up onto the counter. “Lean back.” 

The cold marble counter sends shivers across your body, but it can’t keep up with the heat of Yoongi’s mouth on your pussy. He kisses your lips so gently that you think you might actually cry before he pushes your thighs back, opening you up. 

“Oh fuck,” you moan as Yoongi goes straight for your clit, sucking on it as he swirls his tongue around it. You dig your hands into his hair and tug the strands hard enough to make him moan into your pussy. “Use your, use–” 

Yoongi laps at your clit in quick, consistent bursts that fall in line with the tempo he’s fucking you to with two fingers again. His free hand presses against your lower abdomen, keeping your body taunt so you don’t buck into his face or curl inward. It’s bad enough that you can’t stop your legs from shaking when one rests on his shoulder and the other drapes over the crook of his arm. 

It’s messy and loud, Yoongi licking and sucking your pussy like he really is trying to empty your mind of everything but the way the tip of his hot, wet tongue feels swirling your clit and the stretch of his fingers when he slips a third inside you and focuses on massaging the sensitive part of your walls. It’s working. He completely consumes your senses, down to how gorgeous he looks staring at you from between your thighs. 

Your Yoongi, fingerfucking you and sucking your clit like you’re his favorite meal. 

You try not to bang your head against the counter when you finally cum, instead focusing the overwhelming energy into pulling Yoongi’s hair to keep his face in your pussy.

He continues fucking you with his fingers through your orgasm, to the point that you can’t lie still any longer. 

“Yoongi, oh my god, Yoongi, it’s too much,” you whimper and gasp, thighs closing around his head until he finally eases his fingers out of you. 

Strings of your arousal connect his lips with your pussy until he swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, cutting them off. His bangs are pushed off his forehead and his hair sticks up from you pulling on it, but his eyes sparkle and his cheeks are just as rosy as his pink, slicked-up lips. 

“Shit,” Yoongi murmurs, leaning over you on the counter to kiss you. He shoves his tongue in your mouth and lets you suck your juices from it. 

You think you taste better on Yoongi’s tongue than on your ex’s. 

Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories. 

All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd​ - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here. 

@jooniesxbby @seokteoksworld @taegeum @dprmoon @chimmisbae

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi smut #bts smut #yoongi angst #bts angst #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #jai writes #gimmethatagustd #mos #100 drabble challenge

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: zoro

♡ liked by FRAAANKY, nicorobin and 2.2k others

_ynln: moments before disaster

tagged: theroronoa.zoro

blackleg.sanji: PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. ILL TREAT YOU BETTER THAN HE COULD EVER YN PLEASE. 🙏🙏😫😫

↳ lovenami: stop praying on their downfall

↳ sogekingg.usopp: ONG, yn is the only one who can keep zoro from getting lost. im not risking their breakup ☝️☝️

↳ theroronoa.zoro: @blackleg.sanji stay mad that u got no bitches

theroronoa.zoro: its not my fault you fell

↳ _ynln: bitch ive seen u deadlift a building 😐

↳ theroronoa.zoro: it is what it is 🥱

blackleg.sanji: scribble out his face my queen, he's ruining your beauty 😙😙

♡ liked by theroronoa.zoro, ilovecottoncandychopper and 3.4k others

_ynln: my boyfriend is the hottest

tagged: theroronoa.zoro

theroronoa.zoro: fan behaviour 🥱

↳ _ynln: nvm my bf sucks

sogekingg.usopp: DAMN BRO EVEN GOT ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY 🥵🥵

↳ FRAAANKY: VALIDDD HES BUILT 🫡

↳ _ynln: agreed 🫣🫣

↳ sogekingg.usopp: keeping the rest of us humble

↳ theroronoa.zoro: i hate you guys

♡ liked by ace, p1rateking_luffy and 1.9k others

_ynln: pizza bites are the loml 💞

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, blackleg.sanji

theroronoa.zoro: wtf when did this happen

↳ _ynln: when u locked me out so u could sleep

↳ theroronoa.zoro: you could've woken me up and we could've made pizza instead of u and that stupid cook

↳ _ynln: last time i woke u up, u almost three sword styled me 😭😭

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I was there too!! Thanks the invite yn 😁😁

↳ theroronoa.zoro: wait luffy was there too? was everyone but me hanging out with MY girlfriend?

↳ FRAAANKY: OMG ARE U GUYS ARGUING RN

↳ ilovecottoncandychopper: guyss please don't fight :((

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: fight

blackleg.sanji: WAKE ME UP ANYTIME TO MAKE MIDNIGHT SNACKS MY GODDESS YN 🧎🏼‍♂️🧎🏼‍♂️

↳ theroronoa.zoro: just so yk i reported this comment for harassment

theroronoa.zoro: how am i not the love of your life 🤨

↳ _ynln: tough, maybe cause u dont post me

↳ FRAAANKY: post her @theroronoazoro

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Post her @theroronoazoro

↳ sogekingg.usopp: post her @theroronoazoro

♡ liked by jinbe, _ynln and 4.5k others

theroronoa.zoro: my gf is the prettiest person in the world i love her. this is a yn dedication post.

slide 1: my gf waking me up after she found me on the streets.❤️‍🔥

slide 2: there's two cute things in this photo. my gf is cuter. ❤️‍🔥

slide 3: teaching my gf how to down booze. she's perfect. ❤️‍🔥

slide 4: my gf having fun at the gym waiting for me to finish my workout. ❤️‍🔥

tagged: _ynln

_ynln: zoro omg i love u sm 🥹💕💕

↳ theroronoa.zoro: ❤️

nicorobin: this is cute

blackleg.sanji: CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP

ilovecottoncandychopper: i love u two together 🙂

↳ _ynln: AWW CHOPPER <33

jinbe: i support this message

lovenami: first post in 8 months and it's his gf, who wants to jump onto the train tracks w me

p1rateking_luffy: yn's feet

↳ lovenami: do u think we can sell photos of them?

↳ _ynln: guys what the actual fuck

_ynln 17m

[_ynln] theroronoa.zoro replied to your story: love you

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece smau #one piece imagine #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #smau #kid x reader #sanji x reader #usopp x reader #zoro x y/n #zoro headcanons #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x y/n #one piece x you #one piece fluff #one piece scenario

[hailsatanacab]

Please explain the nuances of 🍕🐀

well when a pizza and a rat love each other very much

#they get turned into a meme #wow tho not seen the pizza rat meme referenced in a long while #what a simpler time #holy shit i just googled it and it was a meme in 2015????? 7 years ago??? #thats not right #fuck time #Wait #how long do rats live #oh shit wild rats dont typically live longer than a year #wow #rip nyc pizza rat at least you got to enjoy the biggest slice of pizza in your short short life #😔🖐 gone but not forgotten