#what if I grossly misjudged the characters

[hellolulu]

When it comes to the mp100 ageswap AU, the most interesting thing (for me, at least) is figuring out how exactly a storyline for it would work - after all, Mob growing up without Reigen would be a totally different guy, right? Well. I have a scenario that I made up in my brain, and I'm going to do my best to explain it below!

[Edit: this ended up being sort of a prologue/backstory, so I suppose.. it's a fic now? I tried to split the sections like chapters/episodes after accidentally writing too much but oh boy this is not what I set out to do]

---------------------

After hurting Ritsu accidentally as children, Mob becomes afraid of his own power, and anxious about using it. He also becomes awkward around others in general, as he cannot imagine being able to stop himself if he accidentally hits ??? and hurts them. Ritsu is upset and angry that Shigeo has decided not to use his powers anymore, and becomes a bit cold toward him for it, but they are friendly with each other for the most part. [This is pretty much unchanged]

During middle school, Shigeo decides to join the body improvement club in order to cast aside the need for most of his powers - if not all, by focusing on his physical body. As Musashi is a kind-hearted guy, the telepathy club is invited to use the room as a place to hang out, as they cannot exist as a club without a room. Mob, who struggles a lot with physical exercise, often ends up spending a fair amount of time around Tome and the others in the club. Although at first he's bitter and cold toward her for thinking psychic powers are a good/cool thing [bitter and cold in his own way, ie "you,, don't understand what you're talking about.. psychic powers are.. dangerous.." sort of energy], eventually her genuine enthusiasm breaks him down, and he agrees to help her search for espers, while himself not expressing that he is one.

At this point, Shigeo and Ritsu don't speak much, but they are amicable toward one another. Ritsu respects that Shigeo wants to improve as a person, but is also filled with anger that Shigeo refuses to use his natural abilities, and even more anger at himself for causing Shigeo to stop using them. Ritsu becomes a bit of a danger to himself and others, and finds himself tricked/persuaded by Onigawara and crew to assist them in an attack on a neighbouring school.

Ritsu (who was only really acting out, but is generally a good guy) freaks out when met with Hanazawa, an esper that wants to hurt others, and realises why exactly his older brother has been afraid to use his powers for so long. Viewing the destruction caused by the newcomer, he engages Hanazawa in a conversation, explaining that he should be more careful with his power, that people will get hurt, and asks that he stop. Hanazawa is extremely angered by this, believing himself to be the main character of the world, and attacks Ritsu. Through an extremely painful and stressful fight, Ritsu's powers are awakened, and elsewhere Shigeo is alerted to the feeling of two espers exerting a lot of power.

However, he would rather avoid joining the fight, and waits for the energy to die down, afraid he'd only make it worse by being a third esper in the fight. Then the house phone rings, so he picks up (as neither of his parents can come to the phone). On the other end is an already very unhinged Hanazawa, telling him that he'd beaten his younger brother in a fight, and had been asked to call him to get picked up. Ritsu's thinking was partially that Shigeo would be strong enough to protect him and take him home safely, and partially that it would help Shigeo come to terms with the fact he can't avoid his powers all his life. He wants his brother to accept his powers, after all.

The call ignites Shigeo's strong feelings of protection over his younger brother, and he immediately gets up to go to where he is and save him. By the time he reaches the school, he's already at a pretty negative point emotionally, quick to become dangerous. Hanazawa is very quickly beaten up, no exchanging of names or invitations of friendship, as Shigeo clearly sees him as an enemy from the get-go (for hurting Ritsu quite badly), and the feeling is mutual (because he lost and has to accept that he's weaker than someone). Shigeo saves Ritsu, takes him home, and passes out from exhaustion pretty quickly (physcial and mental).

--

When he returns to school the next day, his memories of the previous day are hazy, but he feels awful. Tome shows him a clip from the news of a school being destroyed, where she recognises him - and with an added remark of Inukawa remembering that Mob used to say he was a psychic, she asks if it was Shigeo's doing. Shigeo, who is upset by the events he can recall, and the ones he is being shown, becomes anguished - but the members of the telepathy group say that his actions were, in a way, heroic, and he quickly calms down, surprised to hear their positive response. Tome says he kind of overkilled it and shouldn't have destroyed a school, but that he stood up for his brother and protected him, which isn't that bad a thing to do. She then complains about him hiding his psychic powers from her, though she makes light of the situation and says he's probably got his reasons for hiding them, preventing Shigeo from becoming too upset by the scolding. She suggests that he has to become confident with his powers if he wants to be a real hero-type, and tells him to consider what he wants to do with them now that people know. Luckily as the footage captured isn't too clear, the unpopular Shigeo is not noticed, and the goody-two-shoes Ritsu is considered above suspicion. [Teru may or may not have been recognised by his school board, but I'm undecided. I lean toward him being recognised, but eh.]

Mezato is also interested by the news, and begins searching for the 3 people briefly shown in the news clip, who were hard to make out in the footage (Ritsu, Hanazawa, and Shigeo) but she is no amateur. She stumbles across Ritsu and questions him, but he's dark, angsty, and passive, newly awakened to psychic powers after being extremely injured, and a fair bit traumatised from the event. She pens him down as a possible instigator, and through a cryptic line like "my brother was right about having power being a bad thing," she goes to track Shigeo down, who encourages her to stop looking into it, as it's dangerous. She keeps her eye on both of them from this point on, as she has a faint idea that this could be the scoop of a lifetime.

As a result of the fight with Hanazawa, Ritsu starts practicing with his powers in secret. He's powerful, but new to his abilities, and afraid to bump into others like Hanazawa again without being able to use psychic power properly. Especially now that he knows he's weak compared to his older brother, who was vicious during the fight - even if it was in order to protect him. However, while practicing his powers, he is approached by Hanazawa himself, who tells him he can help him train, using the same justification that Shigeo is so overwhelmingly powerful that Ritsu needs to be able to defend himself "just in case something were to set him off again". They do not see eye-to-eye on this necessarily, but Ritsu sees the use in having a talented esper to help him train, and accepts the offer.

Meanwhile, Tome is trying to encourage Mob to be more confident with his powers, and to use them to help others, like a superhero. Although they usually hung out to search for telepaths in the past, she begins using this time to encourage him to help people in ways only he can, such as tripping purse snatchers, calming down lost children, and fixing broken things, all using his innate psychic abilities. Shigeo is learning slowly to use his powers in ways that make him feel good, and eventually, one of the telepathy club members suggests that he should try to exorcise a local ghost they heard about. Tome declares it a club excursion, and they all go to the abandoned building in which the ghost apparently resides.

Once there, they discover two other espers already on the case. Shigeo is surprised to see his brother there, along with the boy who had beaten him up a month or so ago. Ritsu explains that his powers had awoken, and he's been secretly training with Hanazawa, who seems to be intensely afraid of Shigeo. Shigeo asks if this is why Ritsu has barely been home the last few weeks, says their parents are worried, and that he should go home. Ritsu says he can't go home comfortably until he can control his power, "which you should understand, nii-san" and Shigeo is conflicted to learn that he has accidentally made Ritsu fearful of a power he's recently been making peace with.

Ritsu and Hanazawa go on ahead, and Shigeo isn't sure what he wants to do, wanting Ritsu to feel comfortable with his powers, (aka, let him try and exorcise the ghost, as he had intended to for training) but also wanting to send him home and keep him safe. He also feels apprehensive about Ritsu forging a friendship with someone he considers to be a bad person. Tome suggests they follow them, just in case, and Shigeo agrees with her judgement.

The spirit causing trouble turns out to be extremely dangerous, injuring both Ritsu and Hanazawa, as well as the telepathy club members. Shigeo steps in to protect them all from the spirit, and this also means protecting Hanazawa, who has become like a second brother to Ritsu over the last month. Hanazawa suddenly realises that Shigeo is a good person, but Ritsu becomes even more anguished due to his many conflicting feelings about psychic powers - how he couldn't do anything against the spirit, how Hanazawa suddenly seems in awe of his much stronger brother, and how Shigeo is able to destroy the spirit with ease, when neither of them could do anything special.

Hanazawa leaves with Ritsu, whose personality is becoming more twisted by the minute, confused at his feelings toward himself, and with feelings of fear and jealousy toward his brother, who suddenly seems comfortable using his psychic powers. This troubles him, when he had no idea Shigeo had also been 'training' his powers all this time [aka, he's getting it into his own head that Shigeo is intending to get stronger, rather than what we know; that he's trying to gain confidence].

--

Over the next while, he spends less and less time at home, only there to eat with the family - spending most of his time with Hanazawa, who stays by him, having become increasingly worried about his motivations. On the other side, Tome continues to help Shigeo to use his powers for noble causes, while he also continues activities with the body improvement club, which now includes Onigawara, who had witnessed Shigeo defeating Hanazawa and decided to learn more about him, only to enjoy the daily life of the club and become a member for real. [This is a weak plotline, subject to change, but I like Onigawara joining the club ok]

The telepathy club, other than Tome, no longer go with them on ghost visits due to the harrowing nature of the first. Even so, they keep ears to the ground to help them seek ghost rumours out, and are supportive of the good work they do for the locals. Shigeo is happily led by Tome's enthusiasm and strong sense of justice, and continues to help her search for other espers (especially telepaths) while exorcising ghosts and doing good deeds. He relies on her greatly for her personality, and doesn't feel a need to speak up too much - she views him as her equal and follows his judgement around spirits without making him feel uncomfortable.

During high school, despite being separated, Tome and Shigeo continue to work together on weekends. They are known locally as a pair of psychics, even though only one is an actual psychic - Tome is happy to be considered a psychic by association, however, and enjoys helping Shigeo in any way she can while on the job. This usually ends up in her speaking to the people they're helping; dealing with the social aspects that Shigeo finds uncomfortable, while Shigeo focuses his energy on the psychic work. She however does adopt moves such as Salt Splash after discovering that purified salt can weaken spirits, as a mechanism for self defence in dire situations.

At the same time (high school), Ritsu and Hanazawa have begun to pick up a following of espers who feel that their powers have made them alienated from society, and who want to be treated as normal people (the awakening lab crew), who they have begun to train, also. Ritsu has become more twisted by his need to prove his strength and worth against his brother, but is battling his own thoughts on this constantly - his brother would never hurt him, but what if? [Think: the anti-villain who believes they're an anti-hero and blurs the line as they fall deeper into their mess].

Hanazawa stays by Ritsu's side to remind him not to go off the deep end, and to continue helping him understand that Shigeo isn't his enemy [nobody here is a villain technically]. He tries to encourage Ritsu to speak to his brother about his feelings while he still can, but Ritsu (who is aware that his brother is now a local celebrity due to his powers) has become prey to his feelings of inadequacy. He believes he shouldn't speak to Shigeo until he's ready to fight him and defeat him, proving his worth as an esper, and a person. Hanazawa isn't sure that's for the best, but he continues to stay by Ritsu and support him, as he feels responsible for driving Ritsu to believe Shigeo was in any way dangerous when they first met.

-- timeskip to adulthood --

As adults, (around 24/25 [pssh, "adults"]) Tome opens Spirits and Such, alongside Mob, who has no other career path in mind, and is happy so long as Tome deals with people so he doesn't have to. Outside of his work with s&s, he is a bit of a recluse, shy around others, and still a little nervous about the powers he knows he's holding back, mostly staying in his apartment to avoid danger or conflict. Even so, he continues to regularly exercise, and helps the people around town when he can, while trying not to be noticed too much [this Shigeo is more socially anxious due to Tome taking on the bulk of social activity around him while they grew up].

Shou, who had heard of their work, and shares their strong sense of justice and desire to Do Good, comes one day to visit them. He notices very quickly that Shigeo is much more powerful than he lets on, and asks directly if he's content hiding so much of his power, a little disappointed in him. Shigeo (who has an easier time talking to spirits and fellow espers) explains that as a child, he'd hurt his brother, and has never truly recovered from the trauma, leaving an almost lifelong mental block on the bulk of his power. [This is something he feels he is able to speak about with other espers, and for comedic effect, Tome probably had no idea all this time and is shocked to find out something like that happened, when she thought the first time he used his powers to fight was during the fight with Hanazawa] Shou seems to understand his issue, and takes pity on him, explaining that he'll try to help Shigeo use and control the deeper powers he holds, giving him a business card for an esper research lab, and leaving.

Ritsu suddenly disappears after finishing university, and Shigeo (without hesitation) begins to use his free time to search for him, against Tome's better judgement. He has some leads, like Hanazawa becoming a celebrity psychic, though he's not sure how to go about meeting a celebrity, and Shou's mysterious esper research lab, though he isn't sure if Ritsu even knows about that. Sadly, he doesn't know how to go about following leads, when until now he's always followed Tome's judgements, so he's so far gotten absolutely nowhere.

This is about the time that LOL cult is being formed, and Reigen, a middle school boy, finds himself in the middle of a very dangerous situation. But luckily, S&S have been asked to check the shady organisation out by local reporter and friend of the business, Mezato, and Tome is sending in her best (and only) co-worker to get the job done.

--

Oh no I accidentally wrote a half-assed ageswap AU fanfiction? [REAL] This ended up being a whole prologue and being waaaay too big for me to tell the rest of the storyline in my head in just one post.......... 😳 So uh,,, let me know if you would want more of it 😳 (I even tried to make it brief!! This is not brief!!)

#ladies and gents I'm nervous to post it #what if people hate it #what if nobody sees it and I did all this work for nothing #what if I grossly misjudged the characters #it's too late now I've spend hours making my brain mess make sense #spent* #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 ageswap #mob psycho 100 age swap #mp100 fic #lulu's mp100 ageswap au #i do intend to do some stuff with this even if nobody likes it 👉👈 #long post #why did I DO THIS #I'm so embarrassed #i love mp100 too much disgusting #omg.... at least 4 people have seen this monstrosity I'm so sorry #if you enjoyed it please feel free to comment about it I'm so anxious about this post for some reason

[bodycountgame]

Hello! I was a big fan of the series a while a go and it is lovely to see that you are back. I'm terribly sorry that other anons put you through a lot with the voting aspect of the game. Absolutely no one deserves death threats for a story that they are bringing to us for free. However, I am not going to lie, I always feel a bit worried when a fandom majority vote is what has long lasting effects on character life/death. It was ok when it was everyone voting with an equal effect. Now there will be a wealth gap to vote. Only people that pay can contribute. And at least where I'm from wealth looks a certain kind of way.

Since you have characters that are in a minority it feels... Bad. Maybe I'm projecting how racist and transphobic my home country is on the vote for this game. I also don't want you to feel like this is an attack on you because that is not my intent at all! I love the diversity in the love interests and it was what brought me to the game initially. I am worried that if you do a majority vote on Patreon that characters that aren't white/cis will face a harsher vote. Trans lives are in danger and I was not surprised when a nonbinary character died first. I was part of the fandom and people treated them very grossly (it actually made me step away for a bit as well). There were many options but the vocally out and proud person got the boot first. What I'm saying is I trust you more than your Patreon supporters. If the people can't all vote as one, due to the actions of some terrible people, then maybe we shouldn't vote at all

anon, i totally understand your concerns because i absolutely shared them. to be completely honest with you, i had totally misjudged which characters i thought were popular or not and watching the three non binary cast members struggle through that first vote felt Bad. my personal disappointment about ellis being the character to receive the least votes in the vote contributed in no small part to the twist in chapter 3 and their revised arc (which was Not planned when i set out writing body count hahaha). howeverrrrrr, i did learn a lot from the process.

my main motivator behind making the vote patreon exclusive was that the voters would be genuinely invested in the game and that the polling would be much harder to game or manipulate. selfishly, i also think it will reduce a certain amount of the absolute barrage of wild anons from the first time around haha!

in addition to that, though, i think its important that i reaffirm what i have said from the start: i am acutely aware that in interactive fiction in general and particularly on tumblr there is a strong preference for white male characters, and i am not here to write some kind of gross POC/women/nb slasher. as much as i want the audience to have a say in the direction the story takes, i ultimately have final say on what happens in the story that i am writing.

the main way that i intend to have oversight of the voting process is by who appears on the polls in the first place; the first poll was the last time the whole cast will be available for a vote at the same time. since ellis, one of three NB cast members, was the first character to die, i've said that neither of the other NB cast members will appear on future polls. if it's women and POC suffering in the next vote, then i'll be applying similar logic. if that means we get towards the end and we need a white boy only poll then so be it!

that said, if people cannot behave then i will simply take away their toys. although i consider the voting mechanic to be one of the things that makes body count unique and fun, i'm absolutely not above doing away with it if there are Shenanigans that spoil it, ya know?

anyway, i hope that assuages some of your concerns! sorry for another giant wall of text wow i simply cannot answer a question concisely atm

#technical stuff #The Vote #faq #does this even make sense idk hope so!!

[frightmarefalls]

it’s tragic when much of the fandom is misunderstanding your blorbos 😔

#I’m sorry you thought WHAT now?? #you have grossly misjudged this character’s motives and actions #sigh #I’m offended ppl are even thinking such things #they don’t know them like I do…. #ok I ranted to myself in the shower and I feel better now

[buttercupbuck]

Honestly, GW not being latina is the reason why i, to a certain extent, disagree with the takes that call out people for regarding Ana’s hispanic background in a negative way. Her sharing Eddie’s heritage was written in very deliberately, she’s not a character that just happens to be latina. They used this to establish some sort of connection between them- which would have be perfectly fine, if they didn’t do it in literally the stupidest way possible and with an actress that can’t even pronounce ¡Hola! correctly !

I don’t know, if you think i‘m grossly misjudging the situation please call me out on it, but i feel like this is one of the very few cases where i’m allowed to criticise a character’s background, or rather the fact that the writers chose to give this character this specific background 🤷🏼‍♀️

yeah, i agree with you to an extent but i also just don’t really like non-latinx weighing in on this, tbh. idk if you are or aren’t and this isn’t aimed at you, but i also don’t have any desire to give any like…stamp of approval to white people who mocked ana’s background before they even knew about gw and then acted like it was all in the name of outrage on behalf of the latinx community

imo it’s just not white peoples place to say “she’s a fake latina so i’m gonna mock/criticize ana’s background” because a) they don’t have the nuance for that and b) as it stands on the show, ana flores is a latina. separation of actor and character is a thing, so yes we can criticize the creative team’s choice to emphasize her background and not cast an actual latina, and we can criticize her for accepting the role, but ? what else are you gonna say about ana’s (not gw’s) background beyond that? and how would white people have the range or any context for those kinds of conversations anyway

idk at least from what i’ve seen, white people have just really taken it upon themselves to make fun of ana’s background, and it doesn’t feel like they are uplifting the latinx community when they do it in the least. and i don’t think that was ever really the goal in all of that either, but they’re just not as subtle as they think

all to say that ofc latinx can roast and approach it however they want, and it’s not unfair for people to criticize the choice to give gw this role and not retcon the emphasis on ana’s hispanic bg, but overall i’m just really tired of loud white people picking up the pitchforks and pretending to give a fuck about all this when they only just put a bad taste in my mouth

#ask #anon #fandom discourse

[katrandomwrites]

Wierdly Human

Alternate title was "Jon the Archivist is Kinda Hot"

Little in between snippets from the assistants and their impressions of Jonathan Sims.

I declare this a fluff and humor only zone! Episode 160 can kiss my butt.

You can also find this on AO3 under the same title.

I got the inspiration for this from a tumblr post about Jon being a clean boy despite crawling through hell and back but I think the writer deleted it because I spent forever looking for it and couldn't find it :n: Also 2 Drink Jon is a reference to 2 other fics I've read so his wild ass is not mine.

Supplemental Headcanons at the end.

--

Pre-Show

There was somebody new at the Institute. 

He was short and dark with black hair neatly trimmed and styled. A pair of browline glasses perched in front of wide brown eyes that seemed to absorb everything around him.

“Hey, uh, Tim,” Martin whispered as he leaned over to where his coworker was digging through a drawer, “Who’s that?”

“Hm?” Tim’s eyes widened as he looked up, “Oh shit, he’s cute.”

“Not helpful, Tim.”

“Um, I think he might be Daniel’s replacement. I think his name is Joe or something,” Tim swallowed, “I wonder what modeling agency Bouchard raided for him.”

Martin elbowed him in the ribs hard, his face going as red as his hair, “Shut up!”

“But look at him, Martin! He has to have a skincare routine an hour long and don’t tell me you didn’t notice that those trousers are bloody tailored. I see you looking at his arse!”

“SHUT UP!”

”What are you two fighting about now?”

Both researchers jumped away from each other as Sasha popped up behind them.

“Hot new guy,” Tim said, earning another jab and a hiss.

Sasha looked at Martin and grinned, “Short, scrawny, Persian, and angry?”

“He’s Persian?” Martin stuttered before slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Yeah, I got to talk to him during his follow up interview. Smart guy but kind of grumpy and super awkward. We got talking about foriegn food and he offered to give me his grandma’s recipe for chelow kababs,” Sasha said.

“What’s his name.” Tim asked, looking back at where the new guy was glaring at a row of filing cabinets with several drawers ajar.

“Jonathan Sims.”

--

Pre Episode 44

Basira watched as Sims limped away with the tape clutched to his chest like a lifeline before sighing and heading out to the car where Daisy was waiting.

“Well?” Daisy asked, “How’s our favorite murderer?”

Basira swatted her feet off the dash, “He looks like he hasn’t slept in 3 weeks and recently got hit by a car.”

“I wasn’t asking about his nasty, worm-eaten face, Basira,” Daisy said, “Does he know we’re watching him?”

“I don’t think so -put your seatbelt on- it seems like he’s more invested in what’s on those tapes for now. I get the feeling he’s more worried about watching the people he works with than us.”

“What a sad little librarian. I’m looking forward to how he managed to kill Robinsen without getting his ass whipped.”

“She was old.”

“Yeah, but Sims looks like he’d get knocked out by a light breeze even before he got munched on by some nasty fucking bugs. Did you see the surveillance from Robinsen’s initial investigation? I went back through to track Sims and watched him struggle move a box that was in front of a filing cabinet for a solid twenty minutes; the big ginger guy had to move it for him.”

“That’s-” Basira snorted, “That’s pathetic.”

Daisy grinned, “He has to be one manipulative bastard to get anything done.”

“Is that your theory?”

“I mean look at you.”

“What about me?”

“He gives you the puppy eyes once and now you’re smuggling him tapes from the evidence locker? I have never known the great Basira Hussain to ever cave to a suspect’s wishes in my life- and don’t say it’s to keep a closer eye on him. We have less illegal tactics for that.”

Basira opened her mouth to argue but found that Daisy had a point. She really only gave into suspects if the circumstances were dire. This was technically classed as a low priority case.

What was going on here? 

--

Post Episode 76

Melanie flopped dramatically onto Georgie's couch and let out a long winded sigh.

"Oh?" Georgie asked from the kitchen door.

Melanie sat up slightly to let her sit down before plopping her head down on Georgie's thigh, "I had to go talk to Sims at the Institute again."

"How's Jon?"

"A fucking bastard is what he is."

"Well I knew that," Georgie laughed, gently beginning to brush through Melanie's hair with her fingers.

"I don't know, he's was wierdly defensive and I think he was trying to gaslight me about one of his new assistants."

Georgie paused her brushing, "I haven't seen Jon in a while but that seems… out of character for him. He's a grump, sure, but I've never known him to be a bully -on purpose that is."

"Yeah, well…"

The pair lapsed into a tense silence.

"Would it make you feel better if I show you a picture of Jon in university that he is very embarrassed about," Georgie ventured after a few minutes, "He's still mad I have it.~"

Melanie twisted her head back and grinned, instantly breaking the tension and sitting up to look at the phone screen presented to her.

On it was a picture of Jon passed out, mouth wide open and drooling, on the ugliest couch she'd ever seen.

"He still owns that couch by the way," Georgie said. Melanie waved a hand in her face to silence her as she took in the details.

Jon was in a pink crop top that Melanie was sure she'd seen in Georgie's closet, union jack boxers, gladiator sandals, and The Admiral was planted square on his chest, though he was about half the size of the fluffball that roamed the flat now. Surrounding them where piles of papers and books on the paranormal.

Melanie began to cackle.

"Our friend group used to call him '2 Drink Jon' and this was after he'd done four shots in the kitchen and decided to lecture us on how ghosts are bullshit and he could beat one in a fist fight," Georgie elaborated, "I'm still not sure when he ended up in that outfit but honestly, if we had recorded his rant he probably could have used it for his Masters thesis."

Melanie wheezed into her shoulder as tears began to stream down her face.

"2 Drink Jon was actually a lot more charismatic than sober Jon. This one time he almost had us convinced that he could talk to plants after two gin and tonics, granted we were also drunk but-,"

"Stop, please," Melanie wheezed, "I'm dying."

"Gosh, one of these days I'll have to tell you about tequila and the alien conspiracy. Randall could almost recite the whole speech from memory."

Melanie fell off the couch.

--

Post Episode 109

Julia and Trevor exchanged a look as the Archivist powered through the spiciest Thai food they could find without even breaking a sweat. 

It was supposed to be a joke, spiking Jon's food, the cashier had even given them a panicked look at the restaurant and Trevor's eyes had been watering the whole way back to the safe house. They'd even waited by the door in case Jon tried to make a break for the case of water bottles in the car but he just unwrapped the plastic fork and dug in without even asking for a drink.

Julia picked at her own food but couldn't quite manage to eat it and glanced back at Jon, "Are you sure you don't need a water or anything?"

Jon looked up for a moment, his eyes were more alive than they had been all day and practically sparkled in the shitty fluorescent light. He shook his head and instead reached for another packet of chili sauce to add to his food.

"What the hell is he," Trevor whispered to Julia in horror.

"I don't know but he's definitely not normal."

--

During Episode 132

Daisy had misjudged Jon. She'd grossly misjudged him.

She flexed her fingers around his, ignoring the way the sand dug into her skin, and gently pulled him closer. The man she'd called prey gave her a soft smile and compiled, pressing against her side like she'd never held a knife to his throat, like she hadn't just admitted to planning his murder before she was trapped here.

Daisy turned her head awkwardly and dug her face into his shoulder savoring the human contact, her tears soaking into his shirt.

The Hunt in her blood tried to sing, tried to fight the Buried, "Safe, Mine, Pack, Protect", it echoed faintly.

Jon said something and began to move, pulling Daisy forward along with him.

"Safe, Mine, Pack, Protect"

Hours past as they shimmied through the coffin, the pain of being scraped and crushed was overpowered by the sheer ecstasy of moving more than an inch every few days.

"Safe, Mine, Pack, Protect"

There was a door, Jon tucked himself under her arm and pulled her up the stairs to the blinding lights of the institute. She ducked her head down to his shoulder again and grimaced as her joints popped and groaned.

"Jon, you stupid idiot! What did you think-"

Daisy looked up to the person she thought she’d never see again and smiled.

"Hi."

--

Post Episode 132

Martin had horrible timing really. He just needed to pee, was that really too much to ask?

Of course it was. The universe hated him.

So instead of slipping into the private bathroom upstairs which was magically broken, he had to go down a level and walk in on Jon shaking dirt out of his clothes.

Martin was going to die here but at least he'd die happy.

Jon didn't even seem to register that someone else had joined him (thank the Lonely) so Martin took a second to sneak a guilty look before darting back out and hiding for 40 years.

Jon was painfully thin. Martin got the idea that he could count every vertebrae and rib if he was allowed and even at a glance he could spot the sunken area where at least one rib was now missing.

Worm scars and burns were peppered up his back along with a few moles and freckles. Little red marks circled his chest in a way that Martin immediately recognized as being from the black fabric crumpled at Jon's feet.

And to top it all off, much to Martin's delight, were a set of three black gears tattooed down Jon's right shoulder blade. Sasha had mentioned once that she had gone out for drinks with Jon when he first started and they'd managed to get on the topic of tattoos. Tim had spent months trying to get Jon to show it to him before 'giving up'.

Martin stepped out and stood in the hall for a moment, red faced and giddy, before stumbling off in search of another bathroom.

--

Somewhere between Episode 132-154

"Hey, guys?" Melanie called.

Daisy and Basira glanced up to see Melanie holding a giant plate of the best smelling food they'd seen in weeks. Steam wafted up into her very confused face.

"Did either of you make this? I went to ask Martin and I can't find him."

"I didn't make it," Basira said, "Daisy?"

"I once made spaghetti and lit it on fire.

Basira grimaced and walked up to Melanie, "Kebabs, Tahdig rice, flat bread, and jam cookies. Those are Iranian dishes, or Middle Eastern at least.”

Daisy looked at Basira, "How do you know that?"

"Took a foreign cuisine course focused on middle eastern food a few years ago," Basira said as she made her way to the kitchen area with the group in tow.

Sitting on the table were three more huge plates of food and two empty plates sitting in the sink. Martin was standing next to the table with pure confusion on his face.

"Did you make this?"

Martin jumped and looked at the group, "Uh, no? I really only do pastas… this is a little outside my skill set. I think-"

"It could be a trap," Daisy interrupted, "Maybe it's laced with something?"

"No, I'm pretty sure-"

"Could be, but who would go to this effort, the Web?" Basira said.

"Guys, it was probably-"

"It was the Archivist!" Helen exclaimed from behind them, somehow having opened her door without making a sound and scaring the shit out of them, "He is an excellent cook."

"Bullshit," Melanie wheezed, setting her plate down before she dropped it.

"No, she right," Martin sighed, "Jon actually cooked something similar a few years ago for a company thing. He gave this whole speech about how grandparents immigrated here from Iran, well Persia at the time, and his grandma made him learn to cook what she called 'real food'."

"You mean to tell me that Jonathan Sims, the skinniest guy I have ever met, can cook like this," Basira said in disbelief before cautiously sitting down at the table with the rest following suit.

"He called it his grandmother's curse," Helen provided cheerfully, "He said that no matter what he does,  he always makes far more than he needs and never has people around to give it to. So he just never cooks."

"You talked to him?" Melanie asked. Daisy began to pick at a plate and made a sound of confusion and delight at the taste.

"Oh yes, he even let me help by getting things off high shelves!"

"This is amazing," Daisy said in disbelief before grabbing a fork and beginning to eat in earnest.

"It is! Jon and I had a lovely chat and I'm not much for 'real' food these days but he really convinced me!" Helen declared, spinning back around to re enter her door, "And I must say it was delightful."

"Huh," Basira shrugged and began to eat.

Not bad.

--

Post Episode 159

For the second time since he woke up, Martin pinched himself. He had to be dreaming, the smaller body smooshed up against his chest and the boney limbs clinging to him had to be a figment of his imagination.

Jon huffed in his sleep and burrowed deeper into Martin before settling again. A few stray rays of the morning sun slipped through the blinds highlighting Jon’s gray hairs and the raised edges of scars that trailed along his skin.

Gently, Martin carded his hand through the wild mess of hair, marveling at how soft it was despite everything. Jon sighed, leaning into the touch without stirring.

He could stay like this forever, with Jon safe in his arms and the dangers of the world outside, away from his happiness.

"Wha' time?" Jon mumbled, stretching before re-draping himself over Martin. He looked up and the light caught his eyes in a way that Martin could see all the blue heterochromatic spots in Jon's left eye through dark, heavy lashes. 

"Doesn't matter," Martin whispered as he pulled him closer, "We have all the time in the world."

--

Supplemental Headcanons: - Jon is a 3rd gen Persian/Iranian immigrant. His grandparents on his dad's side moved to England post WWII. (Persia became Iran in 1979) They took the last name Sims during immigration. - His mother was full blooded English. - He can out cook 87% of the local grandma's when he really gets into it - He built an unnaturally high tolerance to salt and spice as a kid to keep people from taking his lunch or trying to mess with his food and now thoroughly enjoys spicy foods. - Jon does care a lot but his grandma never taught him to show it in any other way but tolerance and mute acceptance. It's hard to know where you stand with Jon because of this. - Was a runner while in school. - Was forced to take violin lessons as a kid and Georgie taught him some piano in University. - Jon is and always has been feral little man though he is more bark than bite (unless he's under the influence of something). He learned it from his grandma. - He's one of those drunks that often wanders/ runs away from his drinking group. He has strong drunk college girl tendencies. - He changed his middle name to Ulysses when he got his first name legally changed because he’s a nerd. - Jon has had the same pen pal since he was 10. They are one of the few points of normalcy he has left. - Jon and Daisy are trans mlm and wlw solidarity. Fight me.

Fun Fact: Sims means "the Listener" which seems almost too on the nose.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #martin blackwood #daisy tonner #basira hussain #melanie king #georgie barker #my writing #fanfiction #jonmartin #spoilers #dasira #what the girlfriends

[pineapplepilates]

I have BPD

Something i’ve never talked about here is my borderline personality disorder. Which is strange, I guess. Since it’s such a huge part of my existence. I’ve been officially diagnosed with BPD for a year now, but have been living with the symptoms for nearly as long as I can remember. 

There is a lot of stigmatization with BPD. People are grossly misinformed, and resultantly, sufferers are demonized, misjudged and feared. When I was diagnosed with BPD, the psychiatrist warned me not to refer to myself as a borderline, and said to tell others I simply suffer with “emotion regulation.” She said I shouldn’t classify myself as one of those people. This statement broke my fucking heart. After years of living my life feeling like an actual extraterrestrial incapable of relating or connecting healthily with others, after years of struggling with addiction, eating disorders, mood swings, turbulent relationships and identity instability, after feeling absolutely defeated, alone and beyond repair, I had finally found an answer. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t beyond hope. There were other people like me dealing with my struggles, and the prospects of my recovery were good. Really good, in fact. 

My diagnosis was a beam of light and hope in an otherwise dark and scary existence. And the light went out nearly as soon as it appeared due to the nasty stigmatism's surrounding the title. 

Let me put it on the MF record that I am not heeding my psychiatrists advice. I talk very openly about my experience with BPD in hopes to change the narrative surrounding the illness. No one should be shamed into hiding their illnesses, no one should be made to feel like a monster or broken for something out of their control. 

Knowledge breeds change, so if you have a free second and are interested in learning more about BPD, here are some helpful resources: 

What is BPD? How is BPD treated? Living with BPD My inbox is ALWAYS open if you are curious about BPD, want to learn more, or just need someone to talk to. I, of all people, know what it’s like to feel alone, so please never hesitate to reach out💕

(Quick little side note: If finding out that I have BPD makes you want to unfollow me or makes you question my character: please go!! bye!!)

#personal #BPD

[muchadoaboutmusicals]

What are your thoughts on Legally Blonde the Musical? I've heard a lot of people rag on it but it's such a fun, positive show? Why are so many theatre people insistent on "good theatre" having to be emotionally heavy and profound all the time?

“Legally Blonde” is one of my favorite musicals. Why would it not be? Oh. Right. People don’t want to think that a pink-covered musical about a blonde girl is serious theatre (as if theatre even has to be serious to be good). I’m with you on shows not needing to be emotionally heavy to be good. Lots of great musicals are a bit on the fluffy side. But I don’t think LB is one of them. It deals with some heavy stuff.

“Legally Blonde” is one of the most feminist musicals out there. It’s literally about a woman overcoming gender norms and societal expectations to become a really good lawyer. And she does it all while being unapologetically feminine, even going on a journey of learning that she can be pretty, fashionable, and pink-loving while also being an intelligent, forceful leader. All around Elle are people who say she needs to change to fit the mold of what a lawyer is -- serious, drab, cynical, and masculine. She even has her own moments of wanting to betray parts of herself (wanting to dye her hair brown, beginning to wear only dark blue suits, etc.). Elle  even has to put up with sexual harassment and assault from her professor and boss, which other characters blame HER for. This nearly drives her to quit school and her career as a lawyer. However, the camaraderie of fellow women gets her through, and she is able to come back stronger than ever, win the case, and finish law school at the top of her class.

I know what people are about to say: “But she uprooted her whole life for a guy and she only did any of that stuff to get a boy and blah blah!” Listen to me carefully. Falling in love is not anti-feminist. Did Elle grossly misjudge Warner and misplace her affections? Yeah, totally. But she didn’t make a stupid decision -- she decided to do something new and challenging in her life to make people she cared about proud. And...come on...like less than half-way into the show she decides to stop caring about winning the guy and starts wanting to beat him. She grows as a character and learns to place more importance on herself and what she wants to accomplish. Elle is a total role model for girls without condemning them for being...girly. Too many girls are shamed for what they love and devote time to because it’s traditionally feminine. “Legally Blonde” says they can be 110% into traditionally feminine things, wearing belt-coordinated shoes and flawless make-up, and ALSO do serious, important work that might traditionally be associated with men. It says “You don’t have to be more like a man or more likable to men in order to achieve in your chosen field.”

The show is, as you say, super fun and positive. It’s bright and sunny and pink. It’s tongue-in-cheek funny and doesn’t take itself seriously. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t serious theatre. It tells a complex story about complicated characters dealing with tough real-world issues. It has a strong message of inclusion and acceptance. And it features a wide array of strong female characters who all grow into better loving themselves over the course of the play (Elle, Paulette, Vivienne). There is literally no reason to drag this musical. 

#Legally Blonde #feminism #ask game #Anon

[nancybutkus]

Two Weddings

My brother recently posted a video on Facebook of his wife Lisette salsa dancing. His comment, “Mi bonita,” made me smile. 

At age 60, and after 3 failed marriages, he seemed to have at last found marital bliss. I thought back to that Labor Day weekend thirty-two years ago, when I watched hopefully as he married his first wife. 

On that same weekend, purely coincidently, I met David, my future husband at yet another wedding. Those few whirlwind days of romance and ritual are fixed in my mind as a kind of turning point. 

On that one magical weekend in September, I too got caught up in wedding fever. Meeting David that day, I felt a gravitational pull. I believed it was kismet. I had attended my brothers wedding at the Jersey Shore on a Friday. 

My brother’s ceremony was short but not neccessarily sweet. Only the two families attended as there was some lingering discomfort over the presense of the couples now-six-month-old son. 

At the dinner afterwards, my father managed to insult the bride with a sarcastic toast which met with blank stares and disbelief. It was appalling. I left that evening to drive back to the city, disturbed and feeling an ever-growing chasm between myself and my family and glad for the distraction of the wedding the next day.

The wedding of my boss, Jane, held in the Hamptons, would be far different in both style and substance. Having never been a Hamptons type, I grossly misjudged how long it would take me to wend my way down molasses-slow Route 27—on Saturday of Labor Day weekend no less. 

I became increasingly anxious as the hour of the wedding approached. Jane had worked for years at the Washington Post and the renowned editor Ben Bradlee (the Jason Robards character in All the Presidents Men) was not only walking my boss down the aisle, but hosting it at his beautiful beach house, the similiarly famous Grey Gardens. 

As a wedding gift, I had promised to take Polaroids and create a keepsake album and now that assignment was looking seriously compromised. I pulled over and called the house to ask them to delay the ceremony. Ben answered the phone and after I explained my situation, he said, in his inimitable voice “Butkus, get your ass over here. Now.” 

I obeyed but not without picking up a ticket for driving on the shoulder of the road. Only a few minutes late, I parked outside the distinctive shingle-style house and rushed to the door. Sally Quinn, Ben’s wife and a writer for the Post, opened the door, took a look at me and announced “The photographer’s here.” 

Perhaps it was my Betsey Johnson spandex bustier dress but I instantly felt self-conscious and out of place. It was an afternoon wedding and all the other women were wearing conservative floral tea dresses. 

My outfit seemed to broadcast Jersey Girl to the decidedly upscale crowd. Thank god for my Polaroid camera—and my “job” as photographer— as I quickly ran upstairs to photograph the bride and groom getting ready. 

Then I meandered out to the verandah to shoot the guests, many of them distinguished journalists whose relish to have the camera turned on them was conspicuously absent. It was hard to get them to pay attention to me, let alone smile for the camera. 

As I tried to infiltrate various groups intent on ignoring me, one guest at last turned and smiled. It was David and he couldn’t have been more charming. I suddenly felt at ease. He didn’t seem to mind my woefully out-of-place dress. The ceremony was lovely. 

Jane walked down the center hall staircase and into the living room to stand before a large fireplace whose mantle was bedecked with flowers. Vows were exchanged and then everyone relaxed outside with drinks and hors d’oeuvres. The gardens were simultaneously lush and tasteful. 

Masses of hydrangeas still held their blooms and the warm early September afternoon enhanced the perfection of the setting. I managed to find a few friends from work to talk to and abandoned the Polaroid. 

After all, I was a guest too and wanted to have a good time. After this bit of socialyzing the guests were instructed to head over to Sag Harbor for a formal dinner at the American Hotel. The wedding party had booked a room large enough to seat the entire guest list. 

After a short drive, I entered the restaurant, armed with more Polaroid film knowing there would be toasts and lots of opportunities for memorable pictures. I found my place card and watched as my table filled with a few co-workers and the rest strangers. 

The seat to my right was empty until the charming man who hours earlier was my willing Polaroid subject, sat down and gave me a smile. He was handsome but not in the cute-boy way that usually attracted me. 

David was manly, with a cleft in his chin, dark hair and meticulously dressed, like a Cary Grant character in a 30’s rom com. What’s more, he had perfect manners as I soon realized when I spilled my wine on him and he made the incident playful and fun instead of mortifying for me. 

The evening proceeded marked by inventive toasts, great food and many bottles of wine. Our table was raucous, aided and abetted by Davids roaring laughter. I had never met anyone like him before. With his attention trained on me, I’d never felt so desirable. But he also exhibited a vulnerability which made him endearing. It was odd to feel so at ease with someone and so connected after such a brief amount of time. My head was spinning. 

A couple hours into the dinner, I ran out of film and announced I’d be right back after a quick trip to my car. He volunteered to go with me. Sure, why not? Once we got to my car, we both got in and he started to kiss me. Wow, a good kisser too! Who was this guy? Prince Charming and studliness all wrapped up in a bespoke suit! 

Once back inside, the fun at our table continued. There was a brief moment when David’s hand seemed to go for my bustier top but by then, we had all had so much to drink that the stories now greatly differ. My feelings however, were solid. I wanted the night to never end but then, a look at my watch, told me it was high time for the ferry back to the North Fork. 

Just like Cinderella, I rushed out, abruptly leaving David who only knew my name and that I worked for Jane. I don’t remember the ferry ride home but I recall that after getting back to my summer rental in Southold that I woke up my house mate and best friend. 

I told her I had met the most amazing man and that I needed to see him again. I thought he was The One. Dear reader, yes, I did marry him and we had two beautiful and intelligent daughters. But like the other two marriages that weekend, ours too ended in divorce. 

But for the that one bright shiny weekend, romance was in the air and hearts were wide open.