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#what if we were both autistic and trans too
cringelordofchaos · 3 days
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Disability + Queer headcanons for some South Park characters i like
(warning: u might not agree w everything i have to say !!! :shocked emoji:)
(also sorry if im inconsistent w some characters pronouns ill probably refer to a character with their canon pronouns in the show and then when i remember trans hcs of said characterr suddenly ill refer to the w different pronouns)
Craig Tucker
- gay (no fucking shit sherlock)
- level 1 autistic, low empathy, difficulties communicating and understanding emotions, yada yada u get the gist
- some form of anxiety? idk probs not to a disordered amount but its there.
Kenny McCormick
- Chronic pain (everywhere)
- Epilepsy
- dude LITERALLY got a seizure from simply playing a video game (in thepokemon episode) this dudes physical health is so bad prolly cuz his constant deaths still leave an impact on him even after he gets revived?
- autism !? (idk im not 100% sure just yet)
- selectively mute
- probably some form of (complex?) PTSD from the constant traumatizing deaths he endures though again like im not sure
- but yyeah ok i just remembered thispost is about disability AND queer hcs so uhm kenny. I like the genderqueer hcs but he could also just be really gnc and i love that for him too. either way likes women a lot and i cant exactly imagine him liking a dude? like idk maybe but nah i dont see it
Tweek Tweak
- im sorry but i personally dont view him as having adhd cuz his parents tell others hes hyperactive bc of it but really its because they keep drugging the fucking eight year old so idk. like idk he could possibly have it but i cant decipher cuz we dont know what tweek would be like if he wasnt drugged and a coffee addict at such a young age. and causes of symptoms matter
- but yeah he def has GAD and panic disorder bc of the drugged coffee
- oh also gay
eric cartman
- NPD (i know hes a really stereotypical and harmful portrayal of it and there should be better representation of it but theres no way he doesnt have it im sorry)
- sexuality and gender are whatever benefits him at the moment
(ok but if ur actually wondering abt my hc hes probably gay)(in extreme denial obviously though)
Butters Stotch
- has some form of disorder related to trauma and if he doesnt hell get one when he grows up because like dudes been through SOME FUCKING SHIT. (and he canonically falls asleep to and wakes up to the sounds of his own screams so like. uhm)
- seems like hes straight? like could be bi though idk. he DID have a crush on princess kenny though? take it as you will lmao
- SHIT i forgot about marjorine. yeah just like w kenny either genderqueer or gnc, love both hcs
- may i suggest aroace butters though
- or no sexuality butters (he doesnt have a sexuality :broke heart:)(dont aks me how that works it jst does)
Stan Marsh
- Major depressive disorder
- literal alcoholic at age 10 thats bound to mess him up for life one way or another
- canonically diagnosed with asperger's syndrome but it was his obvious depression being misdiagnosed
- bi but like only gay for specific chars. but yeah confused abt sexuality
- gender questioning too and its pretty canon as shown in 'the cissy'. though then again stans really empathetic so u could say stans confused feelings of gender identity were just being influenced by cartman and wendy recently telling the school theyre trans. idk WHICH way stans trans though and neither do they
- emo
kyle broflovski
- im gonna hes say asexual cuz of human kite's character chart thingy and also bc why not
- have got zero clue as to what his sexuality is like. im a style shipper (big surprise ik) so u might think i think he likes dudes but idk. ive never seen anyone hc him as aroace before but i think it could fit him. he does seem like he could just be cishet too. or maybe bi? ive also seen gay hcs of him. idk man i think multiple fit depending on how u interpret his character?
-
Tolkien Black
- his roleplay character chart thingy said ther character was gender neutral so im going w that hc
- likes girls (canon as shown in cartman finds love)
Bradly/Bradley (the one from the conversion therapy episode)
- gay (SHOCKER)(BIGASS SURPRISE)(
Timmy
- canon wheelchair user (whats the term again i forgor) and also intellectually disabled (but also there was one point where it was revealed he was actually a genius i think?? so maybe hes not intellectually disabled but rather he lacks the capacity to express or communicate his inner world? idk)
- timmy
thas all i got for now im too lazy to continue but yeah pls dont kill me for these
EDIT 11/JUNE/2024: forgot to say this but also kenny has more physical disabilities than listed and also Cartman is dyslexic in my hc
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toads-n-moss · 1 year
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[ no dl6 au ]
what if you were my paralegal/artist friend and i was a lawyer and i had a crush on you but i'm too awkward with words to say anything, so i just bring you along with me to crime scenes and investigate with you.
what then huh.
[id in alt text]
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handshake w/anyone framed as "abnormal" but once again [trans] handshake [autistic] the way this is so parallel to me continually taking all winston's material in stride and in earnest as just more regular stuff that's probably even extra appealing, then be left to piece together that we're also all supposed to have always taken it all as a joke in the first place
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wisteriaiswriting · 4 months
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Can you do an autistic trans(if you do that) male reader who doesn’t really get social cues but is overall pretty quiet and reserved with the people from the Hazbin hotel?
𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪
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Words: 1111
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𝔸𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣:
He will be unaware at first, so his first impression about you is not good. Thinks you’re being rude on purpose, but when he finds out that's not the case he’ll feel slightly bad.
For his assumptions he’ll subtly apologize by dropping presents in your room (Unnamed of course.) and lending you a helping hand.
If you two become close he will take you to his tailor to get matching suits, different colours obviously, can’t have you taking his signature colour now, can we?
***
For the first few days you’ve been at the hotel Alastor has been weirdly stand offish. Others didn’t mind, often glad he’s staying away rather than closer. But you wanted to know why, so you asked Charlie.
Who asked Alastor, to which he gracefully answered.
“Well, I don’t enjoy seeing terrible manners around the hotel, surely you don’t either?” At his words the reason for avoidance clicked in her head.
“Why didn't you say so? Well knowing you, you wouldn’t… But Y/N isn’t that good with social cues, so he doesn’t mean any of, whatever he’s been doing.”
“Oh…” At her words he left the room, finding you. “Well hello my Handsome fellow,”
“Hi?” After his most recent actions you didn’t expect him to just waltz up to you.
“Unfortunately someone has ruined my suit,” Correct, a good chunk was missing. “And hopefully you would accompany me?”
“Sure, I guess?”
“Perfect!”
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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖:
She's unsurprisingly similar when it comes to social cues.
When it comes to you being autistic or trans she won’t notice, that’ll be the last thing she knows.
You two can not be left alone, someone will need to supervise you both.
***
It has been barely a week since you fell into hell and it’s been terrible. There were too many things happen that you could say or even recall, so today was meant to be relaxing. Or at least somewhat close, until someone pulled you around.
They were your only friend here, so of course you had to follow. After a few hours walking around you found you both in front of a hotel, one called the ‘Hazbin hotel.’ Excitedly knocking at the door while you watched.
Within seconds the door swung open revealing an excited blonde.
“Oh my, hi!” Pulling you both in as she spoke, which allowed you to see other people hanging around. “I’m Charlie, and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”
“Told ya you’d like it here.”
You were both aware nothing was said beforehand but you didn’t confront them. Seemed like the others knew something was up, so they had Charlie pull you away.
“Since you're new, how about a private tour of the Hazbin Hotel?”
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𝕍𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕚𝕖:
Compared to the other hotel residents your quietness is a surprise, but a welcome one at that.
If you ask or signal at all to her she’ll be at your side to subtly help you with social cues and anything else needed.
Especially if you’re new (Also if not) she’ll help you get masculine clothing, although she might have to get others help as she isn’t the most masculine either.
***
Charlie had just brought you to the hotel in a… not so good condition. She wasn’t sure what you went through to look like that but she knew you needed some help, and she was going to help where she could.
“Alastor, I need your help”
“Hmm?”
“You know the newbie, I have to get him some clothes. Problem is I have no clue where to go.” At her words his smile increases slightly.
“I could help, for a price…”
“Nevermind.”
While she wanted to help she wouldn’t risk anything with Alastor, maybe Angel would be better.
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𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝 𝔻𝕦𝕤𝕥:
He’s seen some shit during his time down in hell, so your actions and attitude isn’t seen as weird to him.
To a degree he’ll take advantage of you. Never anything you wouldn’t want, but to keep him safe from Vaggie or Alastor.
But only he can do it, if anyone else even tries he’ll be there to protect you.
***
“Vaggie, why would I do that?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe you–”
“Doesn’t matter, I would never when Y/N is with me!”
At his words Vaggie looked down at you, finding you wrapped in Angels pairs of arms. You had a few blooming bruises around your face but otherwise seemed alright.
“Just… Don’t do it again, I don’t want to see Y/N or Charlie get mad at you.”
“Really, Y/N mad at me? Never!” One pair of hands had come up to cup your cheeks, able to leave multiple kisses. Causing Vaggie to leave quickly.
“Now, let me take care of those bruises.”
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𝕊𝕚𝕣 ℙ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤:
He’s been thrown into the same boat as you, has absolutely no understanding of social cues.
If anything the eggs make it worse, as they are somehow worse than sir pentious.
He has accidentally hurt the both of you at once somehow, no one is sure how that happened.
***
The streets didn’t seem too busy, which was weird for hell. But it might’ve been the fact you and Sir Pentious just weren’t aware of them walking. His tail was swaying dangerously behind him, knocking over any people.
During this his eggs were scattered around the both of you. Some stayed behind, in between and some strayed next to you. Which caused an even bigger barrier to form, now people had to step off the path.
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ℍ𝕦𝕤𝕜:
When he first meets you he won’t really care, he’s had worst people hang around.
If he’s being honest he understands and gets social cues, but majority of the time he just doesn’t care about them.
Even then he knows with your lack of awareness you’re likely to get into some unwanted trouble, so he hangs around a lot more.
***
Husk never had the heart to blame you for any trouble, he knew you never meant it. So tonight he accompanied you to a nearby bar, intending for at least a semi-nice night out. But of course someone had to ruin it.
A drunk demon decided he wanted to bother you for the night, ignoring Husk the whole time. But over time his anger rose, you weren’t even looking at him and you didn’t seem interested.
In which you weren’t, but he seemed so incessant that you spoke, even if you didn’t. His attitude quickly became clear very quickly, except you didn’t notice. As he reached for you Husk was quicker, sending a card flying into his head.
That caused everyone to start their own fights. Which gave you two the chance to leave, with minimal injuries of course. Taking the chance you both ran out, luckily no one else was waiting outside.
“We’re going back.”
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dottybot · 10 months
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Lost housing and almost killed by our landlords
(Twice)
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C*sh app: $dottybot
V*nmo: @dottybot
@translesbo's Paypal: [email protected]
My partner, @translesbo, and I after signing a lease, were put through 2 big gas leaks during times we had planned on and had been close to sleeping in the apartment. The entire time the place made us sick and was hard to breathe in with a strong awful smell and remained unihabitable, causing us to be without a home since July 3rd, 2023 due to it.
We are a brown latine lesbian couple and both trans (her transfem and myself tme cafab) and autistic along with other disabilities, and have 2 esa cats.
The whole time during the lease, the landlord would excuse the lack of cleanliness and poor maintenance of the building with that it was an old building, deny things she once acknowledge, and imply that we were just lying or causing the problems and even giving us trouble with getting out of the lease. But before that it led up to 2 big gas leaks.
To not make the post appear too lengthy, the rest is under a cut.
So the 1st gas leak, we were earlier sure about taking and about to load up the cats with us to all attempt sleeping there for the night, only last minute getting the feeling like we should not bring them and then deciding not to. Once in the apartment, we were there, windows shut the entire time, for 3+ hours. I went from the regular struggle to breath, head pain, and sickly feel to escalating much more and becoming very out of it, struggling to stay awake to beginning to feel so out of control, and I never would have guess we were being poisoned due to the state it had already put me in. Kat only noticed by chance, the smell of gas by the oven, when she was just starting to feel more off, which we otherwise wouldn't have spotted with how strong the place smelled. We were so close to not noticing it at all.
Kat had been barely able to drive but got us to the nearby ER, and doctors confirmed the gas poisoning, and kept us there for 3 or 4 hours through the night until recovered enough, fortunately due to it being short term, we had no lasting damage on our bodies, just both felt very ill the next day, and myself barely able to move I remained sick from it for 3 days.
That morning, Kat had contacted the gas company as the doctors suggested, though they could not do anything as we followed the leases direction and were not notified during the event, so no one but the apartment maintenance would be able to even confirm it happening. However, the fire departmen came with a firetruck, since it was also recommended by the doctor to get the place checked out by them.
The landlord later called, after us updating her of current apartment issues promptly as per lease requirements, and this call she went too far. She kept up with her same tactics but worse. She tried implying either we made up that there was a leak or we intentionally gave ourselves gas poisoning (like we were still very sick from the previous night) and was then many times claiming everything is fine with the maintenance man the landlord insists "he knows what he's doing" and "no one has ever had a problem with him", because we had included our concerns with him-- this guy had tried making kat sound like she overreacted and didn't know anything, kept claiming that "Gas does Not spread" so we should have been fine, not having any effects of poisoning, along with other contrary claims.
Anyways, the landlord lady was very clearly implying she thinks we are liars about there even being a gas leak, implying we didnt contact the gas and fire department which she claimed to "work closely with so they wouldn't lie, because she contacted the places and no one had documentation since maintenance was the only one to witness, it was her word against ours. This is when we realize due to the lease instructions to forgo contact to a third party professional to fix gas leaks, we would not be able to have paper documentation against her to prove it. She even "randomly" asked the name of our previous apartment place, and mentioned threatening like "didnt you have a gas leak there too?" As even more reason to accuse us, and saying she may have to contact our previous apartment place and saying how odd she thinks it was to have another leak, though this one worse,
On the 3rd day, after the 1st leak I was still feeling ill only starting to recover, the 2nd leak happened. this time we had to bring our cats with us, since we had no where else to stay with our previous lease over, and the apartment still uninhabitable and made us both more sickly, and still feared being there.
Earlier in that day, we were reassured multiple times that it was fixed and that "the stove SHOULD be putting out a gas smell for the next hour or 2", and that it means it's "Fixed, working" the maintenance man kept insisting, even the landlord lady was there strongly confirming multiple times it was true because "he Knows what he is doing" again, even confirming therepair was checked later in the day to make sure there was no leak and that it was safe.
We were afraid to go back after the 1st leak after how badly to us at least it seemed to be pouring out earlier in the day and their claim that it was supposed to be that way, but it was the only option we had.
We were unsure if we were just overreacting for a while and imagining the smell, it was several hours laters with all windows having been left open, though eventually calling our gas company this time to get proper documentation and a professional, since the smell had not diminished.
Kat was told by the gas man that gas was shooting out, and he's seen fires breakout from similar.. so we had to get Out.
Which led to us being homeless and having to sleep in the car and soon after, we were fortunately able to stay at Kat's parents house though they do not have space for us, keeping us and our cats in her nephew's small cramped room, with Kat sleeping on a broken bed that is messing with her scoliosis, and me havung to sleep on the floor for over a month now really taking a toll on me. And our cats have been under constant stress, making them require more care and expense.
This whole thing has made me lose my job, has been traumatic for us both, and lose easily over $2,500 into cost of the apartment and our repairs alone, and $250 on an attourney that did not try to help much but was able to get us out of the lease. On top of kat recently being wrongfully stopped by a cop for a made up reason, giving her a $135 ticket, along with having to take a 5 week un paid leave of absence to be able to help deal with our situation. And we can no longer put off car repairs, we have put off this whole year since it sputters most of the time instead of starting now along with other concerning issues.
We have currently been trying to find better jobs and a place to live, though due to the unstable living situation and and loss of income it has been more difficult to find a place.
So, any mutua*aid if you have the means and any reblogs would really help and be appreciated a ton
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sophie-frm-mars · 2 months
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Liberal Dissociative Amnesia
The Cass Review is the most discussed political topic among trans people in the UK right now. The 388 page report by Dr Hillary Cass examines the gender services available to young people in the UK and concludes that young people are being let down, gender services need to be taken out of reach for trans people under 25 and a new system which urges avoiding transition at every turn needs to be created which will refer people at age 25.
I just watched Michael Walker on Novara Media say "I think there are some very difficult questions here that I really don't know the answer to", and I find myself baffled by statements like this. I did actually understand in watching what specific questions he thought were "difficult", and I think someone could probably answer them pretty effectively to a standard he was happy with if he had a well informed trans person who he trusted in his life. The problem is, the whole segment was presented with as much equivocation and both-sidesing as possible, this constant air of "what if"
I feel like I'm observing a dissociative amnesia that people like this run into when discussing something that people they can easily see are bigots have declared to be scientific and complicated and requiring serious scrutiny. The Novara team understand the broad wave of anti-trans attacks happening across much of the world, particularly America and Britain, right now, even if they won't necessarily call it genocide - so why does this story exist completely devoid of context? Why is it suddenly time to ask "difficult questions"?
Walker wonders out loud about people on a spectrum where at one end people would have always been cis under all circumstances and on the other they would have always been trans, and in the middle of course are people who might transition if it's easier and there's less stigma. His point as far as I can tell is that somewhere in there it could get TOO easy to transition and then people will do it and regret it. Do I need to bother saying this is why we have informed consent?
It's like the people trying to wipe us out are playing Simon Says with the most progressive of our liberal media. The progressives can see bigotry for what it is most of the time and then somehow suddenly it becomes ✨special science bigotry ✨ and, perhaps because there's an institutional weight behind it, perhaps because it claims to be a serious study, or perhaps just because of the aesthetics of intellectualism the progressive journalists mysteriously forget about the whole wider context of transphobia around the world and have to apply rigorous journalistic standards to it.
"There's social contagion!" "No that's bigotry"
"They're just undiagnosed autistic people!" "No they're trans AND autistic"
"They're coming after the kids!" "No, that's age old queerphobia"
"✨Simon Says ✨ there's social contagion!" "oh well this warrants very careful discussion, I need to think very hard about this before taking a side here, it's a toxic culture war debate and we must remain ✨rational✨ when discussing issues like this..."
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mintacle · 3 months
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Lately I've seen a number of posts written by people who are frustrated by the expression of Jason Todd being female coded. And I feel like there's some misunderstandings here.
Honestly I'm assuming the anger about binary gender codings like "jason todd is female coded" is coming from people who are also queer. And I can see why people would feel frustrated by the simplification and what seems like unnecessary gendering of trauma. Hell, maybe it's even invalidating to your gender and your trauma. That's fair.
Personally I believe gender is a social construct. No emotion or situation belongs to any one gender. However. As a trans person. I've had to confront that my reality is shaped by the binary gender I am assigned. While I reject being "female coded", the situations I've been in and the trauma I've gone through has been severely influenced by being AFAB. Social constructs do shape our reality.
Me and my cis brother grew up with the same parents. But I faced more physical abuse from my father and higher expectations from my mother. He got an autism diagnosis and arguably faced and internalized ableism his whole life, I got told I make too much eyecontact to be autistic. Both of our lives and hardships have been shaped by the gender we were assigned.
To me the expression "jason todd is female coded" means that every attempt Jason has made to express his pain has been met by people trying to have a philosophical argument about the nature of man and second chances and justice like they are not literally talking to his reanimated body. That kind of blatant disregard of your pain and tonedeaf request to be reasonable, that pressure to return to the rules of your father and the rules of a patriarchal society despite how living under those systems put you in harm's way in the first place, the lack of concern about your feelings of safety. I think that's an experience you are thrust into when it gets decided for you that you're female. And personally, I use Jason Todd being female-coded as a way for me to reclaim my trauma while recognizing it doesn't affect my gender. Jason is a guy. I'm a guy.
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AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?
(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)
[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]
I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.
Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.
I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.
First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.
Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.
These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.
So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.
I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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autispec-hours · 1 year
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am i the only one who’s really fucking tired of people being like “ oh these are traits of autism in FEMALES ( and afab trans and nonbinary people i guess ) ”
first , i should not have to be a footnote or a last minute inclusion in my own community , especially given the high percentage of trans non-binary and otherwise lgbt people who are autistic as compared to allistics . do you know how absolutely dehumanizing it is to be forgotten all the time by the people you’re supposed to trust and connect with . and if you are remembered you’re invariably lumped in with your AGAB , even if those traits don’t actually fit you
second , these traits aren’t inherently gendered in the first place . it’s about the way you were raised . my cis brothers have a lot of ‘ female ’ autism traits , and me and my cis sisters have a lot of ‘ male ’ autism traits . these things are normal and relatively common . yes , there is a correlation between the way society raises girls and boys differently and the way we develop socially , but acting like that’s an absolute is disingenuous , imo
i understand the need to separate it into categories . that’s natural for all human brains . but as we’ve all said many times before , autism is a spectrum . it’s never going to be one to one , for anybody . and i’m really tired of people subtly reinventing functioning labels over and over again , on top of it being a very obvious way to reinvent the gender binary
cause it very much ends up being ‘ female ’ autism that directly correlates to the high-functioning label , and ‘ male ’ autism that correlates to the low-functioning label . “ oh , girls are good at masking ” “ girls will make eye contact ” “ girls are just so quirkycute none of their traits are negative unless they mask too much uwu ” ( and you know they’re including trans men and AFAB non-binary people in ‘ girls ’ )
i don’t know how to fix this . i don’t know what to do about it . i just know that there’s a reason most of my friends are both autistic AND genderqueer . because some of y’all cis autistics really like your gender roles , and it’s incredibly alienating
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astr0exe · 4 months
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K9 [COD MEN (POLY??) X M!READER] : CH2
Ch.1 , Ch.2 , Ch.3
CAS’ MASTERLIST !!
reader is transmac and autistic cause i said so :)
AO3 VERSION : K9
SUMMARY: K9 gets to know the boys even if he doesnt know how to hold a conversation
(feeling so bored transferring all this)
(absolutely terrified that my writings bad but oh well)
(enjoy chapter two!!)
(projecting into the character againnnn)
CW : Swearing + reader vaping + Alcohol Consumption
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CHAPTER 2
Third Person POV :
As K9 sat down on the near-disintegrating couch next to Soap, Bucky decided to scour the room and hesitantly move towards the other men in the room. "Let's play a game so we can get to know each other!" Soap suggested excitedly. "Uhhh what's the game?" Gaz replied wearily, scared for what Soap had in mind.
“Never have I ever but as a drinking game? either that or truth or dare!” Soap nagged chuckling softly as he saw the fear in the boys' eyes.
”Umm sure why not I’ll play I wanted to get to know you all anyway..” K9 trailed off awkwardly squirming in his seat when everyone turned in surprise that he agreed.
”Well the boys don’t have a choice if you agree so!” he says as he stands, “let me go get the shot glasses and the alcohol and I will be right back! Don’t have too much fun without me!” he smirks as he walks out the room.
With Soap out of the room, it became deadly silent. Bucky padded over to Gaz slowly,” Hi boy, How's it going?” he addressed the dog, Bucky sniffed his hand and huffed calmly looking back to his owner for permission. K9 just smiled and nodded happy that his dog wasn’t ripping his team apart.
”He is really cute.” Gaz states, looking over at K9 noticing the chipped nail varnish he has on and his lack of eye contact. “Umm Yeah he has been there for me when I needed him” ___ responds softly, slowly they grab a vape from their pocket.
”Umm Do you guys mind if I use this in here I would smoke a cigarette but we are inside so this is my only option.” ___ asked carefully, afraid to offend his new team members.
”Nah we don’t mind lad.” Responded Ghost calmly, noticing how anxious K9 seemed.
Soap bounded back into the room excitedly, getting sniffed by Bucky as he placed the vodka and glasses on the creaking coffee table. “Okay let's get started!” Soap explained whilst pouring the drinks. “I’ll start, Never have I ever set fire to something out of boredom.” GazK9 and Soap both took a shot.
----- Time skip cause I cba writing the whole game -----
With everyone officially tipsy if not more drunk Gaz's gasped and asked brazenly, "K9 what's that flag on your jacket?!" with everyone in the room now looking at ___'s chest patch he knew he was going to have to explain.
"Umm it's the trans flag, I'm transmasculine. So I was born female at birth. I uh hope this doesn't effect your thoughts about me." K9 mumbled worried they would react badly. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as his bottom lip started quivering.
"Aww K9 come here," Soap started whilst opening his arms up to the near shaking man. "You're still a man bonnie {beauty}, I don't know about the others but I know that to me, you are still a lad." K9's tears started falling halfway through Soap's little speech, ___'s sobs racking his body, his tears soaking through Soap's t-shirt as they stayed huddled together. "Lad I don't think of you any differently. Thank you for telling us. Proud of you." Gaz explained kindly. Now all eyes were on Ghost.
"I couldn't care less what you have in your pants you're still a guy." Stated Ghost blandly but with a hint of softness. His eyes crinkled partially at the sides. Soap and K9 stayed cuddled up." Speaking of your pants ___ can I get in them handsome?" Soap flirted but K9 couldn't tell if he was joking or not and his whole face erupted into a red hue like a volcano, his brain short-circuiting. The boys all decided to tease ___ on the fact he looked like a tomato.
As the night grew later, everyone relaxed due to the company and the alcohol coursing through their veins, Ghost noticed Bucky nudging K9 with his nose. Confused Ghost strode over to where Soap and K9 were still cuddling and noticed he was asleep. Soap slowly stood up whilst holding ___ in his arms, smiling down at their resting form. Ghost and Gaz followed behind Soap with Bucky padding after his owner.
Walking through the near silent halls they mumbled between themselves,"K9 is gonna fit in great!" Gaz cheered. "Yeah he seems alright." whispered Ghost as he secretly admired the sleeping man. Soap just nodded, agreeing with them both.
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cy-cyborg · 8 months
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Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!
Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.
I only really have 3 suggestions:
decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.
Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.
Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.
Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:
Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.
I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.
Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias
Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.
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highlandkall · 9 months
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Ok I just watched @patricia-taxxon's new video [On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People] and I noticed that most of what she discussed were ideas I both understood and had assumed were intuitive with furry art.
So 3 years ago I made a video review of the manga Beastars (it's not public, wanna make a better version) and what I thought was so interesting about that story was the implication of a world where the animal aspect wasn't just symbolic in nature but a genuine attempt to present a "realistic" interpretation without compromising the symbology of the characters. Like having a YMCA for animals who get the zoomies is adorable. Or the way a seal reacted to watching someone trip in the same way a russian painter I worked with reacted to me saying "ope" here in the midwest. We even both made the exact same point about the infrastructure of Zootopia overcomplicating that story's world too!
At the time I had assumed folks understood that the appeal of furries was the abstraction and fantasy in the same way no one questions the animal people in a cartoon. The main appeal is aesthetic with the added bonus of imagining what it'd be like to be a fluffy little guy. As a result I figured the logic of that appeal could be transferred to adult content without causing any issues. So Beastars introducing anything that acknowledged them being animals without going too far like Zootopia, toeing that line between fantasy and "reality" felt novel. But now that I know I'm trans, autistic, and a furry I guess I shouldn't be too shocked there... idk, watching an impassioned defense of something I was already on the same page with, even before I had the words to describe it myself, was surreal in a fun way ^^
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driftwood-fireflies · 3 months
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any billy hcs?
OKAY I'm finly tackling this. lightning round.
I know that the general fandom perception of billy (in a few different circles anyway) is that he's trans, and I DO understand this. however it's not my personal headcanon. if you want to know why it's simply because the idea of him being a chaser is like insanely funny to me so. stu is trans and billy is weird about it. this is my dynamic.
as for sexuality, I've described this to people before, but to me he's bisexual on a technicality. what's that technicality? he REALLY thinks he likes women. like he's convinced himself he does. (he does not.) so like, if anything, he'd consider himself bisexual and so I call him bisexual. but. he's gay. dykwim.
anyway yes billy is a bi chaser and he is down horrible for stu though he can't really show it. I don't know if I even brought this up in my stu headcanons post but I do think they are BOTH autistic and bpd so they're really failmaxxing as a romantic duo
billyboy loomis is the undisputed mommy issues king, I think him and his mom were very close when he was a kid, like almost to the point where she was smothering him, but he loved her and became codependent with her. I think that's a theme for billy - codependency. he grew to be that way with his mom, and since I personally believe that him and stu have been friends since childhood, he also grew a little fascination with him at around the same time. he's always been Weird about stu in a myriad of ways, but the moment his mom abandoned him it was almost guaranteed that his closeness with him would turn into its own codependency. and it did.
I think his family has moved around a lot, only settling in woodsboro when he was maybe eleven or so. that's when he met stu.
I think they were both independently weird freaks of their own nature, as in, billy has always had his horror movie and psychology fascinations, but stu really amped up the crazy for him. like many people, I hc that stu is a big hunter and likely showed billy how to hunt and gut animals, and I even think he introduced him to the more gorey, less plot-centric horror movies that he loves. I also think the buck that they share was stu's initially, who then gave it to billy sometime after his mom left.
as for current day (read: 1996) stuff. a lot of people tend to stereotype stu as The horny one in their dynamic, but idk. they're both teenage boys and if anything, billy was the one trying the hardest to get laid in the movie lmfao. (I know there was an actual reason behind it but I do also think he just wanted to fuck lol) I think they're both raging horndogs and they rile each other up all the time.
we never see anyone but randy with an actual job, but I think billy's done some under the table type work around town. he strikes me as a guy who'd do good at a mechanic shop, or something. nothing too serious, just whenever he needed some pocket change he couldn't swipe from his dad.
as for horror movies... oh man.
billy is a real pretentious guy. he likes horror, he likes thrillers, but he's not as much of a gorehound as stu. that's not to say he doesn't like it - but it usually only interests him when it's the real deal. in terms of movies, he's actually your pretty generic film bro type, in that I think his top three are psycho, silence of the lambs, and the original house of wax. were he alive today, he'd be BIG into the 'elevated horror' genre, I think. think jordan peele and ari aster. overall he's a real snob about it, he can only get into a horror movie if the killer is someone he can idolize and get into the mind of. he's not a fan of monster movies, thinks it's scarier when the monster is just a regular guy. psychological horror is right up his alley, and I think he'd also love candyman for the way it combines artful and intriguing psychology into a more typically 'slasher' narrative.
I could talk about how billy watches horror movies forever but I'll move onto music so this post doesn't become a novel. I think he's big into rock, pretty similar to stu's taste in that regard. I think he'd really love green day, for sure. I also think he'd like the cure and REM, maybe soundgarden, too. he's really into anything moody or brooding in some way. besides rock though, I also think he enjoys older, more classical stuff. I could see him buying a film score cd and listening to it to sleep, or something.
SO. YEAH those are some of my billy hcs.. like I said w stu I have like a million thoughts about both of them that I couldn't possibly include in a single post so if you have any specific questions about stuff I didn't cover .. lmk ^_^
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drdemonprince · 5 months
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Something I think you're missing in how you talk about trans men: how recently you transitioned.
I came out circa 2007, and there was almost no information about us, no community where I lived (the local support group was all older trans women), no media outside of "Boys Don't Cry" and the way-better-but-still-basic "Parrotfish," no anything at all except TERF lesbian communities that coveted and hated us in equal measure, and general GSAs that were sweet, but dominated by cis people. I learned that the worst thing in the world I could be was a trans man - to be a trans man was to be a regressive agent of the patriarchy, and if I couldn't force myself to be nonbinary or a cis woman, I was evil.
In the early 2010s I attended a conference where a trans woman, a national celebrity I looked up to, made a joke about how useless trans men are during her keynote speech. I walked out of that room crying because as far as I knew, she was right - I was almost an elder by the standards of an atomized community where we were expected to die young, and even I couldn't name a single trans man in history who'd mattered.
We take it for granted now that trans men like Lou Sullivan made a difference, but to bring attention to him, folks like me had to swim upstream against a wave of accusations of misogyny from TERFs, and sometimes even from trans women. The acceptance you rejoice in at bathhouses? That was hard won through outreach by trans men. I even remember a specific trans male-run ambassador program in San Francisco circa 2013 dedicated to integrating trans men into the queer male community.
The world that's welcomed you was built by trans men who, like me, felt agonizingly alone and unwanted in both cis and trans communities. You paint a picture of lazy hangers-on who don't understand how good they have it, and maybe that's true for the folks you're looking at, but they don't reflect the hard work trans men have been putting in at every level of organizing for much longer than our efforts have been recognized. I've been involved in the fight for our liberation since I was a teenager, working on school and state-level policy change, medical access, the preservation of history, mentorship, dodging evictions, and all the little jobs my tired, autistic ass can take on, and I've never been rewarded for it outside the thanks of the people I've helped. All I ever wanted was to make things better for the generations that came after me.
I'd just like to have that reality acknowledged - that those of us who came before you built what you're now able to enjoy, and we can use that history to empower and encourage younger generations to continue doing the work instead of implying that no one's been doing it at all.
Thank you for this message. I would like to read a lot more about your perspective on this history. Please let me know your @ -- in private if you prefer. There are some elements of how this is framed here that do make me go, hm (the view was the worst thing you could be was a trans man?) but I am also appreciative of this this glimpse at what I don't know I don't know, and am interested to learn more about it.
But I also want to push back against the idea that I have no knowledge of how things were during the times you're talking about -- I was a queer, gender-questioning adult at that time too, and I was active in many trans spaces.
My medical transition is very recent in the grand scheme of things but I've been rolling deep with trans guys and going to trans masc events since 2003-2004 (in Cleveland and Columbus). I remember how the not-full-blown TERFY yet still very toxic radfems spoke about men, sexually preyed upon trans guys in some cases, and sometimes said things critical of transition. I knew several trans guys who had quite a guilt complex about becoming a "man" because they had internalized that men were inherently predatory and evil. Personally, I'd always thought that line of thinking was absurd and a very poor excuse for feminism, so it didn't get under my skin in the same way. Instead of making me not want to be a man, it made me not want to be a feminist. Which is pretty typical sexist bro shit to do really. Again, no big evidence of transmisandry here. certainly experiences that were emotionally very fraught and challenging for people, but not misandry or transmisandry.
These queer and feminist groups that I moved within were VASTLY more exclusionary to the trans femmes in the city, who were not even permitted to attend events for sexual assault survivors in the Columbus scene. I DID see trans women on the social periphery of these groups be discouraged from transitioning, and I did hear just about every vile transmisogynistic slur and exclusionary idea you can think of be passed around by many without challenge.
The transmisogyny stood out to me even back then as particularly egregious and rampant -- it disgusted me and caused me to distance myself from those groups of people in 2007-8. It was the outspoken hatred of anyone with an "amab" body and frothing transmisogyny that made me not want to be associated with that crowd or to contemplate transition, honestly -- not any kind of widespread anti-transmasc sentiment. These groups held top surgery fundraisers and hormone start date celebrates for trans guys and expressed desire for trans men openly and included them warmly in just about everything while treating trans women like predators and telling them they should just be feminine men (far, far away from them).
So my experience just does not track with what you are saying. I imagine we have two very different vantage points on similar periods of time, and I think there certainly is a lot more about trans masc history I could stand to learn and so many trans masc elders' whose names I should be putting more respect on. And I'd be very open to hearing more about that from you. But I do have to push back against the characterization of the era as someone who very much was there.
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psi-spectacular · 4 months
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Since I saw @kibasniper111 do this for the campers, I wanna do some headcanons I have for the interns! Also they get sadder as you go down, be warned.
Raz
Trans kid who's fully accepted by his parents. Sorry I just really can't see the aquatos being transphobic and genuinely don't think transphobia is super common in the psychonauts universe? He's unlabeled at the moment and uses he/him pronouns.
Nona mixing up Raz's name with his brothers is because her brain had to connect Raz now having a boy name and connecting that to the other brothers so shes just a lil confused but shes got the spirit
He has (currently) undiagnosed autism, mostly because 1. there is no way the aquato family is able to afford a psychologist but 2. Augustus is also autistic and they have similar mannerisms, sensory issues, and stims so most of the family doesnt suspect that Raz is neurodivergent, they just think he takes after his father.
His helmet and googles are very much comfort items, but they also help with sensory issues. While they block out noise and reduce color in the area around him if needed, his helmet also stops him from constantly hearing the thoughts of others, which can easily overwhelm him.
He's mostly able to speak to smaller animals, mainly rodents like mice, rats, and squirrels, since they were the ones that were most common at different areas he would travel too.
He fell into water and almost drowned when he was little and that was the biggest thing that spurred the "hand of galocchio" thing.
Raz spent a lot of time in libraries and bookstores in the many towns he's traveled to in between practice and shows, and that was the way he discovered both his love for psychology and true psychic tales.
Raz is sensory seeking and douses everything he eats in hot sauce and spices. He'll try pretty much anything as long as its free and remotely edible. This extends to touch, he likes rubbing his hands on textured surfaces, especially velvet and fur.
He rubs his gloves on his face, bites, and scratches at them when he's stressed, so they're worn down where he's done it.
He has a plush toy Nona made him when he was a baby that used to be a rabbit but it's been repeatedly bitten, crushed, splattered in mud, and fixed so many times that it barely looks like a specific thing anymore, But he refuses to part with it no matter what.
His relationship with the junior agents goes from "eugh its weird having a kid here, we can't swear anymore." to "hello, this is our emotional support 10 year old, his name is shitfuck, we feed him moss, he's the golden retriver that keeps the cheetahs in our hearts from going insane, we constantly make fun of him and if you do anything to hurt his feelings no one will find your body."
Dona taught him how to forage and cook when he was little.
He enjoys dressing up and acting out roles whenever he can, and is very quick on his feet with his roles. He gets into LARPing later in life.
Raz doesn't have a specific specialty, so he's a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to powers.
Morris
Another trans dude, Wowza. He's been out for a shorter time than Raz, but he's pretty comfortable with where he is right now. He's also bi! Woo.
He's peruvian, and was orphaned at a very young age before being adopted at around age 5 by his moms. He's currently 16.
He was one of Milla's orphans, but he was very young when the fire happened and he doesn't remember what happened or Milla, but his back did get injured in the fire and never fully healed, and that's why he's in the wheelchair.
His moms are rockabillies who own a motorcycle repair shop in the outskirts of Trujillo, They're big into 50's american culture and almost always have the radio on to whatever rock station is playing at the time, which helped inspire his love of radio and older fashion style. The albums he plays on KLOB are the only ones they let him bring because they were copies of records they already had.
He has a regular wheelchair with, you know, wheels, but when he fully learned levitation he found it easier to move around with a chair on a lev ball, especially on rougher terrain, so thats what he usually uses.
Despite his amount of Rizz he has no clue that Adam has a crush on him (not totally his fault, Adam's attempts of flirting are stuttery at best). He's just. Slightly oblivious to the feelings of others.
He acts like he doesnt care what people think. He very much does, and has some very overcompetative tendancies.
He and Gisu met in the motherlobe and have been part of the intern program for the longest, spending three years doing dumb shit in the woods while brushing off their intern duties or whatever they are.
He immediately took Queepie under his wing and they end up becoming really good friends, even if he isn't the greatest DJ. Cause he's, yknow, like 8.
Gisu
She/Her Intersex transmasc bisexual. Binds.
She's an Iranian immigrant who lives in a small town in the midwest, Same town as Lizzie and Norma. They're families know each other and they're childhood friends.
AuDHD and NPD.
She's an only child and lives with her mother and grandparents. She's slightly spoiled and they pretty much let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't get arrested.
She's autistic and has a special interest in paleontology and robotics. She was part of her school's robotics team before joining the psychonauts.
She's very much a romantic, but tends to leap into crushes quickly and gets her heart broken.
Speaking of, she and Norma are QPPs.
Morris and her are besties and each others hypeman.
She has a tendency to work on her projects late into the night to the point of not noticing that its three in the morning by the time she finishes something.
She's easily able to focus on something that interests her, but if she doesn't think its something she would like to do, she procrastinates and avoids it like the plague. She gets easily distracted when she finally does get started.
Has a fursona. Its an otter.
BIG Boy band fan. All paul but also n-street, synced up boys, and whatever she can get her hands on. She doesn't care if its considered "trashy", it sounds good to her ears!
Also daft punk.
She loves Dion for his lack of swag and dumb barry b benson ass expressions
She was raised muslim and is personally agnostic but Sam convinced her Jesus and Moses were psychic and she constantly pisses Norma (catholic) off by bringing it up.
She's smart and gets good grades but doesn't have much respect for authority. She has A's and B's despite skipping most of her classes.
Adam
Transfem gay, but currently unaware of his gender, mostly from repression and not feeling the need to go too far inward. (Dont all guys wish they could wake up in the body of a girl and have no one question it and call him a she?) She/He, 16 years old.
She's from a rich, very influential family in britan known for having a lot of successful and gifted members. There's a lot of push for all the kids to do something "big" with their lives, and many begin to achieve that at very young, most having scholarships and awards at young ages.
And then there's Adam. Her biggest achievements are being
Truman's intern and that time she reached the quarterfinals of the county debate tournament. She's surrounded by ivy bound prodigies and musical geniuses and she's just… some history buff. She fades into the background noise, and feels like she's failing her family despite his best efforts.
Not fully conscious of the amount of wealth his family has. What do you mean your family doesn't send you 80 dollar tea overseas every month?
On a lighter note, He's taken it upon himself to become a bit of a "big brother" to Raz because he has a sibling around his age and he reminds her of them. She's trying to teach him how to play tetris. • As mentioned before, he has a crush on Morris but is terrible at flirting. He's one of Morris' few listeners on KLOB, but mostly does it because he enjoys hearing his voice.
She and Lizzie are absolutely TOIGHT. Lizzie immediately pinned her as a dweeb first time they met and she was right. They became a lot friendlier over time and were pen pals when Adam went back home after their first year.
Adam's eyes are all funky because he's got extra strong aura reading abilities, but the downside is that he basically goes blind for a while sometimes and has to orient around the world by seeing others auras and how they reflect off and affect objects.
Had a cringey katana-and-fedora phase when she was like 13. He tries to repress the memory. Her friends won't let her live it down because they have photo evidence.
Telekinesis specialist
Sam
CW For parental neglect, bullying, and parentification. Hoo boy lotta thoughts here.
Genderfluid Xenogendered Lesbian but not fully out to people who aren't the other junior agents. 14 and uses any pronouns but mainly she/her publicly.
Her family life is... strained. She lives in a pretty small town in the middle of nowhere, southeast america. Her family was normal when she still felt like a kid, but after Dogen acidentally blew up a bullies head, it became a frantic rush of lawyers, policemen, and hospital visits.
Since her parents were frequently away trying to figure out ways to mitigate Dogens abilities and find ways to settle the lawsuit they got, Sam would spend many hours alone. She quickly had to figure out how to cook and gather food outside to sustain herself because they would sometimes be in too much of a rush to prepare anything or be gone for longer than expected.
As things started to calm down, her parents would leave her alone with Dogen while they went off doing whatever else, and when they came back they would be too tired or too stressed to help her with anything.
She spent most of her days in the companionship of animals, almost always got up whenever Dogen was hungry or sick or had a nightmare, just to feed him and make sure he was okay.
Her parents basically treated her like a third adult when she was like 10, venting to her and letting her do most of the chores in the house when they were away, and they never really left her with a babysitter because she's "so mature for her age".
She has a strong fear of developing it herself, so she represses her anger. When someone is being mean to her and she starts focusing more on not blowing up than whats happening so she gets an unfocused look which leads to more teasing.
She eventually decided to just play into the "stupid weird girl" role, hoping being the butt of a joke in a friend group and making people laugh would help ease up her anger if she just laughs it off as her being dumb. (This ended up leaking into her and Norma's relationship and was part of the reason why they broke up.)
She did actually get in prison! She had a meltdown when the teasing became too much and attacked one of the girls in her "friend" group. She got sent to juvie for that. Her parents had to get a lot of recommendations from Compton to get her into the intern program and send her away.
The anxiety is genetic!!! Yayyyy!! Same with the autism.
Her trauma's left her with a very dysfunctional view of relationships and uses the animals as a way to feel like she has some control over her life and that she isn't a servant, she can lead too and help others improve themselves. This ended up leaking into
Heavy backstory stuff outta the way, back to the present. Sam's nickname is barncat because she runs off in the middle of the night and comes back the day after covered in mud and whatever else. She's basically made herself queen of the questionable area and forages for food and scrap metal at night. also she occasionally hacks up hairballs. no one wants to know why
Despite her.. questionable pancakes, Sam is actually a very good chef! She's just better at using more dubious ingredients.
She has PCOS and is on birth control to regulate it (projecting...)
Also IBS! She gets random tummy aches a lot and has zero clue why it happens.
Sam's kinlist includes raku chan gregor samsa and that canary she saw once when she was a kid
Sam constantly masks back home and the motherlobe is the only place she feels she can be weird and free. She used to have longer hair but she lopped it off sometime during her internship because dysphoria (i hc its like end of summer so near the end of the intern program that year)
Sam ends up deciding to become Raz's weird older sister. Sam has no braincells, raz simultaneously has a lot of and no braincells at the same time, but when they're together they somehow add up to -7. She gives Raz advice that ranges from suprisingly helpful to very dubious
She really does love her grandpa, even if she's seen less and less of him throughout her life.
Her specialty is zoolingualism, but I think she'd be skilled at abilities that require her hands, like Psi-Punch and confusion bombs. She used mental connection to create a lasso of sorts she calls "critical thinking" which lets her lasso enemies and tie them down.
Norma
Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.
Norma's a trans girl, who uses she/her pronouns exclusively. She's a lesbian, 15 years old. She's also Afro-Filipina.
I've mentioned this, but her mother is the mayor of the town they're from. They've very much in the higher rung of their town when it comes to wealth.
Norma's mother is very cold and analytical, constantly seeing most things she does as transactional. Every positive interaction is a step towards a vote, every negative action reflects badly on her status. Average politician. This extends to her daughters and how she expects them to act.
She's the kid that's always trying to be on her parents good side, because failure isnt tolerated in their family and definite high expectations for both sisters and how they're supposed to behave. The two of them constantly needed to fight to get their mothers affection and love. But Lizzie's pretty much given up on trying to appease her, so despite her powers being seen as "less rare", she's the preferred child now.
Her mom uses her as a token of "I'm not transphobic! I have a trans kid!" Despite, in private, constantly misgendering her and insisting she barely change her name (norman to norma) You know how transphobes are a minority in this verse? Yeeep. Its better for her mom to pretend her views are something else so she can get more votes.
Should I add the two of them had a catholic upbringing? Big amount of guilt on her end but at the same time a sense of superiority and entitlement. She's devout and retreats into religious studies as a coping mechanism
Raz makes her feel threatened in her status as "#1 student" and she's very aggressive about it.
She's still not over her and Sam's breakup and is slowly starting to obsess over her and why it ended.
Norma is a big fan of detective shows like Columbo, Sherlock, and Death Book. She absolutely wants to be a detective and solve mysteries, part of the reason why she joined the intern program.
She has NPD, BPD, Autism, and struggles with insomnia.
Despite her last name, neutral to christmas.
Shes a teachers pet and would remind the teacher of the homework just to piss a specific person off.
Touch averse, only lets people she trusts touch her.
She's a closet weeb and uses her psychic abilities to make her glasses glow like an anime character
She has a sherlock based tumblr (or livejournal or whatever you want them to use) and gets into ship discourse at 3 am. She also writes amateur death note yaoi. On paper. She gets so embarassed about it she burns it as soon as she's done.
She misses the time she spend with her sister and envies how much freedom she has from rebelling against her parents. She wishes she could do the same but also wishes they could go back to normal so Lizzie can have a seat at the dinner table again.
She can do glassblowing with her hands.
Lizzie
Same CWs as Norma, Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.
She's closeted genderqueer and a lesbian, uses They/She pronouns. She and Norma are twins but Norma insists she's the older one.
She's just given up on her relationship with her parents. No matter what they do, she isn't going to go back to constant competition and stress. She doesn't want that anymore. The Natividad sisters give off "rich parents in a gated community" vibes but Lizzie abhors their entire lifestyle and spends like 90% of her time outside the house doing random shit
She's realized the privilege that comes with her position, and decided to hang out more in punk spaces and with kids considered "teen delinquents" or "the wrong crowd".
She prefers dumpsterdiving and thrifting over the stuff her parents buy her, stitching and crafting her own clothes is an act of rebellion because they constantly scold her for wearing "Rags".
Her parents finally gave up, deciding to go "Fine, you want to be stubborn? We'll just pretend you don't exist." They give her somewhere to live but otherwise don't acknowledge her existence in the family until she learns to behave. She created a second hangout spot in an abandoned building with her friends and she'd spend long hours there.
She'd rather be a high school slacker who hangs out with poorer punk kids who arent "in the right groups" and actually have a social life than fighting for the spot of "perfect precious angel child" for the rest of her life. No matter how many punishments they give her. She won't let anyone know, but the way her parents treat and talk about her really hurts.
She has undying hatred for hostile architecture and drags Norma along to melt the spikes.
She fake smokes. Using candy cigarettes and using her powers to make smoke because it makes her look cool but she doesn't want lung cancer.
Very into Christmas but more into the gift making and pagan traditions.
She reads vampire romance novels for flirting tips (and also cuz they're her guilty pleasure). She also pretends to be a vampire sometimes.
She enjoys going cryptid hunting and scouring local forums for information.
Hates wearing fancy dresses. Ripped up skirts and suits ONLY.
Introduced Norma to anime, favorite is Akira and fave manga is Battle Angel Alita.
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safety-pin-punk · 2 months
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Hey Key,
It feels appropriate to ask you whether I can vent this but I figure tumblr anon communication is a bit slow.
So I was on my way back to my college town on Easter Monday
An acquaintance (not friend) of mine visited family in the same city so we decided to take a train together
Frame of reference: I’m 25NB, she’s 20FTM (she prefers her feminine given name and she/her since she isn’t actively transitioning yet)
We are both physically disabled and mentally ill
Being the queer neurodivergent I am, I went !!! at her and immediately started talking because hey, commonalities!
Half an hour in we moved on from physical disability to talking about the mental stuff and I mention I’m self-do autistic. And she goes “Nah. You can’t be.” And I go “Huh?” “You’re too talkative! You’re ADHD, yes, but you are too social and talkative to be autistic.”
Like… gee, man, maybe because we have met a few times and immediately clocked you as queer and neurodivergent? You think that might be why I’m comfortable talking rapid-fire?
“Nah, we don’t know each other that well, so that can’t be it.”
Right… and then she told me she doesn’t “want to endorse self-dx” because she thinks she might be hypochondriac and therefor any and all self-dx or preemptive diagnose “might make things worse because I think it’s worse than it is”
Like, yes, I understand and she explained she does experience psychosomatic symptoms in response to being stressed/ burnt out. I don’t deny psychosomatic responses. I believe that.
But also she straight-up refuses to look up anything that might help her?? When we were talking about physical disability (we both have chronic pain) I immediately pulled out my phone to send some coping ressources and self-help stuff
And she went “no, I never look at [coping] things, I worry if I read that, I will just convince myself that I’m worse than I actually am.”
Which, okay, reasonable boundary…
I told her about how I started using a walking cane, on my own, decided for myself that it helps. And also how most of my splints/ bandages are self-bought and self-administered because no doctor acknowledged my chronic pain so far.
And she goes “I sometimes have days where I have to drag my leg. I’m like-paraplegic when my psychosomatic symptoms get to their worst. But I would never use a cane! I don’t want to stand out, you know? I don’t want to catch attention.”
And I’m sitting there screaming internally like “You are entitled to be seen! You deserve accommodations! You just said some days you could use a wheelchair!! What the FUCK?!”
Yeah… and the longer our talk goes on, the more I read between the lines that she believes “if I do everything right, it will mostly go away”
Like, she forced herself to stick to “fibro-diet” to combat her rheuma and fibro, which is great on the surface. And then she tells me she forces herself out of bed and forces herself to cook, even if she doesn’t feel like eating, but she just pushes through because “the anti/inflammation diet can help with rheumatism”
And just– …my internal screaming continued.
I don’t want to dislike her! I recognise she’s young(er) and she’s naive and blue-eyed. While I’m just a cynic who’s been depressed for the majority of my life and I stopped giving a fuck about “not standing out” because my neurodivergent ass is too autistic and too ADHD to interact with people without standing out
Like, I’m ““high-functioning”” but at the same time I’m the kind of autistic who never had the chance to fit in. I have always been and will always be “the standoffish weird kid”.
But I just feel bad for her and at the same time I know I don’t want to become friends with someone who’s this blue-eyed “it will all be good if I just do the right thing”
I’m frustrated with her as an acquaintance and I just know if she tries to become my friend I have to give her sooooo many lectures
Among all these other things about how she is allowed to be non-binary and how she doesn’t need HRT to be trans and how she doesn’t have to cower in fear of changes HRT would do to her body because even if she’s binary FTM nobody’s forcing her to go on testo.
Just… so much frustration after this one 3h train ride :/
Fully agree, tumblr anon communication is very slow. Especially on my blog. I go through moods where I answer a bunch of things at once and then dont for a while. (sorry) Long post under cut
First of all, I am so sorry about your friend invalidating your self-dx autism. Personally I'm all for self-dx, anyone whose dealt with doctors long enough knows how hard, how many hoops you have to jump through, and the amount of time and money required to get diagnosed with ANYTHING. I've definitely dealt with my fair share of non-medical professionals telling me both "You dont have this thing I have" but also "You definitely have this thing I dont have".
I see why you are frustrated by someone seemingly not wanting to help themselves. But it seems like she is trying, she just has never been exposed to the right resources to help her. Its kinda like. I went to a SUPER christian university, and there was this gay guy, wonderful dude. His view of his own queerness though? I had only read about people like him online until I met him. He was a pastors son, his whole life he grew up knowing that being gay was wrong and bad. He never had access to the resources he needed to learn how to love that part of himself. Not his own fault at all, but by the time he got to college, there was no changing his views. He now goes around preaching to other kids about his experiences being gay and how he represses it because God. He absolutely broke my heart.
My point it, your friend is young and naieve. She probably has never had access to the resources and information you have. Her experiences have probably been *wildly* different from yours. You can't force a 'fuck it' attitude onto someone like that. You just kinda have to wait and hope they grow into it on their own. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with someone like that though. You are responsible for currating your own social experiences. I completely understand your frustration with the whole situation though.
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