#whats worse for julien is that he was a part of the group

[thesinglesjukebox]

BOYGENIUS - "NOT STRONG ENOUGH"

Smokin' in the boys' room...

[6.35]

Tara Hillegeist: Like much of boygenius' output, group name included, this is sublime hangout music with pretenses towards something sublimated -- pretenses that just about manage to get in the way of the autumn-sunset-at-lakeside vibes the group's folksy gestures are set on evoking, instead, before falling apart in the face of that sideways glance of a crescendo this song calls a bridge. But it's hard for me to argue with the evidence at hand that boygenius' reason for being is a sound one. Imagine if all the anhedonia we shared with each other could sound this sweet; maybe that less-lonely world would have need of fewer critics. [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: I've been working on a Boygenius essay all year, that I may or may not publish; how I relate to, differ from, and yes, envy their collective gender presentation as a trans woman. I've written 4,000 words, a lot of which are probably filled with tangents and redundancies, but very little is about the music. That's because, for the most part, The Record is an unapologetic major-label victory lap, where the three musketeers indulge in mushy love songs for one another and celebrate their bond. It's impossible to tell who wrote what, as the trio peacefully melt into one another until they're a massive sapphic hydra. "Not Strong Enough" soars above all this, Sheryl Crow allusion and all, because it's just a good pop song. It doesn't have the wit or emotional resonance of their best individual material, but it does have a hook worthy of Crow and some great ear candy (the pumping sweep effect at 2:07, Lucy Dacus' echoing ad-lib of "go home alone"). Also, Julien Baker name-drops "Boys Don't Cry" over the chords of "Just Like Heaven." Nice! [7]

Michael Hong: On their lead tringle, you can trace the songwriting down to each member: Julien Baker's nihilistic self-disgust is present under the messy "$20," Phoebe Bridgers is blunt despite all apologies on "Emily, I'm Sorry," and Lucy Dacus' "True Blue" is laced with rich detail -- except when it isn't. "True Blue" cops out on the bridge. "You've never done me wrong, except for that one time / that we don't talk about," an awkward aside for anyone who hasn't been disillusioned by the group's PR campaign. "Not Strong Enough" attempts to split the songwriting and in the process lands with the same issues. Its in-jokes and references are played without so much of a wink, too serious to sound clever. While the three-part harmony at the tail of the bridge is a nice reminder of the distinctions of each vocalist, their verses are economical to the point that individual characteristics, for better or for worse, are difficult to trace in the song. [4]

Alfred Soto: Bored by the well-intentioned poignancy of their solo music, I was surprised by the speed at which I fell in love with boygenius' group work. They love performing their intimacy -- can you imagine how queerness might've advanced had, say, CSN&Y bussed each other on stage? "Not Strong Enough" marries a strong strummed melody to lyrics that take advantage of Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, and Phoebe Bridges' harmonic strengths, a pleasure in itself. The plainspoken confessions match the women's timbres. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: Remember when Chance the Rapper decided to make a great pop rap album as the rapping member of the SoX Experiment and people wanted the next Chance solo album instead and then he did that and y'all hated him more and more? Pray this don't happen to Phoebe Bridgers. [7]

Crystal Leww: Women can be fuckboys, too -- set to guitar! [2]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The closer that these three get to being an actual band, the more they leave me cold. I loved their EP from half a decade ago in part because it kept the essential character of each songwriter intact -- these were demos that they had brought to their friends to finish up, not hivemind exercises. Despite working with musicians I like (can we just hear the Melina Duterte/Sarah Tudzin/Carla Azar trio instead?) and doing everything they're supposed to do as an artistic unit (If I have to hear about the three of them going to therapy together again I'll have to go to therapy myself), the returns still diminish. "Not Strong Enough" is neither good enough to save rock music nor bad enough to capsize it. Instead, it's a charmingly indistinct piece of big gesture indie, the kind of song that I can intellectually understand the appeal of while feeling nothing for. It's end credits music, a slow fade that, for all of my wishing, won't ever be fireworks. [4]

Ian Mathers: It is hard to avoid the "people are so weird about this band" field boygenius generates now to just write about the song. But I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need that (to those shouting "skill issue" or "you deliberately haven't been paying attention to that stuff"... I see you, and you're valid). I listen to boygenius as a band, not some weird referendum on who's solo stuff I like best. And so with "Not Strong Enough" I just hear a lovely and frequently moving song where all three singers get to take a good chorus around the block, and all of them nail it in different ways. The only extra commentary I want is the line from Bridgers I saw quoted on Genius: "Self-hatred is a god complex sometimes." It sure fucking is! [9]

Katherine St Asaph: I just think of the thousands of singer-songwriters who get a fraction of their press, while making music that isn't bland. [4]

Aaron Bergstrom: The boygenius project could have been a success even if it never exceeded the sum of its parts. It could have been a long-distance book club and mutual admiration society, three wildly talented songwriters who occasionally got together to sing backing vocals on each other's songs. Maybe it stops there. Even the most like-minded artists can't always find the same creative wavelength. It happens. When the first three singles from the record were very clearly The Julien Song, The Phoebe Song, and The Lucy Song, it wasn't necessarily a disappointment (all three are excellent in their own right). It just felt like the group had a ceiling. "Not Strong Enough," though, points to something bigger. It's the first song that sounds like boygenius as a band. It's a song that none of them could have produced individually. The titular hook is Phoebe's, the "always an angel, never a god" climax is Lucy's, and Julien's guitar holds it together (plus she gets to drag race through the canyon singing "Boys Don't Cry"). There's a collective joy, a thrill of possibility, something above and beyond their individual brilliance. Listen to them talk about it. It's cool that they played Madison Square Garden, and Saturday Night Live, and it's great that they're going to be near the top of every year-end list that anybody cares about, but none of that explains why this was The Year of Boygenius as definitively as "the way Phoebe looks at Lucy when she talks about songwriting." [10]

Leela Grace: In fall 2017 I called my friend from where I was camping in Montana and said, "I heard a song that reminded me of us!" and I sang her the verse from "Funeral" that ends with "we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves/then we laugh until it disappears." This year we got married. The members of Boygenius have sad-girl brands musically but together, their extratextual joy makes its way into the harmonies. Finding people who understand you is such a rare and special thing, in whatever form it takes, for however long it lasts, and sadness shared is easier to bear. Maybe you can't control when people leave you or the marks they'll leave on you: you are always an angel, never a god. But when you sing together you come close. [9]

Josh Love: The Record is a real "greater than the sum of its parts" type of album. Over the course of its whole running time, the camaraderie and charm of these three women swapping songs and verses, harmonizing and singing background on each other's cuts, communicates something far more resonant than a single isolated song. There's not even a Lucy Dacus verse! The greater magic here is how these three roughly similar artists can each evince such distinct personae, to the extent that it's incredibly easy to attest to an allegiance for any one of them above the other two. I went into boygenius sure I was a Phoebe, but now I'm convinced I'm a Julien. [7]

Tim de Reuse: Gorgeous, lush -- antiseptically corporate. A paint-by-numbers masterpiece in half-formed suburban anxieties. A sleek vehicle assembled by collage: the indie rock appeal to road trips, the indie rock domestic imagery, the indie rock rousing chantalong. I, too, have spent many nights staring at a ceiling fan and catastrophizing. It didn't sound like a delicate synth arpeggio. I don't think something this grandiose would comfort me, either. [4]

Oliver Maier: I don't really agree with the critique that boygenius is total wallpaper mood music; they're not here, anyway. The production is satisfying and crisp, the drums clatter compellingly, as if unable or unwilling to find a firm footing on the beat, and there's no denying the swoop of the chorus melody. But, since by ideology there's no jostling for space on a boygenius song, accomodating everyone makes "Not Strong Enough" feel like a whistle-stop insecurity sightseeing tour, where nobody has time to explore their stop. Julien Baker revs up a car crash fantasy that vanishes into the hook. Phoebe Bridgers' lyrical style -- rushes of home video vignettes designed to push out the waterworks -- doesn't always land for me, but she usually has more lines than this to give it a fair shake. As for the Lucy-led bridge...well, I'm sure it sounded cool in their heads. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: Designed more for Red Rocks than for headphones, the "angel/god" chant-along is the record's most obvious effort to transcend the comforting strictures of indie rock nichedom and instead seat the trio in their rightful place as arena rock eminences. It doesn't exactly do that, mainly because it telegraphs its intent too cleanly and presents too big of a contrast with the rest of the track's artful self-effacing. The good news for Boygenius is that it didn't need to do that, because everything that came before that point in the song was already grand and sweeping and buoyantly pensive enough to make any U2 comparisons seem beside the point. (Sorry, I'm not strong enough to avoid making a U2 comparison.) [7]

Brad Shoup: Along with Drop Nineteens' "Gal," one of two alt-rock tracks I'm aware of from this year that references a Cure song. I love how magisterial this sounds--elevated adult alternative -- how everyone gets to step into the light. "Always an angel/Never a god" seemed like a weird complaint to me at first -- I'd much rather be an angel, people don't get mad at you -- but I was missing the theme. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: That acoustic guitar is strummed with enough vim that you can feel every clang. It provides an initial pulse, then too the bassline and snare. Everything just keeps marching along, traces of beauty found amid the doldrums: listen to those electric guitar flutters, arriving like sunlight upon your face; hear the way each vocalist's timbre provides new shades of beige. It has an everyday beauty that hides everyday pain. And then the bridge arrives: bullshit tedium in the name of profundity. Always content with the fine-enough, boygenius draw emotion from a vacantness that I wish were all-consuming. Those flickering synths announce a precious listlessness that reminds you that there's more -- I just wish it weren't so A24 meets Hallmark. [3]

Jonathan Bradley: "I don't know why I am the way I am," the Boys sing in turn, their thoughts so dislocated from their surroundings that walking through the kitchen might as well be speeding along a highway. An insistent drum rhythm hustles the decidedly gentle guitar arrangement, capturing with unsettling precision the feel of being completely lost while the world is rushing headlong without you. [8]

Jeffrey Brister: Writing about exactly WHY I like a song can be so difficult, because I love this one. It has a lush, full, utterly beautiful arrangement--an array of guitar sounds layered over one another, with a the right amount of synth flourishes that let the ear wander and notice things on repeated listens. Tightly played drums that aren't too reverb-drenched, dry enough to sit in the middle of the mix without overwhelming or getting lost, an anchor holding the song in place. Three incredible vocal performances, each pulling out different aspects of the melody, and singing in brilliant harmony. A structure that builds and breaks, that drives and explodes with melancholy. It's a song that I would simply say is "gorgeous", and leave it at that, but I feel like I wanted a bit of a word count. [9]

Will Adams: Eh, it's pretty, I guess. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#boygenius #julien baker #lucy dacus #phoebe bridgers #music #folk music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[bitcofun]

Happy Bitcoin Pizza Day! Prior to you call for a Margherita to celebrate the world's very first real-world Bitcoin deal, here's a piece of trivia: What do a household vacation to Japan, a 50 Cent album, a steak supper, and a framed feline image all share? They were all spent for with Bitcoin ( BTC) by members of the Cointelegraph Bitcoin neighborhood! And much like the Bitcoin pizzas that expense 10,000 BTC, which are now worth more than $300 million, the neighborhood's Bitcoin purchases have actually likewise escalated. Benjamin de Waal, the VP of Engineering at Bitcoin exchange Swan Bitcoin informed Cointelegraph, "I invested 7 BTC on a household journey to Japan a couple of years back." In today's worth, 7 BTC deserves well over $200,000-- however Ben's delighted since his kids enjoy: " It would have deserved a lot more now; however I do not regret it at all. A great youth filled with experience, enjoyable, and knowing is invaluable." Felix Crisan, the fraudster vigilante, informed Cointelegraph how he when invested 50 BTC (worth $1.5 million) establishing a brand-new software application module for his business in2015 Crisan included that in 2016: " Let's not forget some nearly 1BTC 'invested' wagering who the next United States president's going to be." [...] Of course, I didn't win." That's a $30,000 bet at BTC's present market value. Jeffrey Albus, Editor at Cointelegraph, shared that he sprinkled out on a steak supper to show Bitcoin's peer-to-peer abilities "at some point in 2011 or early 2012." " We paid 15 BTC-- 12 for the meal, plus 3 BTC left as a pointer (which the waitress most likely got rid of.)" Worse still, the worth of 15 BTC back over 10 years back was so little that it disappointed the overall expense: Albus needed to top it up with excellent old greenbacks. The worth of the Bitcoiner-appropriate steak supper is now worth shy of half a million dollars. In a word to the smart, Julien Liniger, CEO of Swiss Bitcoin exchange Relai-- and a Bitcoin maximalist through and through, informed Cointelegraph that he "purchased a bitcoin hoodie for 0.1 BTC back thens, however that was the last thing"-- an approximately $3,000 hoodie. He discussed that "it then ended up being too silly of a thing to me to invest rather of stack sats." Meanwhile, the group at CoinCorner, the UK Bitcoin exchange behind the contactless Lightning Network payment card, shared a couple of stories. Danny Scott, the CEO, purchased the 50 Cent album "Animal Ambition" with Bitcoin when the marketplace rate was around $600 50 Cent notoriously " forgot" he accepted 700 BTC for the album-- let's hope Scott forgets the missed out on gains, too! Molly Spiers, CoinCorner's Head of Marketing, informed Cointelegraph, "I purchased an image postcard of my felines [...] for 0.009 BTC." The $270 postcard was regretfully insufficient for Spiers to keep a hold of it; 'I've lost them someplace for many years - I 'd have framed them with pride!" Fortunately, there are "no remorses," as it does "produce a great story." Plus, she shared a photo of the felines: Molly Spier's felines. The image postcard is regretfully lost. Source: Molly Spiers While "try out Bitcoin as a currency," Matthew Ward, CoinCorner's software application designer, informed Cointelegraph that he "purchased the video game Cities Skylines back when it released on Steam in March 2015 for 0.108 BTC." You can be the judge of whether the graphics warrant a $3,000 price: Cities Skylines gameplay. Source: themacgames.net Finally, Didi Taihuttu, referred to as the dad of the Bitcoin Family and often the Bitcoin tattoo man, invested 2.75 BTC on a Bitcoin miner in2014 Taihuttu informed Cointelegraph that "the strangest part is that when BTC struck around $200, I quit mining BTC and began to mine dogecoin ( DOGE)." Had he held the BTC, he would have more than $180,000 Related: Try topping this: PizzaDAO commemorating Bitcoin Pizza Day with 100 celebrations around the world Taihuttu likewise

shared that throughout his experiences as The Bitcoin Family, he's parted with over 9 BTC ($270,000), which he refers to as "losing 9 BTC however acquiring a fantastic experience." And for those questioning what took place to the 10,000 BTC Hanyecz invested in the pizzas, according to Cointelegraph research study, 5% of the overall landed in a really rich wallet, while " a few of the funds were apparently liquidated" on a stopped working crypto exchange. The rich wallet that devoured on a few of Hanyecz's BTC remains in the top 15 wealthiest wallets in Bitcoin, building up over 53,000 BTC. The overall invested or sent out from the wallet is 0 BTC: a qualified Bitcoin hodler. Read More

[octopunkmedia]

LIVESCREAMERS CAST! 

In advance of our upcoming IndieGogo campaign for Livescreamers, I want to share the full new cast for the film!

Livescreamers is the next feature horror film from Octopunk Media and today I can announce the full cast! This ensemble of actors makes up the fictional "Janus Gaming" team, a group of gaming content creators who fight for their lives against a haunted video game. The film is a found footage adventure that combines live action performances with custom gameplay built in Unreal Engine.

CAST AND CHARACTER DETAILS UNDER THE CUT

Leading is Michael Smallwood from Halloween Kills as "Nemo," a reserved member of the group who struggles to reconcile his desire to be liked by the audience with the traumas his audience has weighed on him. Next we have

 Neoma Sanchez as "Lucy," a shy young fan who visits the studio for the day. Of course, she picks the day where everyone's lives are threatened by a murdering game...but what can you do?

Christopher Trindade & Evan Michael Pearce make up the dynamic duo of "Jon" and "Davey," two best friends who share a webcam. Davey, always a coward during horror games, commentates over Jon's gameplay. Their fame hinges on their relationship, for better or for worse.

Anna Lin is "Zelda," a bona fide gamer girl from birth with a bubbly, positive personality. The only thing that gets her miffed is when bros try to stump her with Nintendo trivia. 

I'm so excited to reunite with Jillian Geurts as "Gwen," especially since the Hell House LLC movies made her no stranger to found footage. Gwen is an ambitious and intelligent woman who is often reduced to being judged only on her looks. She is also married to her teammate, Taylor.

Next we have Maddox Julien Slide as "Dice," a queer powerhouse who dominates the team with raw skill. Although often misunderstood by their peers and audience alike, Dice is firm in their convictions and their self esteem.

Horror veteran Lukas Hassel is "Mitch," the founder of Janus Gaming who has grown reserved and cynical with the challenging decisions he's made to keep his team afloat. You might know Lukas from The Blacklist or the upcoming Shudder movie Slapface!

And finally there's Coby Oram as Gwen's husband "Taylor," the handsome and charismatic fangirl favorite, who is equal parts sweet and chaotic.

#christopher trindade #michael smallwood #lukas hassel #livescream #livescreamers #jillian geurts #octopunk media #mj slide #anna lin #neoma sanchez #coby oram #evan michael pearce #horror #found footage #unreal engine

[clandestine-j]

GOSSIP GIRL, EP. 5 REACTION & REVIEW

alright

this episode was pretty good, i'm here for this vibe if they continue with it. lots of shit happened, i have feelings about it so lets go!

(this episode also helped me discover i really am a horrible person lol)

ADULTS:

NICK X KATE: Nope! Full stop, don't want it. Bitch you nasty for being friendly with him while posting about his daughter. Nick x Davis is the true otp.

JORDAN & CO: JAIL. Plain and simple, ya'll enjoying this too much. Jail. Please. I beg. Ya'll are sick. A gun in a school and you're Bruce Wayne? Bitch.

KATE: As stated above and addition, I started to be cool with you. You still have to go jail but after serving time, I might be cool with you afterwards. Then you flip flop again went back to doing the worst. Limiting the comments doesn't help. Raggedy.

RAFA: PRISON. And let me tell you, my boy, Aki, he got Fox News in the back of his pocket so, step the fuck back. That's why Max figured yo ass out. GO TO PRISON. PRISON. And he tried to play him for a fool at the end. Prison isn't enough, vanish.

KIKI: SIS! You gotta get it together for your daughter. She can't be the more but, I feel you. Do better, be better. It's not as easy as just saying it but if you have family you can rely on, start to rely. You're daughter her habits from you.

OUR KIDS:

JULIEN: BIG SISTER ENGERY THIS EPISODE. I'M LOVING IT AND LOVING IT. I think she can stop trying a bit now and but I'm here for the connection, I'm here for it all. Quick thinker, knew the circle wasn't tight. She wasn't really there for Audrey but she has been, I think she just got caught up. Since Zoya moved there, they haven't had the chance to just be sisters, to just love each other without any drama. They have not only the past month to make up for but years and she wants to do right by Zoya. I'm glad she realized at the end that, she needed to be there for Audrey but I'm not upset because I get it. I also LOVE that she finally, stood up to Monet and say and get wit it or get it out. Boom. I've been waiting.

OBIE: I wanna ride hard for you because people keep talking about your hair line. I think you need to learn that relationships will have ups and downs and it won't be perfect all of the time. I feel like Obie is chasing perfection, no fights, no problems, just coasting and it won't happen, it'll never happen. Do better. That being said, I'm glad we got something from Obie. I'm glad we got to see him being the Prince of New York. It's hella shady that you didn't just come out with the truth and you wanted to do a song and dance but Obie is doing more and using that name so yes, give me character stuff.

MONET: BYE. No, but really. Amazing one liners as always. I liked the little fight with Julien, I felt a bit of distress, I'm into it. While I did expect her to cross Julien, I didn't expect her to cross Luna and all her hard work, that was dirty but you moving the story and shit so what can I say? I don't think Monet will go for the crown but I could see her finding someone to prop up. I want more of her parents, maybe she has a very bad relationship with her mom? Also, sis, Julien is right, you can't keep jumping clients when they want to change and do up their image. No sis, no. (And you almost tanked Julien's career soooooooooooo)

AUDREY: SIS U WERE SINKING. Okay, so Audrey isn't a character I feel that connected too. She's bitchy, a little less than Lunet but still. So, I have a hard time caring but objectively, you should break up with Aki. You know him by now and maybe it's comfort or you really want to have something. It's okay, break up with him because he's a friend and not the boyfriend you need. You want someone who will let you vent, not solve. Not see. Go live with Julien. The fight with your mom is understandable (And realize that forcing people on her won't work.) because you shouldn't have to be the back bone of the family. The dad line was a low blow, the airport thing was a low blow but you're a teenage girl and what can I say? Nothing, just don't become the woman you hate even though parents are the models. That being said, if I had seen her interacting with her dad more, the line wouldn't have been as low. But I can't tell that he loves her, we don't even get a phone conversation. Do better writers. And I think at the party, she got a chance to see how her mom felt. I don't know what happened to move but I think it has something to do with her meds. Audrey, be a boss. Break up, tell him that ya'll are better as friends because it won't go has bad as you think it will. Move in with Julien (I just want to see it happen.)

ZOYA: I don't even have much to say. My sis was popping off this episode. I got sass, I got questioning her relationship with Obie. Yes, talk about how you feel about him with the girls and go girl stuff. I really felt her when she said she wanted her own friend, writers please give her, her own friends. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING. Simon, you dirty dog. I'm glad Obie got it out but he could've said something to her. I'm sick. I'm more upset that he wasn't a new friend or a love interest. Just ugh. But I liked Zoya this episode, she could worry about normal teenage stuff for the most part without having to worry about being attacked by Monet and Luna.

LUNA: MY GOOD SIS. Just like I didn't expect Monet to turn on her, I didn't expect her to not stand by Monet. I know she was enjoying the Zoya vibe and thought it was cute, she was becoming a bit more friendly sure but I wow, yas. Go off girl. I want to see more of fashion stylist Luna, a Luna sponsored fashion show where Aki models and drama happens? I'd be here for it, I am here for it.

MAX: I was ready to box. Listen. I was ready to fight this point as much as I felt for him. So, the feeling for him. He honestly, believes that Rafa is good for him. And he was catching feelings? He thought Rafa needed him in his life because he had no family, he also has no family in a sense to him at least. So, he's really caught up in this man. And I feel so bad that he said he's sober when he's with him or something along those lines. That's heartbreaking. I'm glad that talk in the end pulled him out of it, I'm glad he realized that he had a hand to play in his friends not wanting to be around him or deal with him. I'm glad he followed them and was in on the hug. Wonderful. Now my dude, you do not deserve Aki, not as a romantic partner or a friend. My boy was seriously worried, and you blew down on him WHILE using a nickname for his nickname....sick. I was ready to throw hands, like. My spirit was not right. That was so low. I keep seeing people say that because Max wasn't in a relationship, Audrey shouldn't feel some type of way and Aki is just letting his hurt roll off because he's worried but while you didn't have a duty in the relationship, you had a duty as a friend, to both of them. You ghost for a week and say nothing, no talking about the blow up or the outing and you running with this little stanky thing, you try to ease back into the group, no. And you still don't deserve Aki's time. Like. My dude did not hit you up after the kiss, he was not checking for you on that dating app, he was interested in other mens, you sat between the couple. Okay. He had been checking on you from jump. Just no. I'm sick of the shit. Never step to my boy like that again.

AKI: MY boy. Lemme get this out the way. You need to listen, not solve or give perspective. Like, she doesn't need it. I get your friends in danger but express how serious you think this is to her. I get that a long-distance relationship might not bother you and you think things will work out because there are bigger problems but talk to her. Re-assure her. Or break up with her her. As I said before, ya'll will not hate each other if you break up. And learn to just, even, pretend or something but you struggle in this aspect. Do better. That being said, Aki, episode MVP. He said, something is off, take him down. My perfect himbo man, said not my watch. And listen, you can't be as pushy because people don't respond but I'm glad you were on it. You knew. You said, I'mma run up on this man and you did. Yes. That being said, stand up for yourself, this boy does not deserve your energy. I get it. You might have a crush, this is bestie but bestie has not been treating you right for a while. And this was a new love. You're too loving, let some of that going at Rafa energy pop out around the friend group. But you a king and you care so much, just re-focus for now. Find you a cute lil thang and make the boy jelly. I need this resolved before I can accept anything canon, fanfics is where I'll be. But overall, Aki was making moves, you gotta learn something from the right wing media mogul.

GROUP: I finally feel like I talk about them as a whole. I wish they would've shown the others being upset by Max's ghosting because ya'll acting lowkey outta pocket and I didn't see anyone but Audrey and Aki check for this boy. Like, do you really care? But he fit into the group hug at the end. I know Monet saw a rising star in Zoya at the bar place, you make this a powerful DUO. YOU KNOW YOU WERE FEELING HER. Luna and Monet roll their eyes Audrey but ya'll bet not play like the three of ya'll don't enjoy gossip, fashion, talking about people and lowkey making fun of Zoya's newbie-ness together. Honestly, I'm happy we got more group interactions and little moments, I can start to kind of see how they were friends for a while even if all of them aren't close.

Random Thoughts:

how was your son missing for two weeks on and off and there isn't more panic, you different but oh no heartbreak

aki is so loving towards everyone's parents, i love it

i also love that he assumed max was with aki

audrey as the child as it worse but her kiki's acting makes me feel for her more lol

the two girls were a bit of fun, i'd like to see monet take them down or build them up for fun

"i'm chuck bass" + the lil pull was great

i feel like max was already thinking about them becoming more when he mentioned audrey pushing him out but i'll take crumbs so he was probs just thinking about sex or the group as a whole

kate get out of nick's life, nick keep her out

zoya stop talking to that woman

jordan eww no, you can have kate

i'll ship obie and aki to get aki with someone that likes him and loves him, they talk, they have do something, i'll take it, whatever

i want throuple and i want akimax but not like this, i can't take the threesome scene unless max say's sorry and aki ducks him for half the episode if it's not that, i don't want it

maybe it's the start of a dream and it ends

(i do really want the ship but i don't trust the writers or the characters)

SIMON, I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

who or what was max suppose to be?

why am i getting teachers and not family, i've seen jordan just one too many times

rafa prison

obie had shit to do this episode, use the money, i wanna see it

when will a student or random party gain control of gossip girl, give me that

rafa prison

i also think i’m a horrible person because i care more about stopping rafa than audrey’s home life so i was rooting for aki

overall, solid episode, maybe the footing has been found? i'm here for it and ep 6 looks like it's about to pop off

#c;gg #gossip girl reboot #gossip girl hbo #akeno menzies #max wolfe #zoya lott #monet de haan #audrey hope #luna la #obie bergmann iv #julien calloway

[wehatejulietsimms]

A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.

Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠

A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.

🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠

A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.

🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠

A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)

🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠

A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.

#submission #anonymous

[ice-emperor-zane]

ninjago atla au update: Fire Lord Garmadon, Azula!Harumi, and Misako’s evil plan™️, and then more about Zane and Cole from the picrews:

Okay so, we start off with Misako’s role in Garmadon and Harumi’s plan (cuz in this au we’re not going to pretend shes a nice person). You know how in ninjago, up until season 2, she was doing research on ninjago’s history and that island the overlord lived on? Well here, she’s been researching on the history of the avatars all her life, and has learnt of how Avatar Aang was able to spiritbend Fire Lord Ozai’s Firebending away, and how Avatar Korra nearly had her bending taken away by the bloodbender known as Amon, how in the days of avatar Won, bending was given/taken away from people constantly. Misako wanted to utilise the power of giving/taking bending away to the fullest, to have spiritbender/bloodbender governments and law enforcements who could take away the bending of those who step out of line and to give bending to those who are loyal.

In the age of the Avatar prior to Lloyd (Avatar Zavier) Misako befriended Zavier and convinced him to learn spiritbending so he could give Misako waterbending and give Misako’s daughter, the Fire Lord’s child, Harumi, firebending. Misako’s excuse was that they were both born non-benders and it wasn’t really acceptable in the royal family for them to be anything other than benders, especially the heir, and the public weren’t aware Harumi wasn’t born a bender, Zavier made them both benders. He died an early death not long after this, so he never learnt of Misako’s plan to make bending a privilege and to use it as a rewards/punishment system. Avatar Lloyd was born shortly after, though of course, he was far too young to understand what was going on. Fire Lord Garmadon was of course 200% supportive of Misako’s ideas, and he no doubt planned to use the spiritbending/bloodbending method of giving/taking away bending for evil reasons™️ like removing the bending from entire other nations unless they pledge allegiance to him.

Harumi didn’t take too much convincing to think that it was a great idea, not only was she like 9 at the time, but because she had been gotten her firebending abilities later than everyone else, training-wise she was behind all the other kids her age, she could never be as perfect as she should be and she hated that more than anything else. Her hatred for her lack of natural skill and her want to wipe the smiles off all the other kid’s faces made her an extreme perfectionist who never ever stopped practicing. She became a firebending master at age 14, with the blue flames Azula had in atla (caused by extremely strong hatred for something or someone).

Now we get onto some more info about Zane and Cole based on the picrews.

You know the avatar before Lloyd? Avatar Zavier? That was Dr Julien’s son, Zane was created as a replacement to help Dr Julien cope with his grief, and also in the hopes that Zane could acomplish what Zavier always wanted to as an avatar but couldn’t (to protect those who cannot protect themselves). Zane, Jay, and Cole grew up together, but to Zane, it always felt as though Cole and Jay were best friends and he was a third wheel, so he jumped at the chance to go go the northern water tribe after discovering he was a waterbender. He’s spent the past 3 years or so of his life mastering waterbending, and honestly, he’s been a lot happier there than he ever was in Zaofu. He’s found that waterbending came naturally to him and he’s already one of the best in the tribe, hes best friends with the princess of the northern water tribe, Princess Pixl. Things are going great for him. But he can’t help but feel as though he’s not doing what he’s meant to be doing, because he’s meant to be protecting people, thats his purpose, and he’s finding it really difficult to accept that he deserves happiness too.

And now, Cole. Growing up, Zaofu had been hell, its the city made of metal and he cant metalbend, it made him feel so useless. Combine that with his airbender father, who despised that his son couldn’t airbend because it made Cole a far worse dancer (Lou is still part of the royal blacksmiths, they’re a group of Airbenders who use their bending and the extra agility/gracefulness it gives them to do dancemoves that would be impossible to a non-airbender). Of course, Cole, an earthbender, is Lou’s complete opposite, but that didnt stop Lou from forcing Cole to try to learn to dance. The standards were just so high and he hated it. Albeit Cole became quite a good dancer, but the amount of extra training he’d been forced to take, the amount of ridicule he got from others for not being able to do what they could, the extent at which it made him hate himself and how he’d been born, it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t fit in with anyone arround him, except Jay, Zane, and his mom. He doesn’t know how he would’ve survived without those guys. This all comes off in his fighting style, most earthbenders use a strong wise stance and face things head-on, Cole is more prone to airbending techniques, he only actually uses earthbending to create last-minute walls/shields, he usually uses evasive manoeuvres until the opponent tires themself out. This makes him exceptionally powerful, and I don’t think anyone at Zaofu ever took notice of that (even Jay and Zane thought he was kinda weak, fighting-wise, considering he couldn’t metalbend nor was he as agile as his father hoped), but as Bumi said, earthbending is based on neutral-jing, and Cole’s techniques feel a lot more neutral than just punching stuff. And Iroh said to draw strength from many places, and considering that earthbending and airbending are opposites, it seems like a good place to look. When Cole left Zaofu to go to republic city, he was looking for people who appreciate him more, and, I’d like to think he found that in the Smith Siblings.

Oki heres some more picrews, here we have Avatar Zavier, Harumi, and Pixl (you’re gonna hear a lot more about Pixl)

#before yall say in the comments its Xavier not Zavier yeah buddy i know. it was an intentional choice ok #Zavier has more Zane energy. gotta get those zzzs #lego #ninjago #lego ninjago #harumi garmadon #harumi ninjago #lord garmadon #garmadon ninjago #misako montgomery garmadon #misako ninjago #zane julien #zane ninjago #cole brookstone #cole ninjago #atla!ninjago #atla au

[malumsmermaid]

Summer Days

Part of the 5SOS writer collab headed up by @h0tsos​ and @maluminspace​

Based on the prompt “I don’t know if you noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”

Camp Counselors Malum

Writing Collab Masterlist

Warnings: None! All Fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

After a semester of student teaching for one of their college courses, it was time for summer, and Calum and Michael had decided to stay in town and hold down the apartment for their other two roommates who were electing to go home. Once finals had wrapped up and they said goodbye to the classes they’d been working with they began looking for jobs. They were both sitting in bed together when Michael found an available job working a summer day camp. The pair talked about it for a few minutes before applying, assuming playing games and mainly supervising kids would be easier than lesson planning and having to actually teach things. Plus they were excited by the possibility of seeing some of their kids again, so Calum pulled out his laptop and they sat side by side as they applied.

After about two weeks it was clear that this was different. For one thing, due to low staffing, the kids were all split up into three groups instead of one group per grade level. So now, even though Michael and Calum recognized some of the kids in their group, some of those kids who were bearable during the school year now had some slight sibling drama. Then there were the parents, something Michael and Calum had yet to deal with. Half of them were fine, nice people who cared about their kids and were happy to hear about their day during pick up. The other half, however, was a mix of Karens and Beckys, some of them stay at home moms who were just getting the kids out of the house so that they could go have margs with their girl friends and have a spa day to wash away the stress of the thought of them actually being parents. Some of them even had Michael wondering if he should go to the pharmacy and get a second flu shot for that year. 

However, despite some of the parents they had to deal with and the occasional drama, both sibling spats and between groups of friends, Michael and Calum were really enjoying their summer job. They kept up their school year tradition of every other payday one taking the other out for a date night, whether it was as simple as going out to dinner and a movie, or a sunset picnic, or a nice night in the bowling alley. 

It was five weeks in, and even with kids coming and going with the weeks, some just disappearing for a one week vacation, others having other camps to go to, things had steadied. It was a rainy Friday at the start of the Fourth of July weekend, so attendance was low to begin with, some kids leaving early. A few of the kids who were there were upset over swim time being cancelled on account of the thunder, but Calum had run down to the gym, claiming it for their group as a replacement for the hour of swimming. 

Calum gone to set up the games and the crafts set up on the counter to dry until parents came, Michael and the other leader started a round of Heads Up Seven Up to keep things quiet and calm until Calum said he was ready. Finally, Calum radioed down that everything was ready and Michael got all the kids lined up, hovering to the back of the line as they made their way through the rec center to the gym. Once in the gym, the kids all gathered around Calum and he smiled saying, “Ok, since it’s a small group today, we’re doing stations. We’ve got two boxes of four square, two spots for basketball games, and then some jump ropes and hula hoops. I’m gonna put on some music and whenever it stops you have to move to a new station, alright?” The kids all cheered and Calum smiled continuing, “Alright, I’m going to give you each a number and that’s going to be the station you’re starting at, ok?”

Once the kids were all split up into groups and ready to start, Calum made his way over to the radio, pulling up a Kidz Bop only playlist on his phone that was already connected to the AUX jack and hitting play. The two men hovered around each other, eyes on the playing kids. After a few songs Michael hummed, “Can’t wait to go home and make dinner with legitimately any other playlist on.”

Calum smirked, hand coyly reaching up to rub Michael’s back, “Bold of you to assume that I won’t overtake the speaker and put this right back on.”

Michael shot his boyfriend a sharp look, filled with a threat that he couldn’t voice at work. Calum just bit his lip in response, pausing the music before a fifth song could play and calling out “Time to switch!”

They made it through three station changes before one of the kids from Michael’s class earlier that year came running over, “Mr. Michael!!! Come play HORSE with us!!”

Michael gave Calum a wide eyed stare as the other kids in the group came running over, grabbing him by his hands and dragging him over to their half of the basketball court.  He ended up making the first few easy shots, but then one of the kids made a shot from beyond the foul line. Calum could read the anxiety in his boyfriend’s face when it was his turn, silently begging the younger man to change stations early to rescue him. 

Calum, however, remained strong, knowing an army of upset kids was worse than Michael missing the shot. At least, until he watched the blonde’s feet slip out from under him as he shot, toppling backwards onto the floor as the basketball fell to the ground halfway between him and the hoop. 

Calum quickly jogged over, phone left on top of the radio. He helped Michael to his feet, the pair holding on maybe a second or two longer than necessary before Calum pulled away, “Need an ice pack?” he teased lightly as Michael rubbed the back of his head.

“Nah, I think I’ll live,” the blonde returned, smiling as the kids checked on him too. “Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do, but especially with sports stuff.”

The kids all giggled at Michael’s response and Calum hummed. “Fine, I guess we can swap, then. Mike, you run the music and I’ll play HORSE. We’ve got until the end of this song before they need to switch again.”

Michael gave his boyfriend a teasing salute before going over to the music, tapping the screen to see how long until the song was over. He hummed as he saw texts from their group chat with Luke and Ashton. As soon as the song was over he paused the new one and made the switch stations call. Once the kids were all moving in the same direction, Calum getting pulled into four square, Michael opened the texts, using Calum’s passcode. He skimmed the latest line from Ashton, something about one of his plants. Michael just opened Calum’s camera, pulling the phone super close to his face for a picture. 

Can’t talk, working right now. Plant update t-minus 3 hours. 

As soon as the message sent Michael put the phone back down, watching on as Calum tried to take it easy on the kids, even if none of them returned the favor.  Calum ended up trapped at four square for the rest of the time in the gym, Michael jumping when he realized it was ten minutes past when they were supposed to be having afternoon snack. Calum gathered a kid from each group to help him get everything back in the equipment room, everything going away much quicker than it had come out, and soon enough they were back in the classroom.

Two hours later and there were three kids left out of all the groups, other leaders leaving Calum and Michael to wait with the kids in the game room while they cleaned the classrooms before clocking out. Calum was sitting in one of the chairs in front of a tv, a kid next to him in another chair as they played minecraft. Michael was sitting at the table with the other two kids, signout book by his elbow as he colored with them. Soon enough the two kids with Michael were going home with their stepdad and Michael picked up the crayons and extra sheets of paper. Once they were back in the closet he picked up the binder and meandered over to the xbox station.

Calum let out an exasperated sigh as Michael leaned up against the back of his chair, knocking down a stair block again. “Julien how do you get the stairs to go upside down like that dude?”

“You jus gotta fly over and like, plop a block and then aim for the top.” Julien explained.

“Oh gosh, I keep forgetting that we can fly right now...how do I do that again?”

Michael snorted and Calum spun around, giving him his best puppy eyes as he pouted, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” 

Michael chuckled softly as Calum repeated his earlier statement back to him. He shoved down the temptation to kiss the pout off of Calum’s lips, instead turning to look at Julien, “Are you enjoying explaining how to play Minecraft to Mr. Calum, Julien, or would you like some actual help with your treehouse?”

Julien’s face lit up as he looked up at Michael, “Please??”

Calum just shook his head in defeat, handing the controller over as Michael pulled up another chair, setting the binder in Calum’s lap as he leaned forward, listening as Julien explained his vision for the treehouse project.

Right as Calum was about to call the main office to let them know that there was still one kid at their site, Julien’s mom came running in. They chatted for a minute, Julien excitedly telling his mom about beating Michael at HORSE “because he fell down and Mr. Calum had to take over.”

Once Julien was sure he had all his stuff and they’d cleaned up, Michael and Calum went into the office, signing onto the tablet to log their hours for the day before making their way to the car. As they sat in their seats, Michael queuing up music for the drive home, Calum turned in his seat asking, “Does your head still hurt from knocking against the floor, Mikey?”

Michael hummed, glancing towards his boyfriend and then the ceiling as he pretended to think, “Maybe a little…”

Calum grinned, leaning over, gently pushing Michael’s head so he could smooch the back of it. “Better?” 

Michael smiled, shaking his head no and tapping his cheek next, then his nose, and then his lips, each one following a new kiss from Calum in the previously tapped place. Michael sighed when Calum broke the kiss to his lips too soon for his liking. “More kisses when we get home, I promise.” Calum teased easily, finally pulling his seatbelt over his shoulder.

“I can live with that. Want me to teach you Minecraft after dinner, or were you enjoying Julien telling you what to do?”

“Maybe if you can properly motivate me I’ll learn it.” Calum said, wiggling his dark eyebrows at Michael.

“So long as you don’t forget afterwards,” Michael said, grin spreading his cheeks as he put the car in drive and began the route home.

Writer Discord: @cashtonasfuck​ @kingcals​ @koalacal @loveroflrh​ @goth5sos​ @irwinkitten​ @5-secondsofcolor​ @5sosnsfw​ @punkrockpreferences​ @gigglyirwin​ @fallinluke​ @calumcest​ @catearscliffo​ @mermaidcashton​ @spicycal​ @sublimehood​ @shal-pal​ @queer-5sos​ @mysticalhood​ @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles​ @castaway-cashton​ @jae-writes-fanfiction​ @sexgodashton​ @vipclifford​ @adoringlrh​

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#calum hood #michael clifford #malum #calum hood fluff #michael clifford fluff #malum fluff #5sos writing collab

[julienschuester]

KISS IT BETTER

WHO: @ivystjamess & @julienschuester WHERE: st. james residence WHEN: 10/08, evening WHAT: after a brutal tennis match between ivy and darcy that resulted in baby raine’s...beheading...julien goes to ivy’s to comfort her on his birthday.

JULIEN: When Ivy stormed out of glee club rehearsal after everything that had gone down between her and the Canaries, Julien wanted nothing more than to follow her out of the choir room and comfort her. He felt guilty about everything that had happened with Darcy and the last thing he wanted was for Ivy to be upset or worse…upset at him. But when Dan took the floor and announced that it was best to let Ivy cool off, Julien wilted. He stayed put in his seat and although he was pretty downtrodden through practice, he powered through it. Once it was over, Julien hitched a ride with Dan back to the Schuester residence where a birthday dinner was already made and presents were wrapped and ready to be exchanged. Julien put on a smile for his parents and siblings as he went through the motions of a traditional Schuester birthday celebration until finally, he was granted permission to be excused. He wanted to be more present and engaged during his little family party, but all he could think about was Ivy. How was she? Had she iced her bruises? Had the Canaries done more harm than she’d let on? He was spiraling in a mess of ‘what ifs’ and knew the only way his brain would calm was if he saw her.  Julien ran up the stairs to his bedroom and quickly changed into some casual grey sweatpants, his favorite hockey sweatshirt and his glasses. He was already half way out the door, ignoring his mom’s ’where are you going?’ when he realized he’d forgotten a hat. Oh well. Julien didn’t like driving a car that had the word cheater scrawled into the side, but these were desperate times. He got into the Schuester mobile, which now had fresh wheels thanks to Julien’s summer savings, and sped to Ivy’s in record time. He parked a couple of blocks away (just in case her parents were around) and lightly jogged the rest of the way to her house. He moved stealthily once he reached her yard, doing his best to avoid any light sensors as he made his way through the bushes towards Ivy’s window. Jackpot. There she was, hunched over her desk doing what Julien could only assume was homework. He took in the sight of her for a moment, heart racing as a goofy smile danced its way on to his lips. Even angry and pouty, Julien couldn’t get enough of that face. Don’t get distracted, he reminded himself. Right. He took a deep breath and braced himself for the physically demanding task that was scaling the side of her house and then he was off. He had done the climb a couple of times before and it got easier each time...but not easy enough. He made it to her window in minutes and once he reached it, he tapped twice before he started trying to pry it open himself. “You gotta let me in legs,” he whisper yelled, slightly straining to keep himself up, “it’s my birthday wish.”

IVY: Tonight now marked twice in a row that Julien had come to her house tapping on her window. If Come to my Window hadn't been an anthem for sapphics everywhere for the better part of the last 50 years, Ivy probably already would have been preparing an arrangement for her and Julien. Her heart just wasn't in it tonight. After the worst day in what was shaping up to be a horrible week, Ivy had no song in her heart. Not only was a duet arrangement out of the question, but so was social interaction. It was so cruel of fate to not only give her a baby to tend to after the summer she had, but it was crueler to have it taken from her, and cruelest for everything to have blown up on Julien's birthday. She had pinky promised him not to be mad at him on his birthday, which she totally broke during glee club earlier. That bummed her out even more. With some time and cooling down, to no one's surprise, Ivy wasn't angry. Just hurt. Hurt Darcy had masterfully pulled off a villainous scheme, hurt that none of her teammates seemed to care, and hurt that Julien couldn't step up to the plate and defend her. It was all too much. Joey had texted her a few times about arranging a funeral for Raine over the weekend, but she left him on read. Everything about this situation was tender and she just wasn't feeling like herself. She cashed in on skipping both glee and Grease rehearsal and went home almost instantly where she dove into trying to do her homework. It was a slow and strenuous effort. It felt like anytime she got a good pace going, something set off the tears. Whether it be the envelope with Julien's birthday present sitting pretty on her desk, moving her rapidly bruising body in the wrong way, or the eerie absence of Raine's oh-so-annoying cries, there always seemed to be something that triggered the waterworks. Luckily, when Julien asked to be let in, Ivy was about an hour past her last cry session. For a brief moment, she stared at him dubiously until he clarified it was a birthday wish. Shoot. She couldn’t turn down a birthday wish. Wincing slightly as she rose, Ivy moved to open her window and help Julien climb in. Once he was in safely, Ivy filled the silence with the soft sounds of her shutting her window, closing the curtains, locking both her doors, then putting on some music to mask their inevitable conversation. She gave room for Julien to begin first, but painfully aware of the fact he wasn’t the most articulate, she broke the ice by grabbing the holographic red envelope with Julien and an assortment of hearts scribbled onto it. It wasn’t Ivy’s best gift, but she was confident her boyfriend would be happy to attend a Blackhawks game. She held out the envelope with an almost somber, “Happy Birthday.” This was the extension of her olive branch. Just to be explicit though, she added, “Sorry for calling you a musical slut and a cheater and like all that stuff. I didn’t mean it. I was just like being stupid.” she murmured, wincing once again as she sat on the foot of her bed. “Are you gonna open it?”

JULIEN: For a split second, Julien thought Ivy wasn’t going to let him in. He was moments away from panicking and probably tumbling down to the ground when she finally moved from her seat and opened the window. Once Julien was on his feet inside her bedroom, he wiped the beads of sweat forming on his forehead from the physical exertion and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger. As he smoothed out his sweatshirt and caught his breath, Ivy moved around the room like a busy body, taking all the necessary precautions to make sure they weren’t caught by her parents or sister. His eyes followed her as she moved around the room. Ever since they had officially gotten together, Julien felt inexplicably more self-conscious about saying the right things. Maybe self-conscious wasn’t the right word…but he just wanted to make Ivy happy. Getting to this point in their relationship had been a long and dramatic road, so the last thing he wanted to do was mess it up by acting rashly or doing something dumb. So as he stood there, letting his bottom teeth graze his top lip as he performed mental gymnastics trying to figure out where to start, Ivy took the lead by sticking a red envelope in his general direction. “For me?” he asked, almost surprised by the gesture, “woooow.” Julien stared at the envelope in complete awe before he even looked at what was inside. Whatever it was, it was from Ivy. To him. It could’ve been a $2 bill and he would’ve been over the moon. Before he could open it, Ivy was apologizing for what had gone down earlier in the choir room. A warmth filled his chest as she took back all of the things she’d said. It was water under the bridge for him. “You don’t have to say sorry,” he assured her, glancing down at the envelope again, “I’m sorry—“ but before he could say it, she was asking him to open the gift. Okay, maybe his apology could wait. He somewhat carelessly ripped open the envelope (but not before admiring all the little hearts she’d drawn around his name on the back of it) and quickly removed the two tickets that were inside it. He stared at them, mouth agape, for a second too long as he slowly read over the words. Blackhawks vs. Blue Jackets. A genuinely touched smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked up at her. “Ivy,” he cooed, quite literally fighting the urge to dance in place by excitedly making his way to the foot of her bed and sitting next to her, “this is the best gift. Did you know I’ve never been to a Blackhawks game? You’re seriously the best, I love—“ a pause as he let out a bashful little laugh and cleared his throat, “I love it. I really love it. I can’t wait to ask the prettiest girl in school if she’ll go with me…” He turned to look at Ivy then, his eyes notably softening when it dawned on him how sad she still looked. He put the tickets back in the envelope and then placed it down on the bed before giving Ivy his undivided attention. “I’m really sorry, legs,” he started, gently reaching up and placing his hand on the side of her head to softly strum her cheek and her hair, “what happened to you today was…so messed up. The next time I see Darcy…” Julien wasn’t an angry person, but now that he’d had some time to process, even saying her name left a bad taste in his mouth, “I’m gonna give her a piece of my mind. You didn’t deserve that. And I’m…” it felt silly to say, but it needed to be said, “I’m sorry about Raine. I know he was just a robot baby, but still.” Julien was great with words when it came to group pep talks, but he notably struggled with being articulate in more intimate one on one conversations. “I’m just sorry,” he concluded, holding her gaze before letting his eyes assess the damage done to her by tennis balls. “I want to hug you or hold you or something but I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted, clocking the welts on her arm. Looking around, he scooted back on her bed until he could lean back against her pillows. “Come here,” he urged her, opening his arms, “birthday wish.”

IVY: This birthday wish business was going to be the death of Ivy. It had landed Julien, cute as ever, in the center of her room. From the way he pushed up his glasses to the way his sweatshirt hung over his frame made it increasingly difficult for Ivy to feel as sad. Though, as much as she apologized and engaged in conversation, nothing could stuff those sad feelings back into her heart. Julien's response to her apology in addition to his own brief one had her feeling a little better. Despite that sadness lingering, Julien's smile when he opened the envelope to the tickets momentarily made this horrendous day feel entirely worth it. With his smile like Christmas Morning and his eyes like Fourth of July fireworks, Ivy was hardly thinking about apologies. The way Julien said her name made her heart pound desperately in her chest. She was glad he liked the tickets so much. As he sat beside her, definitely a little needy, Ivy grabbed hold of his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Maybe had she not felt so off she would have been more vocal. That wasn't the case, so instead she sought comfort in Julien's touch and provided him with a soft "No, I didn't know you've never been, I just like assumed you would have by now." His 'I love--' resulted in Ivy lifting her head to look at him. Was he about to--? No. He loved the gift. A lot. Clearly. Maybe the tickets were a better gift than she had initially anticipated. Now looking at him, Ivy felt a warmth that enabled her to smile. "Hm, well I hope she says yes because I heard she's like totally cute in a hockey jersey." Ivy said very seriously. The burst of feel good energy faded quickly as Julien once again brought up the events of the day.  Still, she leaned into his touch and hummed softly at his claim he was going to give Darcy a piece of his mind. Ivy didn't entirely believe that, but didn't want to complain either. Her and Leo always fought when she brought up things like this that upset her. She didn't want to be dramatic and let the same happen with her and Julien. He was too special. Remaining quiet for a moment as she tried to find the right words, Ivy hummed to herself again.  "We really like, don't have to talk about it. Seriously. It's like so totally...yesterday's news." she insisted after inhaling sharply. She'd get over it. "Okay it like, doesn't even hurt that bad--" That lie was a little more obvious, but she wanted to be held regardless. Luckily, her boyfriend seemed to pick up on that as he adjusted his position and fully settled on her bed. Crawling up to him and curling into his side, Ivy's doting gaze inevitably fell on Julien, "So like, what do you want to do? Watch a movie?" she asked, then threw in a playful, "You only have fifteen more birthday wishes to cash in before midnight, Jules. Choose wisely."

JULIEN: Ivy wasn’t particularly good at hiding her emotions, so despite Julien not being the most intuitive person, he could see very clearly that she was in need of some tlc. From the way she stared up at him with those sad blue eyes to the way she clung to his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, it was obvious that the bad feelings from the day were lingering. Julien pushed aside his excitement over his birthday gift and decided right then and there that despite it being his birthday, Ivy would be tonight’s focus. That was why he’d come to her house after all. The two bantered briefly before Julien launched into his own apology but Ivy wasn’t having it. Julien always liked to talk through his feelings (mostly out of necessity because he never knew how exactly he felt about things), but his girlfriend didn’t seem to want the same so he wasn’t about to force her to talk about what happened. Maybe it was best not to dwell. “Okay, Titan Times,” Julien sighed out with a soft, closed-mouthed smile, “yesterday’s news then. Out of sight, out of mind.” And that was that. Next thing Julien knew, he was scooted all the way back on her bed with Ivy curled up cozily at his side. All was right in the world again. With one arm around her, Julien very gently circled a fresh bruise on her arm with all the caution in the world to not apply any pressure and cause her pain. Her question made him chuckle slightly as he tilted his chin downwards to look at her. “We could watch a movie,” he mused, insinuating that they could if she wanted to, “but I’d rather just talk to you.” At the mention of his whopping fifteen remaining birthday wishes, his expression changed like something dawned on him suddenly. “You wanna know what’s crazy?” he asked, brows raised, “I’ve been here for like ten minutes and you haven’t even kissed me once.” Julien clicked just tongue and shook his head disappointedly. “Kind of mean to do to the birthday boy if you think about it...” he sighed dramatically before playfully kissing the top of her head and hugging her towards him just a little tighter.

IVY: On top of all her other bad feelings about this wretched day, Ivy presently felt the worst about being so glum on Julien's birthday. He only turned seventeen once and the last thing she wanted was for this day to be shrouded in her own selfishness. Sure, it would be a struggle to let go of that overbearing feeling that she was right and he was wrong for not standing up for her in the choir room as is, but laying curled into his side soothed that burn. ( At lease, temporarily.) Fantasies of them at the Blackhawks game swirled in and out of her mind, but for the most part Ivy's focused remained on the gentle circling of his thumb around one of her numerous bruises and the comfort of his natural scent wafting into her nose. Beyond being talented and sweeter than she could ever be, Julien had a natural gift when it came to cheering her up. Ivy could only hope she provided him with that a sliver of reassurance he so easily gave her. That was beside the point though. As Julien confessed to preferring to speak with her over all else, a familiar thumping radiated throughout her chest as she smiled up at him with nothing but sheer adoration. "You're so sweet, I swear you're like giving me cavities." she teased, only for her own brows to quirk upward at his next comment. "a whole ten minutes?" Ivy repeated quietly as if she too were in shock. Now that all the upset glances and brooding sighs had passed, Ivy found herself warming up to their usual playful routine. Giggling at the dramatic sigh of Julien's own, Ivy propped herself up on her elbow, "Okay, well like, we definitely cannot have that on your birthday." she agreed before leaning down and granting him a quick peck. "You've got fourteen left, lover boy." She said, still gazing down fondly at him. Less desirable feelings from the day feeling more and more distant, Ivy drawled "Wanna like cash them in for more kisses or...?"  before closing the space between them once more. Ivy didn't need Julien to speak to know the answer was yes. So as she moved her lips against his own, she began to familiarize herself with the idea that if she were ending her night making out with Julien in her bed, maybe this day hadn't turned out so horrible after all.

AND SCENE.

#kiss it better #para #p: ivy #ivy #discord para

[thetokenmuggle]

Of French and Ice Cream

Sailor Moon Au : Part Two

“I can’t believe you all crashed my morning coffee date,” Jane huffed looking over at Minah, Tyler, Lucas and, sadly even, Tara and Enzo. “And I can't believe he actually bought you all coffee,” she grumbled as they stepped into Astor Academy.

“Well in my case I am going to assume that I am M’s favourite, other than you of course,” Tara said. Jane's nose scrunched up, she couldn’t even argue against that. Tara was everyone’s favourite, to be honest, many a time she had heard Luna wish she could stay with Tara instead. “And I offered to pay him back for mine,” she said with a frown.

“Maybe M felt guilty about the bad news he shared and realizes he made a stupid decision and is trying to win our forgiveness by giving us coffee,” Tyler snapped taking a sip of his coffee. “Honestly how M even made it to college with his bad decision making,” he continued ranting ignoring the way Jane was plotting his death. Jane took a deep breath in trying to stop herself from snapping, hearing Daehyung or Daniel as he was called now was in town was a bit of shock but if he didn’t shut up soon Jane would have no choice but smacking him across the back of the head.

“Tyler,” Minah warned, “Maybe you boyfriend, bless his heart, understands that going to school is an impossible task without a little caffeine,” Minah said. “Especially when you consider we have to deal with Lucas fangirls and worse - Tyler fangirls,” Minah said with a shudder. “Why would these girls do that to themselves,” she said shaking her head. “They could at least fangirl over Lucas and Enzo instead,” she said earning a glare from Tyler and a smirk from Enzo.

“Maybe M is just nice,” Lucas offered, Jane turned to face him, brows furrowed. “Just saying,” he muttered, shrinking into himself which admittedly was an impressive task given his height. Unlike Tyler’s reaction to hearing about Daehyung, Lucas was a ball of excitement about Eunha possibly coming to their school though he had become more subdued when they got closer to the school.

“Also notice that neither Lucas nor Tyler have been swarmed by their rabid fanbase yet,” Minah said, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think a miracle finally happened and they managed to grow some brain cells?” she asked sarcastically.

“Ha ha ha,” Tyler said with an eye roll.

“It's kinda true though,” Tara said with a frown. “No fangirls and none of the lovestruck fools that normally follow Minah either,” she said, causing Minah to scoff. “You’d think after a whole Summer of not seeing them in person they would be waiting for them to arrive,” she pointed out. “Also where are those girls who usually wait for Jane and Minah to show them how to style their uniform for the year?” she said. Jane and Minah looked over at each other and smirked, it was kinda fun seeing how everyone tried to recreate their style.

“Maybe Minah was right but an even bigger miracle happened and they went and got a life?” Enzo suggested.

“Too unrealistic,” Jane commented, shaking her head. “I bet it's an alien invasion,” Jane half-joked. She was enjoying just being a normal teenage girl who was just trying to figure out how to see her boyfriend but ever since that Asteroid had landed at the start of Summer, Jane (and Luna who hadn’t been able to shut up about it) had a feeling something bad was going to happen.

“Well, maybe we should see what that crowd is looking at?” Enzo said pointing to the staircase where everyone was standing around. Jane’s eyes narrowed as she looked over, spotting the majority of the senior year gathered around the stairs. She even spotted a few of Lucas’s more loyal fangirls.

The group moved over to the staircase, frowning as the sound of a guitar being strummed assaulted her ears. She couldn’t explain it but something about it just seemed weird. Like she knows it should sound nice but it was just off.

“Can anyone see anything?” she asked turning to her friends, Minah and Tara both shook their heads.

“It’s just some guy playing the guitar and a girl standing next to him,” Enzo said, sounding bored. “How boring,” he shrugged, stepping away from the crowd.

“And it’s not Eunha,” Lucas frowned in disappointment. Jane tried not to coo at how cute Lucas was, if Eunha did come to this school she better treat this boy right. “Honestly it’s nothing special,” Lucas shrugged. Jane frowned, she knew her classmates had a habit of idolizing their fellow peers but this was a little ridiculous.

Minah scoffed next to her, “This is so dumb,” she said with a scowl. “Come on let's go, I am not waiting here all day,” she said linking arms with Jane and Tara (who had grabbed onto Enzo not letting him escape this). “Lucas, Lee, let’s go,” she called as she moved forward, Jane was pretty sure she stepped on some people’s feet by accident, unlike Minah who may or may not have dropped her coffee on someone on purpose.

They stopped at the top of the stairs where the guitar boy and his friend stood. Guitar boy stopped playing while the girl looked extremely annoyed by their presence. “Excuse me,” the girl said in an obnoxious and potentially fake french accent.

“Maude no,” Guitar boy said, his eyes solely focused on Minah. Jane raised an eyebrow as this boy stepped forward, reaching out and grabbing Minah’s hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it.

“Julien,” Maude all but growled at the guitar boy. “What are you doing?” she asked glaring daggers at Minah. Jane moved forward just enough to shield her friends from this girl.

“Yeah what are you doing?” Tyler said, stepping in front of Minah, puffing his chest out to make him seem tough. “Keep your hands and lips to yourself,” he snapped. Jane rolled her eyes at this testosterone-induced staring contest, men, how tragic.

“Mind your business chipmunk,” Minah said elbowing Tyler.

“Don’t talk to him like that” The girl, Mauve?, snapped, racing over beside Tyler. “Are you okay?” she asked sweetly. Jane turned to Tara wondering if she had any idea what was actually happening but even she looked confused. “I’m Maude, do you need to go see a nurse, I can’t believe that girl you were only looking out for her… how ungrateful,” she continued as Tyler looked at her perplexed.

“I am fine?” he said, raising an eyebrow as the Maude girl leeched onto his arm.

Tyler was saved by the bell ringing and the entire student body pushing past in a rush to get to class leaving their group behind, the newcomers seemingly disappearing in the rush. “Well that was interesting,” Jane said as the six of them stood at the now-abandoned staircase.

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” Enzo said, Tara and Lucas nodded in agreement, all four of them looking over at Minah and Tyler curiously. “Well we have to get going,” he said nodding to Tara and Lucas, “good luck with those two,” he said gesturing to Tyler and Minah who were now bickering.

Jane groaned, “Lucas, your know how you are Tyler and Minah’s favourite?” Jane asked sweetly. “Maybe they would like it better if we swapped classes … just for today -” she said pouting. If Enzo wasn’t around she would have bought up the fact that Lucas was one of her sailor guardians who swore to protect just to make sure she got her way.

“I am not,” he started to say when a girl came running down the hallway cursing herself for being late. They watched said girl crash into Lucas, Jane winced feeling sympathetic for the girl, Lucas was like a wall. “Hey are you okay?” he asked, an arm wrapping around her to stop her from stumbling back. His eyes widened as he took in the girl, mouth hanging open.

“Oh i am fine, sorry,” The girl said, causing Jane, Tara, Minah and Tyler to turn and look at her. They all knew that voice, it was Eunha, well Emily as she apparently goes by now. Jane didn’t think it was a coincidence that she did end up going to the same school as them, just like them being in the same apartment as M wasn’t whether it be by design or fate.

“Why are we all staring at that girl?” Enzo whispered. Jane snapped out of her thoughts to see the girl shifting uncomfortably.

“I am just gonna,” she said as she wriggled out of Lucas' grip. ”Excuse me,” she said nodding before racing down the hall leaving a pouting Lucas in her wake.

“Well that - let’s just go to class,” Jane said with a frown. “We can figure out what is going on during lunch,” she said.

      ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

  Jane never imagined being the fifth wheel at their table despite being the only one of her friends who was actually in a relationship but here she was watching as Minah and Tyler both dealt with the school's newest students. Julien and Maude, two exchange students from France who in Jane’s oh so humble opinion had some of the worst french accents she had ever heard and she had heard a few.

She had zoned out halfway through this lunch, Tara and Lucas had stayed for a few minutes but after the Julien and Maude show decided that they had to catch up with their other friends and they would talk about Emily and Daniel later.

“I find it hard to believe someone as beautiful as you doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Julien commented looking at Minah with what could only be described as heart eyes. Minah hummed, looking down with the smallest smiles on her face. Jane raised an eyebrow, she had never seen Minah be affected by any guy flirting with her, especially not with such a basic line. If anything it was usually Minah flirting and reducing the boys to a puddle only to leave them because she wasn’t interested in anything serious.

“I can, she isn’t that pretty,” Maude said haughty, looking down her nose at Minah. Jane’s eyes narrowed a silent plea for the brunette to continue so she could punch her stupid face for saying such nonsense.

“Oh that is because she isn’t looking, we have a will they won’t they thing going on,” Tyler said glaring at Julien. Jane covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing. “Plus our dear Minah is dealing with some issues thanks to her ex,” he pretended to whisper before letting out a yowl. It didn’t take a genius to figure Minah had kicked him under the table.

“We have nothing going on,” Minah said, eyes narrowed.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Tyler shrugged, a cocky smirk on his face. Jane looked between the two of them not noticing the way both Julien and Maude looked practically murderous. “Why must you hide our love like this?” he said dramatically.

“I will end you,” Minah said through gritted teeth.

“I think we should go,” Julien said standing up, Maude followed suit. Jane felt a little sympathetic for the pair, mostly for Julien (if she was going to be completely honest.) having to witness this argument it was disturbing for her to watch she could imagine what it would be like to be an almost stranger watching along.

“Oh no don’t leave, especially not because of that fool,” she said reaching out to grab Julien's wrist. Jane raised an eyebrow at the way Maude seemed to fume, her eyes narrowed at Minah’s hand. “Or how about I come with you,” she said sweetly, eyes fluttering and a soft smile on her lips. Jane rolled her eyes knowing that Julien was a goner. The boy nodded, a dumb smile making its way onto his face and like that the pair had gone, walking off to the other side of the schoolyard. Maude had been completely forgotten.

“I am still going,” Maude said, eyes darting to Tyler hopefully.

“Okay see you in class,” Tyler shrugged before turning to Jane. “Can you believe her? What is Minah thinking?” he ranted. Jane once again had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing at Tyler’s complete dismissal of Maude. “What’s wrong with you? Why do you keep covering your mouth?” he said, sparing Jane an annoyed glance. “I swear everyone is losing their mind today,” he said shaking his head.

“Just a cough,” Jane lied. “And you say that like you are not included in the mind losing,” she said shaking her head. “Saying all that stuff to Minah, it’s like you have a death wish,” Jane commented.

“I am saving her from her own terrible taste,” Tyler shrugged. “Between Minah and Lucas, i swear i am going to be exhausted. Let's hope Enzo does his job and keeps fools around for Tara,” he grumbled, a determined flash behind his eyes.

“You could just, you know, mind your own business and not get involved,’ Jane said in a sing-song voice causing Tyler to roll his eyes.

“Clearly i can’t,” Tyler said simply, “Lucas wants to run into the mess that is Eunha and Minah is going around with Julien who by the way smells like dead roses,” he huffed.

“You were smelling him?” Jane asked, scrunching her nose up. “That’s a little weird,” she said looking at Tyler judgmentally.

“Tyler’s being weird again, nice to know somethings don’t change,” Lucas teased, making his presence known. Tyler rolled his eyes, flicking a crumb up at Lucas. “Did you really smell him?” he asked looking at Tyler curiously.

“Oh shush,” Tyler said with a huff. “You can’t judge me, mister. I've been following Eunha around like a sad little puppy dog,” he said, judgment clear in his voice.

“Her name is Emily now thank you very much,” Lucas corrected. “And i have not, I’ve been with the guys,” he said proudly before pouting. “Plus even if i did want to talk to Emily she has become friends with Mimi,” he said sitting down where Minah had been sitting. “Why is life so unfair?” he questioned.

“Oh stop being so dramatic,” Jane said. “Who cares if she is friends with a girl who doesn’t like you because you beat her high score at some silly Sailor V game,” Jane said, rolling her eyes at the whole situation. “I am sure one proper look at you and Eun- Emily will be in love,” Jane said patting his back. “And if she isn’t there are plenty of other girls who would love to be with you,” she added.

“Though your fan club as dwindled thanks to that new weirdo,” Tyler said with an eye roll. “You know I saw him making eyes at Eunha just before,” Tyler teased, smiling faintly.

“Please that boy only has a heart eyes for Minah, mon cheri ,” Jane said mockingly, Julien’s use of the French language irked Jane but to his credit, he did better than Maude who seemed to just make odd noises. “And if Lucas’s fan club has dwindled then yours must be non-existent now,” she said looking at Tyler who blanched at the thought.

“Look just because neither you nor your boyfriend are fan club worthy but -” Tyler started to speak but was cut off by the sound of an ice cream truck jingle. Jane’s brows furrowed together, she would never say no to ice cream on a hot day but they had never heard an ice cream truck around their school, well ever.

It was like everyone paused as the truck's song continued to play, “creepy,” Lucas muttered under his breath. The day got even stranger as the school gates opened allowing the truck to come in. Their principal was notably strict about what was and what wasn’t allowed in their schools, Jane can recall that one time Antoine tried to order a pizza at school - he was in detention for two months and had to work as a delivery driver for one of them.

Within the blink of an eye majority of the student body had surrounded the truck causing Jane to pout. She wanted to get an ice cream cone but with that line lunch would be over before even half of the crowd disappeared.

“You’d think they’d have never seen an ice cream van before,” Tyler murmured, face contorting into one of thinly veiled disgust. “How childish,” he said with an eye roll.

“Okay Mr I’m too cool for ice cream,” Jane said, watching as Tara and Minah made their way over. She raised an eyebrow last time she looked over at Tara was chatting away with her friends and Minah had disappeared with Julien, probably to find an empty classroom ‘to get to know each better’.

“Problems?” she asked as they arrived, the pair couldn’t look any different, Tara’s eyes were downcast and she chewed her lip while Minah stood with her hand on hip and annoyed huff escaping her lips.

“Apparently Julien really likes ice cream,” Minah said rolling her eyes. “As soon as he heard it he was all like i have to go excuse me and just disappeared on me, people do not disappear on me,” she ranted.

“Julien and the entire school,” Tara said, “Does anyone else find it weird how literally raced over?” she questioned.

“Everyone but us,” Lucas pointed out rather unhelpfully.

“Yeah, but at the same time it’s the first day of school, who doesn’t need a mid-afternoon pick me up?” Jane questioned, trying to squash the nerves in her stomach. This year was going to be normal, she was going to have a normal senior year dealing with normal girl problems. No negaverse. No Beryl. Just homework and boy problems ( not that she has those.)

“I know but everyone, I am pretty sure one of the girls in my grade is lactose intolerant,” Tara pointed out.

“Oh and Stephanie told me once she doesn’t eat ice cream because it ruins your skin so -” Lucas frowned. “But maybe it’s the first-day blue’s, I felt little nuts after Mr Warren’s class,” he added hopefully.

“Hey T, i got you an ice cream,” Tara’s friend Ara called out, tossing a wrapped ice cream at Tara before taking a bit of her soft serve and fainting.

“Ara,” Tara raced over to where Ara had just fallen, Tyler followed after her. While Minah and Jane shared a concerned look.

“Looks like the negatrash is back,” Lucas said looking around the schoolyard as students rapidly started to fall to the ground.

“Unfortunately,” Jane said with a frown. She couldn’t believe it though, she had beaten Metalia, the evil force had been defeated by the power of the silver crystal. It couldn’t be Enzo she thought, maybe Daehyun and Eunha? But why would they? Sungjae was a possibility, no one had seen or heard from since the rebirth and he was the most heavily influenced. Maybe he was calling the shots, somehow got Daehyun and Eunha to work for him. Regardless she needed to deal with the problem at hand. “Moon! Prism! Power,” she shouted to transform. Minah and Lucas had followed suit transforming into Sailor Venus and Sailor Jupiter respectively.

“Mimi,” They looked towards the van seeing Eunha crouching down next to her new friend. “What the hell did you do?” she shouted towards whoever was in the van. The only thing that could be heard was maniacal laughing and icy tentacle springing from inside the van. The tentacle wrapped around her waist holding her in place as it started to drain her energy.

Jane and Minah didn’t have time to react as Lucas raced forward. “Supreme Thunder!” he called out as a lightning bolt sprung from his crown at the tentacle creature. Eunha crumbled to the ground barely able to move. That ruled her out as a possible suspect.

The monster leapt out of the van, as expected it was as ugly as ever. A vaguely human esque blue creature with tentacles for arms, its eyes were shaped like snowflakes and its midsection was covered in what looked like sprinkles. The creature hissed at Lucas who was now standing protectively in front of Emily.

“Venus love chain,” Minah called out, her power whipping the monster causing it to swirl around to face herself and Jane.

“Hey Ugly,” Jane called out, causing the monster to turn around to see her and Minah. “Yeah you, I get that you aren’t from around here but this isn’t going to end well for you,” she said down at the monster in contempt. “I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice and i say on the behalf of the moon, I shall right wrongs and triumph over evil and that means you,’ she said with her usual arm movements. By this point, she had her speech down a fine art.

The creature turned to hiss at her before lifting one of it tentacle arm up and aiming it directly at Jane. Jane watched in morbid curiosity as it opened revealing a slimy ball of what looked like at icecream. “Gross now icecream has been ruined for me forever,” she muttered. The ball of icecream grew bigger that closer it got to Jane, she leapt out of the way only to see Minah got caught in a ball of ice cream.

Despite the seriousness of the situation Jane had to stop herself from laughing because honestly, the image in front of her was hilarious. She couldn’t look for too long because the monster hadn’t forgotten about her and started to rapidly fire at her causing her to run and jump all over the yard. The one plus side with a Jane sized distraction the monster had forgotten all about Lucas who had moved to aid Minah who was less than happy about her situation.

“Can you give me a break,” Jane panted, she had to get back into her old Cardio program if she was going to be doing all this running again because right she was really struggling. The monster hissed, using one of its tentacles to reach and grab Jane. “Crap,” Jane snapped as she was hung upside down by the monster.

Jane struggled to fight her way out of it. “Mars fire ignite,” was heard before a fireball hit the tentacle causing Jane to be released with a thud.

“Everyone say thank you Sailor Mars, you have the best power,” Tyler boasted. He was served a piece of humble pie when the creature took aim at him, he just escaped. “Mercury a little help right now,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Oh i thought Sailor Mars could handle this since he has the best powers,” Tara called out from whatever she was, Jane spun around trying to figure out where exactly she was but had no luck. “Mercury Aqua Mist,” was heard before the whole school was covered in mist. Any chances she had of finding Tara was gone now all she could see was the ugly ice cream sundae in front of her.

Jane knew that this was her opportunity to finish that creature off. “Moon Tiara Magic,” she exclaimed, attacking the creature watching as it let out a pained screech and turning into a vapour leaving nothing but what looked like a card. That was new. Jane stepped forward tentatively picking the card up. It was empty except for a border. She hummed pocketing it, she would show Luna it when she got home. Maybe she had an idea of what it meant.

She knew soon the rest of the school would be waking up and if it was anything like when Shitennou attacked they would have no memory of what happened at all, it was as weird as it was annoying. Luna had tried to explain why it happens to her once but Jane at the time didn’t really care and now she was too afraid to ask knowing that she will get a scolding from her moon guardian.

“I am never eating ice cream again,” Minah said shivering, “That was disgusting,” she whined. Jane looked at her sympathetically as they began to de-transform. “So much for a normal life huh,” she said somewhat bitterly. “Let’s just go to class before the rest of the masses wake up,” she huffed.

“I thought you look pretty…. Cool,” Tyler said chuckling causing everyone but Lucas who was moving an unconscious Emily into a more comfortable position. What a gentleman. “Hey it’s not my fault she looked pretty sweet, too bad Julien wasn’t around i am sure he’d tell Minah she looked yummy,” he continued.

“Oh that is it,” Minah said smacking his side causing Tyler’s eyes to widen. “I’ve had enough of you today,” she said as Tyler raced away, Minah following after him threatening to cause him serious harm.

“Do you think it’s the negaverse again?’ Tara asked quietly. “Should i be keeping an eye on Enzo?”

“I don’t know,” Jane sighed, that was her answer to both questions. She didn’t know what was going on anymore but Minah was right their hopes of a normal year were dashed.

#story

[eternaleve]

Watching A Broken Frame music videos for the first time!

Carrying on with my Depeche Mode video rewatch project with the vids for A Broken Frame (first post is found here https://eternaleve.tumblr.com/post/624649762286780416/ive-spent-the-course-of-covid-lockdown-cycling)

I looked through my vinyl and found I did not steal my mother’s Depeche Mode singles from this album (I only stole all her Elvis Costello and Joy Division and a bunch of Japan singles which I suspect she snuck to me in hopes of making me like them) but they are all mysteriously gone. My abusive stepdad recently moved out and I have thoughts about what property he took, but this just seems petty. 

Anyway, let’s talk about A Broken Frame! Vince Clarke left the band to go and be the Paul McCartney of 80s electronic music, forming Yazoo and Erasure. Apparently he did not like success and touring and stuff, which is far because it’s a lot of pressure, so he’s out and Alan Wilder is in after responding to an ad in Melody Maker. Remember music journalism? He joined as a tour keyboardist and appears in the videos for the album, but didn’t contribute to the album.

 A Broken Frame was released eleven months after Speak & Spell, which doesn’t seem to be enough time to me for a band to create another whole album's worth of material. It just seems that a band spends a few years perfecting their sound and a selection of songs, and then a record label says, ‘Great! Now do the same thing, but in a much shorter timeframe, under much more stress, and in snatched moments between being shuttled from gig venue to gig venue!’. I understand there’s a ~hype train~ that music acts have to follow, because bands can slip out of notice so fricking quickly, but the pressure does not seem set up to maintain the mental and emotional well-being of people. I’m sure nothing like that will happen in the history of this bad though!

This album cover is considered one of the world’s greatest photographs for a reason. It’s stark and beautiful and has echoes of socialist realism and is just a really striking image. I don’t know who has final say over art direction in the band but whoever does has a great eye for images. The picture is taken over by Duxford and as I’m from the Midlands I have been to Duxford on a hundred school trips (it has a big air centre with WW2 planes and things and bits of the Berlin Wall), so I’ve probably been past this field an uncountable number of times without even realising it.

See You (Jan 1982, No 6 UK charts)

I like how it looks like fuzzy felt. It feels very, very different from the singles art from the last album, I guess to indicate a clear difference in direction? Maybe? This is the first single for the band written by Martin Gore and starting his reign as songwriter.

All the music videos for this album were directed by Julien Temple and are Not Liked by the band. I generally quite like Julien Temple’s work and watched a lot of it as a teen (stepdad being hugely into the Pistols), so I am intrigued to say the least how these will turn out to be.

This does give me a bit of a nostalgia kick for an old-fashioned style train station. It’s pretty much what my home station used to look like before everything was privatised, bought out by Virgin, turned bright red and full of commuters. I like how the station sparks to the beat of the music and that someone okayed an actual spending budget for this time around.

YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE STATION THE PHOTOBOOTH IS HAUNTED

Not going to lie, this looks 100% like my Dad’s first ever passport photo. I like the addition of the bowtie. It adds a real ‘First Communion’ vibe to the whole look. The nose stud… well, I had a nose stud at the exact same period of my life. Same age too, I think, only mine stayed around a lot longer when it definitely should not have done.

It was at that moment he knew he had made a grave mistake in confronting the ‘Telephone Box Killer’ on his own.

Insert a standard ‘Original Selfie’ joke here. The use of the photobooth gives a cute little through line in the video, as well as giving other band members a chance to be present. I remember using photobooths to take fun photos, before they started costing so much goddamned money and put them only in the most inconvenient places. I still have a bunch that I keep in my purse.

… And now everyone’s working an office job? To show the passage of time? Or because it’s now a bit with music, so we’re showing the use of keyboards through office equipment that sort of requires you to make similar hand movements?

Something, something, statement about technology? The photobooth theme was fine! It was cute! It said something about the regret and passage of time from teen to young adult romance! Why are there now a lot of calculators?

Just in case you forgot - the single’s out now. Wink, wink.

But let’s go back and check in with our corporate overlords. Bob, how are you doing on the spyware floor?

… is this Julien Temple? Is it a music video within a music video? Did he put himself in the video? Could this part not have been done by a member of the band? Like, y’know, that new one who was clearly added in partly through this video?

I like the main core storyline of the video - thinking about a past relationship and then happening to run into them again unexpectedly - but I can see why this is perhaps not well thought of. Next one!

The Meaning of Love (April 82, No 12 UK charts)

This reminds me a lot of the cover for the first Adrian Mole book which was published the same year. It does not match the first single at all or the album, but I guess the album art was yet to be done? Or maybe two different departments handled them, because I would have gone with a different single cover if I knew that one of the greatest photographs of all time was in the wings for the album.

Reader, my heart dropped. I knew we were in for some deeply 80s bullshit. And, like, not good 80s bullshit.

This is the lounge act in the cruiseship of my nightmares

Martin Gore there looking like 99% of the lesbians on the DIY punk scene.

What the fuck is going on?

What, and I must reiterate, the fuck is going on? Are those pies? Pie eyes? Pie eye glasses? What does it mean?

Now’s not the time for your science homework, it’s time to film a music video.

Great, I know what image will be repeating in my night terrors tonight. Martin Gore’s face earnestly singing at me from the depths of a paramecium.

THIS JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE. THERE IS NO SITUATION ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET MADE BETTER WITH PUPPETS.

No, my night paralysis nightmare will be Dave Gahan’s face turning into a fucking pie over and over and over again.

Oh, I see, the Meaning of Love is that your wife will turn into a bitter harpy that won’t let you live your dream and also your life is ruined because she keeps letting the puppets sleep in the bed.

I guess the video has a sort of XTC vibe? It does remind me of the video of ‘Making Plans for Nigel’, which I do like, but also this video is fucking awful should be seen to be believed. I liked the band’s awkward choreography which was four men showing how much they did not want to be doing any of this.

Leave In Silence (August 82, No 18)

The font is nice. That’s about all there is to say for this. It doesn’t match the other two singles. I’m not saying everything has to be matchy-matchy, but it is nice to have visual similarity and consistency. This looks like the record label gave up on trying.

Okay, so we’ve got the album art sorted and starting out with a - I guess you could call it ‘low rural farming vocalisation’, and neither of these two things match the other singles or music videos, which have had a very poppy, teen girl, Smash Hits vibe. 

This week on The Generation Game, you could win a stainless steel bowl, a cuddly toy, and the lead singer of Depeche Mode!

This video started with a group of people vocalising while pouring out grain and looking very plaguecore, now we’re all playing around on a conveyor belt because I think Julien Temple has run out of ideas and is being artsy and surreal and weird to cover that up.

Ladies and gentleman, I’m sad to say that ‘The Fanciest Little Cowboy’ competition will not be running this year due to a lack of other contestants. This is a very fancy Little Cowboy though.

…. I…. what? 

I have seen many bad, bad, bad cursed images in my time, but this is going straight up to the top. What the fuck does this say about the song? The band? The image the record label is trying to project? This pointless weird imagery for the sake of being pointless and weird.

It’s okay, Jess. Bright Red Martin Gore can’t really hurt you. Only haunt you.

And now spacehoppers. Because of course spacehoppers!

The players from Pathologic show up to make a cameo appearance, matching nothing in the video, and seeming wildly out of place with everything else. Pick a theme or story, Julien! It is EITHER the Generation Game OR a terrifying children’s show OR guttural Soviet inspired plaguecore. You can pick one! Not all of them!

The Blue Man Group really had a rough start. The wheat is… just there. Because I guess Julien Temple couldn’t think of how to organically weave it an advertisement for the album. So there’s just a bundle of wheat for no good reason.

By this point, same, mate. That is the only reaction I am having.

These videos were… not great. I think ‘See You’ is the best and most cohesive - it tells a cute little story that ties in with the themes of the song and provides an emotional resonance. And then things just go off the bloody chain a bit. They get weird and experimental in a way that does not work in selling the band or the song. They seem pretty disconnected from what a music video should be and Julien Temple seemed to just run out of ideas by ‘Leave In Silence’. C- Mr Temple, must try harder.

And then onto Construction Time Again! ... well, when I get round to it. In a few days maybe.

#depeche mode #a broken frame #i'm making myself laugh at least #see you #leave in silence #the meaning of love

[youngbloodbuzz]

Tell me about your characters! Answer 10 of your favorite of those questions!

sagklsdjfsndf bro thank you! i love talking about my kids

23.  If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

venia: she would have run away from her normal life as the royal princess earlier after spending her entire life living in fear as a born fire sorcerer in a kingdom where using magic is punishable by death. instead now she’s on the run from being found out and having to fight her way out the palace. 

andromeda: she would run deeper into the underdark instead of risking the life of the man who died saving her and breaking the heart of his wife, who andy highly admires and respects

theodora: i don’t think she would. she isn’t a believer in fate or destiny but she knows that everything she’s done, she’d do all over again. though i think maybe she’d try to talk to her brother more about what they had been through to get where they are now, as migrants and refugees. 

33. What person does your character admire most?

venia: she had once admired her father as a child, but then she’d witnessed his reign of terror as she got older. then it was her mother, who she emulated to survive the court and life in general, but then her mother turned out to have known about ven’s magic the entire time and never said anything. and then her eldest cousin, the only person she ever willingly told about her magic as a young kid and encouraged it, comes rushing to save her at a moments notice and they escape the kingdom together, and... at this point ven’s trying not to keep her hopes up anymore. 

andromeda: without a doubt hands down it’s professor essaris, a wizard and headmaster/teacher of her own school and the wife of the man, maximus, who died helping to save andy in the underdark. andy wants more than anything to live up to the expectations of max dying for her to octavia but octavia has her own complex issues with andy since she’s the reason her husband is dead even as she’s been trying to help her through her amnesia. it’s....a Lot. 

theodora: it was once her older brother, jaxon. the one person who stood side by side with her in agreement of how to save the group and helped her do the dirty work. but it’s been months and months later now and one day she wakes to find him gone, leaving her a single letter telling her he can’t face what he’s done anymore and he’s off to find his own fortune somewhere far away. she burns the letter. 

36.  What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music?

venia: oh i have playlsits for all of them. she has a few but if i had to choose, ven’s theme song would be it’s a fire by portishead, but also instrumentally it’d be the winds of winter by ramin djawadi. maybe i was inspired by dany. what of it. 

andromeda: televangelist and conversation piece by julien baker; i cannot choose one, my poor girl is so depressed lmao. and dead before the dawn by ramin djawadi which genuinely helped me form the idea of how she saw the sunrise for the first time as an amnesiac when climbing out of the underdark after being trapped there for two years. 

theodora: angel by massive attack and caleb’s seduction by mark koven. her life is lowkey a horror movie. 

41. Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

venia: as a born royal first in line to the throne, she sure does. it’s almost an inherent trait from her mother, where she learned to control her emotions, her expressions, how to speak in court. it’s second nature at this point. 

andromeda: being a six foot tall tiefling with grey-purplish skin, she makes an immediate impression but that’s not what worries her. she tries to come off as worldly and normal and not like a person who has amnesia and intelligence of 8 but it’s kind of hard when she assumes/lies in front of other people about knowing something when it’s actually wrong or not true. 

theodora: for the most part, she couldn’t a shit tbh. mostly she wears a mask of whatever she knows will appease others to get her way. 

51. Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

venia: i think at first it’d be ethos because of the way she was raised to respect arguments of such, but over time away from that kind of environment, it’d be in-between pathos and logos but mostly pathos. 

andromeda: pathos undoubtedly. she wears her heart on her sleeve, she’s ruled by it. probably to the detriment of her own health and safety. 

theodora: logos. it’s literally how she rationalized her way into saving herself and the group she was traveling with during a disastrous migration across uncharted territory in the winter (think donner party levels of disaster...)

54. How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

venia: all day every day she keeps secrets. her entire life and existence is a secret. venia isn’t her real name. zen is in fact her cousin, not her brother. she’s terrified and paranoid, but on the surface she’s reserved sweet charm and smiles.  

andromeda: for someone who’s generally an open book, andy keeps many things to herself, but it’s all always to protect herself and her heart from the shame of the truth. her amnesia and low intelligence and her experiences at the essaris grammar school did a number on her self-esteem and self-worth.

theodora: she has no issues with it at all. she’ll do it for the sake of herself and the group if she believes if it’s for the right reasons. 

59. Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

venia: at a certain point, yes. she grew up a privileged princess, and even though she has a good empathetic and diplomatic heart, she still has a lot to learn. and she’s just been thrust in a world that doesn’t care about her with zero warning or preparation so she’s going in cold turkey.

andromeda: oh andy....my dear sweet depressed andy. if it came down to staying safe or risking her life for someone, or even worse, a child, she would gladly lay down her life. no hesitations, no questions asked.

theodora: she’s alive for a reason and it’s because she made the hard choice, the only logical choice. she likes to think she did it to save the group, and her small family in particular who were a part of this venture, but really, she’d do anything for her own best interest. including cannibalism. no she doesn’t regret it.

73. If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

venia: well. if she’s going to die, she’s going to die fighting in a blaze of righteous fury. she’ll find the fastest way home and find some way, any way, to convince her father to stop his tyranny. even if that means starting a revolution and dying a martyr. 

andromeda: god. it would be such a quiet resignation and acceptance. like she knows she’s cheated death. knows it in her very bones, knows she should have died and not maximus. she would go back to those that took care of her in her first few months back into the world and say her goodbyes, but in a way where an unsuspecting person wouldn’t realize it was happening. she’d spend as much time as possible with them, and exploring the city, spending time in the temple of pelor where she felt most at peace. she’d think about trying one last time to find her real family but would consider it a lost cause. and then on the second last day, she would pack her bag with her journal and her favourite books of history and poetry, and quietly walk into the wilderness never to be seen again.

theodora: like hell she’s dying. she’s an undying warlock, she’d sell her soul double time to her patron to prevent it from happening. if that won’t work, she’d look for some other entity. it’s not happening. she will literally do anything to prevent it. 

81. What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

venia: ven’s name i specifically chose for an incredibly niche plot reason. venia means “forgiveness. consent, permission, approval,” and the etymology derives from the name venus, which as a goddess represents “prosperity,” and as a planet is also called the morning star and is one of the brightest objects in the sky. venus also represents lucifer, the light-bringer, a being who fell far from heaven. there is also a long held belief, a prophecy, in venia’s home kingdom for centuries that “the morning star will rise to bring the kingdom to ashes and bring forth a new world aflame.” a prophecy that’s driven the line of king’s mad with paranoia. and guess who was born as a phoenix sorcerer. 

andromeda: honestly? i just really liked the name lmao she’s a haunted one who was born under a dark star, i figured a good astrology name would be fitting. 

theodora: i also thought this was just a really good name but i mean, her full name is theodora cane which means gift of god and warlike respectively and when you put it together....i mean..... not too bad.  

85. What would be your character’s major in college?

venia: political science and law. 

andromeda: english and library sciences.

theodora: theo’s my newest so it’s tough to nail her down but i think she’d try for a medical degree but then drop out to become a private investigator 

#asks #flyingflesheater #dude thank you so much that was real fun to get into their heads even if no one cares to read it lmao #dnd ocs #venia albright #andromeda lovejoy #theodora cane

[kiruuuuu]

Blitz/Rook oneshot in which they recover together. (Rating T, hurt/comfort, ~2.2k words) - written for @magehir as a bribe to cheer you up 💝

.

He never liked hospitals much. He’s hardly alone with this attitude yet he’s heard there are people out there who find them comforting, seek solace in the knowledge of not having to worry about much, about someone else taking over responsibility. He prefers being in charge himself and being reminded how fragile his body is, how easy it would be to never walk again or be discharged, unable to perform his job, eats at his confidence. His self image is largely dependent on how well he does in Rainbow, a close link formed even in the very first weeks and now, only a few months later, he already can’t imagine life without this colourful group of operators around him. He’s come to realise he needs this or his self-worth would plummet, and so being confined to a bed in a foreign country has him almost stir-crazy.

Parts of his body won’t obey him, other parts refuse to work the way they’re intended and he despises being this weak. For the others, he puts on a brave face, smiles through the pain, reassures them he’s fine, not to worry, he’s not bored at all, no, thank you for asking. He refuses to be a burden and so he’s perfectly at ease with his situation whenever anyone’s there even if Bandit’s narrow gaze indicates he’s not falling for it one bit. Figures. Professional liars are always good at spotting kindred spirits. He doesn’t tell on him but what he does do after one visit is to hang back and offer him a cigarette. Blitz has only tried smoking a few times and remembers it as vile but he accepts nonetheless.

He coughs his way through it, grimacing for no one’s benefit and it’s refreshing to not feel obliged to pretend he likes it. Bandit smokes by his side, silent and not even smirking over his suffering. Oddly, it helps. It’s a little like rebelling against the entirely too professional medical staff as the doctor he’s seen maybe five minutes in total would probably have a heart attack if he saw him like this, and so it’s refreshing. The awful taste lingers but he refuses to wash it down because it’s a sensory fuck you to everything holding him down. He’s not dead. He can do what he wants. He’s still himself.

.

There’s a recent change with which he’s very much not okay yet. He’d be fine if it had been just him on the brink of death, water under the bridge, he’ll eventually heal and go back to doing what he always does, but it’s not just him. He only needs to turn his head to the side to see a shock of brown curls spread out on a pillow just like his own yet so far he’s avoided doing so because he’s not ready. Not in the state he’s in right now, not as delicate and shaken as he allows himself to be only when he’s alone.

For a while, he obsesses about the presence next to him, wonders whether the young man is studying him with reproach or pride, but when he finally looks over, bright blue eyes are fixed on the ceiling just like his own were, lost in thought. Rook senses his attention, however, and returns the gaze. He looks pitiful, maybe even more mangled than Blitz himself – fell down the same crack Blitz did, according to what the others told him, crawled to the same place vaguely shielded from the icy wind. Rook’s fall was worse though. He still made it over to him.

“You’re alive”, Rook murmurs and sounds surprised as if all his actions hadn’t been aimed towards achieving this fact. “I’m so glad.”

Blitz starts to cry.

It’s a culmination of it all, the pressure of not making anyone worry, the guilt, the gratefulness, the stress and the fear of not recovering fully. Most of all he feels unworthy of Rook’s troubled smile – he gladly would’ve given his life if it meant the young man in the bed next to his would’ve been spared all this pain. His tears are silent, hot streaks on his cheeks, burning his skin where they touch it and souring the peaceful atmosphere between them: Rook’s brows draw together and Blitz wants to reach out and smooth them back, wipe the concerned frown off his face and gently stroke his usual smile back onto his mouth, fingers drawing over the curving of his lips. He also doesn’t want to worry Rook. But he can’t stop crying.

.

He familiarises himself with Rook’s hands over the next days. He’s not allowed to get up but does so nonetheless, sits by his sleeping beauty’s side for hours and watches the rapid movement of his eyes under his lids, the way his lip trembles sometimes, his fingers twitching as he recovers while unconscious. Blitz’ fingertips trace the rivers of his veins on the backs of his hands and the turmoil inside him calms whenever he finds the skin warm. He catches himself shivering now and then despite being wrapped in several layers at all times, having requested more than one blanket and regularly waking up sweating profusely. It’s better than being cold.

Rook’s hands are softer than his, less calloused, and the lines weaving their way through his palm less prominent than Blitz’. Sometimes, his fingers curl around Blitz’ while he sleeps. Sometimes when he’s not sleeping. The grip is tighter and they readily interlace with his even though Rook keeps pretending to be asleep. Both of them know he’s not. After a few days, Blitz can feel the young man’s eyes on his when he encases a hand with both of his own but he doesn’t meet his gaze. The debt is too large. He owes him.

Eventually, it’s not just hands anymore. Rook’s hair, normally silky and soft, is now sweaty and dull but Blitz doesn’t care. He explores the curve of his jaw, holds his breath when Rook tilts his head back for better access, brushes over his nose, strokes his cheek, even dares to touch his lips. They press against his thumb momentarily in a weak kiss and Blitz can’t. Not after all he’s done for him. He withdraws his hand and shakes his head when Rook motions for him to give it back. They need to talk.

“You could’ve died”, he says.

Rook is ready. “You would’ve died.”

It’s true. Their shared body heat is what saved them and as furious as Sledge was upon Rook disobeying his orders to stay in and not go outside to look for Blitz, he’s now relieved Rook sneaked out regardless. Because instead of a dead operator, he has two injured ones now which he deems an improvement. Blitz isn’t sure it is, not when he sees Rook’s broken smile. He, too, tries not to make anyone worry. Bandit just shook his head at them both.

“If you hadn’t found me, we both would be dead right now. It was a lucky coincidence that you did.”

“Maybe it was more than a coincidence though.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

Rook was probably joking, so Blitz’ serious reply seems to amuse him. “No. You’re right.”

“Why did you do it?”

The question scares him witless. It was more than a month ago that Rook asked him out, expressed interest and inquired whether it was reciprocated. Blitz declined for a multitude of reasons ranging from possible work complications to inexperience on his part, but most of all he didn’t want to disappoint Rook if it turned out he wasn’t as invested as the young man seemed to be. Surprisingly, Rook accepted his answer easily enough and never mentioned it again, but this.

This.

If it turns out he risked his own life to save Blitz’ purely out of completely misguided sentimentalism, an obligation born from an unhealthy infatuation, Blitz wouldn’t be able to live with himself. If unrequited love was all which drove Rook to such extremes, not only will Blitz never be able to repay him, he’ll also have to request a reassignment. Personal feelings must not get in the way of their work. He’ll forever blame himself for not being more insistent upon turning Rook down, for not squashing any hope he might’ve had left. Besides, he’s sure that Rook will in time come to regret his actions.

However, Rook’s response baffles him. “I get asked a lot why I’m in Rainbow and I never had a proper answer. It wasn’t mean, just curiosity I think – but everyone else has something special to them. Something only they are good at. I don’t. And when I tell people, they always seem to expect more, seem to think there’s something I’m hiding or haven’t realised myself but they’re wrong. I thought they were wrong. I had nothing.”

It’s the first Blitz hears of this. He’s noticed Rook and his friends joke about it before but never got the impression it affected the Frenchman to this extent. “That’s not true, you -”

Rook pays no heed to his objection and simply continues: “Remember the mission in Brazil? You put together your own team and wanted me on it. I don’t think you know I overheard the conversation, but someone suggested someone else instead. And you said: I’d feel much safer knowing Julien has my back.”

He remembers. He needed someone whom he could trust completely, someone who wouldn’t miss a single shot. And while a lot of operators fulfilled this requirement, he specifically wanted Rook.

“And so I thought: what if this is what I’m here for? To allow you all to do your special thing while I provide cover. As a support. As someone you can rely on. Someone who makes sure you don’t have to worry.”

“But with this, you went too far”, Blitz states quietly.

“Did I? We’re both alive, aren’t we? I finally found what I’m good at. And I’m not apologising for it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

Blitz shakes his head but there’s not much he can say. Rook has made up his mind and seems content with his conclusions, so the only thing left to do is offer his hand again which Rook takes immediately, squeezing and offering a smile. It’s genuine this time, not the pale shadow Rook shows the others.

So it wasn’t an obsession, no arbitrary flight of fancy which Rook filled with entirely too much importance. Instead, it was loyalty, admiration and altruism. Blitz is familiar with all of them. Maybe they share more than he was aware of. Maybe he needs to re-think his decision.

.

Bandit gets sent ahead because he’s the only one not hungry. Jäger keeps teasing him about being worried and usually earns a snarky response or an elbow in the ribs for it, but he’s probably right, as much as it pains Bandit to admit it. He hasn’t been eating or sleeping much and is the only one to always accompany whoever is heading to the hospital that day. It’s not that he enjoys the visits, he’s usually worse off afterwards because the whole fucking building depresses him to no end but he still goes with a grim determination. It feels like the right thing to do.

He braces himself for another barrage of lies and reassurances, takes a deep breath and enters the room without knocking – he doesn’t need to, Rook and Blitz are the only occupants and their families won’t travel this far to visit them now. At first, he’s alarmed at seeing Blitz’ bed empty and him not sitting by the other one, but he spots him at a second glance.

It’s a mirror to how they were found.

They’re curled into each other as much as their injuries allow them, breath mingling and foreheads touching. They’re holding hands, chests rising and falling slowly, eyes closed this time not due to unconsciousness but restful sleep, rosy – not blue – lips parted, eyelashes devoid of fine crystals fanning over healthy-looking cheeks. Neither of them is shivering, unlike Blitz whenever Bandit saw him sleep recently.

He looks at them, looks until this image replaces the one which haunted his dreams, replaces blinding snow with the pristine white of the sheets, replaces two almost-corpses with this, something budding. Replaces what could’ve been an ending with a beginning. Once he can’t remember the original anymore, can’t remember the dread and shock, he turns around and closes the door softly.

When he arrives in the cafeteria, he announces: “They’re sleeping. Let’s come back later.”

“What, you don’t even want to draw dicks on Elias’ face?”, IQ jokes and nudges him.

Normally he’d grin and make a counter suggestion but he just shakes his head now. Not this time. “You know what”, he switches topics after noticing the snacks in IQ’s hands, “I’ll get something to eat too.” And he ignores the meaningful glance IQ and Jäger exchange.

#rainbow six siege #blitz #rook #blitz/rook #fanfic #oneshot #I swear I wanted to write fluff #but look what happened whoops #I hope it does cheer you up though I love you #also I made bandit wholesome are you impressed

[evalulu]

A sad story based off a sketch of @xmafiacatx ‘s!  (Be warned, there is death in this one.)

Doc knew this mission would be tougher.  It was rare for him to be involved in attacking terrorist cells unless the situation was incredibly difficult and injuries were expected no matter the expertise Rainbow brought.  The other team members comprised of the other French operators he worked well with, and Lion.  He could manage with the CBRN specialist, the more important part was making sure no one on his team faced fatal injuries.  

Twitch moved her drone in first, working to scout out the building the White Masks were held up in.  The early morning sun shone over the roof, air cool against his face as he moved behind Montagne.  The building was an obviously older one, a German clubhouse completely overtaken by hostile forces.  

“The reports weren’t exaggerating when they said there were a lot of terrorists here.  Not even two rooms and I’ve seen more than ten targets.”

Doc took a deep breath in, moving to where Twitch had position herself by the wall to give herself cover.  Montagne and Rook continued to the door, Lion positioned above them, preparing to breach into an upper floor.  Doc was prepared to head in through the window near Twitch’s position, underneath Lion and taking care of hostiles that might shoot at him through the floor.  

“On my signal.  Un…  deux… trois!”

Montagne’s shield burst through the wooden barricade, instantly being the target of heavy fire.  Rook was able to squeeze the barrel of his gun in the small gap left between the doorway and the shield, taking out targets from behind safety.  Lion’s breach charge went off as Doc broke a panel of the barricade, firing at the targets who were more focused on Montagne and Rook’s sudden entrance.  Lion let out a breath after his bullets met their targets.

“EE-One-D is coming in for a scan.”

Twitch got up as Lion activated the drone, moving in with Doc while waiting for the countdown to finish and the scan to start.  

“Room to your left, Gilles, plenty of rabbits there.  A few coming down the stairs to your right, Manu.  Definitely a bomber.”

Doc fought back a roll of his eyes at Lion’s avoidance in addressing him.  He and Twitch still moved to watch the stairs, hearing the beeping of the bomber’s suit well before they saw him.  Gunfire off to their left was the signal that Montagne and Rook were handling the other room. Doc heard gunfire above him, assuming Lion was moving through the upper levels by himself.  He’s going to get himself shot, or worse.  His attention narrowed on the stairwell when he saw the blue light of the explosives on the suit, opening fire as the figure turned the corner.  

Twitch was crouched in front of him, aiming well for the bomber’s face.  When he recognized the target falling, Doc’s aim switched to the terrorists on the stairway.  The gunfire above him was starting to quiet down, meaning Lion was doing a thorough job of clearing out the smaller rooms.  Twitch was back on her drone, Doc knew, spotting her drone moving past him and over to the garage.

“Bomber in the garage, I’m going to check underneath.”

Lion kept carefully checking each room upstairs, able to surprise most targets before they could pinpoint where exactly he was.  He remembered clearly where they had shown up on his scan, still checking each room in case there were targets that had been sitting perfectly still.  It was a simple routine, one he was extremely well practiced in.  The familiarity of the movements put him at ease, even through the relatively high tension of this mission.  There were many ways it could go wrong, he knew, many enemies concentrated in one area could easily mean trouble.  

The explosion downstairs caught his attention, Doc’s voice sounding on the radio before he could even bring his hand up to his own.

“Gilles, Julien, are you alright?”

Lion could only assume that was the bomber Twitch had called out earlier.  Rook’s voice sounded somewhat out of breath.

“Yeah, we’re okay.  Gilles’ got it covered.”

“Before you ask, Doc, I’m not hurt too bad.  Just a few scrapes.”

Lion shook his head.  Doc’s concern for others was admirable, he would never be so intensely caring about people the way Doc was.  But, Doc had a tendency to work his hardest for everyone, concerned at even the slightest show of pain from people around him.  He didn’t want his teammates hurt either, but he knew Doc was going to try too hard to save people and get himself hurt in the process.  Or worse.  

He shook his head, finishing up his search of the top floor.  Doc and Twitch were heading around the ground level while Rook and Montagne headed underground.  

“Bringing in another scan, get ready.”

The EE-One-D started it’s countdown again, rumbling accompanying Twitch’s and Doc’s search through the building.  

“I see several in the basement, and a few in a room in front of you, Manu, but there’s probably more in there.”

“Got it.”

Doc and Twitch moved carefully, keeping focus off the gunfire downstairs or Lion’s movement above them as he worked to get back outside and join Rook and Montagne in the basement level.  Doc made sure to stay behind Twitch, being taller than she was and able to easily aim over her when she crouched even slightly.  He had no doubt that the three below him were handling the sub ground level well, pausing when Twitch herself stopped to throw out her other drone.  He made sure to keep watch, covering her as she scouted out the details of the reinforced room.

“There’s a lot in there, at least six.”

Twitch got up and brought her gun out, quickly taking point at the opposite side of the doorway.  Doc stood across from her, wordlessly agreeing on breaking the barricade and crossfiring to cover each other.  Twitch slammed the butt of her gun into the wood, immediately alerting the terrorists inside.  Bullets raced past them as they fired through the opening, Doc taking the opportunity to fire through the hole Twitch made and aiming at the terrorists he did see.  He didn’t flinch as the barricade fell apart, giving him a clearer view.  

When gunfire ceased, Twitch went back onto her drone as Doc moved to cover her.  The drone quietly whirred as it drove around the room, but Doc could see the light drone move around.  

“I think we’re clear, at least on this level.”

Doc couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief.  Stress had built in the tension of the mission, knowing they were vastly outnumbered.  

“We’ve got the ground level clear, how are you three handling-”

BANG!

Doc felt the burning pain in his chest before he fully registered the shot going off, bullet piercing through his armor and chest.  Twitch’s expression had turned from relaxed ease to one of pure horror, staggering but still turning to the source of the shot.  It took her only a few moments to spot the shooter and return fire, throwing her gun aside as Doc collapsed to the ground.

His mind was incredibly fuzzy, he could feel himself bleeding as well as the erratic beating of his heart.  Twitch’s hands were pressing down on his chest, quickly becoming coated in blood and making him realize he had been shot severely.  His own hand shakily reached to investigate, feeling Twitch reach for his stim pistol he always carried on him.  Large entry wound, meaning a high caliber shot to the chest, far too close to his heart for the stim to do anything helpful before he’d bleed out, he couldn’t hear anything but muffled and desperate cries and the oncoming pounding of footsteps as a group ran towards them, could barely manage breathing let alone telling Emma not to waste the epinephrine shots in an attempt that wouldn’t work-

Twitch couldn’t help herself moving in a frenzy, trying everything she could to keep Doc with them until proper medics showed up.  Rook, Montagne, and Lion were racing in now, she knew.  She had ignored their calls too much for them to not be concerned.

“Manu, what-”

Lion stopped, Rook sprinting past when they caught sight of the scene before them to kneel at Doc’s side.  Twitch shook her head, fighting back tears.  

“Gus, hang on!  Please, just hang on!”

He didn’t need to be any sort of medical expert to know the gunshot wound in his chest was most definitely fatal, too close to the vital arteries for anyone to get to them in time and be able to help.  Both of the younger operators were clearly devastated, Montagne taking a moment to recollect himself.  Lion knew the oldest of them all well enough to know it was hurting him, too, but right now the Mountain refused to show it.  The gentle touch on Rook’s shoulder from Montagne was enough to send the younger man into unbridled sobbing, accepting help up to his feet.  

“Manu, come on.”  

Lion walked over to Twitch, reaching out his hand to her.  The amount of blood coating her hands would have unsettled many others.  She shook her head, adamantly refusing to accept the harsh truth.  

“No, we can’t leave him.”

Lion reached for her arm, stepping back slightly when she tore her arm away.  

“I said no!  We’re not leaving him behind!”

“Manu, there’s nothing more we can do!”

He stepped forward again, not stepping back even as she glared at him through the growing tears.

“Don’t touch me.”

He took a quiet breath, making sure his rifle was tucked away before picking her up from her waist.  

“Olivier, put me down!”

“Emmanuelle, stop!  Enough!”

His voice roared, out of concern rather than any feeling of anger.  The room grew deathly quiet, save for the sound of sobbing as Twitch calmed down enough for anger to fade and sadness to take its place.  She turned to wrap her arms around him, sobbing into his chest.  He only had to look over to Montagne for the other man to understand, leaving them in the room as he gently guided Twitch outside the doorway.  

“I know, Manu, I know it hurts.”  

He truly felt sorry for her.  He could only imagine the struggles she wasn’t able to vocalize, the guilt and blame she felt at not being observant enough to notice the hostile outside the window.  He quietly rubbed her back and let her cry.  Evac would be there soon, but he wasn’t going to rush her now.  

#rainbow six siege #r6s Doc #r6s twitch #r6s rook #r6s Montagne #r6s Lion #my writing

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XI ※

here’s sentences from jenna’s 10 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences

I COOK MY BOYFRIEND’S FAVORITE MEAL

“Is this a leisure suit?”

“This is my own, customized, personal leisure suit.”

“I’m pretty sure that you got that out of my closet.”

“I bought it today with your credit card.”

“She drank wine, demanded greatness, and I delivered.”

“I guess it’s only fair - you did all that cooking for me, now I’ll do it for you.”

“I’m looking forward to the fact that you’re not going to be in the kitchen.”

“I should’ve never made this video.”

“Thank you, this is actually helpful.”

“Get your beer off the cutting board.”

“This recipe really requires a lot of knife skills that I don’t have.”

“How many times have things caught on fire?”

“I like this encouragement.”

“Seven fucking hours later, I’m still cutting these carrots.”

“I didn’t do that with you… I mean, I did, a little bit.”

“You’re not banned from the kitchen, with no arms.”

“I mean, I’m not the most gifted chopper, but this is nice and even.”

“This isn’t really looking that right.”

“This is not dough whatsoever. This is just a bowl of flour.”

“People make dumplings for fun?”

“Don’t worry, all you have to do is individually, carefully craft them by hand.”

“You asked me what I wanted, and I told you.”

“I’m hungry. I want to spend the next seven hours making my food.”

“I feel like this is the kind of dish that would break me. Like, I’m gonna cry.”

“It’s crazy how quickly I can eat one of these.”

“You told me this was gonna work.”

“This doesn’t look good at all.”

“If this doesn’t work, I’m gonna cry, and we’re just gonna starve.”

“It’s so thicc with two Cs.”

“Wait, so you can do this without being fancy, because, do I look like a fancy person to you?”

“I don’t like dumplings anymore, I just decided I’m allergic to dumplings.”

“I wanna move on with my life… I wanna get excited about my life.”

“Don’t cry and sing Dr. Phil.”

“Whoever invented dumplings is a sick, bored fuck.”

“These better be the best dumplings you’ve ever had, because, let me tell you something, it’s not worth it.”

“What year is it…!?”

“Somebody’s gonna die today.”

“That was the best part of my day, right there.”

“This is a terrifying food.”

“This is a violent dish.”

“I feel like they’re too hot to eat… only one way to test it.”

“This was worth all the stress and fury you went through.”

“How did you eat that, that’s so hot…!?”

“Why are all your recipes dangerous? Does it make your food taste better if it’s kind of dangerous?”

“It’s getting everywhere, I don’t like this.”

“I swear to god, I don’t want to go to the hospital tonight.”

“I know you had to be patient today, which you’re not used to being.”

“There’s nothing comforting about cooking these. It’s just violent, and tense, and stressful.”

CUTTING AND COLORING MY OWN HAIR 2

“He should’ve learned his lesson the first time he left me.”

“I’m really having a great time only doing my own hair.”

“A semi-permanent isn’t really a commitment.”

“It’s like a low-commitment tattoo.”

“If this is truly semi-permanent, I can do this shit whenever I want.”

“Guess who doesn’t give a fuck about her hair? Me, bitch.”

“Does this part feel like Doritos? Yeah, it does, but it’s all part of the journey.”

“I have great technique, I’m a born natural, bitch.”

“Instead of wearing a dumpy shirt that I don’t care about, I’ll wear my favorite shirt so that it forces me to be careful.”

“We’re making a semi-commitment right now.”

“Fuck it, let’s go to the Dark Side.”

“Oh, I’m making it worse.”

“Listen to that, doesn’t it sound like hair care at it’s finest?”

“All you people that joke about not going outside enough and not getting enough sun, try me, bitch.”

“Oh, how did this happen?”

“Why do we even bother wearing gloves?”

“I’m excited to see just how semi-permanent this is.”

“I am second guessing my methods.”

“Give me your honest opinion. What do you think?”

“I didn’t just want this color on my hair. I wanted it all over my face, body, and neck.”

“This is kind of fucking rad.”

“I dyed my hair by myself, at home, alone.”

“It’s dark, it’s fun, I look like a superhero.”

“Don’t even bother with all this parting shit, just get in there and do it.”

“Should I just go full bang? Should I do it?”

“I’m trying to do the most efficient thing.”

“I look like my mom in, like, 1960.”

“I’m trying to get to the point in life where, someday, when my kids see pictures and videos of me, they’re like, who the fuck is that?”

“This might be one of my favorite looks.”

“Boy, who the fuck do you think did it?”

“Why do I feel like that’s not true?”

“You look so fucking cute.”

“It says semi-permanent, I feel like it’s low-commitment.”

“I’m such a big fan of it.”

“Yeah, just give me a score out of ten, be as brutal as you want.”

“We’re gonna do some research, we’ll be back.”

TAKING MY DOG TO MEET SANTA

“That’s a great way of getting kicked right out of the mall and being asked to never come back.”

“I’m really hoping that they let us do this.”

“I don’t think that they allow dogs in this mall.”

“It says no dogs here, but then you see, like, seventy people with their dogs.”

“That was so easy and painless.”

“Never use the words ‘cuck’ and ‘Santa’ in the same sentence ever again.”

“That was so adorable.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to bug you guys.”

“Make sure you’re very kind and supportive of him.”

“I like magic and believing too.”

“The best part of snow globes is when Christmas is over you smash them on the ground.”

“Oh, fuck, here we go again.”

“The entire highway’s basically shut down.”

“The air quality is terrible - it sucks to go outside.”

“I spent $80 on this picture.”

RECREATING THE HAMSTER PICTURE

“You know what you’re signing up for, okay?”

“It’s not dumb, it needs to happen.”

“We are going to go rent a red convertible.”

“No, we’re not going to Tuscon.”

“Don’t tell anybody, but we’re faking this whole thing.”

“Alright, we’re fucked already.”

“No one has a fucking red convertible.”

“It’s weird, it’s like it’s not 1995 anymore.”

“You literally took like 100 pictures.”

“This is really stupid, but if we don’t do it, who’s gonna do it?”

“We tried and failed to rent a red convertible.”

“A sincere thank you for wasting your day.”

“We just wanted to make a meme.”

GIVING MYSELF TAPE IN HAIR EXTENSIONS

“I’ve used them, like, five times, tops.”

“It felt wrong, it looked wrong.”

“I feel like I’m missing out on the fun.”

“That sounds like the level of commitment I would like to make.”

“I want to ring in the new year looking like a snack.”

“I watched one tutorial on how to do it.”

“Should I really just go full-blown ‘I’m lost at the supermarket, can you please help me’?”

“We’re already off to a really mediocre start.”

“I hope that you brought a snack and have nothing to do today.”

“There’s no rules, right?”

“I legitimately don’t know how to part my hair.”

“Oh my god, what have I done?”

“Why are you laughing? Is it my scrunchie?”

“This is quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“If I was an alien, and I came to this planet, I feel like one of the things that I’d find absolutely hysterical is that we like to wear each other’s hair.”

“I’m in the middle of the hardest part, you’re such a fucking asshole.”

“Is that something I should’ve figured out beforehand?”

“We only have like seventy more.”

“Overall, it’s been kind of a nice experience.”

“It was hard. I tried my best. It was my first time.”

SHAVING MY FACE

“I’ve never done this before. Obviously.”

“I know my appearance is jarring.”

“It takes a lot of work to look this great.”

“You’re quite literally mixing up two of the most prominent X-Men right now.”

“Gambit throws playing cards. That’s it. That’s the end of Gambit.”

“I’m trying to shave my face, not get in an argument about Gambit.”

“He’s just a weird magician that was looking for a group of friends.”

“Do you wanna feel my face?”

“Wanna come over and watch me shave my face?”

“Your skin looks really good, it’s glowing.”

“Now I can do some violent shit to my face.”

“It said don’t shave your eyes, otherwise I would.”

“We’re getting ready, are you getting ready with me or not?”

“I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, but I put it on.”

“I feel like the payoff is amazing.”

“Why have you been hiding this secret from me?”

“I know this isn’t super duper exciting, but, for me, this is so exciting.”

MY DOGS MEET A CAT

“I ask Julien for a cat just about every day, and the answer is always no.”

“Our landlord won’t let us have any more animals.”

“No, what? That’s not part of this?”

“What this really is is just for you to get comfortable with a cat, and then like it, and then get me a cat.”

“That’s what today’s about.”

“I’m ready, I know you’re ready.”

“That’s the whole day today.”

“Stop making that face.”

“We’re not getting a cat, like, ever. No.”

“Getting a cat will help you be less of an Aries.”

“Sit wherever you wanna sit, do whatever you want.”

“That was a weird thing that you just did.”

“So… do you want to get one tomorrow, or… the day after?”

“I’m right here, and I have not agreed to anything.”

“Don’t pretend like you can’t hear me.”

“Who said that? Benjamin Franklin or Jesus?”

“I don’t know what’s going on.”

GIVING MYSELF A 90′S HAIR WRAP

“I’m shaving every time from here on out.”

“It’s basically a friendship bracelet on your hair.”

“You are much bolder than me, and do your thing.”

“Get you a man that pumps you up.”

“What camps did you go to when you were a kid?”

“Rules are made to be broken, sister.”

“Where are you going? Why are you leaving?”

“Are you calling me a preteen right now?”

“Oh, this is hard to do on yourself.”

“When you take a shower, this thing stays wet for fucking days.”

“On a scale of one to snack, how are you feeling?”

“We didn’t have lettermen jackets in seventh grade.”

“My first kiss was in seventh grade.”

“Do you know how hard it is to play clarinet with braces?”

“What the fuck is the big deal? This sucked. I hated it.”

“Oh, damn, you’ve been dating older girls for a while.”

“This takes me back so hard, wow.”

“No one please remind me that I fucked this up or else I’ll be very upset.”

“I feel like this a thing that twelve-year-olds and grandmas would be like, hell yeah.”

“That’s like buying a coloring book colored.”

“I have yet to do something that I really didn’t enjoy.”

“I worked hard on this for six minutes.”

“We’re not friends anymore.”

“In case you thought I was done here, though, you’d be incorrect.”

“She was my favorite singer in the 90’s, and then I graduated to Sarah McLaughlin.”

“First of all, this is a deadly fucking weapon.”

“Ow, don’t pull it, oh my god, don’t pull on it.”

MAKING TERRIBLE HOT GLUE CRAFTS

“I got, like, physically angry. I got hot in the face, and was kind of mad.”

“The things that people will do with a hot glue gun and call it a hack is just… beyond.”

“I cannot justify spending my time that way.”

“If anyone’s actually going to sit down and do these crafts, it’s going to be me.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some time to kill and some glue to waste.”

“Do you see my hands shaking already? Like, I’m tired. This is exhausting.”

“I’m a little confused as to why you’re spending this kind of money to glue yourself a pair of shoes that have holes in the bottoms.”

“I’m just gonna do it on my table because I’ve stopped giving a fuck.”

“I have strong, meaty arms which sometimes look fat in shirts.”

“I’m not trying to stifle anyone’s creativity, but this is a fucking waste of time.”

“I think this is a very loose definition of ‘shoes’.”

“I’m just sort of waiting for it to be over.”

“I’m just settling for blobby blob mess at this point, because I just don’t care.”

“This design is flawed.”

“They’re not structurally sound anywhere.”

“After a couple of seconds, it physically starts to hurt.”

“They’re not shoes at all, this is not okay.”

“This doesn’t feel good, and they don’t work.”

“I will never get this part of my life back.”

“No, you can’t do this, it’s not okay.”

“This is not a solution to any problem, this is a mess.”

“I don’t care about the rest of this paper, I’m not going to use it for anything.”

“I love my money. I love just taking it and dumping it in the toilet.”

“You could maybe wear this for fifteen minutes before it inevitably broke.”

“Just because you can make it, doesn’t mean you should.”

“This does not work, this does not work, this doesn’t work, okay, it’s working.”

“I’m trying my best, I’m not trying to fuck this up.”

“Does it look good? Does it look like tears and sadness?”

“I’m mad at myself. I can’t believe I’ve done this.”

“I really can’t handle another time like this. This is a dark time.”

“I did it, and I’m here to tell you it’s not worth it.”

“I feel sad on the inside, I don’t like it.”

“These are not life hacks. Do I look like someone whose life is better after doing this?”

“They don’t work and it pisses me off. This is a lie.”

“This is what happens when you leave. You can’t leave. You have to stay.”

“Does it look better like this? No — that’s worse. That’s worse, I’m sorry.”

MAKING OUR FAVORITE SOUP

“I’m just having one of those days when I just want to curl up under a blanket.”

“I’m sick.”

“I’m having a day where I’m not a person.”

“I’m so sorry, man, it’s just not in the cards for today.”

“I know you have days like this, too.”

“It doesn’t matter when you’re having a day like this.”

“I’m the best chef.”

“Just to be clear, you don’t want to go to the ER?”

“What’s going on with your pants?”

“I’m gonna go ahead and burn myself.”

“Maybe, instead of going out for a date right now, we can, when we sit down and have dinner, we can light a candle and hold hands the whole time we eat.”

“I’m large.”

“I’m gonna eat once now and once in two hours and it’s gonna be gone.”

“Do you think we have a tablespoon? Because I’m not going to the store.”

“Don’t listen to him, that is not true.”

“It’s really good, I burnt my tongue a little bit.”

“First of all, it’s amazing, second of all, it’s amazing, third of all… what?”

“Literally walking through the middle of TSA - that’s a bad time to have soup.”

#rp memes #rp sentence starters #roleplay meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #mine

[rantingisabadhabitbutwhatev]

June 28, 2021

Well, it's been a few years since I wrote anything here. Mostly because these past few years have been an absolute whirlwind. My last post ended with Sean and I almost becoming official. Well, last week we had our 3 year anniversary together. Time flies.

Since my last post, I got accepted into the biotechnology program, for which I am forever grateful for. The program is very, very difficult and was the most mentally and emotionally taxing thing I had ever done up until that point. Being in class from 8:30am-4:30pm everyday with only 1 hour lunch break was rough. 6 to 7 classes a term was rough. Having a never ending midterm season was rough. But it was worth it. I made some amazing friends who I will hopefully have for the rest of my life. I gained some amazing lab skills and had some amazing opportunities. And best of all, I can actually see an end goal for my career. I don't know exactly what it will look like yet, but I know I want to be working on research in some sort of management position. Maybe not for forever, but for some time at least.

First year at BCIT was rough. Hard adjustments, lots of work and figuring out our class dynamic. But I came out of it stronger, knowing more about what I could do and how to succeed. Sean and I went through a rough patch in November of our first year together. His best friend from high school, whom he had feelings for for most of the time in school with her, was breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 years and basically went to Sean and said "I said no in the past but if you asked me now, I would say yes." And he doesn't know what to do so all he can do is come and tell me about it. And of course this happens on my birthday. So what do I do for my 18th birthday? Cry all night long. Yea, it was fun. It takes him a week to decide to choose us. Pretty rough but in the end it makes us stronger, especially since she comes around again in a year (but I'll get to that). After that Christmas, things change again. We were happy and then suddenly we stopped texting. Because of my schedule, we could only see each other once a week on Fridays. Everything was fine when we were together but during the week, everything felt empty and wrong. It took us until April to finally talk about it - I even wrote a letter about being upset that he's never read. But we finally talk about it and we figure out that we need to talk more and so we start calling each other. From then on, we try to discord each night and it has done us well.

After my first year at BCIT, I land my first co-op job in the Hancock Lab. I didn't think I was going to get a job at that point but I was so glad that I did. We did some really cool stuff with pseudomonas where we screened mutants for biofilm defects and tested biofilm growth in anaerobic conditions. I got to present my first poster at CBR Research Day. The lab pre-covid is amazing. Susan bought us beer and pizza and sushi every Friday and over the course of the summer, the drinking of the beer would start earlier and earlier (5pm at the beginning, all the way up till 2pm by the end of the summer). I had a great time in the lab and learned a lot.

My second year at BCIT was rough too. The workload got even worse that first term and I'm pretty sure we all hit our lowest lows. Just surviving became the name of the game and we did it well. Despite that, we had time to go play volleyball and support Josie's badminton tournament and fool around playing ultimate and snowball fights. We had some amazing memories and we didn't realize how fast time would fly until it was almost over.

And then Covid-19 hit. Assumed to be transferred from some sort of animal to humans in a Chinese wet market, racism and violence against Asians skyrocketed, just as the world shut down. Our last month at BCIT was canceled right before our eyes and we never got to celebrate finishing and surviving. Instead, classes went to online lectures and exams went to online formats and we stopped being able to see friends or go out or do anything really. Restaurants and attractions were shut down, maximum capacities and masks enforced and uncertainty everywhere. Talks for vaccines were hopeful, but I was skeptical about anything being ready until 2021. And I was right. As of today, all of us in the family have 1 dose of Moderna, although Mom is to get her second dose next week. Things are slowly opening up (provincial travel bans were lifted and movie theaters opened 2 weeks ago!) They're talking about what a post-covid world will look like, and I think everyone is grateful. In some ways, we lost a year and a half of our lives to this virus.

After finishing my time at BCIT, I was hoping to do a 4 month co-op placement abroad. Nothing of my applications turned out, but given covid, all travel ended up being restricted anyways. Not only that, there were no co-op jobs as every company in the world faced very uncertain economic and social times. I ended up taking April and May off and worked June and July at Collingwood again. Camp was different (lots of pool noodles and yoga mats) but in some ways, very much the same. I was grateful.

Despite the continued uncertainty of the next school year in a pandemic world, I was lucky to have the connections with the Hancock lab to allow me to do a full 8 month Honours Thesis with them. I took 4 classes per term on top of that and took them in the bioinformatics room on my laptop so I could be in the lab for the rest of the day. And boy, was I always there. 9am starts to 7pm finishes were not uncommon. Plus the 1.5 hour commute each way. Things were not easy. I thought BCIT was hard. 4th year at UBC trumps BCIT, easy. I was always stressed and strung out, I was constantly having to miss classes to do experiments (thank God for recordings) and at times, basic things refused to work (bacterial plating will be the death of me yet). The mandatory classes were all crappy and each have their own story that I may have to tell another time, but needless to say, I was not having a good time. I'm glad I made the effort to do an 8 month project, and in a way Covid made it both easier and harder. Easier because everything was recorded so my schedule was flexible (although I did my best to try to attend most lectures synchronously). Harder because I was in the lab more than I should have been and it meant some of my school work was compromised (thank God for Nabeel inviting me to his CHBE group). I survived, but I don't think I would have been able to go on much longer. Thank God for co-op and 8 months away from school.

In January, we were all on the hunt for co-op positions. Amazingly, I was super popular, scoring 6 different interviews of the 12 different applications I put in. I never got a Zymeworks invite though, which made me a little disappointed. But I think it worked out for the better because it meant I was more open when I was calling with Michelle. Meeting with Ting and Julien, we hit it off right away. I never get nervous for interviews and because of that, I feel like I'm really good at covering and clicking with interviewers. I asked lots of good questions and we were all laughing during that 1 hour interview. I got a call 2 days later from Michelle telling me I had gotten the job and I was so excited. It was the perfect fit. The chance to do more cell culture. The chance to do some research. The chance to maybe be hired on after grad. Working now, I feel really grateful for the opportunity. The company is a little odd, but our little CPD bubble is great to be a part of and I hope that one day we can make a difference.

I bought my first car on my first day of work - a 2012 Mazda 3 Hacthback with only 105k km. He's black and I've run him into the curb a few times, but he still looks super shiny (despite getting shat on within the first hour of being home) and I love him very much. The freedom of having my own car is amazing.

So why am I posting now? Well, I've been having some doubts and I needed a place to write it all out and I remembered this Tumblr. Reading back my old posts is a little sad because I started this Tumblr because I was sad. Things have been so much better in the last few years so I haven't been around. And make no mistake, I am so much happier than I was back then. But I've always learned while writing, so here I am to learn about myself and my feelings.

TBC

[newsnigeria]

Why France is hiding a cheap and tested virus cure

By Pepe Escobar – Posted with permission The French government is arguably helping Big Pharma profit from the Covid-19 pandemic What’s going on in the fifth largest economy in the world arguably points to a major collusion scandal in which the French government is helping Big Pharma to profit from the expansion of Covid-19. Informed French citizens are absolutely furious about it. My initial question to a serious, unimpeachable Paris source, jurist Valerie Bugault, was about the liaisons dangereuses between Macronism and Big Pharma and especially about the mysterious “disappearance” – more likely outright theft – of all the stocks of chloroquine in possession of the French government. Respected Professor Christian Perronne talked about the theft live in one of France’s 24/7 info channels: “The central pharmacy for the hospitals announced today that they were facing a total rupture of stocks, that they were pillaged.” With input from another, anonymous source, it’s now possible to establish a timeline that puts in much-needed perspective the recent actions of the French government.Let’s start with Yves Levy, who was the head of INSERM – the French National Institute of Health and Medical Research – from 2014 to 2018, when he was appointed as extraordinary state councilor for the Macron administration. Only 12 people in France have reached this status. Levy is married to Agnes Buzy, who until recently was minister of health under Macron. Buzy was essentially presented with an “offer you can’t refuse” by Macron’s party to leave the ministry – in the middle of the coronavirus crisis – and run for Mayor of Paris, where she was mercilessly trounced in the first round on March 16. Levy has a vicious running feud with Professor Didier Raoult – prolific and often-cited Marseille-based specialist in communicable diseases. Levy withheld the INSERM label from the world-renowned IHU (Hospital-University Institute) research center directed by Raoult. In practice, in October 2019, Levy revoked the status of “foundation” of the different IHUs so he could take over their research.

A picture taken on February 26, 2020 shows French professor Didier Raoult, biologist and professor of microbiology, specialized in infectious diseases and director of IHU Mediterranee Infection Institute posing in his office in Marseille, southeastern France. - Raoult reported this week that after treating 24 patients for six days with Plaquenil, the virus had disappeared in all but a quarter of them. The research has not yet been peer reviewed or published, and Raoult had come under fire by some scientists and officials in his native France for potentially raising false hopes. (Photo by GERARD JULIEN / AFP) French professor Didier Raoult, biologist and professor of microbiology, specializes in infectious diseases and director of IHU Mediterranee Infection Institute, poses in his office in Marseille, France. Photo: AFP/Gerard Julien Raoult was part of a clinical trial that in which hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin healed 90% of Covid-19 cases if they were tested very early. (Early, massive testing is at the heart of the successful South Korean strategy.) Raoult is opposed to the total lockdown of sane individuals and possible carriers – which he considers “medieval,” in an anachronistic sense. He’s in favor of massive testing (which, besides South Korea, was successful in Singapore, Taiwan and Vietnam) and a fast treatment with hydroxychloroquine. Only contaminated individuals should be confined. Chloroquine costs one euro for ten pills. And there’s the rub: Big Pharma – which, crucially, finances INSERM, and includes “national champion” Sanofi – would rather go for a way more profitable solution. Sanofi for the moment says it is “actively preparing” to produce chloroquine, but that may take “weeks,” and there’s no mention about pricing. A minister fleeing a tsunami Here’s the timeline: On January 13, Agnes Buzyn, still France’s Health Minister, classifies chloroquine as a “poisonous substance,” from now on only available by prescription. An astonishing move, considering that it has been sold off the shelf in France for half a century. On March 16, the Macron government orders a partial lockdown. There’s not a peep about chloroquine. Police initially are not required to wear masks; most have been stolen anyway, and there are not enough masks even for health workers. In 2011 France had nearly 1.5 billion masks: 800 million surgical masks and 600 million masks for health professionals generally. But then, over the years, the strategic stocks were not renewed, to please the EU and to apply the Maastricht criteria, which limited membership in the Growth and Stability Pact to countries whose budget deficits did not exceed 3% of GDP. One of those in charge at the time was Jerome Salomon, now a scientific counselor to the Macron government. On March 17, Agnes Buzyn says she has learned the spread of Covid-19 will be a major tsunami, for which the French health system has no solution. She also says it had been her understanding that the Paris mayoral election “would not take place” and that it was, ultimately, “a masquerade.” What she does not say is that she didn’t go public at the time she was running because the whole political focus by the Macron political machine was on winning the “masquerade.” The first round of the election meant nothing, as Covid-19 was advancing. The second round was postponed indefinitely. She had to know about the impending healthcare disaster. But as a candidate of the Macron machine she did not go public in timely fashion. In quick succession: The Macron government refuses to apply mass testing, as practiced with success in South Korea and Germany. Le Monde and the French state health agency characterize Raoult’s research as fake news, before issuing a retraction. Professor Perrone reveals on the 24/7 LCI news channel that the stock of chloroquine at the French central pharmacy has been stolen. Thanks to a tweet by Elon Musk, President Trump says chloroquine should be available to all Americans. Sufferers of lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, who already have supply problems with the only drug that offers them relief, set social media afire with their panic. US doctors and other medical professionals take to hoarding the medicine for the use of themselves and those close to them, faking prescriptions to indicate they are for patients with lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. Morocco buys the stock of chloroquine from Sanofi in Casablanca. Pakistan decides to increase its production of chloroquine to be sent to China. Switzerland discards the total lockdown of its population; goes for mass testing and fast treatment; and accuses France of practicing  “spectacle politics.” Christian Estrosi, the mayor of Nice, having had himself treated with chloroquine, without any government input, directly calls Sanofi so they may deliver chloroquine to Nice hospitals. Because of Raoult’s research, a large-scale chloroquine test finally starts in France, under the – predictable – direction of INSERM, which wants to “remake the experiments in other independent medical centers.” This will take at least an extra six weeks – as the Elysee Palace’s scientific council now mulls the extension of France’s total lockdown to … six weeks. If joint use of hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin proves definitely effective among the most gravely ill, quarantines may be reduced in select clusters. The only French company that still manufactures chloroquine is under judicial intervention. That puts the chloroquine hoarding and theft into full perspective. It will take time for these stocks to be replenished, thus allowing Big Pharma the leeway to have what it wants: a costly solution. It appears the perpetrators of the chloroquine theft were very well informed. Bagged nurses This chain of events, astonishing for a highly developed G-7 nation proud of its health service, is part of a long, painful process embedded in neoliberal dogma. EU-driven austerity mixed with the profit motive resulted in a very lax attitude towards the health system. As Bugault told me, “test kits – very few in number – were always available but mostly for a small group connected to the French government .  Same for chloroquine, which this government did everything to make inaccessible for the population. They did not make life easy for Professor Raoult – he received death threats and was intimidated by ‘journalists.’ And they did not protect vital stocks. Still under the Hollande government, there was a conscious liquidation of the stock of masks – which had existed in large quantities in all hospitals. Not to mention that the suppression of hospital beds and hospital means accelerated under Sarkozy.” This ties in with anguished reports by French citizens of nurses now having to use trash bags due to the lack of proper medical gear. At the same time, in another astonishing development, the French state refuses to requisition private hospitals and clinics – which are practically empty at this stage – even as the president of their own association, Lamine Garbi, has pleaded for such a public service initiative: “I solemnly demand that we are requisitioned to help public hospitals. Our facilities are prepared. The wave that surprised the east of France must teach us a lesson.” Bugault reconfirms the health situation in France “is very serious and will become even worse due to these political decisions – absence of masks, political refusal to massively test people, refusal of free access to chloroquine – in a context of supreme distress at the hospitals. This will last and destitution will be the norm.” Professor vs president In an explosive development on Tuesday, Raoult said he’s not participating in Macron’s scientific council anymore, even though he’s not quitting it altogether. Raoult once again insists on massive testing on a national scale to detect suspected cases, and then isolate and treat patients who tested positive. In a nutshell: the South Korean model. That’s exactly what is expected from the IHU in Marseille, where hundreds of residents continue to queue up for testing. And that ties in with the conclusions by a top Chinese expert on Covid-19, Zhang Nanshan, who says that treatment with chloroquine phospate had a “positive impact,” with patients testing negative after around four days. The key point has been stressed by Raoult: Use chloroquine in very special circumstances, for people tested very early, when the disease is not advanced yet, and only in these cases. He’s not advocating chloroquine for everyone. It’s exactly what the Chinese did, along with their use of Interferon. For years, Raoult has been pleading for a drastic revision of health economic models, so the treatments, cure and therapies created mostly during the 20th century, are considered a patrimony in the service of all humanity.“That’s not the case”, he says, “because we abandon medicine that is not profitable, even if it’s effective. That’s why almost no antibiotics are manufactured in the West.” On Tuesday, the French Health Ministry officially prohibited the utilization of treatment based on chloroquine recommended by Raoult.  In fact the treatment is only allowed for terminal Covid-19 patients, with no other possibility of healing. This cannot but expose the Macron government to more accusations of at least inefficiency – added to the absence of masks, tests, contact tracing and ventilators. On Wednesday, commenting on the new government guidelines, Raoult said, “When damage to the lungs is too important, and patients arrive for reanimation, they practically do not harbor viruses in their bodies any more. It’s too late to treat them with chloroquine. Are these the only cases – the very serious cases – that will be treated with chloroquine under the new directive by Veran?” If so, he added ironically, “then they will be able to say with scientific certainty that chloroquine does not work.” Raoult was unavailable for comment on Western news media articles citing Chinese test results that would suggest he is wrong about the efficacy of chloroquine in dealing with mild cases of Covid-19. Staffers pointed instead to his comments in the IHU bulletin. There Raoult says it’s “insulting” to ask if we can trust the Chinese on the use of chloroquine. “If this was an American disease, and the president of the United States said, ‘We need to treat patients with that,’ nobody would discuss it.” In China, he adds, there were “enough elements so the Chinese government and all Chinese experts who know coronaviruses took an official position that ‘we must treat with chloroquine.’ Between the moment when we have the first results and an accepted international publication, there is no credible alternative among people who are the most knowledgeable in the world. They took this measure in the interest of public health.” Crucially: if he had coronavirus, Raoult says he would take chloroquine. Since Raoult is rated by his peers as the number one world expert  in communicable diseases, way above Dr. Anthony Fauci in the US, I would say the new reports represent Big Pharma talking. Raoult has been mercilessly savaged and demonized by French corporate media that are controlled by a few oligarchs closely linked to Macronism. Not by accident the demonization has reached gilets jaunes (yellow vest) levels, especially because of the extremely popular hashtag  #IlsSavaient (“They knew”), with which the yellow vests stress that French elites have “managed” the Covid-19 crisis by protecting themselves while leaving the population defenseless against the virus. That ties in with the controversial analysis by crack philosopher Giorgio Agamben in a column published a month ago, where he was already arguing that Covid-19 clearly shows that the state of exception – similar to a state of emergency but with differences important to philosophers – has become fully normalized in the West. Agamben was speaking not as a doctor or a virologist but as a master thinker, following in the steps of Foucault, Walter Benjamin and Hannah Arendt. Noting how a latent state of fear has metastasized into a state of collective panic, for which Covid-19 “offers once again the ideal pretext,” he described how, “in a perverse vicious circle, the limitation of freedom imposed by governments is accepted in the name of a desire for security that was induced by the same governments that now intervene to satisfy it.” There was no state of collective panic in South Korea, Singapore, Taiwan and Vietnam – to mention four Asian examples outside of China. A dogged combination of mass testing and contact tracing was applied with immense professionalism. It worked. In the Chinese case, with the help of chloroquine. And in all Asian cases, without a murky profit motive to the benefit of Big Pharma. There hasn’t yet appeared the smoking gun that proves the Macron system not only is incompetent to deal with Covid-19 but also is dragging the process so Big Pharma can come up with a miracle vaccine, fast. But the pattern to discourage chloroquine is more than laid out above – in parallel to the demonization of Raoult. Read the full article

#Coronavirus #France