#which was like. maybe 2018? I think it was 2018

[churchydraws]

Moonageddon continues! This time it’s @artoutoftheblue‘s lovely Moon. I love their clothes patterns a lot, they’re fun.

#fnaf moon #moon fnaf #fnaf moondrop #moondrop fnaf #security breach daycare attendant #daycare attendant #daycare attendant moon #security breach #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's security breach #the daycare fandom #fnaf daycare attendant #five nights at freddys daycare attendant #my art #fanart #for others #I kinda wanna make a custom brush for the patterns but I'm not sure Fire Alpaca can do that #I know Sketchbook Pro could but I haven't used that since it decided to fuck itself #which was like. maybe 2018? I think it was 2018 #BUT ANYWAYS I'm gonna draw so many different Moons. there are so many good ones #moondrop

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future'' #things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol.. #Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

[moodr1ng]

i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..

#97 #i guess if it happened every single day or something i would probably feel more confident identifying it as like.... #idk some type of disability or at least something worth integrating into my definition of my general health #and ensuing relationship to my body to the medical system etc etc #but bc it only happens when i walk briskly for a bit and i dont even go out for a walk every day it doesnt feel worth mentioning #anyway ive had this since 2019 or 2018 lol but the first round of attempted diagnosing i gave up early #and for a few years i just ignored it which is easier when i dont get out a lot anyway #but im currently in the process of attempting to figure out what it is again.. #by september ill know if its compartment syndrome which has been brought up but is apparently unlikely #thats the last exam were doing so. if its not that then ngl idk what the next options are #bc this was everything my doctor could think of to explain it #another thing abt it not being diagnosed and not clearly being a disability is i dont dare ask for a seat in public when i need one lol #which has been an issue a few times where every seat is taken but i REALLY need to sit to stop the pain #if i could say 'excuse me i have (x thing) i really need a seat' id maybe dare to ask #but i dont manage to just be like 'hey could i get a seat my legs hurt' lol

[daandov]

thank you guys, btw, for like. . . giving val the time of day. really writing her over the past few months, between trying her out in the bg3 fandom then moving her back in elder scrolls where she belongs, has fueled a lot of happiness and joy on my end. she's been my brain nugget for years so finally being able to explore her more has really flexed my creative muscle. i think about her constantly. and i just want to thank you again for giving her a chance and liking my metas and plotting with me, it's probably one of the better 'female oc' experiences i've had so far here and i'm trying really hard to pay it forward.

#idk i wanted to gush a little #i've been doing elder scrolls shit on here for. . . god years ever since i started writing serana #which was like. . . maybe 2017/2018? #and was always nervous to bring out val because i figured she wouldn't get a lot of attention #and of course duh there's good and bad days #but i think i finally have a little group of y'all who i adore and who really fuel my creativity and love for her #and i'm forever grateful #* . ⌜ ooc. ⌟

[mariyekos]

Btw for anyone who's never visited my blog and/or doesn't use desktop, I just want you to know that it's a relic blog with an audioplayer, the old tumblr format of indented posts, and a custom floating gif that walks up the right side of the page. I put my love into this theme and I'm going to share it!

#erurandomness #erubabbles #I think I've had my theme like this since...maybe 2017ish? oh god how long has it been #The NieR image in the side is probably a 2017ish thing since that's when I played it. Maybe 2018 because I didn't lose interest right away #I also remember that the background (right side) was Tenebrae from FFXV which I was super into in 2016/17ish #so yeah I want to say the bones have been like this since 2017ish #though I've changed some things over time. #I think I used to have more blues or a different green in the solid color part of the side bar #I've also edited the fonts colors and headers #the audio player songs I've changed a few times. and need to do it again because 2 or 3 of the links are dead #and kain I added in a few months ago. it was a different gif before #but yeah! i don't know why tumblr is getting rid of people's custom blogs but for now I still have mine #I'm going to get really sad if they get rid of them entirely. i've put dozens if not hundreds of hours into customizing mine #and my side pages #over the years. both this one and side blogs. this year will make 11 years of being on tumblr man. so i've invested a lot of time into it! #i will say that this view is at 133% zoom but I don't want to make the theme itself any larger for the sake of ppl with small screens

[judicent]

Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME

#da #nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭 #if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video #except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode #idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks #no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives #gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point #I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on #like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild #another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing #or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book. #anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it #come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES #u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN #but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it #hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that #actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too #it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex. #the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though. #I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be #y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time #welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets #I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3

[polaraffect]

crazy just howww much saltburn was a movie filmed For Me. i was there for the dark academia boom on tumblr. i was part of its creation. there's like a straight line between my posting about the secret history on tumblr and the creation of this film.

#damien.txt #just thought abt how this is like. every revenge fantasy anyone in the tsh fandom cooked up in like 2018 lmao #to be fair it is more than that but like. it's also just very very there #anyways this post is abt dark academia specifically but like. in so many other ways #the gay longing obv. the dog motifs. the fact that felix is wearing a juliet costume at the party. #sickeningggggg maybe i would be better off if i hadn't seen this movie #i can literally tell i will defend this movie to its death i dont even care #like it has objective problems but truly they do not even matter to me. i feel like it is my child. #could it have been more transgressive? yes! but also no have you seen the response to it #anywayyys sorry ill stop posting abt it for now but like. truly nauseating the level at which i will be thinking abt this #saltburn

[weirdbabs]

anyway i dont really care about the new dragon age game but the only bringing 2 companions w you sounds like its gonna suck. youre going to be essentially forcing players to never bring out a companion w the same class as them unless they dont mind being unbalanced

#and thats ignoring how lonely its going to feel. the first time i played ME in 2014 i was like WHERE IS EVERYONE???? :( #mage+rogue+warrior+[extra] makes for a nice and balanced party while allowing you to bring out faves even if they arent the strongest #i wouldve never brought out cole in dai if i didnt have others to support him #or maybe theyre planning on making the rogues even more useless than in dai. you could very well get thru most if not all the game w/out one #w no consequence i can think of aside from like. not completing your collections. there were no traps. no chests. #just doors. mosts of which you could get thru without a rogue if you hit it right #dragon age #im not gonna say that im never going to play it bc im sure ill get curious about it eventually but. yeah. da4 doesnt excite me anymore #and the more i hear about it the less excited i get. its been like that sonce 2018 or so

[chronotopes]

WHY do no virginia colleges have nonfiction mfa programs except for the one i don't really like the nonfiction faculty at. it's not fucking fair.

(warning so much whining occurs in the tags)

#i am 90% confident that i could get into that one first try and get funding and not have to move but that's the problem #i want one where admission feels like a challenge this one admitted a person i knew in freshman year whose writing i thought sucked shit #and i realize that 'writing sucked shit in 2018' doesn't mean they might not be very good now but...... idk. one of the two nonfiction #faculty members just writes politics journalism which is NOT CNF!!!!!! the students seem really cool but that's true anywhere!! #but everything else i have to move states and risk jennys career for. and i dont want to do low res bc i wanna learn to teach #i realize that it's just a case of 'you want too fucking much katia' but it's not faaaair va has so many good colleges & no good cnf progra #the real answer is i will apply when i planned (a year from this fall) and let fate decide and jenny is smart and cool and will find a job #with the awareness that i'm limiting my mfa applications to large metropolitan areas for reasons besides Job Availability For Wife #it's just all so complicated and stressful #and to add insult to injury pittsburgh would be way easier than the midwest but THAT TOO has professors i like less #and faculty is key yknow #anyway the school i'm dunking on here will probably be my safety regardless i'd rather have An MFA than none at all i think #but bluhhhh it makes me sad #i would happily go to tech or uva if they HAD A CNF PROGRAM #well okay maybe moreso uva but only because tech is in the middle of nowhere #RIGHT AND ALSO UMD #WHICH FUNDS 100% OF THE PEOPLE IT ACCEPTS BUT AGAIN: NO NONFICTION #i shoulda been a fucking poet

[de-adend-archived]

de-adend -> de-adend-archived o7 so long!

#text #not art #dont worry abt me posting this in the early ams im studying for an exam this month and its ruined my sleep schedule okay aNYWAYS #tilts head side to side #did you know i made this side blog back in 2018 and it only has 123 posts #i mean my tablet got busted like at some point that year and i borrowed my friend's which was a whole adjustment period #but in 2019 i really hit a stride when i watched the hzbn pilot and very much enjoyed drawing fanart and ocs for it #and like yeah they werent very cleaned up and defo counted more as sketches but that year i did save like 240 as postable pngs #2020 was around 300 a brief lull in 2021 at like 100 #2022 was about 300 and 2023 was around 200 #i was mullin over these numbers for a bit a while ago when i did that whole new yearly contemplation of 'i wanna draw and post more!' #when like. ive posted about 10% of my art thruout the years [me!!! when i love validation more than god!!!] #and it got me thinking #blinks looks around i mean ill probably still like #post on my other blog bc art is my flesh blood and bones i cant escape it #just you kno maybe not like in the same mindset i unknowingly cultivated within myself here specifically #can u believe it wasnt any aiscare that did it!!! never let a machine take a humans job of feeling bad abt themselves this is home grown

[ninthwonderoftheworld]

But fr this is one of the longest running fandoms I've been in

#like ive been in a lot of fandoms for a long time #but not like.. taking in content daily and just generally being hyperfixated #i think my second longest fandom qas the Beatles #which i was absolutely brain fogged for about 8 months before it began to fade #fnaf was kinda on and off #i was there since the beginning for maybe a few months #maybe like 2 or 3 #and then when sister location came out i was in for about 4 months maybe #and then for a little bit when security breach came out maybe a month or so #so i dont like counting that one #other longer ones were Undertale (base game) which was for about 4 months #Everymanhybrid although that was like the entire summer of 2021 #and then about an entire month in 2022 right before i got into dsmp #Gorillaz for about 3 months in 2019 (good god it was that long ago) #Sanders Sides was super split up #maybe like 2 weeks after a new episode came our since 2018 #so a decent amount of time #Dan and Phil a little bit in like 2016-2017 #probably like a month or so #full swing after their coming out like maybe 4 months #and then the entirety of April and May in 2021 #Squid game about 2 or 3 months #Good Omens took over my Gorillaz hyperfix in November 2019 to about January 2020 when the Beatles took over #OFMD and Heartstopper were congruent for like 2 months #Moon Knight for about a month #yeah theres a lot #anyway most dont make it past 4 months until either taking a break or just stopping completely #so this is a bit wild for me #and its strange cause this is one of the more.... stressful fandoms ive been in 💀 #anyway YIPPEE anniversary coming up

[stars-inthe-sky]

First Lines of Fic Game

Tagged by @etraytin

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway

Tagging: @running-rabbit, @lulabo, @kyrafic, @formerlyir, @scullyseviltwin, @stillscape, @miabicicletta, @mhalachai, @blithers, and @gallifreyburning

1. le feu dans mon âme (The Musketeers AU): “You’re late,” Athos says, barely looking up from his position leaning against the bullpen gate. “And you’re sober!” Aramis retorts. “Quite a morning we’re all having.”

2. More Than a Hunch (Life With Derek): “Honey,” George calls from the kitchen. “Are we good parents?” Nora finishes closing the front door against the summer heat and wanders to the back of the house. “Well, we’re definitely parents.”

3. lit a fire while i waited for more (Buckynat/Marvel): It’s the kind of kiss where no one cares who made the first move—only that it got made. The problem is that it happens in the midst of a practice bout, when they’re both wearing the base layers of their respective tactical gear, none of which is meant for easy removal.

4. it was summer when i saw your face (Buckynat/Marvel): Natasha comes to, and the toxins must be out of her system because she feels perfectly fine, if cold in her hospital gown. She blinks and shakes her head, then takes account of her surroundings.

5. looked like a teenage runaway (Buckynat/Marvel): “No, I think Barnes is doing a group thing with some of the others,” Clint says. “Much as I’ve enjoyed your strictly platonic couple’s costumes the last few times Tony’s made us all dress up…”

6. those endless nights that we traveled (Buckynat/Marvel): Bucky rests his forehead against the shower tile, letting the hot water wash over sore muscles and trying not to groan with relief.

7. we were shotgun lovers (Buckynat/Marvel): Natasha is hanging upside-down from a thick pipe in an otherwise empty sea of cubicles when a familiar head comes into view.

8. some killer queen you are (Buckynat/Marvel AU): “Still can’t believe that worked,” Bucky commented, locking the front door to the furrier shop for the night and closing the shutters. “The alliance, sure, but also you bein’ open to playin’ so nice.” “You and I both, Mr. Barnes.” Behind him, Natasha is carefully secreting the several bottles of liquor that had earlier sealed the deal—Stark’s jury-rigged Sambuca, moonshine whiskey from Rogers, the Odinson’s aquavit, and her own bathtub vodka—under various floorboards.

9. how to get back there (Buckynat/Marvel AU): Natasha starts running in the breath after she wakes and sees the helicopter she’d fallen from fading into the horizon. She had landed on a flat roof, fortunately, and she bolts toward the fire escape at its edge, zigzagging to dodge the laser fire peppering the space around her. Something fast and hot ghosts along her left hip, but she pushes it out of mind, letting momentum carry her forward.

10. the red and the white and the blue'll come through! (Team Cap/Marvel): Everybody takes turns suiting up and keeping watch—Wanda changes in the van—and they’re off to Leipzig inside of ten minutes. Steve takes the wheel with Sam riding shotgun; Bucky very deliberately sits directly behind Steve, leaving Scott and Wanda to clamber into the backseat while Clint settles nonchalantly alongside Bucky. They ride in tense silence for a few minutes, Steve taking extra care to follow every traffic law while avoiding main thoroughfares with heavier surveillance, before Scott says, “So…you’re really Bucky Barnes? Like, the Kid Commando?”

#fic meme #writing meme #fic is a way of life #god but i haven't written fic in so long #i had a pretty steady clip going from about 2012 through later 2018 #but then aside from that one musketeers number that i eked out during the initial covid lockdowns for red's birthday that year #it's been a complete dry spell ever since #it's not even a lack of time #just...inspiration. maybe even interest? #i like to think if i had a sufficiently good and fleshed-out idea that i'd write it down #but i really don't #and all the lovely fuckyeahbuckynatasha prompt-fests that used to get a LOT of fun stuff out of me have dwindled away #which is fine! canon has mostly killed the dream i dreamed! #(which is not fine but i mean i don't have more to write there anyway)

[maddy-ferguson]

i think about pluto will always be a planet in my room at least once every three months when i rewatch gilmore girls season 7 episode 11 santa's secret stuff and they talk about how pluto isn't a planet anymore

#like ohhh that was kinda crazy it still is. #tome #i think riarkle was my first actual ship they're the first ship i ever read fanfic of before that i'd only read one direction fanfic like #when i was 12 and it was in french and not on ao3 and this fanfic era for me was short lived because the fics i was reading were too sad #like they would make me too upset?/?/))/? #i read this loooong one and all i remember is the self insert character getting cheated on and danielle losing her baby and i was so upset #i cried in my mother's arms which does not sound like me AT ALL and i couldn't even explain why because it was way too silly like oh my #god. so i was like no more fic for you and i really didn't read any until after i started watching gmw seriously in 2016 #i don't read fics for that many ships and when i do i can read fics for the same ship for literal years as long as they don't get together #/aren't together by the end of the show i can literally read it forever idc and so i actually haven't read fic for that many ships #like maybe 6 or 7. which i guess is a lot but like. for one (and i'll never say which one it is (even though it's like. a normal ship and #it's from a show you know i watch/enjoy)) #of these i literally read fics like every day for three years. i never get tired of like anything #i read shirbert fanfic same thing every day from summer 2018 to fall 2019 when season 3 aired and i could never read fics of them again #after they got together in the show (even though i knew they would and i had even watched the movies) like once it's done i really can't #make myself care anymore #anywzy. love pluto will always be a planet in my room riarkle you will always be famous!!!!! #and like i say: brf slt #or i guess #gilmore girling

[bomnun]

the news abt the girls in the park’s company no longer being operating made me go back and relisten to their discography again and it’s coming back to me how much I used to like them :( (I still like them lmao but as they hadn’t been active in over 18 months they weren’t at the forefront of my mind that often) all of them are so fun and their discography is definitely in the top 5 kpop discographies that tickle my brain the most. they had/have such good chemistry and energy, and omg seoryoung… still love how extra she is on every track and her gorgeous voice. I went on a bazooka and puzzle moon stage rewatch and ahhh they’re so fun… why did we have to (half) lose them so early

#personally #I would trade every 2022 debut for them 😩 #ik technically they haven’t disbanded #but they’re just tied down to this non-operating company #the members esp Lena still release some songs on soundcloud #but I’d love to see them as a kpop group that promotes as a kpop group again on music show stages with quirky spacey music videos again #it seems very unlikely :( #t says #it’s weird bc they were the third rookie group I got into when I got into kpop in the summer of 2018 #well. they hadn’t debuted them #but they were also like the new group that I started paying attention at their debut #which adds some attachment but tbh I didn’t really watch that much of them until 2019/2020 #Lena’s soundcloud music is good tho! I wish she got to write songs for them too #they have such creative members like miya designed their album art #seoryoung writes music too iirc #I think miya seokyoung and maybe minju choreograph too #(also the 2022 comment is just that idk! I find every 2022 debut underwhelming meanwhile they’re all blowing up which is good for them #please don’t get me wrong I don’t hate them or anything)

[xenon-demon]

actually that post about not leaving rude comments on fics you don’t like is making me think. we need to reintroduce the term “squick” (or at least the concept) to fandom. you should be able to say “this trope/fic/concept/whatever is a no for me for whatever reason, but I’m not saying it’s Inherently Evil or you’re Bad for reading/writing it it’s just Not My Thing”. plus it definitely used to be the norm that you wouldn’t give people criticism (even constructive criticism!) about their fics unless they explicitly asked for it - idk why some people abandoned that attitude.

#charlie.mp3 #ao3 #fandom etiquette #this is one of my fav hills to die on #I think ‘old fandom’ (aka the 2000s and earlier) had a lot right in terms of allowing people to coexist without it being a major moral issue #but maybe that’s just because I cut my teeth in the bandom/fob & mcr cinematic universe fandom #which meant engaging with a lot of fics and fan content from the 2000s #I was going on LIVEJOURNAL. in 2018!!! I never even HAD a livejournal I felt like an archivist #(I realise this makes me sound super young so apologies in advance to anyone I’m ageing with these comments lol)

[liesonthefloordramatically]

I've got demons running round in my head And they feed on insecurities I have Won't you lay your healing hands on my chest? Let your ritual clean

#今日の気分は #for once NOT a song I woke up with stuck in my head #because this morning I was awoken by the dulcet tones of one of my neighbors' fire alarms going off for 15+ hours #(it started shortly before I went to bed and I kept waking up to it every hour or so) #(but at like 6 am I had a dream that my apartment was on fire and I had to save my research materials before they caught on fire) #(and I woke up from that and was like okay. I'm done. no more attempts at sleeping until this alarm situation gets fixed) #(and then left a vaguely unhinged maintenance request) #but that's neither here nor there #anyway. this was picked because I started listening to all the music I saved on Spotify as I do every year #and got through all of it (in a surprisingly short time--I apparently didn't find much new music this year) #and then kept listening to that playlist. but then Spotify did that glitch where it suddenly jumps you WAY down on the playlist #and I should note. I do not use their music saving system. instead I have a playlist called Starred which I save all my music to #yes I am aware that this is slightly unhinged. anyway. moving on #so it teleported me back to like. early 2018/late 2017? several days ago? and I have just been listening backward in time since then #I think I saved this one in uhhhh 2016? or maybe early 2017. #anyway. I hear the spirit possession song and it's the 今日の気分は. that's just the rules #music #Bastille