#while Ava is so often moving towards her

[reversatility1]

Warrior Nun: Ava in motion around Bea’s stillness (except that one time Bea was drunk)

#Warrior Nun #Avatrice #Ava Silva #Sister Beatrice #Beatrice really holds herself so ramrod straight #while Ava is so often moving towards her #Ava's movements so openly express how much she is drawn to Bea #wanting to connect with her on this level too #even if they're not physically touching

[cupofsapphics]

The Coffee Shop

[ melissa schemmenti x reader ]

warning(s): none

summary: a new coffee shop opened near abbott and something, or rather someone, keeps a redhead coming back

a/n: feeding you guys one fic a year is so generous, right? right?? also forgive me you guys, it's been a while since i wrote... so mel might be a bit ooc

word count: 1.7k

Mondays were always a pain for the staff at Abbott. Work to catch up on, plan lessons, and more. Just like every other morning, Janine walked into the room with a bright smile. “Guys, did you hear about the new coffee shop that opened down the road?” 

Barbara gave her a glance and shook her head. “I’m satisfied with my regular coffee.”

Ava suddenly bursts through the door. “Girl, no wonder you always be lookin’ so miserable. That new place serves one hell of a coffee, y'all should try.” She grins as she puts countless spoons of sugar into her coffee.

Barbara and Melissa shared a skeptical look before getting up to go set up their classrooms for the incoming kids. Undeterred, Janine turned to Jacob “I’m thinking of checking it out tomorrow, do you wanna come?” 

“I’d be happy to, I’ve been planning to go over there anyway.” Jacob gushes. 

The next morning, the two pulled the door open to the shop and were taken aback by the sight before them. Compared to the frigid air outside, the cafe felt welcoming. The walls were plain white, but many paintings adorned them. Strings of warm lights hung from the ceiling, inviting passersby to sit and relax. You just opened the cafe a mere 15 minutes ago and the ring of your doorbell caught your attention as you were cleaning the counter.

“Hi! Welcome to my cafe, what can I get you?” You beamed as you leaned on the counter with both of your arms. Business has been slow ever since you started the shop, so it was nice to see people come in.

“Just a cappuccino, please,” the woman says excitedly and moves to sit down at one of the tables. You nodded and turned to her friend to find him staring at cookies, donuts, croissants, and muffins through the glass. You clear your throat and his attention redirects back to you as he orders quickly to join his friend at the table. You quickly get to work and start preparing.

You approach them, with the two drinks and snack in hand. Putting them on the table, you ask, “Are you guys from the school across from here? I don’t get a lot of customers, so it would make sense if you guys work nearby.” They take a sip as they listen to your inquiries and their eyes widen as they drink more. 

“Yeah, we’re from Abbott, the school just across from here. I’m sorry, but I just got to say, this coffee is absolutely amazing,” Janine rapidly finishes as she drinks more. You hear a muffle from her companion, which you could make out was along the lines of, “I know right.” You let out a light chuckle. The woman sticks her hand out and says, “By the way, my name’s Janine, and my friend over there is Jacob.” At the mention of his name, Jacob pauses from eating to give you a small wave. 

“Nice to meet you guys, I’m Y/N.”

Janine and Jacob talked to you for a few more minutes before they had to go back to prepare for their classes. They promised to come here as often as they could for their coffee. Over the course of a few weeks, you became good friends with both of them and often joined them for meetups outside of work.

--

You got a call from Janine about a week ago about having some drinks and snacks out for the staff at Abbott to enjoy. She asked if you could provide them and bring them over. “I’m sorry if this is kind of last minute,” she says nervously. “It’s okay, Janine. I’ll bring them over next Monday,” you replied reassuringly.

Monday came quickly and before you knew it, you found yourself in front of Abbott Elementary with armfuls of coffee and food. Scrambling to the counter, you ask the person in the front for a pass (Janine said you needed one) and made your way towards the staff room. There were already a good amount of teachers chatting amongst themselves. Janine made her way up to you as she took the boxes off your hands and set them on one of the tables. “Everyone, this is Y/N. She owns the coffee shop across from the school and was kind enough to bring us some coffee and food to get through the morning!” Janine rambles eagerly. 

Everyone’s eyes were on you as you gave a small wave and started to hand out some coffee. You let your eyes drift to a redhead with glasses focused on grading some papers. Noticing no coffee next to her, you made your way toward the table and gently put down a cup next to her. The sound made Melissa look up, preparing to give a cold response. However, she was surprised to find a sweet and unfamiliar face. 

Not expecting her eyes to look so mesmerizing, you practically stutter out, “Hi, I noticed you didn’t have any coffee cup next to you, so I just wanted to give you one.” Melissa blinked for few times, not used to kind gestures from strangers, let alone pretty ones. She didn’t reply until Barbara elbowed her side and she jolted back into reality. “Thanks for the coffee, sweetheart,” she murmured. You could feel your face turning beet red at the nickname as you nod slowly and make your way back to the table where Janine sat. 

Melissa smirked at your reaction, watching you turn and walk toward Janine’s table. In the corner of her eye, she saw her friend shaking her head. “Melissa Schemmenti, you sure are something,” Barbara states as she returned to her morning crossword. The redhead shrugged. She already had her coffee for the morning, but she wouldn’t mind another one if it came from you. 

Taking a sip of her new coffee, Melissa paused, licked her lips, and turned to Barbara. “Oh my god, this coffee is unbelievable.” Her friend raised an eyebrow as she took another sip. Melissa thought that it was about time she paid a visit to the coffee shop across the street. 

--

It was a busy morning for you. Your alarm didn’t go off and when you got to the cafe, you found the sink in the back having some issues. You were scrambling to fix the pipes somehow when you hear the doorbell ring. Panicking, you quickly made sure there would be no leaks and stood up, moving to wash your hands. “Hi, welcome to the cafe! Give me one second and I’ll be right with you,” you said promptly. You came out to the front but slowed down when you recognized who it was waiting to order. There she was in all her glory with her leather jacket and fiery hair. Realizing you’re still at work, you snap out of it. “What can I get you?” You lean on the counter waiting for her order.

Approaching the table, you handed the captivating woman her coffee and felt the redhead’s hand brush against yours. Your face was painted with a light blush, causing the woman to grin. “What’s your name, hon?” God, this woman was going to kill you. 

“The name’s Y/N. Nice to finally know the name of the gorgeous lady I saw the other day,” you replied. You weren’t sure where this confidence came from, but those questions disappeared when you witnessed her eyes widen at the unexpected answer. The moment was quick though, for she recovered and quipped back, “Well, nice to meet you Y/N. The name’s Melissa. What’s a pretty girl like you doing working in a coffee shop?”

From then on, Melissa came every morning before her classes started. It didn’t matter the circumstances: rain, hail, shine, snow, she would still be there every single morning chatting away with you. She said that it was because the coffee there was just unmatched by any she’s had anywhere else. You’d like to believe that if it weren’t for the fact that you two exchanged flirtatious remarks every single day. 

--

Another dreaded Monday came for everyone and it became a regular sight to see Melissa walking into the staff room with a coffee from the shop across the street. The redhead sat down in her usual place next to Barbara who glanced at the coffee but said nothing. Everyone was wondering the same thing, but no one wanted to say it. Janine, brave as ever, decided to break the silence. “So… you must really like the coffee from the shop that Y/N runs right?” Melissa looks at Janine and then proceeds to look at the coffee cup. A soft smile appears on her face as her thoughts drift to you and all the moments the two of you shared over the past month or two. “Hello, earth to Melissa!” Janine says with a confused expression. 

Melissa looks back up at Janine. “Yea, she makes the best coffee I’ve had in a while,” she says hastily as she goes back to her grading. Jacob turns away from Melissa to mutter to Janine and Gregory. “The coffee’s not the only thing that Melissa keeps going back for..” Gregory snorted as Janine tried her best not to laugh. 

Melissa heard what Jacob said and she thought about it for the entire day. Sure, the coffee was amazing, but it definitely wasn’t the real motivation for coming to the cafe every single day. Melissa finally came to the realization that Jacob was right. The next morning, the redhead practically barged through the door and walked towards you. The sudden impact of the door startled you as you see Melissa coming towards you with an unreadable expression. You couldn’t help but feel nervous as she rounds the counter and kisses you. To say you were caught off guard would be an understatement, but not wanting to give the wrong impression, you kissed her back. After what seemed like forever, both of you pulled away and a comfortable silence filled the room. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” Melissa let out a light chuckle before deciding to respond. “What do you say to dinner at my place tonight, hon?” The smile you offer her gives Melissa the answer she’s looking for.

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti imagine #abbot elementary imagine #lisa ann walter

[fookinavocadosman]

episode 1: paradise blues {HS}

It’s the first day of the retreat and y/n is struggling not to pounce on Harry. Secrets are revealed and more secrets are being made. 

warnings: none really. teasing. smut... (maybe)

word count: 2.5k

This morning was a rude awakening.

Literally.

First, Harry decided to tease me awake by using the hand he had on my stomach, letting his fingers play with the tiny bow on my underwear. Then, before I could fully be aware of my surroundings the lights in the bedroom turned on causing, everyone to groan. I bury my head back into the pillow as Harry nuzzles closer to me when a ding is heard throughout the room.

“Good morning. Today is your first full day at the retreat. Enjoy your first day of celibacy.” Lana announces throughout the room and no one makes a move to get up. Harry pushes his hips into mine pulling me closer to him with his arm.

“I don’t want to get up.” He mumbles and I sigh reaching my hand back to thread my fingers through his hair.

“Neither do I.” I mumble back. We all stay in bed before someone actively starts to get ready for the day. I eventually get Harry to let me go and I get ready putting on a black and white bikini before heading out to the pool. I join Niall, Louis, Ava, and Riley in the pool while Sage and Zayn lounge around on the chairs.

“So how are y’all feeling about this retreat so far?” I ask them and most of them respond with shrugs. 

“Upset that I took time off work to do this but it’s whatever nothing I can do now.” Ava says and Riley agrees with her. 

“Who knew that getting chicks would bite me in the ass.” Niall comments and we all laugh.

“God I can’t believe we're getting cockblocked by a fucking cone.” Louis also comments making us laugh even harder. Once everyone settles we begin to talk about our home lives among other things and I begin to observe everyone's behaviors. Niall and Riley seem to be getting close as well as Ava and Louis but I can’t tell what everyone’s motives are towards each other. Eventually, the topic gears back to the retreat when Riley asks a question.

“How much do you guys think the fines are going to be?”

“I think like a peck is going to be $100 and then like a make out would be like $300.” Ava is the first to speak up and I agree with her but Niall shakes his head.

“Knowing that this is supposed to be “rehab” it’s probably worth a good chunk of money. Like a kiss is probably $1000 or something ridiculous.” I shrug my shoulders also agreeing.

“Yeah but let’s hope it’s the first one so we can break the rules more often.” I say and everyone laughs. We stay in the pool for a little more until switching spots with Sage and Zayn. As we relax and dry off in the sun we make small talk about everyone else.

“So if you guys had a free pass to kiss anyone here who would it be? Personally I’d kiss Louis.” Ava asks everyone. Louis says Ava, Riley says Niall, and Niall says Riley to no one’s shock until it’s left to me to answer.

“Uh, probably Harry.” I answer and Ava squeals.

“Oh spill.” She instigates and I roll my eyes flipping onto my stomach.

“I mean we’ve basically been attached at the hip since the moment he arrived and he was pissed yesterday when Zayn kissed me. And he’s fucking fine. Like if this was the actual show I signed up for I’d be fucking him as much as possible.” I explain and Ava and Riley are engrossed while Louis and Niall are having a conversation of their own.

“I get it girl, I’d be jumping Niall if it was under normal circumstances.” Riley supports me while Ava nods.

“Alright I’m going to head out guys I’ll see y’all later.” I tell them waving goodbye to the boys as well as Sage and Zayn. I walk around before finding an empty area with day beds away from everyone. I close my eyes letting myself cool down in the shade until a throat clears. I peek one eye open seeing Harry standing in front of me.

“Is there room for one more?” He asks and I nod moving over so he can fit in. He gets comfortable laying on his back before turning his head to look at me.

“I haven’t seen you since this morning what have you been doing?” He asks me and I shrug.

“I was at the pool with Niall, Louis, Riley, and Ava.” I answer him and he nods.

“How was that?”

“It was good. We just hung out and talked.” I smile as he rolls onto his side to face me his eyes tracing my body up and down. His hand comes to rest on my stomach and I take in a deep breath. He removes his hand from my stomach places it on my hip and rolls me onto my side so we face each other. Our foreheads touch and if I lean any closer we would kiss.

“Careful. We don’t want to break any rules.” I tease him and he smirks letting out a small chuckle.

“You’re right.” He leans back slightly, his hand rubbing up and down my side.

“Lana never said anything about teasing.” Harry says and I shake my head.

“Don’t you even think about it.” I chastise him, bringing my hand up and pausing his movements. A smirk lines his lips as he pulls me into his chest. I sigh as my head rests on his chest hearing his heartbeat. 

His hand rubs up and down my back playing with my hair every couple of passes and I feel peaceful. I eventually move my head up to look at Harry and I see he’s already looking at me. The tension between us is thick. He dips his head down as I crane mine up and we are about to kiss but he pulls away.

“Don’t want to break the rules now do we?” He teases me and I let out a breath shaking my head as he smiles. He gets up from the day bed holding out his hand and I gladly accept it letting him pull me up. We head inside to the bedroom and see Zayn, Liam, Sage, and Kate all sitting on the bed playing with condoms. I stop in my tracks as I stare confused.

“Where the fuck did you guys get condoms?” I ask and they turn toward me before laughing.

“They were in the cabinets!” Sage laughs while Kate starts blowing one up. I make my way towards them grabbing one to open. I blow it up and tie it off before tucking it under my arm.

“Guys meet Dickie.” I announce holding him up and everyone laughs. I put him on the bed Harry and I share as Harry shakes his head at me.

“Am I getting kicked out of bed for a condom balloon?” He asks and I shrug.

“Be good and we’ll see.” I tease him. He rolls his eyes at me as I sit down on the bed letting myself decompress. A while passes when someone new enters the room and I notice it’s Niall.

“Hey, guys Lana wants us to meet in the cabana.” He tells us and we all nod making our way outside. I sit next to Sage as Harry sits next to me resting his hand on my thigh. We all talk as everyone makes their way to the cabana and once everyone is there Lana dings.

“I have news for everyone.” She begins and people start murmuring about what it could possibly be.

“There has been a breach of the rules.” Everyone’s jaws drop and Harry turns his head to look at me. I widen my eyes not knowing what to do and he squeezes my thigh to reassure me.

“Alright fess up who did it?” Kate asks looking around and I shrug my shoulders staying quiet. No one speaks and people start getting upset. I look back at Harry and he sighs.

“Y/N and I kissed last night.” He announces and I drop my head as everyone shoots theirs to look at us.

“Bloody hell.” Liam groans and Sage lightly slaps my shoulder.

“Your rule break has cost the group $3,000. The prize fund now stands at $97,000.” Lana breaks the tension in the room causing everyone’s jaws to drop. I hold my head in my hands as Harry wraps an arm around my shoulder. I feel a head drop onto my shoulder and soon a voice whispers into my ear,

“Was it at least worth it?” Sage asks and I nod my head and I soon feel her pat my back. I get up from the couch muttering a sorry to everyone before heading inside. Why do I feel so guilty? I’m broken out of my thoughts by Harry calling after me making me stop in my tracks. He catches up to me putting his hands on my face tilting my head up.

“Are you okay?” He asks and I shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t know. I feel bad.” I tell him and he slightly pouts his lips.

“Do you regret it?” He finally asks the looming question and I sigh.

“I know I should but I don’t.” I tell him and he stays silent.

“Do you?” I question back and he immediately shakes his head.

“After even knowing everything that happens I would do it all over again.” He tells me and I let out a slight chuckle dropping my head.

“Keep saying things like that and we’re going to lose another 3k.” I mumble and I hear him chuckle.

“Don’t tempt me.” He whispers kissing my forehead. As the night continues Zayn and Sage get sent on a date by Lana and we all watched from the cabana. It seems like it went well considering when they got back to the bedroom they climbed into bed together.

Harry and I make small talk when the lights go off considering neither of us are tired. His hand runs up and down my side under the covers. As we talk every once and a while his fingers will stop to toy with the band of my underwear. 

When my eyes start to droop he turns me over pulling my back to his chest letting his right arm act as a pillow for my head as his left trails down my stomach his fingertips just barely going past the band of my underwear. I take in a slight breath at the action and he lightly sushes me. His fingertips go past the band but that’s as far as he goes, his hand stays there his thumb moving back and forth along the top.

“I’m pretty sure this is against the rules.” I tilt my head as close as I can to his ear and he lets out a light chuckle. He dips his head down so his lips graze my ear making sure the camera can’t see the movement of his lips.

“No one will know as long as you don’t make a fuss.” He whispers back placing a kiss to my ear before returning his head to its original position. His hand then slides down a little more so his fingertips rest just above my clit. It takes everything in me to keep my breathing steady and not buck my hips against his hand. His lips graze my ear again as he leans in closer.

“Now be a good girl and turn your head into the pillow and pretend like you’re falling asleep.” His voice is raspy, the lust too much for him to handle. I nod my head making it look like I’m snuggling my head into the pillow and I feel his chest vibrate as he hums in approval. 

He adjusts his body slightly so he can move my leg so he has more access to me, his head nuzzles against my neck, and I assume he does it to hide any reactions or movements that can be picked up by the camera. His fingers tease me moving up and down but never touching my clit. After a while when it can be presumed, we're both asleep his fingers finally move down connecting with my clit. My breath nearly catches but I keep my breathing steady to not arouse suspicion.

He rubs lightly at first moving his fingers in a figure 8 but soon he applies more pressure and I feel my stomach start to burn. It’s taking every fiber of my being to stay calm and collected. His fingers eventually dip down playing with the wetness leaking out of my entrance and I feel his chest vibrate against me. His fingers lightly move up and down my slit before one is placed at my entrance. 

My core flutters against the tip of his finger and he takes a second before slowly pushing his finger into me. I subtly bite the pillow to keep any noises from coming out of my mouth as his finger fills me. He slowly moves his finger in and out, caressing my g-spot with every movement. I feel the tingle in my stomach and my hand under the covers grasps his wrist lightly and he stops his movements.

“Do you want me to stop baby?” He asks, voice muffled by the pillow. My voice is low and muffled as I respond. 

“I need more.” His hand moves so two fingers are now positioned at my entrance. As he pushes both in, a slight moan escapes me making him stop his movements.

“Shh baby.” He whispers, and he begins his movements again going slower. His fingers fill me perfectly. Thick and long hitting all the right spots. His fingers thrust in and out of me and I bite my lip muffling any sounds.

“Such a good girl for me.” His thrusts remain consistent until he curls his finger hitting my g-spot. I nearly scream as he continues hitting the sensitive spot, my thighs trying to close around his hand but failing because of the way he’s positioned me. My breathing begins to pick up and I can feel my body overheat. The coil in my abdomen tightens, my core tightening around Harry’s fingers.

“I’m gonna cum.” I whisper into the pillow and Harry’s movements pick up slightly. I push my head down into the pillow in an effort to muffle the noises that slip out of my throat. The coil breaks and my breath catches as the pleasure rushes through my body. His fingers work me through the high and I feel his lips pucker against my neck. 

When I come down I pull on his wrist and he stops his movements cupping my heat. He pulls his hand away slipping his fingers through the wetness now covering my panties as his hand comes to rest on my mound. I regain control of my breathing as he rubs his thumb along my stomach. He lets out a long breath pulling me closer to him and I can feel how hard he is against me. I bring my hand back palming him but he pulls it away.

“I’m fine, now go to sleep.” He whispers. I relax against his hold and let the rise and fall of his chest and the beat of his heart lull me to sleep. 

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taglist: @golden-hoax

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles and y/n #harry styles au #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut

[faithintheunknownsblog]

LULU FATHER OF PLANTS AND FOUR CHILDREN???? im SENSIBLE!!! aand i dont want to force it, but could do it the other way around? would be alucard/vlad human and your s/o is botanist?? and theres a little cottage style house in a field with flowers… that would be lovely (and the four kids playing too) i really love your writing!!

A/N: AHHHHH FINALLY DONE!!!

So for the sake of the story I will say this is more modern day since I still have no idea what to write for a botanist (and I’m sorry that there is not much for the botanists part of the story)

Weeds and Wildflowers

You wake up to an empty bed and the smell of your favorite breakfast food, making you smile. It was a Saturday which means family day, which is what gets you through every draining work week. You throw on your pjs and head straight to the kitchen, the first thing you do is greet your beloved husband with a kiss.

To think such a mean looking man would be one of the most loving and caring people on earth. Alucard is a family man because he didn’t have one of his own growing up and being with you, and having children, is more than he could have ever dreamed of.

Alucard kisses you back and once you two break apart he says, “good morning, love. How did you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” you yawn. During the week you’re the one who has to take care of the kids most of the time because Alucard gets stuck at work.

You two have four beautiful children; your oldest daughter Emma who is seven, then Joseph who is five, Charles who is two, and your newborn Ava who is only four months old.

Then there is your fur baby, Baskerville, though he isn’t a baby. He is a fully grown wolf that Alucard decided to help when he found this wild wolf limping in the field a few years ago. Then Baskerville decided to follow Alucard home and he’s been a pet ever since. Baskerville is gentle and extremely protective with the kids, even when the kids are rough with him.

“Mmm, I don’t doubt it,” Alucard says and flips a pancake. He may not be home much. But always tries his best to get home before dinner so he can help put the kids to bed, though that doesn’t happen too often. But he ALWAYS makes sure to take the load off your shoulders whenever he gets the chance. Like if he does get home for dinner he will make sure to clean the dishes, and spend time with the kids before putting them to bed. Alucard takes on the responsibility of tending to Ava at night even though he gets home late and wakes up early. He will go to Ava whenever she cries before you even get a chance to realize. That’s why you keep bottles of breast milk and/or formula in the fridge, so he can just grab one and feed Ava to get her back to sleep.

“So what should we do today?” You ask Alucard as you sway while hugging him from behind. But before he can answer you both hear three sets of feet- along with four paws- puttering their way towards the kitchen.

The steps are accompanied by laughter and Alucard quickly moves away from the stove before the kids could make their way into the kitchen. Because once the kids do make it to the kitchen they run to their father to embrace him in a hug.

Alucard is able to pick them all up at once and spins around, all laughing but you have to quiet them down, “shhh! You’re gonna wake Ava up!”

“Alright, alright,” Alucard sets the kids down and goes back to the stove. The kids all sit down at the table and patiently wait for breakfast to be served. Which wasn’t too long because Alucard has already been cooking for a little while now, just so he could have breakfast ready for them.

You decide that it is time to get Ava up anyway, so you go to the nursery to get her. When you pick her up she’s a bit fussy at first but that’s normal for any child, so you sit in the rocking chair and breastfeed your daughter.

Once you’re finished with that you get yourself all situated then leave the nursery carrying Ava out with you. But before you can even make it through the kitchen entrance, Alucard is taking Ava from you and holding her close.

Alucard tickles Ava and she lets out little laughs. Alucard lets out a soft chuckle, his ocean blue eyes full of fatherly love as he watches his daughter smile.

Ava is the only one with those beautiful blue eyes, but other than that you think she’s going to look more like you than him. She has your nose and smile. Emma looks like both of you but she has her father’s laugh, Joseph looks more like Alucard but has your hair, and Charles looks like you but has Alucard’s smile. Not that any of it matters because your children are all beautiful nonetheless.

After all of you are finished with breakfast it’s time to get everyone ready for outside. Whenever the weather allows it, everyone is exploring the backyard and letting imagination create new adventures. Though you have to sit back with Ava but it doesn’t bother you much since you want to let the kids play with their father. Besides, watching Alucard with the kids is so heartwarming because he has just as much energy as them.

Even if you don’t keep up with them you still do walk around the yard with Ava, Baskerville is right by your side as you two walk. He walks between you and the field, just in case he needs to protect you and Ava from something that could come out of the field. Though he still listens for the kids as well, he knows they’re safe with Alucard as they run around the yard and climb on the huge swing set that Alucard paid to have hand built for them as soon as he found out you were pregnant with Emma. And it was all worth it with how the kids never want to get off of it.

Currently Alucard and the kids are playing pirates, which includes sword fighting with sticks. You know Alucard has control of the situation but your motherly instinct still makes you tell them, “be careful! You’re going to poke your eye out!”

They don’t listen to you and continue playing, having the time of their lives. You just shake your head and watch them play to their heart's content. They’re climbing on the swingset and terrifying you as they jump off it and into Alucard’s arms. They’re ‘walking the plank’ and Alucard is the shark that eats them. You trust Alucard but dammit your children are daring and it scares the daylights out of you. They get their fearlessness from their father without a doubt.

Like how they will run into the half an acre of nothing but weeds and wildflowers that you inherited after your father passed away. The field and cottage have been passed down for generations, and the field was well taken care of for the longest time. But your father couldn’t keep up with it, so it got out of control.

Truthfully you don’t mind it though because there is so much more to explore and study now that the plants are all wild and free. It also gave you the perfect environment to study when looking at plant hybrids caused in the wild.

You continue to walk the edge of the field and look across it to see if there are any new plants to take note of. You notice some weeds around a group of flowers and decide to pull it. You know there isn’t really a reason to because the field was filled with weeds already and the flowers were still thriving. But it was a weed you haven’t seen before so you’ll take note of it once back in the cottage.

Alucard and the kids notice you and Baskerville walking along the field then run up to you because they decided to walk with you. The kids ask questions about everything you stop to look at but it doesn’t take long for them to start playing again, which you don’t mind as long as they don’t hurt themselves or each other.

Eventually the kids run into the field and Baskerville protectively follows. You and Alucard watch from the outside because he needed a quick break. He might have a lot of energy but keeping up with three kids that treat him like a jungle gym takes its toll.

You watch them run in the field, everything seems okay at first but the closer you look the sooner you realize what’s wrong and your eyes go wide. They’re running towards a patch of poison oak and as soon as you notice you yell, “get out of there!”

Alucard instantly goes on high alert noticing how you’ve become distraught and without question he immediately runs towards the kids. He doesn’t need an explanation, just knowing that something is wrong is enough to make him act without a second thought.

But even with how fast he runs he’s just a few moments too late as the kids run straight into the poison oak. And of course when they see their father heading towards them they stop, causing them to stand still in the patch of weeds you desperately didn’t want them in to begin with.

“Careful! It’s poison oak!” You shout to Alucard but you know he doesn’t care, he still runs into the patch of poison oak and grabs up the kids as if he’s trying to save them from a train. Baskerville runs behind them, he luckily didn’t run into the poison oak either.

Times like this you’re glad Alucard never wears shorts. It could be a 100°F (38°C) outside and he will still be in a pair of pants. The worst he’s going to get is a bit of a rash on his arms, whereas the kids are going to be covered in it since they’re wearing shorts and tank tops.

Once they are out of the field Alucard sets the kids down and they’re already scratching at their skin. You know that they’re itchy but you don’t want them digging into their skin, “no, no, don’t do that, it’ll make it worse. Let’s go back to the cottage and get you all clean.”

They nod and all of you walk back to the cottage, Baskerville walking closely behind.

Alucard looks over at you, “I’ll make sure to take care of that and anything else. You’ll just have to point out what needs to be gone.”

“I will but we have to get the kids treated first,” you say and continue walking to the cottage, opening the back door once you’re there. You let the kids in first and tell them what they need to do.

“Emma you go get a shower in my bathroom-” you turn to Alucard, “can you give the boys a bath while I put Ava down for her nap?”

“Of course,” Alucard says and takes the boys to the other bathroom.

You go to the nursery and get Ava all settled then make lunch for the rest of the kids as you wait for everyone to get done. Part of you can’t believe it’s already noon, time does fly.

Once the kids are out of the showers and at the table you grab the calamine lotion, gauze wrap, and gloves so you can treat the kids before the itching gets any worse. Alucard also grabs a pair of gloves to help as well, both of you putting lotion on the kids arms and legs then wrapping the gauze around them so they won’t scratch.

Once done with that you give the kids and Alucard lunch then grab your book full of notes on what’s in the field of wildflowers. You aren’t surprised by the wild oak popping up- it was really only a matter of time- but you wonder why it took so long for it to emerge. Or maybe it’s always been there and you just didn’t notice, you’ll have to check it to find out.

Alucard looks over your shoulder seeing how you’re writing questions for yourself to answer later. He doesn’t like the poison oak being where the kids could potentially get into it. But he also doesn’t want to keep you from doing your studies, so he thinks of a compromise, “should I just temporarily fence the patches off so you can look at them first?”

“Would you?” You ask with a sheepish smile, you know you don’t have to ask because he wouldn’t offer unless he would.

Alucard kisses your forehead, “of course honey. I’ll get to it now and you take care of the kids, okay?”

“You remember what it looks like, right?” You don’t give him a chance to answer, you dog ear the page and just hand him your book, “here, just in case.”

“Are you sure honey?” Alucard knows how protective you are when it comes to your book, even though you have let him use it a few times before with instances like this. Like when there were berries that were unsafe to eat growing at the edge of the field and you were worried that the kids might try to pick them. So you had those uprooted and taken care of so they won’t keep growing with the treatment you use each year.

“Mhm, just to make sure that you don’t run into anything else-” you nod to Baskerville, “-take Basky with you as well, just in case.”

Baskerville is protective of the kids but you want him to be with Alucard in case something goes wrong. Besides there isn’t much to do now that the kids are covered in poison oak. Usually you limit TV time but you decide to let them pick a few movies to watch until dinner.

Alucard is unable to fence off all of the patches while he’s out there but he gets the ones that are the easiest for the kids to get to. He also picks a bunch of berries that he saw you write down as okay to eat in your book. Which makes for a good side to go with dinner.

The next day you spend outside with Baskerville, studying the poison oak and fencing the rest of it off while Alucard stays inside with the kids. Once you’re done studying you go back to the cottage to do even more research, though you are positive you already know how to get rid of it without herbicides. But you always double check because you can’t remember everything.

Your research doesn’t prove you right but it doesn’t prove you wrong either. As there are many methods that are along the same lines but there are some slight differences between each of the remedies that claim to be the best.

Some say to completely remove the root and some say to just cut the plant down to the stem. Some say to wrap the plant in plastic and some don’t mention anything like that. Some say use vinegar and some say a mixture of vinegar, soap and salt. There are so many things and it’s a mess.

BUT this does give you the chance to do what you do best, testing and figure out which one is truly the best through trial and error. So you do different methods on different patches. If you didn’t have an interest in plants and worked with them for a living you’d definitely find all these steps you have to go through for the different methods annoying. But you love it.

You take notes of how the plants change and what works best. You even made up your own method along with combining parts of other methods together. You take notes of your controlled variable, independent variable, dependent variable, and constants.

And as time passes you take notes of your data daily and eventually find out which method is the best. Now being able to create a safe environment for your kids where they can run and play to their heart's content. Alucard makes sure to remember what was the solution you used and knows what to look for in order to check if there is any regrowth of the poison oak. Working with plants comes in handy when trying to keep your kids safe as they frolic in open fields of weeds and wildflowers

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing fandom #alucard hellsing #alucard #hellsing alucard #hellsing fanfiction #hellsing ova #hellsing organization #hellsing x reader #alucard x reader #alucard fanfiction #alucard x you #alucard x y/n

[quietblueriver]

Right on Time (Ch. 1)

When Ava makes the jump, she’s assuming that she’ll emerge in one of Jillian’s 1,000 rooms, or maybe in Cat’s Cradle, if she’s lucky.  Instead, when she bursts through the Arc, she’s back in Adriel’s stupid fucking upside-down cake of a church, about 20 feet from where she took a lethal hit of Divinium shrapnel (totally unnecessarily, as it turns out) and almost died.  There are at least two dozen people she doesn’t recognize gaping at her. It’s not what she’d hoped, to say the fucking least.  

When her ears stop ringing, she hears feet pounding on cement and a broken, “Ava!” And suddenly, she’s good.  Because the body hurtling toward her?  That’s exactly who she’d been hoping for. 

“Beatrice.”

And of course it’s Beatrice, still somehow graceful as she stops from a dead sprint in front of Ava.  Beatrice, who is the least composed that Ava has ever seen her, including that one time she came home early from the bar and accidentally walked in on Ava naked-lounging on their bed after a shower.  She can see Bea’s frantic eyes trying to analyze every part of her body for injury, her hands hovering as close as they possibly can to Ava’s body without actually touching her. She doesn’t let herself touch Ava, because, and Ava knows this, because she knows Beatrice, she’s worried that she’ll hurt her.  It’s very sweet and absolutely not going to work. 

Ava throws her arms around Bea, pulling her close and whispering into her neck, “It’s okay, I’m okay, I promise.” 

Ava’s senses are still acclimating to this world, so she’s hyperaware of every part of Bea. She lets herself drop into the sensations, lets everything else fall away. Bea smells different, the normal hint of cloves replaced with something much more clinical and antiseptic. There’s the familiar press of knives against her sternum and stomach, moving with every hard breath. Across Bea’s back below the straps of her knives, Ava feels cotton, smooth against the pads of her fingers and much softer than the fabric of her typical tunic, below that, the tense muscles of Bea’s shoulders and back. Ava presses in gently, curling her fingers into muscle in the way she used to when Bea was tensed up over the books in the bar, or hunched over the cutting board clearly taking out stress over Adriel on the veggie of the day. It seems to work—she lets out a breath and leans her body into Ava. 

After a moment, Bea’s arms circle her waist, holding her tightly, and she murmurs, lowly, “Ava.”  And Ava lets out a small sob of relief because Bea’s voice around Ava’s name is exactly the same as Ava remembers, the low pitch taking Ava back to nights in Switzerland, when Bea would half-wake at Ava’s return from a late shift, throw an arm around her on reflex and whisper her name into the dark of their bedroom. It was Bea at her least guarded and Ava knew it was a gift to see her that way, relived those moments as often as she could when she was stuck in the hellhole that is Reya’s realm. Bea tightens her grip, and Ava can’t believe she gets to have this again.

She lights up, literally, as she does these days, the halo sheltering Bea in its glow.

**********************

While she’d have preferred to stay wrapped up in Bea for at least a few hours before having to acknowledge anyone else’s existence, they get about a minute before other members of the OCS converge on her.  

Or, they attempt to converge on her. The second Beatrice hears movement toward them, she turns around and they almost simultaneously take a step back, all except Camila, who flings herself at Ava and then pulls Bea into a hug with them both. 

As they pull apart, Ava smiles at Cam and takes Bea’s hand, keeping her close.  She can’t help but notice the looks Bea is getting from the other sisters and randoms (former followers of Adriel? The Church? Some other badly-dressed cult?) taking up space in the basement. Bea must notice but doesn’t appear to give a shit. She keeps hold of Ava’s hand and steps forward just slightly so she stands between Ava and the strangers. Ava, having just spent who fucking knows how long getting the magic metal in her back supercharged by a god, could flatten everyone in the room without breaking a sweat, would do it without hesitation if any of them made a move toward Bea. But she doesn’t pull Bea back, just squeezes her hand and admires the set of her shoulders—protective Bea is just as hot as she remembers. 

Hotter, even, as she stands there in what must be clothes loaned from Arq-Tech security, tapered black pants tucked into familiar boots and a long-sleeved black shirt with the Arq-Tech logo on the sleeve. Ava never really thought the paramilitary vibe would do it for her but she also never thought a fucking nun’s habit would be top five on her list of turn-ons either so she’s down to roll with basically whatever at this point. She has a sudden vision of Bea as a mime. She could learn to love stripes. Ava lets herself stare for a second longer before turning back to Cam. 

Camila is smiling her biggest smile, tears in her eyes, and she reaches out to squeeze Ava’s forearm. 

“Welcome home. We missed you.” 

Ava isn’t willing to let Bea go right now, but she turns her hand somewhat awkwardly to grip Cam’s forearm back, letting her smile grow as wide as it can. She feels tears start to prick at her own eyes. 

“I missed you, too,” she wipes at her suddenly wet face, “so much.” 

Camila steps into a half-hug, wrapping her arm around Ava’s waist and leaning into her side. Unlike Bea, she’s back in her habit, the semi-tactical version, and suddenly Ava, wrapped up in two of her very favorite people, is crying harder, the weird, happy tears of disbelief she hasn’t cried since the early halo days, years ago (years ago) now. Bea presses close in concern, body still between Ava and whoever is out there, the hand not in Ava’s coming up to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. Ava presses up to kiss her forehead, smiling and laughing as she comes back down. 

“I’m counting this as the next, Bea. You ready?” 

Bea’s eyes are still clouded with concern but her smile grows as big as Ava has ever seen it. She’s beautiful. 

Bea blushes. 

“Said that out loud, huh?” Ava shrugs, keeps grinning. “You should probably get used to it.” 

Camila gently jostles Ava. 

“You’re very cute, the two of you. You’ve also got an audience. Are you feeling well enough to travel? Just back to Jillian’s.” 

Ava moves forward, pulling Bea to her side, so she can see the rest of the room. Camila’s right. If anything, there are more people in the room now, most with more recognizable Arq-Tech or OCS affiliation. They’re staring at her, not even pretending to be doing anything else. But Ava sees all of their eyes keep flickering back to Bea, like they’re keeping track of exactly where she is and what she’s doing. Ava doesn’t like it, purposefully angles her body so that the halo is visible to them, lets it flash to life and hum lowly. There’s a murmur. Good. 

“Cam, who the fuck are all these people?” 

Camila ducks her head around to look at Ava’s back, comes back with a raised eyebrow.

“Thought I’d give them something to look at, at least. In fact...”

Ava smiles, decides to show off a little as she lets the halo create a dome of light and warmth around the three of them, now able to keep Cam and Bea protected with hardly a thought. It’s worth it for the looks she gets from them, delight and awe from Camila, something like relief and affection from Bea. The murmur grows louder. Ava can feel their eyes. 

“To answer your question, Cam, I feel fucking fantastic. Please get me out of this room.” 

Camila nods and starts walking toward the elevator. 

“Of course. Let’s go.” 

Ava falls in behind her, Bea at her side. 

*********************

Ava takes the ride as a chance to be as close to Bea as possible. Camila basically shoves the both of them at the back door before hopping into the driver’s seat. Ava climbs in first, tugging Bea in after her and throwing her legs over Bea’s lap, tucking herself into Bea’s body. Bea cradles her close. Ava’s not actually in her lap, but this is the closest comfortable option for a car ride. It’s not the safest position, but she could literally wrap the van in a bubble if she needed to (Reya fucking sucks but she did teach Ava some cool new tricks) so she’s not worried about it. 

As they pull into the road, Camila calls Superion, puts the phone on speaker. 

“Camila. Is it true?”

“Yes. She’s back.”

The tentative and hopeful “Ava?” that comes through is almost enough to make Ava cry again. 

“It’s me.” 

There’s a sob on the other end of the line. Bea’s arms tighten around her. 

“Welcome home.” 

And then Ava’s crying again, pressing her face into Bea’s neck while Bea runs her fingers through her hair. 

“We’re on our way, Mother. Half an hour so.”

“Good, good. We’ll see you soon.” 

Camila looks in the rearview, actually winks at Ava when she catches her eye. 

“Actually, could I speak to Dora? I was hoping to discuss the logistics of the Arc and revising temple clean-up timelines.”

Superion answers after a moment, confusion evident. 

“I’m sure she’s here somewhere but can it not wait?” 

“I just wanted to get a head start because of...the weather. Beatrice can keep Ava company while we discuss the details.” 

“Ah.” Superion says, obviously amused. “Yes, of course. Let me go find Sister Dora for you so that you two might discuss...the potential for rain. Hello, Beatrice.”

Ava stares out the window at the clear blue sky, wonders how it is that being very badly wing-womaned by two nuns invested in her queer lady romance isn’t even close to being the weirdest shit that’s happened to her in the last day alone. 

“Hello, Mother Superion.” 

Bea’s voice is even, because of course it is, but Ava sees the pink in her cheeks, runs her thumb along the color, watches it become more pronounced. 

“It will be nice to have you back at the house.”

“Thank you. It will be good to be back.”

Back? Has Bea been gone? She raises an eyebrow at her. Bea traces it with her thumb, murmurs, “tell you later” into Ava’s ear. She shivers and makes a kind of embarrassing, and definitely loud enough to be heard in the front seat, noise. Camila clears her throat.

“Right. Any word on Dora?”

She takes the phone off of speaker and busies herself working through what, Ava puts together from key words, is total bullshit mixed with some small talk. 

Ava takes full advantage of a moment alone-ish, letting her hands wander, tracing patterns across Bea’s sternum and over her bicep, down her arm, along her jawline and the shell of her ear, taking note of the things that make Bea’s breath hitch and filing them away for later. And, like, they’re not fucking in the back seat—everybody’s clothes are on and she’s keeping it PG—but it’s gotta be just as bad, maybe worse, in terms of shit other people don’t want to see. Because Ava’s just like, adoring Bea, or whatever, with Camila right there in the front, and she knows it’s fucking gross, way too intimate for anyone but the two of them. Ava’s pretty much beyond shame at the moment, what little she had abandoned in Reya’s realm, but she feels a little bad for subjecting Cam to their...whatever it is. Not too bad, though, because she basically gave Ava a thumbs up (a wink, actually) to all but jump Bea and Cam will 100% be giving her shit for this later, anyway. Now, though, Cam appears to be totally ignoring the rearview (really throwing traffic safety to the wind here), her voice much louder than necessary as she speaks to Dora. 

Bea lets Ava’s hands wander and keeps hers mostly still around Ava’s body, steady and sure, eyes always waiting for Ava’s when she looks for them. Ava knows that she and Bea have to talk. Of course they do. But she’s just spent a few years hanging around gods and demi-gods and angel-demons whose only understanding of physical contact is violence, not that Ava would’ve been looking to cuddle one of those total fucking egomaniacs anyway. It’s just, after the halo, she had gotten used to being tactile with the people in her life, to showing affection and care with her hands. She had taken full advantage of her ability to touch, and to let herself be touched (or to decline to be touched). And then she was alone again, able to touch but almost always through violence, able to feel but offered little more than pain. Reya touched her to mess with the halo, occasionally, and while Reya wasn’t Sister Frances, Ava always felt the echo of her, of that kind of violation, a perfunctory interest in Ava as the inhabitant of a body she was obligated to care about. 

So Ava kept the phantoms of Bea’s hand on her face, Bea’s arms around her, for as long as she could, thought over and over of the casual brushes of her hands on Bea’s back and shoulders in the bar and in their flat, of the press of her body in sleep, of the sensation of Bea’s hair, damp from the shower, when she’d cave to Ava’s begging and let her play with it, sometimes keeping in the braid Ava loved weaving over and over. 

(Bea taught Ava to braid a week into their time in the flat, after she caught Ava watching her put her own braid together before training. She brought home some colorful thread, taping it to the table in front of both of their chairs in sets of three. 

“Bea.” 

She had kissed her cheek for the first time, then, a little overwhelmed with the simple kindness of Beatrice. Bea had looked something like bashful, lifting her shoulders lightly as she sat, “It’s great for dexterity.” After a moment, quieter, “And I thought maybe you would like to learn.” 

After a night of sitting and practicing with her like she hadn’t been doing it her whole life, like there was nothing more interesting than watching Ava learn to fold the string into a pattern, Beatrice had smiled at her and said, uncharacteristically shy, “Maybe tomorrow you could try with my hair. If you’d like.” Ava had to stop herself from kissing her.)

She’d tried so hard to live on memories of touch, and it had kept her going. Now that she’s back? She’s not going to deny herself the comfort of touching Bea, of feeling Bea’s touch. They’re making up for a lot of lost time. 

“I like your new look,” Ava says as she pulls at the fabric of Bea’s sleeve. “Mercenary chic. You’re,” she makes eye contact with Bea, “killing it.”

Beatrice laughs. Ava wants to make her laugh forever. Ava is in love. 

“Dr. Salvius sent some clothes.” Bea had been gone, then. Ava bookmarked that for later. “I couldn’t wear the habit anymore. I won’t be putting it on again.” 

Ava stills her hand on Bea’s elbow, presses gently.  

“Bea.” 

She smiles at Ava. Jesus, Ava is fucked for her. Absolutely gone. It’s the best feeling in the world. 

“I knew before we went to the temple, Ava. It was always going to be my last mission for the Church. As a sister, anyway.” She eyes Camila in the front seat. “I want to talk to you about it. But later?”

“Of course,” Ava resumes the pattern she had been tracing on Bea’s forearm. 

After a moment, Bea moves her hand from Ava’s legs to touch the material of Ava’s tunic, runs her fingers along the patterns pressed into the dark leather.  She doesn’t ask, but Ava answers.

“It’s stronger there. There’s a kind of…energy that Reya wraps around it, but it doesn’t work here. She did teach me to do something like it with the halo, though—it’s pretty fucking cool. I’ll show you later.”

Ava covers Bea’s hand with her own and taps their twined fingers gently on the leather. 

“And anyway this was really only for training, for everyday stuff. There’s a whole fuckton of other armor she has for the real fights. Honestly, Bea, it’s unbelievable.”

Bea’s body stiffens for a moment before she forces herself to relax.  Ava feels the familiar pattern of intentional breathing against her body. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Bea puts a finger under her chin and holds her steady, eyes serious. 

“Ava. You said earlier that you were okay.”

Ava grins at her, “Fucking fantastic, I think I said. And I am.”

Bea rolls her eyes lightly. 

“Right, yes. Fucking fantastic.” 

Ava gasps, puts her hands over her heart. 

“Language, Sister Beatrice.” 

Beatrice leans closer, taking Ava by surprise. 

“Not a sister anymore.” 

Her voice is low, breath hot on the skin of Ava’s neck. Ava swallows. 

“Well, fuck.”

“Language, Ava,” and Ava can hear the smugness in her tone, is so happy that Bea is teasing her that she could fucking cry. Ava immediately flips her off, and Bea grabs her finger, curls it gently back in to make a fist, which she pulls close to her chest. 

“I know you said you’re okay, but Ava,” she squeezes around Ava’s wrist, serious again, “you don’t have to be. I know you want to take care of yourself and that you hate feeling like a burden. I understand why. I respect how independent you are,” a wry grin, “even when it makes my life harder.”

Ava flattens her hand and puts her palm against Bea’s sternum, feels the press of leather where the strap of her knives sits. She stays quiet as Bea breathes in.

“But Ava, you are part of a family now. You are loved, and the people who love you want to know the truth, when they ask how you are doing. They want to listen and to be happy or sad with you, or to help you, if they can. It is not weak to let yourself be loved that way. I know this must feel a bit like the pot calling the kettle black. I promise I am working on letting myself be loved, too.” Bea smiles softly at her, her eyes growing wet, and Ava traces her hand up her neck, to her cheek. “You helped me understand that I might be worth loving, Ava, for myself.” 

“Beatrice.”

Bea turns her face into Ava’s palm and presses her lips to the skin she finds. Ava’s body lights up. 

“The point being, we all want you to actually feel fucking fantastic, and we don’t need you to pretend when you aren’t.”

Ava notices suddenly that the van is actually silent. Camila is no longer half-yelling at a sister in alternating languages. She is instead quietly driving, hands at ten and two, knuckles white on the wheel. Bea has noticed, too, is watching Camila quietly. Cam is the one who speaks next. 

“I haven’t been listening. I swear. But Dora had to go and I’m waiting on someone to call back to confirm a transport plan for the Arc so I just happened to hear...”

“It’s okay, Camila.” Two voices at once. Cam makes eye contact in the rearview.

“She’s right, Ava. You’re our family. We love you. You don’t have to be okay for us to love you. We want to listen. We want to help.” 

Ava sighs, leans up to grab Cam’s shoulder and squeeze before settling back into Bea, pressing a light kiss to her cheek. 

“I...am going to need some help. I know that. But also I’m okay. It’s complicated.” 

“It’s allowed to be complicated,” Bea says, intentionally loud enough for Camila now. Camila nods. 

“I do want to talk about it. I really do. But first I want to eat like so much food. Can we please get ice cream? I really want ice cream. Also, weirdly, eggs. And a shower.” She groans in pleasure at the thought. “And, like, god, Bea, can we stay in bed for at least 4 days?”

She says it without thinking because she and Bea had been sharing a bed (in a friend way, because that’s a thing) for weeks before she left and bed had become theirs not hers, something she had held onto tightly when she was gone. She’s honest to god not even talking about sex (not that she wouldn’t ask Bea to stay in bed with her in a sex way, obviously, she just wasn’t right then because Ava would like to have an actual conversation about what’s happening between them that doesn’t involve the time pressure of a violent death or poor fucking Sister Yasmine lurking in the background). But she hears it the moment she says it and, welp, it’s out there now. Moment of loving friendship broken by Ava’s loud fucking mouth. 

Beatrice chokes on air. Camila quickly reaches up to physically turn the rearview so that she can’t see the backseat. Which, like, aggressive. Ava didn’t ask Bea to fuck right here, right now.  She didn’t ask her to fuck her at all! She pushes away the yet her brain throws at her. Not the time.

The phone rings again. Ava swears she hears a, “Thank you, Lord,” from the front before Cam is speaking loudly again. 

Bea appears to have recovered—her cheeks are only slightly pink and she can meet Ava’s eyes. “We can do whatever you want, Ava.”

Well that certainly doesn’t help Ava’s brain stay on track. Beatrice clearly sees where her mind goes because she blushes and rolls her eyes. “What I mean,” she flicks Ava’s shoulder gently, “you pervert, is that we can talk whenever you want. I’m not going anywhere. Neither is Camila, or Mother Superion.” 

And, right, Bea is being kind and reassuring and lovely, and Ava is grateful, resting her head on Bea’s collarbone and exhaling, “Thanks, Bea.” 

Ava goes back to tracing patterns across the parts of Bea she can reach and they’re quiet for the rest of the ride, listening to Camila loudly and unnecessarily discuss meal schedules and whether they might have a movie night for the novitiates soon.

*************************************

When they pull into the compound, Camila is still on the phone, and she turns to the backseat to smile at them before hopping out, opening the back door for them, and making her way to the entrance, which is noticeably lacking the same kind of gawking crew she had been met with at the temple. Superion coming through, Ava is sure, and she reminds herself to say thank you. Ava takes the chance to press a kiss to Bea’s cheek and begins to extricate herself. 

She’s pulling herself up and over toward the door when she feels Bea’s hands on her hips, gripping gently, and on instinct she sinks back down, and oh, yep, yeah, she’s straddling Bea. And Bea is looking at her own hands on Ava’s hips like maybe they’re magic. It’s very cute. 

“Um, hi, Bea.”

Beatrice shakes her head and looks up at Ava, eyes still full of wonder, before the panic appears to set in. She starts to move her hands but Ava is quick, trapping them against the swell of her hips with her own and settling further down. She meets Bea’s eyes and smiles. 

“It’s okay. I like it when you touch me like this. Unless it’s too much for you, and then I can...”

Ava starts to move a leg and then Bea is squeezing her hips again. 

“No. Please stay. I...I like it.” 

She runs her hands to the small of Ava’s back and lets her palms spread. It’s almost possessive. (Ava wants it to be possessive.)

“I missed you so much, Ava.” 

Her voice is so earnest and gentle and Bea that Ava feels herself start to cry again. 

“Oh my god,” Ava laughs out, moving her hands to cup Bea’s jaw, “I missed you too, Bea. So fucking much. There aren’t even...I can’t even tell you how much.” 

Beatrice lifts a hand to gently wipe away a tear and glances outside to see Camila at the call box by the gate, still on the phone. Bea meets Ava’s eyes. 

“Everyone is going to have a lot of questions for you, and I imagine Dr. Salvius will want to run quite a few tests.” She frowns slightly. “Although tell me if you need to rest and I can handle them for you. You should get whatever time you need.” 

Ava smiles at her, moves her hands to rest on her shoulders and thumbs at the dips of her collarbones beneath her shirt. 

“You’re sweet. I’m really kind of wired, Bea, but I promise I’ll tell you. I was serious about wanting to sleep, but I can’t right now.”

“Right. Good. That isn’t actually what I wanted to talk about. This might be the last moment we have alone together for a while and I couldn’t let it go without saying this." She breathes in deeply, holds Ava’s eyes. "Ava, I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Ava stops breathing for a second, can’t move, feels the halo hum at her in a gentle reminder. Bea must hear it because her face is suddenly concerned, hands moving to her waist and running over her arms like she’s checking Ava for injury. “Ava, are you…?”

Ava shakes her head, laughs. “I’m fine, Bea, promise. I’m more than fine. God. You literally,” it’s bad, she knows it’s bad, “take my breath away. The halo was just giving me a little nudge. I love you so much, Beatrice, holy shit.”

Bea is laughing and Ava is maybe the happiest she has ever been. She can feel the halo singing, waiting to shine, and she doesn’t want to stop it, but the light would be a bit much in the van.  She lets it pour through her instead, warmth and light flowing through and from her body, the still-strange feeling of the glow in her eyes. 

“Ava.” 

Bea’s voice is awed, and Ava preens a little, because yeah, it’s fucking cool that she can do this now. She lets the energy fade and presses a kiss to Bea’s forehead before sitting back against Bea’s knees. Beatrice is looking at her like she’s the most important thing in the world, and the best thing is that it’s familiar, that Beatrice has looked at her that way for a long time, that Ava knows that feeling has nothing to do with the halo. She basks in it. 

Bea says again, “I love you. Ava, I tried to say it before you left and I’ve been so afraid that I was too late. I never want to worry about that again. You deserve to know how loved you are. If it’s alright with you, I want to keep telling you,” her hands move back to Ava’s hips, almost unconsciously, “to show you, just how much I....” Bea catches herself and her face flushes and my god Ava had missed her, can’t believe she’s being given this gift, lets herself raise an eyebrow teasingly but otherwise stays quiet. Bea seems to gather herself. “I want to talk to you about this more, later. I just wanted to take advantage of a moment without an audience.” She frowns briefly in that thinking-Beatrice way, a look so familiar to Ava, imagined so many times as she waded through the bullshit of Reya’s world, that she almost starts crying again. “Although, Ava, I am so proud that I am the one who gets to love you and to be loved by you. I have no interest in hiding that.” Ava watches Bea raise her chin, sees the flash in her eyes, swoons a little. “I still have some of my own…baggage to deal with." A pause. "A lot of it, honestly, but none of it has anything to do with you. I am very happy for everyone to know that I am yours. Apparently most people already knew anyway. I just wanted it to be you and me, when I told you for the first time.” 

Ava tucks a strand of Bea’s hair, escaped from her bun, behind her ear and strokes Bea’s face. 

“You’re mine?” 

“If you want me.”

“Literally never wanted anything more.”

Ava looks at Bea, hopes she can see exactly how much she means it, and then she lets her smile shift from loving to something else, lets the teasing she had pressed down bubble to the surface. 

“I mean, just to get back to what you were saying before though, you said you wanted to show me, Bea, and I was just curious if you wanted to tell me more about...”

She’s cut off by Bea’s lips on hers, and she sighs out, chills breaking out on her arms when she feels Bea look for warm skin under the hem of her shirt, pull down just slightly so that Ava is pressed even more firmly against her. 

There is a knock on the window. Of the open van door. There is a knock on the window of the open van door. 

Camila is wearing a shit-eating grin and, totally unapologetic, crosses her arms and stares at them. “Sorry to interrupt,” Ava grumbles “liar” although Camila pretends not to hear, “but Mother Superion was getting concerned. Also,” her eyes are sparkling, “you appear to have forgotten that the door is open. You could at least wait until you get to bed, Ava, seeing as you’ll be there for what was it? Four days?” 

“I liked it better when you were embarrassed, Cam.” 

“Oh, never embarrassed, just not eager to be locked in the car with you while you two discussed your sleeping arrangements. I was already trying very hard to ignore the adorable and disgusting eyes you were making at each other. I expect many movie nights in penance.” 

She tilts her head. 

“Many movie nights with very strict rules about seating. And hands.” 

Ava reaches out to shove her (Camila dodges, cackling) and very begrudgingly removes herself from Bea’s lap, holding out a hand to Bea once she has made it out of the vehicle. Bea appears to be holding up pretty well given that a month ago (two years ago? Ava’s timeline is a full disaster) Ava’s pretty sure she would have spontaneously self-immolated had they been caught in that position. She just clears her throat and climbs out gracefully, lets go of Ava’s hand briefly to straighten her shirt and close the van door before linking her hand with Ava’s again. She’s bright red and absolutely, stupidly beautiful and Ava is so happy she can feel herself glowing, doesn’t bother to stop it this time, the halo enveloping the three of them again. 

Camila raises both eyebrows, “That’s new.” 

“Yeah me and Hal got to be friends while I was over there,” Ava points a thumb over her shoulder, “so he picks up on my emotions more. It’s kind of fun.”

Beatrice says, “Hal?,” just as Camila says, “We’ll have to put you two in a bedroom on the far side of the house, then. You’ll keep us all up.” 

Ava laughs delightedly while Beatrice makes a sound in the back of her throat that’s somewhere between embarrassment and exasperation. Ava tsks and pats her cheek before turning to follow Camila toward the entrance. 

“Careful, Cam, or I’ll take it as a challenge.” 

Camila laughs again, turning her head over her shoulder to grin at them. 

“What a blessing for us all that Beatrice is here to keep you under control.” 

Before Ava can respond, she hears Bea’s throat clear and a somewhat quiet, but definitely audible, “Only if she asks me to.” 

Camila trips. Ava stops and turns slowly to face Beatrice, who is still red, may apparently now permanently be a slightly pink version of her former self, if the last few hours mean anything. But despite the blush, Bea has her head up and meets Ava’s eyes without shame, with a very attractive glimmer of pride, in fact. And this is a fun new development coming about 3 years sooner than Ava anticipated, honestly. 

“Oh my god. Sister Beatrice.”

She gets, fucking wonder of a thing, a small shrug from Bea in response. 

“Again, not a sister anymore.” 

Well then. 

Camila has turned back to face them, is looking at Beatrice like she has never met her but is so very delighted to make her acquaintance. 

“Glad you took our conversation to heart, Beatrice.” 

Ava will definitely be following up on that, but before she can start, she sees Beatrice’s face suddenly shift, become hard in a way that Bea almost never lets it be. Ava knows who Bea is, what she can do, how, even though she doesn’t seek it, she has killed and will most likely kill again. Those parts of Bea, the soldier-in-the-Army-of-God parts, are usually a well-kept secret, buried under a carefully maintained calm. But Ava sees that Bea here, eyes stone and unrepentant, jaw set. 

“It becomes easier, I have found, to let some things go when you watch a lying god leave the woman you love to die on a cement floor.”

Well, fuck, that’s a real shift in mood. Ava is back at Bea’s side in a second, wrapping her arms around her and tucking her head into her neck. 

“Beatrice.” 

Bea’s body is rigid. Ava feels the box breathing for the second time today. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Ava mirrors it, feels the body pressed against hers uncoil. Bea holds her closer for a moment before kissing the top of her head and pulling away. She gives Ava a small, reassuring smile and she’s back to normal Bea, finding Camila’s eyes over Ava’s shoulder. 

“I apologize, Camila. I am obviously still working through some of my feelings.” 

Camila is gentle, smiling at Beatrice without any hesitation. 

“You have nothing to apologize for. Come on. Mother Superion is waiting.” 

Camila opens the gate. Ava stays close to Beatrice, pressing as much of herself against Bea as possible. Bea twines their fingers together and pulls them after Cam. 

#warrior nun #sister beatrice #ava silva #sister camila #avatrice

[threadandlace]

☆ He Makes His Stand- Seamstress for the Band series, part fourteen (4.5k)

☆☆☆ Minors DNI ☆☆☆

Masterlist- to start at the beginning

The ride back to the hotel was agonizing. You and Josh had taken a seat in the back of the bus and Ava had kept the third seat in your row empty by asking Danny to sit with her.

Ava and Danny chatted without a care as Josh got to work on getting you ready for what he had in store. He didn’t dare slip his hand under the waistband of your shorts- not with a whole van full of your friends and coworkers, but he did let his hands get dangerously close to the button as he ran his hands up and down your inner thighs. He’d lean over intermittently when Danny and Ava had turned to face the front, and nip at your neck or leave wet, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck and collarbone. 

You had responded by rubbing your hand along his thigh, but he had quickly stopped you by leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Do not get me hard right now or you’ll regret it,” he whispered and you stopped, instantly frozen. You quickly removed your hand and took a deep breath as you tried to focus on the conversation Ava and Danny were having, Sam inputting his opinions every so often from the front seat. 

As everyone started climbing out of the van, you leaned in to whisper in Josh’s ear, his curls tickling your nose as you moved closer. “Meet me in my room after everyone settles in?” you asked. He squeezed your leg in confirmation before moving towards the door of the bus, turning to offer you a hand as you followed. 

Nobody seemed to notice anything as you loaded into the elevators, Josh keeping a point of contact with you the entire time. Whether it be his pinky trailing against your arm, his shoulder pressed against you, or his leg casually crossed over yours as you leaned back against the side of the elevator, the heat of his touch never left you. That was until he gave your hand a squeeze before walking past you after the group had arrived at your door. You watched him saunter down the hall with the rest of the guys, only turning back to give you a smirk and a wink.

The second you closed the door to your room, you were in a panic. You didn’t want to admit it, but it had been a while since you’d been with someone else and the anxiety you felt bubbling in your chest threatened to ruin what you knew would likely be an amazing night. You didn’t have much time to get caught up in your mind though, because a soft knock on your door slowed the whirlwind of negative thoughts rolling through your brain. And when you opened it up and saw Josh standing there, the thoughts stopped completely, your mind finally quiet.

Josh gave you a smile as he walked in, his nervous energy palpable. You both stood for a moment in the dim light of your room, waiting for the other to make the first move. Josh moved first and closed the space between you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you into him. “You want this?” he asked quietly, his eyes searching yours. You nodded and he cocked his head. “Words, please,” he chastised lightly and you chuckled before responding. “Yes, Josh. I want this.” He nodded and led you further into your room, his warm hand providing you with a source of grounding.

Josh kissed you again, this time more frantic as his hands started to wander your body. His hands moved slowly though, taking note of every inch of your body as he kissed you with fervor. He tasted sweet, likely the remnants of the glass of wine Jake had ordered for him at dinner which Josh had drank painfully slow as he kept his part of the promise to remain sober (or nearly sober) for tonight. 

His hands found the hem of your shirt and he slid his hand up to gently run his fingertips along your lower stomach. You inhaled a sharp breath before quickly moving to pull your shirt over your head, wanting to get rid of the clothing separating the two of you. Josh mirrored your movements, taking off his own shirt and pressing his chest against yours. You ran your hand down his chest and let your head fall back as he pressed soft kisses down your neck and along your collarbone. 

He carefully slipped two fingers under the strap of your bra, gently removing the strap from your shoulder. He repeated the motion on the other side before reaching back to undo the clasp. His hands moved with dexterity, yet it still took him a moment to undo the latch. As he worked, you kissed along his jaw. You could feel the slight scratch of his facial hair as you moved back to his lips, which were now swollen and pink from your kisses.

Your bra dropped to the floor and Josh took in a sharp breath as his eyes moved to your chest. He stood in awe for a moment before moving to take a breast in each hand. His thumbs moved over your nipples, eliciting a shaky breath from you. He looked up at you and smiled before removing his hands and taking yours. He pulled you behind him further into your room before spinning to face you, one hand moving to grip your hip. 

“Dance with me,” he whispered in your ear. You giggled but obliged, pressing yourself into him and wrapping your arms around his neck as you swayed. His arms wrapped around your waist, his skin warm against yours. Josh buried his head into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath before pulling away and kissing you deeply. 

You couldn’t wait any more- the feeling of him being so close, yet not close enough was driving you mad. “Josh please,” you whimpered. He nodded and released you from his arms before kneeling in front of you. You watched him as he slowly undid the button of your shorts before pulling the zipper down painfully slow. You were practically vibrating at the feeling of his fingertips lightly touching your skin as he pulled your shorts down. He placed a hand on your hip to steady you as you stepped out of them.

He looked up and smiled at you- it was a soft smile, like the one he greeted you with when you caught each other’s glance in the midst of the chaos backstage. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured, taking you in. He leaned in to leave open mouthed kisses along your thighs as his hands ran up along the back of your legs. When his mouth reached your hip bone, you reached to pull him up from the ground and pull him in for a kiss.

“I’ve waited this long for this, I’m going to take my time with you,” he said softly as he backed you up to the bed, letting you sit before he pushed you into the mattress. “Do you want me to go slow?” he whispered in your ear as his hand ran up along the inside of your thighs. “Whatever you want, Josh,” you croaked as his hand finally came to rest on your center. 

“No,” he shook his head, “tell me what you want.” You swallowed hard as he moved his hand, providing slight friction against your aching cunt. “I want you, Josh,” you rasped. He smiled at you, this time more of a sly grin. “And you have me,” he replied as he slowly slid your panties to the side, never breaking eye contact with you. 

“Even better than I imagined,” he said softly as he took you in, laying beneath him on the bed. He slowly slid his middle finger up through your folds. You sucked in a breath as you watched him close his eyes, his jaw clenching. He leaned forward to kiss along your jaw as he swirled his middle two fingers around your clit experimentally. “You’re so wet,” he murmured before pressing his mouth back against the warm skin of your neck. “All for you,” you whispered in response. He hummed against your skin as he slowly slid down your body, leaving soft kisses against your skin.

Josh stopped when he was kneeling between your legs. He slid your panties off and tossed them before flopping to his stomach. His hands carefully pulled you forward and he moved your knees to hook over his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him, his face contorted in concentration and pure lust as he looked at what you were sure was a glistening mess. 

“What?” he asked as he looked up to catch your eye, his face softening. “You look really pretty,” you replied and he shook his head before leaning over to kiss the inside of your knee. “This,” he said before dropping down to lick along your folds, “is what’s really pretty.” 

You would’ve rolled your eyes at the cheesiness if he didn’t follow the statement with a lick straight to your clit, the slight roughness of his tongue sending your head back against the bed. He took that as encouragement and did it again before suctioning his mouth over you. 

Josh worked slowly, but with intention. Every move he made had you gasping for air as he coaxed you to orgasm. You reached down to run your hands through his loose curls before he removed one hand from your leg to weave his fingers through yours. The extra connection got you over the ledge and you came hard, Josh’s name falling from your lips as you rode out the waves of pleasure. 

He gave you a moment to breathe before releasing your hand and pushing up off of his stomach. He gave you a crooked smile, his chin soaked with a combination of your wetness and his saliva. Josh cocked an eyebrow at you as you struggled to catch your breath. He wiped his chin before reaching down to run a coarse thumb over your clit, causing your hips to buck. 

“A little sensitive?” he asked, clearly enjoying the slight element of torment. You reached up and pulled him down on top of you in response, enjoying the weight of his body against yours. Your hands found the waistband of his pants and quickly worked to undo the button and hastily push the fabric off of his hips. Josh reached down to help you, tugging his pants the rest of the way off and tossing them to the floor. 

“Shit, I actually need those,” he said as he started to push himself off of you. “What?” you asked, grabbing onto his shoulder to stop him. “I brought a condom. I got it from Sam, I don’t just carry them around, because I haven’t-” he started, speaking quickly. “Josh,” you said and he stopped. “I have an IUD. We don’t need one unless you feel more comfortable with one,” you said and he stopped to look up at you. “Really?” he asked and you nodded. “I want to feel you. All of you,” you whispered as you ran a hand along his jaw. He nodded and leaned in to kiss you.

He kissed you for another moment before moving to kiss along your jaw. “Josh,” you said breathlessly. “Hmmmm,” he hummed against your skin. “I need you. Please,” you whimpered. He pulled back and smiled at you. “Seems to be the word of the night- please,” he chuckled and you rolled your eyes. 

“I can’t lie,” he whispered as he lined himself up with you, “I’ve been waiting for this since the moment I saw you.” “Really?” you asked and he nodded against your neck. “Me too,” you replied quietly as you turned to press a soft kiss against his lips.

 Josh took a deep breath before slowly pushing into you. He bent and groaned against your skin, his body melting into yours. You took in a deep breath as you adjusted to him- you knew he’d be big given you had been up close and personal to his lower half many times, but the ache made you realize you had greatly underestimated his size. 

“You okay? Can I move or do you need a second?” Josh whispered before lifting himself from your chest to look at you. “Give me a second, you’re bigger than I thought,” you answered honestly and he chuckled in response. “Nothing you can’t take,” he whispered in your ear, sending electricity shooting down your spine. A moment later you nodded to him and he moved slowly, easing himself in and out of you carefully. You were able to finish adjusting and the slight pain turned to immense pleasure. 

Everything was slow- his strokes, the way his hands glided along your body, the way his mouth moved against yours. In any other scenario, you’d be screaming for more, but the intimacy you felt was meeting every need you had. All except one- you needed more of him. More of the way he smelled, the way he softly moaned in your ear and against your lips as he hit spots deep inside of you, the way his chest rose and fell against yours. 

“Josh,” you said quietly. He looked up to meet your eyes, “yeah?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up to kiss him. “Please, I need you closer,” you panted and he nodded against your neck before pulling out. You whimpered at the loss of feeling, but his hands never left your body as he moved to lay beside you. 

Josh pulled you against his chest, his arm wrapping around your body as he pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. He lifted your leg up and over his hip before sliding back into you with a heavy sigh. Something about laying next to each other, wrapped in each other’s arms with your chests pressed together felt so right. 

He pushed the hair back from your eyes as you leaned to watch him thrust into you. “Fuck you feel so good,” he rasped as he thrust harder, causing you to let your head fall back against his arm. His hand brushed up against your side, leaving heat lingering in its wake as he moved to caress your face. He was everything you’d ever wanted and more.

Josh’s breathing was picking up, his chest heaving against yours as he struggled to maintain composure. “I don’t, uh, fuck,” he rasped between strokes. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold on,” he admitted, his face contorted as he focused. You leaned in to close the little space between you and kissed him one last time before pulling away and moving the curls from his sweaty forehead. “Cum for me Josh,” you urged.

That was all it took for him to finally let that final wall down. He clutched you to his chest as he came, your name falling from his lips in whispers and grunts as he came inside you. You gave him a moment to finish riding his high before you leaned to kiss him and press your forehead against his. 

Both of you laid like that for a moment, completely overtaken by bliss and basking in the post-sex high. Josh spoke first, breaking the comfortable silence. “That was…” he started before shaking his head against you, “better than amazing.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as you took in the words he had said- for a man that penned some of the most beautiful songs you’d ever heard, he seemed to be falling short of his usual prose. “What?” he asked, his eyes searching yours. “You seem a little less… poetic than usual,” you answered and he chuckled in response. “You left me speechless,” he answered.

Josh leaned down to slowly pull out of you, both of you groaning. “Don’t move,” he said as he stood quickly and headed towards the bathroom. A moment later he emerged with a warm washcloth.

You watched him as he carefully wiped you clean. His brows were furrowed as he concentrated, moving slowly and carefully so as not to overstimulate you. Once he had finished, he sat between your legs, gently running his hands along them. “I don’t know about you, but I think I need a shower. Care to join me?” he asked. His tone let you know he really wanted you to join him, although he’d never force you. “Sure,” you replied with a smile. 

Josh told you not to move until he had the warm water running and held his finger up towards you before running back to the bathroom to start the shower. You giggled as you watched him move quickly, his curls flopping.

A moment later, he emerged and held his hand out for you. “Come on sweet girl,” he said as he helped you up off of the bed. You followed him into the bathroom where steam was starting to accumulate. You entered the walk in shower first, Josh’s hand never leaving your body.

He was constantly connected to you- if he wasn’t gently washing your hair, he had his hand on your jaw as he leaned in to kiss you or his hand was gently placed on your side as you washed his hair. You’d never showered with another person, yet this didn’t feel foreign. Josh’s presence provided comfort and every time he touched you, it left you feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. While you were both naked, you felt a different type of energy between you- not sexual yet it was intimate in a different way.

After you’d both showered, you dried off side by side. “Can I spend the night?” Josh had asked as he watched you put your hair up in a towel. “Please,” was your simple answer. He flashed you a big grin before pulling you in for another kiss- this one was sweet and gave a promise of many more like it in the future. “I’m going to get a change of clothes and brush my teeth then, okay?” he said and you nodded. 

He disappeared back into the room and came back fully clothed. You frowned at the sight. “I’ll shed a few layers when I come back, okay?” he said quietly before leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. You nodded and he slipped out into the hall. 

You finished getting ready for bed and waited for Josh to get back. You were utterly exhausted yet wired at the same time- you’d never felt this sure of a decision before in your life. You loved Josh, fully and completely, and it was unlike anything you’d ever felt.

The sound of the lock clicking made you sit up in bed. Josh came back into the room and you gave him a bright smile which he returned before walking over to you. 

He bent to press a hand against your face and kiss your forehead. Josh plugged his phone into an extra charger you’d set up on the nightstand for him before removing his shirt. You moved over and opened the comforter up to invite him into the bed and he joined you, pulling you to his chest as he settled into the mattress. He turned to flip the light off before settling in next to you.

Both of you laid quietly for a moment. You listened to his heart beat in his chest, the sound instantly relaxing you. After a moment, Josh took a deep breath before speaking. “I think I love you,” he said quietly, his voice timid. “You think? Or you know?” you asked, your tone clearly not accusatory, but definitely curious. You felt his chest vibrate slightly as he chuckled uncomfortably and he reflected on his statement. “I know. 100%,” he answered, this time confidently. “Good, because I think I may love you,” you replied. You felt his breathing shift and you reached up to move the wet curls away from his face. “Except I know, too,” you finished before pressing a light kiss to his lips.

___________________________________

You woke up to your phone buzzing incessantly on the nightstand. You groaned and turned to reach for it but weren’t able to move- Josh had you clutched to his chest, both arms wrapped around you as he breathed softly in your ear. You gently loosened his grip on you and leaned forward to reach for your phone.

Josh’s phone was the one ringing, not yours. You saw that his brothers had called and texted a few times but you refrained from reading anything and instead put the phone back down before rolling back to face Josh, who was still fast asleep. 

You watched him sleep for a moment, taking comfort in watching his chest rise and fall. His face was relaxed in a way you loved to see- no stress, no pain, no thinking, just pure bliss. He must have felt your eyes on him as he started to stir, his hands reaching out unconsciously to pull you into his chest. 

“Good morning,” he said quietly before pressing a kiss into the top of your head. His voice was low and raspy, laced with exhaustion as he stretched next to you. “Good morning,” you replied as you turned your head to look at him. Sleep was still etched on his face as he smiled at you, relaxed and warm. 

“Last night was…” you started and Josh’s smile widened as he closed his eyes to reminisce. “Long overdue,” he finished your thought. You nodded and rested your head on his chest. “I was also going to say perfect, but that works,” you replied. His chest rose and fell as he chuckled, the sound deep and melodic. “I have to agree. Lots more of that in the future,” he added before pressing another kiss against your forehead and reaching for his phone.

“What’s up? Did you get a call time?” you asked, turning to watch him as he read through the messages on his phone. “Yeah, apparently they told us last night that we need to leave at 10. Totally missed that, was a little preoccupied,” he said with a chuckle. You angled his phone so you could see the time and groaned. “It’s already 9:45? I guess we need to get up,” you said with a sigh and Josh groaned in response before pulling you closer. “Let’s just enjoy this for one moment longer, please,” he begged. You nodded against him, in total agreement. 

_______________________________________

Loud, repetitive knocking on your door woke you up. Josh had also been asleep and groaned as you pulled yourself away from him. He followed you to the door though and wrapped his arm around you as you pulled it open. 

Jake stood in front of you, luggage in hand and a scowl on his face. “You guys are late, get dressed and get downstairs before Em kills both of you,” he said as he thrust Josh’s backpack into his hands before turning on his heel and heading down the hall, pulling his and Josh’s suitcases behind him. 

“Fuck,” Josh whispered as he turned to show you his phone which was displaying the time as 10:15 am. You and Josh hurried to get ready and you packed the rest of your belongings before you both headed down the hall and into the elevator. In one of the last moments of private peace of the day, Josh pulled you into him and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. You pulled back as the elevator doors opened, reaching out to squeeze his hand slightly before walking out to the bus.

“Glad you could join us,” Emily said as you both climbed onto the wardrobe bus. She was clearly irritated, but the smile she gave you indicated she wasn’t as angry as she appeared. “You two sit and we can finally get on our way,” she said as she headed off the bus in a whirlwind, clipboard in hand.

You took your regular spot and Josh sat on the bench closest to you, giving you a smile before reaching out to squeeze your hand. You both looked over at Sam who was stretched out on the bench across from both of you. He gave you and Josh a smile before settling back into the pillows on the bench and starting to scroll on his phone. “Fucking finally,” he said, almost to himself as he settled in for the short ride to the venue. You turned to look at Josh who just shrugged.

The day moved slowly, the way it always seemed to when you had to get to a venue early. Today was different though- Josh, who was always by your side anyway, was even closer to you the entire time. He was always touching you, whether it be his hand gently wrapped over yours or his leg stretched out to gently rest against yours as you sat on the floor of his dressing room, both of you enthralled in your own separate projects. Things felt the way they always had, albeit a bit different. You were comfortable, basking in the love that was pouring out of Josh and returning it back to him.

When Emily stuck her head in and called for Josh to make his way to the stage, your heart swelled from the excitement you felt over getting to share this amazing, talented person with those gathered in the venue that night. He looked good, as he always did, but the red jumpsuit seemed to cling to him more perfectly than you remembered. Something about seeing the man you loved in something you created filled you with a sense of euphoria unmatched by anything else.

Josh pulled you out into the hallway, the rest of the band and various parts of their team waiting to walk the short distance to the staging area. Josh pulled you into him and pressed a gentle, but passionate kiss against your lips, his head tilting to rest his forehead against yours before he pulled back. He gave you a grin before squeezing both of your hands and heading down the hallway, seemingly floating on a sea of red sequins and sparkles. 

You turned to look at the rest of the group. Most people looked a little shocked, although the smiles you saw from the rest of the band, as well as Emily and Ava, seemed to confirm that they knew that this was coming. Josh had simply made his stand, claiming you as his person before heading down the hall to perform and enchant the masses like any other day. 

~fin~

Thank you to everyone who has been reading along and enjoying this little story I've grown so attached to! I truly appreciate all the love and support, and knowing at least a few people have tuned in means so much to me!

You can expect some spin-off's in this seamstress universe, as they're already in the works! I feel like Ava and Sam need a chance to have their side of the story told, and I promise Danny has his time coming! I also have the title card and outline for a special 16th part to Seamstress, so hopefully one day that can come together!

Sorry for the late post, but I hope I was able to wrap things up nicely for y'all!

____________________________________________

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf @gretavansara @everyglowinthetwilightknows

#seamstressfortheband #greta van fleet #greta van fic #gvf #gvf fic

[madhare0512]

A Comprehensive List of Spideyfist Interactions (pt.2)

hello and welcome back to: reasons Spideyfist is canon. a series where i take you through each episode of The Ultimate Spiderman and show you why i believe that Spiderman and Iron Fist are dating in canon. and also give you a little insight into my thoughts of the show

warnings for: episode spoilers, season spoilers, action/injury description, unsolicited commentary, probable cussing, violence, caps lock

this part features episodes 7 through 13 of season one

~~~

S1E7 Exclusive: 

- Danny is in this episode for point-five seconds and he doesn’t even speak or interact with Peter much so again, almost entirely headcanon and commentary but i’ll try

- MJ going through different versions of her name for the Daily Bugle interview was really cute

- this entire episode is filmed almost entirely from the POV of MJ’s camera and that’s a crime

- while Sam, Ava, and Luke look vaguely upset about the interview, Danny just looks tired, almost as if this is a fight he’s heard and is not interested in continuing. 

- honorable PowerTiger mention: Ava and Luke are practically sitting in each other’s laps

- lets count the amount of times MJ is picked up and moved by Peter as Spiderman. here’s one

- that’s two

- MJ is a fucking idiot, you don’t run TOWARDS the danger, even if you’re a reporter

- bug man is somehow the best and worst insult Hulk could’ve come up with 

- how many times did Peter consider calling the team this fight? cause all we see is what the camera shows us, so it’s possible he tried to call the team

- “then stay low” ah yes, perfect compromise

- at least she acknowledges she’s not being smart here

- five

- eight, but off camera

-i think people sometimes forget that behind the sarcasm and powers is a kid who’s super fucking smart and way out of his depth. Peter’s used to being a solo act, he doesn’t know how to be a team leader, you know?

- SHIELD in this series makes me angry specifically because Peter is a proven ally and they shot at him anyway

- eleven, two off camera, one partially off camera

- headcanon: “sparky” is also a nickname Peter affectionately uses for Danny when they start dating 

- ahh the end of the camera pov

- Hulk just picks Peter up and moves him like he weighs nothing

- you don’t see the kind of desperation Peter displays when searching for MJ often. so far, it’s shown for Harry and MJ alone. 

~~~

S1E8: Back in Black

- the dragon man scares me, but only because i love dragons and hate to see them slandered like this

- the Venom suit is cool but that’s essentially it for this version of Venom

- why don’t people listen to Peter’s bad feelings more often?

- Peter sits next to Danny during the meeting

- while the others harp on Peter for being jealous and cry about him being sick, Danny says, “perhaps you’re seeing connections where there are none” which i believe was his attempt at comforting Peter. Venom was traumatizing for all of them, but for Peter especially

- also, i know the wiki says that Fury and the team wanted Venom on the team, but the first one who brings that up is Peter. 

- the fact that no one says “are you okay?” kind of hurts, but also from the voice and excessive sneezing t’s kinda obvious he isn’t so i’ll give them a pass on that. i’m attributing the no comforting to the fact that they’ve only known each other for a few months or so at this point. i like to believe that Danny reaches out later and asks after Peter because he’s that kind of guy

- okay, so if it wasn’t obvious BEFORE NOW that this fake-Spidey is Harry, the flexing bit just proves it. 

- also, how Harry doesn’t put it together that Peter is Spiderman from this episode alone is beyond me

- another thing that turns me off of SpideyNova is that Sam seems to constantly antagonize Peter at every chance he gets

- this episode marks the beginning of Peter and Harry’s cracking friendship

- Harry’s whole villain arc later in the series is actually very tragic when you consider that all it really is, is that Harry wants his dad’s approval. it’s all he’s ever wanted

- “last time we met, you had someone inside there that shouldn’t be” flashbacks to episode 4 when Sam, Luke, and Danny got trapped

- Vemon is much cooler in the Hardy movies if i’m honest with myself, but that’s only because of Eddie Brock

- headcanon: Harry Osborn has electricity scars on his back

- Peter recounting his fight to Fury is cute

- the team all harp on Peter for getting them sick, but Danny’s comment was “there is absolutely no enlightenment to be found in this level of misery” which less harping and more a complaint that he doesn’t like being sick

- side note: colds are spread by bodily fluid and Peter has hardly been around the team unless you count sneezing at Sam from like six feet away, so how did the entire team catch Peter’s cold?

~~~

S1E9 Field Trip: 

- Peter, sir, why the juice box?

- of course Danny studied the ancient texts and OF COURSE he can read this Nordic rock. also, i fully believe that Danny’s mystic powers are the only reason the stone activated to send the Frost Giant through

- so you can’t see it well and it’s only for a split second, but when the Frost Giant first brings it’s club down and it brings the club back up, you can see that Peter has appeared in front of Danny and Sam has now teleported to be standing behind Luke. i’m counting this towards SpideyFist for the express reason that there is NO NEED for Peter and Danny to be standing that close together

- “what is that thing?”, Danny you studied the ancient texts and they said NOTHING about Frost Giants?

- the second Danny gets hurt, Peter’s giving orders for “less talking, more teamwork”

- this might be me, but Peter always sounds so admiring when he talks about Danny and this introduction to Thor is no different

- Danny jumping in to calm the arguement, by offering the sage advice DIRECTLY TO PETER

- okay, so Luke, Sam, and Ava are looking in the direction i assume the ice came from, but Danny is not, so what’s Danny looking at? my guess? he was going to warn Peter and Thor about the Frost Giants before they even appeared

- Danny goes looking for weak points in the ice and without even discussing it, Peter knows exactly what he’s doing which suggests a level of familiarity we’ve yet to see between Peter and the others

- Peter also asks how the progress is coming and when Danny responds with one of his sayings instead of “yes, no” or something more concrete, Peter just accepts it without comment

- “found it” busts through a wall of solid ice like it’s nothing DAMN BOY 

- you know, the Frost Giants keep freezing Danny specifically and i feel like it’s telling that it’s happened TWICE that Danny was incapacitated first (once with Venom and now with the Frost Giants)

- when desposited back in the snow, Danny and Peter land directly parallel to each other

- Danny and Peter step forward together when the dwarf is scolding Thor

- when they find him, the Master Dwarf is working on the sword he’ll later give to Danny

- in the line up, Danny and Peter are standing close together. you don’t see their hands, but i firmly believe they held hands at first

- what is it with Danny and Peter and standing close together this episode? it’s like every chance they get. just another reason i firmly believe this is the episode BEFORE they got together

~~~

S1E10 Freaky: 

- Mesmero gives “skiddish teenager” vibes, not “supervillain” vibes

- when Sam goes to protest as Peter walks away, Danny stops him from saying anything, which i am in fact counting as minorly protective

- Danny is the only one who seems actually concerned with how Peter’s acting instead of upset.

- Danny’s question also suggests that he expected an honest response, as if he’d asked something similar before, perhaps many times. and the shoulder touch! 

- firstly, Wolverine is unneccisarily aggressive with a non-confrontational Danny, but second, the way Danny looks both afraid and concerned says a lot to how he feels about Peter and how Peter acts around him

- “baby i do like me a redhead” flashbacks to Wolverine’s crush on Jean

- off screen convos include what Wolverine said to the team, MJ, and Harry and how things went down with Danny specifically. something like: “kid, you got a guy willing to stand up for you when you’re not yourself and when you’ve just threatened him. if i where you, i wouldn’t let him go.”

- Danny was in Peter’s “soap opera” themed daydream-sequence alongside MJ and Ava, who would both be considered love-interests

- a random Deadpool appears

- Peter also apologizes off-screen to the team, MJ, and Harry. this is the episode Danny and Peter get together

~~~

S1E11 Venom Attack:

- okay, and again i’ll say Peter is supposed to operate independant of SHIELD. Nick can’t order him off the assignment

- Danny doesn’t seem annoyed at being caught in the webs like the others are

- Danny is the only one Peter apologizes to when Peter redirects the team’s attacks on Venom

- Danny is the first one Peter acknowledges when he’s being scolded by the team for keeping secrets

- “wait, you can do that?” “he can do that” not Danny casually being the only one who remembers that Peter is fucking SMART

- Danny being the one to consistantly acknowldge there is another life inside Venom once being told so and using Harry’s name as a reminder to the others that it’s PETER’S BEST FRIEND that acts as Venom’s host

- Danny’s the first one to show up on the roof when Peter’s up there with Venom

- USM!Osborn makes the list of shitty fathers purely because he’s using his son as a science experiment

- okay “Squash the Spider” is kinda fucked, but also they’re stupid teenagers so i’m giving them a “they don’t know much better” pass where everyone apologizes off screen

~~~

S1E12 Me Time: 

- Peter being worried about Aunt May being caught indencent is really cute

- FURY GAVE MINORS CONTRACTS TO SIGN AND THOUGHT THAT’D BE A-O-FUCKING-KAY? jesus fuck the more i watch this show as an adult the more fucked up it seems

- we’re supposed to see him leaving his communicator and walking out as Peter being idiotic, but in reality this is a massive breech of privacy for a company full of SPIES who give contracts to teenagers and expect them to sign it with no issues. and you know, maybe there are none. i guarentee you that if a lawyer went over those contracts, there’d be a lot of things wrong with them. these are children! the only ones of them that have legal guardians are Luke and Peter. Luke’s parents are SHIELD scientists and Peter lives with his Aunt! this is fucking BS

- no notable interactions between Danny and Peter in this episode, so here’s a headcanon. when Danny found out that Spiderman was captured by Doc Ock, he went to Peter’s home and asked to spend a few hours out with him. under the guise of making sure Peter is okay. in reality it’s because Danny’s kinda scared to lose Peter, even only knowing him for a short amount of time

~~~

S1E13 Strange Days: 

- this is one of my favorite episodes because of the whole magic v. science debate. i think it’s really cool

- Danny tells Peter that he was dreamwalking, which seems pretty personal and private. Peter didn’t seem shocked when Danny tells him this, so they’ve likely talked about it, which means that Peter has probably given Danny permission to walk in his dreams. 

- Danny wakes Peter up instead of someone he’s known longer, like Luke, or someone better suited to a mystic battle, like Ava

- Danny wakes Peter up KNOWING how Peter feels about actual magic, implying they’ve talked about that as well, at length probably because Danny’s on the mystic side of things while Peter firmly believes in science

- Peter knows Danny well enough to predict Danny’s reaction to something unexplained that he seems to know a little something about, explained as “weird and foreboding”

- Danny holds on to Peter’s waist when they’re riding the Spider-Cycle, much like one in media would traditionally hold on if you where DATING

- even Danny’s explaination of magic sounds practiced, as if he’s repeated it a lot, specifically to Peter

- Danny seems so happy when Peter seems to get something he’s saying

- Peter’s fond exasperation when the quote goes over Danny’s head

- Danny takes all of Peter’s jokes and silliness without complaint or judgement

- traditoinally, bowing to someone is shown to be a sign of respect to them. Danny bowing to Peter, even sarcastically, kind of shows the same thing

- Peter acts like “a beacon to someone with [Danny’s] sensitivities” which i’m counting because it falls under the “fate put them together” tag

- Danny comforting Peter when his mind is blown BIG TIME by Doctor Strange, with an arm around the shoulders and a hand on the bicep

- idk if this makes sense, but during the full episode, Peter’s focus is on Danny almost entirely, even when it seems like it’s not

- Danny’s immediately justification of bringing Peter instead of someone more qualified, Danny is Peter’s number-one fan and you can’t convince me otherwise

- in Luke’s dreamworld, Danny and Peter are tied back to back, which is symbolic in that even Luke sees they’re always there for each other. Luke and Danny may be ride-or-die, but Danny and Peter are more than even that

- Peter looks at Danny when he says, “i will temporarily press pause on my magic bashing”, mystic arts are a big part of who Danny is as a person and Peter knows that, which means that, coming from Peter, those words would mean more to him than they would to Strange

- Peter gets knocked down and Danny IMMEDIATELY takes out the Dreamon who does it and then helps Peter up. he also proceeds to explain the rules of this world Peter’s never been exposed to

- Peter clocks it immediately when Danny disappears into his dreamroom

- Danny’s introduction of his home to Peter, even in his dreamlike state

- Peter continuously trying to tell Danny that this isn’t real, even saying “i bet it’s fantastic, in REAL LIFE” and saying “that’s Nightmare!”

- Danny’s assurance to Peter that he doesn’t have anything to fear, but not saying he’s not afraid. clever bit of word play there, tbh. also Peter knowing Danny’s scared anyway

- despite being in the dreamworld, Danny STILL listens to Peter when Peter says anything

- Peter defends Danny against his own worst fears, struggling agianst iron bars that keep him away from Danny while shouting encouragement. 

- Danny tells Peter his worst fears, a choice he makes to elaborate on what Peter is already seeing

- Peter punches through three iron bars to get to Danny

- i firmly believe that Nightmare’s roaring wasn’t what kicked Peter out of Danny’s dreamroom, but Danny himself. Danny is supposed to be the mysterious, mystic warrior, a king sometime in the future when his year of study is up. i highly doubt he was given lessons on mental health in K’un-Lun, so it’s probable that Danny doesn’t want Peter to see him at a low point. so he kicks Peter out of his dreamroom in order to protect both himself and Peter, because god knows the kind of damage a damn dragon can to the unexperienced soul

- “he’s playing your fears! just like he did Iron Fist!” Peter is so far gone, mans isn’t even HERE and he’s still mentioning him every two seconds

- Danny and Peter are standing UNNECCISARILY CLOSE TOGETHER

- “nice entrance!” “i try. thank you for beliving in me” translation: “thank god your back” “of course i am, you saved me”. ALTERNATE TRANSLATION: “you came!” “you called.”

- THE SHOULDER TOUCHING

- in my experience, when you’re sleeping around another person, generally you feel safe around them. which lines up with what happened in this ep, but also, one experience doesn’t equal a pattern

- going back to the desperation thing from episode 7? the desperation’s been shown for Danny now

~~~

thank you!

#ultimate spiderman #the ultimate spiderman #thoughts and headcanons #mad writes #things i write #spideyfist #spiderman/iron fist #analysis #season analysis #season 1 #peter parker #danny rand #luke cage #ava ayala #sam alexander #spiderman #iron fist #power man #white tiger #nova #getting together #character analysis #media commentary #commentary #with honorable mentions of powertiger

[anonymous1038]

The Triple Trouble for the baddies + villain MC (for Week 1 of the @ila-appreciationweek)

1) Jasper Bright - Resurrected (ILITW)

2) Harper Vance - Alive (ILB)

3) Violet Rendanza - Power creature in a human body (ILW - Mixed Path)

4) Sumire Lunar - the Power turned villain (ILW - Villain Path)

Headcanons for them:

Jasper Bright

-  Before Jane’s death, everyone referred to him as the Little Ray of Sunshine due to his approachability and friendliness. Part of the reason why the childhood friends got to know each other is thanks to him.

- The reason why he dyed his hair lavender is to try and separate his child self from himself as much as possible. 

-He has undiagnosed PTSD from Jane’s death and it didn’t get professionally diagnosed until after homecoming, when he finally told his parents the truth.

- From childhood, he had developed a small crush on Lucas that blossomed into love when they reconnected in high school. Ava, Stacy and Andy were constantly teasing him about this back then and especially during the events of ILITW.

- His parents blamed themselves everyday for his death. Though they have a somewhat distant relationship due to work, Mr. and Mrs. Bright cared about their son and grieved him everyday.

- When his parents find out about his relationship with Lucas, they’re very supportive of it and immediately treated the former student body president as their own. They’re also one of the reasons why Lucas kept going and tried to move on after the Are You Scared? game.

- Lucas loves making punny compliments with his last name. (Example: “You’re just so...Bright) No matter how much he tried to play it off like he hated it, he always bust out laughing in the end.

- He almost never listens to Noah telling him to pace himself when eating food. Mainly because he thinks doing so will grant him some kind of taste.

- Jasper wanted to become a singer when he was a kid, music was basically a huge comfort for him and became his main way of coping from what happened with Jane, which amplified his liking for it. After getting revived, he takes vocal couching lessons from Violet to try and achieve his dream after losing four years of his life.

- His parents didn’t let him leave their house for 1 week when they found out he was brought back.

Harper Vance

-  Dated a lot of people during his life but they usually never last more than a week. He thought that would be the same with Tom, but he proved him wrong with his loyalty and sweetness.

- Harper loves teasing everyone around him. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is (except during the danger hours) he would take any and every opportunity to tease them.

- He’s not a fan of showing weakness or vulnerability in front of those he dislikes, but finds it harder to ask for help from those he care about. Elliot is constantly telling him that Tom was the only reason why he starts asking for help now.

- Gets older brother instincts around Jasper, before and after his resurrection. The main reason for this is because his mannerisms when he was a ghost reminded him of Elliot when he was young.

- Harper still harbours some amount of resentment towards Loha for essentially kidnapping him for months, despite knowing her intentions. He never goes to the viewing chamber alone (or ever) after the incident.

- At one point, Harper was able to catch a few glimpses of the other half of Jasper’s soul during his time in the void world. They were never able to talk to each other, but they can still feel some kind of understanding for each other, being trapped in another realm with no way home.

- Harper often jokes with Jasper that their names rhyme while Violet’s doesn’t with either of them.

- Sometimes he gets asked why he doesn’t use his Rune Armor more often. And his answer? He doesn’t want the thing to keep latching itself onto him every time they go out to hunt horrors. It freaks him out.

Violet Rendanza

-  She would sometimes use her powers to create unique light shows. Needless to say she’s basically the decorations at any party.

- She and Jasper are constantly mistaken as siblings due to their hair color and how they act around each other. After a while, they began to treat each other like siblings do and eventually accepted their fates as non-blood related siblings.

- Violet, Harper and Jasper sometimes meet up in real life or on video call to play video games with each other. Usually it ends with them yelling at each other but they always have fun in the end.

- During the winter, Violet makes sure to have mittens that can fit two hands at once just for Jocelyn, since the latter leaves her gloves at home so they can hold hands better.

- She loves listening to metal, and jams out to it with Jocelyn at times in her apartment.

- Violet’s a little complicated. She can either be super sweet one moment and very, very aggressive the next, but mostly the latter. Jocelyn says she loves both sides as they kind of remind her of herself.

- To try and distract herself from the pain of losing her eye, she sometimes try acting like a pirate and oftentimes get caught by someone doing some ridiculous pose and in the middle of a dumb pirate one-liner. Every time she’s caught she aggressively chases whoever it was that caught her until they’r both out of breath - the only exceptions to this are Amalia and Jocelyn.

- Super protective over lots of people - Abel, Amalia, Lincoln, Jasper, Stacy, Connor and Harper especially.

- At one point, she, Harper and Jasper introduced their pets to each other - Moss the vine creature for Violet and Jasper, Sugar the kitten and Soar the crow for Jasper and Thumper the jackalope for Harper. Chaos broke out. And somehow the trio made it out unscathed.

Sumire Lunar

- Sumire screwed around with Abel and Amalia precisely because they’re ‘her type’. Kind and ambitious. But she found herself more drawn to Matthias, and the reason for that is because she found those qualities more present in him despite being secretly evil.

- She visits the caves for the sole purpose of tormenting Jasper and testing her powers against his spirit.

- If she still had her mental link with Harper, she would be torturing him with all sorts of things - dreams, deaths, the likes. Mainly because she wants him to know what she went through when he was forced to give her directions to all sorts of places that could’ve killed her.

- She does misses Matthias, but she knows he probably would’ve done the same to her if she didn’t betray him first. 

- She gets trust issues after the whole Loha thing, which is why she doesn’t want followers.

- She fully intends to keep her former friends alive so they can watch as she brings the world to its knees.

#ilitw #ilb #ilw

[chaoticcutiewhirl]

So more Plural stuff

Needing to write this down for the reason that I made this realization and didn't want us to forgetat this factor: All of us have like different levels of awareness and different levels of confrontation and this thought process has kinda fucked with me so consider this also an informal introduction post:

So a realization I had was that at the top you have Avarstia who is always being observant and has the most emotional inteligence, she is very much a comfort like how we view the gods of death should be. She is a fictive with a lot of memory because of the factor that she was kinda who was a main character in our stories which now feel... to an extent autobiographical. Either way when she is fronting, we trust her to front alone and she will be a lot more level headed and willing to watch and observe, staying quiet and is kinda our most patient headmate. She is also more than willing to be confrontational which is kinda rare given the rest of us but still: She ultimately is very focused outwardly and is a lot more wanting to be a guiding hand.

Meanwhile Rowan, xe is also very observant and she is very much who we switch into when in a tizzy as she has like the best reation time. They're also very much observant but more so in the way of knowing how to act and when to mask, very much kinda a survival instinct is present that is a bit weaker for the rest of us as we do not like lying but she doesn't mind when xe has to weave a web of lies, fitting given she is a spider-woman. Like she also has one of the most capacities for empathy that feels almost foreign given our upbringing but because of her I think we are finally healing some in our percieved trauma of distrust and needing to burn bridges, isolating ouselves because of a lack of safety. So far its been a year and me (Sylvia/Ava) and Rowan seem to have been the most proactive for our building of trust in others and feeling we can be safe in the future.

Moving on you get me in the middle, I have my analytical moments like Rowan and Avarstia do naturally but I more so get lost in thought in comparison to them, likely because I am the host and the use of escapism really has helpped me in the past, likely being because I am at the front most besides Lucinda who has recently started to front nearly as much as I do. Still I am rarely on high alert and even when i am I am much less prone to being ready to fight over taking flight. I am more reactive than proactive but my focus is a lot more stable persay than what I have noticed of the others.

Kade is rare to front and when he does it is in 30 minute to hour long bursts and we don't trust him to front alone given his more hypersexual responses. We do not know what trauma caused him as we have ideas on what caused all of us in the case where I am not the original host but Kade is a mystery still as they only shown up a week or two ago noticably and as there is a lot of gaps in our memories before a 5 or 6 years ago we don't know if its the same familial abuse or something we blocked out. They are very much switchy in themself, changing from masc to femme to androgynous on a whim although leaning toward masc, and it doesn't help they aren't out too often but they are rowdy and more self centered in their focus. Kade very much goes with the whims of emotions and barely takes into account awareness of what is going on and it has not helped in the slightest. Simply to say he doesn't have much in the same level of observation as those above.

And then Lucinda! She is very much a sign of light we needed alongside Rowan, there have been bursts of her activity in what we have been able to attribute and it seems now we have femme clothing she is here to stay without gaps. Lucinda is very much more flighty as her attention bounces, making it hard for us to keep on one topic while she is fronting, making me think we may have ADHD and she is hit by it hard even given my research has shown that alters can expirence symptoms worse than others. She lacks the same observation skills because she is focused on one thing (usually visual art) or unable to focus at all and has to bounce around... like the bunny she is.

Either way this is a weird but eye-opening realization especially considering Avarstia and Rowan have been considered as like the system caretakers and sort of guardian role of sorts who take the front to help sheild us in worse situations than our general lows. Shifting from a cold observational anger to one of a spider who may have exomemory trauma that is blurry as well? its hard to elaborate but Rowan when fronting can be viseral with phandom sensations besides our otherkin standard stuff of unease. Then you have me and Lucinda being the sort of uplifting sort easy to fall into our own worlds of focus.... And then Kade... I do not know what is going on with them as... yeah.

Ava/Sylvia (Aka it is your local Snake Gal :3)

#Plural #plurality #plural system #Still understanding things #Rambles #rambling

[katesqeckoa]

10 (ava/luca)

morning after starters

10. for one muse to wake the other up with oral 

The stirring beside him hadn’t been what woke Luca up. His internal clock made it so sleeping past a certain hour didn’t seem like an option. Luca could nap throughout the day if given the chance, even sleep the day away if he could, but he was always up a little earlier than he wanted to be and had to carry on for a little while throughout the day before napping was an option. There were often times when he would wake up, keep his eyes shut tight with hopes he would fall back asleep, and it never seemed to happen. Things weren’t any different now when he woke up only a few minutes ago and kept his eyes shut, not bothering to move around in the bed or open his eyes to look beside him. He knew Ava would sleep a while longer, just as she always did after a long shift the night before that carried on into the morning. That was fine with him when it gave him the chance to, at the very least, rest beside her for at least another hour. "Are you awake?" That had been the plan until he heard her voice and felt the shift in their bed that told him she moved towards him. "No," he replied in an even tone, eyes remaining shut a moment longer. Only when he felt a little more of a shift and soon felt her hand trailing down his body did he finally let himself stir in the slightest. "Are you sure?" Her words were low and he heard a certain tone that told him something he didn’t need to open his eyes to see. One of her hands trailed down his body and he soon felt it wrap around his hard on. "I think you are." Luca inhaled a deep breath through his teeth. He didn’t even get the chance to open his eyes and look at her before she already moved down along the bed. By the time his eyes opened and he got the chance to take in the sun shining through their curtains, he saw her tongue trailing down his abs and not yet stopping until she was resting low enough to wrap her lips around his morning wood without a warning. "Fuck," he groaned, looking down to see her looking up at him through her lashes with her head bobbing up and down a few times. A hand reached down so fingers were soon tangled in her hair as he inhaled through his nose and let his eyes flutter shut. "Good morning, baby girl." "Good morning," she responded after pulling back, though she only pulled back long enough to speak before getting back to it.

#tuseranita #moonflowcr #answered. #( ava & luca. ) #( v. devil's paradise. ) #nsfw.

[dank-meme-legend]

Understand The Flames

Word Count: 1,289

(Happy 2023! I have Covid and I feel quite crummy, but I’m starting the year off with some dopamine in the form on this fic I’m in love with)

————————————————————————

It's a warm evening in Spring and, as a date, Lilly drives herself and Ava out to watch the sunset.

The car ends up in the middle of a field and no one is here except for them.

For a while, they watch the sunset, their hands pressed together over the center console of the car, in a peaceful silence.

The sunset is gorgeous, golden yellow and orange swirled together all across the sky.

And while Ava enjoys the sunset quite a lot, she looks at Lilly, at the glint of simple wonder in her eyes and the golden sunlight shining against her face, and all she wants to do is kiss her and not stop for a long time.

"Lilly," She starts softly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you? Please?"

Ava's, "Please" comes out earnest and sweet, Lilly's heart feels warm because of it.

There's never been a time where Lilly has denied Ava a kiss and today is no different.

Lilly nods and moves towards her, caressing her cheek.

Ava leans into the gentle touch, holding Lilly's hand against her cheek, keeping it there for a moment.

It's sweet, sweet and loving.

Both girl's hearts swell and swell.

When they move the tiniest bit back from each other, a breathy, giddy chuckle comes from both of them.

Giddy and in love, that is what they are.

They've been in love for a little over a year now, their one year anniversary having been celebrated back in February.

It's been a year to remember, so much newness and excitement, bright, bursting flames of love.

Ava and Lilly have settled into the flames, engulfing themselves in it's warmth.

The flames are, and always will be, bright and burning and warm, but the fire is familiar more than anything.

Familiar and comforting.

In the last year, they have learned a lot, learned how to love each other in the new contexts of being girlfriends.

Not a lot had to change, for they have held hands and hugged since the beginning of time.

But the new stuff, being held close together in bed during sleepovers, fitting together like puzzle pieces, and the, "I love you"s and the stolen, bashful glances from across classrooms.

The movie-esque look-back that they do after passing each other in the hallways, often accompanied by a love-struck smile.

Soft kisses exchanged whenever possible, some short and sweet, and others long and breathless.

Warm and comforting and familiar.

A new understanding of one another.

"I love you." Lilly sighs, "God, I love you, so much."

The words come out easily, Ava understands them.

They're her favorite words to hear and to say in return.

But she doesn't say them in return this time around, she kisses Lilly again.

This time, for a little while longer.

It sends the same message, the message of, "I love you, too", as well as a second message.

A message of wanting.

Lilly, clear as day, understands what Ava wants.

Long and breathless.

Bounds of love burning in Ava's heart, love that she wants to express.

Love she's expressed before, but Lilly wants to feel it again, and express it again in return.

She gets the idea to bring Ava to the spacious trunk-area of her car, where they've only recently been able to spend time together, thanks to the newly warm air of April.

It's a fairly new thing, hanging out in the back of the car.

The first time they'd ever done it was back in October, where Ava had been so enamored by the idea of a couple's Halloween costume that she couldn't sit still in the passenger seat.

In a successful attempt to help her restlessness, the door to the trunk had been popped open.

Ava had switched between sitting on the edge of the open trunk and swinging her legs back and forth, and jumping out of the car to pace back and forth on the ground, while Lilly sat back and helped brainstorm ideas, her girlfriend's infectious excitement rubbing off on her.

Though, Lilly knows that Ava isn't in the back of the car right now to discuss why angel and devil costumes wouldn't work, or to figure out which, "Skyrim" companion-slash-love interest would best suit Lilly based on Ava's vast knowledge and expert opinion on the subject matter.

She is here to love Lilly in her favorite way.

With her heart ready to explode with love, she asks Lilly if she can kiss her again.

When she receives a, "Yes", she pulls Lilly close to her and the space between them becomes nonexistent.

Lilly holds onto her, pressing the palms of her hands to her cheeks again.

One of Ava's hands rests on Lilly's cheek and the other grips onto her shirt, pulling her even closer, chest-to-chest.

It makes Lilly feel dizzy in the best way possible.

She's twirling around in the flames with the love of her life.

Around and around and around.

Though, they both take a second to get a breath of air into their lungs, where Lilly asks,

"What was that for?"

It's almost a dumb question, but dumb questions don't exist in their world, they never have.

She knows the answer, it's an expression of love, but she wants to hear Ava tell her that.

"You look really, really beautiful in the sunlight, Lilly." Ava tells her directly, "I love you."

Lilly feels giddy and happy, so very happy,

"I love you, too."

Ava pulls her in close, but this time, it's to kiss one cheek, then the other one, then her forehead once or twice for good measure.

All over her face, every inch is covered in Ava's heartfelt affection.

Lilly can't stop smiling, reveling in all of this love, even when Ava leaves a few centimeters of space between them after she's done for the time being.

She looks right at Ava, who's smiling back at her, heart thumping wildly.

The ending of the sunset peaks through the trunk's back window.

It's pale yellow hue covers Ava, reflecting in her eyes and in the lenses of her glasses.

Lilly looks at her, speechless for a moment.

In awe that they've been together for over a year.

She can barely wrap her head around that, more then three-hundred and sixty-five days spent wandering towards the fire, then jumping into it hand-and-hand.

All that they've been through to get to this point.

Ava looks at her, a new, curious expression present on her face,

"Why're you looking at me like that?"

Lilly's heart flutters like a hummingbird and she kisses Ava, quick and done on an impulse.

An odd parallel to their first kiss, done with the same amount of overflowing love, but also done for very different reasons.

The first kiss, done in a moment of temptation and a nagging voice in her mind, as well as an outside, sugar-filled pressure.

This one, the thousandth kiss, give or take, done to answer a simple question.

Done just because they can, just because she can kiss the girl who stole her heart whenever she wants to.

And Ava kisses her back, just because she loves Lilly and she loves these moments with her.

They lean back from each other, grinning like idiots, dizzy and love-drunk.

Lilly answers the question simply,

"Because I'm the luckiest person alive."

Ava pulls her in one final time for the evening, to hug her.

To hold her in a warm embrace, where they slot into each other's arms perfectly, as if the Universe made them to fit in such a way.

Warm, burning flames have never felt so wonderful.

#m’s one day at a time #avly #ava and lilly #wlw #autistic main character #this takes place during senior year for them #so their big ol’ 12th graders now #they make my happy #I’M GONNA STAY ON THIS BS FOR 2023 AS WELL BITCHES #YOU CANT ESCAPE THEM #I wrote this during my quarantining and it beautiful #I wrote the best stuff when I was paranoid and not present mentally so yay?? I guess?? Lmao

[sophswritingthings]

Luka Couffaine/Viperion x female!superhero!oc — Pulling Strings

”hey stranger,” Ava smiled as she walked onto the boat, eyes traveling to the teal-haired boy across from her. “Been a bout since ive been here, huh?”

“I’d say,” Luka replied, patting the seat beside him. Ava couldnt help but feel her cheeks flush, “you need to come over more often.”

“I really should,” she smiled, plopping herself down beside him, “whatcha up to?” She took a side glance at him, seeing the acoustic guitar sat in his lap.

“Just playing,” he replied in his usual monotone voice, oh, she loved his voice so much. It was just so comforting to her.

“Always wanted to know how to play guitar,” she murmured, gazing across the river in front of her; the sunset colored waves rocking softly, “just never had the time to learn, y’know?”

“I get that,” he replied softly. “I could always teach you.”

She glanced at him again, “i dont wanna bother you with that,” she let out a soft laugh. “Don’t worry about it,” she smiled delicately as she looked at him, the setting sun splashing shades of pink and orange onto her skin, “lets just talk about something else, yeah?..”

She could Bartlett notice the pink blush dusting across his light skin. He gestured for her to move a lil closer, which she did without a second thought. She rested her head on his shoulder, watching as the sun fell behind the city of paris.

she closed her in the soft glow of the sun, hearing the gentle plucking of strings beside her head. She sighed, comfortable as could be. She just wanted to stay like this, far from problems, far from worry.

“Hey, luka..?” She sat hee head up, “you.. r-really wouldnt mind teaching me..?”

He shook his head, “not at all,” he mumbled. She stood up, sitting herself on his leg. She could just feel herself blushing, but tried to ignore it. He placed the guitar gently in her lap, taking her hands and gently adjusting her hands, “like that.”

She delicately strummed the strings, taking a quick glance at him. She couldnt help but stare, her green eyes flicking up and down. She’d.. she’d wanted to kiss him for a while now, but.. maybe?

“Luka..?”

That made his head snap toward her, “y-yes?”

“C-could i kiss you..?”

He looked absolutely bewildered even at the question, looking to be thinking about it. He placed the guitar to the side, resting his hands lightly on her waist. She blushed even further.

“Yes,” he finally replied, “you can.”

Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She’d waited for this moment for a but now, but.. never thought that it would actually happen.

She rested her hands on either side of his face, brushing a piece of hair out of his eyes. She leaned down, experiencing a soft kiss.

She sat backwards with a bewildered look on her face, “o-oh my god,” she staggered out. “I-i.. im not asleep, are i?”

That drew a soft laugh out of him, “no, im pretty sure you’re awake,” he replied. “Unless were having the same dream?”

She laughed, “that’d be weird,” he smiled, “i like you.”

He pulled her down to now be sitting sideways in his lap, “same here,” he mumbled. “It’d be kinda weird if we didn’t.”

She hid her face in her hands, giggling, “I’d say,” she flashed him a smile. “So.. Tuesday sound good, hmmm?”

“Sounds perfect, cat.”

#miraculous fandom #miraculous lb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanworks #miraculous fanfic #luka couffaine #x oc #oneshot

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

It's been a long time comiiiing down this rooaaddd. I haven't updated this foreverrr, but I'm doing it nooooooowww! 🎤🎵🎶

Part 23: Movement

"I hope I don't have to jump up here," you sigh gripping the pole to test its sturdiness. It seems strong enough, but then so does the hardwood floor. "I don't have the upper body strength to hold myself up and I definitely don't need to bust my ass in these slippery socks--what," you smile watching Toni bite her lip at your skepticism from Ava's other side.

"Nothing. You have a lot of cushion, you'll bounce back," she gestures eyeing your rear. She's joking but you're serious.

"I'm just saying socks on hardwood with jumping if you're uncoordinated seems like a recipe for disaster."

"You get used to it, stick with us," Ava comforts. Stick with us.. It echoes in your mind. They actually want you there.. continuously.

A small group of women in variety of shapes and sizes, mostly black, gradually takes the remaining poles as the mingling conversations rise. It's a comfortable environment. The sun streams in through the windows bringing in nice natural light. Adjusting the band on your sports bra, you hop but neglect to wrap the pole with your legs. Toni chuckles in good humor.

"Ugh.. I don't know about this you guys."

"It's just a workout, girl, you'll be fine," she waves. "Besides, your NOT sugar daddy will love it when you show him all that assss in motion."

"Oh my God, he's NOT a sugar daddy," you whisper as she mocks you. "Y'all are so aggravating."

"That smile says different.. Just remember to tell me all the nasty gritty details when you throw it back with these moves. Yo' ass got handled before," her nude nails clink against the pole judgingly. They'd lost their minds when you told them about that night in the hotel. You had to tell the story twice because they wanted to visualize it. "He did whatever he wanted to do to that kitty, beat it to high hell. Now YOU are gonna have the power to put it on him. That fatass bunda gone kill him, just wait on it."

Watching your wagon in the full length studio wall mirror you grip the pole to make it wiggle watching it move on your reflection. "I don't know, see, I can move it I just can't move it seductively. I'm kinda stiff."

"She ain't ready for all that yet, Toni, let her take it slow. She can't just jump out there, class ain't even start yet," Ava laughs. "She need the basics."

"I need to learn how to dance," you interject. "Like lap dance and all that jazz.."

"That's simple," a woman's voice cuts in demanding the focus of the room of women who seem to recognize her on entry. Casually, you spin to meet a pair of long toned legs like a gazelle building up to a slender curved shape to be envied.. covered in glowing rich brown skin..

This can't be real, you blink as your mind whisks you back to the fateful day of your meeting each other. The memory is fresh as if it were yesterday.

“What’s your name,” she murmurs, voice as addictive as Erik's. You glance at him and he shrugs leaving the decision of how to respond up to you. When you answer, she recites your name like a poem and you smile. She has a calming effect that puts you at ease and she’s so, so beautiful. She tells you you’re the beautiful one and it makes your face heat. Her fingers lightly brush the warmth of your cheek before moving to her own erect nipples tweaking the silver bars.

“You wanna touch them?” She asks while stepping closer and she reaches out for your hand to pull it to her breast. Your eyes nervously flit to Erik’s and he doesn’t intervene. Not knowing quite what to do you tweak the silver bar and she sighs in pleasure. She moves your other hand to her other breast encouraging you to do the same. Her fingers find your chin again and then she’s close, lips coming in hot. You close your eyes.

Those eyes..

Her black lined cat eyes lock onto yours echoing your shock with a thick and strange energy. She's just as shook seeing you yet she never loses the graceful glide in her step to her teaching pole, glancing evenly from you and squaring her gaze to cover the class.

"Well damn," Ava blurts reading the thoughts of the room as the instructor flips her long high pony of burgundy locs. An exhale is all you muster as your brain thinks of several ways this could end badly.

"Hello my SugarDoll Fitness family," Shay waves to the group in a motion ending with her hand perched cutely nder her chin. It gains an equal positive return from the class.

Smiling just to fit in you look around and nod politely wondering what excuse you could make to Toni and Ava if you leave, especially after Ava just invited you to 'stick with' them. Would the truth suffice or would it bring more unnecessary drama and questions?

Toni and Ava would have a field day if they knew the real nature of your relationship with Erik and Ms. Shay. Last you remember, Shay's pierced nipples were in your between your fingertips. She wanted to devour you whole according to Erik. You haven't even told them you were in the BDSM life yet. They don't even know about the submission thing between you and Erik, they're still stuck on sugar daddy.. It's not something you wanted to share.

That's not something to bring up in this setting..

The way Shay looked at you back then made you feel like she was a starved tigress and you were the live prey, but somehow you were comfortable. She was intense but not intimidating... unlike Erik who initially made you so nervous you couldn't relax. No, she wasn't like that.. It felt more like she was wise beyond her years, but very playful and mischievous.. You'd liked her energy.

Then Erik went and cut her off because of his insane jealousy which was great in the sense that it was one step closer to being his only partner, but dumb in the way that it came about. It's one of his flaws. Erik needs to put his jealousy in check before he does something too impulsive to reverse or gets his feelings hurt.

If he'd never taken you to her home, they'd still have their BDSM dynamic, which brings up the issue of blame. Was it your fault? Does she blame you? Does she even care or miss the man?They seemed to pair well despite his gripes that she was troublesome.

Funny... You'd think he'd love a troublesome woman. He say he like spice and Shay had that with the experience to match, so then why choose you? Why not her over you or her and you? He could've made it work. Something about her being too dominant seems like a copout for him, looking back..

"I see some familiar faces. Faith.. Nicki.. Lynn.. Janell.." Her ruby red lips part in a smile and there's something about the simplest of her motions. Everything is a subtle demand for power.. "I see a lot of new faces too," her eyes roll down the line to yours, lingering briefly like she wants to say much more. Her eyes lower for the briefest of moments and where you anticipated malice, there seems to be none. There's something on her mind instead. 

"You good," Ava nudges your side in question. You flinch slightly but nod. There's something Shay wants to get out but she can't with everyone else present.

"I want us to get to know each other in here as women. We all have our reasons for being here.. Let's go around the room. I'll start," Shay announces with a slow walk to her right, a natural sway to her hips. "As some of you may know, my name is Shayla Berry, Shay for short aka SugarDoll. Yes, I am an exotic dancer. Yes, I am a dominatrix," her eyes roll playfully. "I also paint by trade and teach pole fitness. I am a multifaceted business woman with a flare for the artistic," her black painted fingers flare. "I meditated on having my own successful studio and then I manifested it to reality when I rented this place a few months ago and baby when I tell you the law of attraction works, I am flourishing."

She gestures to her right and the introductions begin from the repeat students as well as the new. There's a teacher and a nurse present. Everyone's common goal seems to boil down to exploring their sensuality while having fun with dance and getting in a good workout.  Then there's Toni. She's a traveler, which you knew. She likes to shop and eat. What you didn't know was that she is also a pilot and works 100 hours a week max. As for Ava, you knew she was originally from the ATL and lived a sugar baby life, but you did not know that she was raised amongst strippers and that she's also an audiologist. She had to explain to the class what an audiologist was.

"And you?" Shay's fiery eyes focus in as she takes a half step towards you.

"Y/N," you say as if she doesn't already know. She knows more than Toni and Ava, she saw your whole coochie for the sake of giving you a biology lesson. Embarrassing.. "I'm from Cali.. born and raised. I don't travel that often, but I'd love to go to Europe.. I love movies, it's really all I do.. watch movies, sleep, and work.. I work in cybersecurity."

"You prevent hackers?" Ava's neck cranes and you nod as she gives a look of approval.

"This is probably messed up," you pause as she and Toni both look up, "But I don't know why I assumed you two were spending men's money in the mall when we met," you whisper feeling superficial. Just because they're universally gorgeous like celebrities doesn't mean they aren't successful outside of that and able to afford the finer things on their own accord. You can do both.

"..We were," Ava shrugs simply. "My money stay in my savings.. I haven't paid a bill with my own money in two years."

"Work smarter not harder babe," Toni smirks. "You oughtta know."

"That's just it, I don't know because that's not something I've experienced because Erik and I are friends with benefits..," you sigh. "A lot of benefits..."

When introductions wrap up, the lesson starts and Shay jumps right into it with terminology foreign to you.

"This is a mixed pole fitness class.. So go ahead and face your poles, we're going to start with some body rolls. Hands low on the pole like so," she demonstrates. "Roll it out." Her body waves in a fluid S motion. "Chest, abs, hips... Chest, abs, hips.. Let it roll, smoothly down to the floor and up. Y/N, get on your tiptoes, baby. Lexi, get your arms involved. Stick that ass out, don't be scared.. Perfect. I'm watching all of y'all," she says pointedly. "..Again."

You watch and try your best to duplicate, your S moreso a stiff Z and she switches her hand position to the top of her pole.

"Now we're gonna walk around and this helps loosen the joints. Think tight and tall as you stride around the pole on those toes. I don't want any flat feet. Keep on your imaginary heels, Y/N," he blinks your way. "Now stop on the side and circle those hips." Her hips rotate as though they're on a swivel.

When you look to Toni and Ava, they're already moving like pros which tells you they do this often. They travel together, shop together, share life, and take classes like this together. They're already extremely close. It's surprising they'd think to invite you into their circle..

"Outside arm and leg sweeps back, across the floor, sweep out and back."

"Like you're swimming," someone adds.

"Exactly, like you're swimming. Next move, grab that knee, pull it up and out, soft hands, open that chest, roll it back... same leg flick the toe and kick forward."

"I can't go that high," the same woman from before says."

"That's fine, go to where you're comfortable. Lunge back same leg.. and we're going to repeat the process with the other leg."

The routine goes on minutes more until she gets to a pirouette which is a more familiar term. Unfortunately, that's followed by slow pushups which, of course, doesn't happen. Toni uses her knees, but Ava does the full set of pushups. She's the only one.

"Showoff," Toni mutters.

The next moves require a lot of knee pivoting and borderline twerking in slow motion. You feel the workout in your thighs, your knees, your abs, and your back. It's only been fifteen minutes out of the hour and you're stopping for water. Some of the motions have been easy to grasp, but some have been frustrating. It's only my first time, you remind yourself.

Thirty minutes in, you've developed an idea of how to move and what to incorporate into your sex life.. when it revives. Putting the moves together into a routine is the current issue.

"I could do some of this," you say to Ava. "I just wish I could borrow some of your core strength."

"You'll get it with time, stay consistent. I'm holding you to it."

"Y/N," Shay calls out as she body rolls and raises her leg high. "What's this about you not knowing how to dance, mama?"

"Huh," I pause standing straight. She remembered. "Well I can dance. I can do the nae nae and the little tiktok dances, but this..," I gesture to the pole. "This is a different story. I guess I'm not the seductive type."

"Have you ever had sex?"

The question cuts and you feel all eyes glued on you. She must know that you and Erik have already.. on multiple occasions...

"....Of course."

"Then... you're the seductive type," she says simply. "Dance is a style of communication. It's about movement and seduction." She comes close and her finger gently snakes your collarbone as she circles you, standing directly behind, her slim hands on your waist.

"We really need to talk.. later," she whispers quietly in your ear. Her hips line up with yours, her center against your ass, and she winds. "If you can walk, you can dance, Y/N. If you can dance, the seduction is that much easier.." This time her words are addressed to the class. Her hips guide yours against the pole as she grinds against it through you. "Follow my rhythm."

You move exactly as you feel her move, in a groove, and after a few moments when you've perfected the body roll she backs up. When you do it on your own in the mirror, you have the S shape down pact.

"That's it, I'm coming back," you smile at the pole. At the end of class you're sore and tired but excited to have picked up some tricks. Meeting Shay's eye, you excuse yourself briefly from Ava and Tony with the excuse of asking about her paintings. "Shay," you whisper once you're close and she leads you out of the space.. far.. all the way outside before she looks around. There's no one standing out nearby, only well groomed trees and sidewalk with some grass and a parking lot.

"How have you been," is the first thing she asks as if she's truly concerned. Her eyes convey a lot.

"Why?.. I'm good," you stare echoing her strange expression. She's having a tough time saying what she wants to say.. she's pausing a lot, hesitating.

"Shay, what's wrong.. I get the feeling you want to tell me something but you're conflicted. I swear I won't run tell Erik.. whatever it is.."

"You're still with him," her brows rise in shock. "Okay so he was serious.. Did he ever mention.. anything about, um.. our last meeting together?"

"You guys had sex one last time, I know about it."

She takes a deep unsteady breath and instantly I know there's more to the story than what he said. She looks around again as if she's nervous.

"He didn't mention anything about.. himself?... As far as what he does...?"

"Hm? Well, yeah, he told me he does the video game thing. We just went to Texas-"

"That's-," she pauses with her mouth wide as if she's deeply confused. "Um.. you know what. Just... be careful okay? Take care of yourself."

"What?" Of all the random things to say. "What are you talking about? Wait," you grab her shoulder as she's walking off. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something about him and I wish you'd just spit it out.."

"Well look at you, definitely got bolder," her eyes flick up and down you. "Actually, it's nothing.. I just wanted to check on you.. make sure you were doing alright, that's all," she smiles, but it doesn't touch her eyes. "I'm going back inside to make sure no one has any further questions for me."

Letting her go, you watch her and something doesn't sit right. She wasn't telling you something and you don't know what that something is, but it's making your mind spin. Ava and Toni come out and walk toward you.

"She showed me one of the paintings in her car," you lie though you're not sure why, it just comes out and they accept it moving on. They have plans to get massages and you're invited there too. The three of you get the full body massage and it's relaxing after all that exercise. When you finally leave them and get to Erik's you OD on water, eat, shower, and watch TV upstairs until you pass out sleep.

The next day, they contact you on your lunch break and actually meet you for brunch, happy to see where you work. You have to apologize to Tanner for canceling lunch plans with him. He's so used to eating with you and vice versa. You've gotten used to looking into his pretty blue eyes. At least he gets to meet Toni and Ava briefly and they call him white chocolate which he eats up. You throw subliminals that maybe he and Toni should hook up but neither seem truly interested outside of surface good- natured flirting.

The following day after work is the beach. The three of you sunbathe while sharing stories about family and teen years. "This is the life," you jest laid back on your towel with your sunglasses on feeling warm and toasty. "I've been missing this. I need to meet more people to do things like this with, I get tired of sitting home alone."

"Aww. I don't wanna leave you here by yourself. I wish we didn't have to leave Cali or maybe you could come south with us," Toni says, but it's not realistic. They can afford to travel all the time but you have to work. When they do leave, you see them off.

-----

"I asked for chocolate," Erik grumbled laid out in his hospital bed six weeks into bed rest. They'd given him vanilla snack pack and he hated vanilla.

"Here you go," his nurse teased, used to his temper. "Stubborn ass.. I will personally bring you your chocolate pudding."

"Two.. and take this nasty one with you," he hudged it toward her. She laughed. 

"Baby you can eat all the chocolate pudding you want when you up outta here. You finally got the go ahead as long as you stay the fuck off that damn leg.. Don't kiss your teeth, you've been doing everything short of p90x up in here."

"I wasn't on my leg though, those were upper body workouts.."

"You still need to relax."

"Hell yeah.. soon as I get my pudding.."

She shook her head, amused. Erik knew that once he left she'd think of him still. She was pretty nice though, so maybe he'd think of her too.. just maybe. He thought of telling her the truth before leaving... Perhaps he'd be there if she ever needed someone permanently removed from her life at a discounted rate..

@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens   @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @cccccx1   @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #black panther fanfiction #house rules

[quietblueriver]

More BTVS AU. In which the crew convenes to discuss some demons.

Pt. V in this universe. Find the others here.

Nothing much happening here plot-wise, just attempts to get myself writing with fun AU time.

-

There is slime on her sweater. Brown and thick and foul, crusting into something even worse. There will absolutely be a stain, and, as the odor burns at her nostrils, she ponders whether it’s even worth attempting to save the fabric. Maybe Shannon will know a spell that can help. She doesn’t have to worry about the cost of ruined clothing, but she doesn’t like being wasteful. 

Camila, whose wide eyes are working their way down a shelf of crystals, shifts closer, and Beatrice moves to her right, her body rigid in her attempt to avoid contaminating any of the furniture or merchandise or beings in the back half of Cat’s Cradle. 

Her gaze catches on Mary and Shannon in the corner, Shannon sitting on the stairs in the gray sweatpants and white t-shirt she’d answered the door in, her hair having been maneuvered from its sleep-mussed state into a neat low bun. She’d been bleary when they’d knocked at her apartment above the magic shop, but as usual, she’d come without complaint, putting on coffee and giving Camila a book and a suggestion for beginner crystal work before settling on the stairs, Mary close behind.

She laughs as her head tilts up toward Mary, who is leaning against the bannister in her near-uniform black jeans and black hoodie, head ducked and a pleased smile on her face. It’s an expression that appears more and more often around Shannon, whose own cheeks color with a blush as Mary says something to make her laugh harder. 

There’s movement behind her, and a moment later, the smell of Ava–undertones of the cedar deodorant she likes to wear mixed with artificial sweetener and a baseline that is, simply, her. 

She can’t pull apart the pieces, but she knows her, could identify her blindfolded, easily and with certainty. It’s one of the many strange pieces of slayerhood, learning those around her through heightened senses, footsteps and smells and breathing patterns. Heartbeats, if she’s close enough. 

She’s reminded of the wine tastings that her godmother loved to host, her parents and a gaggle of other people important enough to warrant an invitation sitting around the table at a house in the countryside while Beatrice read in the corner. Even at seven, she was fairly certain that the adults were, as Ava might put it, full of shit when they talked about notes of pepper and blackberry and citrus, their lips staining red over the course of the afternoon as the poor sommelier on hire for the day opened bottle after bottle. 

A strand of red licorice hangs from Ava’s mouth as she steps up next to Beatrice, apparently undeterred by the scent of the gunk that the bug-like demon had managed to spew at Beatrice before Ava drove a sword through its heart. She herself had remained, somehow, unsullied by its attack, her cropped black tank and high-waisted jeans suffering only a grass stain during one of her dives. She had frowned at the green marks, pouting as the demon charged and stepping out of the way with a nonchalance that made Beatrice’s heart pound with worry. 

Now, she chews loudly and says, mouth still full of cherry-flavored plastic, “They’re cute, huh?” 

Beatrice lets her lips pull up, briefly, as Shannon laughs again, hums her agreement. They are cute, and Beatrice, contrary to popular opinion, isn’t so much of a wet blanket that she can’t acknowledge it. Of course, she also adds, compulsively, “Don’t speak with your mouth full.” 

Ava snorts, entirely inelegant and still somehow distractingly beautiful, and puts a hand to shove at Beatrice’s shoulder, making contact before Beatrice can warn her away. It’s her own fault, really. It’s not as though the goo is subtle, but Beatrice apologizes anyway, wincing and stepping further from Ava, who’s shaking her hand in the air in disgust. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ava shudders as she brings her hand closer to her face, pulls out the remaining stem of licorice with a grimace, having found her limit. Beatrice is somewhat concerned that it had taken this long.

“Ugh, Jesus, Bea. I knew you smelled but like, gross.” 

Beatrice blushes, crosses her arms. It’s true, but that doesn’t mean she wants to hear Ava say it. 

“Yes, thank you. I’m aware. I would like to point out that if you hadn’t been so distracted by the grass stain on your pants, you might have been able to stab him before he regurgitated,” she looks down at her torso, frowns, “whatever this is all over me.” 

The bell to the shop dings then, and Superion enters with Lilith trailing behind, both dressed in neatly pressed gray slacks and dress shirts, a white blouse for Superion, a navy button-down for Lilith. Appraising eyes take stock and their frowns deepen, one side of Lilith’s upper lip lifting in clear disgust as she steps closer and then stops, apparently having entered the radius of the smell. 

“You get used to it after a few minutes.” 

Camila’s beside her then, smiling as she lies, and Beatrice notes the shift in Lilith’s posture, the softening of her expression as she says, unnecessarily and with wandering, avoidant eyes, “Right. Good then. Thank you.” When she finally looks back at them, her mouth is twisted slightly, and her shoulders are tighter than they normally are, which is to say, incredibly tight. Interesting. 

Ava’s elbow makes unsubtle contact with her ribcage and Beatrice isn’t proud of the satisfaction that swoops through her at the noise that follows, a kind of yelp of disgust and despair as Ava’s skin becomes further contaminated by the sludge. 

It’s harmless, used by the cockroach creature to immobilize or track prey during a hunt. The bigger concern is that they tend to move in packs, and someone had, just after Ava and Beatrice engaged the first of the creatures, called into emergency services about gigantic bugs near the elementary school. Superion, with assistance from software tweaked by Camila, tracks those kinds of calls and had sent both of them notice to convene at Cat’s Cradle to strategize after they dispatched with their target. 

Camila, of course, did not charge for her services but did track the calls, and she and Mary had been waiting for them by the stairway to Shannon’s apartment, shrugging at Beatrice’s raised brow and providing as explanation, “It’s only 10pm, Beatrice. It’s Friday. We’re bored.” 

Superion makes her way with purpose toward the table in the back of the store, and they all follow, everyone giving Beatrice and Ava as wide a berth as possible. She pulls a book from the back shelf and opens to a page near the back, places the text in the center of the table so that they can all see the illustration on the yellowed page, a six-legged demon with gigantic wings (used as shields, thank goodness) and beady eyes, small head with a wide mouth. The next page shows the demon in an upright position, making the sword-like nature of its upper four legs apparent, and next to that is a sketch of a dark puddle, a paragraph description underneath. 

“Blattaria demon,” Mary reads. 

“Yes.” Superion shifts her eyes between Ava and Beatrice, lips pursed. She does not acknowledge the others, but she has come to accept, at this point, their involvement and speaks freely in front of them. “If our information is correct, there will be at least a dozen by the school. We’ll need to move quickly.” 

Ava bounces next to her, a new strand of licorice having been produced from somewhere. She is living with the smell, then. Beatrice envies her. 

“What’s the plan, boss?”

Superion gazes at Ava, a flash of something like regret passing over her as she says, almost a sigh, a concession, “The most efficient way to get rid of them is with fire.” 

A grin spreads slowly over Ava’s face as she takes a last bite of her candy, swallowing before turning to Bea.

“Sweet.”

#warrior nun #warrior nun fic #avatrice #sister beatrice #ava silva #sister camila #sister lilith #btvs au

[slafkovskys]

somewhere along the lines / t. zegras

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

my masterlist!

title from it ain’t me by kygo ft selena gomez

-

you had missed bedford, that was not something that you could lie about. it was your hometown, where you’d grown up, had met almost every person that you knew. it would never be anaheim and that was a fact.

another thing about bedford, despite everyone saying that it was quiet and safe and cozy, there were almost no secrets. shortly after you had arrived back in town, word seemed to spread like wildfire when you’d come home just barely three months after you had fled to california, following after trevor.

now, five days later, your son was tucked away with your mother in your childhood home and your car was pulling into a spot beside trevor’s that he had decided to keep at his parent's house when he left for the season. you could see him inside, his back to you at a table in the corner with his head down, hat covering his likely unruly hair.

you almost pull away, hand reaching to shift your car from park to reverse, but you stop yourself. he deserved an explanation just as much as you deserved closure.

you grab your bag from the passenger seat and open the car door, planting your sneaker-clad feet on the ground. you cross your arms over your chest, the new york chill wrapping around you as you quickly make your way towards the entrance.

walking into the cafe, the man behind the counter smiles at you. you walk up with the same grin and order the same thing you used to when you were in high school. you pay and nod when he tells you that it would take a few minutes, grabbing the number he hands you. you turn and find trevor already staring.

you tuck your bottom lip under your teeth and take a deep breath before walking over. you sit your bag in the chair beside you and stick your number in the holder before sitting down, “hi trevor.”

“why did you do it?” his scratchy voice asks, immediately jumping to the point, “why did you leave me?”

-

it was earth-shattering. heart-stopping. enough to send a round of cold chills down your body.

you were staring at the test with an emotionless face while the single word was staring right back at you, pregnant. you were barely seventeen then, still so young and planning on starting college applications soon. there was so much that you didn’t know and you were much too young to be responsible for someone else, you thought.

you didn’t cry. you wanted to, but the tears just wouldn’t come. instead, you put the test back into its box and shove it back into the bag before walking out of the drug store and to your car. you could feel the eyes of the cashier following you. she was the same one who used to place your animal crackers in front of you when you were four and now, thirteen years later, she was watching the aftermath of the pregnancy test that she had just sold you.

it was still early, the sky was dark and the atmosphere was glum. as you drove yourself to school. you stopped for some breakfast, so you wouldn’t have been telling your mother a complete lie as to why you had to leave so early, before parking in the same spot that you had been since you first got your license.

the brown paper bag that held your food was almost taunting. fifteen minutes ago you would have killed for what was inside, but now your stomach was so twisted that you didn’t even want to look at it. you sat in your car taking sips of your water before you grab your backpack and the brown bag and trudge inside.

you were six weeks into your senior year at that point and things were great. everything was great, your grades, your friends, your life. nothing had needed changing right then.

you walked into your first class of four that you had every day. your usual spot was open and angela, your designated partner, already occupied the seat beside it. she smiles when she sees you and holds up a hand, signaling that she had something to tell you, “first, you would not believe what happened last night. and second, what’s in the bag?”

“it’s got bacon and egg on it, so you wouldn’t like it,” you shake your head as you pull out your chair. you set the bag alongside your backpack on the tabletop before dropping down in the seat. “what happened last night?”

“so-” she’s interrupted by a loud noise.

you both look towards the door and watch as griffin strolls through, a big smile on his face. he heads directly for you and gestures to the bag. you wave your hand, “you can have it.”

“sweet!” he says, taking the bag off your table and placing it on his which was directly beside your own. he had wasted no time in devouring the sandwich, eating so fast you weren’t even sure he had time to taste it. he looks back at you after reaching for his water, “do you have a pencil i can borrow? i’ll give it back.”

“no you won’t,” you shake your head and hand him your backpack, not feeling like rooting through for a pencil you knew you weren’t going to need because you were supposed to be doing essays today. you focus your attention back on angela, “i’m sorry. what were you saying?”

to you, the matter wasn’t that interesting. angela had been talking to some guy who went to syracuse and had said that he could get you into some party that weekend, but, to be honest, getting into a college party was dead last on your list of pressing matters.

the morning seemed to drag on forever and when it finally reached noon, you were rushing towards the doors so that you could make a phone call to your doctor’s office to schedule an appointment to confirm that you were indeed pregnant.

you were walking down the hallway when a call of your name stops you in your tracks. you turn and find griffin jogging towards you and he throws an arm around your shoulder, walking you towards the door, “what’s-”

“i, um, i saw the box in your bag when i grabbed a pencil this morning,” he says, lowering his voice so that no one would hear him. you stop in your tracks, but he keeps you moving, “no, don’t look weird. i’m not mad or anything. it’s really none of my business, but have you, like, confirmed it or whatever.”

“i’m going to when i leave here,” is all you can say. your heart was pounding so loudly you could hear it and you were almost positive that griffin could as well.

“ok. come over for dinner and we can talk about it. mom’s gonna make your favorite,” he stops in front of the door, the look on his face telling you that he would not be taking no for an answer. you swallow before nodding, “okay?”

“okay.”

you knew within a couple of hours after leaving griffin in the hallway that the test was correct, you were due to have a child soon. even as you stared at the paper with the test results, you still couldn’t find it in you to cry.

after dinner, spaghetti with homemade meatballs, griffin quickly rushed you to his bedroom, warding off ava who was trying to wrangle you into her bedroom to watch some movie that no one else wanted to watch. you take refuge on his bed, grabbing a pillow and shielding your stomach with it. griffin takes notice and he sighs, collapsing beside you, “so, we’re having a baby.”

“we are not. i’m having a baby,” you mumble in hopes that no one would hear the two of you, “i think. i don’t fucking know. i’ve got to tell the dad at some point-”

“you don’t have to act like i don’t know, y/n,” he looks up at the ceiling. you gulp and he grins, “i’m not oblivious. i know that you and trevor hooked up over the summer. is it his?”

your silence gives him his answer. it’s quiet for a few minutes before you speak up, “i didn’t mean to get pregnant. i swear.”

“i believe you, y/n. i’m not mad at you about hooking up with my brother or being pregnant. it’s weird, sure, but i’m not mad,” he assures and you nod, pulling at the sleeves of your shirt. “are you going to tell him?”

“i don’t even know if i’m going to-” you trail off and he nods in understanding. “i just- i want time to figure things out. that’s all i want right now. please don’t tell him or anyone. besides my doctor and the woman at the drug store, you’re the only person who knows.”

“this is not my secret to share.”

-

you honestly tried to tell him. you typed out the four short words that should have kickstarted the rest of your life: we need to talk, but you could never follow through with sending them. you would see his snapchat stories and instagram posts every now and then, having fun and living life in massachusetts while you were back in new york, pregnant with his child that he knew nothing about.

he was doing all right without you and you were getting along just fine without him.

as wrong as it was, it was easy to hide from him. he didn’t come home often and you had no reason to be in boston, so when he was around, you just made sure that you weren’t. your son was born in february while trevor was still at college. when he unexpectedly came home in march, it was even easier to keep it from him because you weren’t supposed to be going anywhere.

griffin had done well in keeping his promise. he only slipped and told one person, his mother, and you really couldn’t blame him. one simply did not keep a secret from julie zegras.

she wasn’t mad, just disappointed that you were trying to keep it a secret which you understood, and fell into the role of being a grandmother quite easily. after you had given birth with your mother by your side, she had come to meet her grandson. her finger rubbed over his cheek as she sat across from you.

“he looks just like him,” she muttered, “he’s going to know, y/n.”

and he did.

as much as you wanted to, there was absolutely no denying that landon was trevor’s son. griffin had thought the same thing when he saw him for the first time and gave you a look that told you as much, to which you responded with a whispered “please don’t.”

as the months continued to pass and summer quickly arrived in bedford, you still hadn’t uttered a word to trevor. he didn’t reach out to you and you worked overtime to avoid him. the more that landon grew, the easier it was beginning to be for those who didn’t already know to start to piece two and two together, which only increased the likelihood of trevor finding out significantly.

you had barely had time to put your car in park before julie was rushing out of the front door. she opens the door to the backseat and makes a pleased noise, “good. he’s awake.”

you open your door and watch as she gets the car seat out. you grab your bag and follow her inside, “he wanted to see his favorite person.”

“who? me?” griffin rounds the corner and walks into the kitchen just as julie sits the car seat on top of the counter. griffin waves his fingers at the baby, “hi buddy. did you miss me?”

landon makes a noise like he’s about to cry and you and julie share a look before bursting into laughter. julie undoes the clips and pulls him out, resting him on her hip as she fixes the little hair that he had atop his head, “don’t take it personally, griffin.”

“he cries every time he sees me. it’s a little hard not to,” he scoffs before looking at you, “guess what?”

“what? has using my child finally gotten you a date?” you tease, taking a seat at the island and crossing your arms over your chest.

“no. he’s got the potential to be an excellent wingman, but for some strange reason, seventeen-year-old girls don’t really like babies. you don’t count. you’re eighteen now and he’s your son. you have to like him,” he points an accusatory finger at you when you open your mouth to speak. you raise your hands in surrender, letting your eyes wander over to where julie was showing landon the magnets on the fridge. “anyway, we got landon a pool. minor issue though, louie kind of thinks that it’s for him because that’s what we had to tell trevor.”

“like a kiddie pool?” you ask and griffin clicks his tongue. you raise an eyebrow, sparing a glance towards your son when he squeals, “you know he’s not even five months old yet, right?”

“he can sit in it and splash around though. he loves doing that. i’ve bathed him before and it’s got to be his top three favorite activities along with eating and screaming at me,” griffin rolls his eyes and you smirk.

“i mean, he doesn’t have any of those swim diaper things-”

“and that’s exactly why we bought him some. don’t even try to argue with me right now, y/n. he is getting into the damn pool,” griffin argues and julie reaches over to smack him on the back of the head. “sorry, but you get my point.”

“i guess i do,” you stretch your arms before standing up. “let me go and change him.”

“i hid the diapers in the back of my closet,” you send griffin a questioning look. he shrugs, “i’m running out of places to hide baby things okay.”

you swallow thickly as a quietness takes over the room. you knew that you were asking a lot of them to keep such a big secret from their son and brother and that weighed heavily on you.

the silence is broken by landon who sputters and you grin as you take him from julie. you tickle his side and he giggles, “are you blowing bubbles, buddy? you’re so cool.”

he rests his head on your shoulder as you walk towards griffin’s room. his fingers curl in your shirt as he takes a deep breath. you find the diapers exactly where griffin had said they would be (along with what you were sure was going to be your birthday present and a few other questionable items) and lay landon down on griffin’s bed.

louie had slipped in behind you and had easily jumped on griffin’s bed as well, planting himself beside the four-month-old. his wet nose touches landon’s temple and he squeals in response. you push louie back gently, “careful, lou. i know he’s your person but you can’t be smelling him like that. it freaks him out.”

louie huffs but lays his head down regardless, watching you carefully. you take him out of his outfit and change his diaper for one of the swim ones. you blow a raspberry on his stomach and he grabs at your hair, “are you so excited to get in your pool?”

you heard some conversation coming from the kitchen and some footsteps heading towards where you were. you pick landon up, assuming that it was ava or griffin, and pat at louie’s head when he walks up to you. the door opens and you don’t turn around as you speak, “honestly griffin, if it’s any consolation, i think he dislikes louie as much as he dislikes you.”

when there’s no response, you turn around to find that it wasn’t griffin who was standing at the door. trevor’s eyes are almost blazing as he looks between you and landon, connecting the dots. you wrap your arm tighter around your son, “he’s not yours.”

“bullshit,” trevor booms and you look away. “if it’s not mine, whose is it then?”

“i-” you can’t even formulate a sentence and he scoffs.

“that’s what i thought,” he shakes his head and scoffs. you avoid his eyes, “when?”

“if we’re going to talk about this, can we please not do it in front of him,” you pull your son’s head into your shoulder, trying to shield him from the view of his father who was rightfully angry with you. “griffin was going to put him in the pool. let me take him out there and then you can go off on me.”

silently, he steps aside to let you walk back into the kitchen. julie and griffin are sharing the same nervous look as you round the corner. ava makes the unfortunate decision to come down the stairs at that point. “what’s going- uh-oh.”

“my god, is there anyone in this house that didn’t know besides me?” everyone’s silence gives him the answer to his question. “great, okay. the fucking dog knew before i did.”

“trevor-” julie starts and you shake your head.

you hand landon off to griffin who has a bottle of baby sunscreen in front of him. you rub at landon’s soft cheek as he looks at you curiously, knowing that your mood was off. you don’t look at griffin as you speak, “take pictures for me, yeah? he loves water.”

“of course,” griffin says before getting everyone to follow him outside. ava sends you a look and julie mouths an apology before the doors close and you’re left alone with trevor for — what you come to realize — is the first time in a year.

still not speaking to you, he starts up the stairs to his bedroom and you follow behind, shutting the door behind you. you stand there awkwardly, playing with your fingers as you look around. it hadn’t changed since the last time you had been in it, which was the night that you were almost certain you got pregnant.

he turns and looks at you, gesturing to his bed, “you can sit down. you’re not a stranger here.”

you know that it wasn’t meant to be a reference to what you two used to do, but your cheeks still burn as you sit on the edge of his bed. you look at him then, only to find him already staring at you. you shrug your shoulders, “what do you want to know?”

“it’s mine?” he asks again and you nod.

“he’s a boy, so please stop saying ‘it.’ call him landon if you want.”

“you always wanted a boy,” trevor mumbles and you couldn’t help but grin because it was true. ever since you were little you had said time and time again that you wanted at least one boy and even though he came earlier in your life than you had planned, you were grateful that he had. “when were you gonna tell me about him?”

“honestly, trev, never,” you say and he lets out a long breath. he takes a seat at his desk chair and rubs his hands over his face, “i thought that it was for the best-”

“keeping my son from me was what you thought was best?” he looks at you incredulously. “are you serious?”

“if you’re going to shout at me, i’m leaving. i understand that you’re upset and you have every right to be, but i’m not going to sit here and be yelled at,” you announce and he mumbles an apology under his breath. “be honest with me, trevor. are you ready to be a father right now? with everything going on in your life, are you ready for that responsibility at nineteen?”

he seems to think about it, “not really.”

“okay then. our problem is solved,” you shrug.

“y/n, i want my son to know me. he needs his dad.”

“you just said that you weren’t ready to be his dad, trevor. what’s the truth? because i’m not going to have you be in and out of his life whenever you pick and choose. that’s not good or stable for him. he’s four months old, what he needs is stability,” you never thought that at eighteen years old, you would be having a conversation about what was in the best interest of your child, but here you were.

“were you ready to be a mother at eighteen? no, but you got ready to be one. i can do it too if you’ll just let me,” he rolls his chair over in front of you and reaches for your hand. his hand was warm and so were his eyes as you looked into them, searching for any hint of untruthfulness.

you had known trevor and griffin since you were all babies, you in the middle age-wise given that trevor was a year older than you and griffin almost a year younger. you had grown up neighbors and while you had moved a few miles away, your friendship remained. you had grown closer with griffin rather than trevor because as he had gotten older and his talent showed more and more, he was gone more.

“do you want to meet him?” is your rebuttal and trevor wastes no time in nodding his head. he pushes himself away from you which allows you to stand and walk towards his door. “just be aware he doesn’t really care for strangers. he’s still warming up to griffin.”

he follows you down the stairs and out onto the back porch. julie and griffin are there along with louie who is staring curiously at landon. griffin looks at you and smirks, “he doesn’t understand why he’s having to share the pool.”

“he’s greedy,” you shake your head before squatting down beside your son. you grin at him as he splashed his hand in the water, “hi bubba. there’s someone i want you to meet.”

he makes a shrill noise as you pick him up. you accept a towel from julie to dry him off as you walk over to where trevor had taken a seat on the bench. you sit beside him, adjusting landon’s hat on his head, “landon, this is trevor. trevor, this is landon.”

“hi,” trevor says, the biggest grin that you had ever seen taking over his face. landon looks between you and trevor before flailing his arm around. trevor looks at you uncertainly, “could i hold him?”

“of course,” you grin. you carefully hand landon over, holding your breath for his reaction. trevor stands him up on his legs, bouncing him just slightly. landon starts to pout and you frown, “he’s-”

“hey landon,” trevor says quietly and landon tilts his head. his hand squeezes the bracelet on trevor’s wrist. he starts to move his legs and trevor looks at you confused.

“he likes you, i think. strangers don’t usually make it this far,” you shrug your shoulders.

“that’s good then,” he smiles. landon lurches forward and he’s quick to steady him. “he looks just like me.”

“you are his dad, trev,” you look at trevor to gauge his reaction. you can hear julie when she takes a deep breath griffin laugh, but you focus on trevor.

“yeah, i am,” trevor laughs. to your surprise, landon lays his head on trevor’s shoulder and trevor looks at you again, “i think he likes me.”

griffin doesn’t miss a beat before chiming in, “well that’s just not fucking fair. i’ve known him longer than you!”

-

the anaheim conversation wasn’t one that you could avoid. it’s not that you were trying to, of course, it’s just that in the two weeks since trevor had known about his son, he had been solely focused on learning him and letting landon get acclimated to him being around, which the five-month-old had done quickly.

“so,” trevor asks one day as landon lays on his chest, knocked out for his afternoon nap. you had warned trevor about letting landon fall asleep on him, but trevor didn’t seem to mind being glued to one place for a couple of hours. “what about college? where are you going?”

“nowhere yet,” you sigh, turning your attention away from the movie that was playing, “i’m taking some time off so that i can raise him. i know that if i started now, i wouldn’t be able to focus and give him the attention that he needs.”

“that’s responsible,” he makes a face.

“i had to grow up fast, trevor. it’s not just me that my decisions affect now. i have to make the decisions that i think are best for him in the long run,” you stare at your son curled on his father’s chest. his fingers gripped the fabric of trevor’s t-shirt as a pacifier bobbed between his lips.

“well, i’ve been thinking and i want to get your opinion on something,” he was nervous, you could tell. his hand rubs up landon’s back as he looks towards you, “i- well, i know that two weeks ago i didn’t even know that he existed, but now i can’t imagine not being with him.”

“well he’s your son trevor,” you curl your toes into his thigh under the blanket you were sharing, “that’s normal.”

“i know that, but i don’t want to be away from him. what i’m asking is, would you be willing to come to anaheim with me when i go? whenever that may be,” he chuckles as landon twitches in his sleep.

“you want him to go with you? trevor i can’t-”

“no, no,” trevor shakes his head, “i want him to come with me of course, but i want you to come, too. i want you both with me. we can be together, a family.”

“a family?” you repeat and he grins, confirming with a nod. “are you sure?”

“i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, y/n. i want to have a life with you,” the hand that rested on landon’s back moves and reaches out towards you. you grab onto his hand and he squeezes, “what do you think?”

“i think that sounds amazing.”

and for a while it did.

both your mother and trevor’s were hesitant given how young you both were, but they slowly came to terms when they figured out neither of you were changing your minds.

you made it to anaheim a few weeks after trevor had and began to settle into the apartment he had gotten for the two of you. it was in a safe place and it had paths to take landon on walks which were at the top of the list that you had given him.

landon loved going down to the beach and letting the sand fall through his fingers. your heart swelled every time he would pick some up and look at you like it was the most amazing thing in the world, which to him it probably was.

your time was mostly spent with landon alone which you couldn’t be upset about because a major part of trevor’s job was to travel, but when he started spending his nights elsewhere when he wasn’t gone on a road trip, that’s when things started falling apart.

you didn’t want to be the partner who asked him where he going every time that he left out of the front door, but when you had to watch him get ready for the third night in a row, that’s when you spoke up, “where are you going?”

“out,” was his response. he pulls out a jacket from the closet and turned to look at you, “why?”

“because you’ve been home for four days and you’ve gone out every night, trevor,” you lean against the doorway as he slips on his shoes. “i shouldn’t have to ask you to stay home and see your son.”

“he’s asleep, y/n. he’s not even going to notice that i’m gone,” he shakes his head and you let him leave the bedroom before following him down the hall. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

“it is when you don’t come back until the morning and you leave before he wakes up. then you come back during his nap and only see him for a few hours before you’re gone again,” your eyes follow his fingers as they grab his keys from the hook. he pulls open the door and you utter the words that make your stomach twist, “i promise you, if you walk out of that door, i’m not going to be here when you get back.”

he gives you his attention then and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he was thinking about it, whether you were serious or not, but not a moment later does he shake his head and let the door close behind him, letting you know his decision.

you could hear his car door slam before he starts the engine, pulling out of the driveway to wherever the hell he would rather spend his time. you stand there frozen as your world crumbles around you. you feel the tears well up in your eyes and you wipe them away.

he wasn’t worth it.

you grab your phone, dialing your mother’s number and leaning against the couch for stability. she answers almost immediately and you feel bad because you still had not adjusted to the time difference between the east and west coasts, “can i come home for a little bit?”

“what happened?” you hear her rustling in the background.

“i’m just- i’m tired mom. i don’t want to be here anymore and i’m sure he doesn’t want us here either,” you leave out the major details, knowing what it would do to her. you really were not in the mood to hear her tell you that she was right.

“let me catch a flight out there and i’ll drive back with you, okay?”

“i need to leave now, mom. i don’t want to be here when he gets back,” you explain, and after much back and forth and though apprehensively, she agrees not to book a flight.

you don’t feel anything as you pack your bag, careful not to mess with trevor’s things. it’s when you walk into landon’s room and find him sleeping so peacefully, so unaware of what was happening in his little world that you let the tears fall down your face. you pack your car before you get him out of his crib, making sure to grab his favorite stuffed animal and blanket before closing the door behind you. you walk through the kitchen making sure that you had what you needed before walking out of the front door for the last time.

you didn’t leave a note, your key and a pacifier on the kitchen counter was the only goodbye that he would get from you.

you were thankful that landon was a heavy sleeper. he barely stirred as you buckled him into his car seat or shut the door. you put in your mother’s home address before putting your car in reverse.

you were almost to colorado when your phone started ringing, his name popping up at the top of your screen. you couldn’t block him until you stopped for breakfast, not reading any of the texts he had sent or listening to any of the voicemails he left.

landon laughs as you feed him a bite of pancake, throwing a crayon on the ground. you set your phone down and look at him with a smile, wondering how something so sweet could just make you forget everything wrong in your life.

-

you swallow, “why do you think that i left, trevor?”

“i don’t know, y/n. i’ve been asking myself that question for a week now and i can’t come up with an answer that makes sense. we were fine and then you were gone,” he looks confused and hurt, emotions that you had grown to know all too well. emotions that he himself had caused.

“you can’t be serious,” you shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. “how long did you think i’d let it go on? or are you just that full of yourself that you didn’t even see what you were doing to us? what you were doing to your son?”

“i don’t understand-”

“when you found out about landon, you made a promise to me that you would be a father, that it would take some time, and i believed you. i left everything to follow you to anaheim when you asked me to so that we could be together as a family, but it was the worst mistake that i have ever made,” you go quiet as your coffee is sat in front of you. you don’t touch the sandwich. “you genuinely can’t think that i was going to stay with the way that you were behaving.

“you have a child, trevor. you can’t just come and go as you please. every decision that you make, it affects him even when it doesn’t seem like it. that was something that i had to learn quickly.

“i was eighteen when he was born. i missed out on my entire senior year and going to college with my friends to raise him and i didn’t complain, not once. you got to have a senior year. you got to go to college without having to worry about someone else. you were one-track-minded on playing hockey, but that should’ve changed the moment that you found out about landon. instead, you decide to fuck off with your friends to new hampshire instead of going to your son’s doctor’s appointment and you didn’t even tell me. i had to find out from your mom when you wouldn’t answer my phone calls, trevor,” you scoff, looking at the wall behind him, “i should’ve backed out then.”

“i’m twenty years old, y/n,” he looks at you like he was shocked at your admission. “i want to go out and have fun.”

“and you think that i don’t? you aren’t understanding, trevor. we have a child. he depends on us. we can’t just run around and be kids anymore, we have a gigantic responsibility. you don’t get to stop being a parent just because going out with your teammates is more fun. believe me, i would love to go out with my friends whenever i wanted to, but i can’t.”

“i have to establish myself-”

“was it worth losing your family?” you ask and he freezes. you raise an eyebrow, “was going out for drinks and to play video games with your teammates worth losing your family, trevor? i want to know.”

“what do you mean ‘losing my family’?”

“did you think that i was going to come back and pretend like nothing happened? that we could just go on with our lives?” he gives you a ‘duh’ look. “i know you. if i did come back, you would keep doing the same shit and we would keep fighting. it’s a vicious fucking cycle and that’s not the environment that i want my son to grow up in and you shouldn’t want that for him either.

“i promise that i’m not going to keep him from you, i would never do that. i know that you love him and he loves you too, but i think that it’s in his best interest that we don’t play pretend because that’s going to mess him up in the long run.”

“so that’s it then?” he asks.

“the only thing changing is that i’m not going to be there when you get home-”

he interrupts you with an annoyed look, “or that we’re together.”

“were we ever together? or were we just fuck buddies who put on a show for everyone?” you ask and he avoids your eyes. “deep down, you have to know that we’re no good for each other and this is for the best. i’m not trying to hurt you, but you’re not ready for this and that’s obvious.”

he watches you as you push your chair back and grab your things, “what do you want me to do then? if you’re staying here.”

you spare him a final glance as you shrug your shoulder, “trevor, what i want is for you to figure your shit out, but i’m just tired of waiting for you to do it. you wanted your freedom and i’m giving it to you. have fun, trev. be twenty. that’s what you’ve always wanted to do anyway and now you don’t have us to worry about anymore.”

though you weren’t even sure that he ever did.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #anaheim ducks #my work

[blackgirlcinephiles]

Warning: Long Rant

I want to direct attention to a specific exchange in the most recent clip. The part where Ava mentioned that Nora said “She’ll fail anyway” regarding Fatou handling her part of the basement cleanup.

It wasn’t that long ago when I saw someone on here say that Ava has a habit “talking behind other people’s back.” But Ava has never said anything behind someone’s back that she isn’t willing to say to their face.

In moments of conflict, she’s the only person who expresses the full extent of her frustration unabashedly. She doesn’t let everyone move past the problem without it being fully addressed and because of that quality in her, she’s constantly being positioned as the aggressor (read: villain).

Ava was upset for a perfectly valid reason, but it was going to be framed as an overreaction *once again*, until she pointed out that Nora also expressed the same frustration. Before she brought that up, it was just going to be another situation where Ava’s feelings are invalidated, bc no one else was speaking frankly about the situation so “Ava’s just overreacting because that’s what Ava does.”

The same thing happened with the hoodie launch. Sure, everything worked out just fine in the end, but before that, the girls were facing a situation where they wasted their entire budget on a hoodie design no one wanted and Ava’s former bullies were ridiculing them all over Instagram for it. Ava, in particular, was frustrated b/c she was in charge of communicating with their prospective customers and she basically headed the project. It was perfectly understandable (at least to me) that she wanted to push Nora for a real explanation on why all of that had to happen, esp after Nora said she didn’t care right before walking out of the event.

That’s not to say that Ava was entitled to a full explanation on Nora’s disassociative disorder and alcoholic mom, because she’s wasn’t. And that’s also not to say that her personal history with the Instas didn’t influence her response towards Nora because it very obviously did. But there was also a clear lack of communication, and because Ava didn’t let that slide, she’s the bad guy.

ETA: The point I’m making here is that even in situations where the other girls in the group share Ava’s sentiments (Curiousity about why Nora messed up the design: Mailin, exhaustion about having to explain racism: Fatou, frustration at Fatou messing up the basement cleanup: Nora) Ava is always the only one to address the problem and state her feelings in a direct, confrontational way. Even though we’ve seen her pull back a bit this season. And she’s becoming a pariah over it.

This treatment of Ava pisses me off so bad, bc this whole dynamic is so recognizable to me as a Black girl. It’s something that happens very specifically to Black girls. I can’t begin to count the amount of times where I’ve been the only person to confront an issue head on in a situation, no matter hesitant everyone else was, only to be left hanging.

Very quietly other (non-Black) individuals involved would tell me that they “completely aggreed with everything I said” and that “it needed to be said,” “thank you for doing that” etc. It happened so often that people would even default to me to address conflict. “Could you say something? I mean you’re just so good at it.” Yet, despite how much they claimed to support me privately, they never backed up me publicly.

And what is the result of a Black girl repeatedly being put in the position of sole initiator, instigator, aggressor in tense situations? Look no further than the nearest Druck youtube/instagram comment section for your answer.

I am sick of this.

When pre-dominantly non-Black spaces aren’t being actively hostile to Black people, they are unempathetic and indifferent. Black girls and our feelings/opinions/concerns are an inconvenience. That is how Ava has been treated by the fandom in general, but this season esp.

And perhaps that’s the fault of the writers. I know I have mixed feelings about how the topic of racism/allyship has been written, and that’s for another post.

But it would be dishonest of me to simply blame the writers, bc I know that’s not how racism and implicit bias works. I’ve unconciously distanced myself from Druck and posting about it seriously because Ava’s conflicts just hit too close to home. And it hurts to watch the audience response to her. It is a reminder of how I’m constantly afraid people will respond to me. But now I’m thinking of speaking up more because this is really just not fair.

It’s not fair to have grit my teeth and stomach completely tone-deaf, mean spirited comments about this Black female character while holding out hope that the narrative will eventually clear up all conflicts. I’m deadass worried about an Ava season now. How will she fare with an audience so unforgiving to her?

#I’m just gonna stop here bc its long enough #I’ll be surprised if anyone makes it through all that #druck #druck next gen #druck s6 #ava pereira #black girls in television #black girls on tumblr #blackgirlcinephiles