#will not lie while i was drawing this i was thinking about MY bully from elementary school (LMAO) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nameless-ken · 2 months

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Silent Confessions, Loud Masks - Billy Hargrove x Reader Series

I'm so excited about my brand new series! Not going to lie this first chapter was difficult for me to write. I have a serious battle with the dreaded delete button!

Anyways, hope you all enjoy this first chapter. It truly means a lot to me how excited you have been for this series <3 Comment below to be added to the taglist.

(Please reblog!!!)

Happy reading!

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: mostly angst with some slight rude remarks/bullying

Introduction to the series here!

Masterlist

(had this song in my head while writing this chapter)

In the tumultuous whirlwind of your teenage existence, embarking on your final year of high school, you've recently become aware of a singular truth: put full trust into the future that stretches far beyond the grasp of your present moment. Amidst the unexpected certainties that await, there's one you never anticipated – Billy Hargrove.

Billy reigns as the new king of Hawkins High, his “coronation” following the departure of Steve "The Hair" Harrington. He embodies the archetype of a manic attention-seeker, parading through the halls with a rotating carousel of girls, each week presenting a fresh face to the crowded hallways. It's a spectacle that leaves you utterly perplexed, unable to fathom the allure that draws countless girls into his orbit, only to be summarily discarded days later.

Thankfully, you've managed to maintain a safe distance from Billy and his band of lunatics, skillfully navigating the school corridors to avoid any unwanted encounters. While you share a few classes with his entourage, you've strategically positioned yourself in the front row, creating a buffer zone that shields you from their antics.

However, fate has a penchant for upheaval, as evidenced by your first detention – a consequence of arriving late to homeroom on three separate occasions. As you begrudgingly endure the mind-numbing 30-minute sentence after school, Robin, your loquacious best friend, offers her trademark blend of sympathy and sarcasm.

“They seriously gave you a detention for that? Couldn’t you pull the ‘I’m a straight A student who has never gotten in trouble before, please help dear little me this one time’ on them?”

“Sadly no. I definitely tried to get out of it but they’ve been cracking down on a bunch of seniors for a couple weeks now.”

“I'll wait up for you after band practice.” Robin slams her locker shut.

“Thanks. See you later.” You turn to go down the opposite hallway than her.

“Have fun troublemaker.” Robin pokes fun at your new “status” and you give her the finger back jokingly before you both wave and disappear down your own paths.

With a sigh, you resign yourself to the monotony of detention, selecting a seat near the window to alleviate the stifling atmosphere of confinement. The rules plastered on the board, NO FOOD. NO TALKING. STAY IN YOUR SEAT, serve as a constant reminder of the school’s misguided attempts at discipline.

You roll your eyes at the obnoxious nature of this situation. Why do schools think detention is ever going to work? You are put in a room for a certain amount of time with other delinquents. If anything you’re setting up a scenario for more trouble to happen.

You pull out the current book you're reading, ignoring all the rest of the students who walk in.

“Alright, welcome to detention. I have quite a lot of work to finish so I will be checking in periodically. When it’s your time to leave per your detention slip, come see me in my classroom and I’ll sign you out. Please respect the rules.” Mr. Thomson, the junior science teacher turned detention overseer, delivers a perfunctory address before retreating to his sanctuary, leaving the delinquent assembly to their own devices.

Amidst the murmurs of discontent, Billy's name resonates like a discordant note, signaling the unwelcome intrusion of Hawkins High's reigning sovereign.

“Are we gonna flake out again Billy?” It didn’t even cross your mind about the possibility of being stuck in the same room as him.

“Can’t. I’ve skipped so many that they want to try and expel me.”

“That'd be hardcore to see.”

“Not to my dad it wouldn’t. Besides, it's not that bad. We have quite the sight sitting up there in the left corner today.”

As Billy and his cohorts encroach upon your solitude, you bury your nose in your book in a feeble attempt to shield yourself from their presence.

“Let’s have some fun.” You turn another page as footsteps echo towards you, stopping in front of your occupance. “I don’t believe we’ve ever met.”

You don’t give him the time of day in reality but in your head, you’re fighting with the embarrassment and attention he’s solely giving you right now. Billy's charisma knows no bounds, his toothy grin and smug demeanor penetrate your defenses with effortless ease.

“I’m Billy but you may already know that. What’s your name, little mouse?” Billy rests his hands face down on your desk, leaning in so his face is parallel with yours.

“Such a quiet thing.” Ignoring his advances proves to be an exercise in futility as Billy's persistent pestering chips away at your resolve, culminating in a daring theft of your cherished book. Yet, you refuse to grant him the satisfaction of a response, maintaining a stoic facade despite the numerous emotions raging beneath the surface.

“It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for.” His friend to the right chimes in.

“There’s some ways I can think of to change that.” You look up, narrow eyes meeting Billy’s. He sends you a wink with his usual smirk resting on his face.

“Not going to say anything?” You can feel your heart racing, hating the way he’s making you feel, more annoying that he’s causing any kind of reaction from you.

The sudden arrival of Mr. Thomson offers a reprieve from Billy's relentless pursuit.

“Y/N, you’re free to go.” He grants you an opportunity to escape the confines of Billy's gaze. As you hastily gather your belongings and make your exit, Billy's parting words linger in the air as he whispers close to your ear, “See you around little mouse.”

Feeling like you could breathe again, you're greeted by a note from Robin stuck to your locker.

I got called into work :( Call me later - Robin

You groan inwardly, the frustration of detention compounded by the looming task of finding a new ride home. Billy and his entourage have succeeded in tainting what was already shaping up to be a less-than-ideal day. You trudge outside, seeking solace in the cool breeze that sweeps through the schoolyard.

The pleasant Indiana weather offers a small comfort, prompting you to forgo the immediate need for a ride and opt instead for a beautiful stroll to clear your mind. As you walk, you reach into your bag and retrieve your trusty cassette player, the familiar weight of it grounding you in the midst of chaos running through your mind. You mentally curse Billy for crowding every corner of your mind.

With a deft motion, you slipbthe cassette into the player, the soft click of the mechanism soothing in its familiarity. The strains of your favorite mix fill the air, providing a welcome distraction from the events of the day.

Lost in the music, you barely notice the passing cars, each one a blur against the backdrop of your thoughts. That is, until a certain familiar shade of blue catches your eye, the sudden halt of the vehicle drawing your attention like a magnet.

You turn, locking eyes with Billy as he idles beside you, his presence an unwelcome intrusion on your solitary walk. His voice cuts through the quiet, laced with an air of amusement that irritates your nerves.

“Didn’t think we’d meet again this soon little mouse.” he remarks, his smirk evident even from the confines of his car.

You pause your tape, the rhythmic pulse of the music abruptly silenced as you face him, a mix of irritation and annoyance evident in your expression.

"What do you want, Billy?" you questione, the weariness of the day showing in your voice.

He chuckles, the sound grating on your nerves as he leanes casually against the driver's side door, his gaze fixed on you with an unsettling intensity.

"She speaks!" he exclaims, his laughter ringing out in the quiet of the street. "Need a ride somewhere?"

You bristle at the suggestion, your resolve hardening as you met his gaze with a steely glare.

"Not from you," you retort, tone firm and uncompromising.

“Oh come on, I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.” You rolle your eyes at his innuendo, a flush rising in your cheeks as you resist the urge to give in to his persistent advances.

"I don’t need your help, Billy.”

He relents, his expression shifting to one of mock innocence as he reaches over to open the passenger door, a silent invitation hanging in the air between you.

"Come on, little mouse," he urges, his tone surprisingly gentle. "Just this one time."

You hesitate, torn between pride and practicality, before ultimately capitulating to the inevitable. You step into the car, the door closing with a soft click behind you as you buckle yourself in.

"No speeding," you warn, your voice firm as Billy complies with a laugh, the car pulling away from the curb at a reasonable pace.

As you settle into the seat, a strange sense of calm washes over you, the tension of the day slowly dissipating in the confines of the car. Despite your reservations, there was an undeniable comfort in Billy's presence, a realization that both puzzles and unnerves you in equal measure.

“So are you going to tell me where you live or am I bringing you back to my house?”

“I live near Curly. By that trailer park.”

“Thought you lived more in the pristine area of the Wheelers and Harringtons.”

“Well you thought wrong.”

As Billy maneuveres through the streets, you couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort mixed with a strange intrigue. You steal glances at him, his confident demeanor and reckless charm contrasting sharply with your own cautious nature.

"Why'd you get detention anyway?" Billy's question broke the silence, his eyes briefly leaving the road to meet yours.

"Too many tardies to homeroom," you reply, keeping your answers short.

"That's it? Seems a bit harsh," he remarks, his tone genuinely curious.

You shrug, not wanting to delve into the details of your run-in with authority.

As the familiar landmarks of Hawkins pass by in a blur, you couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead, the uncertainty of the future looming large on the horizon. You couldn’t help but think if this would be the last time Billy would go out of his way to acknowledge you.

Navigating the familiar streets of Hawkins alongside Billy, you're acutely aware of the palpable tension that simmers between you, a potent cocktail of unease but also lingering with intrigue. Though you strive to maintain a facade of indifference, the magnetic pull of Billy's presence proves undeniable, stirring emotions you've long sought to suppress.

You’re thankful the remainder of the drive passes by in a relative quiet, punctuated only by the loud rock n roll blasting from the radio. When you finally reach your destination, you find yourself hesitating before getting out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride," you say, surprising yourself with the sincerity in your voice.

Billy grins, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Anytime, little mouse."

With that, you step out onto the sidewalk, watching as Billy drives off into the distance. As you make your way towards your house, you couldn't shake the feeling that this chance encounter with Billy Hargrove was just the beginning of something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

Little did you know, the lines between your world and the world of Hawkins' resident bad boy were about to blur in ways you never imagined possible.

The following day, you find yourself once again navigating the familiar halls of Hawkins High, the events of the previous day still fresh in your mind. As you settle into your seat in English class, you can’t seem to shake the lingering sense of unease that accompanies your newfound proximity to Billy Hargrove.

It’s the most infuriating feeling and you hate yourself for allowing him to overtake your waking thoughts all throughout your night and morning.

The classroom buzzes with the usual chatter of students, the mundane rhythm of academic life marching on despite the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. As the bell rang, signaling the start of class, Ms. Paterson enters the room with her characteristic air of authority, a stack of papers in hand.

"Good morning, class," she greets as she makes her way to the front of the room. "Today, we'll be embarking on a new project that will count towards a significant portion of your grade for this year."

A collective groan echoes through the room at the mention of yet another assignment, but Ms. Paterson pays it no mind.

"As part of this project, you'll be working in pairs to research and present on a book report of your choosing," she announces, her gaze sweeping over the room as she distributed the assignment sheets. "I'll be assigning partners randomly, so I expect everyone to work together cooperatively."

Everyone exchanges a wary glance around the classroom, the prospect of being paired with someone like Billy Hargrove looming ominously in the air. As Ms, Paterson began calling out pairs, you held your breath, bracing yourself for the inevitable.

"Y/N, you'll be paired with... Billy Hargrove.”

You felt a sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach as Billy's name reverberated through the classroom, the weight of his presence suddenly suffocating in its proximity. You glance in his direction, meeting his gaze with a mixture of apprehension and resignation.

Billy, for his part, seemingly unfazed by the news, his trademark smirk firmly in place as he turned to face you with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

As the final bell rang, signaling the end of class, you found yourself hesitating by your desk, unsure of how to broach the subject of the upcoming project with your enigmatic partner.

Billy saunters over to your desk with his characteristic swagger, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Well, looks like we're partners, little mouse" he remarks, his tone laced with amusement as he leans against the edge of your desk.

You fight to suppress the urge to roll your eyes at his cavalier attitude, instead meeting his gaze with a steely determination of your own.

"Yeah, looks like it," you reply as you gather your belongings.

Billy's smirk widens at your response, his gaze lingers on you with a mixture of curiosity and something else you couldn't quite decipher.

"So, partner," he begins falling into step beside you as you both maneuver out of the classroom. "Where do you wanna meet up?"

You pause, considering your options carefully before responding. The thought of inviting Billy into your home sent a shiver of apprehension down your spine, but meeting up at his place didn't seem much better.

"How about we meet at the library?" you suggest, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself. "It's neutral ground, and we'll have access to all the resources we need."

Billy raises an eyebrow at your suggestion, his smirk morphing into a grin of approval.

"Works for me," he nonchalantly responds. His tone surprises you at how agreeable it is and non combative about trying to get you into his bedroom.

"4 pm. Don’t be late. I will not be waiting on you." You demand.

“See you then, little mouse.” He winks, walking in the opposite direction. You groan internally at the use of that nickname he’s decided to give you. This is going to be a long year.

As you and Robin sat on the bleachers in the gym during lunchtime, the rhythmic thud of basketballs hitting the court filled the air, punctuated by the occasional cheer from the squad as they practice their routines. Your eyes involuntarily flicker towards the court, where Billy’s shirtless form glistens with sweat under the fluorescent lights of the gym, his green gym shorts leaving little to the imagination as he moves with fluid grace among his teammates.

Robin's incredulous tone breaks through your reverie, snapping you back to reality.

"Wait, you got paired up with Billy for a project?" Robin exclaims, her disbelief palpable as she tore her gaze away from the court to focus on you.

You couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, the absurdity of the situation not lost on either of you.

"Yeah, tell me about it," you respond, taking a bite of your sandwich as you try to mask the unease that churns in your stomach. "I have no idea how I'm going to survive working with him for the rest of the year."

Caught in a moment of distraction, your eyes lock with Billy's across the expanse of the gym. Time comes to a stand still leaving only the two of you in a silent battle of uncertainty. For a fleeting moment, you found yourself captivated by the intensity of his gaze, the depths of his eyes holding a tantalizing promise of something unknown. It was a gaze that spoke volumes, conveying a myriad of emotions that stirs something deep and unexpected within you.

As if sensing the weight of your scrutiny, Billy's lips quirk into a knowing smirk, his eyes dancing with mischief as he holds your gaze with unwavering confidence. Before you could fully process the significance of the moment, the spell breaks as Billy turns his attention back to the game, seamlessly blending into the rhythm of the practice session as if the moment didn’t just happen.

You tear your gaze away, a flush of embarrassment coloring your cheeks as you focus once more on your conversation with Robin. But despite your best efforts to dismiss the encounter, the feeling of Billy's piercing gaze lingers in the back of your mind, a silent reminder of the unexpected allure of the boy who has unwittingly become a sudden constant in your life now.

Robin offers words of encouragement, her unwavering support a welcome balm to your frazzled nerves.

"Don't worry, Y/N," her voice a beacon of optimism in the darkness. "You're strong enough to handle anything that comes your way. Besides, who knows? Maybe working with Billy will be...interesting."

You couldn't suppress a snort of disbelief at her suggestion, the image of Billy's smug smirk and cocky attitude flashing through your mind.

"Yeah, interesting is one word for it," you remark dryly, a wry smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Let's just hope I survive long enough to at least be there for graduation."

The town library stands as a quiet sanctuary amidst the bustling small town streets of Hawkins, its walls lined with rows upon rows of books that hold the promise of knowledge and adventure. As you step through the entrance, the familiar scent of old paper and ink washes over you, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you sought out a secluded corner to await Billy's arrival.

Minutes tick by, each second stretching into an annoying eternity as you scan the quiet aisles for any sign of your partner. Just as you begin to resign yourself to the possibility of being stood up, a figure appears in the doorway, his presence commanding attention as he makes his way towards you with purposeful strides.

"Sorry I'm late," Billy greets, his tone apologetic as he approaches, a faint crease of worry marrying his brow. "Had to drop off my step-sister at home."

You nod understandingly, "No worries," offering him a reassuring smile as you gesture towards the table. "Let's get started."

Billy's expression softens at your words, a hint of gratitude shining in his eyes as you don’t try to pry. For a moment, the weight of his troubles seem to lift from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of camaraderie as you delve into the task at hand.

As you and Billy sift through the titles of various books, searching for the perfect one to base your project on, the atmosphere between you remains comfortably casual, the initial awkwardness of your partnership gradually melting away.

"So, any preferences on which book we should choose?" you ask, breaking the silence that has settled over the table.

"Not really," he replies with a casual shrug, his gaze flicking between the book covers with mild interest. "I'm good with whatever you want."

“Do you have a favorite book?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever really finished one before.” Billy admits.

“That’s quite sad to hear. What do you even do for fun?”

“You think this is fun? Holding old pieces of paper about fake people and worlds. Seems like a waste of time to me.”

You raise an eyebrow at Billy's dismissive remark, a hint of amusement tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Well, not everyone finds joy in reading, I suppose," you remark lightly, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted despite the underlying tension between you. "But there's something magical about getting lost in a good book, don't you think?"

Billy shrugs, his expression guarded as he leans back in his chair, his gaze fixes on the bookshelves before him.

"I guess," he replies with a noncommittal shrug, his tone tinged with a hint of defensiveness. "I've just never really seen the appeal, you know?"

You nod in understanding, sensing the reluctance in his voice as he skirts around the topic of his own interests.

"Well, what about movies or music?" you press, eager to draw him out of his shell and uncover the layers of complexity that lie beneath his tough exterior. "Surely there must be something you enjoy doing in your free time."

Billy hesitates for a moment, his features softening slightly as he considers your question.

"I don't know, I guess I like playing basketball," he admits, a faint glimmer of enthusiasm shining in his eyes. "And...uh, sometimes I'll mess around with drawing when I'm bored."

You smile at his admission, a flicker of curiosity igniting within you as you get to witness a glimpse of the person behind the tough facade.

"That's cool," you reply, genuine warmth coloring your voice as you lean in closer, the distance between you suddenly feeling much smaller. "I didn't know you drew. Maybe you could show me some another time?"

"Yeah, maybe," Billy replies, his tone gruff and defensive, a faint edge of defiance creeping back into his voice. "But don't get your hopes up. It’s not that great"

You sense the walls he's built around himself, the layers of protection he's carefully constructed to shield himself from vulnerability. But beneath the tough exterior, you know there’s something raw and real, a flicker of longing that hints at the depth of his hidden desires.

"That's okay," you reassure him with a smile, your voice gentle as you reach out to bridge the gap between you. "We all have to start somewhere, right?"

"Yeah," he murmurs softly, a rare vulnerability creeping into his voice. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

“So, what about you, little mouse? Any other hobbies besides reading old stories?” A spark of enthusiasm ignites within you, quite surprised at his continuing of the conversation.

"Yeah, actually," you begin, a smile spreading across your face as you lean forward, excitement bubbling within you. "I love photography. There's just something about capturing moments and memories with people and things I love that feels so special. I don’t know, I mostly do it for fun."

A mischievous glint sparks in Billy’s eyes as he leans in closer, his voice low and teasing. " I guess I'll have to watch out for those sneaky snapshots next time."

You can't help but roll your eyes at his playful banter, the Billy everyone around Hawkins knows showing back up.

"Please," you retort with a playful scoff, feigning indifference as you brush off his teasing with a wave of your hand. "Like you're worth wasting film on."

Billy chuckles at your response, a grin spreading across his face as he leans back in his chair, his gaze lingering on you with amusement.

"Ouch, that hurts, little mouse," he replies with mock indignation, his tone light and playful despite the underlying tension between you. "But hey, don't worry. I'll make sure to give you my best angle next time."

"Keep dreaming, Hargrove," you retort, a flicker of annoyance flashing in your eyes as you notice Billy building those tough walls back up, leaving you to the same mysteries as the rest of the town.

As the conversation fizzles out, you can't shake the feeling of disappointment lingering in the air. Despite the brief moment of connection, it seems that Billy's walls are too high to breach, leaving you with a sense of frustration at the missed opportunity for genuine connection. You can't help but wonder about the masks he wears so loudly, each one a cacophony of distractions meant to hide the vulnerability beneath. With a resigned sigh, you turn back to the task at hand, burying your disappointment as you focus on finding the perfect book not without stealing another glance at Billy as he picks up one of the books and rifles through the pages.

If these past two days have shown you anything, it’s how little time it takes for a stranger to become a big part of your life. It's unsettling how quickly he's managed to weave himself into the fabric of your daily existence with a persistence that both frustrates and intrigues you. You've always valued your privacy, cherished the solitude of your inner sanctuary, but now, in the wake of Billy's arrival, you find yourself craving his attention in a way you never thought possible.

Perhaps the greatest risk is not in letting someone new in, but in closing yourself off to the possibility of genuine connection. And even with the knowledge of Billy having a tangled labyrinth for a heart, perhaps he’s worth the risk after all.

Taglist: @msbillyhargrove @uselessbutinteresting @milestellergfs @periwinkle-quill @ghostcastaway

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demeterdefence · 2 months

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Can we talk about how last chapter Persephone had that moment with her past self saying she'd protect her, protect herself... and then this new chapter didn't have her do anything at all except stand there. She has ONE line protesting apollo's plan and then shuts down. Everyone else is arguing for her. And like, I don't have a problem with people protecting her but. As a story it's hard to take it seriously when she has this big moment saying she'll protect herself and then nothing comes of it. She also only has SIX lines this whole chapter, and 4 of those are after leaving the press conference with Hera.

god yeah i was already so disgruntled over the "i will always protect you" thing because we KNEW it was just more classic "therapy speak" tacked on for some kind of semblance of girl power, but the next part really does just seal it in doesn't it

like i'm sorry, but persephone telling her younger self she'll "always protect you" is a lie front to back because persephone has not and likely will not do anything to address what happened to her, she has done nothing to bring her rapist to justice, she won't even let other people deal with him so the whole scene is just this random facade of girl power that is anything but. and then we dive into the actual mess of it and like

absolutely unrelated but i love how rachel cannot draw feet facing forward she has to draw them from the side so we have this anatomy twister anyways

the warning ahead of the chapter said "manipulation that causes psychological distress" so couple that with the "i will always protect you" from last chapter, you have either persephone realizing how wholly out of her depth she is at doing that, or you have rachel thinking this is? somehow protective?

like okay it's cool you're angry i guess so are you going to do anything about it? are you going to tell all the people watching live that apollo is a rapist? are you going to point to any of the many gods milling around who know what happened (hermes, for example) and say "hey, these guys can vouch for me that apollo is a predator, he has hurt me before and i have good reason to suspect he's trying to do so again."

classic copy paste of panels to meet the panel count but also two former love interests of persephone get to be the one to point out the logical fallacy! interesting!

i forgot about that stupid drill lol but yeah that sure looks like protecting nineteen year old persephone i guess

and i'm not trying to be coy or nitpicky because again, we are talking about facing a rapist who has caused unimaginable damage and it's very easy for people who haven't gone through that to say "just say something persephone!!!" so my frustration isn't necessarily with persephone herself, it's rachel insisting in the narrative that persephone is healed and getting better and stronger and then failing all across the board to show it. it's rachel having hera come in at the last second to save persephone, while the male admirers in persephone's life fight the male abuser. and it's downright insulting that all the times persephone has had a quote unquote "girlboss moment" it's when she's bullying lesser beings or those who simply cannot defend themselves against her. when she's up against a force that frightens her or is stronger than her, she lets other people do the work. it's just so absolutely disrespectful to abuse victims, to the concept of abuse, and to the idea that persephone is protecting anyone, least of all herself.

#answered #anti lo #anti lore olympus #abuse ment /#assault ment /#rereading this chapter to get my evidence and wow the mess is just lying out there #like u really live like this rachel?#like i WANT the scene to WORK #i want her to protect herself!!!#but she's got to do the work! she's got to face the monsters!!!#thank u so much for the ask once again i am fighting rachel at dawn

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trulyyours-rune · 10 months

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"You're Safe with me."

Quick warnings: Topics about bullying, name calling (such as queer, not mention a lot though.), bit of angst, language here and there, male x male, fluff ending, bit of violence, kinda short cause I'm tired, reader is male and uses he/him, reader is badass cause why not?

BILL'S P. O. V:

"For as long as I can remember, me and my brother, Tom, are often called names a bullied at school from seeming different in everyone's eyes. Even though known to be most popular boy of our grade has been helping us pull through. I like him, don't take this the wrong way of course! Only like a friend. Now...the more I think about it...Is it just a friend way?" I scribble down with messy writing into a diary I recently bought myself, a nice black leather one with a lock with a code. "Bill! C'mon! Hurry up, gonna' be late for school!" I hear my twin brother yell from down stairs. "Give me a minute!" I shout back.

I rush as I put the book in my drawer, grabbing my backpack and nearly tripping down the stairs. The front door opens and my mom is already in the car, smiling and waving her hand gesturing for us to hop in. "Shotgun!" Tom tells and sprints to the car. (He would so do that.) I groan and hop in the back, setting my backpack to the side. We pull out of the driveway and make out way to what me and Tom call hell.

Not gonna lie I'm hoping y/n will be at school today. We're good friends. Many people would sacrifice a lot just to be friends with him, but he only sticks with my band/friend group. He's funny once you get to really know him, and pretty... Pretty? Yea- no. Well he was handsome of course because girls slobber on him day and night. Never dated one of them? Wonder why.

I seemed so drained in my thought the kids from outside if the car screaming snapped me out of it. "Bye, love you ma." "Love you too, have a good day alright you boys?" "Alright." Both me and Tom almost say in sync as we grab our backpacks and stepping out of the car. Georg and Gustav were waiting at the nearby fence. "Where's y/n?" I tilt my head while approaching them, Tom close behind. "Haven't seen him yet." Gustav shrugs, looking over his shoulder for the boy. I feel myself frown a bit, I was really looking forward to seeing him. Especially inside of school. Hate it in there.

The high-pitched bell rings, making me jump a bit from the sudden loud noise. "Got science first today, you guys?" I ask, looking at my friends as we walk. "Me and Tom got math first." Georg rolls his eyes and Tom groans. "History." Gustav shrugs once again. "Y/n was supposed to have science." I pout a bit. We soon enter the school and a overwhelming feeling surrounds me with looks and stares. I keep my head down, and so does Tom.

I reach my locker and grab the stuff I need in a swift motion, slamming the locker door shut and locking it. I feel an arm shove into me, which makes me bump into my locker. "Watch it, queer." A male voice I hate to recognize walks past me. I clench my teeth together and tense my hands into fists, soon relaxing and walking to Mr. James classroom. (Suck at names 🤩)

I find the spot where I usually sit beside to y/n like usual. Sliding my books under my desk and keeping my head down as I figit with my fingers. The bell rings again, meaning class has started. 1 hour and 30 minutes to go. Lucky me. The teacher passes out empty notebooks, still putting one on y/n's desk like he doesn't notice he's here or not. We pull out our textbooks and that's where the boring part begins.

A couple minutes pass by, we have 1 hour and 12 minutes left. I scribble random doodles on my notebook. A loud "bang!" Of a door slamming open was heard, making me mess up the drawing and look back. Y/n entered through the door breathing quick and heavy as if he just ran an olympic race, "Sorry I'm late, uhm..." He looks down at his shoes to find an excuse. "Parent's car wasn't working." Pretty lame excuse, I smile to myself, but at least he was here.

He sits down in the desk next to me, looking over and signing a quick small wave, I wave back with a smile.

Y/N'S P. O. V:

I knew he would be here, and I feel guilty for being late. Who knows what happened to him while I was gone already? I look down at the notes, clueless what was going on. I never paid much attention anyways.

A minute or two passes by, when a small note gets passed onto my desk from behind me. I open it up and it's one of those 'do you like me?' notes but instead of '□ yes □ no' it was marked '□ yes □ yes' signed from: -the girl behind you. The girl obsesses over me, does this 4 times a week. I chuckle and catch Bill's attention, showing him the note from my desk, pointing behind me. He smiles a bit before drawing God knows what. I erase one of the 'yes' and replace it with no and I check 'no' and crumple it back up and toss it behind me. I hear her open it and sigh in defeat. I smile to myself by the rejection.

(Lunch time cause I have 0 clue what to do now 🥰)

I wait by Bill's locker as he grabs his stuff, he seems off today. Not usually talking to me as often as he does. Tom happens to pass by and I wave to him, he waves back but continues his walk to the cafeteria.

"You alright Bill?" I look at him, he looks at me and closes his locker. "Yeah I'm alright." He looks down a bit. I hum crossing my arms and standing up straight. We start walking to the cafeteria and I see glares getting passed on towards Bill. I glare back at the people and stand my ground, they look away and continue to do whatever they were doing. Feeling power for reputation and both good was a nice feeling. Being respected all because of their reputation could go down if they make a fool of themselves and I use it against them. I would never to Bill, he's one of my best friends after all. He's a sweet boy, not sure why people pick on him. Who cares if people are different? Someone popular could get an ugly haircut and no one bats an eye, and other kids are bullied for what seems to be 'looking different.' Who gives a crap!? Not me, that's for sure, and hell, I get respected.

People call him "Gay." "Emo." "Queer." and the list goes on, ruins his self esteem. Which makes my blood boil each time, he tries to get me not to worry about it so much, but he's my friend! A pretty one at that. Wait- where am I going with this? "Earth to y/n." I see a slim hand wave in front of my face as we walk, snapping me back to reality. "Wait- what's happening?" "Lunch." He shrugs, standing in line.

Eventually it's our time to pick up food, wasn't even all that good after all. Yet I'd rather not starve. Our trays are full and we stand off to the side to spot out the group. Bill sees dirty blonde dreads and starts heading the direction so I follow closely to him.

"Hey man!" A random guy, seems to be a huge sports wannabe guy, stops me in my tracks, startling me. Bill doesn't notice and keeps walking. I hear other guys giggling their asses off like idiots, coming from the nearby bleachers where Bill is walking. "Hey man liste-" I try to talk my way out but he interrupts me with questions I don't even care about. I try to shimmy past him but he just walks in front. I start to get more and more annoyed as the other boys get closer to Bill with what seems to be small opened cartons of milk. "Move!" I shove him with my shoulder but I already hear a splash ahead of me, my heart drops at the moment. Everyone's laughing and Bill is soaking wet with milk while his tray lays on the ground.

He forms tears and runs off to the bathrooms, I go to go chase him but I shove my food tray into the guys chest, ruining the jersey he probably doesn't even know the team of. I run off to the men's bathroom, hearing a stall slam shut and light sobs. "Bill?" I call out. "Go away." "Bill come on, it's me." I put a hand on the stall he was on, pushing on it slightly, he locked it.

I sigh as I still hear the crowd laughing from outside and rage fills my gut. I hear a small click and the stall is unlocked and opens slightly. I see a soaking wet Bill, his usual eyeliner running down his cheeks. I feel my heart break at the sight, I frown and hug him, he hugs back and continues to sob into my shoulder. I rub his back gently and let him cry. "Here." I say, letting go for a moment to sit down against the wall, reaching out my arms. He rests on top of me, arms wrapped around my stomach.

Poor boy looks so mentally and physically drained. I wipe one of the tears of eyeliner across his cheek, it smears a bit but mostly gone. "I wanna go home." I hear him mumble. "My place? I was late because I got your favorite snacks. Still forgot them at home though." I giggle. He smiles and nods, sitting up. I stand up, my clothes may be wet, but it's not like it's the worst thing that will happen to me. I wrap my arm around his shoulder and walk him out, his head cowered down, hiding from shame. After a bit of walking we see Tom, Gustav, and Georg at the office at the entrance. Tom and Georg hug him, also not caring if their clothes got wet or not.

"We're heading to my place, got snacks so he gave in." I chuckle. Tom nods. I take Bill's cold hand and walk him out the entrance, the sun glare making us squint a bit.

BILL'S P. O. V:

(Once they're at y/n's place 👍)

I walk inside the warm house, kicking off my shoes by the door."You can go to my room and change your clothes with mine, I don't mind." Y/n looks at me, walking into the kitchen to grab the snacks he was talking about. I nod and walk to his room, opening the door to the place I felt most comfortable. I spot his drawer and take one of his shirts and pants (that we're both a bit big for him.) and changed into them. They were warm and cozy unlike my milk soaked ones. I walk into his bathroom and grab a towel and dry off my hair, making it messy in the end but who cares beyond this point. I turn on some warm water and wash the eyeliner off my face, drying my face off too and turning off the water.

I walk back to his room and he's already laying in his bed, eating. "Your parents not home or something?" I ask, grabbing some chips he recently bought. "Both working today, their shifts been crazy this week." He shrugs. "Wanna watch a movie?" "Your pick." I say, y/n smiles and puts on a horror movie, Scream I suppose. "You know..." Y/n looks at me. I look at him, letting him know he has my attention. "You're safe with me." He smiles, his cheeks seem redder than usual, but mine feel a bit hotter now and my heart is beating like crazy. I return the smile, after those simple 4 words I truly do feel like I am safe. I want to stick by his side, for... Eternity. He's my safe space. He's the one I come crying too whenever I can. I must be smiling like an idiot now.

I lay back into his bed, closing my eyes a bit. I feel something weighted beside me, it's y/n, also laying down with his eyes closed. He looks so pretty like this, he always has. It's almost like I wanna kiss him sometimes. (Cause you do 🤩). You know what? Fuck it. I place my hand on his cheek and the other one I lay a quick kiss too. My face red as I roll onto my side, facing away from him. Rethinking life choices.

My heart just acted as if it got chased by a bear. But I hear a chuckle and arms wrap around me and pulls me into him he laughs and kisses the top of my head. I must be blushing madly because my entire face feels like it's on fire. I dig my face down into his shoulder as my arms wrap around him. He was my safe space after all.

__________

And kids that's how I met your fath-

Anyways. It's 1:52 in the morning and I've been fighting every nerve to stay awake so it may seem rushed. Anything does when you're half asleep after all.

But ngl, hope you enjoyed <3

#bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x male reader #bill kaulitz x male reader #tokio hotel imagines #tokio hotel

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sarahivess · 1 year

Text

19 minutes and 17 seconds of reasons why I love Byler so much.

youtube

Songs:

“Hearing” by Sleeping at Last

“Holland” by Novo Amor

“Wait” by M83

“Turning Page” by Sleeping at Last

“Complex” by Katie Gregson-MacLeod

The reasons:

1. Will can’t lie to Mike, not even small white lies

2. Their relationship is in focus right from the very start

3. Mike is always the one in focus when it’s about Will

4. Mike feels like he’s the only one who cares about Will

5. When Will’s fake body was found, Mike’s reaction was in focus

6. Mike never stopped believing that Will was alive

7. Mike recognizes Will’s voice instantly

8. When they first met El in the woods, Mike’s first thought was “That’s not Will”

9. ”And we kissed, as though nothing could fall. And the shame was on the other side.”

10. Mike stood up to the bullies when they made homophobic jokes about Will

11. Mike’s father can’t think of him being with a girl

12. Mike’s mother knows and accepts him

13. Mike saves all of Will’s drawings in a binder

14. He even caresses them

15. When Will came back, Mike laid his head on Will’s chest to hear his heart beating

16. Mike and Will is in their happiest state while playing DnD together

17. Mike is the only one who notices Will going away

18. He is also the one who snaps him out of his trance

19. More than once

20. Mike’s voice is softer towards Will than to any other person, aka “The Will voice”

21. Mike immediately notice changes in Will’s behavior

22. Will always screams for Mike when he’s in danger or lost

23. And when he’s hurt

24. Mike says he’s gonna take Will home

25. and he takes him to his basement

26. Will feels like Mike is the only one who understands him

27. When Will listed all the people who like to “baby” him, he doesn’t mention Mike

28. “Only love makes you that crazy”

29. They said they’d go crazy together

30. Mike wants to be a writer, and Will wants to be a comic-book artist (perfect match)

31. Mike worries about Will and insists to be there for him

32. Mike is always the first person next to Will when something happens to him

33. He also sees himself as Will’s personal protector

34. He never left Will’s side when he was possessed

35. Mike slept in an uncomfortable hospital chair to make sure Will was never alone, even though he was possessed

36. Will still rememberers Mike

37. Mike wants to protect Will and be his shield

38. Mike held Will’s hand to give him comfort

39. The hand that Mike held was the only part of Will’s body that wasn’t possessed that wasn’t possessed was the hand Mike held, and this way Will could communicate with them

40. The thumb touch

41. Mike remembered the first day he met Will in detail, even though they were only 5 years old

42. Mike never smiles in pictures, unless Will is there with him

43. Mike’s reaction to Will dancing with a girl on the Snow Ball

44. Will is the best thing that ever happened to Mike

45. They both blush when they’re at the movies together

46. They’re looking at each other’s lips

47. More than once. Mike even got distracted by it

48. Will says he’s not gonna fall in love

49. But he’s already fallen

50. Will smiles when El breaks up with Mike

51. Mike doesn’t seem heartbroken by the break up

52. When Will is upset with Mike he immediately tries to make everything okay again

53. The projection: ”It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”

54. Will admitted he wanted to spend the rest of his life playing games with Mike

55. Twice. He can’t see a future without Mike

56. Will destroys Castle Byers because of Mike’s hurtful words

57. Mike immediately bikes through Hawkins in the thunder storm to apologize and make things right again with Will

58. Mike walked through the dark forest in the rain calling for Will because he was scared something had happened to him again

59. Will donated his DnD game because the game meant nothing without Mike

60. Will promised he won’t join another party

61. Their shared smile

62. Their heartfelt goodbye

63. Hopper’s speech is heavily Mike-coded

64. When Will left, Mike got depressed and stayed in his basement for weeks

65. “Will is painting a lot for someone he likes, maybe it is a girl?” El writes in a letter to Mike

66. When they meet again it’s suddenly very awkward (from Mike’s side) he also immediately asks about the painting

67. Mike is suddenly acting jealous, “ignoring” Will and they share and avoid awkward eye contact

68. Mike asks El if their friends is gonna be where they’re going, and he reacts when Will says “Angela”, so he tries to make Will jealous by kissing El on the temple

69. And he succeeds

70. Will is angry at El for lying to Mike for months and he thinks Mike deserves better

71. Mike thinks Will has sabotaged the whole day because he barely talks to him, rolling his eyes and moping

72. They both feel hurt for not reaching out more, even though Mike actually tried to call Will a bunch of times according to Dustin

73. “We’re friends, we’re friends”, “We used to be BEST friends”

74. Mike thinks home isn’t the same without Will

75. He also admitted that he felt like he had lost Will

76. SCRIPT: “This intimate moment got shattered-“

77. They always gets interrupted when they’re having a moment

78. Mike gets nervous every time Will is close to him or accidentally touches him

79. The flirting, pining & staring

80. Will wants to confess but is afraid Mike won’t like the truth

81. Mike nods. He.. understand what he means?

82. Mike can’t say or write “I love you” to El

83. Mike feels like they can’t come back from that

84. Will’s painting was for Mike

85. Mike’s face drops when Will said the painting was from El

86. He was actually talking about his own feelings for Mike, and how he sees him, with El’s name as a shield because he wanted to reassure him

87. Mike is Will’s heart, he’s making him feel like he’s not a mistake and that he’s better for being different. He don’t want to lose him

88. Will cries in the van because he’s in love with his best friend and don’t know how to tell him, this was the first time he ever lied to Mike

89. The look on Mike’s face when he spots Will after his reunion with El

90. Will thinks Mike and El is happily and in love (from his PoV)

91. When in reality, they really aren’t

92. Will’s brother knows and accepts him

93. Will reminds Mike that he’s the heart, pushing him into confessing his love to save El

94. She doesn’t believe him, but Will does

95. Mike and El are barely talking after the monologue

96. Will tells Mike about Vecna and Mike reassures him (in the most beautiful light we’ve ever seen in the show)

97. Mike is always by Will’s side for the rest of the last episode, foreshadowing the arc of season 5

98. The last shot of season 4 is them paralleling the other canon couples of the show

99. Will is Mike’s light

100. Mike is Will’s light

101. They are perfect together.

#101 reasons to love mike and Will #byler #byler edit #byler is endgame #Youtube

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months

Text

we need to have an honest conversation about hostile attribution bias, honesty, and bullying.

@deliciouskeys i've had enough of this shit. you wanted to piss me off. now i'm pissed the fuck off.

hey, hiiii. friends of hers? critics? whoever you are reading this and willing to hear me out, i just wanna start by saying don't hate on her or anyone for this. don't send harassment, don't send anon hate, don't even unfollow her if you do read this all the way and find yourself upset with the topics discussed or her actions.

or maybe you wouldn't anyway, and you've already decided i'm insane, fine. but if you are friends of hers, don't barrage her with verbal abuse of any kind even if you are disappointed or disgusted, i'm not about that. and good friends won't just coddle and take your side to enable the bullshit, but they won't try to hurt you when you're down either

and to clarify what this is? it is a harsh criticism of ongoing behavior i have faced from her behind the scenes. or out in the open i suppose but mostly unseen or dismissed.

yes, i have the motherfucking receipts. i've tried to condense them to what i found most relevant to the topics at hand without clipping the interactions so much that they would give a biased misrepresentation, but all conversations as of this moment and to the best of my knowledge are still available to view in full context. mine certainly won't be deleted.

i may have some bad takes sometimes cause i'm as perfect as anyone, which is to say NOT AT ALL. but i'll readily admit that and the fact that i work on it, CONSTANTLY. and before anyone decides to dig through my shit to see if they can find dirt on me IRRELEVANT to this situation to DISTRACT from what's being called out?

all i ask is a fair chance and moment of your time to show you what i've been through, because it's something she never gave me from day one. and bear in mind please, that i am pissed off because it's gone on long enough and now she's trying to drag my friends into it while CONTINUING TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK and feign fucking ignorance.

no more.

deliciouskeys? you. yes you, i am addressing you directly this time. i gave you a peace offering with the mike sully meme, and you just kept going.

since i poked my head into the boys fandom, you have been hostile to me, LIED about me, put words in my mouth, accused me of hostility towards you, assumed my intent while not only withholding the benefit of a doubt, but consistently. consistently putting me down and insulting me as some sort of estranged fandom villain who only exists or popped up to oppose you or ruin everything.

i'm not a fucking cartoon character, i am a person. i do not exist to supplant you or whatever weird shit you keep imagining me to be that makes you act like this.

almost every single thing i say to you, instead of actually LISTENING or i dunno, READING IT AT FACE VALUE, you take. hyperanalyze. and immediately give it the WORST interpretation you can. and that's if i'm lucky.

i'm not here for fandom wars and shipping bullshit. i'm not here for your false dichotomy fantasy. i'm here to be a bullshit shipper and have fun and try to get others to be more open and have fun too. maybe throw in a psa here and there for the things i find important.

i'm not here to get fucking bullied either or to watch others get bullied. you can take your assumed hostility and narcissistic PROJECTION and shove it straight up your ass if you think i'm going to tolerate it.

and what is 'hostile attribution bias'? it's this shit.

oh, and you don't have to assume it anymore. i'm fucking hostile. why am i hostile? oh... at this point, i KNOW you KNOW. but not everyone else does, so let's just lay it all out and let others draw their own conclusions. hm?

this was what set you off, right? the automatic assumption that this was someone i knew, looking out for me? i suppose that's possible but that doesn't mean i know exactly who it was or that i put them up to it.

and y'know, i might have even said that anon was a bit harsh and still given you the benefit of a doubt. anon was ANGRY and that's clear, but plausible deniability is so wonderful, isn't it?

but you've gone beyond that point. it wouldn't be the first time someone's noticed your behavior, and i can guarantee that. our first conversation was on my post about the comics and what they meant to me, sparked from an interaction i had with another fan of the show who refused to read the comics but still insulted them directly to me.

the bottom piece is from the post, the top would be the snippet of conversation with the other person prior. all of these are highlighted with slightly adjusted coloring for ease of understanding who's who. and granted, you could argue that i jumped the gun in my first response to you, but then you accused me of being hostile towards people who allegedly read and disliked them. and i had done no such thing, i literally was not addressing those people at all.

that was the first time you put words in my mouth, lied about what i said, and 'villainized' me for 'attacking people' made of straw i might add, when the post itself SPECIFICALLY STATED:

MISCONCEPTION.

so not the people, but the IDEA. an actually legitimately incorrect idea given context. i could go into a rant about how the comics cover one of the single most important and detrimental concepts to humanity (the war machine) and how american media is so piss watered down, propagandized and censored for babies and pearl clutching old people (and before you clutch your pearls over me 'attacking' babies and the elderly, i am not. i am criticizing AMERICAN MEDIA and PURITAN MENTALITY) that the comic itself was relatively tame outside of the american world view bubble, but that's not the point here, is it.

the 'many many' actually refers to people off of tumblr too, though i'm sure there's a fair share here of that mindset as it's found everywhere with everything. even then, i don't condemn the people. minds can be changed for ideas, that was what i was trying to do. maybe i need better methods and i can admit that.

still you chose to lie to my face or what, attempt to gaslight me?? whatever it was, it was enough for someone ELSE to step in and literally ask if you were BULLYING me.

and me, being the naive fucking moron that i am and thinking we ended on a nice punny note and the conversation wasn't so bad STILL gave YOU the benefit of a doubt.

did you extend the same courtesy to me later on? well, let's see.

no. no you did not. snippets of a convo from an anon ask you got on a proposed canon butchlander from when i tried to join in, you immediately accused me of things i have never said or done or even implied. and when i called you out on it, you immediately apologized (good on you, not included here but i DO acknowledge it and DID appreciate it) and i thought, "oh cool! we must be explaining ourselves to try and better understand each other so this doesn't happen again."

only for you to then backtrack and jump back on that ASSUMED HOSTILITY shit you seem to just LOVE huffing. but just for me i gather. maybe a couple others that i haven't seen or don't know about.

considering this is just the stuff i DO know about.

moving on.

you have questions? oh, what a cowinkydink, i have answers. if only you had just ASKED ME DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND LYING.

but to give some clarification to the numbered ones.

love the framing here. OF COURSE, WE are ONLY here to be a NUISANCE. must be nice being a real human who can interact with others instead of solely "bother" them. if you'd actually read the post, you might have seen it was about the BULLYING itself, not the bullshit that apparently makes you rabid enough to be a bully. great use of being obtuse.

stop putting words in my mouth. stop fucking lying about me. stop assuming my intentions. stop painting me for your weird ass personal agenda or vendetta. stop making up bullshit about me when you haven't taken two seconds to get to know me. i did no such thing as 'slur the cishets'. proof is in the fucking pudding.

ahhh... i understand why you don't block people. and i think i'm understanding the insidious behavior and bullying too. you're disgusting to people who you don't want to see the content of so that they'll block you while you get to pretend you're still on your little high horse of being the "less petty" or "bigger" person. and that way you don't have to see their content anymore, right? having your cake, and eating it too. it's smart. it looks good on you as long as people don't see the behavior, like you might actually want to solve problems.

although, if i'm to understand all this correctly, you don't want to given the continued hostility towards me regardless of what i do or say. am i getting this, more of that delectable plausible deniability? or am i giving you too much credit? do you even want the benefit of a doubt at this point? because you stated before you'd rather be considered evil than stupid.

oh, my mistake, "disgusting" than "ignorant". let me not do what you do and put words in your mouth. clarify for me, if you want to.

personally, i think ignorance is more forgivable than malice because at least the uninformed can learn better, while those with ill intent will seek to harm again, but to each their own i guess.

and if you actually have brain damage over a nonsensical but ultimately harmless shit joke online, i'd suggest seeking actual help from a doctor because that isn't normal. but i'm going to be generous and say maybe it was a bit much or gave you a recurring nightmare or something, i don't know you, in which case yeah, get help if you need it. i take mental health very seriously so i'm not joking or being sarcastic here. happy healing and sorry for the trouble if that's the case on this specific thing.

but oh! you just don't want to see it, right? TOO BAD BITCH, I GOT MORE TO GIVE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!

and i don't have a problem with you writing your personal views about a pairing, any pairing. if that were all you had done, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation or, if you don't care i suppose i wouldn't be screaming into the void.

but you explicitly stated your point of view was "pretty common", that defaults my view as "uncommon" or in other words, "others" me and those who like bottom billy. don't you dare deny that when you know for a fact it's true.

then citing reasons for why you believed your view was more "accurate". you then went on to claim you were "baffled" when if that were true and you were actually interested in TRYING to UNDERSTAND? YOU WOULD HAVE JUST FUCKING ASKED ME DIRECTLY.

not that i would owe you an explanation or apology, or anything. but i'd have been NICE enough to try and answer anyway to the best of my ability. here, i'll do it now.

i'm not a big fan of bottom homie for the same reasons i'm not at all a fan of (show) homewell. apart from the whole superdick/compressing anus thing, narcissistic abuse/grooming and exploiting someone's trauma for a toxic kink is not only a huge turn off for me, it's super fucking triggering based on my experiences and what i have been through. i've had enough people looking down on me and telling me they "know what's best for me" while trying to rob me of my humanity and use me for their gain.

the funny thing is that i relate to homie in that sense but consider myself a total bottom who also LOVES the 'dom mommy' in certain context, but i also share a lot of similarities with butcher as well and know they both have a lot of very intense differences from me. and homie has a fucking vibrator for a dick. you CANNOT make me want to miss a chance for that, it's just not going to happen. and if i ever want to explore any form of 'grooming' kink from a personal place? i'll stick to thanos and mistress death, thanks.

i also don't find toxic masculinity sexy, that's a red fucking flag for me more glaring than the entirety of homelander, i find POSITIVE masculinity far sexier and true 'top' like. MM has the most of that in my opinion and is the sexiest man on the show, besides the guy who plays black noir under the mask.

i also fully understand the kink on the other end, y'all wanna baby him cause he's never had a mommy and longs for some kind of nurturing parental love, and y'all also wanna fuck him cause he's hot. so ya smash the two together and embrace the infantilization kink (which is seriously not my thing)

and listen, more power to ya. if that's what you like, enjoy it. i'm not judging. i just don't have the same fucking taste and i'm entitled to that. i don't understand why you have to comment on it or be "baffled" by the idea that people can be different from you.

for the record, i don't want to smash the two ideas together, i want to help homie SEPARATE and DEMUDDLE the legitimate problems and confusion in his brain that makes him so vulnurable to women's manipulations, and help him grow the fuck up without wanting to fuck his own mother (if he hasn't already) or keep him baby minded forever. i want to untap his potential and see the man he can/would become depending on circumstance.

because i like redemption and character growth and am a sucker for second chances regardless of liking dark media, and there's a huge difference between "i like you" and " i like that you like me".

that requires a more careful handling than anything suface level, but regardless i don't enjoy exploiting trauma kinks or reinforcing toxic masculinity any more than i would enjoy yiff or snuff. i wouldn't judge someone for having the taste as long as no one real got hurt. but that doesn't mean i have to have their taste.

stop kink shaming me or being "confused" by my preference, i haven't done the same to you. and before you pretend you haven't or that i have.

if you were "seriously trying to understand" you would again, ASK ME DIRECTLY instead of this roundabout bullshit where you talk about it and 'how confused or tired' you are, but can't be bothered to take two fucking seconds to JUST ASK for a more serious answer beyond willem dafoe.

if i wanted to shame you for having a kink, i wouldn't be subtle about it. but i wouldn't anyway because i wouldn't even shame those who have a rape fantasy because i have one and have written and read plenty of it. i file it under 'horror pr0n' with a number of other things, and not every form or 'flavor' of horror pr0n that exists is going to be for everyone, much the same as fucking regular horror. but if it's FICTION, it shouldn't matter.

i understand that and if i judged others for having different tastes or acted... well like YOU, that would make me a hypocrite.

and your friend got it PERFECTLY on the first note. and then decided to enable the bullshit yet again by subscribing to the bane of human unity, tribalism. thanks for reinforcing the idea that this HAS to be a dichotomy WHEN IT'S NOT.

a little healthy teasing and competition? i'm game. it's too bad that's not what this was.

i am not your fucking enemy just because YOU decided i was, YOU do not get to decide that for me. but i'll give them the benefit of a doubt and say they were 'just joking', right?

that's ALL it ever is. "just jokes". but JUST when you or "your side" do it. it's not like you've ever been derogatory and petty about "your side" being the "good side" of fandom.

if you have to constantly reinforce and self assure how "good" you are compared to "others" specifically not part of your niche bubble?

you're an asshole who's not actually "good", full stop. if you have to measure your self worth based on what others do or comparing yourself to them, actually seek help because that's not healthy. just my two cents

but if you want to get technical, NO ONE IS RIGHT AND NEITHER BILLY NOR HOMELANDER IS TOP OR BOTTOM IN A TRADITIONAL SENSE, not just because opinions and preferences can't be right or wrong. because butchlander isn't fucking canon, isn't going to become canon, and as far as we know, both characters are confirmed 100% STRAIGHT within the show with toxic masculinity issues a mile long and would never wanna touch each other like that with a 10 foot pole, and homelander's shown exactly ZERO interest in actually being pegged thus far, so that idea's a headcanon.

even herogasm showed us that 3 on fucking 1 STILL wasn't enough to take him down and homie freaking out over a bruise from an unfair challenge of 3 on 1 because it had logically been a very long time since he'd been hurt makes reasonable sense on a basic surface level. he's then over it by the time maeve makes him bleed and carries on bleeding, and now butcher's dying and is the most vulnurable and literally weak because he's sick of the bunch, so... headcanons? headcanons are fine but let's not forget reality and then laugh at the people who remember it.

and if you had just asked me why i even brought up lovely amazing beautiful cishet women (not at all sarcastic, see above purple posts), instead of YET AGAIN. ASSUMING MY INTENT AND PUTTING A LOAD OF CRAP IN MY MOUTH. you can have that back by the way, what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

or for clarification on why i brought it up? i could have TOLD YOU MYSELF. because unlike SOME PEOPLE, when someone just ASKS a question or gives a neutral or even heated response? I DON'T ASSUME HOSTILITY OR TAKE IT PERSONALLY FROM THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SPORT.

fact (and correct me if i'm wrong): majority of people participating in shipping fandom are cishet women.

this is a simple fact, it doesn't mean anything beyond that, i specifically said both times there's nothing wrong with this.

a majority of people are cishet, so this is to be expected. it still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people.

fact: society has issues, ideas, and expectations that affect and harm us all. cishet, or queer. and these issues will and do present themselves in fandom and fan fictions whether we realize that or not. heteronormativity would be one of those. misogyny is another.

and one of my kinks is challenging that, or at least the way i see to challenge that while dunking on redpill idealogy and toxic masculinity because i fucking can.

and i just LOVE how you tout about having the "pReTtY cOmMoN" perception which newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO HETERONORMATIVE IDEAOLOGY IF YOU THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A REASON A MAN WOULD NEVER BOTTOM. you'd be surprised what people could get up to behind closed doors. but then you turn around and not only put more words in my mouth, enable anon to put words in my mouth, discourage getting a direct answer from me, accuse me and my friends of being the type to randomly accuse someone else of doxxing??? wtf even is that.

and of course. given your 'pretty common' perception being the total opposite of heteronormativity, it MUST mean that society has resolved all of its issues and come to accept queer people exactly as they are in all forms with no expectations or interference whatsoever, oh yeah. places like florida or uganda just totally don't exist. the u.s. isn't on the verge of becoming an actual fascist hellhole for us, and it is TOTALLY just... no one oppresses us. no one.

ESPECIALLY not the cishets.

and despite all the evidence to the contrary, you especially have done nothing wrong here and its all in my head. is that right? can you clarify for me? do you think that my situations have put zero pressure on me in my day to day life? on my friends' lives? do you think you didn't add to that? do you think you and company are the only ones that feel or react like humans?

imagine being so far up your own ass you tell the queer HOW to queer. or at least be a GOOD queer, right?

oh, i'm sorry let me not put words in your mouth. you were of course only laughing at me behind my back for the 'anti-cishet' things i never said.

and no. OBVIOUSLY i wasn't saying any of the shit you accused. i was saying i prefer SUBVERSIVE themes when i do my tops and bottoms and a more detailed look at that can be found in my purple all over responses or just the posts themselves, but if you still want to ask me anyway, i'll answer to the best of my ability.

and what a coincidence that despite you understanding top/bottom not just being related to penetration and some people will feel certain dynamics may be reductive, how ironic that you couldn't possibly fathom that as one of my main complaints.

you don't WANT to actually understand. you just wanted a circle jerk of confirmation bias.

this anon hit the nail on the fucking head. and you wanted to fight them?? i could have overlooked this but i wanted to touch on something really important because i don't know what anon may have seen but i once saw you answer an ask about homelander's redeemability and you cited "tough love" as a means to get there.

and as a former addict and narcissistic abuse survivor (specifying for context), i can tell you first hand "tough love" is not a real thing, and it's not discipline either because that requires teaching and providing tools for rehabilitation. but don't just take my word for it.

from a psychological perspective and to hear actual professionals go over the concept? "tough love" not only DOESN'T work. it is an excuse to be nasty and abusive to someone under the guise that you are only doing it to help them, when all it really does is make you an abusive fuck.

this would be why the SHOW had HOMELANDER of all people saying it, why what billy did to ryan is presented the way it was with HUGHIE of all people, the guy who was at the time dealing with a huge wad of toxic masculinity issues up his ass, 'got it'. and even BUTCHER'S DAD is presented as the piece of shit that he is who gladly passed on his curse to butcher like it was a 'gift'.

even the comics got this when they present butcher doing his scumlord over 9000 move to hughie and annie saying "cruel to be kind" about his own bullshit. no. no no no. he did NOT do that for hughie's well being. he did it for himself because he was a selfish prick.

and i want to be clear. i am being an asshole here and i fully recognize that. that's for ME to feel better because i am fed up with your bullshit. because you have spent your time poking and prodding me for a hostile reaction. well congrats motherfucker. you got it.

and there ain't NO fucking love there.

i won't be your enemy. but i am NOT your friend either. clearly YOU wouldn't want that anyway.

but because i always have to add in that disclaimer for basic human decency? EVEN WITH HOW I FEEL and what the actual science says about "tough love", i would still never tell someone they can't use it in fiction, presented as a toxic kink or whatever the fuck else. even if it triggers me. even if i have a thousand different reasons to criticize it and voice that in a separate space.

people can do whatever the fuck they want and i can't control that. neither can you.

but i don't have to engage with the content or speak positively on it or keep my mouth shut, and i'm not gonna harrass people or pull the kind of insidious bullshit you do either.

at the end of the day, this is fiction. and if you feel the need to run an entire fucking smear campaign about me over fiction and preferences??

stop lying about me

stop putting words in my mouth

stop talking about me behind my back

stop predetermining who i am for me

stop assuming hostility when i will flat out tell you my intent and you can just ask, that doesn't just go for me.

stop fucking gatekeeping and gaslighting.

I DON'T HAVE A DISHONESTY PROBLEM LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

and fuck you.

neither me nor any of my friends or these anons are crazy and i will not sit around while you try to fucking gaslight me or anyone else. try it again, i fucking dare you.

bottom billy lovers existing is not an attack on you. it never was. you don't own the tags. FUCKING DEAL.

this behavior? is UNNACCEPTABLE.

as for fandom? a few more things i want to cover. i couldn't have said it better than a friend of mine who while a little hectic and crazy sometimes, has been nothing but a sweetheart<3 that i just want to encourage and motivate to art or post pictures of her billy butcher kitty babygirl incarnate but unfortunately due to circumstances may be regressing back into her shell.

a message i will never stop promoting, whatever iteration it comes in, whenever it comes up.

i may disagree with what you are saying or doing, but as long as you are not harming anyone, i will fight wholeheartedly for your right to say or do so.

that is the philosphy of true freedom, THAT is what i subscribe to. and it pisses me the fuck off when i see people trying to punish or hurt people for things that hurt no one. we don't get to decide how other people want to live their lives. we can only navigate and hope we might find a friend along the way.

and THAT is the single greatest picture of captain america ever fucking created. no i will take dissenting opinions.

in regards to assumed hostility or hostile attribution bias, a more lighthearted and easily digestable demonstration is below.

youtube

gais... just don't do it. don't automatically assume that someone means you harm or pain simply because they disagree with you. this is what leads to more problems. this is what leads to human tribalism. this is what divides us. this is what destroys us. this is what leads to wars. fandom shipping bullshit or otherwise.

the fucking stupidest invention of humanity, fought over goddamn unholy wads of paper and scribbles of ink because people couldn't accept that their ideas weren't accepted by everyone else, and anyone who didn't fall in line got the axe. or alienated. or excommunicated. or accused of being a witch. or whatever.

but this is the kinda shit we need to nip in the bud at the most basic level we can, every time we can.

it's called intolerance of the intolerant. and it's how we stop hatred from fostering and the intolerance being tolerated and eventually taking over.

because assumed hostility? it IS intolerance.

people are not made from ideas, it's the people who make or break the ideas, not the other way around. and ideas can change.

that should never be seen as a bad thing because it's necessary for positive changes and better understanding as time goes on.

challenge yourselves and the way you think, listen to newcomers and welcome them, have healthy discussions, learn to agree to disagree. it's not that hard.

and i know, i get it. it's not easy, not that simple either. everyone's on edge, people are sickly addicted to hatred and anger because they are EASY. giving in to them doesn't require self control or any form of discipline, it is as simple as instinct. it IS instinct. but if humanity has ANY hope of moving forward?

we HAVE to learn to give people the benefit of a doubt. we HAVE to learn to listen to each other, *actually* listen and hear *exactly* what others are saying. HAVE to learn to identify the difference between a differing *non-hostile* opinion and actual *intolerance*

because the world has already seen what happens when we FAIL and eventually we WILL run out of chances to get it right.

please at least TRY to give the benefit of the doubt in an appropriate situation.

i'll lead by example.

keys? even you. even now, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt DESPITE how you've treated me AND my friends now. because MAYBE you were actually key in the sketch and just having a bad day each time we interacted or MAYBE you have some sort of trauma getting triggered whenever you see my shit or we interact or whatever the fuck it could be, MAYBE you are feeling the pressures of a self discovery coming out journey and it's manifesting badly (yes i did notice that and if this is the case i would still wish you nothing but good will and luck with that, not sarcastic), or some combination, there's a million reasons and i don't know you, so i'm not going to assume or say anything for certain.

unlike some people.

but i don't think you're stupid. on the contrary, looking at your posts, my first 'assumption' was that you are actually very well educated and were just enjoying having fun and being silly. later and based on some things i saw, it occured to me that your education/upbringing may put you at odds or at a disadvantage with connecting with people online or having them understand you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, it just means you're speaking different languages.

even the "tough love" thing could be a miscommunication/malapropism. it could also be internal denial because you had a loved one do that to you and still haven't come to terms with the actual abuse you were experiencing because "they knew best"

i've been there. but maybe i'm the one who's projecting just to give you the benefit of a doubt. is it fair for me to take out my own frustrations on random people? fuck to the NO. which is why i TRY regularly to keep that shit in line and my life private.

so i absolutely will not excuse you for being so blatantly dishonest about me either behind my back or to my face because even if you do think i'm being hostile (when i'm not), there's no excuse for that. no, i wouldn't excuse myself either.

that needs to stop in a general sense, and i know you KNOW you are doing that because you'd have to *actually* be the biggest fucking illiterate moron on the planet to not know at this point.

especially when i reached out to you before to try and resolve this calmly and you ignored me and then continued lying about me, yucking it up with anons and buddies like high school mean girls. officially. unironically. instead of doing an ounce of self reflecting.

and i didn't include those messages, but the continued disingenuity and callous misrepresentation is there. and especially the carving into my character to define me however you want without giving me a voice to speak for myself.

stop it. you know it. i know it. maybe you think i'm some country bumpkin cousin hick fucker who happens to conveniently be queer but is remarkably stupid or an easy target.

and maybe i am stupid for ever giving you the benefit of a doubt, but you don't get to rob me of my humanity or basic courtesy.

because YOU'RE human too. and you have a right to your thoughts and feelings and opinions, and i get that, and i support it

even if by some fucking bizarre coocoo for cocoa puffs alternate reality, butchlander were to become canon the way I saw it? i wouldn't gloat or celebrate or try to rub it in your face.

I would encourage you to keep liking what you like and keep being yourself, maybe even harder than before.

even knowing you wouldn't do the same for me. at least from personal experience. see any of the above. and if you think i'm a self righteous prick for it, so fucking be it.

but if you're going to be an asshole? at least own the fuck up to it.

oh, and by the way? i now headcanon that billy butcher once a month puts on a full body gimp suit and with ball gag to do some strange kinda unholy shit with fruit OR veggies (never both), and it HAS to be a waning crecent moon, because i fucking can. and you can't stop me. ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gais... don't immediately assume hostility. please. i know tone can be hard to interpret through writing or typic and emojis help, and yeah, i know i can jump the gun too. but i try to take things told to me at face/basic value or read them in a neutral tone and i think it helps too.

but we should never be judging anyone before we know them.

#the boys #homelander #billy butcher #butchlander #bullying #abuse #trauma #hostile attribution bias #disinformation #dishonesty #disingenuous #fans behaving badly #psa #critical thinking #misrepresentation #human decency #shipping discourse #long post #kink shaming

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the-world-wont-listenn · 6 months

Text

Marauders head cannons!!!

Lily draws hearts as the dots above her i's

James would say "I'm just being a silly billy!" then stick out his tongue (okay drake)

Marlene's favorite Taylor swift song was getaway car and she'd literally pick up dorcas and run around carrying her bridal style singing it at the top of her lungs

sirius made loads of thirst traps but really shitty ones and Marlene bullied the living shit out of him calling him a dumb bitch and that he looked ugly and that she could see all 5 of his chins from that angle

Remus is Jewish and to show his support James once ran into the dorm with a tiny kipper on his head singing god save the queen thinking 100% that god save the queen was 'the Jewish national anthem'

James had a lisp for a week cause of a prank that went slightly too far and lily took the piss out of it every time that they argued and she would just randomly switch to a lisp and say stuff like "oh does wikkle jamesie not wike dat?" and she'd purposefully make it so she spat on him

sirius watched bluey until peter and mary bullied him out of it

"I'm a big strong man I can win Evans heart over!" "James last night you wore a purple onesie with tiny green dinosaurs on it the only heart your winning over is a child's, fucking pedophile" - Remus and james

James wears the footies onesies and remus bullies the living fuck out of him for it

James and sirius lost at theme park:

"uhm can 'my little Remus moony sugar pie plum' come to lost and found we have a special present waiting for you" "honest to GOD I can't take him ANYWHERE"

‘this anyones kid?’ ‘yes that is actually my boyfriend’ ‘…how old are you two.?’

"wait where's sirius and James?" "LILY ESCAPE WHILE WE STILL CAN"

' lily look how about we go on the ferris wheel instead of finding those two’ ‘you have amazing ideas’

sirius and James would be at the top waving down at them with cotton candy and 2 of those massive arse teddies that cost shit loads to win

sirius would have a wolf one and James would have a unicorn

James was obsessed with pokemon and he bought harry a Pikachu onesie and himself a Squirtle one and lily had an Evie one

Snape watching anime

James and sirius did too but they stopped as soon as they found out that Snape watched It aswell

they definitely did the Naruto run down the corridors while Remus and peter slowly died from embarrassment

"we don't know them wdym I've never heard of a specky lad called James or an unfairly attractive boy that may or may not be my boyfriend before whatttttt"

"Remus, sweetheart, darling, baby, love, hunny, don't try and lie to me I'm not particularly pleased that the other one is MY boyfriend but at least I'm taking responsibility for my own actions"

James is obsessed with prime

Remus is obsessed with orange lucozade and milk chocolate

James makes harry try his prime

‘That dead nice!’ He says while vomiting 😍

"so, what'd ya think pringle?" "mmmm really nice" "JAMES STOP FEEDING OUR CHILD YOUR WEIRD YOUTUBE JUICE"

Pringle - sirius started it and now James calls him it

lily calls him cute things like sweetheart and stuff but James calls him pringle and big hazza

"oi hazza, help your old man with these won't you" "James he's 3" "so? when I was 3 I was building myself a doll house!" *sirius in the background* "AHA FRUITY MOTHER FUCKER"

Remus got tickled alot when he was he so when someone tried to tickle him he’d just do that slow turn around and stare and James tried to imitate him but with his prime and he just looked stupid

James would say let's skaddadle and buckle up buttercup when someone makes him angry

James called lily sugar bunny once and lily broke his finger

and once when he was trying to be sexy he said "buckle up buttercup, it's going to be a bumpy ride" and lily removed James off of her, looked him in the eye and said "I'll be back in five minutes so I can recover and we're going to pretend this never happened."

then lily told sirius and sirius called him buttercup for ages

‘Oi buttercup! Cmre!’ ‘Huh? U mean remus? He isnt here ‘ ‘no you fucking nob’

"hey you wanna" *lip bite and awful attempt at a wink* "you know"

James is afraid of the word sex

if they had the internet james would post ‘Christmas haul 😇’ and Marlene would join in half way through to take the piss and in the end half of Hogwarts was showing off James' shit that he got and at the end Alice and lily held hands, bowed then just walked off

James would watch 1000 pound sisters and dance moms religiously

they did a nativity one year

Remus was the donkey

sirius was the baby jesus

James was pregnant mary and sirius was inside James shirt for half of it until he fell out and fell off the stage

cracked his head open but still went on with it and he was bleeding severely but he was still the best damn baby Jesus out there

and Minnie was the in keeper and Marlene was the inkeepers wife but she went all out for her one line

Marlene's line- "sorry love, no room here, you can stay at the barn if you'd like?" but she made a song to go with it and a choreographed dance team - made up of Severus, Dumbledore and 3 elves from the kitchens

and Alice was Joseph and from then on called sirius her little baby jesus

sirius had the nickname jesus for ages afterwards

Elves had a rap solo each

one time James and sirius were arguing over the best Taylor swift song (james-love story, sirius-anti hero) and then Remus walked in with chocolate and an orange lucozade singing bejeweled and Mary and peter were singing shake it off

peter was literally everywhere. everywhere you looked peter mfing pettigrew was there, most of the time singing shake it off like if you go to the great hall at around 2:30 at night on a Tuesday peter will be on the tables singing shake it off

Sirius can't speak french but is 100% convinced he's great at it.

He finds out he's 1/4 french and walks into the dorm wearing a beret and a baguette in his arms with a fake twirly mustache.

Remus can speak french and uses it for his own benefit.

"es-tu un pervers qui tripote des vers pendant qu'il dort" - are you a pervert that fiddles with wormy while he sleeps

Remus would use reddit religiously

Remus and lily were childhood friends due to both growing up in the same area (tho Remus is Welsh and lily is Scottish) and dancing around to Abba is still their favorite hobby

Remus-welsh

Lily-scottish

James-scouse

Peter-scottish

Sirius-posh british but 1/4 french (assmued that meant he was fully french and 'turned french' for like a week

Regulus- posh british but 1/4 french (actually bothered to learn french to get in touch with his french roots unlike sirius)

Marlene-northern

Alice-northern

Mary-southern

Lana del ray would put James into a coma

Peter used a ketchup bottle as a fake guitar once

James would randomly grab lily's leg while she was say down and use to as a fake guitar (when they were dating ofc)

Remus loved Bowie more than life itself

Karaoke nights in the gryffindor common room

When Remus was pissed off with sirius he would call him tampon rather than pads

Peters favorite horrible histories song was Pachacuti and he had a full choreographed dance for it

James favorite flavour of chocolate was white chocolate because he couldn't handle dark chocolate and milk was 'too basic'

James is the type of guy to say 'me me me me me' when he's snoring

At least once James was angry at snape and was abt to fight him and he said "someone hold me back!" then literally no one did

Sirius would randomly quote the most random stuff when he was stressed, for example, when sirius found out that Reggie got the dark mark he quoted dance moms on 3 occasions

"I had not choice, sirius!" "I cut my finger on my mom's ring, I hope I can still dance!" "Sirius shut the fuck up."

Sirius would play my singing monsters 24/7

If they were a band. Sirius is the singer. James is the guitarist. Remus plays the bass and Peter is the drums but Peter only knows shake it off so marlene stood in for him. Dorcas is the band manager and Mary and Peter watch rehearsal. Lily doesn’t bother with that crap but to support James she plays keyboard sometimes

James wanted to be the singer but sirius said he wanted to be it cause he'd be at "the front and he'd be the eye candy for the girls" Then he’d wink at remus

"the marauders and sirius" “no it’s Sirius and the marauders “ "sirius why do you need to be specifically mentioned" "because I'm special" Then him and James would argue over Sirius’s name being first "ITS SIRIUS AND THE MARAUDERS" "ITS LOVE STORY." "ANTI-HERO."

Go-to insults

Peter: fatty

Sirius: numpty, plonker

James: cheeky spaz, jizz face

Remus: idiot or something really personal

Reactions to someone calling peter fat

Remus: he's not fat he's just plus sized

James: he's not fat he's just big boned

Sirius: he's not fat he's just a big boy (whacks peters belly as he says big boy)

Mary McDonald:

- came from a caribbean single parent immigrant home

- helped raise all her siblings as the eldest daughter so had a complex about never having children

- was estatic about coming to hogwarts each year but constantly feels guilty leaving her mother to do everything on her own

- loved traditionally feminine things & was gryffindor seeker

- came off as brash & egotistical, it was really just a cover for her insecurities

- struggled to come to terms with her asexuality after immense racially targeted sexualisation from her peers

- looked out for people

- lit up a room with her laughter

- very funny

- fashionable

- spoke her mind & for that reason was stereotyped as loud & abrasive

- often felt separated from her culture so tried her best to embrace it & share it with her friends

- was very chill about realising she liked girls

- observant & emotionally intelligent, it made her scarily good at reading ppl & knowing what to say to hurt them when she's mad

- made it a point to not make the same mistake twice

- didn't join the order after remembering dumbledore's actions (or lack thereof) after her attack

- peters bff

Lily Evans:

- was petunia's "weird sister" for most of her childhood because of her quietness & lack of interest for boys & getting married

- craves their big sister's approval

- was anti-social her first year at hogwarts out of guilt for being there when her sister couldnt be

- stopped hiding in petunia's shadow at some point & reinvented herself as the noble head girl most remember her as

- projected an image of being perfect & hid the darker more selfish parts of themselves away as she feared everyone would leave her if they saw

- was not perfect

- often felt pressured by people's expectations of her to do the right thing

- struggled with depression

- always seemed so wise but never truly knew what to do

- considered going back to snape many times as they felt he was the only one they could be their true self around

- fought comphet valiantly

- was NOT overjoyed about having a kid in the middle of the war

- battled the urge to run away & leave everything behind more than once

- died hiding a huge secret part of herself so dumbledore could sell an image of a courageous matyr to the world

Marlene McKinnon:

- was friends with james & peter growing up

- had a completely innocent crush on effie as a child & teenager

- rivaled james in their love for quidditch

- extremely competitive and determined to best everyone in everything, takes silly games way too seriously but it's endearing

- struggled coming to terms with their sexuality & identity as they grew older

- often felt isolated from their female peers when they couldn't relate to them when they talked about boys

- struggled with feeling perverted when female friends would get comfortable around them

- fought more with not liking boys than liking girls

- their parents' relationship issues at home made them go through a dark phase in sixth year

- became snappy & temperamental, lost interest in quidditch, fought with dorcas alot

- started wearing leather jackets & dark eye makeup

- after years of struggling to identity crisis, they eventually found themselves

- they regained some of their brightnesw, but still kept their style, often traded clothes with sirius with how similiarly they dressed

- was eventually murdered by a long time friend

Dorcas meadows:

-despite her high status as a rich pureblood, she defyed slytherin stereotypes with her progressives views on blood status

- her dismissal of blood hierachy were partly shaped by her experiences as a black witch because being pureblood unfortunately didn't save her from racism

- she was conscious of her temper & presented herself in a practiced way, understanding how being dark-skinned & black could affect how she's perceived

- was elegant, poised & remarkably fashionable

- could cut ppl like a knife with her words without even raising her voice

- had a motherly nature to her & always looked out for first years

- even non slytherins respected & admired her

- it wasn't until marlene was kiIIed that she lost all her elegance & control & went batshit insane, no longer caring about getting herself dirty

Alice Fortescue:

-lily's role model

- herbology queen

- kind & loving but no pushover

- wise beyond her years

- talented at balancing being responsible & having fun

- more of a trouble maker than people gave them credit for

Pandora lovegood:

- grew up in the woods with her paranoid grandmother surrounded by more magical creatures than people

- had a tendency to ask sudden philosophical questions, only regulus could keep up

- polite but extremely detached from her social surroundings

- sweet to those she really liked

- had a comforting presence but was much darker than people assumed

- intelligent in a mad scientist way

- rules & concern for her life never stopped her from experimenting with dark magic

- had really thought she had the hang of it when trying to destroy the horcrux

- she didn't

Remus and lily had choreographed dances to most Abba songs and when they were played at her wedding they both still preformed them though lily was in heals and sirius and James were absolutely gobsmacked and just watched in amazement

Things that would send walburga in to a coma

-sirius' hair in poa

-either of her kids liking men

-james potter in general

-sirius dating a half-blood

-muggle-borns actually being good at magic

-lesbians

-marlene.

-remus being a werewolf

-gingers

-peter

-american girl dolls

-pirates of the caribbean

-jeggings

-james Corden

-ellen de generous

-barbie princess and the pauper

-that one scene in were the millers where they pretend that drugs are their baby (also the one where Kenny got bit by a tarantula)

-max stani

-raisins

-skinny jeans

-shark boy and lavq girl

-michael cera

-the barbie movie

-love actually

Peter is the BIGGEST 1d fan (rock me was his favorite)

James always has his feet out

Lily's favorite Christmas film was love actually

Dorcas' fav colour was orange/yellow

Alice and Frank as the olive theory but like not really cause they both loved olives but frank lied about it cause Alice was so happy when they fit the olive theory

James had a Lego collection

Sirius had a shit poker face

James once broke 4 bones trying to do a back hand spring (sirius did it perfectly first try)

Sirius can't stay still when he's sleeping ending in Remus with LOTS of bruises

All of them (the marauders + the girls + frank) played a massive game of hide and seek all throughout Hogwarts and peter went missing for three days

James but as the 'drakes the kinda guy' trend.

Marlene calls James her little white boy

Parental issues:

Sirius: issues

Marlene: mummy

James: mostly daddy but he's chill with both

Peter: single mum

Remus: daddy issues (mums dead)

Lily: sister issues

Alice: happy family

Dorcas: happy family

Mary: divorced parents but happy with both

Frank: closer with his mum

Mary and peter play hello kitty island adventure

James is a girl dad

Lily is a boy mum

Fav ts song:

James: love story (tv)

Sirius: anti hero

Remus: bejeweled

Peter: shake it off

Mary: Betty

Marlene: getaway car

Lily: paper rings

Alice: All too well (tv)

Dorcas: champagne problems

The girls did a ranking of all the boys based on looks and personality and they put James and sirius at the bottom to piss them off but just above James they put Snape to spite James. Frank and peter were at the top.

Fancasts

James: Aaron Taylor Johnson

Sirius: Ben barnes

Remus: Andrew Garfield

Peter: lewis capaldi

Regulus: Timotheè chalamet

Lily: Sophie Skelton

Marlene: bebadoobe

Dorcas: Janelle osei-tutu

Mary: Sofia Bryant

Alice: young winnona Ryder

Frank: Jim sturgess

Snape: Louis Garrel

Barty: young David Tennant

Peter is lactose intolerant but eats the most dairy

#marauders headcanons #the marauders #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #mary macdonald #alice fortescue #frank longbottom #severus snape #sirius and regulus #regulus black #barty crouch jr #i love the marauders

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cat-downthestreet · 27 days

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Hey ladies! People with uteruses, women, AFAB people, however you'd like to be called. It doesn't really matter for this post; all that matters is that you have a menstrual cycle, because that's what affects this particular thing.

Also, be prepared for extreme cringe. I swear I have a really good and positive point to make here, I just happen to be cheesy and sappy and it rubbed off on this post.

So, today I read a couple comments online and felt a little inspired to make a post that I would've liked to see when I was in my teens. Here's my little nugget of wisdom:

You know the little bump on your stomach? That part that always seems to be missing in photos of women's stomachs and drawings of female characters? It's not always missing, we're getting better about that as a society, but you know what I mean. The little bit of fat that sticks out and makes your stomach seem less flat than you think it should be. I call it the Chub.

A lot of teenage girls spend their time in front of a mirror wondering if this is normal. "Is my stomach too fat?" "Do I need to exercise more?" "Am I eating too much?"

And believe me, I know what that's like. In the ninth grade, while enduring extreme bullying, I spent many weeks skipping meals a bit more than usual because I didn't know my body was normal. I thought the little bit of fat I had there was from laziness and gluttony, and not something natural. And mind you, I was already underweight. My frame and body type always makes it seem like I'm malnourished even when 115-135 pounds is a natural weight for me and people in my family. But during that time, I was trying to get my weight down to 100. It didn't help with the other thoughts in my head, thoughts that were telling me the world was better off without me. So I kept going without food, trying to get my weight down.

In the end, I survived. I was okay. I started eating more and moved to a better place, where I met some great friends and got a fresh start at a new high school.

But teenage me didn't know that it was normal for a teenage girl to have a bit of fat on my stomach.

How many teenage girls are out there right now, wondering the same thing without knowing how natural and healthy it is to have that extra cushioning on their stomachs?

If there are any teenagers reading this post, please remember this:

The Chub is completely natural to have and is even a sign of health!

It has a special purpose too: protecting your vital organs, especially the reproductive system. It's meant to keep what's in there safe, regardless of whether or not you intend on using that system. And it's completely normal to have, in fact, most AFAB people develop it around puberty!

(Quick side note: natural doesn't necessarily mean universal. Trans men often lose the Chub during HRT, and trans women gain it. Also, not every AFAB or transfem person will gain it in the first place.)

So then there's probably a nagging question in your mind: what size is a normal size for the Chub?

It's a little complicated, but that's only because the size fluctuates so frequently throughout your life that the answer doesn't lie in a one-size-fits-all type of deal. Especially since the reasons for why these fluctuations happen are varied among individuals and rarely universal.

So, here's a quick and easy guide to All The Things That Affect Chub Size!

The Chub may seem larger than usual if you put on a little weight over, say, a long break (which happened to me a lot in high school), or if your cycle sometimes comes with a bit of bloating or weight gain. Sometimes the Chub will get bigger just because you had a nice meal one night, and by the next day, it'll be small again. Stress can also make the Chub larger, just like how stress affects your menstrual cycle.

Your cycle- and, by proxy, the Chub- can also change due to the season or time of day, or even whether you've moved to a new place, made changes to your diet, or started a new big thing in your life.

The point I'm making is, the Chub will change a lot throughout your life. It's not going to go away, and it's not something you can get rid of by exercising or starving yourself. In fact, trying to get rid of extra fat like that- the starving, I mean- is extremely unhealthy and will only cause more pain for you. Exercise is good in moderation and with care. As long as you're doing it safely and not because you want to lose weight you don't need to, that's fine. But that won't get rid of the Chub either, because you'll still have it- just in the form of abdominal muscles that become more prominent as you exercise.

(This is not to say that overweight- or worse, obese people should not exercise to lose weight. I'm just saying that unless a doctor says you need to exercise to lose weight, you shouldn't be trying to lose weight by exercising. You don't need to lose the weight in the first place. Getting into shape could help make you feel more confident, though, so if you're exercising for that reason, go right ahead! But again, moderation and care are important. Make sure your body isn't suffering while you do it.)

And remember: the Chub is normal. Having a little extra cushioning anywhere is normal. It only becomes a problem when it's a threat to your health. Trust your doctors first and foremost when it comes to healthy weight. They know what they're doing, and if you really do need to change something to lose weight or anything like that, THEY WILL TELL YOU. Otherwise, you are fine.

Conclusions:

You are beautiful if you have the Chub. You are beautiful if your Chub also includes stomach rolls. If you don't have a Chub, that's fine, too! It's also okay if your Chub is a little small, or a little big. And it's okay if your Chub isn't limited to your stomach.

A little bit of fat is healthy, no matter where it is. The golden rule is, as long as it doesn't affect your health or well-being, it is okay to be a little chubby in some places.

And finally:

You don't have to love your Chub, but you should always remember that it's important to your health.

Take care.

#body positive #body postivity #sooo... i really need people to see this and hear what i have to say but idk what tags to use #any ideas?#sorry if this sounds like someone just fishing for clout #i honestly just think people need to know that it's okay to be a little chubby #sigh

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forffax · 3 months

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returning the favor with oc asks since i always wanna hear about yours !! if you had to pick like your top 5 favorite characters who would they be and why 👀 bonus if you want to pick your favorite like settings/worlds/universes youve made for ocs too!

OOOUH thank u chase!!!

I'm gonna list out my favs then talk abt my main oc universe a bit ^_^

This got ridiculously long so it's going under a readmore <3

1. Tos Family (sorry this is going to be. the whole family bc I cannot possibly choose between them)

i. Lux Tos (he/him)

(realizing now i haven't drawn him in a hot fuckin minute)

MY DAD. guy of all time ever. everyone's favorite half-human time traveling alien war vet. it always feels weird referring 2 him as part alien even if it's technically true sdjfgs. fun lore fact: he was the Dead Older Brother in original iteration Zephyr's Sad Backstory but I liked him too much so I decided he got to live <3

Lux is one of my older ocs that I still actively draw and think abt (late middle school...) and he's changed a LOT over the years but he's so so so dear to me. my guy who has Seen the Horrors and is now happily gay married with a kid :') sdfkjsk most things abt his story is just me being So Incredibly Self Indulgent (cool powers, complicated sibling relationships, gay) but it makes me happy and I love sharing it with ppl! Someday Voided 2 will be real and ready to share with the world...

ii. Ferdinand Tos (he/him)

Dad....2!!!!!! I don't remember when exactly I thought him up but it was probably around when Lux's backstory was getting a major overhaul... He's a man out of time he's training to be a doctor and his will to live is so strong he spent the better part of nearly two decades building himself a new body! Guys who died but got better <3. I think I literally got brain blasted one day and decided he's a non-op trans man and it was the best thing ever for him actually. He's a southern californian stuck in the cold northwest (probably. either that or the northeast im not settled on that aspect yet skdjfs). He's been super fun to write from a worldbuilding perspective too bc his main goal is to pioneer a new branch of medicine using his powers! His relationship with Lux and the rest of the family (and his reconciliation with his sister) is sooooo important 2 me :]

iii. Athanasius Tos (she/her)

THANAAAAA most normal sibling (lie). She was adopted formally right after Lux "died" and had a bit of a complex about just being a "replacement" for a good while, and she THOUGHT she had worked through that when Lux suddenly re-appeared... they're on great terms now but it was Tense. She's a biochemist and probably makes the most out of the household (she shares an apartment with Zeph!) It's very important 2 me that she can let herself be vulnerable with her family and close friends after years of bottling everything up... Epic nerdy autistic butches in your area <3 Fun fact she is the only full human of the main cast!

iv. Zephyr Tos (she/him)

My fuckign auncle. Within the story she only recently realized he was bigender and is much happier for it, even if you couldn't tell by her permanent scowl skjdfgs. Zeph was the original protag (along with Thana) of the short story I wrote in middle school that turned into Voided 2! In-universe he was very clearly supposed to be the protag but missed/ignored the "call to action" phase and just got a shitton of Issues and Traumas instead <3 She's so everything 2 me he's a freelance writer/artist she's kinda cringe and he is trying only as hard as she absolutely needs to in order to get by. While his relationship with Lux is MUCH better than it was when Lux first came back, she's completely inseparable from Thana and would do anything for her (I feel like they spent equal times protecting each other from bullies as kids...) He's changed so much from her original incarnation but developing him has been SO much fun <3 Since Voided 2 runs on real-world time (in that I have specific real-world dates for most major events) she turned 50 fairly recently and that's fucked but also funny. old.

v. Alan Tos (any)

Alan! Love this kiddo. He's Lux and Ferdinand's adoptive kid! Xe doesn't learn about it for a while but she was a government secret experiment test-tube baby (they were trying to artificially fuse souls together, distantly related to the later Child Soldier School ze was placed into) (kid cannot catch a break). He's a good kid, if not a little clueless and naive... someone who would hold no ill-will if you had to cut their leg off (this is not a hypothetical GJSKDS). Somehow, despite all this, she is by far the most Normal out of xer family <3 His fashion sense is some kind of spectrum between 60s businesswoman and scene and tbh? Very fun to draw! Her friends and family are very very dear to them and at the moment xe's just kind of letting life take zem wherever.

2. Vague (it/they)

unauthorized fucking thing kill it with hammers NOW!!!!!

Vague started as I think just a proxy for myself in vent art I drew in like early high school sdhjfgds they have since become. something. my mascot I guess? (I still end up using it for vent art sometimes bc it's functionally unkillable and it's fun 2 get narsty sometimes.)

originally it was just the weird cat-shaped angel thing but a couple years ago I gave them a human design that I really love too <3 vague technically has a place in Niko and my other cat furry ocs' story but their human form exists in the real world and is just Like That i think. vague is just a little guy okay? they're sorry about crying and bleeding all over the place (not bc it sees any issue with this they just noticed you looked upsetskjdfhs)

3. Niko (he/they)

Baby's first fursona! Niko was always mostly his own character but now that I have new This is Just Me sona(s), they've been officially retired from that front <3 Niko's story is mostly planned out, I just desperately need to write it somewhere skjdbfs but the gist is that Niko works a shitty minimum wage call center job and finds meaning and love through forming a band with people he happens to meet... also there's some whistleblowing and betrayal and vague slams down out of the sky at some point <3 Niko's band doesn't have a name but they're the lead vocalist! (Niko 🤝 Blue (is blue and sings in their band)) This is a universe where everyone is cat furries simply bc I wanted to design lots of cat furries but also I haven't drawn like half of his bandmates/friends.... orz

Fun fact I found my original doodles of him in an old math notebook and apparently I seriously considered the name "chandler" for them. Help,

4. Larkspur (they/them)

Laaark my friend lark :] they're my player character for a friend's tabletop campaign! *hands you a bug* *hands you a bug* *hands-

Their design was super fun to come up with and they're fun to play as :] They were raised on a farm and have a deep love for animals (insects in particular), but they have a hard time connecting with others and understanding why people act the way they do.. They wear an eyepatch to cover their multiple other eyes bc it gives them bad sensory overload to see with them! They also spent quite a bit of time as a bounty hunter before they were blacklisted from further work bc they let a target escape on purpose... Lark is a ranger/bard and they play the hurdy-gurdy! They're dear to me and I really need to draw them more sjdfhgs

5. Chungy Fresh (she/he/they)

Chungy my belungy.... she's a mimic who spent most of his life being a chest in the temple of a forgotten goddess until they gained sentience and saw a fursuit from far away and decided yep! I'm gonna look like that Now <3 She didn't get all the details right but he's never been happier! I think Chungy spawned from me drawing a weird fox thing and simultaneously thinking "hey wouldn't it be funny if a character had a verbal text/forum signature and it was also their name" skdjfgjskdfls. Chungy is def up there with "most fun ocs of mine to draw" bc she's so Noodly and Malleable... I started playing as him in a friend group's tabletop oneshot thingy (where multiple ppl write different unrelated oneshots but we use the same characters for each session) and it has been a lot of fun!

OKAY OC UNIVERSE TIME. I call my main oc story "Voided 2" bc it takes place in the same universe as my v personal self insert oc story "Voided" that I have been working on/writing/thinking abt since late middle school... It's kinda vaguely modern fantasy/sci-fi? Main things are that there are beings born at the beginning of the universe made of pure energy called Lunoirs. There are countless universes, and each universe has Lunoirs in some capacity. They mainly exist to "keep the balance," but if you ask any specific Lunoir what that means you'll get a million different answers. Mainly they gravitate towards any life within their universe and integrate with them, observing them and protecting them from Shadows and Vacares. Shadows are the unliving souls that will eventually be reborn and reformed into a living soul inside any given universe-- they exist in the space between universes, called the Void. the Void looks different to any being that crosses into it, and it's hard to say what its "true" nature is. Vacares are Lunoirs that have had their souls corrupted and eaten, usually by other Vacares. While Shadows, being amalgamations of soul energy, are strictly neutral, Vacares seek to cause chaos and eat more Lunoir souls, increasing their numbers in a vain attempt to satisfy their endless hunger.

The Lunoir population on Earth is fairly numerous, and since Lunoirs can take on whatever form they choose, many of them live and love and have children with humans, making partial-lunoir children (physically they are nearly indistinguishable from full humans, save for longer lifespans, odd hair and eye colors, and sharper teeth. also they have semi-physical wings, but these have to be manually brought out and often ppl don't even know they have them (*cough* zephyr *cough*)

Lunoirs aren't fully immortal, but they have a different life cycle to most other forms of life. When a non-lunoir dies, their soul disintegrates and is amalgamated with the souls of others in the Void to become Shadows. When a Lunoir dies (outside of having their soul completely corrupted/destroyed), they instead go into a sort of stasis and are reborn later; they have no memories of their previous life (the ones on Earth don't, at least) and they can take on wildly different appearances.

Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs have powers in the form of energy manipulation, particularly when it comes to the energy of their own souls... They can use their souls to form weapons, mainly to fight against Vacares that tend to be immune to physical weapons. Most people have one weapon that they specialize in, but in a pinch nearly everyone can form a knife. Humans can manipulate their own soul energy in this way too, but this ability must be taught/"unlocked" by a Lunoir or a partial Lunoir first (Zephyr, at some point, did this for Thana without either of them realizing it). Lunoirs can also manipulate the energy of the very universe to create Rifts in time and space, sometimes leading between separate universes... These rifts also open of their own accord from time to time, and there's a good number of people who have been displaced from their time or even their universe by unwittingly falling into one.

Every living being has a "soul" (a collection of their life energy), and through a kind of "reaching out," one can feel/taste/smell/hear/see another's soul... every soul is a bit different, so this is an easy way to identify people even from a distance!

The Earth Lunoirs once had a country where they congregated called Saluria, which was the site of a brutal multi-year war against an army of Vacares that wanted reign over Earth... Many Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs across all of Earth's history felt drawn to Saluria, often willingly or unwillingly being rifted to the time of the war to go fight in it... Some partial Lunoirs especially believed it was their sacred duty, while others believed it was a curse leading them to inevitable death... there's even whispers that Saluria itself is alive, luring in young partial and full Lunoirs out of self-preservation.. who's to say. Ultimately, the Salurian War was a victory, but not an easy one.

Lux and Zephyr are half Lunoirs (their mom being full), and Ferdinand is 3/4ths Lunoir! Alan is a bit of a weird case but functionally he's also half Lunoir :]

This is v much simplifying Years of worldbuilding ssjhdfgjks and I can FEEL I missed a bunch of stuff but it's all very very dear 2 me :]

#THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASK SORRY THIS IS LIKE A MILE LONG <3 #matoitech #my ocs #long post #if u (or anyone else) has any questions abt the Voided universe worldbuilding stuff feel free to ask i love going nuts abt it <3 #my art #txt #blood #eyestrain #<- mostly for the chungy pic sjdfhgs #ask games

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thedreadvampy · 2 years

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not to be a dick but if you've been through actual university level art school and you still think that it's unreasonable bullying to be asked to push yourself or experiment with different art styles or to have aspects of your artwork criticised by people you asked for an opinion. what was the point of art school for you exactly?

when people say shit like 'my art school tutors told me my art was bad bc it was too anime and cartoonish ☹️' that may be true but I'm not gonna lie what I suspect happen is they told you 'you should work on developing a solid foundation for any art style you choose by pushing yourself to try more representational art Anne getting comfortable with ways of seeing and understanding images' and what you heard is 'NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO DRAW CARTOONS EVER AND YOUR WORK IS WORTHLESS'

and furthermore I suspect that you were really annoying in crits and took any even slightly negative comment or suggestion as a personal attack even though literally the point of art school is to learn to take and grow from constructive advice from your peers.

shout out to the girl on my undergrad who burst into tears literally every crit for three years even though about the nastiest thing anyone said to her was 'it might look cleaner if you rubbed out any of your pencil lines after inking and also used a clean rubber while sketching.' and guess whose art didn't improve at all over three years and whose technique actively got sloppier while other people were moving forward in leaps and bounds? yeah.

there were people who started uni as the best in the class and ended as some of the worst bc they just weren't prepared to listen to criticism or change how they did anything. and there were people who started out very mediocre and went on to produce incredible professional work to a high standard bc they listened and were open to change. and that's got nothing to do with who was more painterly and who was more cartoony or whatever it's just. when you ask advice and get something you don't want to hear do you chew on it and try it out or do you dig your heels in and do more of the same?

and like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with sticking to your guns and doing art the way you want to do art and the way that brings you joy. I'm just saying if you don't want feedback, teaching or advice on how to improve I'm really not sure what the benefit of art school is that you couldn't get several thousand pounds cheaper by staying home and drawing there.

(and I'm also saying if you come out of art school like BOOHOO NOBODY LIKES MY STYLE AND MY ART IS WORTHLESS you might. need to pull yourself together and say either I'm committed to this style regardless of whether people like it and I'm going to keep building on this style and make it amazing, or I want to make art that's more like the work people like and I value, what could I change to get more where I want to go? but if you lie down and say waaaaaah it's so unfair that my art is bad and everyone else is just more talented than me then bullshit. by the time you've graduated art school talent is not the deciding factor in the quality of your work. it's a question of your willingness and capacity to put the work in, take criticism, understand what you want to achieve, and slog through trying and failing to get a certain effect until it improves. professional level art is not an innate talent it's a trained skill, and some people might start further along the path than others bc of their talent, eye or training, but the distance between someone who's talented but unpractised and someone who's less talented but puts a lot of thought and work in closes extremely rapidly. it can be disheartening but if you want to do this professionally rather than for yourself you gotta feel your frustration, have a good scream and cry about it, then get back in to figuring out what you need to build on. bc we're all guilty of sometimes going HOWEVER HARD I WORK I'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS MY PEERS but no offence if you just lie down and give up where does that get you? if you just start going 'actually you should all feel bad for not liking my work more' instead of making your work more appealing or finding the right audience for it, that's on you not on anyone else. what was the point of art school????)

#needless bitching time #i just. i don't understand why you'd pay thousands of pounds a year to get constructive feedback #and then spend the year treating any feedback as a personal attack #save your money my guy of you want to do it on your own and you don't think other people have anything to tell you #then don't pay 6 grand a year to not listen to other people's advice #saw three consecutive art posts on here of ppl being like MY TUTORS TOLD ME NOT TO DO ANIME ART BC THEY JUST DON'T GET ME #WHY ARE ALL MY PEERS DOING BETTER THAN ME DESPITE US ALL GRADUATING AT THE SAME TIME #friends it's not bc you do anime art it's bc they tried new things and learnt new skills and you dug your heels in bc anime is What You Do #but like. successful cartoonists and anime artists are ppl who've at least had a crack at life drawing and realism #to know what they're stylising and how #I'm sure there's some teachers going NO ANIME EVER but I'm p sure most of your tutors were actually saying #don't just do anime bc it's what you know how to do. try other styles bc even if you're bad at them you'll learn something #it's not just anime like. ppl who come in only doing photorealism are pushed to stylise more.#you should be pushed out of your comfort zone. different styles. different media. that's not where you're being asked to END UP.#it's a LEARNING PROCESS #like a lot of my direct tutelage was like. pushing me to do looser more gestural blockier art #use an a6 piece of paper and a fat marker pen for life drawing #or no lines only blocks of shadow #or use a 3 colour palette with no midtones #or draw 30 thumbnails in a minute #and the art i made like that SUUUUUUUUUCKED. and it's meant to. it's not meant to be how you work from now on.#it's meant to help you identify what you're missing and where your blind spots are #and what you can incorporate into your work moving forward #red said

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strawberryspence · 2 years

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Because I hate myself I kept thinking of sad Steddie things.

So, after everything with Vecna, Steve asks Eddie out. He's come to terms with the fact he is bi and stupid in love with Eddie. Like Steve fell hard and he fell fast so once Eddie is recovered and up and about, Steve asks. It's a lazy warm evening, they are hanging out sharing a joint. It's a peaceful moment and Steve turns to face Eddie and gives him this soft smile. "Go out with me?"

It takes Eddie a moment to process the question but his gut reaction isn't the one Steve is hoping for. Instead Eddie laughs "are you crazy?" Despite everything, Eddie still has some hang ups about ol' King Steve. "Do you have any idea how miserable your little posse made me in high school? The things they said to me about dating guys? Fuck no."

And wow that sobers him up real quick and cuts him to his core. Despite everything that they had gone through Eddie doesn't trust him and Steve doesn't blame him. Steve never partook in Eddie's bullying but he didn't stop it but he thought that maybe after Eddie seeing he had changed things would be different. But it turns out he's just the same asshole he was before. "Right. Right. I-" he stumbles over words because what was he thinking. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. " And then he leaves. He just packs up his stuff and drives back to his empty home to crawl into his bed and he thinks of all the people he loved that he hurt. Nancy comes to mind and yeah, she is right. Everything he is, is bullshit. And so starts the song and dance of avoiding Eddie. He doesn't sit close to Eddie anymore, doesn't braid his hair, doesn't encroach on his space, doesn't draw attention Eddie's attention to him. But that doesn't stop him from pining and doing things on his own. He'll gather little rocks that he thinks Eddie would like, or stops and buys a little knick knack that he knows would make the other laugh, writes little notes to him: Your hair looks nice today. Or I hope your day goes well. But especially I love you.

But

Eddie never sees them. They all go in a little wooden box that gets shoved under his bed. Steve knows it's not healthy but it's really hard for him to let this go because it's hard to fall out of love. Especially since falling in love was the only thing that felt right in his life, didn't make him feel so alone, it didn't make that void in his chest so cold.

Steve masks really well. The kids don't know, Nancy doesn't know. Even Robin doesn't know, at least Steve doesn't think she does. And after a while of masking, it becomes really easy to believe his lie that he is okay. It becomes easier to come to terms with the fact that he's always going to be an asshole and it becomes easier to realize he doesn't deserve love. That doesn't stop him from crying at night, curled up in bed when noone can see his mask crumble.

And he'll get up in the morning, pretend that his feelings for Eddie aren't there, put his patchwork mask back on and try to make it through another day.

i have to admit this was sitting on my inbox for about 4 days because i had no idea what to say. i read this the first time and i immediately teared up. 😭

i dont have anything to add, not when you've sent me a masterpiece that had me crying.

one thing tho: eddie munson if i see you on the streets, its on SIGHT. FISTS UP WE'RE GOING TO BRAWL. 🥊

#I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS TINY GIFT IVE ALREADY THANK YOU BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS ISNT ENOUGH #daerants #dae talks #bobatea talks #steddie rants #steddie

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rayasland · 27 days

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I'm sorry but your post about Aging Up characters delegitimises hundreds upon thousands of fanfictions across all fandoms and is a ridiculous ask. You're basically asking all fans to only write about the adult characters in NSFW situations - even if the teen character is now an adult in the fic??? So we can't explore how the teen now struggles with life as an adult, including new adventures or settings, because its somehow problematic??? I can assure you authors aren't picturing kids when writing Aged Up fics, the point and the intent is to explore how they'd function in different/challenging situations, not if their homework needs to be in on time. I understand your intent- you're coming at this topic from a place of worry- but bullying fanfic writers is just going to silence all forms of fandom. We're cannibalising each other enough as it is, and your words are doing more harm than good

uve completely got it all wrong. ur saying u understand but ur sending this long ass paragraph and that says otherwise. im actually getting pissed.

how is bringing attention to smth thats been happening for a while now gonna be labelled as “bullying..?” a bit confusing. im not forcing no one to stop writing abt minors, if u wanna live ur life writing about kids despite knowing its pedophilic, do as u wish. like i said im 1. bringing to light how wrong it is 2. seeing how many ppl will agree. im not bullying anyone either so idk wtf ur on abt. all i can say abt that is that u must be real fucking sensitive if u think that was bullying bro. cannot wait to see how u react to real life bullying!

i cant even lie how u gon write a paragraph of pure yap😭😭

its okay to write kid characters experiencing real life things that could happen to literally anyone(non-sexual), i never said u couldnt. whats not okay and what i completely disagree on is blatantly writing porn about them. "i understand your intent!" mm sure, and i understand what you’re saying is that its okay to write them having sex?? bc it's something that they can "explore as an adult"? you’re okay with a child experiencing that? regardless of whether they're real or not??? honestly you’re js trying to justify ur weird ass behaviour and its as clear as day. also… tbh, why r u acting as if sexual activities are the only ways a minor aged up as an adult can explore or wtf that means??? pretty sure theres a million other ways so maybe get ur mind out of the gutter.

tf was the point of that message? that why you asked anonymously? bc YOU YOURSELF know posting that is pedophilic behavior disguised behind ur so called moral ambiguity by bringing in other shit that only justifies writing porn about A CHILD??

u wanna be dramatic about "bullying fanfic writers," "cannibalizing each other," and my words doing more harm than good? how about you get a fucking life you self righteous pedophile. like okay, sure fine we'll let it slide. and then we should let real-person fictional literature porn about a child slide. and then we should let porn videos and drawings of little kids slide. and then we should normalize minor + adult relationships so that everyone can have a chance regardless of their age because experiencing something is better because it makes both parties understand!

in all forms!! incest, pedophilic, power imbalances, rape from randoms on the street, in our schools, in the transports, out in public, in private, in our homes, when we're young! when we're old! when we don't know what's between anyone else's legs! they a boy? they a girl? they both? they none? even better! honestly if ur reading that kinda shit and r actually getting off to it, please seek help. and if u STILL after reading all this have no idea why its not okay, use google or read the comments and reblogs on the actual post and go talk nonsense at them bc im not going to be responding to whatever bs u have to say in response.

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demadogs · 2 years

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am i the only one that doesn’t have hope anymore? like at all? i don’t trust the duffers anymore and i feel like us(the bylers) created all this byler thing in our heads and we just looked too much into the details in the show :(

i dont blame you for not having hope bc volume 2 for byler definitely was a disappointment and i understand not wanting to look between the lines of the monologue and get hopes up only to be disappointed again but DO NOT think we just made all this up!! if byler doesnt happen i genuinely think that it was their plan originally and then they trashed it.

its not like theres two or three potential hints towards it. there are dozens and dozens of clues and subtext from the dialogue and actions of the characters but also the cinematography, the lighting, the score and tracks they use, the parallels to other couples on the show, the placement of their characters, and probably so much more we havent even noticed yet. we did not make anything up.

after volume 2 i wasnt that sad or mad because more than anything i was just VERY confused. because none of mike wheelers actions make sense unless hes deeply struggling with internalized homophobia. there will be genuine plotholes in the whole show if they stick with mlvn til the end.

lets look at mikes actions alone. can you answer ANY of these questions with an answer thats NOT related to his sexuality?

why did mike not let el touch her when they were kissing at the beginning of s3?

why did he say “its not my fault you dont like girls” if thats not projecting?

why did he say he loves her out loud to everyone else but then pretend he didnt know what she was talking about when she brought it up again?

why did he look so confused when el kissed him and said she loves him and why did he keep his eyes open and didnt kiss her back at all?

why didnt mike have any indication of even having a gf in his room besides the letter we saw him read, while el had a whole shrine and a “book of letters” from him? why did, instead, mike have wills drawings up all over the basement and has a while binder for them that we saw in s1. book of drawings.

WHY on earth wouldnt mike hug his best friend who he hasnt seen in months at the airport? its not because he knows wills feelings, the duffers and finn and the script itself have confirmed hes oblivious to his sexuality and feelings for him.

why did mike look so nervous to ask will about the painting? if it was just because their friendship was kinda dying i think he would have said it as if he was bored or didnt care but instead he looked like he cared a little too much and was trying to hide it. this is right after reading el’s letter that said that will might be painting for a girl.

why did mike barely even look at el as they were walking out of the airport and why did he wear something very different for mike as if he’s portraying someone he’s not?

why would mike emphasize so much “WE’RE FRIENDS!!! we’re friends!” will didnt mean it in a romantic context but mike took it that way.

why was mike kinda an asshole to el and didnt comfort her after the bullies at the rink? “she didnt look fine?” what the hell.

WHY COULDNT MIKE SAY OR WRITE THAT HE LOVES EL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT SCENE IF HE ACTUALLY GENUINELY DOES LOVE HER??? why didnt he say it right then if he did?

why was that “i feel like i lost you” scene so god damn flirty? he’s never looked at el the way he looked at him here.

why did he nod when will told him that its scary to open up to people especially if they dont like the truth? why did finn say that this “psyches him out”?

why did mike say “its not fate, its not destiny, its just simple dumb luck” about first meeting el and then claim to her that the moment he say her in the woods was love at first sight? we know that this is a blatant lie and will should know this too.

why did mike look at will like THAT during the painting scene!!!??? (i will admit tho this could be finn wolfhard just wanting his character to be gay so he plays him gay but they could have used shots of him not looking at his lips but they kept them in.)

WHY DID WILL HAVE TO PUSH MIKE TO CONTINUE TALKING TO EL!!!!!???? HE WASNT GONNA SAY HE LOVES HER BUT WILL PUSHED HIM INTO IT!!!!!!!!

and thats just his actions alone!!! now lets look into the more technical film choices theyve made when it comes to mike wheeler. again, can you answer any of these questions with an answer thats not related to him having internalized homophobia?

why did they make it clear that max and lucas at day of the dead were having a date (“im spending romantic time with my girlfriend”) and then choose to place mike and will together but not with them, as if mike and will were on a date too.

why did they film mike and el’s break up in s3 so playfully and humorous with bright lighting, lots of colors, an audience, max and el laughing, and fun music after vs mike and will’s fight which was very dark and blue, pouring rain, harsh shadows, and played an emotional original score track?

WHY the eye witness parallel?

why would they frame mike in a closet in s3 during that awkward unreciprocated kiss? this is the biggest thing by far for me that makes me think he’s gay for sure.

why did they frame mike reading el’s letter so that theres a literal fucking one way sign pointing to an open closet?

why did bouncy upbeat music play when he and el reunited at the airport? they could have made it emotional but they made it light and playful as if its more friendly than romantic.

WHY DID THEY PLAY A TRACK CALLED “IN THE CLOSET” WHEN MIKE STARTS SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WILL!!! this is also right after he said “we’re firends we’re friends!!” no its not just because el is in a literal closet here, the track starts during mike and wills fight.

why did they play a track that is EXTREMELY similar to the track eulogy during mike and el’s fight, a track thats only played when someone dies.

(emotional, tender music). why. its only used in romantic contexts. we see it used with byler, lumax, jopper, and once with mlvn when theyre at the pizza place.

why did they frame will out of focus in the middle of mike and el when they reunited!!? at first i thought this was just to emphasize will’s pov but now im thinking it might be more symbolic of will getting in between mike and eleven. he himself isnt doing that at all though, quite the opposite actually- he keeps giving mike relationship advice and hes the reason mike told el he loves her, so it must be in reference to how will is disrupting mike and els relationship because of mikes feelings for him.

why did they keep will in the frame when mike said he loved her? the only other time we had a similar one on one emotional monologue delivery to someone was in s2 when joyce, jonathan, and mike were trying to reach will and mike told him asking him to be friends was the best thing hes ever done. that was shot as if there were no one else in the room it was very centered around just will and mike, whereas this monologue shows will in the same frame as mike as well as will and jonathans reactions to what hes saying.

and lastly, WHY did they frame every couple so dramatically paired off together in the final shot while el was all alone. joyce and hopper, mike and will, and jonanathan and nancy. theyve done this in the past but this was the first time they made it excruciatingly obvious.

damn i wasnt gonna list out every thing i know when i first started answering this but thats what i ended up doing. anyways, again, i understand giving up considering how disappointing volume 2 was, but absolutely no way was it all in our heads. look at all that.

i still have hope just for the sheer fact that not only mike wheeler as a character, but all their film choices surrounding mike wheeler make no fucking sense unless hes gay and DEEP in the closet.

#jeuss thats a lot #im gonna think of another huge one i forgot right after i post this i know it #i could have included s2 but i wanted to compare it with el a lot and theyre barely together that season #thats not even all of it i only included the ones i know had to be intentional #there are so many others that im still kinda on the fence about #i wanna be convinced about mikes arrow on his heart always pointing to will but im not 100% sold yet #byler #stranger things #eden answers

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