#working on unmasking too

[ultravioart]

Self reflection with Art

Man, I keep wanting to draw Marvin in WoY style, Dominion Au stuff, Star Wars Ocs, maybe even some Ramattra art, but I get insecure about the quality of it. My whole plan to 'post art at the end of each month' backfired because: 1: Deadlines make my brain procrastinate due to past traumatic experiences with school/work deadlines when I fell extremely ill (yes I met 95% of the deadlines, but it left me with debilitating burnout that took years to recover from. Thanks dysautonomia, spoon debt is REAL). So this January with my new "post at the end of the month" plan, instead of drawing all the time like I usually do with no pressure to post, I procrastinated, and mostly drew within the last 3 days of the month because I felt pressured by my set deadline. This was not helpful lol, I'll try something different going forward. But within that procrastinating, it did allow me to take a long break from my PC set up, and explore different activities more. Like cooking, learning to crochet, self care (meal prep, research into foods, research into how to care for my hair texture), research in general on topics I find interesting, and deeper life discussions face to face with the people in my household. I think I will include more "days off" from my art set up so that I can dedicate full days to other activities going forward. Sometimes you have to take one day at a time with POTS (dysautonomia), and that's okay. Some days you can't draw, and that's okay too, no need to force it because you REALLY want to create art right then and there. 2: looking back on the art I did draw, I didn't post it at the end of the month because I felt it wasn't "quality" enough to post. It was quick sketching with shape use I didn't like enough, or line quality I didn't like. I have to remember that posting is better than not, and it doesn't matter if I think it sucks. So what? There's nothing to be ashamed of. Going through this internal discourse, it did suddenly remind me that I draw VERY fast, and what would take someone underdrawings + line art to look like a nice doodle, I genuinely just doodle something out in less than a minute that looks like a nice doodle. So, there is no need to beat myself up if my less than a minute art isn't perfect lol. Not every day I can physically draw, and that's okay. Those low days I can just create a prep of ref, or scribble stick figures so I at least remember what the comic was so I don't forget the idea.

#text #long text #working on being more mindful #working on unmasking too #unmasking has given me back SO MANY SPOONS #actually autistic #personal #POTS #dysautonomia

[unpretty]

well my ears sound crinkly but the ringing seems to have stopped and i'm not dizzy anymore so that feels like a good sign

#original #i caught a cold despite masking #because motherfuckers keep coming to work sick #and when too many people are out i have to eat lunch at my desk #in the room where all the unmasked people hang out #anyway it still hurts to swallow and no amount of honey tea is helping #but i'm coherent now so that's something

[nighthaunting]

You ever have a moment where you reconsider something you thought a lot about in the past but then sort of turned your attention away from for a while, and your new perspective just blows the whole thing open?

Me thinking about russ and magnus during ATS/PB today after years of taking a break from HH/40K lore yielded one such series of revelations.

I was thinking about Betrayer and Russ' attempt to give Angron a lesson via the Night of the Wolf. I was thinking about Prospero Burns and Russ' belief that he's had a direct line to Magnus this whole time via Kaspar. I was thinking about that 'please'. And.

I know this is pretty much canon to the text but I've never before really Considered that one of Russ' motives in keeping this guy alive and sending him out on compliances with his Legion was (Russ believed at least) letting Magnus see the SW in action and hoping that this might influence him into trying to Avoid doing anything that might cause Russ to be sent after him.

In the past I've talked a lot about the SW keeping Kaspar around to see what would happen in terms of thinking the TS were up to something or going to do something to the Legion, which is very much the assumption the Chaos entity wanted them to make, but looking back I tbh think i slept on the concept of Russ, who canonically has taken out at least one of the Lost Primarchs in an event which is prefers not to speak (or at least the codex Strongly Implies that Russ has been used against another primarch before), and who also canonically went into the Night of the Wolf fully willing to die to make his point to Angron if only Angron could understand what he was doing.

I'm sort of compelled by the concept because in a sense Russ was letting (what he thought was) Magnus take a peek behind the barbarian mask he likes to put on, to see into a more genuine heart of his legion, letting his guard down a bit by allowing this obviously-compromised spy in. Much the same way he let the mask drop when he went to try and talk some sense into Angron, bringing up philosophy and reading and ideals that Russ' ignorant-but-noble barbarian persona would never admit to being interested in let alone reading.

And both times the gambit failed, in Magnus' case because it wasn't Magnus on the other end of the line, and in Angron's case because he was too far gone to really get what Russ was illustrating for him.

The whole thing was orchestrated so well, ironically giving the "proof" that Magnus was up to something via this sleeper agent spy that the SW were toting around with them, playing on Russ being curious enough to keep this guy around and connect the dots on the (false) links between this guy and the TS. I have this headcanon that Russ and Lorgar were actually fairly close, with Russ actually talking to Lorgar about Lorgar's writings, because he didn't seem surprised that Russ had read them and had thoughts on them in Betrayer, so I actually sort of like the idea that he had a hand in setting up the fall of Prospero? I like the tragedy of the idea that he at least had some input on the idea, being familiar enough with Russ to know he'd take the bait.

Which would make that a third time Russ got genuine with someone and had it either fail or be used against him...

#i'm sorry i love to torment him #russ' whole deal is that he's trapped in the mask he constructed for himself #and yet also unwilling to unmask himself and be genuine until its too late #he desperately doesn't want to kill another brother so he keeps trying to engineer shit to steer them away from situations #where he'd have to kill them #unfortunately that being the Only time he's genuine means it never fucking works #russ being Canonically Dionysian coded in the Apollonian-Dionysian duality truly coming back to bite him in the ass every time #sorry buddy but you're 'futility of fighting fate' chaotic unjust nature coded and all your angst about the role you were created to play #is entirely apt but also completely a self-fulfilling prophesy in terms of your ability to forge the relationships that would have saved yo #something something and this is why valdor tops but that's a whoooooole other essay #leman russ #warhammer 40k #russ’ hug brigade

[mystical-cinnamoon]

today was fantastic and we're topping it off with a new litwtc ep

fuck yeah i am thriving

#i recently fully adopted The Mindset #yk “do it scared” “do it bad” loving all the little things in life etcetera etcetera #it has been. incredibly effective holy shit everything is great now?? #a combination of not being burnt out from school anymore & learning to unmask & my will wood obsession & The Mindset is fixing me #i'm not tired all the time!! i'm feeling the urge to create and i feel like i can actually do it!!!!!!!! #I'm just enjoying living for the sake of living!!!!!!!! i have literally NEVER felt like this before!!!!!!!!!!! #i could confidently say that today was the best day i have lived so far #it wasn't particularly special in events but i've been Life-ing so well AND new litwtc episode ofc #and i bet tomorrow will be great too #i'm so happy that this is the point i'm at and i know it'll probably end when i get stressed with work again but that hasn't happened yet #so imma just keep living #the tags of this post don't have much to do with litwtc but i'm tagging it anyways #litwtc #life in the world to come

[etherealflickering]

RARGHH my last post about ???% and teru was too vague it was aggravating me. nobody look anymore. it's gone. I wanna elaborate more, it's what I do best!! first I gotta establish that shigeo and mob are the same person. which, y'know. is obvious given the manga events and the conclusion of the confession arc. shigeo is mob's powers and repressed emotions given form. yet they have been two distinct egos for years due to mob's trauma-induced mental and emotional block. so I doubt the final arc would necessarily repair that divide in its entirety. all of this plus I fully lean into the ESP being an allegory for neurodivergency, specifically autism.

what the result of the arc does is that now they speak and are conscious as one. the part of shigeo that emerges as ???% is preserved but more as a physical manifestation of meltdown, unmasking, or strong feelings than it is of a complete, uncontrolled self-defense mode. ???% is a part of mob's powers if not just the condensed, full-force version of them. I'd imagine mob might practice going ???% as a form of meditation and keeping in friendly touch with that part of himself.

bringing it back to teru: this is why I think teru interacting with ???% in a calm, nonviolent environment is so important because even though he's fundamentally accepted that part of mob, he still hasn't really known it past horrible, traumatic situations. if mob were to ever shut down or fully unmask or anything of the sort, teru would learn not to be scared but to be caring and understanding. this would strengthen their bond even further. it'd be good for both of them!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo #teruki hanazawa #hanazawa teruki #mp100 spoilers #???% mob #i was extremely vague in my last post in retrospect. did not take the bait to ramble further about my mob headcanons at ALL #was seeing some posts emphasizing that shigeo and mob are not separate people and i was like YES #admittedly i used to think of them like that but it just doesn't work well with the themes #???% just being mob unmasking is my favorite part of all this if you didn't notice #i have strong autism solidarity with mob. i wish i could too unmask so fully that my very soul spewed out of me like lightning #this stuff probably doesn't apply as exactly if you have a DID headcanon for him but I'm not equipped to write one since I don't know enough

[greppelheks]

My coworkers have all been so incredibly nice to me since I went home last week because I'm so burnt out. And coworkers who later heard that I'm home sick but not just with the flu have sent me long and thoughtful and kind texts. They're all so incredibly sweet.

#I've been hiding how hard it is for me to combine work and life #but surprisingly enough when i couldn't anymore everybody's been so understanding and kind #my one coworker texted me what was up because she feels something around me that she can't put her finger on #and she's worried for me #so i told her and she was so kind #she even suggested that i should see someone and then reassured me how that's not a bad thing #but I've been going to therapy for like 7 years bless her tho she doesn't know that #if there's any place where I can learn to.... interact with life in a different way and unmask a bit #it's this workplace #theyre all older incredibly kind and understanding women #and i love them #it's been a bit too overwhelming to text everyone back but i might do it today #personal

[nettleandthorne]

You say there's only some notes in ariadne is clockwork, but if it's not too nosy, would you like to share one or two ? :]

sure! it's something i really do want to write eventually, so i'm happy to talk about what little i have.

- ariadne: an remarkably lifelike clockwork automaton built to be a gardener; she lives within a vast glasshouse that she maintains and cares for

- almost my fair lady; ariadne is noticed by someone who is amazed by how lifelike she is, and he attempts to pass her off as a real young woman - note: eliza doolittle's 'what am i fit for? what have you left me fit for?' ariadne grows too used to being treated as real to want to return to living as an automaton, but is never real enough to feel as though she fits. what is she fit for when she's too alive for clockwork and too rigid to be alive?

- does she go back to the garden? is that what she wants? could she ever go back?

that's pretty much all i have! it's a story inspired by my own experiences growing up in all-girls school and not knowing that i was autistic, and now struggling to understand where i fit in autistic communities after years spent masking. ariadne is already very close to my heart, and i'd love to write her someday. thank you for this ask! <3

#learning to unmask is so hard #i often feel too autistic for neurotypical groups but not autistic enough for neurodivergent groups #i watched my fair lady last christmas #and i was like damn actually #what am i fit for #what has this left me fit for #combine with a deep love of steampunk and working in a botanical gardens #and you get ariadne #asks #ariadne is clockwork

[foxgloveinspace]

I think I stopped feeling silly about how much Sleep Token has influenced how much I want to pick back up my practice (and honestly my motivation to practice) yesterday when I was on a binge of Chaotic Witch Aunts older videos and found out they had a small section of their alter dedicated to Florence Welch, and how they talked about how much Florence + the Machine influenced their witchcraft, and it was honestly very freeing lmao.

#very much so #sleep token #for blacklist #delete later #maybe #I’m still….. I don’t know if I think sleep is a god tbh #I am still like ‘meh I think Sleep is a coping mechanism’ but maybe they are a spirit and not a deity #I’m also wondering if sleep is a spirit that Vessel no longer works with #and that’s why he’s feeling the need to maybe change the mask #cause I’ve been thinking a lot about how the mask is a devotion to sleep and not just a protecting thing for Vessel #which makes it soooo fucking much more upsetting that people are trying to like…. spread his identity around #like if he unmasks that’s his choice #I personally…. I don’t want them too just cause I like it but the music is the important part here and if Vessel feels like the mask is no #longer important to his music then that’s that. #and honestly??! all of this could just be for the aesthetic he might not actually be a witch/practitioner he might have just liked the #aesthetic of it all and that’s fine too!! #but also Sundowning is supposedly a spell so there’s that #hmmmm any way if you read all my fucking rambling. thanks I guess #I’m just having a moment. and adhd moment

[opossumbyknight]

so since I work a boring office job I have a lot of downtime & I've gotten very into origami and given my coworkers a lot of the things I've made

my beloved work mother walked up to me today and just showed me some pictures she saved of origami lotuses and I'm very bad at them but god I'm determined to make at least one good one bc I must make one for her

#she's from ethiopia and has trouble communicating with people bc they dont try to understand her thru her accent #but being very unmasked autistic at work makes us best friends bc we can communicate nonverbally #i love her and if she goes out of her way to show me something she thinks is pretty/cool and i have yhe skills to make? #I'd burn the world down for her #she gave me an impromptu pep talk at work one day and i had to try v hard not to cry #she basically told me i have to further my education in some way bc im too smart & competent to not be successful #and of course my mom just expected things of me without actively encouraging me in any way #anyway TG i lov you so much

[toytulini]

god i really went THREE FUCKING YRS without getting sick i was being so goddamn careful but then my parents got smth and foolish me, didnt step up the level of precaution i was taking around them, and lo and behold, im almost definitely sick

#toy txt post #grumping #AS SOON AS I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK AND DONT HAVE ANYMORE DAYS OFF TOO. GOD. I GUESS ILL FUCKING ASK TOMORROW #IF THEY WANT ME THERE OR NOT. obviously i will be wearing a mask. just. augh #the annoying part is i WAS taking precautions around my parents. wearing a mask around them. etc. #but foolish me let my door be open cos the room is a little warm. so their air conditioner just blasted all their Sick Air right into my #fucking bedroom ig. i have a hepa filter running all the time but it wasnt enough ig #and like. you know. at night when they were in bed id dare to be unmasked outside my room. my mistake ig #i ate food they made. i was wearing a mask around them but not the best mask i couldve cos that one does hurt my nose after awhile #i was wearing a mask around them but i wasnt likiting contact as much as i shouldve. they kept opening my door and coming into my room #before id gotten up so i couldnt get a mask on in time. etc. see. all on me i shouldve known better/s #idk. just. frustrated. i try to take my silly little precautions in a way that not fucking obtrusive to them #cos god forbid. god forbid i ask them to like. idk. wear a mask if theyre going to come in my room while Actively Sick. #or like. not be All Over The House Coughing. idk. fucking whatever. im the unreasonable one i know. my symptoms are not currently that bad #dont know if its covid #doesnt feel worth bothering to do a rapid test cos i keep hearing theyre not picking up new strains anyway and who fucking knows #idk! #i should try to get a little more sleep ig #feels like ill be okay im just fucking. mad

[cometchasms]

Give it up for being sick af on my bday~ least I got to spend the day drawing and rewatching Hazbin (though my TV started glitching out like crazy during Dad beats Dad. 100% blaming Alastor, how dare he interrupt my favorite episode-)

#Comet Talk #Hazbin Hotel #Still working on my sona too. Got an unmasked version but that'll have to wait till later lol #Anyways ay I'm older today 🎉

[lettersiarrange]

Me: I'll be able to recover from my nightmarish 3 months after I finish this 2 week work trip

Me: [gets covid on the 2 week work trip]

💀

#the way that i was aggressively masking and trying to distance.... #and yet was just completely surrounded by unmasked coughing people everywhere all the time #EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME!!!! #I'm actually deeply pissed #i did not get covid for the first time until june. SEVEN MONTHS AGO. i avoided it for THREE YEARS #and now I've had it twice in 7 months #because even tho i avoided doing ANYTHING for new years bc i didn't want to catch anything #i don't have a choice abt work trips!!! #it's go or say goodbye to my job!! #i was also WALKING AROUND A HOSPITAL the entirety of the first week #and was the only person wearing a mask!!! #but have any of my coworkers on either part of my trip gotten covid??? #NOT THAT I'VE HEARD!! #I'm pissed too bc in the second part of my trip there were signs everywhere saying MASKS STRONGLY RECCONENDED #and we were EXPLICITLY TOLD TO MASK UP #by my project lead #and yet. did people wear masks? no! #just me! #and I'm the one with covid #of course #and my project lead was supportive of me taking one sick afternoon #when i asked to leave early the next day bc i was worried i had a fever and had nothing to do and still felt miserable #my project lead was not impressed #thanks babe #i literally had covid #but I'm def making it up bc I'm lazy bc why else would i still be sick after i got the WHOLE AFTERNOON off?? #honestly i think she was only supportive of me taking the afternoon off bc i had a big presentation the next morning in front of like #100 people at the customer. like everyone was there. #and my project lead didn't want me to be visible sick and fucked up for it #and then i did the prezzie and multiple people said i CRUSHED it... but i couldn't leave early that day 🙄

[bellincurl]

The only solace to having g to work in summer is thaht being butched up and aweaty in a tank and cargo pants with a stupid vacuum cleaner backpack is about the only time I think im hot So 👍

#cleavage 👍 #too hot to mask in that building without passing out so it also means my horrible little billy goats gruff chin hairs r out on full display #give me a mustache beg im begging im begging.you and sideburns #(i work alone but normally mask anyway just to clarify i wouldnt occasionally unmask if i was around ppl)

[mofffun]

Rita showing Gira their face when he's king implies the rest of the monarchs know what Rita looks like? Thoughts? Personally, I've always thought Rita has kept their face hidden from the other kings and their face would be revealed in universe in a fun filler episode

hmmm I don't think kingship is a condition necessary for Rita to reveal their face. So far the implication is they are dressing this way since young, so the coverings has more to do with a personal reason than a duty-related one. Common sense might say unmasking has more to do with how close they are with someone, while the fact is they haven’t shown it outside of their room or to Morfonia (so how close are they!).

Rita's mask gives me more a utilitarian vibe of so others can't read their emotions or engage in idle conversations. There's absolutely no rule against unmasking, they just prefer not to unless it's absolutely necessary. The mask can also be a tangible switch into work mode, because they do keep it on inside their room sometimes (re: examining evidence,16 and zipping up at Dethnarok's blackmail video,6) So what's so important that can cause a a violation to that rule? How confident are they to win over Gira in a silly expression contest if breaking the rule is worth it?

But your question proposed if the other kings has seen Rita's face in the context they underwent the same test.

Since it sounds like a thing Jeramie made up on the spot, I don't think they have to had gone through the same test, but depending on who, they might've known what Rita looks like ≠ Rita took initiative to show them

I’m a fim believer in "Himeno doesn’t know". Oh she wants to, but even if she has doctor’s authority, I don’t think she would take that choice away from Rita. For the test, she is coronated about the same time as them and Rita probably has enough to manage when they first take over.

Kaguragi's coup happened in the year following and that's a whole can of worms on whether that falls under Rita's jurisdiction. Long story short, I think it's believable Kagu has seen it in passing/a long time ago/by spying.

Yanma could've gone through the same tests, it looks like his term is the shortest. I'm not so sure. He's definitely the 'they un-kinged my ohgers' crowd.

Young Racules/Gira could’ve very well met young Rita at official events.

HC-wise, I’m a sucker for baby Rita befriending all Gokkan cryptids so yeah, they had definitely met the Masked Spider.

There's still the question whether the other kings are in the room during Gira and Rita's contest! (I don't think Rita would let them stay 😂) It'd make good comedy to watch everyone find out for the first time. And well, we still can't be sure it's not a "mask underneath another mask" situation right

#i'm taking this way too seriously instead of just running wild with hcs sorry 😂 #brain's not really working right now so back to default analysis mode #rita kaniska #kingohger #2307162258 #ko21 #moffsages #in conclusion: Rita unmasking in public for a personal reason is basically PDA 😂 #uno meme: Rita Kaniska - unmask for a non-business related reason in public or draw 25

[depresseddepot]

oughhhghh where is that "don't trust anything you think abt your life past 9pm" post when you need it

#its ''feel like an alien'' hours once again #recently ive been trying to unmask a little bit but even that tiny bit is like. breaking the dam of how weird i am #ive barely scratched the surface and im already starting to get those Looks that i haven't gotten since middle school #i wouldn't mind masking at work if i could just figure out how the hell to correctly bounce back questions #like the 10 year old in me gets so desperate to talk about herself in a genuine fashion that i can't stop myself #unless i am 100% masking. like even a little bit less and i overshare like an idiot #i dont really care to learn body language yet but i need to know how to refuse to answer personal questions #without making it weird #like allistics seem to just Know how to carefully roll with those questions without actually saying anything #''you should be genuine bc you'll feel better'' there is very little that makes me feel worse than oversharing at work #i work with conservatives baby. a little oversharing here and there leads to them finding shit out abt me that they WILL use against me #and i do not trust myself enough to not actually tell them in the moment because i can't fucking lie to save my life #when someone asks me a genuine question i just can't do anything other than offer a genuine answer #and i want to stop ! i dont feel comfortable sharing these things about myself so why wont i shut my fucking mouth!!!!! #i need to learn to let people simmer in silence. i am always too focused w filling the silence to prevent people seeing how weird i am #its always another little fucking quip with me. i can never just shut my fucking mouth #sorry #vent

[bitchapalooza]

Writing Cyllene having sensory overload over the sudden situation at hand just to add in that little autism hc without saying it kills me because I just know Cyllene heavily masks and absolutely hates it and finds it weak of her to behave in such a way over something seemingly so small and insignificant. Like she can handle high pressure situations, but sometimes they just get to be too much and she gets overwhelmed! Which she tries to suppress.

#and she doesnt unmask in front laventon either :( #she thinks her impulse to stim is a very childish thing to do so she hides it #eating is probably one of the stims she doesnt suppress bc its how she destresses #sword fighting helps ground her #and drowning herself in her work keeps her grounded too #i think laventon freely stims in front of cyllene tho but in public no he was kinda taught not to #pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon headcanons #captain cyllene