#yeah gee i wonder why nobody wants to fucking give you their money

[boomstab-papa]

from the website owner who bans you if you link to his blog

"We have a contractual obligation to try to make Live as successful as possible through the end of the year"???!!!!???!? (emphasis mine)

contractual with who???!!!?!?!

#explains why they were pushing it so hard but geez #that fucking glowing live button is what made me ditch the app #i haven't looked at a tumblr ad (ie given them ad views and money) since august #what kind of contract makes you try to hype up a feature everyone hates #who made this for them #what the fuck tumblr #since nobody else was talking about holding photomatt accountable i went to check his blog myself and sure enough it's all kissass #''thank you for making tumblr the best it's ever been'' LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF #and ''ooooo ai will fix everything! ai will make tumblr better! ai will let you migrate your blog to wordpress! i suck openAI sloppy!'' #and ''boo hoo people told me i run the site like shit that makes me feel bad'' #sorry asshole i have no patience for people who ban users for saying ''here give the website owner ur honest feedback on his website'' #'and ''boo hoo nobody is paying us for ad free and blaze and checkmarks and crabs'' #and all the while hiding posts about sfw transgender topics and empty reblogs and photos of a fish in an mri machine for 'tos violations' #yeah gee i wonder why nobody wants to fucking give you their money #just about the only reassuring thing he mentioned was beefing up the trust & safety team but again #if they keep banning posts about being trans etc. then this is not very reassuring after all #rip tumblr

[itbe-jess]

Maslophobia: Chapter 8

Captured recorded audio of Karl Rodriguez having phone conversations with the formal Paradise Critter performers before their disappearances, including Karl’s himself.

Stevie: Yes?

Karl: STEVEN! How you do, how you do?

Stevie: Okay, who the hell is this?

Karl: What, you don't remember your old work buddy, Karl Rodriguez? Of Karl's Paradise?

Stevie: Oh, you. Just to state one fact: We aren't buddies. We just did work. The only time you've ever treated me like a friend was when I wore the freakin' dog costume. Second of all, what do you want?

Karl: Well, the REAL question is, what do YOU want?

Stevie: What do I want, what?

Karl: With your life, I mean. Have you ever considered getting into acting again? I just had the thought you were a man who looked into a brighter future.

Stevie: Well, I've been putting a lot of thought into it, continuing showbiz. What I want is more than just to hide my face behind some puppet costume. I wanna act. I also wanna write, and create.

Karl: That's interesting!

Stevie: But what I really wanna do is direct.

Karl: Oh! A little showbiz humor there!

Stevie: [*Chuckles*] Yeah. Say, Karl, I have another question.

Karl: Shoot.

Stevie: Why the fuck are you poking into my business like this?

Karl: Well, bet you haven't noticed, but I'm still doing work at Tam Studios!

Stevie: Great. How about telling me something I should care about?

Karl: No no no no, you don't understand, Stevie. I wanna help you pave your career way!

Stevie: What?

Karl: Help you find a new line of work! Tam is beginning the productions of an upcoming crime drama!

Stevie: Keep talking.

Karl: They're cast-calling for a slender, Caucasian man in his 20s, with flexible movement. I convinced them to put you up in that position, cuz I saw deep through those doggy eyes that you had potential. And it wasn't one of those non-speaking, background roles. No sir, this is supporting character we're talking.

Stevie: That's great! Hard to believe I've gone to a great start just by wearing a dog suit while somebody else dubbed over my lines! And if this role peaks, I could probably land myself in another rol- Hold it, hold it. Why do all this for me?

Karl: Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You have always been my favorite, Steven. The others did a fantastic job, but you knew how to bring life into a character.

Stevie: I am, aren't I? Well, I do hold a few charms, here and there. Knew they'd come into full effect soon.

Karl: So, do you take the job?

Stevie: Hell yeah I want the job! And I'd like to thank you for it!

Karl: No need for that! Just doing a favor for my favorite performer! Come over to my place for your script, and I'll explain the details to you over coffee.

Stevie: Make mine extra dark.

Karl: With pleasure!

_____________________

Karl: Hello, hello?

Debbie: Hello, who is- Karl? Karl, is that you?

Karl: In the flesh! But as of right now, in the voice. And while you're still listening to it, Happy Birthday!

Debbie: Awwwww, that's awfully generous. But my birthday isn't until two more days.

Karl: It is? Ooooooh, damn.

Debbie: What is it?

Karl: Seems I've over looked the calender. At least I didn't miss it yet.

Debbie: And it's a good thing you remembered what month it was, too.

Karl: Yeah. Still pretty embarrassing. I even got you a gift.

Debbie: You got me a gift?! Karl, that makes me... ...pleased as punch! Though you really didn't have to go through the troubl-

Karl: Oh no no no, I felt like it, since you are my favorite.

Debbie: Really? I didn't know that! I mean, the most you've ever talked to me was when I was Vinnie Van Goose, with the head on and all.

Karl: Well, the others are special, but if they knew you were my favorite, they would feel less important. You really knew how to bring life into a character more than they did.

Debbie: Oh wow. Though I feel bad for being the favorite. The others worked so hard.

Karl: What they don't know, won't hurt 'em! It's okay! Now, why don't you come over to my place and you can collect your gift? You can either take it to go, or eat it here.

Debbie: "Eat it?"

Karl: Hope you brought your sweet tooth.

Debbie: Oooooh la la, zat sounds deleecious, vahtre ahltesse. [*Chuckles*]

Karl: [*Chuckles back*]

Debbie: That was a really bad impression of the character I played.

Karl: I thought it was decent. So, you coming to get your gift, or what?

Debbie: Hell yeah, I'm going to get it! On one condition, though.

Karl: Hmm?

Debbie: Don't eat it all before I get there. [*Giggles*]

Karl: That's a promise I'm willing to keep! Don't worry! I won't even dip my finger into the frosting!

_____________________

Scott: Who is it?

Karl: That can only mean one thing: Do you recognize my voice?

Scott: K-Karl? Karl! Oh, Karl, you happy-go-lucky son of a bitch! [*Laughs*]

Karl: What, were you expecting someone else?

Scott: Ehhhh, either Mom, or someone I owe money to. [*Laughs*]

Karl: [*Laughs as well*]

Scott: You can't be my mother, sooooooo are you calling me up to pay some acting penalty fee?

Karl: There's just no end to your wisecracks, huh Scotty? Don't be ridiculous. You worked for me, so I'm the one who should be giving you money! Speaking of which, did I ever tell you that you were my favorite?

Scott: I am?

Karl: Sure! None of the other performers knew how to bring life into a character more than you!

Scott: Really? Well, to be honest, I didn't think there was anything special about my character.

Karl: You didn't think-- Look, Scott, he was one of my favorite Critters. When I was designing him, I put a little bit of myself into this character's traits. And to have a person make him animated was a happy experience.

Scott: Wow, Karl. That's...

Karl: Trouble finding the right word?

Scott: Yeah. Kinda. Just feels really neat to be appreciated. Even at a simple task.

Karl: Say no more, my friend! All you have to do is accept your award! No speech please.

Scott: Award? Okay, Karl, this is a little bit much.

Karl: Not really much. Just a bonus check.

Scott: Bonus check? I-I really can't accept this, Karl.

Karl: Please, I insist. You were my favorite Critter, and I wanna show my thanks for such effort you gave.

Scott: I'm not currently having any financial crisis, and I can't take money from you after how nice you've been. Couldn't you thank me in another way? Like, lunch, or dinner-

Karl: Actually, I'd be more than happy if you joined me for this afternoon's brunch, and we can catch up on times. Tomorrow. At my place.

Scott: If that will make you happy, I'll be there.

Karl: Delightful! I'll make sure brunch is still warm when you get here!

_____________________

Drew: Hello?

Karl: Drewwwww! Long time no see!

Drew: KARL! [*Sighs*] Thank God, you're the one to call!

Karl: Gosh, I really wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. You miss the show, too?

Drew: Well, no. Not that it was a bad show, or I hated doing the job! I mean, I loved playing Saxxo!

Karl: Well, Saxxo was my favorite! In fact, so were you! Nobody could bring so much life int-

Drew: Okay thanks I appreciate it Karl! Say, you wouldn't happen to know any positions opened at Tam, do you?

Karl: Tam is currently not looking for any actors at the moment.

Drew: Shhhhhhhh-shit!

Karl: Is everything alright?

Drew: Of course not. Rent's rising, and I have three more days until me and my wife lose the apartment! I just got to find a new job and pay off the rent! Need the money fast! I-I'll do anything!

Karl: Oh my. A debt situation. Does Mary know about it?

Drew: No. And I can't let her know.

Karl: Have you been gambling again?

Drew: [*Awkward silence, then takes a deep breath*] All I ever wanted to do was to treat her to the best romantic getaway in her young life! She thinks I don't pay more attention to her, and I've been less ardent ever since we got married. I love her so much, I really do. I felt like words aren't enough to express how much she means to me, so I thought, perhaps I could show her in another manner! Just wanted to earn a little extra cash, and look what a fine mess I've gotten us into! First it will be our place, next my fucking marriage! You're my only hope, Karl!

Karl: You have my sympathy, old friend. Believe it or not, when I was young, I used to do a bunch of crazy stuff to impress a girl. It's surprising how love can make anyone do anything. Tell you what: I'll give you this check for 100 grand. That way you can both pay off the rent, and give your woman the best dinner, plus a gift.

Drew: Gee. 100,000 dollars. That's a lot of lettuce.

Karl: I was gonna give you this anyways. It's my "Congratulations" gift for all your hard effort at Tam.

Drew: Thank you, Karl! God bless you! I swear I'll pay you back somehow!

Karl: You can pay me back now. ...at my place for some coffee, and we can catch up on our times. Always wanted to have a full conversation with my favorite Critter star.

Drew: Alright, I'll be there. Just as long as we're not getting a little too touchy. What time?

Karl: You can be here right now, if you like.

Drew: I'll go get the car keys!

Karl: Take it slow, Drew. You only live once.

_____________________

Karl: Howdy-do! Nice to hear from you!

Beatrice: Oh hey, Karl! Haven't heard from you since the show's cancellation. Which, by the way, I'm sorry for your loss.

Karl: Heyyyyyyy, no need for pitty. I'm over that now. I've become grateful that they continued to let me work at Tam Studios. Oh, and how far are you due now?

Beatrice: 3 months and 15 days. I made sure to keep track.

Karl: That's wonderful! You know, if Karl's Paradise ran a little longer, you could definitely hide your pregnancy with all that space in your costume.

Beatrice: That's true, though I don't think my doctor would recommend it. The suit is so hot, it's like a walking sauna. Whew! I get all sweaty just thinking of it.

Karl: A hun in the oven with a bun in its oven. That's one for the books. Listen, I've been thinking of you lately.

Beatrice: You know I'm married, Karl.

Karl: No no no no, not like that! I meant thinking about how good of a job you did playing Yum-Yum. You made her feel so warm, and loving. I knew during that one audition, you were her. You surely brought life into that character.

Beatrice: Okay, thanks, but doesn't her voice actress deserve some credit, too?

Karl: Shanna was spectacular, but I don't think she could take on such a physical role. How you handled Yum-Yum was what made you my favorite.

Beatrice: Me? Your favorite? Hah hah, I didn't know you thought that way of me. Though, you always appeared enthusiastic whenever I was in full costume.

Karl: That's how much you thrilled me! Seeing Yum-Yum become animated was a sensation to behold! We show creators take great pride in our works, you know.

Beatrice: Interesting. Well, see you next time, Karl.

Karl: Woah woah, wait! Take these words to mind before you hang up! Please?

Beatrice: Guess I can stay on hold for a little longer.

Karl: Great! Like I said before, I've been thinking of you lately. I know I didn't show much excitement when you first openly confessed about the baby. My favorite deserves better. So, I went out of my way to get the little tot a gift!

Beatrice: A gift? Aww, Karl, you shouldn't have. It's a little too early to start receiving gifts.

Karl: Oh, I insist! Besides, in three days, I'm off on a little business trip, and won't be back in a couple of months. So, I thought of giving you the gift now!

Beatrice: Oh, that's nice! Are you gonna drop it off here?

Karl: No, frankly, I don't know where your location is. I was wondering if you could come by my place and pick it up. You still have the address I gave you and the other performers, right?

Beatrice: Yeah, but... I'm not sure if I wanna go. I've never been to your place before, and I find it weird to come over to another house just to pick up a measely present.

Karl: C'mon, Beatrice. I'm no stranger to you. Besides, I just baked cookies.

Beatrice: Cookies?

Karl: Your favorite. Chocolate chip, soft, and with ooey melty chocolatey goodness.

Beatrice: [*Short silence*] Okay, you win! That's an offer I can't refuse! I'll just have a quick trip, grab a couple of cookies, take the present, and leave!

Karl: Atta girl! I'll get a doggy bag ready!

Beatrice: Don't try to make a pass at me!

Karl: Wouldn't dream of it, Yum-Yum.

_____________________

Clifton: Karl, what the hell is this?

Karl: Cliff! I see you got my message!

Clifton: Yes, and whatever it is, I want no part of it.

Karl: Jesus, why the bitterness?

Clifton: Not only did the Karl's Paradise experience left me humiliated, but it also hurt me seeing my daughter get terrified of a character I played. The show gave her nightmares twice!

Karl: Ooooh, I'm sorry to hear that. But if it makes you feel better, this isn't about the show. It's about a whole new start.

Clifton: Baby, n-not now. Please. Daddy over here busy.

Karl: Pardon?

Clifton: Oh, I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to Beth. You know, my daughter? And what is this "whole new start?"

Karl: I'd like to propose a new proposition. It pays more than your previous gig.

Clifton: "Pays more." Is it another acting pursuit?

Karl: Why yes! Tam is starting the production of a new crime drama, and they're cast-calling for a black-American male, with a tone body, and flexible movement.

Clifton: They're looking for a black man in a program about crimes? Pfftt, I certainly don't like the sound of that.

Karl: Oh no, it's not what you think! I mean they want someone to play one of the lead heroes! I talked to them about giving it to you. Don't you wanna take a step further into your acting goal?

Clifton: Well... Yeah, and it all sounds really great! But I don't think I'm ready to hit that road yet.

Karl: Huh?

Clifton: Well, the crime drama thing seems a little bit... How should I put it? ...complex. Right now, my acting experience is limited. All I did on Karl's Paradise was put on a suit, move around, and grab things. I didn't even get to speak my own voice. Literally. I think I should take it slow for the time being. Tell them I'm gonna have to pass up.

Karl: C'mon, Cliff! Never say die unless you try! This job will mark the beginning of your big break!

Clifton: I don't know-

Karl: With all that money, you could provide your family all what they deserve! You've always talked about how they mean the world to you! Your wife will always be happy, your mother will live more healthy, and your daughter could be enrolled with the best educational systems! You could even buy a bigger house! If you feel you're not ready, we could have training lessons over at my place! I even got a copy of the script!

Clifton: Why does it matter so much to you whether I get the role or not?

Karl: I kept this between myself and I for very long, and I think I ought to let it out now: You have always been my favorite, Cliff. The character, in which you portrayed, was very important to me. When I first designed that character, I projected some of my attributes onto him. Then, you had put on the suit and made him animated. I knew you'd be the one. He was exactly how I pictured him in my head.

Clifton: Well, I would admit I did do a good job, but I wouldn't call it a stellar performance.

Karl: Don't beat on yourself, Cliff! In my opinion, it WAS a stellar performance! And dare I add, you are a family man, right? I'm a sucker for families! Especially children! That's why I gotten into children's entertainment! To make them glow in happiness!

Clifton: [*Inaudible mumbles*]

Karl: What was that?

Clifton: I, I said, I guess I can give it a shot. The money would do me and my family good. The bills need to be paid, and Beth has been twitterpated for an Easy Bake Oven.

Karl: Great! Come visit whenever you're available! I'll put on a fresh pot of coffee!

Clifton: Tomorrow. I'll let my wife know.

Karl: Oh, no no! Cliff, we don't wanna ruin the surprise!

Clifton: Man, if I just sneaked to some place without telling Janet, she'll get the expression that I'm seeing another woman!

Karl: Don't worry! If she gets suspicious, I'll cover for you! It's all in my hands! Trust me!

Clifton: Alright. But one more thing: If I don't nail this role, do not pester me over a new career ever again.

Karl: Cross my heart and hope to die!

_____________________

Karl: Hello, Rebecca!

Rebecca: Oh my god- Karl! You have every nerve calling me up! You of all people!

Karl: I know! Did you miss me?

Rebecca: Like I miss a kidney stone! Good-fucking-bye!

Karl: Wait, don't hang up!

Rebecca: If you're calling me because your show's been picked up again, no use talking me into it! I've never been so embarrassed in my life! My friends still won't let me live it down, and my brother-in-law keeps making long distant calls just to tease me about the damn shark! And I couldn't stand looking at those costumes, even my own! What the hell were you thinking?

Karl: I just thought you suited the role so much. The way you brought life into the character really made you my favorite!

Rebecca: I don't care, and I was talking about those costumes! How could you not see how terrifying they were? You gave a goose teeth! A goose with teeth!

Karl: They're not that bad! Just wanted to give them a little cartoony-ness in their appearances!

Rebecca: Karl, they made kids cry! They're THAT bad! It's like they came from Sesame Street Reject Hell!

Karl: [*A moment of silence, then, angry breathing is heard*]

Rebecca: You still there?

Karl: Yes. I'm still here. The reason I called was to ask you a favor regarding the show. Also, it's still pulled off the air. I'm making a biography based on experience working on Karl's Paradise. I interview you, and you give me all your views on the show, whether they are positive, or negative.

Rebecca: Forget it. Now if you excuse me, I have to hunt a new job. One where I possibly don't have to show my face.

Karl: I'll pay you!

Rebecca: What?

Karl: The exact same amount as your salary from Tam! Please! Just come to my place, answer a few questions, and you'll never see my face again!

Rebecca: [*Sighs*] You're a sad man, Karl. Alright, I'll do it. Throw in a couple of snacks, with some iced tea, and you have yourself a deal.

Karl: Lucky for you, I always bring out the refreshments to guests!

_____________________

Sam: Who is it?

Karl: Double-K, that's who. [*Giggles*]

Sam: Oh, hi Karl! Didn't think you'd call me all of a sudden. Are you still down over the show's cancelization?

Karl: Nahhhh. That's all in the past now. I'm working on a new project at Tam, and it's far better than my last one.

Sam: Ohhhh. Glad to hear that you've moved on. I must say: Although Kar- [*Sneezes*] Excuse me...

Karl: No, bless you!

Sam: Thanks. As I was saying; Although Karl's Paradise wasn't the best experience I ever had, it sure was a fun one. I actually started to take a liking to Mama LongLegs.

Karl: Yeah, you were always cut out for her. When you showed up for that audition back in '88, and you first put on that suit, that was the day my Mama LongLegs was discovered. You nailed every aspect of her character, minus the voice.

Sam: And you know something funny? I didn't think I'd get the role with my height and all. Mama LongLegs could've been given to any one of those women under 5'8. Nice of you to care more about personalities than looks.

Karl: Wise Miss you are. That's why you've always been my favorite.

Sam: I am? Oh gosh, I don't know what to say...

Karl: How 'bout "yes?"

Sam: Excuse me?

Karl: I mean, how's about coming over to my house for a couple of photoshoots? ...in costume? The other cast is involved as well. Even though the show is cancelled, they're still giving me the right to merchandise it. All I need right now is your approval.

Sam: Oh. Well, sounds fun!

Karl: It sure is! I'll even put on a fresh pot of coffee!

Sam: I'll be there! Also, [*Jokingly tone*] for this photoshoot, I won't be taking anything off, will I?

Karl: I'm not that kind of man! Don't worry, you'll be fully covered! You're just wearing the costume, and that's it.

_____________________

Leon: What's up? I don't really care who you are. Just get down to the skinny. Blah blah blah blah.

Karl: Leon, it's me.

Leon: You're gonna have to be more specific. I don't know any "Me's."

Karl: Karl Rodriguez! Don't you remember?

Leon: Ohhhh yeaaah, the Karl's Paradise man. What's the big idea giving me this ring while the show is cancelled?

Karl: Well, to clarify-

Leon: Even if it's not, I don't think I wanna come back anytime soon. Like, that whole show, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, is kinda bogus.

Karl: I know, but-

Leon: Man... I wouldn't have stayed if it weren't for the money. And the free Dunkin' every morning. As for those costumes... wayyyyyy fucking creepy to the max. They'd make great props for a halloween haunted house, though. Wish I could've took mine with me.

Karl: Are you finished?

Leon: Shoot.

Karl: *Ahem* As I was saying; what you just mentioned is exactly what I called for!

Leon: You're gonna pay me? You're gonna buy me Dunkin'?

Karl: No, but how would you like to take your costume home with you? You can scare the shit out of kids every halloween, as much as you want!

Leon: Ehhhh, it isn't money or greasy donuts, but it'll do. I'll take it. Alright, when are you gonna deliver it to me?

Karl: Ha ha ha ha. No, you have to come down to my place and pick it up. Because, frankly, I never did get your address.

Leon: Whatt... No way. I am not getting off my ass, driving a mile block, just to pick up a damn costume. Forget it. The thing would probably eat my soul while I'm sleeping anyways.

Karl: There's Dunkin' in it for you! Along with an iced coffee.

Leon: Dammit, Karl. You know my weakness too well. I'll get my keys.

Karl: That's the spirit! Hey, did I mention you were always my favorite?

#The Banana Splits Movie #Remake #horror #Masklophobia #original characters

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter XXXI: Treant

There wasn’t much interesting about me. Not really. That wasn’t me being self-deprecating or anything. If anything, I quite liked being in the background. Others around me have always been more interesting, and I was happy enough just to help those others out.

That’s why I worked from childhood through my adulthood in order to become a doctor. It wasn’t like a total dream of mine, and I wasn’t sure if I’d call myself “passionate” (one of my top qualities, I think, is that I’ve been called a dispassionate person. But I shouldn’t humblebrag), but when I was in grade school and saw one of my classmates get injured, I couldn’t help but be compelled to want to help them. Then there were times, like when my sister or my mom would get sick and I’d be like “gee, I wonder what would help them get better.”

Skip past many years of boring details, and the rest is history. Got my own apartment after completing my internship at one of the nearby hospitals. When my sister helped me move in, we found a time travel device in the closet that I mistook for a Nintendo 64. It’s not as interesting of a detail as it seems. Anyway, that aside, there was still work to be had just about every day.

Skip ahead a few more years after that…

...And there was still work to be had.

It was about that time in the morning when it wasn’t yet bright and early and the coffee I poured tasted like sludge. When the showers were scalding and suffocating fumes filled the bathroom, yet when I turned off the shower, I shivered like a nudist at the north pole.

Towel was too small. Quick shimmy and I groaned and threw it in the laundry basket. No one else was around to see me naked, so whatever. Even if there was, my bedroom door was closed. On the bed were my work clothes, which in my groggy state, I tried to fit the shirt on my legs and the pants on my head. After a few tries and tired moans and groans, I got it right. Still, my tie was a little loose.

I’ll fix it on my way there. Or I won’t and I’ll just say I’m setting a new fashion trend.

I glanced down at my limited edition Kamen Rider Black wristwatch and my blood pressure spiked upon noticing the time.

“Fuck,” I cursed, though in my hoarse tiredness, it sounded more like a donkey braying.

Yes, it was ‘fucktime’, that universal concept of that time of day where one looks at the time and exclaims “fuck!” There were many reasons for cursing at a time of day, and it didn’t have to be any time in particular, but the most common reason was due to the situation I was in: I was running late for work.

In a state of fight or flight (which I am always in flight since I could use the exercise), I put a couple of bagel slices into the toaster, wished that my toaster had a turbo speed button, and paced about until those two slices popped up; they weren’t crispy enough, but they’d have to do. Like the skilled painter that I wasn’t, I swiped across the two halves of the bagel with a messy gloop of cream cheese.

No more time left.

I ran out the door, or whatever constituted as a run in my mind, with the bagel halves held tight in my mouth.

This ridiculous display persisted for about...oh, to hell with it, let’s just skip all the embarrassment. Fast forward to when I got to the hospital, drenched in sweat and cream cheese on the cuff of my shirt.

“Ran late again?” The receptionist, I think her name was Wormwood, looked up from her computer. Her thick brown hair was in a bun and she didn’t just have bags under her eyes, but bags under those bags. That’s okay, I’ve had those days as well. From the reflection of her glasses, it looked like she was playing an intense game of Tetris.

“A doctor is never early nor late,” I huffed, trying to sound more self-assured than my short breath would allow.

“Yeah, you wish. Go change your shirt. You’ve got a patient waiting for you in room 413,” she clucked. Was clucked the right descriptor? Well, it was a vague chicken-like tone, so cluck was good enough.

“Why’s it always patients with me?” I joked. She didn’t so much as give a half-hearted chuckle. She could have at least said, “A for effort,” but I guess everyone was a critic. I hurried over to the hospital’s resident dry cleaner, who always had a spare pair of uniforms, scrubs, nice shirts, you name it. Our dry cleaner guy was a typical average dude with stringy red hair, named Marion or something. He always had that strung out look about him that gave the impression that he was pretty trustworthy. I showed him the cream cheese on my shirt and he made an OK sign with both hands, closed his eyes, and shook his head.

“Say no more,” he assured me in the most endearing bored-out-of-your-mind voice imaginable.

As I waited for him to grab me a spare shirt, I looked up and saw a couple of green scrubs hanging around.

“I can’t do this on my own. I’m no superman,” I hummed the tune. Marion (that might not have been his name, but it was pretty damn close to what I imagine his name was) turned and asked, “what?”

“You know, Scrubs? It’s a reference.”

“Oh, man, I don’t know the first thing about references,” he bemoaned in both a disinterested tone and a disoriented one.

Man, nobody appreciates a good reference these days.

After I received my change of shirt, I went into the nearest bathroom and speedran the Trent Dress Up game. Not to brag, but I might have set a new record that day. Okay. Moving on.

Up four flights of stairs I lumbered up, each foot dragged behind the other. Yes, I could have used the elevator, but then that wouldn’t have been very doctor-like of me, would it? I mean, plenty of doctors took the elevator, and there was nothing wrong with that, but I always tried to do healthy things. It didn’t really matter much, I mean, I was already healthy, I was just a little chubby, was all. So what? I was a big ol’ teddy bear in a lab coat. At least I rocked the look.

Twelve rooms down. Then the thirteenth: that was where I heard the assistant.

“Dr. Bark will see you now,” the assistant informed the patient. After she left, which I didn’t really get a good look at, but I’ve probably worked with her before, I opened the door and greeted the patient.

“Woof, woof!” I made my best dog voice, which probably sounded closer to a howler monkey than a dog.

My patient just looked at me, not amused in the slightest. He was an elderly man who looked like a bad caricature of an elderly man. Not one of the kind ones, either. No, more like the grumpy kind who would yell at you if you so much as lived in the general vicinity of the same neighborhood he lived in. Then again, I knew looks could be deceiving and if anything, his face was probably contorted in pain.

“Okay, so I’m not that clown doctor, but if you honk my nose, I will still make a sound,” I gave a nervous laugh as I said. He just continued to stare at me.

It turned out that he had a small seizure just as I entered the room. Lovely timing, really.

Before I could take a break and have some lunch, there were a few more fun moments, gross moments, sad moments, silly moments, the whole gamut. Really, I loved my job because there were many opportunities to treat others and get them to better health. But also I hated my job because it was a job and I hated being the bearer of big bills due to the malicious concept of private insurance.

My sister-in-law was always going on about how I should be more ambitious. How I could try to start my own clinic and treat people for free, out of the kindness of my heart. Which I loved, that really was a dream if I ever had one. But there was the matter of means. Equipment costs money, I’d need more space, I’d have to get all those good prescription drugs that all the cool cats liked. I wasn’t even sure if I could do it, legally.

But hey, if it were possible, I’d do it. For sure. Maybe.

Once I made it to the hospital’s cafeteria, I grabbed a lobster salad with a garlic roll and a pink lady apple for an extra layer of irony. It was ironic because no matter how many times I ate one of those, I could never keep myself away from the hospital. Shame, too. The busier I was, the less time I had to play Monster Hunter.

Anyway, as I looked for a place to sit, I hummed a tune I heard over the radio.

“Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, Alejandro. Fernando,” I hummed. Or rather, mumbled. Because I knew for a fact that I said those words out loud, whether or not I should have saved myself the embarrassment.

“Yes?” Crooned the seductive and husky toned voice of a man I didn’t recognize. I looked around, then noticed that the owner of such a voice was seated all by his lonesome at a table in the middle of the cafeteria.

Oh good, finally a table that’s not crowded.

I made the no-brainer decision to sit across from him at the table. His head sported a vast field of curly black hair as well as the stubble-laden remnants of a rugged black mustache. He reminded me of the guy from that Just Cause series of games, though not sure why, as I’ve never played them, though I had to admit, grappling hooks were pretty cool.

“Did you say something?” I stared into his inviting rosemary colored eyes. Mostly because I felt it rude if I didn’t. Imagine if someone did that to me, just looked away when they spoke to me. Actually, that’s probably happened many times.

“You said my name,” he replied, more plain this time, without as much of a soothing effect, but no less friendly.

“Oh? Alejandro?” I blinked, unaware that I had said anyone’s name.

“No, Fernando, but you may call me Fern. Everyone does,” he smiled as he told me, a smile as soothing as his voice could be.

“Well, I certainly wanna do what everyone else is doing,” I chuckled. “I’m Trent, by the way.”

He gave a slow nod.

“What a beautiful name. Do you know who does the song that you were singing?”

Oh god, if ever there was a time to be embarrassed.

“I just heard the song on the radio! I don’t know anything about it, I just thought it was kinda catchy.”

“I’ll give you a hint: it starts with ‘Lady’.”

Fuck. I was bad at guessing games.

“Lady and the Tramp?”

“No.”

“Lady Marmaduke?”

“No. You have three more guesses.”

Wait. He never said I had a limit of five. Now I was really feeling the pressure.

“Lady Groudon?”

“Close.”

Oh! Now I knew what it was!

“Lady Goomy!”

“...No, not quite. But really close.”

Damn. I only had one guess left, too. The heat was really on now.

“Lady Gloop?”

He bit his lip trying to hold back laughter, but couldn’t, and it all came flooding out.

“Um, did I win?” I wasn’t sure what to make of that laughter, but I had to know. I just HAD to know.

After he settled down, he shook his head and with an aching calm assured me:

“It’s not important.”

“Well, what is important, then?” I grimaced, the answer not given to me.

“The lives of our patients are what’s important.”

Yeah, that seemed a little obvious, though, considering our professions and all. Actually, I wasn’t quite sure whether he was a doctor or not. I didn’t recall ever working with him.

“What do you do here, by the way?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m a nurse, mi amor.”

Once he said that, everything clicked into place.

“No wonder you’ve got that gentle voice,” I observed.

“I don’t have to be gentle if you don’t want me to be.”

“No, no,” I shook my head. “For the sake of the patients, I think you ought to be.”

We went back and forth after that, chatting about this and that, though nothing really important. Really, it was nice, I didn’t usually chat with anyone. Afterward, however, it was back to the grind. Oh joy.

Once said day one was done, I flopped on home and collapsed on my sofa. Next to me was a controller, and I had bought my copy of Final Fantasy XVI the other day, but haven’t had a chance to play it.

“My body...too feeble…” I wheezed out the words as my hands shook trying to reach for the controller. Just as it seemed like the controller was within my grasp, my phone rang.

When there was something in closer proximity than the item that I really wanted, the natural urge was to reach for the one in closer proximity instead.

“Hey Trent. It’s me,” came the sudden and to the point tone of my sister-in-law: Vesuvius.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” I snapped to my senses and sat right up. “Is everything okay? Nothing too serious, I hope.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’ve got a nice little apartment with my beautiful wife. I just haven’t spoken to you in a while and wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Oh, what a relief. I was worried you were having another mental health episode.”

“Hey! I don’t go around pointing out the time you had food poisoning, do I?” She scolded. Yeah, okay. That was fair.

She didn’t have many mental health episodes, but ever since that incident with her and Juniper’s stalkers, she had been more sensitive and more on edge. That said, I really was happy for her and that she was at peace.

“You’re right. God, that was a rough time. Who knew blueberries could be so poisonous?”

“All things in nature can,” she stated. Gee, if anyone knew that, it would’ve been her.

“How are all things with settling into the apartment?” I asked. She hadn’t been there long, but it was a bold step for her, considering her social anxiety, which she tried to act like she didn’t have.

“You know, it’s an adjustment. It gets lonely when Juniper isn’t home. I’m not used to her having anything resembling a job. I hate to sound possessive, but I don’t like that she has one. I wish we didn’t have to make money to live.”

“Be as possessive as you want,” I chuckled. “Er...within reason. Say, have you saved up for anything?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, you always go on about wanting to do that whole ‘cottagecore’ lifestyle thing. So maybe you could save for that and go for it?”

She drew a deep breath, as if she were about to blow a gust of wind out of every orifice.

“First off, I don’t know what a ‘cottagecore’ is, but I’m cautious around anything with the suffix of -core. You know I’m a delicate flower.”

“And a poisonous one,” I pointed out.

“Yes, well, poisonous flowers can be delicate. And hey! Be nice to me!”

I coughed up a chuckle.

“Okay, well, second off,” she continued. “What I want is to live off the land, in a field of flowers. Growing my own field. Having peace and quiet in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah, that’s cottagecore.”

“Don’t say words I don’t understand to me!” She scolded. “It’s really demeaning.”

“Okay, okay,” I tried to settle down with the teasing. “But for real, it’s not like it’s impossible. Juniper could build a house, she likes making things.” Then again, she probably wouldn’t build a house very well, but I’m sure she’d enjoy the attempt. “It may take a bit of money for the resources, but it’s not like it’s impossible.”

“Yeah, well, first thing’s first is I want to see a therapist. Like, an actual therapist.”

“Oh, that could be good for you.”

“Yeah…” Her voice trailed, and the tone of her voice shifted to a more mournful one. “I still remember how I was during that time. I have trouble believing that it’s really over. All of that pain lingers with me. It’s not something I wish to remember, but it’s something I’m unable to forget.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too bad,” I tried to reassure her. I assumed she was referring to the whole stalker incident that occurred at the same time she dealt with her mental health episode. “Everyone has a breaking point. There’s nothing to be ashamed of there.”

“No, but there is. I was confused. Desperate. I hurt the most important person in my life. I hurt someone else that I could have helped. That I could have saved. If I had just known how. If my mind was more clear back then,” her voice shifted into a growl. “I hate it. I hate inflicting pain. Especially because it’s not who I want to be. No who I am anymore,” her voice then grew sharper. Harsher. “Yet I can’t help but feel like it’s still with me, buried somewhere, and I just want to punch a wall, rip my hair out, something! Something to cut this off from me!”

“Hey, hey,” I could tell she was working herself up. “You and Juniper are both sensitive people. Sometimes people lash out when their emotions are heightened. It doesn’t mean you’re bad or anything, but you can work on it. For what it’s worth, I do think you two are good together.”

“Thank you,” her voice quieted back to the mournful tone it was at first and I could hear sniffling and weeping in the background. “I’m sorry. I told myself I would keep composed and yet I went off into that rant. Gee, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re a better therapist than the one I pretended to be.”

“Heh. It’s nothing. You’ve definitely been through a lot. Get yourself some tea or something, that might help.”

“Thanks,” she sniffled again. “What about you? Is there anything new with you?”

“Eh. Same ol’ boring stuff at the hospital. People get sick and die, some people get better.”

“To which?” She let out a weak chuckle.

“Oh, definitely the sick part. I’ve yet to someone get better from being dead, but anything can happen. Fingers crossed, right?”

“Heh…so there’s nothing new at all? What about at the house? I bet you’re glad to have Juniper and I out of your hair.”

“Eh. You guys weren’t that bad to deal with.”

“That’s a relief. Do you miss us?”

“Hmm...a bit. It’s a bit quiet now, but I like it. Means I can play video games in peace and walk around the apartment in my underwear.”

“Indeed, that is a positive. Though I didn’t need to hear the last part.”

I tried to think about anything of substance I could actually talk about.

“Oh! I met someone new at the hospital today! This nurse named Fern. He’s got these beautiful murky green eyes and maze-like curly dark hair. Oh, and his mustache. I bet I’d be ticklish if it rubbed against me,” I announced with a sense of excitement at the prospect of actually having something to say.

“Are you attracted to this Fern person?” She inquired.

While I didn’t quite know where she got that idea from, I wasn’t going to say that he was ugly or anything like that.

“I’m certainly not repelled by him,” I joked. Heh. Magnets. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious, since you described him in such exquisite detail.”

“Eh. Isn’t it normal to describe people you talk about?”

“Not in my experience. Not like that, anyway. But hey, what do I know?”

“Yeah, well, I just met him today, so I doubt I’ll describe him every time I talk about him. He seems nice, in any case. Hey, maybe the four of us could play D&D together sometime?” I perked up at the prospect of having someone else to play D&D with. That was the most important thing about meeting someone. If not D&D, maybe I could gush about 80s Sci-Fi movies or J-RPGs.

“I don’t know...that game always brings out the worst in me...I try to be a healer but whenever I encounter a monster I just want to grind them into dust and then I curse the fact that I didn’t pick a class like barbarian.”

“Heh. That is a problem. You could always just be a barbarian.”

“No. I don’t want to,” I could tell she stuck her nose up just by her tone of voice alone.

“In any case, we gotta get this going on! We never seem to finish a campaign!” I was SO pumped to get this thing going on.

“That’s because I always either quit out of frustration or you end up too busy and we decide to start over from a new campaign as soon as you have free time again,” she pointed out. At least she was honest.

“We’ll figure something out, I’m sure!”

“Mm...well, it was nice talking with you, Trent. I’m glad you seem to be doing well, and good luck with this Fern person.”

“Thanks! You take care too! Bye!”

We hung up and I spent the rest of the day being an exhausted nerdy Trenty bear who somehow did nothing yet time still passed.

As the days went by, I’d spend lunch having conversations with Fern and he said I could talk about whatever I was passionate about, so OF COURSE a bunch of nerdy shit came up.

“About halfway through the game, she dies, but you can get her final limit break later on. This is a way to show that she’s still with the party in spirit and the party keeps it as a memento, even though they know they cannot use it, OR they refuse to use it to honor her memory.”

“I see. And it’s not just the developers making a mistake?” Fern pondered. The gall.

“No way. Game developers wouldn’t just do that. In fact, you can hack the game to make it so Aerith lives, by coming back after she dies, but she’ll say at a certain point, ‘I’m not supposed to be here’. That’s because the developers knew that players would try to bring her back, so they were prepared.”

“Wow. That really is haunting,” he looked moved by my explanation. As he should be.

“The game devs were also brilliant for making her and Cloud be besties instead of a romantic interest. There’s a part where Cloud and Aerith go on a date on a ferris wheel and right before they go on the ferris wheel, Aerith turns to cloud and goes ‘wa...wassup homie?’ and Cloud says, ‘golly gee’ in response. By having them be besties, it shows the importance of friendships over romantic relationships. It’s actually shown in a prequel that Cloud had a boyfriend named Zack, but despite it being canon, many fans prefer to act like the game doesn’t exist.”

“That’s a wonderful message for them to show,” he nodded along.

“Yeah. So anyway, Zack dies in the prequel.”

“Damn. This Cloud guy just can’t catch a break.”

Before I was able to continue the conversation further, I received a beep on my pager.

“...And neither can I. I gotta split.”

That was how our typical conversations went. I did most of the talking while he stared and smiled the whole way through. Most of the time, I didn’t mind that, but it also meant that I didn’t know much about him. He hardly seemed like the mysterious type, and I should’ve known the mysterious type due to the people I’ve let in my apartment in the past.

So the next chance we got I decided I’d hold nothing back. We both sat together, once again with our lunches in front of us, and I popped the question:

“Do you have any siblings?” I was casual as I asked him, plain as day with an egg and lettuce sandwich in my hands. He tilted his head and rested it on his palm, looking even more radiant than usual.

“Why yes. I have four sisters. Two of them are engaged. One of them’s married. The fourth one is still looking for love.”

“Oh wow,” I replied. “You know, you could tell her that she doesn’t have to find love. It’s not the be-all and end-all, after all.”

“I think she already knows that. Still, she wouldn’t mind the experience. What about you, Trent?” He spoke my name with such a delicacy that it made my heart tackle the walls of my chest.

“Uh, yeah,” I stammered. “I’ve got a sister. I don’t even know why you mentioned relationships since I just asked about siblings, but she’s in one. I mean, she’s married, so I guess I’ve also got a sister-in-law. If that counts as another sibling, then I’ve got two sisters, maybe?”

He coughed up a chuckle against his fist.

“Love is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”

I shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess it can be.”

For some reason that simple exchange reminded me of an early memory when Juniper and I were kids and we shared a room, bunk beds, in fact.

She hung upside down from the edge of the top bunk of the bed. I always did tell her to be careful, but she never was good at listening to me.

“Hey bro, bro, bruh, bruv,” she pestered me.

“What is it?” I looked up from the book I was reading.

She held down a magazine with pictures of women in hiking gear.

“Look! Aren’t those girls cute? Aren’t they your type?” She pressed it up to my face. Or as well up to my face as she could. Her aim wasn’t the best when she hung upside down. Nevertheless, I took a glance. Of course, as I was more interested in the book I was reading, I didn’t really pay attention.

“Uh-huh. Sure.”

Not satisfied, she grew in intensity.

“Come on! You didn’t look!”

“Yeah I did!” I shot back. “I’m just more interested in this book right now! You have no idea how cool the Shannara novels are!” Oh, but I wasn’t done. “Also, I’m pretty sure those are your type, not mine!”

She stuck her tongue out.

“What even is your type?” She teased.

I shrugged. Really, I didn’t know then, and even into my 30s, as a doctor, I had no idea if I even had a type. For anyone. After a pause, she then asked.

“Do you think you’d ever have a crush on anyone?”

I gave it some thought. Then, as if it was a no brainer, it clicked.

“If someone was actually interested in me, sure! But c’mon, I’m a nerd. You know how hard it is for people like me.”

She scowled at that.

“That’s just a myth. That shouldn’t stop you.”

She was right. Both back then, and in the present, if she were to tell me that again. But over the years, I grew to have a different excuse.

“Would you ever be open to the idea of love?” Fern’s question brought me out of the memory, back to the moment that I shared with him.

I shrugged.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind. If the opportunity were to occur. But then, I’m always too busy to think about things like that, so it’s never really crossed my mind. I’m sure you can relate, seeing as you’re probably about as busy as I am.”

“Indeed,” he agreed. “But it has its advantages.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“Like how we can spend the same amount of time together.”

Oh yeah. That was a really good point.

“Heh. It is nice to have someone to chat with,” I agreed.

It was a surprise how little time had passed, but I was glad for it. Considering how unpredictable this job could be, I had to be thankful for any precious minutes I got.

“Let’s not worry about that. If we run out of time, we can pick it up another day. So what do you say?”

“So tell me, how did your sister meet her lover?” His curiosity took me by surprise. Not something I thought would be worth asking, but who was I to say what someone did and didn’t find interesting?

All right. So I told him. It seemed he just had that kind of effect on me.

Maybe it was a little cliché, I don’t know, because I don’t know what constitutes as cliché, but it was a rainy evening. I had just gotten off work, I had my umbrella, but it seemed to do me little good as there was a mighty gust of wind and the rain just slid down the umbrella and managed to force itself onto my jacket.

On the way home, I took a shortcut through a side street. I guess it was like an alleyway, but more open. I don’t know, side street sounds appropriate. Curled up underneath the cover of a building’s awning was a homeless woman, a single orange striped blanket over her, damp. Her hair seemed covered in dirt, she shivered, but made no attempt to voice her discomfort. I couldn’t quite make out her face, but maybe it was pity that brought me to pay attention to her in the first place.

Yeah, typical “boy meets girl” story, huh?

At last, she looked up and croaked. Despite facing me, her face seemed to droop low and she looked downtrodden.

“You got money?”

I jumped. Startled. Yeah, not too dignified, but I really just didn’t expect for her to notice me. Once I composed myself, I dug through my jacket pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill.

“Here, it’s not much, but it’s what I got on me.”

“Thanks,” she replied and took it. No more than that. Of course, if that was the extent of the exchange, there wouldn’t really be anything to tell, now would there?

“Hey, I know it’s late, but there’s a cafe close by we can visit if you want a coffee or something. They’re not open forever, but it’ll keep you dry for a little while,” I offered.

She looked up again, scowled.

“I don’t trust strangers,” she stated.

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I’m a stranger, you’re a stranger. I get that,” I chuckled. “I just figured I’d offer, but you can decline. If you’re worried about me being someone dangerous, you can punch me. I’m not really interested in being cruel or violent or anything like that.”

She squinted. I would later find out that was less because of how ridiculous she may have thought me and more because she had poor eyesight.

“Are you that desperate that you would ask a homeless person out on a date?” Her biting remark might have gotten under the skin of just about anyone else, but I’ve probably heard much worse from some of my patients. Instead, I laughed.

“You don’t have to think of it as a date. I don’t. I’m not really the dating type, anyway. It’s just a spur of the moment thing.”

She shifted eyes, turned her head from left to right, then looked back up on me.

“I can’t believe I’m going to agree to this…but sure,” she heaved out the words.

“Cool,” I stuck my thumb out, then continued, “it’s just a couple of blocks away. I really like the place, since I sometimes don’t get off work until real late and it’s open past midnight.”

“I don’t care...when it’s open...but I could use something warm...to drink,” she sounded lightheaded, in a daze.

Once we made our way through the door of the dim lit cafe with neon lighting, she wiped her shoes on the mat.

Oh. What good manners, I thought. As someone who often forgot to wipe their shoes when entering places, it was a nice reminder to see someone else do so. At least I remembered to put my umbrella down, but that kinda went without saying.

As soon as I approached the counter, I turned to her, still drenched.

“Don’t worry about the cost. Order whatever you like,” I assured her. After I said those words, she looked up, squinted, then closed her eyes.

“I would like a lavender mocha latte, but no dairy. Almond milk if you have it. Coconut would be even better. Give four extra shots of espresso, and if you have dark chocolate syrup, use that.”

Damn. It was like she had the whole thing recited and ready to go. All right.

“I’ll just take a black coffee,” I shrugged. I didn’t need all the sugar or any of that extra stuff.

“Oh. I should have went with that too,” she looked down, possibly embarrassed at her order.

I laughed.

“Don’t worry, I said you could order whatever. My treat.”

She made her way to the table nearest to the window, and took the seat closest to the window as well. As soon as she sat down, she lowered her head onto the table and her arms outstretched to cover her head. Behind her, raindrops slid down the window. It wasn’t much an interesting sight, but I wasn’t a very observant person, so I felt I ought to have taken note of something.

“Just so you know, you should probably forget about me after this,” she uttered and despite her words being muffled, I could still make her words out clear as a river.

“If you want,” I shrugged.

“I’m serious. You shouldn’t associate with me. There’s people after me. I’d rather not get anyone involved.”

I pondered if there was any validity to that. Maybe she ran from an ex, or there was some trafficking ring. That last bit was a little dark. As a middle ground, I thought that maybe she had run off from home as a kid (surprisingly, that part was sort of true, in a sense).

“You probably think I’m crazy. Paranoid, even. I get it. Some homeless woman tells you there’s people after her. You don’t have to believe me. Just so you know, I’m homeless by choice. It’s easier this way. You don’t have to believe that, either.”

“Well, if you’re on the run, maybe it’s not by choice?” I suggested.

She looked up, her face still semi-buried in her arms. Still, I could make out eyes through her bangs. Grayish-purple bags under her eyes, but eyes nonetheless.

“Yeah. You’re probably right. It’s been so long, it’s hard to tell anymore. My head won’t cooperate,” she seemed to agree with my assessment, and as if to confirm as much, she lifted her head up and rubbed her forehead with her palm. With one eye visible, she glared at me.

“Just so you know, even if you considered this a date, I wouldn’t be interested. I’m…” she looked around, then stated, “men don’t interest me.”

I chuckled.

“It’s okay. My sister’s a lesbian. You don’t really have to beat around the bush about it.”

Her eyes widened, then squinted again.

“I don’t know why you would tell me that. I’m not interested. My main focus is my survival, it’s just…” She began to glance to her side and down at the floor. “I’ve been running and hiding so long, I’m growing tired. Sooner or later, I might just give up. It’s a terrible thought, but I don’t think I can go on.”

My concern began to grow, even if I didn’t know the scope of her problem.

“I don’t really know what it is you’re dealing with, but you don’t have to deal with it alone.”

“No. I refuse to endanger anyone else,” she seemed adamant about that.

Maybe she was justified, but in a selfish way, that also made me want to help more.

“You can refuse if you want, but the weather forecast says it’s going to be raining over the next few days. I’ve got a spare room in my apartment you can stay in. If nothing else, it’ll keep you dry.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” she looked away once more.

“You wouldn’t be. I’m the one that offered,” I shrugged, a favorite gesture of mine.

“Well...maybe my head is just messed up enough right now, but...fine. As long as I reserve the right to leave at any time.”

“Of course,” I assured her, and I even lifted a feeble smile. Once our coffee was brought over, mine a regular paper coffee cup, hers a ceramic cup filled to the top, we drank in silence. Between intervals of me sipping the bitter bean, I peeked over and noticed how she held onto her cup with a sort of elegance; one hand on the handle, the other grasping the base of the cup, and slow sips taken, not a single slurp to be heard. It was probably a little weird of me to pick up on something like that, I admit.

“I’m Trent, by the way,” I told her out of courtesy. Depending on how long she’d stay, I felt it wise to tell her my name.

“Et...err...Vesuvius. You can call me Vesuvius. Or Ves. I don’t care which,” her eyes shifted and she stammered out the words.

After we finished our coffee, we headed out, umbrella up and ready to go. There wasn’t a long walk ahead of us, and she was silent the whole way through. Not that I tried to make small talk anyway, since the rain was kind of gloomy weather for conversation. She walked with a slump, something I should have warned her to be cautious about, lest she get a hunchback. Maybe she did so because she felt she was too tall to fit under the umbrella, or maybe she had been under such duress for so long that standing up straight no longer registered to her.

Before long, we made our way inside and I showed her to where the spare room was. She didn’t speak a word, not so much as a nod, just went inside. Before I closed the door, I told her, “if you need anything, just let me know. I’ll be down the hall and to your left.”

Still, no acknowledgment. That was fine. Just as long as she heard me. For whatever reason, it didn’t register until after I closed the door that I didn’t have anything like an air mattress or a futon for her to sleep on. That room was bare, empty. Not a single item to be found.

Despite that, I was too tired to do anything rational like look for some spare blankets or pillows, and decided it was high time for me to get some rest. At the very least, I turned the heater on and let it run. It wasn’t something I liked to do, and I didn’t think Juniper would be all that comfortable with it on, but screw it, I was the one who paid the bills.

“Well, time for me to get some shut eye,” I announced, thinking there was no one around who could hear me. However, I soon noticed from the corner of my eye a foam basketball being tossed up into the air.

“Who’s the babe?” Juniper, asked in a rather dull voice. I soon turned and saw her laying on the couch, flat on her back.

“Don’t be disrespectful,” I scolded. “I found her on the street. She’s just going to stay over for a few nights.”

“So now you’re picking up homeless chicks?”

Really, maybe she was just moody ‘cause she was tired, or maybe she just felt like giving me a hard time that night in particular.

��I just felt like doing a good deed, there’s nothing behind it,” I corrected her. Again.

“That’s rather nice of you. Just make sure not to overexert yourself. Your health is important too,” she reminded.

“Thanks.”

I thought I could just go to bed, but then a smile which signified mischief spread across her face.

“So, tell me about the babe,” she wouldn’t drop it so soon.

“Oh, come on,” I groaned.

“C’mon, the babe.”

“No,” I folded my arms on my hips. If she could nudge me from where she was at, she would have.

“You remind me of the babe,” her cheery voice returned, coupled with a sing-song tone.

“What babe?” I finally gave in.

“The babe with the power.”

“What power?”

“Power of voodoo!”

“Who do?”

“You do!”

“Do what?”

“Remind me of the babe! Ha ha ha!” she kicked around the couch and laughed. There were certain nights where I could just tell when she watched Labyrinth that day.

“Okay, okay, don’t stay up too late,” I reminded her. “You know where your room is.”

“Yeah, yeah. ‘Night.”

Ah, Labyrinth. Classic. David Bowie and his tights. Things didn’t get much better than that.

Somehow I managed to tell him all of that with time to spare.

“You have a big heart, Trent,” he told me, which kinda made me want to sulk.

“Yeah...I do try to have a good diet, though,” I pouted.

“No, no, I mean metaphorically,” he patted the air as he spoke, a sure sign of sincerity.

“You mean…?” I stared into his earthen rosemary colored eyes.

“Yes. You are very kind.”

“Oh, phew. For a second there I was worried you meant my weight.”

“No, no. Dear. You are adorable. When I first saw you that fateful day, I said to myself, ‘this is an adorable teddy bear’. I would never have anything unkind to say to a teddy bear.”

“Well, thank you. Does that mean I’m a cuddly looking teddy bear?” I let slip my curiosity.

“I’d have to find that one out for myself. Hey, your story about your sister’s wife got me thinking. How would you like to go out for coffee after work?”

Gee, the possibility never even occurred to me, but it was so simple. Of course.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. I’m pretty sure the place is still open.”

“And,” he leaned in a little closer. “May I consider it a date?”

I laughed a little at that.

“If you’d like to.”

“And,” a little closer still. “Would you consider it one?”

That time, my heart went “boing boing” against my chest. I didn’t know the answer to that one. It was too much being put on the spot, I was used to the attention being on other people.

“Um...not no, but maybe yes...I’m not sure…” Came my disgraceful blabbering until I managed to catch myself and re-compose. “Er...I’m not used to thinking about things for myself...but...sure. You’re a pretty cool guy. Let’s consider it a coffee date.”

So we did. Just a few nights later, after work we walked into the parking lot. He had a motorcycle, with enough of a seat for me to fit in the back. It wasn’t awkward in the slightest and in fact, it played out much the same as many of our conversations at lunch before. It all felt natural between us, like trees. He ordered an oregano tea latte and I had my usual black coffee.

As if by miracle, the sun had yet to set and there wasn’t the slightest hint of rain. We sat across from each other and immersed ourselves in the ambiance of the hums and smooth glitchtunes playing on the coffee shop’s speakers.

“So, if I were to come over to your place tonight, would I see your sister and her wife?” He posed the hypothetical question.

“Nah, they both moved out almost a year ago. They’ve got their own apartment somewhere else in the city, though they’re also saving up to move elsewhere again.”

“So soon?” He tilted his head.

“Well, it’s a dream of Ves’ to live in a field of flowers, open nature, all that stuff. Psychedelic drugs, flowers in hair, tie-dye, I could go on. Juniper’s already found a place a couple of states out, and she found an old beat up pick up truck in a ditch and decided to repair it just for fun. So now all they gotta do is assemble the wood, get some electric lining, plumbing, all that stuff. Which...I don’t have a lot of faith in my sister, she’s no architect or electrician, but she’s the type who gets insistent about doing everything herself, so it’s not like I could talk her out of it.”

“That’s great, though! They’re pursuing their passion. Isn’t that beautiful?”

I shrugged.

“I dunno if ‘beautiful’ is the word I’d use, but yeah. I suppose I’m happy for them.”

“What about you? Do you have any goals?” His eyes fluttered, almost like he wanted to lull me to sleep.

“Sorta, but it’s kinda dumb? I just don’t like the whole ‘charged ten thousand dollars as soon as you walk in and good luck getting your overpriced insurance that you can barely afford, if afford at all, to cover anything’ so I was thinking how it would be cool if I could run my own clinic. I don’t know, maybe it could be funded through donations, but in no way would people have to pay. Like, I doubt I’d be able to do the big stuff like surgeries or transplants, but it’s still something, right? Thing is, that’s kinda impossible, don’cha think?”

Rather than some kind of agreement, he reacted in a rather ferocious manner: he stood up, leaned over, and slammed his hands on the table.

“Trent,” while his voice grew in intensity, it certainly didn’t sound angry. More...motivating. “You must never be afraid of your passion.”

“Uh...okay…” I scratched my cheek. “But what about you? What are you passionate about?”

He sat back down.

“You. Of course,” he answered, so simple, so straightforward in his delivery.

“So, like, does that mean you’d want to play D&D with me sometime?”

He laughed.

“I’d love to.”

“Really? Are you sure? What if you don’t like it? I mean, I don’t even know what your hobbies are.”

“If I end up not liking it, then at least I’ll have found that out for myself. But all of your hobbies, everything that interest you, I want to immerse myself in. Because all of you...is my hobby.”

“Bro…” I leaned forward. “That’s kind of...uh...cool!”

“Oh, and I also like to ride around on my motorcycle. I like watching the sunsets, going hiking, mountain climbing, kayaking, and making ceramic cups.”

Hiking, mountain climbing, kayaking...he sure looked fit. Not to mention, those things sounded like fun, even if possibly dangerous.

“Do you think I could do those things with you?” I asked, hesitant, but I figured if he was wanting to do the things I liked, I may as well ask him in return.

“Of course. You can do whatever you want with me.”

“Then in that case, can I kiss you?” I joked, though it seemed to come out of nowhere. However much I meant it, it was out in the open now.

“Of course. Would you like to do it here, or at your apartment?”

“Err...at my apartment?”

To be honest, I’ve never kissed anyone before. Or been kissed by anyone before. That thought never even crossed my mind and I pretty much figured I’d be fine not having such a thought and continuing on with my life, but dominoes were falling or something like that.

“Let’s go, then,” he stood up and motioned for me to head toward the door. In a hurry, I chugged down my coffee.

I should probably brush my teeth first. Coffee breath probably isn’t a good taste. Then again, would he want to brush his teeth. Should we just use the same toothbrush? Or maybe he packed one with him.

When we shoved our way through the door of my apartment, those questions were erased from my mind.

“I’ve actually never kissed anyone before...I know, in my thirties and…” he put his finger on my lips and made a “shh” sound.

“Relax. I’ll take the lead,” he lowered his hand, then leaned down and spread his lips against mine. As he released, I wished that he hadn’t. But then the thought of my breath returned to the front of my mind.

“Sorry, uh, hope my breath doesn’t bother you.”

“Does it bother you?” He asked.

“Well…it’s probably good to take care of your teeth. I’m not a dentist, but I do think good health is important in all aspects of one’s health and --”

He pulled out a box of mint chews.

“Here,” he opened the box. I took a couple and popped them into my mouth. On instinct, I bit down on them and chewed, despite knowing that I wouldn’t be prepared for the icy hellfire that was the minty taste. After a couple of seconds of huffing, I looked back at him.

“Okay, I’m good now.”

“There is one more interest I have now,” he decided to pick back up from our conversation at the coffee shop for some final choice words.

“Yeah? What would that be?”

“Supporting you and your dreams.”

Then we kissed again.

So flashforward a year or so and through some sort of miracle, such a dream was realized: we converted the apartment into a clinic and moved upstairs to the apartment directly above. Both of us quit our jobs at the hospital so we could focus on the clinic. Really, I couldn’t have done it without him. Or, maybe I could have, but I’d like to think he gave me that sort of push, y’know? That little “oomf.”

There were many improvements that could have been made, and might be made as time went on, but I liked seeing the genuine attempt to help, and the look on people’s faces when they knew they wouldn’t have to worry about cost...worth it. What’s more, people donated freely, and often. We met several people around the community and even convinced some to play D&D with us. I think the biggest surprise was how much of a hit the game was with the elderly.

Oh, and also, Fern and I became boyfriends. Not really sure how that happened, but it did and I’m cool with it.

On one particular slow day, an interesting thing happened: see, it had been a while since any strange people walked through my door. After a streak of Ves, Blanc, and that weird stalker lady my sister hugged, I figured I’d see the last of any weirdness. In fact, I never even thought to tell Fern about any of the weird visitors (besides Ves, of course). But then as I was doing a solo hunt against deviljo in Monster Hunter on my PC in my office, Fern ran into my office.

“Hey Trent, dear, there’s someone outside the front door saying she’s your cousin,” he informed me. I looked up, a little perplexed.

“I have relatives?” I asked, even though it might have seemed like a pretty dumb thing to say.

Never mind the dumbness, I stopped what I was doing and rushed toward the door only to find a short lady with blonde hair who looked to be in her 20s.

“Hello, can I help you?” I asked her.

“It’s me, your cousin. Demetria?” She folded her arms and scowled.

It took a few seconds to click, and then I remembered.

“Ohhh. You were at my sister’s wedding. I think. Probably.”

“Yeah, I probably most definitely was,” she turned her head and spat on the ground.

Fern stood beside me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Who might this be?” He asked.

“Fern,” I gestured to Demetria. “This is apparently my cousin, Demetria. Demetria, this is Fern, my receptionist-slash-boyfriend.”

“You make me sick,” Demetria growled in response.

“What?” I blinked, and I was quite surprised to hear such a thing. “Are you homophobic?”

“No, I’m not homophobic, I just can’t believe you’re dating someone named after a tree! You were supposed to be the chosen one! You could have broken the cycle!”

That was an odd thing to focus on, but good to know it wasn’t too serious.

“It’s short for Fernando, actually, and technically, Ferns aren’t trees,” Fern explained to her.

“All right, buster,” she pointed up. “But you’re on thin-fucking-ice!”

Then she turned to me.

“Also, grats on being gay, I guess. That’s kinda cool,” she eased up her abrasive tone.

“Well, I might be bi. I don’t know. I haven’t been interested in women before, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be interested in any women. I think the real question we need to ask is, is it gay to be in a relationship with another man?” I suggested. Demetria just looked at Fern, who then looked at me.

“Yeah,” they both said at the same time.

“Well, in any case, what can I do for you, Demetria?” I shifted focus.

“Right. I need you to tell me where Juniper lives.”

“What for?”

“So I can go live with them. Why else?”

That was an odd thing to want to do, and I didn’t even think Juniper and Ves would agree to such a...oh, who was I kidding? Juniper was that kind of person.

“Right. Uh...I guess there’s no harm. I’ll write down their address for you. You got a way to get there?”

She shook her head.

“I make it up as I go. I got here just fine, didn’t I?”

Yeah, that was a good point.

I pulled out my notepad from my shirt pocket as well as a pen and scribbled down the address. After I handed it to her, she squinted and scowled.

“Shit. How am I supposed to read this chicken scratch?”

Right. Doctor.

“Here, I’ll just spell it out for you, so you can just type it in the notepad app on your phone or whatever you have.”

“Oh, great. More work for me to do,” she grimaced, but pulled out her phone and pressed the power button.

“Let’s see...a few missed calls from my mom. Typical. Also, a text from Ray. ‘If you ever consider coming back here, don’t. I don’t want to see you again.’ Gee, wasn’t planning on going back there, but good to see I’m not wanted. Typical...oh, here we go. Notepad.”

I didn’t really know what that bit was about, but I wasn’t about to pry. Wasn’t my business. As soon as I told her the address, she turned her phone back off and put it back in her pocket.

How are you going to know where to find the place if you don’t even look at the address?

Oh well. Juniper and Ves’ problem now.

“See ya,” she waved, then ran off. Fern and I waved too, then Fern turned to me.

“Well, she was interesting,” he remarked.

I shrugged.

“Yeah. It tends to go that way. I never really told you, but besides Ves, there’s been some strange people who showed up here a couple of times. First there was Blanc, this amnesiac who was missing an arm. Juniper decided to make a prosthetic limb for them after learning about Fullmetal Alchemist and we kinda let them live here until they just disappeared one day. Then there was this one stalker Juniper had who wanted her and I to leave town but didn’t really explain why and then Juniper hugged her and she freaked out. Not a clue what that was about, but we never saw her again, so I guess we never needed to leave town.”

“Wow, your sister had a stalker?”

I shrugged.

“Yeah, it was horrible, I guess. She seemed rather nonchalant about it, but I could tell it affected her in some ways. She was paranoid for a bit until she met this stalker in person, and then said stalker turned out to be harmless.”

“Still, I would’ve been scared too.”

“Oh yeah, and by the way, Ves is a time traveler. Yeah, you probably think I’m nuts now, but she was originally from the ‘60s and my sister and I found this time travel device that looked like a Nintendo 64 when we moved in. It apparently belonged to Ves’ father. So that time at the coffee shop when she was homeless? Yeah, apparently I met her before that actually and neither of us realized that. Of course, she was a teenager back then and only showed up to take the time travel device back but anyway…”

I realized I started rambling and the more I went on, the more ridiculous things probably seemed.

“...Anyway, you don’t have to believe me, but that was all to say that everyone else who’s ever been in this apartment has been more interesting than me. Including you. Compared to them, I’m kinda just...there.”

He shook his head and placed a firm grasp on my shoulders. He looked me in the eyes.

“No, you are very interesting. How could you not be when you’ve met all of these interesting people? Take it from me: I wouldn’t be interested in you if I didn’t find you interesting.”

“Gee,” I looked away, embarrassed. “Thanks. But also, there’s one more thing: my family has this weird tradition of naming people after trees. Yeah, I’m Trent, but I was named after Treant, this tree monster in D&D. My mom wanted to name me Ent, but apparently couldn’t because the Tolkien estate has the rights to that name.”

“See? Another interesting thing about you!”

“Ha. I’m glad I met you. My mom wasn’t exactly a nice lady, but it was cool that she was into D&D. That’s probably where I got it from. Maybe it’s genetic. Still, neither mine nor my sister’s personalities are like her, although Juniper’s probably closer, though way nicer. It’s hard to explain, but you’d just have to trust me.”

“Every time you tell me something new about yourself, I’m fascinated more and more,” he smiled wide.

We kissed once more before getting back to work. Our day hadn’t yet come to an end.

#writing #remoras full #romance #gay #trent #doctor #clinic #stories #lgbt #dnd

[moonlightreal]

Fate episode 6

When last we left Elemental Academy, I was seeing doomful parallels to every Bad Ending arc in Higurashi.  And sadly, I like the three adults and my genre-savvy tells me they won’t all make it through this last episode.

How much of a downer will the ending be?  Who will end up screwing everything up? (my money’s on Bloom.)  Who’s for the chop?  (my guess is Silva and one out of Dane, Riven or Beatrix.)  Will we finally learn the red truth of what happened at Aster Dell?  Will we ever get the skinny on what the heck Burned Ones are?  Will the show finally give me the lowdown on changelings that I’ve been whining about since episode one?  Will we get the full story on Bloom’s destiny? (My money’s on no to at least three of the four.)  

And I suppose we’ll finally answer the question we started with: Good, bad or irredeemable?  

One last time, let’s dive in!

We pick up right where we left off, Bloom having a mental chat with Rosalind!  Rosalind says, ‘Do you have any idea how special you are?”

...waitwaitwait, is there gonna be a prophecy?  There’s always a prophecy!  A prophecy that the Chosen one would be born in Aster Dell and that’s the real reason Rosalind nuked the place.  Only she didn’t know which of the babies it was, she guessed Beatrix and she guessed wrong.

Am I right?  Sorry, I barely let the episode start, let’s get back.

Rosalind encourages Bloom to bust her out.  Bloom flames her eyes up.

Aaaaand we cut back to the girls in the corridor.  Terra wonders what they could be talking about and Stella teases that she once heard Terra talk about dirt for two hours.  I’m liking friendly Stella, but she faceturned faster than Tinx at the end of WoW!  

Terra’s also worried Beatrix may recover from being frozen and come after them.  Sensible, Terra!  But no, Beatrix will be gone when you get back, off getting the mysterious “him.”  I know how these shows work!

Ahahahaha! I’m right!  Beatrix is gone!  I swear I type these things while I watch, all guesses are genuine!

And then Dowling, Harvey and Aisha bust in.  Yeah girls, you might’ve not done this during a Burned One attack!  Harvey says “Not another word!” which nobody listening is why y’all gonna get the bad ending, and the girls follow him.  Stella resurrects her inner witch to tell Aisha, ‘Hope the brownie points you get from this will keep you company when you’ve got no friends.”  simmer down Stell, she was trying to protect people’s lives…  Aisha goes with the girls leaving Dowling to go after Bloom alone.

Rosalind is coaching Bloom on how to burn through the barrier.  Bloom’s grinning, because magic feels hot and dangerous and you just want more.  Then the barrier goes down and Bloom has a moment of worry about what she’s done before she… has a very caring moment, she grabs Rosalind assuming the older fairy will need water and food after being trapped for so long.  That is really sweet, Bloom.  But Rosalind says, ‘No.  I need magic.”

And here comes Dowling!  I assumed Rosalind would steal Dowling’s magic, but when the headmistress gets there everybody’s gone.

Opening!

Bloom and Rosalind come out a door in the graveyard out in the forest. Secret passage!  Dowling doesn’t know about it.  Dowling doesn’t know about lots of things, according to Rosalind.  Bloom really should be having second thoughts here.  Rosalind has an evil face!

Harvey reads the girls the riot act.  He’s wearing his army coat, the same kind Rosalind wears, from their soldier days.  He’s horrified about all the girls have done.  He turns to go.

And Terra jumps up, “You lied again!  About Rosalind, about everything, and you’re angry with ME?  You can’t punish me for not knowing something you didn’t tell me!”

Yes! Get ‘em Terra!  

Stella and Musa tennis-match look from daughter to father.

Harvey just says, “I suggest you all cool down!” and leaves without facing his daughter’s very sensible argument.  And he magics the doors locked.

Terra: ‘I’ve caught him in a logic trap and he’s used his magic to ground us.’

Stella: “That means you won.”

Then aisha heads for her room to “deescalate the situation by removing myself from it” and Stella calls her a rat of a teacher’s pet and Musa asks for a brief pause so she can get her headphones.  She flees into her room as Stella and Aisha get into it.

There’s Sam!  Hiding in Musa and Terra’s room!

Stella says everyone over five knows not to snitch, even terra knows not to snitch, and Terra gives her a look.  Aisha brings the logic: burned Ones, outside!  Bloom, kinda single minded!  Rosalind, an extra problem we don’t need right now!

Dowling checks the stone circle.  Nobody there.

When she leaves, Rosalind and Bloom appear.  So Rosalind is mind/light at least.  Rosalind puts her hands over the center stone and absorbs magic.

Bloom asks what happened at Aster Dell.  Rosalind makes a very evil face. ‘Everything Farah told you is true.  I lied to them.  I told then Aster Dell was evacuated.  It wasn’t.”

Bloom starts to wonder if maybe she released a baddie.

But rosalind has more to say.  ‘One of the fundamental tenets of the Otherworld is that only fairies can do magic.  The settlers of Aster Dell were the exception.  They were humans who drew on sacrifice and death.  Blood witches.”

Gee it’d have been nice to hear that fundamental tenet sometime before the last episode! 9_9  

So Rosalind saw an opportunity to wipe out the totally unforeshadowed witches along with the Burned Ones.  And Bloom was a fairy baby kidnapped by the witches.  Her fairy parents are still unknown. Bloom’s freaking out, but Rosalind just says, ‘You weren’t safe in the Otherworld, the power inside you was too great.  that’s why the witches wanted you, to use your power.”  and the Burned Ones can sense Bloom’s power and want to get rid of it before it’s used on them.

Yikes! Bloom realizes her presence is putting everybody in danger!

Rosalind: ‘Sucks to be special sometimes, doesn’t it.”  But now they can go after the Burned Ones!  And Rosalind has another trick to teach Bloom…

Hmm, so these Burned Ones were just… around?  And gathering because they sensed Bloom’s magic?  I assumed someone summoned them back after not being seen for 16 years.  

We go to the fighters at the barrier.  Remember how last episode Bloom drugged Sky and left him passed out at the stone circle?  Well Aisha found out somehow and told the teachers so Silva is giving Sky the “why did I find this out from Aisha?’ and Sky hits back with, “Why’d I have to find out about Aster dell from Bloom?”  But they’re in the middle of a siege situation here so Silva logically suggests they talk about that later.  

Another few specialists including Riven and a girl named Kat who knows Stella are watching Noura’s last video.  Kat thinks she knows where it was shot.  Silva says, “Let’s go.”  Just him and five students. Riven says, ‘Without fairies?  that’s fucking stupid, there’s six of them!”  and Sky shuts him down; order’s an order.  That’s the most twit-ish thing Sky has done this whole show.

They hear Burned Ones growling… but it’s coming from the direction of the school!  Yikes!  Everyone rushes back!

At Alfea, the lights, that were never bright anyway so we’d remember this is a dark show, flicker out! Terra says the electricity runs on magic and there are energy wells… Sam says he’ll go check it out. He Kitty Prydes it through the door, unbothered my the sealing spell.  So if he can phase, can Terra learn it too?

Spooky empty corridors!  Flickering lights!  Sam all alone!  Y’know Sam probably can’t do that trick Kitty does where an enemy launches at her and goes right through, because he can only phase through earth-y and plant-y stuff.

Yikes! It’s a jump scare!  Burned One right in Sam’s face!  It claws him and he goes down yelling in pain!

But he manages to get back into the girls’ suite to tell them there’s a Burned One loose in the school!

Back with Bloom and Rosalind, Rosalind’s encouraging Bloom to channel lots of magic.  “More!  Let the fire consume you!  Control limits you!”  bloom says she’s scared and Rosalind encourages her to embrace that feeling, to enjoy it!  “And with the right people around you...”

Bloom unflames.  “You mean with you.”  Bloom’s realized it!  “You want me to listen to you and trust you and let you guide me?  I just met you.’  and that’s not all!  Bloom realizes Rosalind left her on earth a danger to everyone around her, to hide her from Dowling. “Without any guidance.”

Rosalind: ‘The guidance you needed was love.  Farah couldn’t give that to you.  Vanessa and Michael could.”  Ugh, so their names are canon. And Rosalind knew about their baby and “gave them a second chance. And I gave you a hiding place from the monsters that wanted you dead.”  And rosalind says she’ll always look out for Bloom, and when this is over they’ll find Bloom’s birth parents.

I dunno Bloom, maybe ask a whole lot more about how she knew about an Earth couple whose baby had a heart defect?

It had occurred to me that Beatrix might be the other half of the changeling swap, if there’s healing magic that can fix things like that.  

But no time for that, Burned Ones are in the school and the girls are stuck in their room!  Bloom has to go help.  She asks Rosalind if she’s charged up enough to help help.  Rosalind says she can’t, “But you don’t need it.  BS, Rosalind, you could totally help. But Bloom runs off leaving the lady with the evil face all alone.

In the suite, Sam is getting worse, they can’t get out, and cel phones are giving up.

Bloom races toward the school.  She hears noises from every side… but there’s Sky!  At least bloom seems relieved he’s ok after she spiked his drink.  He doesn’t seem nearly as upset as he should be over that, but I guess we gotta save the school first!

Inside dark halls there’s Riven and Kat with flashlights.  They hear noises, but it’s just some students led by a male fire fairy with a handful of flames.  Kat goes with them to the “courtyard” which I’ve been calling the cafeteria, I guess it’s outside?  The big set with the arches and walkway overlooking it.

So Riven’s all alone to get the rest of the students from this area! He goes into the greenhouse… and there’s Dane!  And Beatrix lying asleep on a table.  Dane brought Beatrix here but she’s still paralyzed from the spell and Dane doesn’t know how to help her.

Riven just says it sucks for her and she’s not worth it.  Which true we’d be better off without her but also yikes, heartless much Riven?

Dane: “She cares about you and I know you care about her.  Don’t act like you don’t.”

Riven shrugs and turns to go and Dane grabs him.  Riven says fine, he’ll help.  Dunno why they don’t just carry Beatrix to where the students are gathering, that’d be safer for everyone.

Sky and Bloom are having the “you drugged me.” conversation.  And the “I trusted you, I told you things.’ and “you trusted me but you’d still have stopped me.’ and “you were gonna release a murderer and a crazy ex-headmistress.” and Bloom starts realizing everyone had reasons for what they did and Sky wraps it up, ‘just because they’re doing what they thought was right doesn’t mean that it is.”  

Back with the girls, Sam’s getting worse and something is banging on the door!  it’s Sky!  Did he just kick his way through an enspelled door?  Badass.

Sky and Stella look at each other and say hey.

Then we all head for the courtyard and comparative safety!

Dowling is magically sealing the beautiful arched doors with trees in them, she tells the boy fire fairy to get his compatriots to weld them shut, and everyone to start making barricades.  Silva’s handing out armor to fairies who want it.  Harvey has a whole chemistry lab set up with a lunch lady helping him.  Badass Marco is still getting treatment for his injury when the girls bring Sam in for help.  Sam’s in a bad way.  Harvey asks why they didn’t bring him immediately and Terra reminds him they were locked in their room.  Harvey flinches.

Dowling stands on the stage where we saw Luna before, as behind her fire fairies weld the doors.  She tells them the situation: Burned Ones in, power out.  But she got word to Queen Luna and the army’s on the way!  Everyone looks at Stella when she says that.  They’re safe in the courtyard… but if the Burned Ones get through before the army comes, they’ll have to fight.  Dowling does her best to be inspiring, “Let’s show them what it means to be Alfeans!”  But I just feel… the lack of history.  And I know, we have history. Feels like we don’t.  

Sky and Stella have a moment.  Bloom told him Stella ran away from home. Stella: “Home’s on its way here, so that’s fun.”  Sky offers to help her hide but Stella says she’d love to take him up on it but… ‘Breaking up was the right thing to do, we never should’ve gotten back together.  We are codependant at best, toxic at worst. This time I have to deal with it myself.”  yay Stella!  Grow into a better person!  Sky says she sounds just like Bloom and Stella jokes that that’s what he’s into these days.

Meanwhile Bloom is following Dowling trying to convince her not to be mad. ‘Rosalind isn’t the monster you think she is.”

Bloom, you just met her you said it yourself!

“She had a reason to lie.  The settlers of Aster Dell weren’t innocent. They were blood witches.  And my birth parents weren’t even there.”

Dowling just sighs and says “She certainly has a way of winning people over doesn’t she.”  Dangit, I wanted her to just kill the retcon and say, “there’s no such thing as blood witches, Bloom.”

Bloom goes with, ‘is your ego so fragile you can’t even consider for a minute you might be wrong about her?”  Dowling says Rosalind is just manipulating, Bloom says you’re doing that too, and Dowling sensibly points out Dowling could be here defending herself and also defending the school.

Bloom flinches from that logic but says Rosalind is still too weak.  

Dowling says the stone circle is the conduit to the magic of the land.  It supplies everything… like the electricity.  And the barrier.

Yup. Nice job breaking it, hero!  Bloom singlehandedly brings about the bad ending!

Bloom says the Burned Ones are after her, and Dowling had figured that out. Bloom says she knows how to fight them now, but Dowling points out, ‘you’re he reason we’re in this mess, you’ve done enough. Help the other fire fairies weld the doors if you want to.’

And she strides off, pausing to suggest to Aisha that the other water fairies could use her leadership.

Aisha had been coming to talk to bloom I think, but she changes her mind.

In the greenhouse Dane and Riven are making a medicine to revive Beatrix.  Turns out Riven is good at potions because he used to hang out with Terra.  ‘Look, I’ll deny saying this but she’s not the worst.”  

Ok, that makes Riven’s nasty remark to Terra in the first episode way worse.

Riven: “I might’ve led you astray this year...’

Dane: “you didn’t.  Beatrix is special.”

Riven: ‘You are gay, right?  I’m not blind?  I know when someone wants my dick.”

Dane: “I think you’re hot.  She is too, in a different way.”

There’s nothing like a cute threesome!  ...and this is nothing like a cute threesome.  But now the problematic element sits up and says, ‘You made the right choice.  Rosalind will be impressed.  When this is all over, you’re going to want to be on our side.”

Burned Ones growl!  Rosalind pulls magic from the stone circle!

And Sam is in a bad way.  There was a splinter of Burned One claw near his heart.  Dang, I should’ve put him on the list of people for the chop!  Musa tries to use her mind magic to take some of his pain, but it’s too much for her.

Harvey starts falling apart, stuttering that he can’t get the splinter out.  Terra encourages her father, and Harvey manages to pull the claw splinter out.  sam’s alive, but until the Burned One that tagged him is dead it’s only a matter of time!

The fire fairy boy says he heard they have the rest of the night and a whole day before the army comes. Too long for Sam, and if the Burned Ones get through the doors too long for all of them.  Bloom, who’d been watching in horror the results of her bad choices, sets her lips and strides out.

Bustle of students putting up barricades.  Sky is working with Badass Marco, then he turns and there’s Bloom with an apology.  “I should’ve been honest with you like you were honest with me and I’m sorry.” And she reassures him that the kiss was honest, and gives him another one for emphasis!

Sky: “If I still say I don’t believe you, can we do it again?”

Well Sky is the most sane and stable person here, he’ll be good for Bloom!  And immediately her catches Bloom’s glance and says, ‘whatever you’re thinking of doing… I’m here.”

And Aisha knows Bloom’s gonna try something, because Bloom always tries something and this time she thinks it’s her fault.  Stella tries the, ‘If only her friend hadn’t turned on her..” and Aisha feels bad and she’s sorry.  And here’s Bloom, come to get them! It’s the last episode, we all get to go fight!  

Sky’s not with them, he’s with Silva and Silva has a final confession to make.  Because he thinks they’re all gonna die tonight, he wants to tell Sky the truth about what happened at Aster Dell.  Because that was where Sky’s father died.  But Sky thought he died in battle…

Flashback! On the plains.  Silva is yelling that there were still people, the town wasn’t evacuated.  He wants to run and tell Rosalind.  This must be while the magic users are up on the cliff ready to call down lightning.  Silva says his friends think they’re only killing Burned Ones, but Andreas says Rosalind knows the truth.  And he’s going with what Rosalind said.  

Silva says ‘I know Rosalind gave you a sense of purpose, I know you’re indebted to her.” backstory there, but surely Andreas wouldn’t be on side for nuking hundreds of people?!  Silva says, orders or morals?  And Andreas… yep, he’s Team Rosalind.  he’s not gonna let Silva warn the others.

He does not say, “They’re evil blood witches, we’ll show you the evidence and then come back.” which is really the only correct thing to say here.

Punches are thrown!  The two warriors scuffle.  Then Andreas goes for his sword.  Silva draws his own.  And a few swings in, he runs Andreas through.  And races to the top of the bluff to stop his friends being accessories to a massacre.

Oof! What a thing for Sky to learn!  And before that, Silva says, Andreas really was a great hero.  Just… flawed.  As we all are.  That’s not much good and sky snaps, ‘What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”  But he’ll have to work it out later because now the Burned Ones are breaking in!

Dowling and the specialists move to the front, Dowling saying, ‘Keep your emotions in check.  Runaway fear leads to runaway magic.”

In the clinic Harvey and Terra battle to keep Sam alive.  Terra goes to get help and finds Musa zoned out with headphones.  Terra begs for help and Musa says she can’t bear to feel somebody she cares about die, not again.  This Musa’s mother dies last year, and Musa was with her and felt everything.  Oof!  The two girls hang onto each other and cry for a moment then Terra says, ‘It’s ok.  I’m not gonna let him die.”  And, understanding, leaves Musa to her music. But headphones can’t shut out the sound of the Burned Ones banging on the walls!

In the courtyard terra walks right up past everybody and starts dismanteling the barricade!  ‘We’re hiding when we should be fighting.”  Silva tells her they’re gonna be fighting soon enough and indeed, here comes a Burned One through the roof!  The boy fire fairy blasts it and Kat is ready to skewer the thing when it… passes them?

It’s looking for Bloom!  Who was last seen sneaking out a trapdoor with Stella and Aisha!  The banging stops, and Dowling figures out Bloom has left to draw the enemy away!

The girls emerge from the secret passage in the graveyard.

Harvey calls Terra over as she is clearly headed out to fight, but he says she needs to stay with her brother, to help him hold on until the Burned One is destroyed.  Then Musa appears and takes Sam’s hand. She’ll help him as long as she can.

Outside Stella points out that her mom is on the way with a real live army, but Bloom says there’s no time for that.  Rosalind taught her how to stop the Burned Ones but she has to do big magic and she’s not sure how that’ll work.  She needs help.  Aisha will be there with her water magic in case the forest catches fire, and Stella can hide them.

Bloom: “Rosalind wants me to believe that she’s the person I need to get through this.  But she’s not.

Aisha pulls the water from the pond into a cyclone around Bloom.  Bloon lights up her eyes and lifts off the ground and… transforms. Transforms-ish.  Flames spiral around her arms and legs, and around her body.  Bloom’s clothes don’t change but fiery veined wings open behind her, first very large then dwindling as Bloom lands back on the ground.

The designers definitely could’ve watched PGSM to get this, if they then decided to tone things way down.  And why not change her clothes?  I’m sure they could’ve managed something.  As a live action transformation sequence it’s… ok.  They were trying for something cool and they had some good ideas how to get there, the fie spirals were good, but they needed to really run with it and they didn’t.  So it’s just ok.

And how the night did Rosalind know the long lost secret of how to transform?  

Burned Ones advance and Bloom blasts them with fire one after another.  When the last one is down, her wings go out.  And where the Burned Ones fell are… specialists?  People, anyway.

Dowling arrives and Bloom collapses in her arms, then Aisha and Stella rush over to help.  “We did it.’

Inside Sam suddenly feels much better!  Terra hugs Musa.  The lights come back on.  

In the greenhouse too, where Beatrix and the boys are ready to bring the bad ending!  I still smell a bad ending, because we just had a good ending but there’s twenty minutes more to go!  The boys say they should rejoin their classmates but Beatrix says they should wait to meet Rosalind and her dad, who have a plan.  ‘The two of you can be part of it.  This doesn’t have to end.”

Dane asks if it was her dad who sent her to Alfea and B says he’s technically not her dad… and here’s Rosalind coming in the greenhouse doors.  She and Beatrix recognize each other though they can’t have met.  B says the boys are her friends and Rosalind reads their minds.  I wanna say the boys are wondering what they’ve gotten into but… no, they don’t seem to be seeing anythuing wrong with this at all.

The girls are putting Bloom to bed, talking about the good ending they think they have.  Sam will be fine, Terra’s great at doctoring and she’s sad she missed seeing Bloom’s wings.  Tinkerbell is mentioned and I can just hear my friend cringing as they say Bloom’s wings were cooler than Tinkerbell’s.  Bloom’s parents call and Aisha talks to them, covering for Bloom.  She calls it her ‘one allocated lie of the week” which is weird.  Bloom’s awake and fine, she could talk to her folks.  Aisha says they’ve been having killer exams and the girls giggle.

Nobody says, ‘ohmigod the secret of wings was lost ages ago, what exactly did you do? help us all learn it!” which seems like a very obvious thing for everybody to be saying.

Also being all happy and going to bed while Rosalind and Beatrix are unaccounted for is a weird choice!

Silva and some specialists are scouting for her.  No luck.  They find Dowling with the bodies of the ex-Burned Ones.

Dowling: “Bloom transformed, Saul.  She spent one night with Rosalind and unlocked ancient fairy magic, magic we thought was lost.  She told Bloom the settlers of Aster dell weren’t civilians, they were blood witches.”

And Silva seems to believe it.  Which of course means he killed his friend for no good reason.  If it’s true.  But if it’s true why didn’t Rosalind and Andreas tell the others, present evidence of the blood witches’ crimes, and make a plan to deal with things aboveboard?  So why does Silva believe it now hearing from Dowling who heard from Bloom who heard from Rosalind well after the fact? But he does believe it and this is his awful moment of guilt.

Sky too is grappling with what he’s just learned, pacing on the lawn outside the school as the night ends.

Bloom finds him as the sun rises and I gotta say, I was not expecting the night to end!  Everyone heard Bloom “went full fairy last night.” Bloom says it was the first time she truly felt like herself.  She says, “I belong here.”  but she realizes Sky is in the same clothes as last night and asks if he’s ok.  He says he’s fine, which he isn’t.

Then Dowling comes looking for Bloom.  The two fairies go into the headmistress’ office.  Bloom’s feeling ok after her big magic, and suddenly she apologizes for all the awful things she’s said to Dowling.  “You found me when I was lost, brought me to a safe place, gave me guaidance.  Surrounded me with amazing people.  And I’ve been...’

Dowling says, ‘It’s forgiven.”  And Bloom hesitantly asks for a hug, or maybe offers one.  Dowling looks like she’s never heard of hugs before, then she stands up and she and Bloom hug.  Dowling totally gets teary-eyed.

Dowling: “When I became headmistress I made a decision.  To become a figurehead.  To project strength.  It’s what students your age need.  Admitting mistakes invites uncertainty...but not admittng them means people you care about have to ask you if you hug.”

Awwww, that was sweet!  Dowling says she should have been more honest and Bloom says she maybe needed time.

...are we maybe NOT having a bad ending?  I mean if Stella confronts her mum that would take up the time and we could end on a good note! Nobody’s dead yet!  But all that bad-ending buildup...

‘Cause suddenly we’re back on Earth and Bloom is going to tell them the truth!  Which, what good will that do them?  And do you even know the truth?  People told you lots of things.  And the rest of the girls are here to hang out over the weekend!  They head upstairs so Bloom can drop the “changeling” bomb in peace.

Music plays, Bloom speaks and her mother cries and looks at a baby book, ultrasounds and a newborn hospital bracelet.  They believe it too, the whole mad story of fairies and magic.  Of course Bloom summoning double handfuls of fire probably does a lot to convince them.

Sweet family montage, Bloom hugging her parents, the girls at the kitchen table, eating pizza.

Back at Alfea, Silva asks Sky where Riven is.  Sky just says he and Dane are probably off getting stoned.  When is this?  Did y’all not do a full headcount after the battle?  Sky is of course not happy with his mentor.  Silva just says, ‘one day I hope you’ll see everything I did was for your benefit Sky.”  Which, if Silva’s parenting produced Sky the paragon of decency and Andreas’ parenting produced Beatrix the occasionally charming also slutty obsessed murderer, good point there!

Here come some doomful black SUVs!  They pull around and out hop a bunch of soldiers who surround the two confused guys.

Queen Luna gets out and… arrests Silva for the attempted murder of Andreas of Eraklyon!

Yow! Poor Silva looks most confused.  But there he is, Andreas gets out of an SUV still wearing his specialist vest thingy.  Sky looks at his resurrected father in shock!

Dowling is looking over some graves.  Rosalind suddenly turns up!  Turns out the Burned Ones are a sort of zombie, they were human once so when Bloom turned them human again and dead Dowling buried them.  I hope she tried to find their next of kin and stuff too.  Rosalind knew about them.

Dowling: “Are there more out there?”

Rosalind: “Shit ton.”

Rosalind must’ve already met Riven, his speech patterns are rubbing off on her!

And then Rosalind delivers the prophecy.  There always is one.  Or in this case, “There’s a legend.  It’s a thousand years old. That’s how old the Burned Ones are, by the way.  They were soldiers from an ancient war.  The legend is about the magic used against them.  It created them.  it’s powerful.  It’s primal.  The Dragon Flame.”

Whaaaaaat? Really?  Come on.

And that’s what Bloom’s got and that’s why she could transform. Rosalind let the Burned Ones into the school to see if Bloom could do it.  Dowling’s upset about the danger to, y’know, everybody.

Rosalind: “there’s a war on the horizon.  The Burned Ones are nothing compared to what’s coming.”

And Rosalind says she’s taking over the school, pretty much.  We go back to the front yard where Silva’s getting hauled away in handcuffs and Queen Luna is giving the ordersy and there’s Beatrix watching and inside someone’s taking down Dowling’s portrait and putting up Rosalind’s.

Soldiers march into the greenhouse and Harvey and Sam smile weakly, smart enough not to try anything against six big dudes.

We learn that Andreas has been in hiding all these years because “I needed someone to raise Beatrix.”  Uh, wow Andreas is one obedient guy!  He also looks a little nutty.  I dunno, the very regal beard… it’s too much somehow.  Next to him Beatrix smiles at Riven and Dane who are I guess her loyal retainers now.

And then, infodump over… Rosalind straight up MURDERIZES Dowling!  Well first she suggests Dowling might want to run away and take some time off, but Dowling is having none of that so Rosalind kills her!  And then angry rock music plays as Dowling’s body sinks into the ground and flowers come up over her, making one more grave.

The girls return from their weekend on earth wearing the awful clothes from the trailer and discover… not the three adults they were expecting!

Well that was… something.  You got the bad ending all right!

So lemme scroll up and see how good my guesses were…

Nobody but Dowling died, so my death guesses were wrong.  And if she’s an earth fairy she might be able to heal herself under the ground or something, I mean weirder things happen in this kind of show.  Bloom did indeed doom the school by releasing Rosalind.  

We learned what I guess is the truth of Aster Dell, but... unforeshadowed blood witches?  Reeeeeally!?  That’s what you’re going with?  And we found out Burned Ones are ancient zombies created by the unforeshadowed Dragon Flame which Bloom has for some reason. You’re supposed to foreshadow the important stuff for the night’s sake!  That’s how things have weight in your story, that’s how you make the world feel real like the parts of it are connected to the other parts of it!  The lack of worldbuilding has been bugging me more and more, can you tell?

Anyway we get a season two.  I’m pleased because I’ve enjoyed plenty of aspects of Fate, but on the other hand… Fate has turned the already weird Winx fandom into a pit of radioactive rage-bees, and I won’t be sad to put that behind us!

So what about the big question?  Good, bad or irredeemable?

I expected to judge how Fate lines up as a Winx Club show, but it… just doesn’t.  At all.  None of the characters are the same, none of the worldbuilding is the same.  It’s apples to oranges.

But as just a show… I think I’d have to go with “bad.”  The way the world feels so flimsy, all the really obvious bits of Otherworldbuilding that just aren’t there until the end, or aren’t there at all.  All the Earth popular culture references.  Beatrix being stuck in a slut stereotype role.  All the drugs.  All the everyone’s lying to everyone about everything, it got really tiresome.  Those things knock the show out of the “good” category.

But there was a lot to like.  I have to say, all the actors did a really good job.  Given the semi-mess they had to work with, they gave it all they had!  Stella was so awful but put across that she’s terrible because she’s terrified.  Sky was a truly good person. Beatrix and Riven are objectively terrible people but both had moments of being so charming it was hard to hate them.  And Dowling, Silva and Harvey managed to hold up this flimsy worldbuilding and almost make it work.  The magic was flimsy but pretty and the castle and the forest are absolutely stunning.

So it’s not good, but there’s something there.  So it’s not irredeemable, though there’s a lot we have to wallpaper over with it.  I’m’a go with “Bad.  The show has charms but is in general bad.”  

At least that’s what I think after a five-hour marathon of the last episode!  We’ll see what occurs to me in days to come!

#fate the winx saga #you get the bad ending

[rpf-bat]

Strike A Violent Pose

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Drama, Romance

Summary: Sequel to Spent My High School Career Spit On And Shoved To Agree (x ). Requested by @robinruns. You’re excited to take Gerard as your date to the school dance. But, as soon as you walk in, the bully who got you suspended wants to pick another fight. 

Returning to school had been hard. Everyone had started whispering in the halls when they saw you, talking about what you did to Matt to get put on suspension. The fight had happened in a crowded lunchroom. You were sure half your graduating class had seen it.

But, tonight would be better. You’d donned your nicest dress, and you were standing on your front porch, waiting for Gerard to pick you up and take you to prom.

You smiled when you saw his familiar Subaru XT pull into your driveway. He got out of the car, wearing the cutest black tuxedo (his mom’s) money could buy.

“Gerard, you look so handsome,” you complimented.

“Thank you….Wow, Y/N, that dress looks so beautiful on you,” Gerard gasped. You could see him blushing, visibly reminding himself to look you in the eye, instead of at the dress’ plunging neckline. You didn’t really mind. You’d wanted to be his for such a long time, and you were thrilled that he wanted you back.

“This is for you,” he smiled, pulling a corsage from his pocket, which matched the red rose affixed to his suit jacket.

“The flowers smell really nice!” you grinned, attaching it to your wrist. “Are you ready to go?”

“Absolutely,” Gerard nodded, opening the Subaru’s passenger door for you.

You’d ridden in his car dozens of times, on car-pools to school in the morning, and late-night visits to Taco Bell, with Iron Maiden blasting on the radio. But, somehow, now that you were dating, this felt different. You found yourself oddly nervous.

“Hey, Y/N?” Gerard asked as he sat in the drivers’ seat.

“Yeah, Gee?” you blinked.

“Would it be alright, if, uh….during the drive to school….could we uh….?”

“Could we what, Gee?” you giggled. “Spit it out. You’ve never had a problem talking to me before.”

“Could we hold hands?” Gerard blurted.

It was such an innocent request, that you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I mean, I’ll need to keep one hand on the steering wheel, of course,” Gerard rambled, “And if you don’t want to, it’s ok, but…..”

“I want to,” you smiled, and laced his fingers with yours.

He beamed. You couldn’t wait to dance with him tonight.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You entered the school gym together, still hand in hand. A DJ was playing loud dance music, and chaperones stood in the corners, eyeing the dancing couples.

“Want me to get you some punch?” you offered politely.

“Sure,” Gerard nodded. “I think I see Ray, I’m going to go say hi to him.”

“Ok,” you smiled, and walked over to a plastic folding table by the bleachers, where you saw a bunch of Hi-C fruit punch juice boxes stacked together.

“That’s weird,” you mumbled. “Last year, there was just a big punch bowl, and some plastic cups.”

“My fault,” apologized a familiar voice behind you, and you turned and saw your friend, Frank.

“Oh, that’s right,” you chuckled. “I remember last year….you snuck vodka in, and spiked the punch, when nobody was looking.”

“Sure did,” Frank grinned. You noticed that in place of a suit jacket, he was wearing a leather motorcycle jacket with his slacks and tie. Nice.

“I think,” Frank continued, “that the principal told them to have juice boxes instead this year, so that nobody could ‘tamper’ with them.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you joked, sticking out your tongue at your band-class buddy.

“I know, right?” Frank laughed. “I might duck out early, go home and get stoned.”

“Don’t say that where the teachers can hear you,” you chuckled.

“You look like you’re in for a fun night, though,” Frank noted. “I saw that you walked in with Gerard...are you two going out now?”

“Kind of,” you blushed. “I guess you could say this is our first date.”

“Sweet, I’m really happy for you guys,” Frank smiled. “So, are you….”

“Hey!” a loud voice interrupted, and your hands balled into angry fists. It was Matt.

“So, they finally let you back here, after the little stunt you pulled, Y/N?” Matt barked.

“Stunt?” Frank repeated.

“Oh, you hadn’t heard, burnout boy?” Matt sneered. “Your little psycho friend over here, attacked me and my boys, for no reason!”

“It wasn’t for no reason,” you snapped. “You hurt Gerard!”

“They did what?” Frank asked with narrowed eyes.

“He was being a little nancy boy,” Matt scoffed.

“And that gives you the right to kick him?!” you demanded.

“If he acted fucking normal, I wouldn’t give him such a hard time,” Matt shrugged.

“He is normal,” you huffed. “You’re just a bully.”

“Neither one of you is normal,” Matt laughed meanly. “Both of you are fucking freaks. The little soprano lady-boy, and his dyke girlfriend who thinks she can hit like a man.”

“I don’t just think,” you growled, “I know I can kick your ass!”

“Y/N, calm down…” Frank cautioned.

“No, I won’t calm down!” you insisted. “You didn’t get enough at the lunchroom, asshole? You wanna eat another knuckle sandwich? Come at me!”

“You must really like getting suspended,” Matt rolled his eyes. “Three days wasn’t enough to teach you how to calm your tits?”

“Grrr….” You were about to lose it.

Matt turned and started walking away. Goddamnit. You weren’t about to let him have the last word. You grabbed a juice box off the table, and without thinking, threw at the back of his head.

“Ow!” Matt cried, whipping back around to see what had hit him. “What the fuck?!”

He looked at the juice box, which had bounced off his noggin and hit the floor.

“Thanks for the drink, you dumb bitch,” Matt grinned.

“Huh?” you blinked.

He picked the juice box off the floor, punctured the top with the straw, and took a sip, smirking at you smugly.

“Wait….no….”

I was supposed to be getting a drink for Gerard, you remembered suddenly. I got distracted. I let my anger get the best of me.

“Give me that juice back!” you demanded. Gee is going to be wondering why I’m not back yet.  

“No, fuck you,” Matt refused. “You threw the drink at me, I’m keeping it.”

“I need to give that drink to my boyfriend,” you argued.

“Get your own juice, loser,” Matt insisted.

“That was my juice,” you grumbled.

“Come get it then,” Matt challenged, dangling the juice above your head. You jumped up to try and reach it.

“Ha, you’re too short,” Matt mocked.

You spotted Coach Rickly in the corner. He must have been roped in to chaperoning the dance.

“Coach!” you called. “Matt took my juice and he won’t give it back!”

The gym teacher walked over to you, eyebrows raised. “Why does Matthew have your juice, Y/N?”

“Uhh….” you hesitated. “Um, because, I, uh, threw it at him, sir.”

“Do you think, that maybe, you shouldn’t have done that?” the coach asked you, arms crossed.

You reddened, embarrassed. “Y-Yes, sir.”

“Maybe this will be a lesson to you,” Coach Rickly sighed. “Don’t throw things at people.”

“Because they might keep them,” you nodded.

“Or, because throwing things is not a nice thing to do,” the coach pinched the bridge of his nose. “But, whatever reasoning works for you, Miss Y/N.”

Suddenly, you saw your French teacher (apparently also a chaperone?) stomping over to you.

“Mademoiselle Y/N!” she hissed. “Moinseur Matthew says you attacked him again!”

Shit, you thought. He snitched.

“We will not tolerate such violence at a school event,” the teacher hissed. “I want you and your un de plus to leave the premises immediately.”

“Y/N?” Gerard gasped, walking back over to you when he heard the commotion. “What’s going on?”

“We’re leaving, Gee,” you sighed, feeling embarrassed. “That’s what’s going on.”

“What?” Gerard gaped. “But, we just got here!”

“I know,” you stared at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

We didn’t even get one dance in, you thought, before I had to be an idiot, and lose my cool. Now Gerard is being kicked out, too, just because he’s with me.

“It’s ok,” Gerard mumbled, linking in his arm with yours. “If you wanna go, let’s go.”

He led you out into the parking lot. You felt the cool night air on your face, stirring the hair you’d spent hours straightening. Not that it mattered now.

“Alright, do you want to explain to me what happened back there?” Gerard asked, looking you in the eye.

“I got us kicked out of the dance,” you confessed.

“How?” Gerard asked. He didn’t look angry, just confused.

“It was Matt again,” you explained. “He….he was calling you names.”

“I told you before, he’s not worth it,” Gerard frowned.

“You’re right,” you admitted. “It’s just….it’s not fair, the way he talks about you. You don’t deserve it. You’re such a great guy. And I’m such a violent, impulsive person. I always cause trouble for you.”

“I don’t see you as trouble,” Gerard assured you. “You have a really strong sense of justice….that’s one of the things that I like about you. But, it’s not up to you to play Batman, and avenge all the crimes that our teachers choose to ignore.”

“I’m not Batman,” you scoffed. “I’m just….a crazy girl with anger management issues. I’m so sorry that I ruined your prom night, Gee….why do you even tolerate me?”

“I don’t tolerate you,” Gerard insisted. “I really like you. A lot. I just never thought you would like me, in quite the same way.”

“I like you,” you smiled softly. “I might even love you.”

The two of you stood on the concrete in the darkness for a moment, both red-faced.

“You still want to go back in there, don’t you?” Gerard guessed. “You want to mess Matt up for ruining our date.”

It was like he’d read your mind. Even knowing that there would be consequences, and knowing that Gerard didn’t want you to get revenge for him, you still wanted to punch Matt’s lights out.

“I’m just….so mad!” you cried, frustrated. You probably sounded like a little kid.

“Is there anything you normally do when you’re mad?” Gerard asked. “Something that calms you down, or makes you feel better?”

“Music,” you confessed. Listening to a singer scream in your ears could be so cathartic. “But, I left my Walkman at home. Damnit.”

“I have a couple CDs in my car,” Gerard offered.

He led you back to his Subaru, and pulled a worn copy of Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness from the glovebox as you climbed in. He pulled Disc 2 from the case, and popped it into the CD player, pressing seek/scan until he found track number nine.

“Here,” he said gently, and as he pressed play. Billy Corgan’s shrieking voice filled the vehicle.

She didn't wanna be, she didn't wanna know She couldn't run away cause she was craaaazy She gave it all away, she saw her baby BREAK! And in the air it hung that she was dull razors

And I said, I wanna fill you up

I wanna break you…

You sang along with the words, and screaming them released the emotion that had built up inside you.

KA-BOOM! Rat-tat-tat, and some good ole bliss 'Cause I'm a sister, and I'm a MOTHERFUCK I am made of shamrocks I am made of stern stuff I am NEVER ENOUGH! I am the forgotten child!

Gerard turned the volume up, and his voice mixed with yours, as you listened to him sing along with you, the pair of you banging your heads in perfect synchronicity.

And in the eyes of the jackal, I say KA-BOOM!

Now we begin descent!

To where we've never been There is no going back, this wasn't meant to last This is HELL ON EARTH!

And we are meant to serve And she will never learn

SHE WILL NEVER LEARN!

AAAAH!

You realized you were panting. Your hair had come loose from the fancy pins you’d tried to do it up with. And somehow, you’d lost the urge to go kick Matt’s teeth in.

“Feeling better?” Gerard grinned.

“Absolutely,” you smiled. “Thank you. That was exactly what I needed.”

“Well, then, if you’re feeling up to it,” Gerard smiled, “I believe you still owe me a dance.”

“But, Madame said we’re not allowed back to go back inside,” you protested, still feeling a bit guilty.

“Then, dance with me right here,” Gerard invited.

“In the parking lot?” you laughed.

“Yeah!” Gerard nodded. “Why not? I don’t care about all those people in there. I don’t care about drinking punch. The only thing I wanted to do tonight, was dance with you, Y/N.”

“Alright,” you smiled. “Yes, Gerard, you may have this dance.”

Gerard took Disc 2 out of the CD player, replacing it with Disc 1, and skipping to track two. A gentler melody, with soft violins, began to play from the speakers.

Time, is never time at all.

You can never ever leave

Without leaving a piece of youth...

Gerard climbed out of the car first, and offered you his hand. You took it, and followed him. He put your hand on his shoulder, and his arm around your waist.

It was bizarre, in a way - you were outside in the cold, dancing on the cracked asphalt of your high school parking lot. But as Smashing Pumpkins poured from Gerard’s car stereo, and he twirled you in slow circles, holding you tight, it was somehow indescribably romantic.

We'll make things right We'll feel it all tonight (tonight) We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight The indescribable moments of your life tonight The impossible is possible tonight (tonight) Believe in me as I believe in you Tonight….

Gerard dipped you low as the song crescendoed, like a tango, and you took the opportunity to pull his head towards yours, and kiss him on the mouth. Gently, at first. Hesitant. But, then harder, as your impulsivity once again got the best of you. He didn’t fight it.

You pressed him against the hood of the car, and he let you, accepting kiss after kiss from you.

“Y/N…” he gasped, breathless.

“Do...do I need to slow down?” you blushed. Once again, I’m doing stuff without thinking.

“No,” Gerard looked up at you with eager eyes. “Y/N, I love your passion. You fight like a maniac, and you kiss like maniac, too. Even if they call you crazy….I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

#gerard way x reader #gerard way imagine #high school au #i actually didn't go to any school dances as a high schooler #but the juice box scene (and the teacher's reaction to it) were 100% based on real events from my sophomore year lol

[bbparker]

Slip of the Tongue. Pt 3. Peter Parker)

Synopsis: Peters rival in everything he does is actually his girlfriend, but nobody knows that due to Peter not wanting to compromise her safety. But one day, Peter accidentally lets slip to a friend about (y/n)’s home problems, and suddenly (y/n) is the pinpoint of everyone’s gossip. Where does this lead?

A/N: OKAY I CRIED IN THIS ONE AND ITS SUPER LONG BUT HONESTLY HOLY SHIT A RANGE OF EMOTION IN THIS. Also, set the Monday morning, before Peter confronts her about her Bruises.

Warnings: Swearing,  emotional combustion, also, 

PLOT FUCKING TWIST 

Words: 2,745 (not even sorry)

Songs: Lights Down Low by Max, & Sad Songs by We The Kings (ft. Elena Coates)

Monday morning, (y/n) stood before one of her favourite places. (Y/n) smiled, looking into the window of the little eatery, the swinging teapot. It was probably one of the only places she had to herself, not even Peter knew about it. Entering, (y/n) nodded to the waitress, being familiar with the staff made it easier to order. 

The bruises on her face still stung no matter how many times (y/n) had iced them. Her mother wasn’t helping with the constant pestering, so getting fresh air seemed to be the better activity than sitting in her room. (Y/n)’s mother and father had begun fighting again last night, this time over something she’d wished she’d never had to confirm.

Sitting down at her usual table, (y/n) felt one stare in front of her. Looking up, (y/n) found the face of Liz, the schools most liked girl. Sneering, (y/n) looked down to begin doodling on the napkin with a pen from her bag. She hated that she was now the freak show to everyone. What, like they didn’t have home problems themselves? (Y/n) sighed.

The problem was that she was in the spotlight when everyone found out and things are always worse for those in the spotlight because everything is criticised and people find it easier to hate you over small incidences than it is to love you at all.

Sighing again, Meryl, the waitress comes past and puts her tea carefully on the table. “You alright love?” The British slang hung in the air, (y/n) relaxing at the sound of it. It was different from the all American one she’d been hearing talk rumours about her for the past week. Looking up to Meryl, the woman gasped. “Honey, is there someone I should be having a talking to?” Laying a soft hand on her shoulder, (y/n) let herself smile honestly for the first time in a week. “No, Meryl. I just tried to stop a bad guy and the good guys don’t always win, do they?” Meryl smiled sadly patting her shoulder. “No, not aways honey. Keep being that good person I know you are though.” With that, Meryl stepped away to serve another customer.

Thinking about it (y/n) realises she wasn’t that good of a person. Not in her high school career at least. Looking down, (y/n) let the tears brim her eyes. All through her high school career, she’d let people peer pressure her into doing some heinous things to people, even Peter. In the beginning of High school, she was so desperate to fit in and be apart of the popular crew, she didn’t care who she embarrassed or locked in lockers to get there. She wasn’t a good person, maybe she deserved whats going on with her. One memory struck her about the things she did to Peter before this year and her and Peter began dating. They were brutal, uncalled for and still makes (y/n) hate herself today. All this time she thought this whole situation was his fault, which it kind of was, but didn’t she deserve it? If she were any of the people she’d hurt over the years, she wouldn’t blame them for hurting her the same way.

Coming to this revelation, (y/n)’s head fell to the table. “Rough day?” (Y/n) didn’t even have to look to know that sweet voice everyone adored.

“Gee, was it the rumours, my face or my banging of my head on the table that gave it away?” (Y/n) still didn’t look up, not wanting to face someone who gained everything (y/n) wanted by just being herself. Not everyone had a pretty face to win people over with.

“No, definitely today in particular. Who beat you up?”

Sighing is something (y/n) seemed to not get enough of this week. “Wow, go all out. We’re practically best friends- why don’t I tell you-“

“(Y/n), just tell me.” (Y/n) was a bit shocked that Liz had cut her off and took a minute to gather her thoughts. Finally looking up into the beautiful chocolate face of Liz, “I tried to stop an old lady getting robbed. Didn’t work out so well for me.” (Y/n) looked down and began stirring her tea before taking a tentative sip of the pink hot liquid. “You’re a hero.”

Something snapped in (y/n), like a chord that's been wearing thin the last couple years. “Don’t call me that. You know who I am and what I’ve done. I tried to play hero, turns out I’m not meant to be the good guy.”

Liz looked quizzically at (y/n), “what are you on about?”

“Liz you’ve seen me throughout our high school, I’ve not exactly the angel my parents think I am… though it could be because they’re too busy arguing but whatever…”

“You weren’t awful-“ With a look from (y/n), Liz knew her bullshit had been spotted. “Okay but so what? You can come back from this. You’re clearly a strong girl.”

“Why are you helping me? I’ve hurt you and your friends before.”  The mistrust was clear in (y/n)’s eyes.

“Because I don’t think you’re a bad person. I just think you’ve made some wrong decisions but that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Just staring as Liz stands up, (y/n) mutters in thought as an idea just struck her. “You’re wrong and you’re probably about to learn just how mean I can be.”

Liz stares after (y/n) as she stands and drops money on the table. “I’m a nightmare and if people want to call me deranged, I’ll show them just what that means. After all, it runs in my blood.”

Smiling manically (y/n) left, leaving Liz with her mouth open. “What was that?”

——

That afternoon…

“I need her back Ned… I haven’t even tried anything to get her back and I’m already out of ideas!”

“That’s because you are weird and can’t communicate with the opposite sex properly. This often results in bad relationships and the inability to give advice.” Both males turn towards a girl standing behind them, also known as Liz Allen.

“Listen, I want to help.”

….

Peter’s mouth was open and instantly blubbering like a fish. Ned just turned into a statue. “Look, I know we barely know each other Peter but I don’t want to see (y/n) go down this path.” Snapping out of his stupor at the sound of (y/n)’s name. “Wait, what path?”

“Yeah, what path?” Ned repeated. “Dude, don’t repeat what I’m saying!” “Dude, don’t- oh sorry” Ned laughed nervously. Peter shook his head and turned to Liz. “Look she said something this morning when we were talking this morning. She was all dark and said ‘I’m a nightmare and if people want to call me deranged, I’ll show them just what that means.’ It was actually quite freaky how much she looked and sounded like one of those bad guys Spider-man fights.”

If Peter wasn’t worried before he sure as hell was now. He saw it this morning as well, some kind of darkness that he wasn’t willing to accept from her was definitely present. It scared him and he wondered what she would do.

“I’ll talk to her this afternoon.” Ned snorts. “Yes, because that has gone so well the last couple of times.”

“This time I won’t be going through the window.”

——

Its been three weeks and all attempts to see (y/n) had failed from accidentally running into her on the street to visiting the tea shop Liz said she liked. Its like (y/n) knew what he was up to and could avoid him easily, luckily Peter had one last thing up his sleeve. Throughout his attempts to confront her, he’d seem some interesting things. (Y/n) making shady deals, meeting all types of people and even skipping school. He didn’t want to admit let alone think about whats happening. Not to her, not to his (y/n)

(Y/n) sat at her desk working all the parts together on her contraption. She was a genius, getting her hands on the plans for this wasn’t exactly hard for her. Tony Stark’s security was a letdown, almost too easy! From there the government, particularly War Machines area.

When Liz had come to talk to (y/n) the chord that snapped was unrecognisable at the time but later on (y/n) had realised what it was. It was her conscious mind deciding to not hold back anymore. The final peer pressure and torment. Her final act.  

(Y/n) heard the knock at her front door, with her mum greeting someone with a great surprise. She paused hearing the footsteps coming down the hall to her room, before scrambling to cover her project. She couldn’t get busted, she’d nearly finished it!

A tentative knock on the door and (y/n) slowly opened it to be greeted with Peter’s puppy face. Sighing (again) and leaning against the door, (y/n) looked almost bored seeing Peter. She was done with him trying to continuously fix the situation, she didn’t deserve to be near such a good guy as Peter Parker. Its probably confusing her thoughts on Peter and how quickly they changed but with the encounters with all these people made her realise - she was the monster and she’d been held back too much. Peter was the good guy and him telling people was his equivalent of revenge. (Y/n) now understood and within her unstable mind this all somehow made sense that Peter ends up as Spider-man and her…

“(Y/n)? Look-“

She opened her door and invited him in. “Oh, I can come in now? Cool!” He excitedly moved into (y/n)’s room, looking around and noticing all her poster had been taken off the wall and her room lay half bare. In all honesty (y/n) had sold most of her things to buy the parts she needed for her project but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

“I did some redecorating.” The plain words fell out of her mouth like nails on a chalkboard to Peter. Shaking his head at the strangeness of her attitude and room, he moved towards her holding his arms out. “Look, I know what I did was wrong but I miss you so damn-“

“I forgive you.”

“W-what?”

“I forgive you.”

“Y-you do? Does that mean we’re back together? I mean if you wanna be…”

“Peter, yes I forgive you but no… We’re too different now; we can possibly it back together like the puzzle pieces we used to be. Somethings changed and not to be cheesy but it's not you, it’s me.” (Y/n) began fiddling with her pants.  

Peter laughed lightly at the small joke. This was better than her yelling at him at least. “Look I-“ a computer beep went off and (y/n) cursed herself for not shutting her laptop. “Is that- are you… are you hacking Tony Starks system?!”

Slamming the laptop shut, “its really none of your business, Peter.” “I mean it really is being a hero and all-“

“Yes, which is precisely the reason you shouldn’t be here.”

There was a subtle pause, both hadn’t noticed how close they’d been when they had both moved for the laptop. (Y/n) looking up at him, Peter looking between her eyes and her lips. Chests almost touching, Peter breathed out “but I want to be here, always.” (Y/n)’s heart skipped a beat, like the first time Peter kissed her (yes, he made the first move). They couldn’t resist and like magnets, both lent in and met each other in the middle in a feverish and desperate kiss. Her hand reached for his hair, running through it and Peter’s went to her waist, pulling her into him. Both missed this fever, the touch and the taste of each other. Leaning down, Peter hooked his arms under both of her thighs and lifted her, placing her on the table behind her. Luckily she’d moved her work out of the way before he came into her room. The tempo gained as it went from fever to desperate, both wanting this to never end- the tension building from the last month. Peter stepped between her legs and returned his hand to her waist but her legs wrapped around him pulling him in.

His lips trailed a line from her mouth to her neck and luckily Peter remembered where her sweet spot was. Sucking and licking her sweet spot, (y/n) couldn’t resist but let out a breathy moan, “Peter…” Putting her hands either side of his face, (y/n) brought his face back to hers, where their lips connected once again.This wasn’t about pleasure, to her it was their goodbye, their bodies trying to remember everything because it wouldn't happen again.  His tongue slowly prodded her lips before finally getting to really taste her after nearly a month apart. 

(Y/n) pulled away, with Peter’s lips following before she stopped them with her finger. Looking into Peter’s eyes, (y/n)’s eyes conveyed so much which she could no longer say. The timing was wrong, Peter was her past but oh how she wished he was her future. Unfortunately for (y/n), some lucky girl would come along and be exactly what Peter needed. He deserved it because that girl certainly wasn’t her. She wasn’t good, not anymore. She couldn’t afford to be.

This was her last act.

“I love you, (y/n).” Peter’s eyes didn’t waver, they pierced her soul.

Leaning her forehead on his, Peter closed his eyes but (y/n)’s remained open. “Peter, I….”

Peter began mumbling desperately, pulling her closer to him if possible as if she was about to turn to dust. “I know, I know- I never told you when I should have, but I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. The thought alone kills me- please.” 

His plead sounded so desperate, as if (Y/n) was his life source, his soulmate. The pure emotion in Peter’s voice, shocked (y/n) to the core, he’d always been sweet but this was bordering on the edge of something so unexplored by her. His eyes were still closed as if he was imprinting this moment in his mind.

Shifting herself on the desk so all of her body was pressed against Peter, (y/n) brought their lips together one final time. “Peter, you know whats happening. What I am about to do-“ seeing his surprise at her catching him out. “I know when I’m being stalked. I’m not mad. But you know, don’t you?” Peter nods, trying not to cry, looking anywhere but her eyes. “Then you know why we can’t be together or near each other.” I-… I don’t want this to happen to you (y/n)… just, please. Don’t do this…”

(Y/N) looked at him with pity and some semblance of sadness, his emotions beginning to affect her. Of course (y/n) loved him but it would never work. 

“Peter, you know why I have to… I have no future anywhere, doing nothing else. Even if I'll try they’ll find me. I think I’ve known about the family business for a while. It explains why my mum wants a divorce so badly. I’ve heard it come up a couple times only now I know what it means but, I think you always knew.” Peter squeezed her hips in confirmation, squeezing his eyes closed tighter as if this were a nightmare he wants to wake up from.

“The times you heard, my parents fight about it- you’d known the organisation, and you’d never said anything. I think you were hoping, believing I was different. That's why you were talking about it with Ned and Michelle, but it was lucky someone only heard a tiny part of the conversation. Just imagine my family being apart of HYDRA getting out. I think that’s way worse than divorced parents.” (Y/n) lightly laughed, hooking her arms behind his neck. He didn’t laugh, it made the pain grow, blaming himself for all of this. 

“It’s truly okay Pete.” The sweetness in her tone almost shocked Peter and hell, it nearly shocked her as well.

Peter still wouldn’t open his eyes as tears poured down his cheeks.

“I never wanted this for you, I…” It went unspoken but both knew that their time together, like this together, was growing smaller by the minute.

“I love you Peter Parker and… I’m truly sorry things turned out this way. HYDRA has a way of ruining things like family for people…”

Finally opening his eyes and looking at the love of his life, Peter’s eyes dropped watery diamonds down his face. (Y/n) carefully kissed them away, “I don’t want you to ever cry for me. I’m not worthy of you Peter Parker.” She was an Angel turned Devil but she was still his. Putting his hand on her cheek, thump rubbing her cheek softly. As if catching his train of thought. 

“I’ll always be yours, Peter.”

In Memorium of: Peter Parker and (y/n)’s relationship: (p.s look out for part 4)

Gif credit to @sensualkisses  

Tags

@readytocomply15 @suit-lady @dxnaii-rxse @lilyannez  @eliza-hamilton-helpless @purelittleblueberry @yoinkpeter @iamwarrenspeace @fuck-my-marvel @jahanana @feelmyroarrrr

#Peter parker x reader imagine #peter parker imagine #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #SOTTImagine #Imagine #Angstimagine #heartbreakimagine #HYDRAImagine #bigplottwist #spider-man imagines #spider-man x reader imagines #fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader fanfiction

[flameontheotherside]

Episodes!

Took a few days or a day off from posting. He wants me to keep posting so here it is (Erik I hope you’re happy because I really don’t want to)… For about a week I’ve had to deal with a lot of shit. From losing my job to not getting a response from them about money owed to me to not being able to get my medications sent to the right pharmacy to having to reschedule my Dr appointment for all the way out to the 9th!

I have a hard time dealing with all this bullshit. I just want to sleep and leave it all behind. Erik keeps bugging me about being patient and not killing myself. He’s told me my episodes will kill me. Great. Just fucking great! I really am fucking crazy! I talk to a dead guy whose made me believe to be my TF.

I have a lot of doubts and he’s frustrated with not being able to get his message across! Having every right to feel so depressed, confused and scared I just can’t deal with all that on top of everything!

Asked him what’s the fucking point. Im nobody other than a crazy person stuck in a neverending bullshit cycle. I have nothing to look forward to because when I do it goes to complete shit so what’s the fucking God damned point?! Seriously.

Yeah I’m pissed.

Today I got pissy with my bf about helping me clear things in the house that have been sitting there in the way. Again had to clean up my cats mess. STILL CAN’T GET HIM TO THE FUCKING VET BECAUSE MY OLD JOB WANTS TO TAKE THIER SWEET TIME TO CUT MY FUCKING CHECK! I just can’t right now.

My ceiling is falling apart!

Great now I’m crying. Fucking life is shit. I had convinced that I had lost my fucking mind and all he could do is tell me my episodes will kill me. Oh well fuck it. He said “suicide sits to close to you” referring to my medications on my windowsill and a bottle of whiskey I got for my birthday. I had been staring at it.

And he keeps saying that I’m eventually going to kill myself. Gee… I wonder fucking why. Maybe because I feel like a shitty person. I need anger management and a priest. Fucking christ give me a damn break for crying out loud! This is all too much. 🙃

… And he’s telling me to count to ten. Sometimes I even want him to shut up. Easy for him to say. He’s dead! Ha! I’m fucked dude. Like I really want someone to bother me so I have a reason to blow up. I’m so close to cursing this bitch out for giving me the runaround about my check. I already blew up at my bf for just simply breathing the same air as me. Bipolar. Yaaaaaaay. Fuck my fucking life bro. *bangs head on wall* Really want someone to just kill me. Sorry.

📩Email: [email protected] 📲Facebook Messenger: MoniqueNonGrata 💻Skype: Moniku88Starr (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Request a tarot 🔮 reading! 😉 First consultation is💯 free. 5$ after that.

Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elise Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. (◕‿◕)♡channelingerik.com

… And Youtube.com/user/drmedhus

(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 😉💕 As always, we thank you for stopping by!

#erik #channeling #channelingerik #twin #twins #flame #flames #twin flames #twinflame #soul #souls

[itain]

long.. complaint post essentially

id say rant but its less anger than just.. despair i guess

oh god i feel at this moment.... very hopeless

ive just kinda been frozen since i got home,,, talked some, ate dinner, etc... but there is so much i need to get done but i {feel i} cant do until i finish one thing in particular...... like so many rows stacked up in tetris that all get cleared with the one block that fits them all... i mean perhaps nobody thinks its that big a deal,,, idk......... i just feel like i cant breath... literally it feels like my chest is a bit tight just thinking of all this shit stressing me... like once i finally get one thing done turns out its not done and i had 10 more things to do as well... i feel that in the time it takes for me to take one step, i’m pushed back like 20 paces....

you know when you have so much stressing you that you play games or just fucking fill your mind with static to pretend nothing is wrong?? you waste time having fun while the stress just looms next to you all day every day?? thats like my usual state of being.... and here is the other end.. where things come crashing down, and im panicking, and im frozen because i can never solve things, i have to find an order in the chaos, and at this point everything immidiately turns negative and i wonder why im even alive rn... i like that ive written this much and still remained so vague.......... SIGH

uh lets see i mean its mostly all just financial shit

the biggest block rn is the fucking gym... gee am i getting so damn sick of this shit.... i am ready to sccream over this fucking gym...... ive been trying to quit almost since ive started... i FINALLY send the shit i need to on time..... and they didnt do it???? so i need to call them tomorrow asking why they havent drafted the quitting fee, and im sure theyll ask if i did the fucking secure mail where i get notified when they recieve it, and no i didnt bc i dont have money, and they will come up with some bullshit excuse reason why i cant quit still, and at that point ill want to scream and cry, i fucking wish that could solve my problem??? why cant i be like my dad who yells at the customer service people on the phone till they solve everything for free???? why cant i ask that of him now?? thoughts like these... who let me be an adult, how will i not get fucked out of shit because im a fucking pushover who just wants to please everyone and be polite.....

then lets see.......... the student loans..... the big issue with this... i mean 50 bucks a month starting in october... i mean we will fucking see if i have the money... considering im already drowning now, i fucking doubt, but my biggest concern is the logistics... what amount am i paying back? how do i know that its set up to draft out of my account??? questions i dont want to ask anyone because i’ll feel like a fucking idiot and i’ll just cry about it instead pls.... so i’ll just rot till october tyvm...

and what else... my biggest fear is the combination of these two, that i cant quit the gym and im paying like 75 fucking bucks a month for two things that have made my life nothing but hell...

but i think the other biggest stressor is the small shit adding up rn... for like 2+ months (i havent really counted but i know its been a long time now) my phone isnt working without a charger.... and to even get it replaced for a working model is like 75 bucks.. id buy some shit phone but thats 20 bucks that can be spent towards surviving... like, see above bills.... oh and id switch to an old phone of mine to even ask if thats possible would fucking cost money bc metro pcs wont answer shit without seeing money first ugh.. its made all communication and leisure time way more difficult as im chained to the wall and only a few short times a day for either.... so setting aside that, ill just fucking pray for that for christmas orz the other “small shit”...... oil needs to be changed on the car,,, means i have to find some time to buy oil, figure out what fucking oil to buy, where to buuy, if i have the money, etc... communicate with coworker friend and get a day we both have off so her friend?? can change my oil for me for free, bless.... but thats not even possible till i get back from my vacation.... so a week or two..... then we have the registration sticker that needs to be updated before september,,,, 80 to 85 bucks my dad said... that obv cant be updated with a code on my car so again, it has to wait a couple weeks... even driving with a code on my car gives me such anxiety...

so moving on to.... i guess the tiny shit that isnt as big problems but only have become such because im mega stressed..... thought i had finished the laundry... found another bag orz... apartment much more disorganized than i thought.. you know how order in the home gives a certain peace of mind.... and vise versa.... bf and i are fucking depressed and at least i want pills but that is a faraway dream rn, booking a fucking appointment, much less having $$ for a perscription????? trying to work out then losing motivation so quickly as always... but because i want to dedicate my energy towards cleaning this place... which just somehow never happens.... just never seeing a way to save money??? ive been so damn frugal and i still cant pay my bills and here i am with more bills, meanwhile my dad posting his stupid fucking bullshit on facebook about “choose happiness” like money doesnt have a fucking say in the matter.... and all the low self esteem and negative thoughts that accompany all this situation... wanting to “do something nice because ive been having a hard life/week” and then still feeling like shit, or feeling guilty for having spent anything then complaining about money...

i guess last thing i wanted to touch on..... the vacation... bfs mom takes me with them on their family vacations.... honestly i feel like the goth in the prep family? like im too much drama to make them happy.. ive been pretty open with her about my feelings towards my dad and stepmom, mostly bc she is super giving and nice and agrees with me against them.. and recently ive been more open, like about my depression even... and like... she even said she would get me a scrip... like....... i just.. this kind of thing, the vacations, the covering my half of rent, even while she doesnt have a job rn (she is rich but tighter on $$ now so) but i feel so guilty accepting it.. like if i justify it, then arent i being too greedy?? but i literally cant refuse it, or i’d be on the street right now so..... but i just feel like she owns me... if i were her daughter i think id be more okay but like... if john and i break up she put like, thousands into SOME CHICK.... i feel like in the far future i’ll need to write her a check too;; i told bf i wasnt rly feeling the vacation... of course because of the neverending drama surrounding me (yeah yeah im not saying drama is drawn to me, yeah i create it okay) this will just kinda strain more the relationship and they’ll all think i have some issue with them or smth that i gotta ruin every family trip... so i’ll just go.. but like... self esteem is out the window, so i wont want any pics.. i doubt bf will either, we both have gained so much weight, and i have perma acne that gets worse by the day, and i cant even afford to get my hair cut or colored again so its just this grown out mess.... then in the other respect of a vacation... i think ill just be worried the whole time about my finances... i mean i wont be able to spend money on anything so -shrugs- i get to just look at a bunch of nice things, thinking “i wish” or feel the guilt of her wanting to get it for me.... oh god yeah and same things w my friends.... i want to hang with them?? but i dont have money for shit??? and every time they pay for smth i die inside bc when will i even be able to pay them back its the same thing but theyre poor TT

anyways i guess thats most of it..... i guess im feeling tired maybe ill just pass out watching some youtube videos.... i was wanting to get a drawing done but ~*the cycle of feeling like shit*~ will occur worse then...

#negative #long post #dont read #sorry i exist #i wish i didnt too #the shit thing is even writing this out and posting im like... #its like there is two of me and one is saying you just want attention.. you want pity. you want money. #well fuck i want happiness but ill get what i can i guess

[the-desolated-quill]

WHEEEEEEEEDON!!!! - Quill’s Scribbles

Yes. I’m back. I was aiming to stay away from Tumblr for at least a month so I could fully rejuvenate myself, but that was not to be thanks to Warner Bros. and DC’s latest kamikaze move. Joss Whedon is in talks to write, produce and direct a Batgirl movie.

For the record, I’m not happy about this.

So instead of the over the top, triumphant return I imagined in my head, I instead return to Tumblr like the grumpy caretaker who has to clean up the mess after a frat party.

Okay. Well I suppose the first question I have to ask is:

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING DC?!

Joss Whedon?!... JOSS WHEDON?!?! You can’t be serious!!!

But hold on, I can hear you saying. Joss Whedon is a self proclaimed feminist writer. Why would there be an issue? Well because there’s a world of fucking difference between saying you’re a feminist and actually being a feminist.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think Joss Whedon is a bad person. He seems to mean well and I’m sure his attempts at writing strong female characters and tackling women’s issues are well intentioned. I believe that he believes he’s a feminist. The problem is... well... his female characters.

We all remember Buffy The Vampire Slayer, right? It recently celebrated its 20th anniversary and at the time it was considered a massive step forward for women on television. Nowadays, while it still has a strong cult following, it isn’t held in quite as high regard. The reason for this is because there are elements to Buffy that were overlooked at the time, but are now considered extremely problematic or just downright offensive. Buffy does succumb to a lot of sexist tropes, most notably the women in refrigerator trope (where a woman’s suffering is used to progress the male character’s storyline), as well as the frequent ways sexual freedom or promiscuity is often punished in the show and the way Whedon’s writing seems to contribute to rape culture. There’s one instance where the gang-rape and murder of a minor character portrays two of its participants in a sympathetic light, and then there’s of course the notorious moment where Spike tries to rape Buffy, after having practically stalked her for two seasons, only for the act to bring them closer together and contribute to Spike’s redemption arc.

Criticism has also been extended to some of Whedon’s other projects. Firefly has been criticised for its casual racism and cultural appropriation, Dollhouse has been repeatedly criticised as being mysogonistic due to its frequent issues with consent and scenes of abuse and violence against women, and of course there’s Avengers: Age Of Ultron. After having done a surprisingly decent job in the previous Avengers movie to make Black Widow more than just a female love interest or femme fatale, in a bizarre turn Whedon decided to undo all of that by having Black Widow sporadically fall in love with the Hulk (despite the two not sharing any kind of romantic chemistry in previous instalments) in a narrative that ultimately removed any kind of independence or free agency the character once had.

For a more in-depth look into the problematic elements of Joss Whedon’s writing, check out this article from The Mary Sue entitled ‘Reconsidering the Feminism of Joss Whedon’. It’s a very good read :)

While Joss Whedon can produce some good work, his attitude regarding his female characters is questionable at best. Like I said, I believe that he believes he’s a feminist. The problem is his brand of feminism seems to be permanently stuck in the 90s. His stubborn refusal to accept fault and move with the times has drawn a lot of criticism, which becomes more and more vocal with every passing year. Just to be clear, those sexist elements have always been present in his writing. The only thing that’s changed is social attitudes. In the past, people were willing to overlook the problems with Buffy because it was rare to see a show with a kickass female lead back then. Nowadays people aren’t quite so willing to compromise anymore. There’s a demand for fully realised, three dimensional female leads that are treated with the same care and respect as the male protagonists. This is why Jessica Jones and Agent Carter were so heavily praised, why the upcoming Wonder Woman movie is being so heavily scrutinised, why people are so desperate to see a Black Widow movie and why everybody throws a hissy fit every time Marvel find yet another excuse to delay the Captain Marvel movie (seriously, who gives a fuck about an Ant-Man sequel?! I think we’ll survive without one). People want female characters and they want them done right.

So, considering the sexist elements that seem to keep reoccurring in Whedon’s writing, I think him helming a Batgirl movie is a downright terrible idea. Especially considering all the baggage and controversy that has surrounded the character for decades now. What’s this Batgirl movie going to entail? From The Killing Joke movie to The Lego Batman Movie, there seems to be a disturbing trend of romantically pairing up Batgirl with Batman (in the case of The Killing Joke in particular, to the detriment of her character. So Barbara Gordon didn’t become Batgirl because of her altruism or her desire to emulate her idol. It’s so she could have sex with Batman. Bite me). Look me in the eyes and tell me Joss Whedon wouldn’t follow that trend too (and in case you didn’t catch that, NOBODY wants to see Batman/Batgirl rumpy-pumpy. It’s never been canon and it’s fucking creepy. Stop it.). And then there’s the whole paralysis storyline. Can we trust Joss Whedon to treat that with respect? It’s not as if the comics did. The whole Oracle thing wasn’t exactly ideal. It was merely damage control after DC treated the character in such a disrespectful way in The Killing Joke (I believe the editor’s exact words were ‘Yeah, okay. Cripple the bitch.’). A strong female character reduced to a woman in a refrigerator for Batman, the male protagonist. Gee, doesn’t that sound familiar?

So why are WB and DC even considering Joss Whedon in the first place? I don’t know, but I can hazard a guess...

Yep. The almighty dollar.

I’ve already criticised the DCEU for shifting away from its original creator-controlled vision in favour of a more Marvel style business model, where you just churn out a bunch of films on an assembly line and see what sticks (in fact I’d go as far to say that DC’s current business model is actually worse than Marvel’s. Credit where it’s due, at least Marvel wait for the first movie to come out before announcing its ten trillion sequels and spin-offs), and it looks like Joss Whedon’s potential appointment could represent the final stage in the DCEU’s Marvel-fication. Its Marvel-lisation. Its Marvel-morphosis. (I’ve got pages of these. I could go on). Let’s not forget that Joss Whedon was originally supposed to write and direct the Wonder Woman movie before that fell through. Why the change of heart? 

Well the fact that he made a boatload of money for Marvel with his Avengers movies might have something to do with it. And that’s the problem. Whedon is being considered for Batgirl for the same reasons why Mel Gibson is/was(?) being considered for Suicide Squad 2 and why David Ayer has been chosen to direct a Gotham City Sirens movie. Despite Mel Gibson’s less than desirable personality traits, WB and DC have sensed a changing tide of opinion and decided to try and take advantage of it. And with David Ayer it’s because he’s already made them a shit-ton of money with Suicide Squad and reckon he can do it again, even though David Ayer is so obviously the wrong person to direct a Gotham City Sirens movie considering one of the many criticisms that people had with Suicide Squad is how abhorrently sexist it is. Whether Joss Whedon is right or wrong for the material he’s adapting doesn’t factor into it. At this point, it couldn’t be any clearer to me that any artistic integrity WB and DC once had has officially been chucked away in favour of box office earnings. Welcome to the MCU Mark II everyone!

You know it’s kind of ironic me talking about Joss Whedon and David Ayer, what with Wonder Woman coming out in a couple of months. Considering what a feminist icon Wonder Woman is, it’s funny that WB and DC don’t seem to be embracing the concept. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying men can’t write and direct female led movies. But considering how difficult it is for women to break into this industry, it would be nice if DC could at least consider them. Wonder Woman could and should be ushering in a new era for both superhero movies and women in film, both in front and behind the camera. But what with the potential appointment of Joss Whedon and the reappointment of David Ayer, it seems Wonder Woman is tragically just going to be a temporary blip.

#anti joss whedon #batgirl #dc extended universe #quill's scribbles