ace-theatre-ghosts
Ace Ghost
Just your friendly neighborhood queer.
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All the poly fish in the sea and I fell in love with one who lets their other partner veto every relationship they attempt to have...
And now I have trust issues. Trauma. And baggage.
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You can leave if you want. I'll remember you though. I remember everyone that leaves.
Lilo
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You're a taker. And selfish. You wrought destruction and you pay no mind to the trauma you leave behind. I'm a human being with feelings, feelings I opened to you. You chewed me up and spit me out thinking you can leave me under the table for later. But you are done taking from me. My time and energy and love. There are those more deserving of it, myself most of all. I am worth so much more than to be thrown out like a disposable side chick for when times are tough for you.
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I hope the utter destruction you've done to my heart was worth it.
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When I stopped holding your hand, I should have never held it again.
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I've been waiting over 2 decades for age to stop being an excuse.
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Goodbye to Theatre
I felt like I was constantly fighting for boundaries, to protect my last wall. I was fighting communication and the lack there of, fighting for clarity. Work unfortunately brought me more anxiety than not. I understand that out industry is the way it is. I have been doing this since I was 14 no needs to explain to me how much time we put into show, how much we sacrifices of our own lives we make, the risks we take. But since I was 14 I have been waiting for someone to tell me why. Why do we choose this lifestyle? The answer being because we love theatre yes I know but I mean why? Why this lifestyle as in why is this lifestyle? Why do we choose to be at work more than being with our family? Why do we choose a lack of compensation and benefits? Why must there be 6 days to this industry’s work week? I wonder because I know it can be done with balance.
#theatre#i am autistic#regional theatre#summer stock#theatre tech#goodbye#social change#work#compensation#overworked#work life#work life balance#why did we choose this
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Waiting for the world to stop expecting me to catch up and instead slow down for me.
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That feeling that something could happen to me and I'll be all alone no matter how badly I need help really scares me.
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This time you will have to be the one to save your feelings for a rainy day.
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Why did I let this go on for so long. You never read my words to try to understand. You never actually opened your ears to know me. It was just a game. We sure were cute together. But the people don't see how much weight you put on me. My back has broken and I can't carry it anymore. Why wouldn't you help me carry that weight?
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It feels like I was slapped in the face the way you lied to me. The way you have taken me for granted.
I can no longer be the one fixing this. It's your turn. Or it's over.
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Everyday I ask myself if this would be happening to me if I were neurotypical. Which sucks... by the way.
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I know so many men who blow their top at others. I don't really care how little often it happens. You never have to right to put me or my people on the recieving end of that blow.
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They say you dont always want to meet your hero.
Well my hero in the last 3 years has been this giant company that saved my industry. And I moved my very comfortable life to work here... and it's like meeting your hero and I am disappointed in my hero for being blind. Of all the incredible things you do why can't one of them be for the people who make this company great?
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Can you not hear and see your employees suffering? There aren't enough shifts to go around for regular hours, let alone the overtime they rely on to barely scrape by. Do you not see the endless loans and the countless jobs they work to keep up here? What were your calculations based on when you thought this wage would be enough. We never go home. We can never see our families and friends, we cannot afford the day off and therefore what good are the benefits you offer when we don't have the time to take advantage of them? If you offered to trade these benefits for money I guarantee most will want the money just to take a day or 2 off.
We cannot keep up don't you see?
We look up to you to lead the way in progress towards a better future but we cannot keep up with rent and bills. It's disappointing. Be better. No more excuses. Be better.
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