ahiddenpath

[ahiddenpath]

Spoons

One of my closest friends is far wiser than me, but I am wise enough to know when I should listen, even when what she tells me is difficult to hear. Especially when it's difficult to hear, maybe.

I'm going to share what she told me today with you, if you're interested.

I'm burnt out. Mega ultra super duper burnt out. I told my friend that I spent today, Saturday, one of my few and precious days off, in a haze of nothingness. I slept for 9.5 hr last night and somehow woke up, drank a coffee, and went back to sleep for another 1.5 hr?!?!?! I proceeded to do some light cleaning, followed by dicking around on the internet (aka nothing). At some point, realizing that this is depressive behavior, I contacted my friend for advice and explained what was going on.

We talked about burn out. I have diagnosed anxiety, and the same friend (who is autistic) has gently broached to me that I am also likely autistic. I have not been tested yet- there's part of me that is loathe to admit having another thing going on (I joked to my friend that I'm out of condition/status slots, but I don't think she was impressed, lmao!). So far, I'm trying not to worry about the possible autism, but instead put my energy towards managing my stimulation issues. My stimulation threshold is very low, and I especially struggle with audio stimulation, to the point where I can lose the ability to interpret sound under some conditions (I hear it just fine, but I can't process it). I've been carrying my loop earplugs everywhere.

(By the way, the earplugs are lowkey lifechanging and I'm highkey mad about it. The anxiety wasn't enough?!?!! I've got other shit going on?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE BEEN MANAGING WHATEVER THE HELL AUDIO CONDITION I HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE WITH A PAIR OF EARPLUGS!?!?!?! God damn it! Etc, etc.)

So, I was talking about how stressful my biotech job is, but also pointing out that I do work a 40 hour week. Lots of people work a lot more than that. I should be managing. Right? My friend said, "Darling, everyone has a certain number of spoons. You have anxiety and possibly autism. That means you are minus spoons compared to someone without those, and there are people with fewer spoons than you, too. Now. Walk me through how you felt when your coworker assigned you work and asked for updates on that work before you even received the proteins to work on."

So, I told her how I felt. Panicked. How can I do the work without the proteins to work on? Angry! HOW CAN I DO THE WORK WITHOUT THE PROTEINS TO WORK ON! Stress, stress, stress. And you know what my friend said?

"I guarantee you that most of your colleagues would roll their eyes, give a cursory email response, and calmly go about their work day. You spent too many spoons on your panic, when you're already using a lot of spoons to do the work. And now, you're trying to spend MORE of your limited spoons fretting that you're less than for having fewer spoons than a neurotypical person/a person without mood disorders. The work itself only costs so many spoons. It's your reactions that cost more, and lead you to burnout."

Thanks, friend. Great talk. Love you, too.

Except that I actually do hear her and love her, and appreciate the hell out of her for telling me this. She moved the conversation along after this, probably because she hates doing therapy for people, and I know I got this much because she loves me so much. And also, she probably needs her spoons for other shit. She's got autism, man. It's not easy.

So anyway, I'm going to try to accept that I only have so many spoons, and also that I can't afford to waste them on feeling less than, and on my coworker's shenanigans. I'll try my best, but. It sure isn't easy, is it?

I would like to purchase some spoons, please, lmao!!!

#hidden's life #spoon theory

[ahiddenpath]

Two new isolated BGM tracks, both from episode 26, "Sora's Crest of Love". The first one was requested on YouTube, and I'm really pleased with how it came out. The second is really short and kind of messy, and if anyone knows where I can find a longer version in the show, I'd be super grateful!

You can check out my Digimon English Dub BGM channel here.

#digimon #digimon music #these are too cool!

[ahiddenpath]

So I ran into your thoughts on the Beginning, and as far as the timeline goes, I think Lui (like Menoa) is wrong. The JP Chosen are clearly different from the World chosen. Only they are summoned to the Digiworld. I think Lui's wish via homeostasis just made it so that non-Chosen children would get Digivices to be able to maintain partnerships, and they were modeled after the original digivice, and began popping up after Adventure. But when new chosen were needed in 02, they got new digivices.

That's an interesting idea! Apologies, I wish I could be more helpful, but I only saw The Beginning once, and I spent most of it reeling and not taking much in (I didn't respond well to certain plot elements).

I personally find it difficult to make conclusions about "our Japanese Chosen (Taichi and Daisuke's groups) vs the rest of the Chosen around the world," because to my knowledge, we don't receive a lot of details about the global Chosen and what they can and cannot do.

We know Michael Barton and Betamon can go to the Digital World, so I do think all global Chosen can travel to the DW. But does that mean that all global Chosen were selected by Homeostasis? Or are they a second category generated by Lui's wish in The Beginning, and they have partners, can presumably evolve them to some extent, and can travel to the DW, but were not hand selected warriors of the DW? But I really doubt The Beginning's plot beats and lore existed when Adventure and 02 were being written and created, so at best, this is back-filling information. A lot depends on how each viewer feels about adding the information of the new films into their understanding of the old content, or if viewers prefer to let the old content stand alone and treat the new content as fun extras that don't really impact their feelings/understanding of the old content.

I personally haven't assigned much weight to Kizuna or The Beginning for lore, simply because it feels like they wrote around existing lore to make these plots work with existing information. In my mind, that is why both plots hinge on Menoa and Lui being "wrong" about various Lore Important Issues, while details from the original series point us to what most fans see as the "correct" interpretation, with a little bit of subtext from the new films.

I'm not saying that this is bad or wrong, or that people are incorrect for folding the new content into existing lore. In fact, I think a lot of anime movies especially rely on similar write-around methods! Basically, I just think a lot is going to come down to personal preference with what to accept and what to ignore, especially because it's just a LOT of content at this point (two 50+ episode animes, the handful of Digimon movies released in the 2000s ish, Tri, Kizuna, The Beginning, various drama CDs and novels, etc).

This does make me realize that I could really stand a rewatch of the World Tour and the ending of 02. Makes sense that there could be relevant info about the global Chosen there! And I believe the ending of 02 is where we get our most direct (aka non subtext) lore about what makes the Chosen/partner bond work.

Thanks for the ask, your ideas are very interesting and I enjoy hearing them!

#digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #spoilers #02tb spoilers

[ahiddenpath]

happy anniversary to a game that feels like home 🌸🏵☀️

#okami #this is awesome! #amazing job!

[ahiddenpath]

Palmon, shinka... TOGEMON!!!

#togemon #this is great!!!

[ahiddenpath]

Fic Update: Infinite Possibilities, Chapter 2

I updated my digimon fanfic, Infinite Possibilities! In chapter 2, Koushiro and Tentomon meet with Yamato, Gabumon, Hiroaki, Eimi, and a National Data Processing Bureau agent to plan a raid to rescue the digimon subjected to experimentation in the lab where Eimi works. There is a lot at stake, but everyone is in agreement that the digimon must be saved!

Give it a read on AO3 or FFN, and please let me know what you think!

Cover art above commissioned from kbondoxxxxav

#digimon #digimon adventure #koushiro izumi #yamato ishida #eimi anami #digific #digimon fanfic #digimon fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #infinite possibilities #tentomon

[ahiddenpath]

Digital Hearts [compilation ver]

Attempted to sketch the Digidestined in the style of Kingdom Hearts..

#another old classic #chosen children #digidestined

[ahiddenpath]

I went to con on 17 Mar ! I live in Thailand and this is my table

I'm submitting products (prints and acrylic charms/stands) on my Etsy, I stopped selling prints on Inprnt because of reasons about receiving money T_T the price may be different from selling in my country because I included fee on the website and fee miscellaneous.

Sorry for the inconvenience, Pls support me on Etsy after this Thank you a lot!

⭣ below are prints and new chibi standee that I ordered from suppliers. I may finish listing all prints and standees at the end of the month.

#digimon artists

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gomamon.........

#gomamon #lol!

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#kazuma kiryu #kiryu kazuma #hello sir #respectfully admiring the legend

[ahiddenpath]

It’s okay to feel like you aren’t anywhere where you want to be in life right now, because just like how it takes time for a flower to grow, we also need time and patience to grow.

The more we take care of own mental and physical health, the more it will help us grow and blossom into beautiful flowers of our own.

You will get to where you need to be, just be patient and take your time, you’re still growing, my beautiful flower. 💕

Palmon character is from Digimon.

Art done by me.

#palmon

[ahiddenpath]

Writing News

You might have noticed that I launched a new fic recently called Infinite Possibilities! I think it's really interesting, and not the sort of fic I see often. It's (what I hope is) a realistic look at the difficulties of digimon living on earth as more people find their digimon partners and have access to the Digital World via their digivices, from several perspectives (Chosen, partner digimon, non-Chosen, non-partner digimon, the Bureau, Yggdrasil, Homeostatis, etc). The setting is canon in the Adventure world, but of course my thoughts on the topic are speculative/head canon. The fic opens before the events of Kizuna, so most of the Chosen are college age.

That's the big thing, but I have a lot more details and thoughts about the future of my fics beneath the cut.

I've been talking lately about being unsure of sharing my work, due to various threats (AI, stolen content, book binding of fanworks, etc) accompanied by a general decrease in engagement across social media in general, and especially in old fandoms like digimon specifically.

I still feel that way, frankly. But I have also noticed that if I don't share my fandom work, I tweak it forever. I can only grow as writer if I practice producing finished works; fussily editing a few chapters indefinitely won't teach me a damned thing.

So, I will be sharing Infinite Possibilities, and probably trying to complete my other open fics, too. There may be some changes, though. For example, I will not be drawing art routinely for IP (it may happen sometimes if I get the urge, but it won't be a chapter expectation). I will also shift to using screen grabs from Tri to promote Tri: Integrity Lens when I post for that, and only drawing if I really want to, rather than using the art as a mandatory promotional tool.

Future fics

Currently, my plan is to not launch any more longfics. I can't say at this time if that means forever or until I complete one or two longfics. It will likely take me a few years to knock out my open longfics, so it's better not to speculate that far out.

I may, however, launch the occasional oneshot or short fic. I actually have a short fic (about 3-5 chapters) in the works right now. It's an explicit sex story, and it's a bit chaotic. It explores various sexualities and lifestyles in a safe, accepting, patient environment. I'd have to say that it's... definitely the most, just, blatantly sexy thing I've written.

Here is the status of my current open fics and my plans for them:

Puits d'Amour

I've been struggling for months with the next art for Puits d'Amour, and I don't want art struggles to hold me back from completing my writing. I will eventually share the next chapter of PdA, and the half chapter that exists after that (I am unsure if I will add more to it or just post a shorter chapter). After that, there is no more existing content, so there will be a pause as I figure out my next steps.

Tri: Integrity Lens

I am going to cut down on artwork and utilize more screenshots. There are currently about three chapters written that could be published without too much intensive effort, so I imagine you will see these after I post the remaining PdA chapters. They're quite good/exciting/interesting, too!

After those are shared, I will need to sit down and figure out what gets worked on next.

Four Years

There is no material waiting in the wings for this one. I still need to sit down and plan how I will handle the rest of the story. I would also like to get back into editing the old chapters, and hopefully book binding the edited version.

I've never done art for this fic, and it's going to stay that way, with wiggle room for an occasional "I must draw this!".

Infinite Possibilities

Currently has about 10 written chapters waiting, but I do need to add in scenes, so they aren't "ready to go." Most upcoming updates will be for this fic until I get through the existing material. I will be using the commissioned cover art when I announce new chapters, so art won't slow me down, although I may draw on occasion if I really want to show you something.

Practice

This is the current title for my sexy fic, but I am hoping to come up with something better. I could start sharing it soon, but I'd like to finish the whole piece and use that to cover about two months' worth of updates, while I work on other fics. No art for this one, except maybe a cover piece.

#digimon #digific #digimon fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #digimon adventure #digimon fanfic

[ahiddenpath]

Mimi

The older kids are finally complete!!! I'll now move on to the 02 group + 1, eventually. The kimono is inspired by the Heian period like Kou. I'll be combining the kids all together in one post to make them easier to look at as well.

#mimi tachikawa #what a cute outfit!

[ahiddenpath]

I’m too lazy to tag all the characters. It’s kind of a re-upload anyways. Although i made some tiny changes. (If you can guess which without looking it up, you’re are really crazy and i love you.) °V°

Mostly for the Anon who pointed out that i saved Matt’s portrait in the wrong resolution. Also a little for myself. Bc i’m proud that i actually finished a series and i wanted to see what it looks like in a single post.

#chosen children #this is the weapons art from years ago I've mentioned and been looking for

[ahiddenpath]

New Fanfic Launch!!!!

Infinite Possibilities

AO3/FFN

Gorgeous cover art above commissioned from @kbondoxxxxav! Check out their comm details here! (Apologies for the infamous Tumblr resizing shenanigans).

Here is the summary of my new fic :D

Infinite Possibilities will have three phases.  The first stars Eimi, the second stars Koushiro, and the third stars Hikari.  I commissioned the cover to look like a character select menu; each phase will have its own cover art with the lead front and center.

This story explores the realities, issues, and politics of digimon existing on earth, a concept I’ve been obsessed with for years.  It opens about a year and some change before Kizuna, and the events of that film will be covered, too- not so much the film itself as what comes after.

There are couples in this fic, but it isn’t a romance.  The one worth mentioning is Izumi Koushiro x Anami Eimi, as we do see them get closer and date, although that’s never the point or focus of the story.  There might be passing mentions of the two canon couples (Yamato x Sora and Ken x Miyako), and of other Chosen going on nonspecified dates, etc.

I’ve been planning this fic since 2020, and I think it’s ambitious and jam packed with interesting ideas!  How the world looks when digimon and humans come together is so interesting to me, and I’m so happy to share my ideas with you.  Thanks for being here!

Love, Hidden

I've been so hyped to share this fic since I first thought of it in 2020, after watching Kizuna. Here's a link to the bits I've shared about it, if you're interested.

Thank you all so much <3 I hope you enjoy it!

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon kizuna #koushiro izumi #hikari yagami #eimi anami #infinite possibilities #digimon fanfiction #fanfic #fic #fanfiction #digific #faves

[ahiddenpath]

Pin for survivors

#boop #boop 2024

[ahiddenpath]

Boop 2024

Thanks so much for all the boops, and for accepting my boops! Honestly, the boops were the kind of thing that gets overwhelming for me, but even I enjoyed and appreciated it! And the energy everyone had, and how obvious the sense of fun was!!!! Wonderful!!!! What a treat, wow. I really needed dem boops. Thank you <3

It really makes me think about what social media is meant to be- a low-stakes, easy, fun way to interact. And that is not what Tumblr feels like these days (and that is not a hit at anyone, this is, like, a high level and generalized observation). I'm not a social media expert, a psychologist, or anything like that, but I think...

There has to be ways to bring that kind of silly, fun, social energy to... Well, to social media. Like, on the reg.

Anyway, thanks again! Boop! <3

#tumblr #boop #boop 2024