alishawtyy

[alishawtyy]

God seriously the way i keep my nails say a lot about my mental health.

[alishawtyy]

Y'all my 17 year old self is at peace now. My 18 year old self did it.

My 11 year old self would be proud that i can speak my mind now

My 12 year old self would be satisfied knowing i can now be alone without feeling lonely

My 13 year old self would smile at the fact that I'm no longer a worrisome

My 14 year old self would just be comforted knowing i continued living

My 15 year old self would be relieved to know that 'self-harm' is just a pair of words to me now

My 16 year old self would be grateful to know that everything gets better

And i hope that in future i can look back at my 17 year old self that will be at peace knowing that I'm longer afraid of change.

[alishawtyy]

Reblog if it's okay to invade your ask box.

Always

[alishawtyy]

I'm such a low maintenance child, I literally demand for nothing. If anything, my mumma should be proud of me.

[alishawtyy]

It does 🥺💓

[alishawtyy]

it's the "come here" with the waist grab for me <3

[alishawtyy]

For the update my 18 year old self is still working on my 17 year old self.

My 11 year old self would be proud that i can speak my mind now

My 12 year old self would be satisfied knowing i can now be alone without feeling lonely

My 13 year old self would smile at the fact that I'm no longer a worrisome

My 14 year old self would just be comforted knowing i continued living

My 15 year old self would be relieved to know that 'self-harm' is just a pair of words to me now

My 16 year old self would be grateful to know that everything gets better

And i hope that in future i can look back at my 17 year old self that will be at peace knowing that I'm longer afraid of change.

[alishawtyy]

She's a 10 but she doesn't wants to heal from things she didn't deserve

she’s a 10 but she’s healing from things she didn’t deserve 🤍

[alishawtyy]

A year ago i thought that my biggest achievement of 2021 is that I've learned to let go of grudges. Today here i am realizing no, it wasn't an achievement. People who did you wrong deserved to be hated. They deserve to be seen with the eyes of hatred by you. Your heart deserve to feel agressively heavy when you see them. They deserve all that hate for what they have done.

[alishawtyy]

And how much does it kills you on the inside when they tell you that you did GREAT but they expected more?

#i swear it kills me #i cry about it #i push myself so much and it's never fucking enough #i wanna scream #why can't i die temporarily ? #maybe I'm really not enough #I'm sad and i hate myself but i need to get good grades

[alishawtyy]

💗🦋💗🦋💗🦋💗🦋💗🦋

"i just wanted to hear your voice" >>>

[alishawtyy]

No listen to me why is it better to not be avg when you have anxiety. Because if you're avg people expect you to perform better, they expect you to improve and when you fail to do so they are disappointed and it's all your fault that you haven't fulfilled their expectations and you feel like crying and throwing up and you want to die basically you feel like doing everything than to actually practice and improve.

#rant #why do people expect #i'm a failure #I am a liability and i cannot do anything about it #anxitey #anxiety sucks #i wanna be weightless

[alishawtyy]

I swear I'll breakdown to this.

This is exactly what i mean when i say "yeah abroad is cool lekin india ki baat he alag hai janab"

my friends are going out abroad for college, to live their lives the european/american way and sometimes i want to go too, but, no. i want to live my life like my grandmother did, i want to wear suits and saarees and jhumkas and bindis only to go out on a crowded street to have samosas. i want to go to gurudwaras, mandirs, masjids, churches. i want to be able to speak my first language without hesitation and i want to be able to listen to baaraats on roads and jagratas at 4 am. i want to be woken up by the cry of the kabaadi wala in the morning. i dont want to go to the grocery store, instead want the sabji vala to come with his thela. i want to be able to go to purani dilli just so i can admire the old houses and jama masjid and laal qila. i want to visit monuments so that i can marvel at the architecture which was made so long ago but feels so familiar. i want to have chai at the tapri. i want to travel in rickshaws and dance at bollywood bangers playing on loudspeakers. i want to fall in love with a boy in a kurta. i want him to fall in love with me while i sway my georgette dupatta. i want to talk to all the dada jis reading newspapers in the morning. i want to spread achaar on my terrace. i want to do all of that. i want to live life the indian way. because that's where home is.

[alishawtyy]

When i say that i cannot make a long distance relationship work and i do need physical presence, this is what i mean

The smell of her hair, the taste of her mouth, the feeling of her skin seemed to have got inside him, or into the air all round him. She had become a physical necessity.

- George Orwell

[alishawtyy]

can confirm

that silencing a girl with a kiss don’t work on brown girls

[alishawtyy]

“you smell good“ ok fuck me

[alishawtyy]

My 11 year old self would be proud that i can speak my mind now

My 12 year old self would be satisfied knowing i can now be alone without feeling lonely

My 13 year old self would smile at the fact that I'm no longer a worrisome

My 14 year old self would just be comforted knowing i continued living

My 15 year old self would be relieved to know that 'self-harm' is just a pair of words to me now

My 16 year old self would be grateful to know that everything gets better

And i hope that in future i can look back at my 17 year old self that will be at peace knowing that I'm longer afraid of change.

#mentalstrength #your younger you would be proud of you #teenage years #note to self #self healing #self helf