applewillowstone

[applewillowstone]

Hi guys, I’m moving accounts (just on tumblr, twt staying the same) to @applewillows & side blog @trissallurings (new side blog so it’s not working for me- added an s to the new sideblog). Nothing being deleted or moved it will stay here just as a dead account. (You can block or follow me)

TW: Suicidal Ideation, mental health update, what happening with me currently, anxiety, eating/food, hospital photo, (this is what is below read more so please, if your mental health isn’t as great atm don’t read).

I plan to get better, I will continue to make fics as making fics and playing video games make me happy and I don’t think anything else does anymore. I’m backing out of events and other stuff as mentally I’m not okay (saying it here very tame summarized for those that don’t wish to read the tw under more, I understand). I plan to get more help and come back. 🩷 I might put things in queue on my new tumblr or reblog stuff on twt absentmindedly- I do not know, it’s all up in the air I have no solid plan other than to get help.

Hello, my name is here Apple but my name is Shelby. I been going through a lot recently and lately it’s been far too much for me. I really don’t know what to say or do but everything have been bad thoughts for me. On April 19th I checked myself into a hospital for suicidal ideation, I figured that was the best way to get myself help. Because I went in on my own and not a police escort I was able to leave the hospital after labs work when I wanted to. The planned was with the nurse I talked there (very kind of them, if they ever read this I hope they know their words meant a lot to me). Was to contact the back of my insurance card to call so I can get therapy/counseling and psychiatrist. The issue was I decided to leave the regular hospital ER late on Friday, I went in thinking I was going to be transferred but I was allowed to leave to my surprise. That was my assumption and what I told some people. (And during the hospital I gave my partner my phone after updating some people) And this because it was the lovely weekend everything but the ER was close, this going home for the weekend have been pure hell for me. I made a foolish mistake asking them to not make me stay at the hospital.

Instead I was let out late into Friday and back home to swallow myself into a big hole and I’m honestly not going great. I’m thankful for immediate family/my partner that kept a 24hrs watch on me, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, maybe hospitalization or no place good.

I decided to come online and check social medias today (across all socials on my pc and now I was given back my phone and I’m just spiraling) and I don’t know what’s happening at all, I’m stumbling in the dark and where I’m at mentally I think my panic and anxiety is going to cause my to stay up so the moment Monday rolls around the right time I can call for more available help (since I’m being under watchful eye atm, I begged them to let me make this post and choices to back away from events/servers & cancel some events- please don’t punish my family/partner for any decisions about giving my phone back to me, I begged). I had my partner took my phone over the weekend and my parents child lock my phone (to the best of their abilities).

I’m sorry this is haphazard and all over the place because that’s what I’m currently am. I’m really fucking waiting for Monday, I want help. I haven’t ate nor drink a lot since I think.. Thursday? Wednesday? I do not remember I’m sorry. So I hope I can get appointments, I can get in to be seen as soon as possible for both the therapist and psychiatrist, if it fails then I promise to go back to the hospital and that’s all I can really do.

I don’t ever wish anything bad on anyone and I can stay right now the feelings I had over the past couple of days leading to a week now (that I have never experienced ever before in my life) I would never wish on anyone. It is truly awful.

My best advice to anyone is what when you think it’s all over and you might end it all and that panic overwhelms you- sometimes it’s worth calling people on the phone because you never know who will answer and talk you out of things.

#personal #not using the blog anymore as I have moved #IN QUEUE ONLY #last one on this blog

[applewillowstone]

Hi guys, I’m moving accounts (just on tumblr, twt staying the same) to @applewillows & side blog @trissallurings (new side blog so it’s not working for me- added an s to the new sideblog). Nothing being deleted or moved it will stay here just as a dead account. (You can block or follow me)

TW: Suicidal Ideation, mental health update, what happening with me currently, anxiety, eating/food, hospital photo, (this is what is below read more so please, if your mental health isn’t as great atm don’t read).

I plan to get better, I will continue to make fics as making fics and playing video games make me happy and I don’t think anything else does anymore. I’m backing out of events and other stuff as mentally I’m not okay (saying it here very tame summarized for those that don’t wish to read the tw under more, I understand). I plan to get more help and come back. 🩷 I might put things in queue on my new tumblr or reblog stuff on twt absentmindedly- I do not know, it’s all up in the air I have no solid plan other than to get help.

Hello, my name is here Apple but my name is Shelby. I been going through a lot recently and lately it’s been far too much for me. I really don’t know what to say or do but everything have been bad thoughts for me. On April 19th I checked myself into a hospital for suicidal ideation, I figured that was the best way to get myself help. Because I went in on my own and not a police escort I was able to leave the hospital after labs work when I wanted to. The planned was with the nurse I talked there (very kind of them, if they ever read this I hope they know their words meant a lot to me). Was to contact the back of my insurance card to call so I can get therapy/counseling and psychiatrist. The issue was I decided to leave the regular hospital ER late on Friday, I went in thinking I was going to be transferred but I was allowed to leave to my surprise. That was my assumption and what I told some people. (And during the hospital I gave my partner my phone after updating some people) And this because it was the lovely weekend everything but the ER was close, this going home for the weekend have been pure hell for me. I made a foolish mistake asking them to not make me stay at the hospital.

Instead I was let out late into Friday and back home to swallow myself into a big hole and I’m honestly not going great. I’m thankful for immediate family/my partner that kept a 24hrs watch on me, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, maybe hospitalization or no place good.

I decided to come online and check social medias today (across all socials on my pc and now I was given back my phone and I’m just spiraling) and I don’t know what’s happening at all, I’m stumbling in the dark and where I’m at mentally I think my panic and anxiety is going to cause my to stay up so the moment Monday rolls around the right time I can call for more available help (since I’m being under watchful eye atm, I begged them to let me make this post and choices to back away from events/servers & cancel some events- please don’t punish my family/partner for any decisions about giving my phone back to me, I begged). I had my partner took my phone over the weekend and my parents child lock my phone (to the best of their abilities).

I’m sorry this is haphazard and all over the place because that’s what I’m currently am. I’m really fucking waiting for Monday, I want help. I haven’t ate nor drink a lot since I think.. Thursday? Wednesday? I do not remember I’m sorry. So I hope I can get appointments, I can get in to be seen as soon as possible for both the therapist and psychiatrist, if it fails then I promise to go back to the hospital and that’s all I can really do.

I don’t ever wish anything bad on anyone and I can stay right now the feelings I had over the past couple of days leading to a week now (that I have never experienced ever before in my life) I would never wish on anyone. It is truly awful.

My best advice to anyone is what when you think it’s all over and you might end it all and that panic overwhelms you- sometimes it’s worth calling people on the phone because you never know who will answer and talk you out of things.

#personal #please read the tw

[applewillowstone]

STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES season one | episode twenty-five; the devil in the dark Mister Spock, you are second in command. This will be a dangerous hunt. Either one of us by himself is expendable. Both of us are not. Captain, there are approximately one hundred of us engaged in this search, against one creature. The odds against you and I both being killed are 2,228.7 to 1. 2,228.7 to 1? Those are pretty good odds, Mister Spock. And they are of course accurate, Captain. Of course. Well, I hate to use the word, but logically, with those kind of odds, you might as well stay.

#Apple queue #spirk

[applewillowstone]

The question that keeps Steve awake all night

#Harringrove #apple queue

[applewillowstone]

Even after you ruined me for any other,

I cannot regret you. Even as I cleave  

the flesh of wanting from the bone,

I hope the night sky is pretty 

wherever you are. 

So I watched Stranger Things…

I’m happy about some things and really unhappy about the others.

#Harringrove #apple queue

[applewillowstone]

Walton Goggins as The Ghoul/Cooper Howard in Fallout (2024-)

#fallout #the show is so good #fallout 2024

[applewillowstone]

preppy pink sweater vs black silk shirt

#harringrove #screaming

[applewillowstone]

"AO3 doesn't need a "dislike" button"

Um, actually, it already has one. Depending on your specs, it might look a little different but over all it looks kinda like this:

You can find it at the corner of your screen, which corner is dependent on your layout.

Anyway, if you dislike a fic, you can hit this Dislike Button until the fic goes away. It really is pretty amazing actually.

[applewillowstone]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! You're supposed to paste it in the asks of people you adore! absolutely no pressure, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside & out, 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜.💖💝💗

HI ANON I WISH I KNEW WHO YOU WERE SO I CAN THROW IT BACK AT YOU 😭🩷

#sobs #who is adoring me #HELLO 😭🩷

[applewillowstone]

lazy portraits from my sketchbook

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove

[applewillowstone]

Made a dead dove sideblog: ONLY FOLLOW- if you like dead dove content- if not then free block button for that account 😂 @trissalluring

[applewillowstone]

walked in and dream came trued it for you; soft skin and I perfumed it for you.

#stranger things #stranger things moodboard #wheelingham #pompompistol #nancy wheeler #chrissy cunningham

[applewillowstone]

Ahoy Creators!

We are so proud to announce that the Steve Harrington Big Bang will officially start in 2025!

Sign Ups Open -- January 01, 2025

Sign Ups Close -- March 21, 2025

Submissions Due -- April 04, 2025

Fic Claims -- April 19, 2025

Check-In #1 -- May 25, 2025

Beta Claims -- June 07, 2025

Posting Claims -- June 21, 2025

Check-In #2 -- July 06, 2025

Posting Starts -- August 03, 2025

Posting Ends -- September 13, 2025

You can sign up for our mailing list here. Anyone on this list will be emailed in December and January about the event starting! If you previously signed up, you will still be on the list!

We can't wait to set sail on this ocean of creativity with you!

Signing off,

Your Captains, the SHBB Mods

[applewillowstone]

😬✨️😭 for Mungrove please (I'm being brave and not asking on anon, also don't worry if you don't wanna do it, that's fine! Can you tell I'm nervous? I'm very nervous)

ASK FOR A BLURB:

😬- confessing their feelings

✨- friends with benefits

😭- unrequited love

— (nsfw-ish)

“You suck dick so good.” Eddie purred out.

Billy gave a sly smirk as he crawled from where he was under the blanket to lay on top of Eddie. “Don’t think you can find anyone better than me, Munson.”

He loved feeling when Eddie’s ring fingers would grip his lower back. Billy loved feeling the metal from the rings digging into his skin, making him feel grounded.

“I don’t think I can either, fuck… Hargrove.”

Billy gave a low hum of approval as he leaned forward to lick a long stride across Eddie’s face with a belly laugh seeing his reaction to it.

“Now I’m drenched.” Eddie complained.

Billy nipped playfully at the air. “You didn’t complain when your cock was that drenched.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and tried to push Billy off of him. Billy however, wanted this moment to last longer than to be thrown out of the bedroom just like every other night.

“Eddie.” Billy said sternly which he knew surprised the other who just stopped trying to push Billy off.

“Yeah?”

“Fuck.” Billy began but then halted, his fingers went to brush the hair out of Eddie’s face as he leaned forward to kiss him slow, deepening the kiss with a large sigh when he broke it off, resting his forehead against Eddie. “This is what I wanted.”

Eddie said nothing, he blinked a couple of times and stared up at Billy but he was silent.

“Edddddie?” Billy tried to cover up his worry by sing-song his name as he kissed Eddie’s bottom lip. “Hard to admit it too, huh?” He kissed his jawline but Eddie frowned which causes Billy to pull back.

“Billy.” Eddie spoke in a whisper, “this is just fun for me.”

Billy tried not to act hurt, he was fucking devastated but he couldn’t leave showing his ego and his heart were bruised. “Just fucking with you.” Billy deflected as he rolled off of Eddie on the bed, his eyes laser focused on the wall as he tried not to cry.

#sadness you get then because damn 😭 #Mungrove #Apple blurbs #ALSO HI DONT BE NERVOUS 💞

[applewillowstone]

4, 17, 30 💜💜

Fic Writer Ask Game:

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

- ohhhhhh prompts help out a lot when I see them in discord servers. Another thing that helps me out is when I RP stuff with RP partners, I’ll get ideas out of the ass like that. I also find a lot of inspo from horror movies 💞

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

- I try to do sprints! Even if you feel you aren’t doing much, anything can help to get out of that funk! I love to do sprints with other people on discord.

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

- I don’t mind sharing wips! I do that all the time but I’ll tend to forget to share or I’ll scream to the void about it with little to no fanfare 😂 so sometimes I just don’t share them.

#ask Apple #these are fun to answer Snsndndsnsn

[applewillowstone]

2, 7 & 14 for the fic writer ask game 🫶✨

Fic Writer Ask Game:

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

- oh god. I only plan if it’s for a big bang. Other than that it’s ’you get what you get’ when I write fics JEDNDNDNDN.

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

- ohhh that’s a great question. Honestly it depends on the ship/my mood. I do have my favorites, like for Harringrove I might opt for Steve or for Wheelgrove I’ll go for Nancy. However I can easily switch and do others POVs. I just definitely have my preferences.

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

- 😭 I definitely feel what the characters feels in emotional scenes. Especially if I write out a death scene, cue me crying while trying to finish a fic NWNSNSSN.

#most of it is: I just randomly go for it and rip whatever outcome it is #JWSNSNSNSSNSNSK #ask apple

[applewillowstone]

I got a lot of ask stuff to go through so NWNSSNSNSM- be patient with me 😂💞

#I have underestimated how many people like my blurbs apparently so NANSSNSNSN