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Yes I'm a simp

Im

Socially

Impaired and never

Mentally

Present

#funny #adhd #autism #neurodivergent #its imperfect but idrc #because im tired #and im a simp

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Just learned about garden path sentences.

They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you think you know where it’s going, but the way it ends completely changes the meaning while still being a complete and logical sentence. Usually it deals with double meanings, or with words that can be multiple parts of speech, like nouns and verbs or nouns and adjectives.

So we get gems like

The old man the boat. (The old people are manning the boat)

The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. (The apartment complex is home to both married and single soldiers, plus their families)

The prime number few. (People who are excellent are few in number.)

The cotton clothing is usually made of grows in Mississipi. (The cotton that clothing is made of)

The man who hunts ducks out on weekends. (As in he ducks out of his responsibilities)

We painted the wall with cracks. (The cracked wall is the one that was pained.)

#what the hell #this is sick #asf

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random au where sanji works at baratie and romance dawn trio visit for food sometimes, and zoro tries to flirt with him but it goes over sanji’s head so he sends flowers, that’s it

zoro: i gave him a romantic nickname and he still doesn’t know i’m flirting with him

sanji: WHY DOES THIS MOSS KEEP INSULTING ME

zoro in flower shop: wheat = bread, curly waiter likes making food, multi purpose, useful flowers

nami: …let’s add roses too

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the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.

#reblogging to make up for my SINS #ominous #anonymous #overdramatic autonomous hippopotamus 🦛

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loofe looking for beetles :3

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"can

a

unicorn...

give a beej? "

-Courtney Miller, 2023

#smosh games #courtney miller #i stan courtney beej

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#shadow wizard money gang #we love casting spells

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happy birthday to the only song

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Fr and when you try to be nice to everyone instead they never match the energy :((

Why is maintaining more than one friendship so hard 😭

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Oh my fucking fuck this is good

Instagram credit: co.nfused

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Shaking and crying rn because Android 13 won't let me copy "system" files, meaning my Minecraft worlds are permanently stuck on my phone i guess :))

#this is a day after i deleted #my favorite world by accident #pissed #google why #eat the rich 😍 #minecraft

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If the internet has taught me anything, it's that Jerma is caked up :)

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here’s ur friendly reminder to let urself eat literally whatever the fuck u want whenever u want. ESPECIALLY if there’s a lot of shit u can’t eat for various reasons; dietary restrictions, fatigue or pain preventing u from cooking.

anything is better than nothing.

junk food only? good for you!!!!

snacks/candy/whatever? i’m so fucking happy that u r getting something in ur body at least.

i would rather have us eat “unhealthy” than not eating anything.

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Like 99% of autistic media rep: I say whatever I want and don't care if people are hurt by it

Me and my other autistic friends: oh shit why did I say that??? Their foot steps sounds a bit off today, did I do something to annoy them? *doesnt want to inconvenience others* *apologizes even if we didn't do anything wrong*

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Allow me to remind you:

I have been afflicted with a moistness somewhat mild.

It is your duty, sir, to use the object. Use it for the purpose of caressing my labial opening. Thank you good sir.

#an utmost favorite poem of mine #the works of miniature frosted dessert #hold an enchantment over myself #for they touch the soul