borderlinebeauty

[borderlinebeauty]

Sometimes I feel like I look like an ugly dog 🙃

[borderlinebeauty]

Having someone trash you really does sum to your self esteem bruh. I just wanna die. But in the meantime imma just cry it out.

#bpd blog #actually bpd #borderline blog #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actuallymentallyill #black mental illness #bpd feels

[borderlinebeauty]

“True love is usually the most inconvenient kind.”

— Kiera Cass

[borderlinebeauty]

“Never give up on someone with mental illness. When “I” is replaced by “we”, illness becomes wellness.”

— Shannon L. Alder

[borderlinebeauty]

“The best investment you’ll ever make is in yourself. Never stop exploring, learning, experiencing, and becoming a better person each day.”

— Mo Seetubtim

[borderlinebeauty]

some people you gotta handle with a pair of gloves. and recognize there’s nothing wrong with that. it’s for everyone’s sanity and wellbeing.

#bpd blog #actually bpd #borderline blog #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actuallymentallyill #black mental illness #bpd feels

[borderlinebeauty]

I know you all too fucking well and it’s crazy.

[borderlinebeauty]

I really did not ask to live. Like this is so unfair.

#bpd blog #actually bpd #borderline blog #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actuallymentallyill #black mental illness #bpd feels

[borderlinebeauty]

I’m still waking up so the words are escaping me at this very moment but I will be back!

[borderlinebeauty]

“I can tell you’re not yourself lately and I hope wherever you’ve gone, you feel free.”

— R.M. Drake

[borderlinebeauty]

Safe space not even safe lmaoo

[borderlinebeauty]

hmph.

[borderlinebeauty]

I am not sure if you will see this, but I'd like to asked what are your symptoms of BPD. My mom had it and so do so many people in my family have it, and I have been feeling like I have it to. I have my amazing days, and then like in a blink of an I, I hate everyone and everything around me. Breathing annoys me. People annoy me. I feel my own skin and I feel sick. I want to just crawl in a hole and then rot. Then, for some reason, I feel better again. I am super happy! Super motivated. I can do anything and everything like I am Superwoman or Barbie, then I go numb and can't feel a thing, and then I feel guilt because I hate the people I love, and then I am angry at myself for feeling this way when I know better, and then everything repeats over and over again.

Do you feel like this? My dad is not someone who takes mental health very seriously. He's the religious type, the "if you're indwelled by the Holy Spirit, and have a relationship with God, why are you unhappy" type. I just don't want to feel like this anymore, it's miserable. I go to a good school, have all of my needs and wants provided for; I am priveledged, which I acknowledge, which makes me feel invalid because like why am I unhappy when I have more than most.

If I can ask, how did you get help? Thank you lots!

Hi hun! I’m sorry it took me a minute to get to you. I’m not sure if what you described is BPD but I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. For me I have mood swings which change very quickly. I can be so so sad and wanting to die and laughing at a video like nothing happened maybe 2 hours later. I get infatuated with people very quickly and kinda make them my everything. Letting go of relationships is very hard from me. And I have a history of explosive anger. I also do some things impulsively I suppose lol oh and all or nothing/black or white thinking.

First thing I advocated for me to be tested. Which maybe it was a little premature but I think it fits. Then what really helped me was having an affirming therapist AND DBT. That really is what led to growth. And then medication helped a bunch. I stopped going to DBT prematurely for personal reasons but now I’m in Emotions Anonymous (EA) and that’s really helped me continue growing. And it’s free!

Really sorry your dad doesn’t take it serious. I know that’s a b*tch and I kinda experience it too. I hope things get better for you and you get the healing you deserve. Don’t give up.

[borderlinebeauty]

Bruh I was just so excited and now I wanna bawl my eyes out.

[borderlinebeauty]

[borderlinebeauty]

Honestly? Shoutout to those of you who are completely fucking lost in life. Those who don’t know what they want to do with life. Those who are stuck in a certain part of life and can’t get out. Those who are reaching for dreams they feel are impossible to reach. Those who feel like they’re accomplishments are being overlooked. Those who feel like their enough just isn’t enough. It is. You can make it. You will make it. There is an opening at the end of the tunnel.

[borderlinebeauty]

you see me dying and you just watch.

what’re you going to say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?