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browneyes-issac · 5 months

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So I apologize for taking longer then I said I would the other day.. This past week has been busyyy! 🙈

But I think my plan is reading wise. I'm gonna go through my tags first. Idk how fast I'll be, but I think that's a good place to start.

Idk how to go about checking in with all my favs... 🥺💞 do y'all want me to just slide into asks, dms, or just a repost of this? Whatever ya guys want to do.. 🫶

I have missed you guys so much.. I can't wait to get back. I'm gonna try not to overwhelm myself again so bare with me with being extra slow. 💞

Tag list ---

@guess-my-next-obsession @grogusmum @supernaturalgirl20 @heythere-mel @fuckyeahdindjarin @astroboots @alwayslurkinginthebackground @stxrrylunatic @prolix-yuy @harriedandharassed @mandoblowmybackout @astroboots

I forgot a few.. I swear I have memory problems.. 🥺🙈🤦‍♀️ idk why slowly forget things when have shut down, I'm so sorry.. 💞

Hellos everyoneeee!!! 💞👋

Sooooo I'm coming backkkk!! Finally!! 🙈💞😆

Warning This is super longgggg!! 🤣🙈

So I deeply apologize for dropping off the face of the earth back in February... I really had full 100% intentions of staying up to date with ready and writing... I just... I really think I overwhelmed myself working and trying to keep up.. Which that's nothing against anyone. I'm just super slow and I was still getting used to working evening being there five months. So I was sleeping more then my usual napping. So I think that's what started me backing away.

Then the housekeeping boss... She was becoming more and more of a bully to us and one of the ladies in laundry finally had enough and went to HR. She ended up getting fired. My aunt ended up taking the position.. Which yeah that was the logical choice but some stuff happened with her which I'll get into later on. But yeahhh, original boss lady strained on my mental health a lot...

And I am big on saying heyy blow up my phone if you need and or want to for whatever you want.. But I feel bad doing it to others so getting behind on my reading.. It kinda messed with me. Because I feel really bad for not staying up to date but also I just... I was getting burned out I think... 🥺🥺

A positive note ----

Biketok kinda consumed me on tiktok... 🤣🙈 gotta love the masked men love that Mando started for meeeee!! 🤣🤭

I have no words.. They all are so amazing and badass and I just... Yeahhh 🤭😍 I used to really hate sports bikes... But idk tiktok showed me they can be absolutely beautiful and their riders are so amazing... 🥺

I got a whole list of them that I follow and love but there is this one... His name is Angel. I don't even know where to start with him. He's so amazing, precious, dorky, idkk I just love and adore him. 💞

When I started following him it kinda started out as a crush.. Because ya know a booktok themed video of his popped up.. 🤣🤭 But once I got to know him through his lives and his more personal posts.. My love for him turned more into a comfort love. He brings me so much joy and comfort.. Like his fourth live I watched, I passed tf out. And I'm big on the saying; you fall asleep faster when you are laying next to someone you feel safe with. And it's the same thing with him. His voice just... 🥺💞🥰 Even when the dork is screaming and yelling at his games on live.. Still pass out and stay asleep. 🤣 he's really helped me heal a lot... 🫶

^^^^ this is the stinker in question. 🤭🤣 he did a face reveal, so I feel it's ok I am posting it on other social media. 💞 He's so stinking handsome I cantttt!! 😍💞🥰

I may still do thirsty comments on his posts.. But my teasing love and comfort love for him over powers that.. He just knows how to get under my skin with the spiciness.. 🤣🙈

He does have a girlfriend, which I'm endlessly happy for him.. He deserves endlesssss happiness!! 💞

If you would like to check him out... All socials are Outrunangels. He also has music out under that name. 🥰 he has music out under another name too, but not gonna promote it.. Not gonna type it out, if you'd like to listen to it after you've checked out the angel stuff.. Let me know and or I'll do a post about it too.. 🤣

~~~~~

Ok back to the annoying soppy stuff.. Enough of me gushing about my Angel baby.. 🤣💞🤭

So when I was pulled into biketok.. I found this one guy. He followed me back on tiktok and one day we started talked and he asked to move to snap, because tiktok didn't send him notifications good enough.. Which is fine, I had no problem with that. We started talking more.. Kinda... Kinda ended up being more of a spicy relationship. Which I was fine with. Because I've never been a relationship or had any romantic anything.. I know I've never shared this on here, but I've grown a lot and I'm not that ashamed of it anymore. I'll share about what helped me later on.

Anyways. This guy... I confessed I started developing feelings for him and that I'd love to start to get to know each other better. His response was I'm sorry I don't do relationships because I move around a lot. Ok I get that completely, but long distance can work and it doesn't hurt to at least have friends.

So I kinda started stepping back.. Because that hurt and as time went on it did more and I had some good days. Then around the middle of August, maybe the week after my birthday (it's the 6th ), he posted a few videos with a girl and I believe one said it was his girlfriend. Sooo yeahhh that killed me a bit. Like ok you could have been a decent human and said hey I don't like you anymore so let's stop talking, because I found someone.

I stepped back completely then.. I kept him on everything and just slowly deleted him off of everything. A few weeks ago a video of his popped up, he ended up breaking up with that girl.. I kinda laughed, because karmaaaa! 🤷‍♀️

Angel came into my life at a really good time. It was right before the crap with this guy got really bad for my mental health. And just like his name he was an angel and saved me. 🥺💞

Back to work stuff... Ya know how I said my aunt is my boss? Yeah kinda sucks now... So my dad is the manager for the bowling alley in town. He hired my cousin, my aunts son. He's been slacking a lot.. Dad has tried talking to him a lotttt... Fought to get him a raise... And then the Monday after my dad's birthday he fired him. Because he went behind dads back to the GM.. What's the point of dad being manager if he's gonna go to the GM?? Some other stuff happened too that caused dad to finally fire him.

My aunt is a childish person... So of course when my dad tried to talk to her calmly when she was there with her bowling buddies... She blew up at him talking about this isn't my problem blah blah.. And some other stuff that is family stuff.. Don't wanna get into it.. Been dealing with that mentally too much...

So she's been acting annoyingly at work.. Some other reasons too, but it irritates me too much so not gonna get into it.

Back in September one of the CNAs on my Hall was making fun t-shirts for all of us to wear for Halloween in October. She asked me to come help her and just hang out.. She only had mine left to do, pay day was the following week.. So I assumed that we were gonna wait to wear them until I had mine done. Which awesome, I'm fine with waiting.. Get to work Tuesday.. And all of them are wearing their shirts... It crushed me, but I didn't say anything because I've never been like that. But my mom, the protector she is... Did say something to Chrissy (aunt/boss) and a CNA she's friends with.. She talked to her in confidence as friend and fellow mom... Well this girl went to the nursing boss about it... So boss lady chewed the nursing saffs butts about it...

Mind you. Two of the CNAs I've known most of my life.

I think it was the Friday that this happened... When I got back upstairs from break, the girl that did the shirts asked if I was upset about not having my shirt yet. I said yes, but once I thought about it I was fine with not having it yet because I'm the housekeeper and the youngest, and my shirt is a different picture... And then mom got upstairs too because the CNA that actually cared about me out of the two I know, she had asked for mom to come talk to her... Because she knows how I'd react about the situation..

Mom and her walked away and I was still talking to the shirt maker one.. Boss lady and the other one I've known forever both said idk why we have to deal with right now and in the middle of the hall... Um excuse me, this is how we always talk.. It's not my fault you guys don't do your job properly so you gotta race to do things when state is in the building... So I walked away crying...

This killed me a lot.... Then the CNA that is mean that I've known... She keeps singling me out and setting me up for crap...

Mind you, she started doing this the week my mom was puking her brains out.

Oh and another thing I'm gonna share with y'all finally... I still live with parents.. We all aren't in a rush for me to move out and I help with bills, which is why I wanted a job...

We didn't know what was wrong with her.. She couldn't stand up really without feeling dizzy and puking... So no work for her.. I was having to worry about helping get her stuff done plus my hall. So I was slacking a lot. Because my mom is never sick. So I was freaking out and struggling a lot...

And this woman decides to start doing this crap that week and telling my boss.. I'm gonna leave this and see how long it takes lotus to pick it up... Like wtffff???

So yeah this all has been straining on my mental health a lot... I'm finally slowly getting bsck to being better... I'm gonna be switching to deep cleaning soon.. I'm training the new girl. I'm hoping she won't freak out and quite. 🤞

~~~ two postive things again.. 🥰

First.. The thing that had helped me not be ashamed of being single all my life and have no romantic background at all... I found this audio erotica app called Quinn. They have Voice actors that do spicyyy audios. It's such a wide range of stuff on there. Very sex postive. And their social media team posts so amazingly with helping us understand the positivity that goes with sex. They have helped me a lot with being ok with how I am not having experience. And I follow a few of the ones I love.. And ahh they are so sweet and awesome.. Have helped a lot too. Also, Quinn is only $5 a month.. 👀👀

Second... I got my first tattoo!!!

The meaning ---- this is a mental health tattoo.🫶

no I didn't get the lotus out of cheesiness of it being my name. I got it because I love the symbolism of it. Lotus flowers grow through the mud. So I have always said; you have to push through the mud of life to blossom into the beautiful lotus flower you are.

The words. I have always said that to my friends and myself.. And ya know I don't really cuss unless I'm really mad and that is how I always type out that cuss word.

It is also in honnor the people we have lost to suicide. 💞 I've had some family friends, famous people I adore and just in general for people we've lost to it. 💞

It's still super weird I have one. I never thought I would be able to do it!! I'm so scared of pain, but this pain.. It hurt but not really.. My mom and I keep saying, it's the perfect pain that doesn't hurt like other pain. I so calm during it that my hand went cold from keeping it still.. 🙈🤣

I can't wait to get moreeeee!! 🤭🤭

Ok will post this with some tags and then reblog with tagging people and some more to write. 💞

#taglist #hii guysss 🥺💞

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browneyes-issac · 5 months

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Hellos everyoneeee!!! 💞👋

Sooooo I'm coming backkkk!! Finally!! 🙈💞😆

Warning This is super longgggg!! 🤣🙈

A positive note ----

Biketok kinda consumed me on tiktok... 🤣🙈 gotta love the masked men love that Mando started for meeeee!! 🤣🤭

^^^^ this is the stinker in question. 🤭🤣 he did a face reveal, so I feel it's ok I am posting it on other social media. 💞 He's so stinking handsome I cantttt!! 😍💞🥰

I may still do thirsty comments on his posts.. But my teasing love and comfort love for him over powers that.. He just knows how to get under my skin with the spiciness.. 🤣🙈

He does have a girlfriend, which I'm endlessly happy for him.. He deserves endlesssss happiness!! 💞

~~~~~

Ok back to the annoying soppy stuff.. Enough of me gushing about my Angel baby.. 🤣💞🤭

Angel came into my life at a really good time. It was right before the crap with this guy got really bad for my mental health. And just like his name he was an angel and saved me. 🥺💞

So she's been acting annoyingly at work.. Some other reasons too, but it irritates me too much so not gonna get into it.

Mind you. Two of the CNAs I've known most of my life.

This killed me a lot.... Then the CNA that is mean that I've known... She keeps singling me out and setting me up for crap...

Mind you, she started doing this the week my mom was puking her brains out.

Oh and another thing I'm gonna share with y'all finally... I still live with parents.. We all aren't in a rush for me to move out and I help with bills, which is why I wanted a job...

And this woman decides to start doing this crap that week and telling my boss.. I'm gonna leave this and see how long it takes lotus to pick it up... Like wtffff???

~~~ two postive things again.. 🥰

Second... I got my first tattoo!!!

The meaning ---- this is a mental health tattoo.🫶

The words. I have always said that to my friends and myself.. And ya know I don't really cuss unless I'm really mad and that is how I always type out that cuss word.

It is also in honnor the people we have lost to suicide. 💞 I've had some family friends, famous people I adore and just in general for people we've lost to it. 💞

I can't wait to get moreeeee!! 🤭🤭

Ok will post this with some tags and then reblog with tagging people and some more to write. 💞

#long ass post #what ive been up to #lil life update 💞#hii everyone!#ive missed youuu 🥺

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browneyes-issac · 5 months

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🥺💞🫂 * runs to hug youuu *

You're so darn sweetttttt! 😭💞 you didn't have to do that, could have blown up my phone, lmao. 🫶

After I get off from work today, I'll do my post of what's be going on. 💞

Love youuu toooooo!! 🫂💞😘

I know I would end up writing too much in the comments so I'm sending here.. Because ya know I'm terrible with being short.. 🤣🤦‍♀️

You stinkerrrrr!!! You did get it!!! 💞🤣 I don't know why but I got the cry thing in my throat when I read my name... 🥺 I figured people would forget me and such... Idk.. I just dropped off the face of the earth and didn't really do anything...

I love you Kat and I've missed you so much. 💞🫂😘 gonna have to message you in a few to catch up, etc. 💞

Me jumping and doing this.. I think I'm gonna do a hii I'm back post today or tomorrow.. 👀🙈🤣

aw, lotus, i’m gonna cry!! 😭 i’ve missed you so much and wondered where you went but wanted to give you your space and privacy. but i’m so glad you’re back!!

i can’t wait to hear how life’s been for you! love you so much friend!! 🫶🏼

#hiii im coming backkk #stay tuned for the catch up post later on today #ive missed you guys!

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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🥺💞🥳 Katttt!!! I'm so excited for youuu!! You absolutely deserve everyone of them! You're writing is and always will be so beautiful. Always will be such gorgeous worlds you create. I'm so so proud of you gorgeous. 💞🥳😘

well, this happened today 😭

i truly don’t even know what to say. wow. i never in a million years thought i’d be celebrating GMNO’s first anniversary with 5k followers. this is fucking crazy, thank you. i’ve written out paragraphs trying to explain how fucking thankful i am for each and every person who has followed me, who’s left a kind comment/reblog/like, who’s sent me a message when i’m feeling down, but i just can’t seem to put it into words. i don’t know that i’d still be here without having found this community of kind souls that check in on me, that encourage me, that remind me that life is worth living. i am forever indebted to so many of you. this is insane. i love you all so much. gonna go cry in the shower. 🤍

#ahhh!!#congrats sweetie! 💞#everyone go follow this amazing human!! 💞

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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So so beautiful!! 💞

Absolutely adore how Din was when he found out she was learning it. So sweet. 💞

Cyar'ika

Summary: As the now rightful heir to the throne of mandalore, Din Djarin is king of his home. While repairing his homeland and reviving his people is important to him, his wife is the most precious thing to him besides baby Grogu. As his wife is queen, she wants to learn how to express her love for him in mando'a (Mandalorian language).

A/N: Any words in [Brackets] will be the translation of the mando'a language. Din rarely speaks it, but the Star Wars fandom is very familiar with the language created by Star Wars, writer George Lucas, and Dave Filoni.

Word Count: 814

Pairing: Din Djarin (Mando) x wife! Reader

Din Djarin Fic Event Masterlist

Mandalore. Your new home. You never thought you'd have a true home after your parents died all those years ago at the tender age of 15. For over a decade, you were taken in as family by Peli Motto on Tatooine, which you were grateful to the stars and back for. Even there, you had a part of you missing. Adventure. Danger. Love. Maybe it was all of the above.

One humble day while fixing a few sandcruzers around Peli's garage,you met the infamous bounty hunter- The Mandalorian. Mando as Peli called him when you met him last year. He was seen as a mysterious and lone man who had no regard for others. However, you believed the contrary.

His love for Grogu was beautiful. After agreeing to accompany them on a mission to save Grogu from Mof Gideon, you fell in love with Din. Din Djarin. His real name. Now your name. Y/N Djarin. Your love for one another grew as you both were happily married. The moment you were able to see his face in private after your vows made you super ecstatic.

2 years later

You always loved gardens and the meanings behind different flowers. Mandalore is being reconstructed to the beautiful planet it once was under your husband's rule. When you became queen, it was very far-fetched to you. An orphan as a queen. Perhaps that's why you and Din are a beautiful match. Both orphans were seeked love and affection.

While on Tatooine with Peli for all those years, you took up botany and herbal studies. You always believed in beautification. In a dull environment, flowers can brighten anything. You now teach botany to the young girls who love gardening apart from meetings with the council with your husband.

"Excuse me, Queen Y/N."

Feeling a tap on your black gown, a tiny squeaky voice from behind you prompts you to turn around. You see one of your precious botany students holding a bouquet of lilies out towards you.

"Awwww thank you. This is so precious. You really didn't have to."

You take them from her little hands and smell the sweet fragrance. You lean down to give her a hug.

"I remember you taught us that Lillies symbolize beauty. Well, you are the most beautiful Queen our people has ever had.", the girl smiled.

"Awww. Vor'e [Thank you]"

The girl smiles and runs along to her mother. You remembered learning a few phrases with your husband a few days ago. You were a non- mandalorian, but his people welcomed you as they saw you first to protect them just as Din did.

Walking back to the castle, you walk into the library, scanning through the shelves. You find "The love language of Mando'a". You wondered how you could express more to your husband in his language. He doesn't expect you to, but you want to be a part of his culture. Turning to the chapter index, you see the page for marriage rituals and expressions of love most common amongst Mandalorians.

"Ner riduur.” [My spouse]

”Cyar’ika, ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.” [Darling, I love you]

Seems simple enough to you.

"Maybe I should practice with Din. Hopefully, I won't mess up."

You continue reading about more royal marriage rituals in the mandalorian culture.

"Are you reading something, my precious Cyar'ika?." [Sweetheart/ Darling]

You gasped as you turned to see your husband without his helmet smiling at you. As a mandalorian, married couples are bound as one, and he is allowed to show his face to you only.

"Din! Don't frighten me like that."

You stand up and close the book walking over to your husband kissing him softly wrapping your arms around his neck carefully not to hit him with your crown. Feeling the cold touch of his beskar armor, you shiver as he puts his hands on your waist.

"So what were you reading, my Cyar'ika?."

"A book about marriage rites in the mandalorian culture, Ner riduur." [My spouse]

His deep brown eyes sparkle like his beskar armor and a smile lands on the handsome face of your husband.

"Where did you learn that, my Queen?.", He asks kissing your cheek.

You giggle running your fingers through his dark brown hair.

"The book, but I've heard it before. Our wedding ceremony. I tried my best to say the ancient mando'a vows. I needed to remember. I wanted to try expressing loving expressions in your people's language", You smile at him.

"You are a wonderful queen and wife as I knew you would be. Cyar’ika, ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.” [Darling, I love you], Din says kissing your lips again.

"Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.”[I love you]

A/N: Helloo😁 this is my first Din Djarin fic and Day 1 of my Din Djarin fic event. Hope you enjoyed it🥰

No Pressure Tag List: @browneyes-issac @thatredheadwriter @guess-my-next-obsession-sideblog @laters-gators @supernaturalgirl20 @writersblog20 @vanemando15 @pedrito-friskito

#fic rec #din djarin #pedro pascal #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Helllos😁🤗🩷

Day 1 of my Din Djarin Fic Event will be posted this weekend. Hope you enjoy it😁

Details

No Pressure Tag List: @browneyes-issac @pedrito-friskito @supernaturalgirl20 @supernaturalgirl @writersblog20 @thatredheadwriter @bbygirlpascal

#ekkk #so excited!!#pedro pascal #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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If anyone has any ideas they wanna see Kayla create, send them in!! She does so amazing with how she writes!! 💞🤗

Din Djarin Celebration Fic Event Masterlist

Each day is a concept for the fic. Title and summary will be added below🤗

Day 1: Teaching

Day 2: Eyes

Day 3: Beautiful

Day 4: Queen

Day 5: Star-Crossed

#single boost #pedro pascal #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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the last of us (series) is truly a work of art. i will never understand anyone who disagrees. not only does it do the game justice and beyond, but the casting has been phenomenal, the characterizations have been phenomenal, the storyline is compelling and thrilling, the representation we’ve seen so far makes me feel seen in a way that not much other media has been able to, and the cinematography is fucking stunning. it is so much better than i could’ve dreamed it to be, and my god, if these fuckin’ gamer idiots don’t shut the fuck up i’m gonna pull my hair out. if you’re homophobic and racist, just say that babes, we already know.

#this!#🙌💞🔥#the last of us #kat speaking facts as always!! 💞

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Din Djarin (Mando) Celebration Event

We are 1 week from the premiere of Season 3 of the Mandalorian. We all are looking forward to seeing our beloved space daddy, Din Djarin back with baby Grogu🥰.

In celebration of Season 3, I have decided to do a Din Djarin fic event.

How to/Rules:

There will be 5 spots open for requests for this event (subject to change). Each request will have a key word attached. The key word can be used for those who'd like to brainstorm and request a fic for his character.

Example:

Keyword: Romance

Sample Request: Din and the reader are on a date on the razercrest away from the troubles on Mandalor. He treats her as a Queen showing his deep love for her.

Requests are now open. Please feel free to message me with any questions or clarification. Masterlist will be created shortly I hope to get submissions soon.

These are the keywords:

(Happy brainstorming!💞)

Day 1: Teaching

Day 2: Eyes

Day 3: Beautiful

Day 4: Queen

Day 5: Star-Crossed

No Pressure Tag List: @browneyes-issac @pedrito-friskito @supernaturalgirl20 @supernaturalgirl @writersblog20 @thatredheadwriter @bbygirlpascal

#single boost #soo excited for theseee!! 💞#pedro pascal #din djarin #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian season3

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Katttttt!! 💞🥺😭

How are you so amazing with capturing emotionssssss??

He deserves so much love and comfort.. He has done so much, went through so much in the last 20 years.. He has didn't do anything wrong at all, it's the damn world that did it.. Wish we all could go comfort him and show him how amazing he is.. 💞

Fear of Failure

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: episode 5&6 spoilers!!! (hurt/comfort, anxiety, panic attacks, sobbing, grief, big time angst)

wc: <1k

a/n: welp i am a puddle of tears after that episode. this is how i’m coping LMAO ~ gc: @mymycorrhizae

joel miller masterlist

You’d known something had shifted in him since Kansas City. He’d pulled away from both you and Ellie, although the traumatic events in that hotel room in the outskirts of the city naturally forced the three of you closer.

Ellie hadn’t seemed to pick up on the shift, at least not that she let on. You preferred it that way—she didn’t need to know that her mere existence caused her protector, her friend, to implode.

You saw the first panic attack right outside of the cabin in the woods, the three of you losing hope rapidly that Tommy was alive, and that you’d be able to get Ellie where she needed to be.

He clutched his heart, and for a moment you believed he was dying. It was written all over him—fear. Fear of losing Tommy, losing Ellie…losing you. You wanted to pull him into an embrace so tight his nervous system had no choice but to regulate, but you couldn’t. Not with Ellie watching.

It happened again when the three of you were circled by horsemen with rifles directed at you, their dog sniffing you determining your fate. Neither of you could do anything but allow the events to play out as they would, and while you carried your own panic, it didn’t petrify you like it did Joel. He seemed to be frozen, lost in time.

When the three of you rode into Jackson, your arms wrapped around Joel’s waist as you shared a horse, you tried to squeeze him, but were stopped by his hand interlocking with one of yours resting on his stomach. Later, you hoped, you’d crawl into his bed and hold him properly. In your fantasies he’d let you. And in your fantasies, it would fix him.

But the reality happened much more messily, much more desperately. You found him sitting in a shoe shop, his healing fist trembling as he tried to replace the sole on his worn boots, his cheeks red from the brawl happening inside him.

“Joel,” you called softly, standing in the doorway of the shop. The doorbell rang as the door shut behind you, your boots gently tiptoeing you toward him as he sat, hanging his head, the pliers in his grasp dropping to the floor along with his broken boot.

“I can’t do it,” he confessed in the faintest whisper you’d ever heard. He lifted his head, his cheeks stained with fresh tears, his eyes red and tired as he locked them with yours. “I can’t keep goin’ with her.”

“Oh,” you cooed, your heart physically aching at the sight of agony written all over his worn face. You walked to him, standing between his knees and tugging his head against your sternum. Joel sobbed as he wrapped his arms around you, crumbling and melting into you for the first time in a long time.

“I can’t fail anymore,” he sobbed. “Can’t fail her.”

You started to cry, overwhelmed by the urge to take his pain away. You would’ve started a world war in that matter of a second if it meant Joel’s heart would be at peace, if the demons in his mind would vanish.

“You know me better than any-damn-one,” he rasped, voice gravelly from strain, and lifted his head off of you to look up into your eyes. “All I do is fail. I failed—her. Failed Tess. Failed you more times than I can count. I cannot fail her. Can’t do it.”

You lowered yourself into a squat, your hands resting on either side of his face as you looked deeply into his eyes. For a minute, you swore you could see the same things he did—you could see every demon that haunted him up close, you could almost heart their taunts.

“Joel,” you began, voice shaking from emotion but stern nonetheless. “You are the only person—the only thing in this world that I can count on. You have not failed me, you’ve saved me. You did not fail Tess. She didn’t blame you, and she definitely wouldn’t want you carrying her death on your shoulders like this. And Sarah?” You had to pause, Joel’s face tensing at the mere utterance of his daughters name. “You did not fail her. The world did. You did not kill her. A soldier did. You protected her as best as you could. Do you understand me? You are not a failure, and you won’t fail Ellie.”

“What if I do?” he asked, choking on the question. “What if I can’t keep her safe out there anymore? You’ve seen me. I’m…worse than I used to be. Can’t hear the same, can’t see—what if I can’t keep her safe?”

The doorbell ringing signaled an intruder, Tommy, it turned out. You swallowed and wiped your eyes, turning back to Joel once more.

“You’re not half as bad as you think you are, Miller,” you whispered, pinching his chin. “I’ll see you back at the house?”

Joel nodded, his hand rubbing the outside of your thigh as you stood up.

“Treat him gently,” you whispered to his brother as you past him. “Or else.”

#fic rec #pedro pascal #joel miller #tlou spoilers #joel miller fanfiction

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Update about me under the cut. 💞

Ok so... Ya know how yesterday I started my new position at work...

I didn't... 🙈

I woke up sick.. So I stayed home. Which is completely ok.. Boss lady was also sick, so she totally understood.. There is a bug going around the facility and I finally got hit with it... 🤦‍♀️

I'm feeling better today. But I figured I'd stay home today too, just to get more recharge in and so I don't risk over working myself with only crackers and Gatorade in my tummy.. 😆

So tomorrow should be my first day.. 🤞 I'm gonna rest some more today and try to eat later on...

Anyways I just wanted to update y'all. I will do another post tomorrow after work talking about how it went, because I'm still super excited about changing, etc. 🥰

Hope everyone is doing well. Love ya. 💞😘

#lil life updates 💞#screw being sick

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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He is so beautiful with how he is so sweet with her and how he talks in general. 💞🥰😍

I endlessly love how you write Hazel. Always wispy me away to another beautiful world. 💞😍

JANUARY: Quiet Moon

OBERYN MARTELL X F!READER

W/C 1520

WARNING: suggestions of sex, but this is a fade-to-black situation. TW reader cuts hand purposefully for a ritual. Mention of blood, not explicitly described. Oberyn. He will forever need his own warning.

A/N Welcome to my January installment for @yearofcreation2023 (a fantastic notion by @oonajaeadira.)

Oops forgot some thank yous!! Big thanks to @writeforfandoms and @radiowallet for reading when I was not so sure.💚

He had been sent as a representative of Dorne to Winterfell of all places. Cold weather clothes had been made for him especially, so he could wear Sunspeares colors even if he was not in their traditional fabrics. But despite the best efforts of the tailor or the weight and itch of his garments, he is still cold. His day was spent in dark stone rooms, listening to men prattle. Speaking in the code of politics. All platitudes and vibrato, all the while saying nothing, for fear of giving up weakness or need. He hates it.

Oberyn pulls at the fur collar of his coat.

What am I doing here? This is worse than I could have imagined.

No need for a soothsayer to foretell his evening will be spent eating heavy dishes, drinking dark beer, and listening to more pomposity. His only consolation, find someone to warm his bed.

At the entrance of the great hall, he takes his hand away from his collar, cracks his neck, and saunters in with his usual swagger. Oberyn takes in the room. It is warmer than he anticipated but dark. Those in attendance huddle in groups at their tables around candles. He ventures to open his coat, and an usher approaches, offering to take it.

“Thank you, Oberyn murmurs with a catlike smile, “and what are you called?”

“Barroth, my lord,” he says, coming behind Oberyn to free his shoulders from the garment. Folding it over his arm, Barroth leads Oberyn to his chair, pulling it back for him.

“Thank you again Barroth,” Oberyn smiles more widely, though he has decided the usher is perhaps a bit young to pursue.

He is seated at the table for visiting dignitaries and is surrounded by the boresome men he had to spend the day listening to pontificate and politic. So his eyes quickly roam the room. Below his table is a table far livelier than his. He can not hear them, for the buzz of conversation around him. But he enjoys the energy. He watches one woman in particular, she seems serious but not without humor. She laughs with her neighbors, her eyes lighting up with mirth at someone's jest, then becomes observant and quiet. Listening. Her eyes land on him twice, their eyes connecting and both times he feels something. Just a tug of interest and attraction.

Soon, he is forced to engage with his table mates, and when he looks for her at the end of the feast, she is nowhere to be found.

You gather up some amber coals from your fire in a scuttle. Bundling up some tinder and split logs under one arm, the scuttle in the same hand. Then grabbing your staff in the other. Making your way out of the castle, outside the walls, and into an open field. You move quickly, the moon is rising and you have work to do. After building your fire, you add the hot coals, it takes but a little of your breath to set the ambers aglow and bring them back to life. Taking off your heavy cloak, you pick up your staff and cast your circle clockwise 'round the fire, and begin the ritual.

Scenting the fire with wormwood, wolfsbane, and vervain-

"Wormwood for protection in troubled times, wolfsbane for warning, may we drive out treachery and vervain for carom, may our enemies reap what they sow."

The Prince of Dorne, though displeased to be alone, was glad to be in his chamber. Tossing and turning in his empty bed, suddenly he pushes the bedclothes back. Giving in, scoffing he slips into soft shoes to protect from the cold stone floor, and pads his way to the small room with the chamber pot. Unlike the bed chamber with its heavy curtains and shutters bracing against the cold, its one narrow window has no coverings. The room is bright as day, though the light is a cool silver.

After relieving himself, he looks out over the snow; blue-white and sparkling. He can finally see some beauty in it. Then a figure crosses the grounds, cloak rippling behind them. In one hand a pail with a warm glow coming from it, in the other, a staff.

Intrigued, Oberyn dresses and pursues.

Seeing the figure make the small fire and casting aside their cloak, he shivers violently at the very thought, and then they cast a circle. He can hear the cadence, but not the words. He knows a solitary rite has begun, it seems to be protective in nature as watches them, you, work.

Your arms reach above, to the moon, and Oberyn nears on silent feet, watching your form. The light of the fire passes through your cotton shift and sets your silhouette aglow.

"To the unnamed gods, I beseech, and give my offering."

You pull a silver crescent-shaped knife, and with a quick slice on your palm, you make your offering, several drops of blood to the fire. Suddenly the sky lights up with colors, the Aurora Borealis. Oberyn staggers back, awe painting his features. He has never seen such a thing. After a moment his eyes come back to you.

You press on the small wound to stop the bleeding and murmur-

“This is my wish and my will, so mote it be.”

Oberyn waits, not wanting to interfere. Eyes going to the green and purple streaked sky, then down to you. But he was drawn in, your voice, your silhouette, and something he could not mark. Suddenly, baying can be heard from Wolfswood. It is only then that he realized how silent it had been during your ritual.

"May I?" He says, once he can see you have finished. He pulls a handkerchief from within his coat.

"You may enter," reminding yourself to open yourself to the offerings of the gods, as you watch this man, seemingly clothed in the sun, approach the fire. His eyes are black like coal and radiate heat just the same.

Oberyn can feel a shift as he steps into the sacred space. Then stepping into yours, he places the fabric across your palm and turns your hand as though it is the most exquisite and delicate of things. Once he knots the ends of the scrap of fabric, his dark eyes leave your hand and land on yours.

"Sorceress. Did I not see you at the feast earlier? I find myself drawn to you, what magic do you perform this night?" Oberyn closes any distance left.

"I beseech protection for my people. I do not pull at anything for any reason, save this- if you are here to help Winterfell. The people of the kingdom of the North?"

"My brother, the ruling prince of Dorne, has sent me as an envoy from Sunspear." His hands land firmly on your hips. Bold, but you allow it.

"That tells me nothing, my lord."

Prince Oberyn chuckles, Oh I like you, he thinks "Perhaps, I must attend tomorrow's meetings with more interest. If you are returning to the Keep, perhaps you would allow me to escort you? You can tell me about the lights in the sky...”

“Thank you, my lord, I would be happy to,” you give a slight bow.

“Oh enchantress, please. You need not bow to me, or address me such. I am Oberyn.”

“Very well,” you stutter infinitesimally, “Oberyn.”

You cover the fire in the snow, gather your staff, and scuttle, which Oberyn promptly takes from you and offers you an elbow. Accepting it, you give him your name.

“It may do me well, to hear an account of the troubles the North is facing without all of the politics,” the prince says, adding with a cheeky smile,” and find an activity to stave off the cold.”

You reign in the fluster caused by the prince's addendum.

“Winterfell is built on a hot spring, compared to seats like Castle Cerwyn or White Harbor, it is quite warm.” You are the picture of earnestness

Oberyn gives a hearty laugh.

“Alright, it is less cold then,” you laugh and then boldly add, “never the less, I may be able to accommodate both entreaties.”

You make your way to your chamber explaining the ongoing difficulties your kingdom has endured. You open the door and invite him in, but he holds your arm, keeping you in the passageway.

“I am sympathetic to the struggle of your Kingdom. And will impart the messages of Winterfell and you, to my brother… but, I do not know that I was called by your magic. Your charms beguiled me before this moon ritual. I watched you at the feast, and found myself… interested in getting to know you better"

"Is that right?"

“It is. I want it to be understood. That you do not need to do anything with me, for the benefit of the kingdom of the North. My interest in you is completely separate from my interest in your earnest call to the gods for aid. I hope Dorne can be of service, of course”

“Well, that is a relief, because I am sure I am quite useless-”

“Now, now. None of that,” Oberyn’s smile is sinful, and his voice is like honey, as he dips his head to kiss your sultry lips.

As your lips meet, his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you in. Pressing fully against you, he leads the way into the room, puts the pail down, and shuts the heavy door.

THANKS FOR READING! 💚

MASTERLIST

If you care to be tagged for any of my works, my taglist form can be found here! I've added my Year of Themed Creations Series

#fiv rec #oberyn martell #pedro pascal #oberyn martell x f!reader

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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He will always hold the title of most precious bean out of all the Pedro boys, javi g is close.. But Marcus is the king bean, lol. 💞 He's just so stinking preciousss!!

Getting to see how he is battling with himself about confessing to her.. 🥺 I totally understand his stress about it though, especially with how independent she seems.

Then how you ended it. * chefs kiss* so perfect! 😍💞

Writers' Iron Chef #9: My Everything and Beyond

[PROMPT] Song lyrics from Leon Bridges’ “Beyond” “Do you think I’m being foolish if I don’t rush in?

I’m scared to death that she might be it That the love is real That the shoe might fit She might just be my everything and beyond”

[TIME LIMIT] Optional, 10 minutes prep. time 30 minutes writing time Optional, 10 minutes editing time

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Rating: T, some angsty Marcus, overthinking galore, lotsa sweetness. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Summary: He's never named the feeling in his chest, but it's as much a part of him as he wants you to be,

Notes: Written for Writers’ Iron Chef Prompt 9.

To ease myself back into writing after the holidays, here's a little fun with Marcus. I am a classically trained overthinker, so I thought it would be fun to see Marcus trying his darnedest to not keep making the same mistakes. I love these prompts as little writing warmups, and while this one got a little belabored in the metaphor it definitely got my wheels turning! Thanks to @writersironchef for always giving the best prompts!

He was wrong before, and that’s what scares him now. This twisting, aching, anxious feeling scrambling in his chest is so close to what he felt for Teresa, but with sharper teeth. Claws that scrape and dig between his ribs. And words that drift up and past his ears like steam from an unattended teapot ready to burst into song.

You love her.

But Marcus doesn’t know when to trust that voice anymore. Every time it’s hissed softly into his hopeful ear his heart took the damage. College girlfriend who balked at his promise ring. A wife gained, a wife lost. Another proposal dashed to bits on the cold concrete. This feeling is a liar, a trickster that beats against its confines no matter how hard Marcus tries to ignore it.

When you looked at him for the first time, more than the passing glance he waited for every morning, it tapped tentatively against his sternum.

When your morning greetings grew from “Hello Marcus!” to “I wish you never told me about The Subject was Roses, I cried for an hour after. You better have lunch free to talk about it!” it skated up his spine like ascending notes on a xylophone.

And finally, after six dinners at the same terrible Chinese place between your apartment when he admitted he wished all of them had been dates, it dug its claws into his chest and held still for a breath.

But when you smiled over the lip of your beer, and said “Haven’t they been?” it roared.

Falling in love was Marcus’ true profession, but was he ever lousy at staying employed. Not for lack of trying, and after Teresa he realized maybe for an abundance of trying. So with you he wrestles the tremors of excitement back. He’s going to play it cool, play it slow. Dampen the voice that begs him to kiss you, hold you, tell you every little thing he wants and desires and what he’ll do to give you the world.

He’s going to do it right this time.

But every time he tries not to linger on your touch, he finds his hands ghosting over your skin. Your teases set his face ablaze, needing to take several laps around the office to regain his composure. And the last few times he’d watched you mount your steps, saying goodnight with a beat longer than necessary before heading inside, he wanted to follow.

He knows he’s getting close to trouble now. The worst part is how much you’re stoking this feeling, and how hard it's becoming to resist. All he wants to do is quell the ache ponging around his stomach, but your last moments each night are spent obsessing over whether now is the time to kiss you. And if it is, can he stop once he’s started?

You’re starting to notice, and it’s only making it worse. The pendulum has swung too far in the other direction, and now Marcus is positively glacial in his courtship. Thinking about it makes his jaw ache, the twin desires of tell her everything and don’t scare her off become a torturous purgatory of his own devising.

Tonight the air is crisp, and you’re walking closer than usual. He took you to a cozy Mediterranean place this time, the vegetal spice of oregano and grape leaves still dancing on his tongue. You’d slipped your hand into his, tucking both into his overcoat pocket and the closeness makes the feeling rabid.

You love her.

I like her. A lot.

Tell her you love her.

I’ll scare her away.

Tell her you need her.

Stop it.

Kiss her kiss her taste her take her.

Marcus barely realizes he’s climbed the steps with you before he’s there, your hand still in his and your smile soft on your lips. He’s at a loss, all the words he’s warring with trapped in his throat.

“I…” he manages to croak out.

“Marcus,” you interrupt, opening your front door. If he could just focus for a moment, concentrate on the perfect arrangement of words to let you know how he feels without being too much, too fast, too soon.

“What are you waiting for?”

Your question quells the feeling for the first time in…Marcus isn’t sure how long. But it finally settles, like a feral cat come to love its home. And Marcus finally breathes.

“For you,” he says, chasing your smile as long as you’ll let him.

END

Join my Taglist!

#fic rec #pedro pascal #marcus pike #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike fanfiction

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Thank youuu! 🥰🙈💞

Hellos everyone. 👋💞

Me update under the cut if you'd like to read, lol.

So I know I haven't done one of these in a bit.. Mainly because I've been keeping up with being a lil active on here and I just haven't had anything happen really.. 🤷‍♀️ And I've kinda went into a slump again.. It's most likely a mix of things that caused me to go into one again but I'm slowing climbing my way back up. 💞

I got big news though!! 🥰

I am moving to housekeeping. Today was my last day in dietary and I start Monday. 🤗 The girl that started when I did in housekeeping moved to nursing so I decided to ask the boss lady if was able to move. Since the higher ups see now that I won't start anything with my family that is in that department. And she said yes. The reason I wanted to move is because there is two people ( I think I've vented about them on here..) that are mentally draining.. I've asked the girls I get along with to say something to them, the asses won't listen.. Told the boss, pretty sure she didn't ever say anything to them to stop.. So I talked it through with my mom. Not as a mom but as a friend.. Because I wanted her opinion on what to do. She said what was the first thought you had when heard about the girl moving? I said to go see if I could move.. Mom said there you thats your answer.. So the next day I went and talked to the boss lady about and she understood completely and said I could. And now I'm officially done with those people. 🤗 I will miss my girls I get along with, but I will see them everyday because I gotta hydrated and get food!! 😆🤭

Getting away from them is my selling point... Not even that I get a dollar more an hour, no weekends anymore, I get to do my freaking nails... Those are just added bonuses. 🥰🤭

Tumblr wise... 💞

I am planning on getting back to reading more regularly. Being off every weekend will help a lot I think. So be aware of my loving attacking youuu soon! 🥰😘

I love you all endlessly!! 💞 thank you for being so freaking sweet and amazing to me and just in general as people. 💞 I hope everyone doing well! 💞🤗😘

I know I got a good chunk of tags to get through.. Then I will be stopping by and 📖😍 the fics of my people that have stopped doing tags. And some that I just need to go lovingly attack because they deserve it. 💞🤗😘

And writing.. I promise I'm gonna get back to my Joel fic. I think I got too ahead of myself working on it.. So I kinda just dropped off the face of the earth with messing with it.. 😆🙈

Gonna tag my sweeties so I can make sure they see this if they would like to.. 😆🥰💞

@stxrrylunatic @supernaturalgirl20 @guess-my-next-obsession @grogusmum @alwayslurkinginthebackground @prolix-yuy @heythere-mel @fuckyeahdindjarin @astroboots

#sweet hazel 💞

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browneyes-issac · 1 year

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Hellos everyone. 👋💞

Me update under the cut if you'd like to read, lol.

I got big news though!! 🥰

Getting away from them is my selling point... Not even that I get a dollar more an hour, no weekends anymore, I get to do my freaking nails... Those are just added bonuses. 🥰🤭

Tumblr wise... 💞

I am planning on getting back to reading more regularly. Being off every weekend will help a lot I think. So be aware of my loving attacking youuu soon! 🥰😘

I love you all endlessly!! 💞 thank you for being so freaking sweet and amazing to me and just in general as people. 💞 I hope everyone doing well! 💞🤗😘

And writing.. I promise I'm gonna get back to my Joel fic. I think I got too ahead of myself working on it.. So I kinda just dropped off the face of the earth with messing with it.. 😆🙈

Gonna tag my sweeties so I can make sure they see this if they would like to.. 😆🥰💞

@stxrrylunatic @supernaturalgirl20 @guess-my-next-obsession @grogusmum @alwayslurkinginthebackground @prolix-yuy @heythere-mel @fuckyeahdindjarin @astroboots

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