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saying “can u not” to inanimate objects that are just following the laws of physics but in, like, inconvenient ways
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the entire point of life is to be silly, kind, and really weird btw.
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when he does a big stretch and his shirt comes up a little and you can see his tummy alskdkdksksjdjd
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yes i'm normal about him. i need to gnaw on him like a no. 2 pencil
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you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk
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AN-TI-BO-DIES
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people should give me money so i can get more tattoos and look hotter and sexier
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i love the strict boss and his hyperactive tech analyst that he’s overly protective over duo
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sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*
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Aging is hot. Gray hairs are hot. Smile lines are hot. Get with it.
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this is obscene
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tell me something i don't know brother
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I am, as the novelists say, in need of seaside air
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