chocsra

[chocsra]

HI GUYSSSS

just to let yall know im going on hiatus for maybe a month or two bcuz of school since i NEEDDDD my academic comeback.

however, yall know im a lazy bitch so during june (when we get no work cus it's the end of the yr) and summer I'll be back energised and everything woohoo

another reason is that tumblr rn is super dead, and there's more drama too 😕

i wanna get back into poem writing since that was originally my main thing before fanfiction, so that a wider range of people can read my works. I'm also starting to write songs for funsies so yea the grind never stops 💪

I can't promise though that when I come back that I'll still be as passionate with chuuya writing than before. maybe I'll b in another fandom or smth so prepare for that 🤷‍♀️ but it's just like a month or two so i most likely won't!!!!

and honestly that possibility is bcuz of timing (it's been like a year and my phases are that long) and MAINLY the fact that i now officially hate a boy ik irl thats a little too similar to him... NOT IN AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS WAY LIKE GENUINE DISLIKE. dm me for details cus i need to rant ✋✋ (hes so insufferable i be writing in a diary now) but yea I can't enjoy chuuyas English dub bc he sounds too much like him, and I can't say i like short guys anymore bcuz this guy is like 5'4, he utterly traumatised me. i am in need of help.

so yea that's my little reasoning, but I'll be ready for yall in summer or hopefully june when every tchr is done with everyone's shit. hopefully by that time that's when everyone is also not stressed with school so yaysies!

love you all tho. this isn't this fucking end 😈😈

#chocsra #hiatus era #bsd #chuuya x reader #no cus literally everyones dead on tumblr #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd x reader #reason I don't wanna disclose my hatred for this little boy is bc it's very much giving middle school drama #but please dm me so i can rant BECAUSE DAWGGGG #there's like 2 months of skol left so i NEED to lock in #chuuya nakahara #BYEBYE!!

[chocsra]

https://www.tumblr.com/lotus-pear/747757125845008384/the-way-u-drawcolour-chuuya-is-the-most

Thoughts and prayers for your low standards 🙏🏼

LMFAOOOOO STOP

#chocsra #asks answered! #asks #UGH I LOVE THAT PERSONS ART THO #WHEHEBEE

[chocsra]

✧ "YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS;

(wait until you like me again)"

☆ synopsis ↺: your ex, chuuya nakahara drunk calls you, only to realise you're all he ever wants. (based off arianas song: we can't be friends (wait until you like me again)

☆ content ↺: angst, slight stormbringer spoilers, swearing

Haunted - (of a place) frequented by a ghost.

—You were no ghost, Chuuya knew that. But in the rise of the sun, and awakening of the moon, he was haunted.

No, he didn't feel haunted. He's convinced he is, even if the fuel to propel those kinds of shitty thoughts is getting drunk on days when he should be resting.

—

"I want to burn every memory of you."

Chuuya murmurs under his breath, gloved fingers twirling the base of the wine glass to stimulate his turbulent thoughts—vibrant emotions that swish in the swell of his chest.

"You'd have to burn your own skin." A sweet voice breaks through the bitter taste of the red wine dissolving on his tongue. The statement and hollowness of your voice make him sharply turn behind him. Nothing. Just his empty office, the window before it, the cold air dancing around his tensed-up figure. Your absence evocative him.

Chuuya exhales sharply, a chill running up his spine. "My own skin?.." He takes a slim hand to card his russet locks in a cold confusion, scoffing just a bit. "Shit."

The mafioso leans back in the leather seat of his chair, before pouring the last of his wine bottle into the glass. Patting down his bolo tie and white dress shirt, he decides to waste this night drowning in red wine. A heavenly distraction from the reality of your hauntings, or the reality of your absence.

18k worth of alcoholic beverages wasted, down in the trash. Inaudible words conform on the curve of his lips, words of plea. It was a huge contrast to when Chuuya left you. "I'm sorry, really am.." he whispers, remnants of his scarlet wine ghosting over his lips. Fedora placed atop his head, covering his face, Chuuya lazily took out his phone, punching in his password with the messy coordination of his gloved fingers.

You're here, that's the thing.

Your number.

The mafia executive takes a shy and longing peek at your contact. Your last call 3 months ago, your profile picture stained with an old photo of you kissing his knuckles with an innocent smile tugging on your lips, and his thumb hovering over the 'call' button. Even in this drunken state, in the back of Chuuya's mind, he knew calling you would be audacious and pathetic. Especially when he left you first, but in the front of his mind, all he wanted was you. To hear your voice, either empty or full anger, or your voicemail, polite and concise, to hear the humanity that he lost by losing you.

The winter night

Chuuya presses on the call button, his screen lighting up and ringing. No real expectation that you were going to pick up, considering the time and caller. In the sea of his heart, that dreadful feeling was fought back by the artistic shuffle of his delusions. His once romantic poems chanted a mantra for you to pick up, that you were going to pick up the phone, not your ghost.

Chuuya's brows furrow, planting a line in the middle of his glabella. On this chilly night, where the usual jazz tunes of ensembles played in the Port Mafia's lobbies, musky scents and a hint of jasmine, and the click and clatter of heels and dress shoes..

My heart grieves;

..Chuuya feels himself yearning. Yearning for something more than this. The scent of home, your articles of clothing, your skin. He wants back the memory he wants to burn so badly, to smell the smoke and die on that same hill..

Greives without reason…

.."Please pick up." He feels himself pleading. Chuuya may tell himself you're all he wants right now, alcohol running wild in his noggin. However, he questions if he even knows what he needs..

My heart is rusting, turning purple.

.."Hi, you've reached [Y/N]. Thanks for calling, can't answer at the moment though. But if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Beep.

The night ends as Chuuya gently shuts off his phone.

But his first dream starts once enough alcohol is in his system.

They say the mind blocks out traumatizing memories to save itself from despondency. Nakahara Chuuya dreams, but he cannot grasp to remember that concept. Maybe, it's awful memories from his childhood or hallucinations from the children of the Sheep, or the Flags; Albatross, Doc, Pianoman, Iceman and Lippman.

"I'm sorry, if I stay with you, you'll just get hurt."

As if he was restricted in the ocean of his mind, Chuuya sees you and himself in your living room.

"I won't! You can send your bodyguards for protection, it's fine."

A constricted groan pulls from Chuuya's throat as he stares at the couch, wooden flooring, and anything but your pleading face. He remembers this all too well, the evening you separated. It was when Dazai left the mafia, and Chuuya continued to see his men drop like flies day after day from just his job alone. Apart from the other half of his soul disappearing completely, every piece of humanity he built up came crashing down on the body that his older brother called 2383 lines of code.

"It's not other people, it's myself! Don't you fuckin' get it?!"

A piercing silence fills the room. Aside from Chuuya's heart dropping at his own hurtful words, he tries to shut himself up, for looking at the way your eyes conform from pleading to understanding was all too much.

His voice cracking from the boiling misery in the pit of his stomach, Chuuya continues to look down, refusing to meet your teary eyes.

"You won't gain shit by being with me. I'm a monster, [Y/N]. I'm sorry."

The mafioso stares right at your pitiful figure, crystal tears poking the corners of your eyes. Like the hauntingly beautiful ghost he's ever seen through tunnel vision, Chuuya hasn't seen your truthful humanity in so long. For he saw you—a figment of himself, as he saw himself; inhuman.

...

"I'll always love you."

Chuuya snaps awake on his office chair, rays of sunshine ghosting over his ivory skin.

Pant.. Pant.

The man's eyes gaze at the loose ends of his office: the empty wine bottle, his dishevelled clothing, and the same, corporate-filled air surrounding him. Then, his phone.

2 missed calls.

Chuuya inhales sharply.

Perhaps it was the remnants of his dreadful hangover that took over him, that made Chuuya make the stupidest decision the Port Mafia has ever. But, his drunk words were his sober thoughts and, he wanted you back.

From [Y/N] [L/N].

Sent 7:35 AM — "Are you okay?"

And so, he swiftly grabbed his overcoat and dashed out of his office.

—

Mwah!

"I, Nakahara Chuuya, vow to love you forever and ever."

The man, bent down on one knee kisses the back of your hand teasingly. Chuuya Nakahara always took it next level, his grand gestures and sophisticated aura made him all the more appealing. That also meant planting an abundance more kisses on your fingers and knuckles.

You two had this unspoken code for each other: that hand kisses were an extremely valuable thing. Since Chuuya believes his hands are the ignition for Corruption, and are usually used for destruction, you could've chosen to have done anything with his ungloved hands to avenge the lives he's taken; but instead, you choose to kiss them.

"You're being corny again," you giggle, pointing to the bouquet in your hand—irises. "you even got me flowers."

You hit his head, huffing. "Hey!"

The mafioso smirks, chuckling. "I think you should be proud of yourself though," He teases, rubbing your hand gently, "you finally cooked something other than instant noodl—

Thwack!

—

In a disorienting manner, Chuuya hops off his motorbike at your workplace. Inhaling softly as he holds a bouquet of irises. All kinds of turbulent thoughts ran wild in his head, especially since he didn't get to shower yesterday. The man patted down his clothes and fixed his fair, adjusting his wrist to check his watch.

8:54.

Your work starts at 9:00 sharp.

Just as he's rushing to adjust his raven collar and fedora, the sight of your hair and work uniform catches his eye.

"Wait!"

—

Distance, timing and expectations.

The great adversaries of love.

A person cannot change distance or timing, but expectations are self-inflicted.

Chuuya felt like you were always going to expect more from him because he felt like he lacked in every way besides destruction. He expected that he was going to hurt you after Dazai left the Port Mafia, like a lingering spirit after they've lost their other half. Chuuya was responsible for inflicting negative 'what if's because of his own insecurities, losing you in the process.

He expected because you wanted him to stay back then, you were going to want that forever.

Because that's clearly not the case right now.

—

The redhead finally sees you in the sea of passersby, a clear image of your smiling face, pretty outfit, and glowing aura.

You stood out to him just like before.

So did the man beside you, with a bouquet of daffodils.

He took a fancy bow and kissed the back of your hand, handing over the flowers.

Oh, how irises—the flower of light, brought nothing more to him than darkness.

As crystal tears paint his eyes, Chuuya ponders the ache in his heart. He was truly foolish to believe more in your ghost, than you.

✧ chocsra™

#chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya bsd #chuuya oneshot #chuuya angst #ex chuuya #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya Nakahara angst #we can't be friends ariana #WOOHOO I POSTED #chuya x reader #chuya x you #chuya angst #chuya bsd #chuya nakahara #chuya x y/n

[chocsra]

i thought ur user was smth with chuuya in bc of the ch

WAIT STOPPPPP WHWHHHWH

NO I KUJOU SARA JUST SEEMED TO TICKLE MY PICKLE BACK THEN !!

#chocsra #honestly real

[chocsra]

YO WHATS UR FAVOURITE SHOW I LOVE ALL OF US ARE DEAD I WATCHED THAT A YEAR AGO BUT I HEARD SEASON2 IS COMING AND IM SO EXCITED BC IT WAS SO GOOD

OMG YEAH I LOVED ALL OF US ARE DEAD TOO!! not sure if i have a favourite show and it'll be repetitive if i say blue eye samurai again but for kdramas i loved sweet home , my name and the glory.

PROBABLY ALICE IN BORDERLAND AND ATLA WOULD BE MY FAVOURITEEEE, i wanna watch pen15 tew actually

#chocsra #pen15 bc i know a dude who looks and dresses EXACTLY like shuji #and also cus maya is maya and ive heard that its real asf #ofc bsd is one of my favs although i like the manga and light novels better #ATLA!!! #i loved azula sm shes so real for her mommy issues #ever since that korra edit has been lurking around ive been reminded of my love for her #the live action didnt retain a lot of its comedy and like personality from the show but the visuals are stunning #and the interviews of the cast are so adorbs HEHEHE

[chocsra]

OMG AVA, the new pin is so adorable!!! 🤭

OMG THANK U SM RUKA <3333 DWHHWHQW

NO BUT URS TOO ITS SAUR ADORBS

may i ask if u like the colour blue?? mwuahahahah

#chocsra #MY MUTUALSS SS #RUKA!! #just realised u like danganronpa OMG #i actually wanted to be kyoko so bad #if i look back at it rantaro is actually so fine #ofc i watched danganronpa by kubz scouts so!!

[chocsra]

help there's gonna be a skol talent show and idk what i wanna sing like i wanna sing meant to be yours female ver, and i could do dead girl walking but like I don't have a male vocal + the song itself is...

except when i was singing meant to be urs my mom told me i suit smth more gentle like laufey BUT I CAN SCREAMMMM MANN😕😕😕

#chocsra #school talent show #heathers the musical!! #my current fixation that ressurected from 2021 #guys i can be female jd i swear #ava yap sessions #sorry i didn't post smth came up 💔

[chocsra]

Something that always makes me smile

#so real

[chocsra]

How'd you choose your user?

when i was really into genshin, i didnt get raiden so i was stuck wit c6 sara

i ended up cherishing that woman, so i made my tumblr user a shortened version of "chocolatesara" bc those were the two most random things i liked AHAHHAH

so when i read my username i read it as "chalk-sara" STOPSWN

thank u sm for asking tho !!

#chocsra #omg q&a era #chocolatesara #kujou sara was the loml #besides raiden ofc #shes underatted like shes really pretty #my top genshin characters back then were like raiden kazuha and idk sara? #i dont play anymore but navia is SOOO cool #actually i like all the fatui women #and canon tartaglia is rly cool (idk why he was turned into an fboy) #like tartaglias main trait is loyalty #he wouldnt be a cheater just has more than a few screws loose #im neglecting everything i need to do

[chocsra]

yall can someone help me continue this dazai fic writing him literally sends me into my grave 😕

#chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #dazai fluff #dazai oneshot #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n

[chocsra]

OMG U LIKE BES TOO?!?! 😍😍😍

mizu is so fine oh my god

YESYESYES ‼️‼️

i love revenge shit like blue eye samurai or kill bill, and like the kdrama my name and the glory oh my gawddd

it doesn't help that mizu is literally my man ✌️I WATCHED IT BACK IN DECEMBER THOOO

i wanna see her in her london fit tbh 🙏

#blue eye samurai #asks #chocsra #i loved the whole cast like ringo and akemi and mizu? the cuties (kind of) #taigan wasn't my fav but he got character development ngl #episode 5 or 6 (idk the ronin and the bride) was my absolute favourite episode ever shes actually tragic man #her husband fumbled #the cinematography #music animation like everything is a mwah

[chocsra]

Omg u came from that one Chuuya fic, and your writing is completely amazing?! <33

EYES WIDENED IN SHOCK.

HIHIHHIHIIHI UR WRITING IS ALSO SO YUMMYYY 🫶🫶

wait i genuinely feel so honoured that u describe one of my works as 'that one chuuya fic' BUT WHICH ONE?? EHEHWHWWHH THANK YOU SO MUCH 😼😼

also u followed me so prepared to be my mutual !!!

#chocsra #TODAYS MY LUCKY MONTH AINT IT #WOAHSIES???? #i made the most aesthetic dazai fic header for my brain to fart when im actually writing #send helpppp😔😔

[chocsra]

WHAT FANDOMS ARE U IN OTHER THAN CSM OR BSD mine is yttd btw :3

OMG YAYAY IM GLAD U ASKED THIS QUESTION <3

I USED TO PLAY YTTDDDDDDD OMG

honestly when i like a certain fandom its like the only thing i like for like a year BUTTT I HAD A LOT OF OTHER FANDOMS I USED TO BE INTO. im a bsd centric fan, i also like csm bc of the writing of kobeni & asa (BEFORE IT GOT TIKTOKIFIED :() BUT ANYWAYS

used to be into:

danganronpa (please stop)

genshin (sometimes i still play it, not into it tho - i was obsessed w the raiden shogun, I STILL HAVE A COSPLAY OF HER STOP)

viral hit/how to fight (webtoon about a broke guy fighting ppl for money, it was pretty good - i also only read for taehoon and gyeoul)

alice in borderland (the fandom i was in before i got into bsd, loved chishiya & kuina)

other old media i wasnt obsessed wit and still enjoy: attack on titan, saiki k, persona 5, heathers, hamilton, the walking dead game & resident evil

yandere simulator (i dont support the creator neither do i play anymore)

fandoms im into rn??? or media i enjoy:

atla

kpop except im not in the fandom & will prolly get called basic

bsd

jjk? kinda

csm

bes (blue eye samurai)

makeup & skincare (igari, 2000s asian makeup & uzzlang)

GIRL FROM NOWHEREEEE I WILL NEVER SHUT UP

i did NOT need to write allat but now you know!! im not in a lot of fandoms so i apologize 🙏

#chocsra #asks answered #my fandoms #bsd #csm #bes #jjk #genshin

[chocsra]

yall heres the real question..

since a pt2 to stormbringer chuuya bestie hcs (PT 1 HERE!!) was requested, i wanted to know if yall wanted more hcs , a oneshot solely ab friendship, OR.. perhaps a fake dating wit ur bestie sb! chuuya but yall are SO unserious about it

reader: "nah back off, that's my man. he's 5'2 and not afraid to whoop ur candy ass 🙄"

chuuya: looking around the room holding in a cackle and the urge to yell "STFU 🙏🙏🙏"

-> this is just my stormbringer chuuya thoughts btw! I'm stuck writing a pm! dazai oneshot, wanna do a soft! chuuya w sensitive reader, and teaching 15! chuuya how to dance similar to enola & Tewksbury eheheh😼😼 (going back to my fifteen chuuya roots)

#chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #15 chuuya #sb chuuya #chuuya stormbringer #bsd stormbringer #chuuya thoughts

[chocsra]

✧ my mutuals!!

@tsuunara @silverbladexyz @tomiroro @cherylpoptarts @nomnomventi @soleelia @loserzai @sstarshroom @atlasnessie @ravencincaide @ezzyrainrunaway @gettinshiggywithit @sosograndii @illuminha @jackofanon @bananasquash @chiara-hotel @dazaisfavgf @yuiiasathesilly @loserzai @avocate-assia-dazai @glitch-karma @kyloqvsss @jellychuus @chiquititaosita @blueberrisdove @rusmii

#my mutuals<3 #chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #my moots #moots<3

[chocsra]

hii lovely !! ur theme is so pretty, and i wanted to pop in and personally thank you for liking my works lol 🩷 i see you in my activity box every now and then and swear i’m gonna say hi, but i always forget to :( so here i am now thanking u <3<3!

ps. ur chuuya fics are so good BBRR🤍

GUYS....

GUYS????????

(you have amazing fluff dont mind the other posts i liked tho...)

first of all thank you so much! ur theme and blog and stuff is so pretty and like the theme of ur posts too <3 BUT HIIIIIIII??????? I LOVE THE BSD SIDE OF TUMBLR SO IM ACC SHOCKED AB THIS. DOING BACKFLIPS. but yea ur works are amazing! thank u sm girl :)

#chocsra #YO WHAT #holy shit #your content is already so yum but ur fluff is sauuuurrrr cute :) #THE CHURURUAI???? #GUYSGUSYGUSYGUSY #RUSMII??????

[chocsra]

Ur sb!chuuya ff was amazing. I love you sm can't believe I'm getting more chuuya content <3333

I LOVE UR DRAWINGS HDWHDWHH OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE SO REAL AND LIKE IDK HOW UR FRIENDS CALL U DRY

thank u sm tho! going from an avid 15! chuuya writer to avid sb! chuuya writer is so real..

GONNA BIRTH MORE SB CHUUYA CONTENT SOON TRUST

#chocsra #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #sb chuuya #16 chuuya #16 chuuya x reader #stormbringer bsd