countingsheepsys

[countingsheepsys]

Is it weird that running to plural stuff online without being prepared for it can cause a serious spike in anxiety? Like it can be a straight up trigger if I am not mentally prepared. I don't know why.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #endosafe #pluralgang #pro endo #plural

[countingsheepsys]

The other day my friend switched who was fronting and I didn't notice. I didn't take it so well because at the time I'd made a joke where I left the call and joined back, but I had thought he took the joke poorly because the person who switched in is much more distant than him. I had gotten a bit sad and upset at myself due to this and now I feel dumb for not noticing the switch, is there anything I can do to better notice him switching? I want to help him the best I can but I'm worried that I'll mess something up and make things worse.

I'm not plural myself but I want to be there for him and help him figure everything out the best I can.

[countingsheepsys]

baa meow woof baa

#unintelligible goblin noises #im silly

[countingsheepsys]

Impostor syndrome during a mental health episode is rough. Like. Am I actually experiencing these things or is my brain tricking me into thinking I am experiencing these things? I know the best thing to do is just wait it out and not to make any assumptions based on things right now when things are rough but ugh.

6 months of blurriness and repression to suddenly less blurriness during an episode is weird stuff.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural #imposter syndrome

[countingsheepsys]

This clearly isn't talked about enough since I thought I was the only one with these issues. I had no idea that PMDD can influence systems this way. Are there any other disorders that also do this? How do most disorders influence systems?

I wish there was more resources that I could use to help get through PMDD and how it affects the system.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #endosafe #pluralgang #pro endo #plural #tw reddit

[countingsheepsys]

So I was diagnosed with PMDD which seems to be the cause of things but I have no idea how this managed to affect me this way. I am working with an doctor to hopefully stop these symptoms. Afterwards, I will try to work through things with the system possibly. Though my impostor syndrome is strong at this point and my doubt is high if I am plural once again.

Will return eventually.

I know our posts are dwindling. But it is due to the fact that we are still stuck in a blurry/blendy state. I just never know what to post since there hasn't been anything going on. Along with that imposter syndrome that maybe I just been making this all up in my head.

I don't know.

All of this started when we struggled with a sudden hormone imbalance. Our face suddenly broke out with acne, we were suddenly put in a constant daze, and we suffered harsh mood-swings. The acne and mood-swings have died down a bit but the daze is still there. Trying to figure out who I am and who is there is like reaching into darkness and grabbing at nothing.

I've tried to follow all the advice people have given us for trying to trigger out others or trying to find traits of members to see who is here but I just can't figure it out.

It just feels so quiet like this and it is unnerving. I wish I knew how to break this spell. Most likely, this will be the last post until we can finally break out of this funk.

We are still open to advice and will very much appreciate anything at this point.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural #blurry

[countingsheepsys]

Not dead btw !!

Just still have been struggling after everything unfortunately. Been avoiding plural/system stuff in order to try to cope but that might not be healthy.

Still figuring out what to do.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #system things

[countingsheepsys]

hey!! i also get super blurry during/after health problems. in fact, i'm starting to break through one of these episodes just recently. we're still too blended to know who's front most of the time, but we're getting better. i don't know if this same technique will help you, but here's what i ended up doing!

so, first, try not track or even think about 'who's front'. if you're using SP or PK or something, turn off and/or don't use that function. accept you won't know who is fronting for a while. even if there is an obvious front, don't mark it "officially" for a while - you can write it down, but overall you want to stop focusing on the question in general.

instead, focus on other signs and feelings of your plurality. depending on what you know about your headmates, that might be engaging in media or interests they like, making them in dollmakers, looking at pride things they relate to, etc. watch to see how you respond, if you feel any response - and i do mean any response, including vague feelings of "John would like this". when you get a notable response, write it down - don't think too hard about it, just write down something like "felt John around lunch when we heard his favorite song".

don't force it! it might take a while to see results. the secret here is to convince everyone inside that it's safe to be themselves whenever they're ready. take a gentle, patient, and accepting approach. remember you're all in this together. there's no way to be a system. even the blended state you're in now isn't wrong or bad - it's scary and frustrating, but it's just another way your system has tried to protect itself. no matter how long it takes, your feelings will always be real.

i wish you the best!!! - 🌙

Actually tearing up. /pos

I appreciate all of this. From the advice to the encouraging words. It also really helps to hear that it isn't just an us thing and others have had similar experiences. I will do my best to keep all of this in mind. I really hope we can pull through this soon but like you said I will do my best to avoid forcing it.

Thank you so much. /gen /pos

[countingsheepsys]

I know our posts are dwindling. But it is due to the fact that we are still stuck in a blurry/blendy state. I just never know what to post since there hasn't been anything going on. Along with that imposter syndrome that maybe I just been making this all up in my head.

I don't know.

All of this started when we struggled with a sudden hormone imbalance. Our face suddenly broke out with acne, we were suddenly put in a constant daze, and we suffered harsh mood-swings. The acne and mood-swings have died down a bit but the daze is still there. Trying to figure out who I am and who is there is like reaching into darkness and grabbing at nothing.

I've tried to follow all the advice people have given us for trying to trigger out others or trying to find traits of members to see who is here but I just can't figure it out.

It just feels so quiet like this and it is unnerving. I wish I knew how to break this spell. Most likely, this will be the last post until we can finally break out of this funk.

We are still open to advice and will very much appreciate anything at this point.

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural #blurry #blendy

[countingsheepsys]

I wanna make funny plural posts but I have no ideas since we are still blurry/blended. wah

#plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural

[countingsheepsys]

I really appreciate tone indicators so much at times. I don't need them but I love how they simplify things. /gen

#tone indicators

[countingsheepsys]

Had a dream last night about making a poll on here. Was going to recreate it but realized it might not be very tasteful so I am going to scrap it.

Weird to have dreams like that though.

[countingsheepsys]

Still blurry. We feel so blended together as well. I don't know what to do to fix it. Someone suggested we try to trigger out members of the system but the problem is that we don't know the triggers of members yet.

We act like Luci mainly which is for the best anyways but we don't feel completely like Luci. We don't identity as Luci.

I don't know what to do. Please give us advice because this has been going on for almost a month at this point.

#tw vent #plurality #endo safe #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural #blurry

[countingsheepsys]

Trick or treat!!!

Trick.

*Pulls out a massive bug net*

[countingsheepsys]

Still blurry even though it has been over 3 weeks.

Imposter syndrome is starting to drop in lol /neg

#endo safe #plurality #plural community #plural system #actually plural #pluralgang #endosafe #pro endo #plural #imposter syndrome

[countingsheepsys]

Trick or Treat! get sillied

wowowowowowowow :D

You (all) get many treats.

[countingsheepsys]

i wanna be a pumpkin creature cuz pumpkins are cool

#pumpkin