curiousresearch22

[curiousresearch22]

Suggestion:

•If someone like myself has a tendency to get quiet at times and let’s you know that it has nothing to do with you. Don’t take that shit personal and make a decision to leave or hangout because your presence might be helping lower the volume in their head. If you still feel like the need to take that persons internal struggle with themselves as an issue with you personally leaving is probably gonna be your best bet. I mean I know when I am a miserable fuck to be around and I appreciate it when someone stick around but leaving is completely acceptable and understandable.

“Forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

— Unknown

#personal

[curiousresearch22]

Have you had your coffee this morning?

#coffee #girls who slam #slam meth #dopamine #slamming sex #guys who slam

[curiousresearch22]

“To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy.”

— Unknown

#depression and anxiety #love #personal #relationship quotes

[curiousresearch22]

[curiousresearch22]

Feeling this one 26,971 hours later.

“once you felt the rush after you shoot up, you will never forget it and you will never be the same. it really doesn’t matter how long you’ve been sober. and even though sobriety is beautiful, nothing will ever compare to the feeling you once had. you might deny it. eventually, you might even believe it. you might try not to think about it, you might try to forget, but you will always remember it. usually you will hate to remember it, but sometimes you will love it. you will dream of it. that’s the price every addict pays, it’s a curse every addict lives with for the rest of their days and the worst, the saddest and the most painful part of it is that sometimes, just sometimes you will wish you could feel it once again, without falling right back to active addiction… but you can’t.”

- 260 hours of sobriety

[curiousresearch22]

“I was like a patient who cannot tell the doctor where it hurts, only that it does.”

— Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed (via thebookquotes)

[curiousresearch22]

“Don’t do any task in order to get it over with. Resolve to do each job in a relaxed way, with all your attention. Enjoy and be one with your work.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

[curiousresearch22]

I have my first psychiatrist appointment tomorrow at 36 years old. I had no problem self medicating for 26 years and then I get sober and all of the sudden I am too proud to admit that I may need some extra help? Maybe it is the fear of the doctor not being able to help me? What will I do then? Will I give up and return to the solution that took away my pain but was making me more and more delusional every day? Does it matter? Do I matter? Do I even exist? I think therefore I am? I am therefore I think? Why does euphoria come with such a high price? It should be free damn it! Like health care, water, and the air pump at the gas station! Wait a minute, that shit isn’t free either. It’s all fucked.

#depression and anxiety #shooting meth #methamphetamine #slam meth #iv meth #sobriety #sober thoughts

[curiousresearch22]

The irony about the nicest of people is that, they can be the meanest of people once you cross the limit.

Source via: https://thinkpozitiv.tumblr.com/

[curiousresearch22]

#NationalPumpkinDay!

Before you get carving, here's why pumpkins are orange, the compounds behind their vegetal smell, and more in @cenmag

©️📑 https://t.co/rvukIf4mYz

©️🐦https://t.co/hFPMtRxi5S

©️compoundchem

[curiousresearch22]

Lately it has been comforting knowing that If it gets really bad that rush isn’t far away. I can choose to light a match and disappear into the darkness as the world I am in now burns to the ground. No more stress, no more expectations, no more light, just darkness and the escape of euphoria as the dopamine floods my brain.

#slam meth #shooting meth #methamphetamine #meth addict #methmerized

[curiousresearch22]

requested by natarisaru

[curiousresearch22]

Some nights I miss your touch. You felt so good it scared me and I knew I wouldn’t want to let you go. I had many lovers before but you were different. Every cell in my body was consumed with desire that couldn’t be contained. You were never jealous cause you knew just one whisper and I would leave them all for you without a thought. I still hear you, I still feel you, and I know you are waiting to comfort me if it is ever too much. I also know that your love comes with a price and the better you make me feel the more that I owe and the more I owe the deeper I go. Into the darkness void of light. The nightmares are real but I am awake and I can’t seem to fight the demons lurking in the shadows anymore. Why does this feel like home? Don’t fall asleep I tell myself you know what is waiting for you and she will be gone when you wake up. You won’t survive without her don’t fall asleep keep going keep going. Eyes are heavy can’t stay awake. She’s gone but her friends are here and they will help me find her. Depression, Guilt, and Shame do their job and send me on the frantic mission to find their friend, my love, my Mistress Tina. She bites me and I feel her power coursing through my veins the rest of them fade away and once again I am one happy slave consumed by the power of my Mistress Tina begging for more.

#slam meth #junkie #sober thoughts #im fucked