discoveringsandra

[discoveringsandra]

Warning for cis men: if a trans woman invites you to play dungeons and dragons do NOT accept. She is attempting to induct you into her coven, and likely infect you with cooties

[discoveringsandra]

so i've been reading the Spider-Gwen comics cause I have terminal brain worms now and like. she's been trans coded since before atsv (which i know isn't original to point out but it's fun to see). anyways, here's one of my favorite moments i've come across so far while reading

spoilers for Spider-Gwen [II] #3 (2016)

this conversation Gwen has with Jessica Drew fucks me up so bad. like the way Gwen prefaces her question and describes herself as strange and a weirdo is SOOO. and then she asks about the other Gwen Stacy and what she was like, and it reads like she's asking about what her life would be like if she was cis. and it gets couched in the language of "normal" and not, which is absolutely a trap i fall into sometimes. and then Jess says something that made me cry.

"Look, I get it. I understand dreaming of a simpler life... But, trust me. The hard times, the times when you're unsure, those are just how you figure out who you are. What your life means. Focus on today. Be the best Gwen Stacy that you can be. Right here, right now."

and when you read those words as a statement about gender and transness they hit so much harder. cause in my experience, when i'm unsure i usually find a new part of myself that i didn't know existed. it's never easy and it's almost always a little scary, but i come out the other end more sure of who i want to be and where i'm heading. Gwen needs to stop worrying about what could've been and start thinking about who she is. not other Gwens, but her specifically

[discoveringsandra]

[discoveringsandra]

[discoveringsandra]

i love your consistency ♥️🏳️‍⚧️

Thank you!

[discoveringsandra]

Journal entry #42

Hello! It's been a long time since I last wrote here. Almost a year. In this time I've gone to therapy, gained the will to keep looking for a stable job and, most importantly, I told my parents I am non-binary. I'm proud of this, it was hard, but their reaction was mostly positive, even if they didn't fully understand.

However, I'm still afraid of presenting femme when they are around or when going out. I'm also afraid of contacting the service that provides trans health care in my region. My therapist said I have a tendency to avoid stressful situations.

I've gone back to using Faceapp filters and similar apps. I know now this is a coping mechanism for me and that it can't and won't end my dysphoria. It just sucks having this strong desire for change and, at the same time, an irrational fear of change. That's why I have to cope.

The worst part is that the part of my mind that's irrationally afraid is looking for every excuse I can find not to be brave. I find myself overanalysing the behaviour of the people I'm out to, seeing malice where there's just confusions over feelings I don't dare to express. I don't want to be this resentful to the people I love.

But this isn't just a rant about how bad things are for me or how bad I'm feeling about my current situation. I'm writing this to convince myself of doing the things I need to do so I don't end up bitter, self-loathing and self-pitying, and basically depressed.

There's two things I need to do right now, with no specific order:

Contact the trans health care service. I can start with an email and see what info I can get and how I can proceed next.

Talk more clearly about the gender expression I want with my family. This can be a whole conversation or just me walking in a skirt and being like "I wear this now"; sometimes and image is indeed worth a thousand words. They'll probably need a lesson on grammatical gender, though.

One thing I need to remind myself is that, although I can't explain everything I'm going through from a rational level (and, technically, inside the cultural framework of a patriarchal society) I need to do this. This should work both for me and for everyone who comes up with doubts. The tricky thing about explaining it to others will be being assertive without sounding aggressive. My familly isn't so politicised that I can suspect their doubts come from transphobic "legitimate concerns" arguments, but I'm also afraid that, if I express myself with some insecurity (as it can happen when opening up about feelings you've kept hidden) they may think that I'm unsure about what I need, instead of being unsure of how to tell them. I mean, I kind of am unsure of what I need, but that's because I'm not allowing myself to discover it.

Okay, I need to add a third thing that I need to do right now:

3. Stop worrying about how people might feel over me being myself, even my loved ones. I need to stop thinking that I can't do this or that because of presumed bad reactions.

Like coming out, there's things that will never not be shocking for some people, and I need to accept that; or even embrace it. Otherwise, I'll keep just living afraid.

#journal #entry #42 #journal entry #transgender #trans #non binary #nonbinary #trans femme #life stuff #coming out #faceapp

[discoveringsandra]

based

[discoveringsandra]

[discoveringsandra]

every trans girl's first outfit should be free

[discoveringsandra]

“having sex is not all there is to lgbtq+ people and our identities. we aren’t inherently any more sexual than cishets and asexuals also exist” and “having sex is one of the most demonised parts of our community and it should not be so much of a taboo” are two concepts that can and should co-exist

[discoveringsandra]

seeing cis women get called men by transphobes, seeing men on that "take her swimming on the first date" shit, seeing people think celebrities aren't wearing make up if they don't have red lipstick, all of that shit really black-pilled me to the idea of passing. like nobody knows what women actually look like not even cis people

[discoveringsandra]

thinking about how trans women are just like. all so fucking Cool. literally every single trans women ive ever been friends with or met are just absolutely insane, which i mean fully positively. i have yet to meet a trans women who didn't have the wildest absolutely cool as hell hobbies, wasn't SO funny, and in general wasn't just. so fucking Cool

every time i talk to a trans women they're like "yeah one time i got a ride back home from a show by kimya dawson" "i help organize a yearly leftist gathering where we run around naked in the woods and vibes for a week" "i run a house show place in Philly and am on first name basis with tons of musicians" or some shit like that. the other day someone i went to high school with streamed with pat polygon & the girl who made bloodborne psx & is filled by chelsea manning on twitter

we're all just SO fucking cool and interesting and hot and truly every new trans woman i meet adds so much more Life to the world

[discoveringsandra]

Bohemian Rhapsody. We Will Rock You. Somebody To Love. All hit singles, and all the direct product of a band that was formed when an astrophysicist and a dentistry major found a new friend in an art college, who then went on to recruit a fourth member from the electronics school. Based on this alliance I propose the rift in society between Arts and STEM students was fabricated to keep us separated so as to dilute our true power - and fabricated by who, you may ask? The business major, the only member of society who reaps no reward from art and science and thus must weaken us so as to stay ahead. In this essay I will

[discoveringsandra]

the seven deadly sins of gender:

gender lust - i wanna be you so bad i want to fuck you

gender gluttony - i used too much gender at once. i overindulged in the gender

gender pride - i love my gender. my gender is the best gender. no other gender even compares

gender sloth - i'm too lazy to have gender right now. there is no gender

gender wrath - your gender makes me so fucking angry. i hate it. i want to destroy your gender

gender greed - i want all the gender. all of it

gender envy - i want your gender. i am jealous of your gender

[discoveringsandra]

Reblog to give a trans girl a really cool sword

[discoveringsandra]

Seguir leyendo

[discoveringsandra]

What if there was like a Sumerian version of Moon Knight with goddess Innana who became female when activating her powers? We could call her Venus Knight, and she wouldn't have different personalities, just a male secret identity

#moon knight #transgender #innana #Queer #She's the goddess of justice war love and fertility so Venus Knight would be busy