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Remember this joke?

Well, I am going to do something similar only with photography. This is a photo someone took for an Amazon review of their Clinique products.

Honestly, it is not a terrible photo. They did some staging. They have an interesting background. All of the labels are legible. It is properly exposed. This would be a perfectly acceptable product photo for an Etsy page.

I've been taking these advanced photography courses in preparation for whenever I am able to create a new studio in the house. And my teacher is a photography badass. I just watched a 6 hour class on how to recreate a professional Clinique ad. And at first glance it looks deceptively simple. It's just some skin care products being splashed with a little water.

Which is why I wanted you to see an average person for reference.

This is what Karl Taylor came up with.

And I don't think I've learned so much about photography in one tutorial before.

Product photography is just loads and loads of problem solving. You have to light the chrome caps with a gradient. Which requires giant diffusion scrims.

Those big white panels are literally only there for the two chrome caps.

You need a pure white background, but you can't let light spill all over the studio, so you put up giant black light blockers.

And you have to add another light just for the orange bottle on the right.

Oh, and if you want the bottles to glow, well, you have to hide a silver reflector behind them.

But you still want the edges of the bottles to be darker so they have some contrast. So you add some black tape to the sides.

And in order for the reflective labels to have bold black lettering, you have to reflect black cards into them.

Ack! Karl's beautiful bald head is showing up in the chrome caps! He must put on the naughty blanket.

And once you get every aspect of every bottle perfectly lit, you finally get to yeet some water at it all.

I don't love product photography because I have a weird obsession to help greedy corporations make their wares look more beautiful. I love it because it is a complicated and challenging new puzzle every time. Every product is a different shape and requires a different technique to make it look its best.

I don't know if I will be able to live up to Karl's standards.

This is about the level I was at in 2017 before I quit photography.

I have so much more knowledge in my brain now. I'm really hoping I can surpass that.

#this is cool! #photography

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compelled yesterday to make a zine about a lifetime of being a contrarian little shit sketched left-handed and inked right (ow)

#my bf would love this

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Masterpost

#obsessed #like the sofa in hitchiker's guide to the galaxy that arthur chases onto a cricket match

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SO UM!

#HAHAHAHAHAHAH GUYS #i had an experience last night #(i did a drug that is hard to find #not addictive and instead typically used for spiritual purposes #and that several of my exes have always wanted to try) #and i feel great today #it didn't magically resolve any emotional issues for me or anything #but i feel like. actually happy #and relaxed #and that feels great! like i can just go about doing what i want #it feels like i released my anxiety's grasp on my mind #and sort of let it go. it's still there but now it doesn't feel like it's controlling me #idk we'll see as the day goes on!! #just wanted to share #hope everyone is doing well <3

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going to the grocery store is the most fun a girl can have without staying in her bed drenching in her own loneliness and thinking about what could've been

#i live right across from one and lemme tell you: it's my happy place

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good read for teachers.

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still thinking about him and my stomach hurts

#i hate being a person #i hate being alive #i hate being who i am #i hate all of this #i wish i had never met him

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let him reap what he's sown

#sorry more tag venting #but like MY GOD it's so annoying that he gets frustrated that i'm not a perfect person #and it devolves into literally ignoring me but also claiming i can talk to him whenever i want #like fuck you fuck you fuck you. you don't even care about me or our relationship #we've been together over two years and you don't even CARE?! at ALL?! to resolve ANYTHING?! #you just want to yell at me and get your way #fuck off fuck off fuck off a million times over #i don't know why i wasted all my time caring about you when you told me over and over again i don't matter to yoy #news flash: that is NOT how you treat your girlfriend!!! of all people!!! #i fucking care about you!!! i make you dinner and listen to you rant about your day!!! i support you with everything you do!!! #and you're mad because i said I WAS GOING YO MISS YOU? WHEN YOURE GOING ON A TRIP? THATS GUILT TRIPPINGv #?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? #i don't understand. i feel like it's normal to tell someone you'll miss them when they're going away #it's not bitching and moaning you ass it's called just fucking telling you my feelings #it's not guilt tripping!!! i am not guilt tripping you by saying ONE TIME that i'm going to miss you #UGH. get the fuck out of the relationship if you're not going to give a shit about me at all #i have no way to leave right now so i'm stuck but you!! can fucking!! go!! #so GO AWAY if you don't like me!!! leave me!!! i don't fucking care at this point #god. i don't ever want to be in a relationship after this #i don't ever want to deal with another human being ever again #and less important: i fucking have to shit and he's on the toilet rn. #i'm giving up i think #i have no faith in him or this relationship at all #if he's not going to put any effort in i'm not either #it can peter out and die now. there's nothing left #i feel like shit about it but hey! he's the one who brought us to this point #he's the reason we aren't speaking #so whatever #let him reap what he's sown

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It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

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i don't feel okay but that doesn't mean i'm not going to be okay

#just because right now my stomach is in shambles doesn't mean this is going to last forever! #i will get out #i will leave #i've been in this situation before and i survived #so i can absolutely do it again #and i WILL come out STRONGER on the other side #i mean fuck the fact that my self-esteem is still intact after my BOYFRIEND told me i'm a FAILURE? good for me! #i will get past this <3333 #i can get past this <3333333

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.

#will be breaking up with my boyfriend soon because this situation is straight-up untenable #and then i guess i'll be moving! #i feel so weird and unhappy but ultimately i think i'll be happier alone #working on myself alone #working on my life alone #because he is just. not conducive to any of it #he rightfully pointed out that i have flaws i need to fix but he also #goes on screaming tirades and ignores me for days #so i feel like ultimately i am justified in leaving. #i know i have issues and i need to work on them and I AM! #if that isn't enough for him that's okay #but it's not okay to oscillate between screaming at me and giving me the silent treatment #i mean my god. #this is not a relationship. #this is me letting myself get berated #and then disrespected #and tbf i've allowed this behavior for two years so he is not entirely to blame #i have had many chances to leave and i've always discarded them because i thought we could work it out #but yeah i've reached the point where i don't think it's work-out-able #i mean he straight up told me our relationship is not important to him and that i'm not important to him #i don't understand how that could possibly be a GOOD thing in a relationship #and i'm honestly a little saddened that i let myself think that was okay for so long #i may have flaws but i'm not abusive or manipulative. i'm just lazy #but i take care of my responsibilities too. #so ultimately i'm just not okay #i'm not okay with any of this and i'm finally okay saying that #it doesn't make him or i bad people #it means we're not compatible and probably haven't been for a long time #i am unhappy here #he is unhappy here

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I just found yours nhl imagines and they're perfect ! I especially love the Brock Boeser's, do you still write imagine ? Nhl imagines?

haha thank you so much! this is really sweet, i knew people still read my nhl fics but didn't know some people still wished i wrote lol. for a multitude of reasons (which all basically boil down to 'life stuff') i don't write NHL imagines/fic anymore. i'm sorry :( but i'm happy to rec other writers as well, if you're interested!

#anon #this was really sweet thank you anon :)

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you know how it is

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reading a post on r/baking where people (read: americans) are debating over whether or not a "sweet biscuit" is a thing, or if that's just a scone

#i am HERE for the creation of the sweet biscuit #in the post in question it seems to be a soft moist & sweet dough with blueberries throughout. it was clearly baked in a square baking pan #so there is a third faction of people replying to the other commenters (sweet biscuits vs scones) that this is just a cake #but the OP (the baker of the item's partner) is very insistent that it is NOT a cake #good fun! #i think this stuff is funny because in my experience as a midwesterner i literally can't imagine a sweet biscuit. #when i think biscuit i think savory breakfast item used for an egg sammy. the pillsbury cans of flaky layers biscuits have always been myfa #so i think that's why some of the other americans are like that's just a scone. even though scones have a totally different texture #imo it doesn't count as a cake either (recipe specifically calls them biscuits; op claims it has a distinct biscuit-like texture) #sweet biscuit supremacy

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posting is a trauma response to thinking

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Frank Stella Portrait of Jill as the Very Exquisite and Dangerous Black Diamond 1959 Graphite on paper

#idk the context but this is so romantic #< agreed #i like this a lot