enticing-aphrodisiac

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

Mixed Signals by Victor Ivanovski

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I hope you’re happy.

I really do. I hope I gave you everything I could.

I hope you wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for me on the other side only to find that I am not there.

I hope you pass by a sunflower shop, and are reminded of my scent everywhere.

I hope you spot a woman, with hair as long as mine, and for a second your heart stops because you could have sworn it was mine.

I hope you stumble upon a gallery, and every form and every color on the wall reminds you of my hands, drawing on a notebook that September Fall

I hope you love again. And I hope you love her hard. And I hope I gave you lessons, that will take you very far.

And I hope you’ll be better.

And love her better too.

For I hope I gave you everything I could.

I really do.

- I hope you’re happy

#june 2020 #poetry #enticing-aphrodisiac #words

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I wonder why as women

We compare ourselves to others

To the point of self destruction.

Why does his love for her

Diminish the one for me

Why does his judgment

Dictate my appetite for the day

Why can’t I shake off the feeling

That I am only as good as the traits that are most similar to hers.

Why do we tear each other down

When he chooses her time over time again.

She owes me no trust,

He owed me all of it.

And yet, she’s the villain of the story in my head

Because it’s easier to construct

Than to admit

He’s the true criminal

- do not blame her for his mistakes

#may 2020 #enticing-aphrodisiac #words #poetry

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I do not want to be an object of your pleasure anymore.

I hate that you can perfectly recite the time it take for your fingers to travel along my spine, but forget when it’s my birthday.

I hate that you sink yourself into me for comfort, but stay away when I reach my arms out for safety.

I hate that you’ve memorized the way my skin feels pressed on your chest, but can’t recall the beats of my heart when I first told you I loved you.

And I hate that I said that.

And I hate that you didn’t.

- I don’t want to do this anymore

#may 2020 #enticing-aphrodisiac #words #poetry

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I need you to tell me

How is it possible

For you to know the deepest parts

of my soul

To have swam in my abyss of sadness

To have known how powerful your hands in my hair can be

Just as much as your stare at a red light

Can weaken me

Or your laughter on a Saturday night

Or your cheek pressed into my thigh

Or your tears on my shoulder at midnight

Only to ignore my presence

In a crowded room

When she’s around

- the after party

#enticing-aphrodisiac #poetry #words #gem #march 2020

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I wonder how beautiful it must be

To be seen for all that you are.

Did he notice my eyes?

The way my hands shake when he’s near?

Did he think I was kind?

Or love the soft sound of my moans in his ear?

I wonder if he knows

How much my thoughts echo his name

But I think it’d be worst to know

He will never feel the same

- first love

#february 2020 #gem

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

he presses his hips into mine

And in that moment I realize

that is how close I’ll ever get to him

- I lied when I said I didn’t care

#january 2020 #gem

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

It’s hard for me to vocalize my feelings but it’s even harder for me to find someone I connect with as much as you, and I’m not sure if the pictures I’ve drawn in my head are the same ones that are reflected in your heart, but holy fuck I’ve never wanted a finished masterpiece until I met you, and at a different time maybe our worlds could have collided and we could have been something beautiful, but now all I’m left with is the shattered fragmented colors of what could have been and the confirmation that you feel the same way I do

I should be writing a research paper but all I’m searching for are your answers (via letsaimtoplease)

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

Drip   drip     drip I press my forehead against the cold tile of the shower, the water pours down my hair and back before violently hitting the tub. I am still I am warm and I am exposed, I twirl a strand of soaking wet hair around my fingers. “ Think     think       think      don’t   don’t don’t “ I lift up my chin to meet the shower head and I’m hit by the stream of the water. Eyes closed World out I feel my ears buzzing I am still I am warm and I am empty I reach my hand around my naked body, only to slowly trace the shape of my ribcage, then up to my collarbones. Something so simple, yet so empowering. I feel in control I feel satisfied I feel thin I feel human

g.e.m

#thoughts #words #poetry #december #bones #human

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

Lengthen the night Shorten the day Fall leaves fall But fall in love? No. Let the flowers die away. I don’t want to But I want you, And for everything to make some fucking sense.

09/25/15

#enticing aphrodisiac #old #survive September #finds #words

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

"If you don't recognize my absence then my presence has no meaning"

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

•

I’m not good enough I’m not good I’m not I’m

#words #personal #Tw: depression #2015

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

For the longest time I thought I could do everything on my own. But right now, I need you more than ever.

#thoughts #personal

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

You were almost everything I needed. Almost.

[enticing-aphrodisiac]

I over think. That’s just what I do. Give me any topic in the world, I’ve probably thought about anything related to it a million times. But damn, I really did not think I was going to fall for you.

G.e.m

#words #thoughts #personal #enticing aphrodisiac