existentialcatholic

[existentialcatholic]

[existentialcatholic]

Can I be honest here? It’s one of those days where I’m fighting against lukewarm love for God. I don’t want lukewarm love. I want to be knee deep in scripture, loving every minute of it. I want messy scribbles in my Bible and my notebook I keep beside me during my studies. I want to talk to God every hour of every day. I want to cry with joy because I’m so filled with the holy spirit. Instead, I find myself crying because I’m somewhere in the middle of all this. I’m… lukewarm.  But I know I won’t stay this way, and I know I’m not alone. I think most of us go through times like these, where we doubt, and we grow afraid, and we grow anxious, and we grow bored.  Praying for any of you who may feel the same. May God set a fire in us that never fades.  Trusting in Him. After all, He’s got this.

[existentialcatholic]

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, friend! I hope it was a joyful day for you.

[existentialcatholic]

I feel like. Part of the reason we're seeing hot takes like "video games like Stardew Valley are bourgeoisie and you should feel bad for playing them" and "if any actor in a TV show even hints at supporting any part of Israel then we need to boycott that entire show" and stuff like that is.

Online activism does virtually nothing. It does virtually nothing, guys. You can reblog and repost stuff all day and it does nothing. And so there's this desperate need in people's minds to Do Something, but social media platforms have so thoroughly trapped us into the idea that This Is How You Connect With People, that we think blogging = activism.

But nothing we've reblogged thus far has made a significant difference in the world. So we keep reblogging, desperately, convinced that if we root out the real evil in our media consumption or if we pare down our beliefs to the One True Ideal and force everyone around us to share that ideal, then finally Something Will Change For The Better.

Log off. Go give blood; there's a critical shortage right now. Help someone in your community; it might not fix wars that are thousands of miles away but it'll help that person. Call or email your local representative about issues that matter to you. Fucking vote. Do something in the not-online space. It'll matter more than 100 posts in a row about Important Things.

[existentialcatholic]

Oh God, if I was ever the reason of someone's pain, please heal them and forgive me.

[existentialcatholic]

Things I wish I had read in "beginner" sewing tutorials/people had told me before I started getting into sewing

You have to hem *everything* eventually. Hemming isn't optional. (If you don't hem your cloth, it will start to fray. There are exceptions to this, like felt, but most cloth will.)

The type of cloth you choose for your project matters very much. Your clothing won't "fall right" if it's not the kind of stretchy/heavy/stiff as the one the tutorial assumes you will use.

Some types of cloth are very chill about fraying, some are very much not. Linen doesn't really give a fuck as long as you don't, like, throw it into the washing machine unhemmed (see below), whereas brocade yearns for entropy so, so much.

On that note: if you get new cloth: 1. hem its borders (or use a ripple stitch) 2. throw it in the washing machine on the setting that you plan to wash it going forward 3. iron it. You'll regret it, if you don't do it. If you don't hem, it'll thread. If you don't wash beforehand, the finished piece might warp in the first wash. If you don't iron it, it won't be nice and flat and all of your measuring and sewing will be off.

Sewing's first virtue is diligence, followed closely by patience. Measure three times before cutting. Check the symmetry every once in a while. If you can't concentrate anymore, stop. Yes, even if you're almost done.

The order in which you sew your garment's parts matters very much. Stick to the plan, but think ahead.

You'll probably be fine if you sew something on wrong - you can undo it with a seam ripper (get a seam ripper, they're cheap!)

You can use chalk to draw and write on the cloth.

Pick something made out of rectangles for your first project.

I recommend making something out of linen as a beginner project. It's nearly indestructible, barely threads and folds very neatly.

Collars are going to suck.

The sewing machine can't hurt you (probably). There is a guard for a reason and while the needle is very scary at first, if you do it right, your hands will be away from it at least 5 cm at any given time. Also the spoils of learning machine sewing are not to be underestimated. You will be SO fast.

I believe that's all - feel free to add unto it.

[existentialcatholic]

I remember I was in church for Easter a while ago and the pastor pointed out that the rending of the veil had another meaning, not just that the place only the high priest was allowed to go was now open for all. You know what mourners did in the Old Testament? Rended their clothing from top to bottom. The veil was ripped from top to bottom. So now not only do I recognize the veil being torn as the removal of a barrier between us and God--it was also a show of God mourning the death of His Son.

So powerful. Something I wish I had understood better when I was younger.

[existentialcatholic]

There’s power in telling yourself ”no we don’t do that anymore” in response to self destructive urges.

[existentialcatholic]

The first verse of What Child is This but over a painting of the Pieta

[existentialcatholic]

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[existentialcatholic]

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

[existentialcatholic]

People need to understand that for those who have gone through trauma experience things differently.

If you went through an abandonment as a child, a breakup others would get over with in months can take years to overcome.

If you went through domestic abuse, even small changes in a loved one's tone can make you anxious.

If you were belittled your whole childhood, being professionally critized at work can feel like the end of the world.

Trauma effects us for a long time after it occurs.

[existentialcatholic]

Hello brothers and sisters, as we get closer to the Easter Vigil, please pray for me. I'm going to be baptized, and the spiritual warfare has been so bad for me lately. I know - I need - to do this, and I really need prayers from my brothers and sisters in Christ's help. Thank you and God bless ♥️♥️♥️

[existentialcatholic]

As someone who’s experienced scrupulousity off & on (mostly off these days), here are a few reminders that have helped me:

God is not out to ‘get’ you. He’s not going to give you a scorpion when you asked for bread. He loves you. He’s on your side.

Rules are for us, not for God. He wants us to strive to know, love, and serve Him in all things, He wants us to be perfect, but if we stand before Him He’s not going to say ‘Sorry, your mind wandered in Mass 36 times on average, I’d love to let you in, but company policy :/ to Hell you go.’

The Holy Spirit prays on your behalf. That’s why He’s referred to as the advocate, while the devil’s the prosecutor. If the battle for your immortal soul is a courtroom drama, you’ve got the best lawyer on your side possible. The prayers you pray aren’t going to be judged for their grand words.

You’re not that big a deal. Seriously. You can’t do anything to change God’s plans, you can only choose whether or not you cooperate with them. God WANTS you to go to Heaven. Your job here on Earth is to go along with that. Damnation doesn’t come from failure, it comes from rejection of God’s plan. Peter betrayed Christ, realized his sin, repented, and became a saint. Judas betrayed Christ, realized his sin, rejected even the possibility of repentance, and was damned.

[existentialcatholic]

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

[existentialcatholic]

Please pray for me the coming few weeks. Along with recieving baptism and communion at Easter Vigil, I am appointed to carry the cross this Good Friday.

[existentialcatholic]

My Lent isn't going great. What began as my interpretation of a Lenten devotional practice has turned into doing all of my eating disorder behaviors again. And I'm really tired of it.

#catholic #mental health #catholicism #ed recovery #edrecovery #conversion #lent #trauma