ftm-radio

[ftm-radio]

[ftm-radio]

here’s to all the weird little girls growing up into even weirder men

[ftm-radio]

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

#ftm radio #peep below the cut for rambles about hrt developments! #⚠️ obligatory tmi warning but nothing too detailed! #transgender #trans #transsexual #trans masculine #ftm #trans man #trans guy #nonbinary #nonbinary trans man #nonbinary man #nonbinary guy #nonbinary trans guy #hrt #hormone replacement therapy #testosterone #ftm hrt #testosterone gel #testosterone update #bigender #bigender man #trans masc #transgender positivity #ftm positivity

[ftm-radio]

Expecting every trans woman to become a full fledged voice actor to have their gender respected is bad actually

[ftm-radio]

HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY!! to all my trans sisters, brothers, and siblings out there, you all deserve happiness, peace, and love 🩷🩵🤍🩵🩷

[ftm-radio]

ways to help trans youth in the uk-

donate to gendered intelligence, a trans led group that has several support groups for trans youth, groups specifically for trans poc, and works on advocacy

donate to mosaic trust, which is a club and safe space for trans youth

donate to transactual, a group focused on global trans rights and are based in the uk. they aren’t specifically focused on trans youth but a good organization to help nonetheless

and ofc the obligatory “i am not from the uk and if you are, please let me know what else we can be doing. as i do not live there this is based on what google has told me can help and i’ve platformed.”

[ftm-radio]

Hey, so one alternative to testosterone injections I don't see talked about nearly enough is pellets. I see a lot about topical testosterone, but it's not always super viable for a lot of us. I was on the patch for several months and I keep a small stock of patches in case I'm not able to get my pellets on time, but they always gave me horrific rashes and I sweat so much they usually fall off after a couple of hours. And the gel risks being transferred to pets and kids and such.

Pellets do involve needles, but you aren't going to see them. You're usually lying on your stomach while the doctor implants them in your ass or upper thigh. If you have a good doctor, they'll tell you what they're doing or have a distracting conversation depending on what you need.

And they're great if you're like me and remembering your meds is difficult. You go to the doctor once every three months, you then take it easy for a day or two so the incision can heal, and then you just get to forget about it until it's time for another dose. Because it's a steady slow release over the course of a few months, you don't really get peaks and slumps the way you would with other doses (unless you're on the wrong dose or timetable, but that's something you figure out with your doctor through blood tests and the like).

It's not just an alternative to injections, it's just super convenient. And depending on your health insurance, it may be cheaper than other methods too. (I'm on MassHealth, meaning all medications have a $3.75 copay. But because it's an in-office procedure I'm able to waive that copay and get my hormones for free, no questions asked.)

It's also super easy to microdose if that's what you want to do because of the fact that they're a bunch of small-dose pellets rather than a single implant. And there's no removal either - they just dissolve under your skin to release the testosterone.

I feel like more transmascs need to be aware of the multitude of HRT options available to us because we're constantly being told about injections and occasionally gel or patches and that's it.

#hrt #ftm hrt #hormone replacement therapy #testosterone hrt

[ftm-radio]

(April 12th 2024)

No medical confirmation or psychological evaluation necessary. The law will be active by the 1st of November this year.

First names can also be changed while changing gender. One all inclusive package with minimum effort.

#fuck yeah #<3

[ftm-radio]

hello!! so this is more of a question I have about an identity? I was wondering how exactly trans male lesbians worked, because like from what I know a lesbian is a non man loving a non man, im just confused lol

i do not mean this in a hateful way at all!!! im genuinely curious and want to understand better instead of assuming and saying smth harmful to somebody

i mean a lot of trans men have connections to the lesbian identity from having been. female to male. but a lot of us also feel like our attraction to women is queer or its the label that works best, ext. i consider my attraction to women heterosexual but yeah thats because i feel that its a straight thing rather than a gay thing.

and dont worry about asking! i’d rather you ask us than make assumptions lil

#<3

[ftm-radio]

I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

#jkr mention #jk rowling mention

[ftm-radio]

STOP. think about tmasc forearm hair. okay you can proceed.

#i mostly think about tmasc upper arm hair. bicep hair? idk #but my upper arms are hairy and i am delighted every time i see it #i *know* i didnt have visible hair there before so its more noticeable to me than any growth on my forearms lol #<3

[ftm-radio]

after having an entire hour long conversation with my coworkers about what "degendering" is, and the importance of using trans people's pronouns when you know them- rather than always defaulting to "they/them" no matter what- and still getting "they/them"ed by people I trusted not to fucking do that to me, I have decided that the name and pronouns circle of introductions for new additions to the group will now include the very clearly stated boundary that they do not use "they/them" pronouns for me.

your move, cowards!

[ftm-radio]

Every time I like or reblog a post, I leave a little bit of man residue on it

Every time I reply or add commentary to a reblog, that’s five times as much man residue

Me following your blog means your whole blog has man residue

I’m spreading it everywhere

[ftm-radio]

I have found the best ally

Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.

Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Sai?"

Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."

My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."

Random woman: "Excuse me?"

Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*

Me: *pissing myself laughing*

My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Sai, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."

Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."

#<3

[ftm-radio]

taking 10 minute binder breaks in the bathroom every couple of hours is actually really cool and sexy you guys should try it

#👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[ftm-radio]

Owning a pair of cartoonish heart boxers would fix me

#yes. i need it for my gender. <3

[ftm-radio]

i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

#down with cis <3