incorrect-guild-codex-quotes
Incorrect Guild Codex Quotes
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-Zylas, no, really
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Tori: How petty are you?
Aaron: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
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Robin: I just need to hear those three little words
Zylas: I love you
Robin: Try again
Zylas, grumbling: I will behave
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Kai: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeves
Ezra: I think you meant 'cards'
Aaron: He did not
Kai, pulling out knives: I did not
#source: twitter#which in itself was an incorrect 'x' handle so who knows at this point#the guild codex: spellbound#ezra rowe#aaron sinclair#kai yamada#i like to think that ezra tries to be the voice of reason for the boys#but there's just no stopping their rampant chaos#he tries to put the horrifying sh*t they say in a good light but#alas#the light source is a raging inferno#and aaron started it#sfw
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Zylas in his original summoning circle: I’ll never talk.
Robin, sharpening a knife: I have ways of making people talk.
Zylas: It won’t work - I’ll never tell you anything!
Robin: *cuts slice of cake*
Zylas:
Zylas: Give me some.
Robin: Cake is for talkers.
#the guild codex: demonized#source: cyanide and happiness#i very distinctly recall this comic and it is PERFECT for these idiots#zylas et vh'alyir#robin page#LITERALLY THEM#sfw
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Tori: If you found out you have one day left to live, what would you do with it?
Ezra: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.
Zak: Something illegal.
Kai: Accept my fate.
Aaron: I would message 10 people on Facebook saying if they didn't forward this message to 10 people, I would die tomorrow.
#source: ?#tori dawson#kai yamada#ezra rowe#aaron sinclair#zak#the guild codex: spellbound#i actually never read those books past the first#even though i bought all of them#just expected to like it more than i did i guess#maybe i'm just annoyed that it wasn't a harem story after all lol#sfw
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Darius: So in your resume it says you're creative.
Robin: Yes.
Darius: Okay. May I know what you create?
Robin: Problems.
#source: tumblr#incorrect quotes#the guild codex: demonized#robin page#the guild codex#darius king#the crow and hammer#sfw
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Zylas: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Robin: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Amalia: FLOOR IT!!
Zylas: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Robin: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Zylas: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Amalia: DO IT!
Robin: NO-
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Aaron: Thanks Dad
Everyone:…
Aaron: What?
Kai: You just called Darius “Dad”
Aaron: No I didn’t I said “thanks man”
Darius: Do you see me as a father figure, Aaron?
Aaron: No, if anything I see you as a bother figure
Ezra: Hey, show your father some respect
#accurate#source: brooklyn 99#the guild codex: spellbound#aaron sinclair#kai yamada#darius king#ezra rowe#this scene goes on for so much longer and it's amazing
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Robin: How petty are you?
Zylas: I once edited a Wikipedia page to win an argument I was wrong about.
#i doubt zylas has the technological know-how to do that#but he would if he could#the guild codex: demonized#zylas et vh'alyir#robin page#sfw#source: ???
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Zylas: I scare people lots because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms so when they turn around I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me
Tori: How did you get in my house??
Zylas: Exactly
#source: tumblr#if it's something else then idk it#the guild codex: demonized#the guild codex: spellbound#zylas et vh'alyir#tori dawson#sfw
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Zak, draped dramatically on the doorstep of Crow & Hammer: So I hear you like adopting people with a tragic backstory, minimal friends, horrible parents and self-esteem issues.
Darius:
Darius: Get off the dirty floor or you're grounded.
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Zylas, to himself: I'm just gonna carefully drop a few hints here and there that I might like her. Gotta play it cool, ya know. Don't want to seem too desperate or forward. Keep it low-key, as the kids say.
*a few hours later*
Robin: Hey did you eat all th-
Zylas: Marry me.
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Tori: My life...is a BioWare game.
Ezra: Explain.
Darius: Disappointing lack of gay romance.
Lienna: Constantly wishing I had better hair.
Clara: Eyebrows are a wreck.
Amalia: Makeup lighting different than original application.
Kit: Things always sound worse spoken than thought of in head.
Zylas: I mean to say something nice but it comes out sarcastic.
Ezra: At one point, everything is going to crash.
Zak: Everywhere I go it all looks the same.
Kai: Sarcastic friends with questionable morality.
Robin: Decisions stress me out.
Aaron: I just really want a dog.
Zora: My decisions and choices don't really matter in the end.
#source: tumblr#incorrect quotes#the guild codex: demonized#the guild codex: warped#the guild codex: unveiled#the guild codex: spellbound#sfw#everyone lmao#tori dawson#ezra rowe#darius king#lienna shen#clara#amalia harper#kit morris#zylas et vh'alyir#zakariya andrii#kai yamada#robin page#aaron sinclair#zora
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Ezra: I can't find it!
Aaron: What are you looking for?
Ezra: My happiness
Tori: [walks in with her hand stuck in a peanut butter jar] Hey, can someone help me tie my shoe?
Ezra:
Ezra: I found it
#source: tumblr#incorrect quotes#ezra rowe#aaron sinclair#tori dawson#the guild codex: spellbound#sfw
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