intankhasanah
Dream and Reality
Hey, you just found a Demigod, a Huntress of Artemis, and a Hogwarts Graduate who lives in Narnia! Psst..I have Legacies of Lorien too!Welcome to my world!I create reality by dreams, I build a life by magic, I start a day with courage, I end a day with hope. Sometimes I wonder do I count on miracle? Most of time, I do.
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“How do you know he is the one?”
“I don’t”
“Then why you choose him?”
“Because he makes me want to live a little longer every day, for the rest of my life”
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I thought being something in between was the wise choice to let go of the defined boxes or prevent the side effects of particular extremes until I faced a situation between loving and hating someone at the same time, and it shattered me. I wish I could choose to only love or hate but I couldn’t, and will never be. When I thought being in between would prevent the extremes, it didn’t. At least it doesn’t work that way for loving and hating someone kinda situation, because it’ll make you experience both side effects to the worst.
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You can never be too much for someone who loves you.
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What does it mean when I keep attracting people who are allergic to saying sorry or unable to ask for a genuine apology?
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Good Deeds
"They said every good deed will be rewarded, but there is none come", the caterpillar grumbled
"Are there any bad things that happened lately?", the ant responded
"Waiting for the reward is more than bad. IT IS THE WORST!", The caterpillar couldn't believe the ant didn't pay attention to her.
"I mean, something bad like a disaster? Losing things, falling, getting hurt, sick, something like that?", the ant made her statement more specific to deal with the caterpillar's temper
"Well, no. But every day feels the same. I'm bored", the caterpillar couldn't help herself out of her misery
"Maybe, if you allow me to elaborate my perspective, no bad things can also be a reward for your good deeds, don't you think so? Things could get worse, but it didn't. Don't you think that's also part of your reward?", the ant tried to shed light on the caterpillar's self-made misery
"If you put it that way..it makes sense. But don't you think I deserve a better life?", the caterpillar bargained
"Of course you do! The absence of bad things as the reward for your good deeds will make your day better! You'll live your life easier than having a series of unfortunate events that might drain your energy. That privilege is an opportunity for you to try something new, something that excites you. Excitement can make you feel better. Hence, the better life!", nothing can beat the caterpillar's self-pity than the ant's optimism.
"I mean..that's not..well..", the caterpillar realized she was too tired to complain more. She has lost much of her energy pitying herself. She got none left.
"I'll show you the new garden filled with many pretty flowers that just appeared last night. Come with me, you need to recharge yourself with the beauty of life outside this place. Who knows good things already waiting for us there", the ant remembered her intention to come to the caterpillar's house. She wanted to cheer up her best friend and help her find her sparks again.
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I can’t explain it well but the first night after Ramadan left, I felt exposed to the wild mundane world. As if, a protected barrier that kept me warm and at ease and safe during Ramadan has gone. I can feel the absence of it. It’s getting stronger and clearer at night. I can sense the evil breaking the walls made by Ramadan. The anxiety creeps as the lonely feeling is back again. I noticed the difference a long time ago but never bothered to write them down. Now the absence speaks loudest and I feel so sad. May all of us meet Ramadan again next year and many good years to come with complete loved ones around us🤲🏻🫶🏻☀️
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For all the mistakes I can’t undo that left the aftertaste as sins to repent, here I am sending my sincere apology to everyone whom I might hurt in the past, hoping that we all can face the new better, and much brighter days ahead☀️💕
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Remind me again, someday in the future, the importance of setting and remembering that one goal we made at the beginning is the most crucial part. So no matter how hard the circumstance is, we will always find strength to continue the journey. Remind me again, that someday in the future, the importance of putting the anchor to our very dear memories and feelings from the past is very demanded. So no matter how scattered the road is, the same frequency from our old self will always lead us home. And we won’t ever be lost. Remind me again, someday in the future, that in the end, even though we have lost everything, hope is the only thing that should remain with us.
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With great prize comes great sacrifice no one wants to deal with. So be careful of what you wish for. When you look at someone’s life who looks like has all of your prayers and you start to wish for the same life but it gets you on your hard times instead, maybe that’s the journey they took before they got the life you’re so jealous to have it all too. “Choose your struggles” becomes more relevant instead of “Choose your goals or dreams” because none of the goals or dreams happen without the hidden struggles people commit in their silence.
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Things get the roughest near the happy ending.
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I wonder why God often puts me in situations with people who are allergic to saying sorry yet love to do me wrong. Does God do this so I can reflect on my behavior towards myself? To be aware of my self-hatred self-loathed hobbies? To acknowledge that those hobbies are wrong? And myself as the victim deserve to receive a decent apology statement? To listen to myself who has been craving so long for an apology statement from me that has been neglected because I believe myself deserved to be bullied by me? So until I'm able to change, to stop bullying myself, stop self-hatred and doing myself wrong, then I'll stop meeting those kinds of people?
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Sometimes a crisis happens to unlock your new feature you never know you have it
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During my prayers, I kept asking God, “What should I do?”, until I realized, I was so arrogant. Maybe that’s the reason my prayers have not been granted yet because I make it as if it all depends on me when it’s not. I exclude God, the most significant part to decide what, where, when, and how my prayers will be granted. I left God behind and did the hard work by myself. What a huge mistake. Perhaps, rather than asking, “What should I do?” to God, I’m gonna ask, “What and where are the signs? Can you show me the signs? Can you make me aware of them? Can you guide me to follow them that lead me to dreams come true moments? Sure You can, in the name of Allah, the most gracious and most merciful greatness can do them all easily, so please help me..”
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You can't help someone who’s not ready to be helped.
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My whole life, I've been used to the absence of people. So, whenever I feel too comfortable around someone, I will detach myself for a while and keep some distance to maintain no expectations. That's how I survive.
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I hate being left behind. I hate how it makes me feel. I hate it so much. I loathe it. I despise it.
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