jasper-polytheist-wizard

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

i used to go to barnes and noble but they caught me using my wizard powers to make exact copies of all the manga because my eyes were glowing between the shelves. now i shop at increasingly strange thrift stores where the layout makes less sense the further in you go

#shitpost #books

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

wholesome doggo

#other entities #animals #religion

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

#shitpost #other entities #animals

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

#shitpost #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

#shitpost #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

if i am saying “drive safe” to you it is not a wish or command btw. i am casting a spell. Get fucking cushioned and shielded and protected idiot

#shitpost #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

Sisyphus, but instead of rolling a boulder up a hill, he just keeps trying and failing to roll a blunt

#shitpost #mythology #greek mythology #sisyphus

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

If one day they were like hey Sisyphus we’re talking your rock away and replacing it with a functionally identical rock. Do you think he would be sad?

#mythology #greek mythology #sisyphus

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo

#shitpost #health and being trapped in the mortal coil #honestly i'm down

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

Sisyphus, but instead of rolling a boulder up a hill, he just keeps trying and failing to roll a blunt

#shitpost #jasper post #mythology #greek mythology #sisyphus

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

When he thinks you're lighting candles to be sweet and romantic but you are actually about to sacrifice him

#shitpost #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

#shitpost

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

#shitpost #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

internet wiccan tries to harm me with an emoji spell but i narrowly survive bc my phone is too old for updates so i just get black rectangles, easily one of my favorite color and shape combinations

#shitpost #spells and works #technology

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

Bad advice from Jasper:

Bring curse-bearing cupcakes to the workplace Christmas party and offer them to people you carry nothing but contempt for. Bring blessed cupcakes to the workplace Christmas party and offer them to people you actually like.

Optional step: mix the two groups up before you offer them to someone for a fun sense of danger known only to you.

#jasper post #shitpost #bad advice from jasper #food and food adjacent #spells and works

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

This is my all time favorite picture on the Internet. I have a couple and they're all kinds of terrible but this one is my favorite.

I consider it modern art.

#shitpost #history and folklore and shit

[jasper-polytheist-wizard]

Reliquaries and tomes, y'all. Reliquaries and tomes.

#books