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Would you guys be surprised if I came on here and said Hey I have a new hyperfix

#heyyyyyyy #south park tumblr I want to join you #south park #I’m fucking crazy but I’m free

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I don’t know if people even still like these but….

✨ falsettos as the onion headlines ✨

#my grand return to tumblr #falsettos #the onion headlines #whizzvin #trindel #whizzer brown #mendel weisenbachfeld #trina weisenbachfeld #the lesbians from next door #andrew rannells #christian borle #stephanie j block #brandon uranowitz #anthony rosenthal #tracie thoms #betsy wolfe #musical theatre #broadway #what else can I tag I love tagging I’m a tag whore

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Today was my birthday that is all I have to contribute to this website at the moment

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“My life would be boring as shit” getting bleeped to “my life would be flat as a lake” is still hilarious to me like… y’all literally could’ve just said hell instead of shit but no we had to turn into 70 year olds

#Marvin at the retirement home: A three part mini opera #chess ain’t how your boyfriend thinks is a better line than the original though #tv ratings are so funny to me they can say bitch like 90 times in the first 3 minutes of the show but not shit once #falsettos

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Whizzer and Trina were besties because I say so. It’s true

#we were robbed #‘that’s my life’ 💔💔 #falsettos #whizzer brown #trina weisenbachfeld

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Hello tumblr long time no see sorry my brain has decided that now I’m obsessed with falsettos/BOM/Andrew Rannells and, while it’s always fun to get a new hyperfixation, it is less fun when it’s something that the general public stopped caring about like 5 years ago

#am i allowed to go multifandom #is there even an active fandom for these shows #i doubt it #I’ll tag in hopes of summoning them though #falsettos #book of mormon #bom #andrew rannells #MCPRICELEY NATION WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU #mcpriceley #get over here. #whizzer brown #whizzvin #also guys Jason whatever his last name is and Kevin price are autistic #:) #sry gleeks I still love glee but the incessant need to talk about it has faded #going apeshit in tags again

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Klaine is a gay ship for straights tho, like their entire story mainly appealed to straight people during the show’s peak when the fandom had the most people. That’s not saying they have no queer fans, but the majority were straight and that’s the whole meaning of the term. Most of their fans now are queer, but the active fandom is also maybe 100 people, so it doesn’t make the term inaccurate. Most queer people, especially mlm, just hated Klaine🤷🏾‍♂️

No but to be fair I get what you mean, I wasn’t around when it was at its most popular so I can’t speak to what it was like then, but I don’t appreciate it being called that now, so I’d rather not see it or interact with that idea if that’s cool.

#i hate this take so fucking much #like Ryan Murphy isn’t literally a gay man #this shit is so invalidating honestly like I’m a gay boy and klaine were literally what made me feel okay about myself #and like why do people feel the need to speak for mlm lolz #this is like when people say kurt is bad representation cause he’s ‘stereotypical’ #like just admit you hate when men aren’t Super Masculine #also???? straight teenage girls have always and will always be obsessed with mlm tv couple that’s just how it is #that does not mean klaine was made for them #also it’s 2022 why the fuck are we still starting glee discourse it’s embarrassing #can we just let people like things . #there is no such thing as a gay couple made for straights they are literally just gay #anyways sorry for ranting in the tags xx #anon pissed me off though <3 #bee rants #klaine

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Guys I’m neck deep in a BOM hyperfixation I hate to admit it but it’s true and I am now going to force you all to listen to me talk about it in relation to mormon klaine

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Fic: Petulant

Tan Hands and Tan Lines Sophisticated Word Challenge 2021: petulant

Words: ~1500 words

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Blaine doesn’t want to share the Gospel with Chandler.

I’m belatedly going through the prompts for The Tan Hands and Tan Lines Summer Event 2021 to flesh out my Mormon!Klaine universe. This one takes place after Wordplay (my most recent post) and before Cedars of Lebanon (which I’ve moved up in the chronology).

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

Notes: A filler ficlet. Schwester Rose is Marley Rose and Fräulein Pilzburg is Emma Pillsbury. If you have any questions or typo corrections, feel free to use my ask box!

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Elder Hummel was at the kitchen table, lining up his pens and highlighters in a neat row in preparation for their planning meeting, when Blaine’s phone buzzed. He smiled to see Schwester Rose’s name on his screen.

“The sisters say they’d love to help Fräulein Pilzburg to move.” Blaine sat down next to Elder Hummel and held up the phone so he could see the screen.

“Good,” Elder Hummel said, but he didn’t smile. He pursed his lips in a businesslike manner. “We’ve already ticked one thing off our meeting agenda. Now we just need to set up a time. Elder Anderson, would you lead us in prayer before we start?”

Blaine did. Elder Hummel thanked him and opened the two-ring binder where all the notes for investigators past and present in this part of Ingolstadt were kept. His businesslike demeanor vanished. He broke into a grin. Light seemed to dance in his eyes like sunlight off rustling green leaves. “Ah! Chandler Kiehl. Let’s start with him. What are your thoughts on how we should approach our first lesson with him, Elder Anderson?”

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#blaine ‘valedictorian who has Columbia as a backup school’ anderson needs to work on his spelling? #gay lol #kurt liking chandler makes me irritated I don’t know if it’s cause I’m in love with him or cause I’m blaine kin or because Kurt’s a CHEATER #I’ve fallen deep into a BOM hyperfixation also #and I have thoughts #many of them #mcpriceley? you mean klaine? #Arnold Cunningham and Sam evans are the same person in different fonts #kevin price is autistic also cause I say so xx #BLAINE: Africa is NOTHING like lion king. i think that movie took a lot of artistic liberty 😓 #You know what I’m gonna make a whole post about this actually #it’s my world you’re all just living in it #i sound like elder price aww #mormon!klaine

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#BLAINE: first rule of fight club is have fun and be yourself 🥰🌈☀️

#blaine anderson #glee #which he obviously CANT TALK ABOUT

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Fic: Wordplay

Tan Hands and Tan Lines SmuttySmooty Word Challenge 2021: edge

Words: ~2800 words

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: The missionaries get a surprise investigator. Kurt gets a surprise flirtation.

I’m belatedly going through the prompts for The Tan Hands and Tan Lines Summer Event 2021 to flesh out my Mormon!Klaine universe. This one takes place the day after Trying to Love and before Strong When You’re Beside Me.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

Notes: Thank you to @wendypetersnevergrowsup for supplying me with German puns and pickup lines! As always, I welcome questions, typo identification, and encouragement.

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“Elder Anderson! Elder Anderson!” Kurt really didn’t need to be yelling for his companion’s attention. He was only a few feet away, heating water for couscous at the kitchen stove and singing Friend Like Me from Aladdin to himself. But Kurt couldn’t help it. This was beyond exciting. It was close to miraculous.

Elder Anderson gave Kurt an amused smile. “You’re so cute when you’re excited about something, did you know that?”

Kurt felt heat rise to his face. He wasn’t sure how to take that. Elder Anderson said the strangest things sometimes. “Don’t belittle me. This is important.”

Elder Anderson’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Belittle? I wasn’t trying to… Nevermind. What is it? Tell me.”

Kurt hopped up from the kitchen table and waltzed over to his companion. “The woman. In the bathrobe. Who you wanted to undress?”

Elder Anderson’s cheeks flushed. “I didn't—”

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#almost fainted why did you hit me with the blaine calling kurt cute right off the bat DAMN at least give me a warning ‼️ #personally if I was kurt in that moment I would’ve simply killed mused #that was supposed to say myself #his response to being called cute being “don’t belittle me #see there if I was blaine I would’ve said now who pissed in your coffee elder hummel #well since he can’t drink coffee I guess it’s god that pissed in his coffee #very impressed that blaine can pick kurt up #idk why . mans famously started the Dalton branch of fight club but #i just can’t imagine him picking anyone up he’s tiny #which also doesn’t make sense cause I’m the same size as him and I can pick people up #he’s probably been practicing in preparation to pick chandler up and choke slam him onto the mat #ALSO YASSSSS EMMA !!!! #Was emma already planned into this when I asked for her to be in it #i was scared that this was gonna open the door for mormon will but he’s in Ohio so we’re safe hopefully #carl and will should be together in this verse ❤️❤️ #kidding but fr that scene where they harmonize the Ahs at the dentist that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen in my life #NAUR YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED #Kurt kinda reminds me of like. he’s like a mormon gay version of girl defined #awww maybe he’s Bethany’s husband that everyone said went to conversion therapy #this is probably niche but Cody Ko’s girl defined videos…. #‘my husband keeps asking me to throw it back for a real one and I just don’t know what he means’ #‘how do I give him that sloppy toppy… that goose neck’ #Goodbye sorry that’s probably only a funny reference to me it just reminds me of kurt #Kurt googling ‘what’s a backshot’ when blaine leaves for work #his 16 year old ass referring to porn as ‘movies’ in that one scene good god he’s literally 87 #ANYWAYS! Banger chapter thank you my beloved wowbright *tender forehead smooch* #adam down bad as fuck poor guy kurt said No these lips are only for Jesus and he packed his damn bags and went right back to england #mormon!klaine

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Fic: Something Remarkable

Tan Hands and Tan Lines SmuttySmooty Word Challenge 2021: wiggle

Words: ~500 words

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Kurt frets about what to wear. (Or, Kurt’s reaction to Chandler’s flirtations in the sheet music store.)

I’m belatedly going through the prompts for The Tan Hands and Tan Lines Summer Event 2021 to flesh out my Mormon!Klaine universe. This one takes place the day after Can’t Be Torn Apart, and right before Boundaries and Modes of Transportation.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

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Kurt stood in front of the mirror. He’d taken his tie off for dinner and didn’t want to put it back on. He stared at it, draped around his neck but not tied, and wiggled the ends of it in a futile attempt to give it more oomph.

He’d thought it had plenty of oomph when he’d put it on this morning, but now that they were getting ready for English group, he wondered if he ought to wear something that made even more of a statement. Something as remarkable as the hippo tie.

But he didn’t have anything as remarkable as the hippo tie.

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#KURT IS SO FUCJING DRAMATIC I LOVE IT SM #elder anderson the source of joy and sunshine is a fan of Alexander McQueen’s gothic sensibilities?!?! #HIS HESRT DID A LITTLE PITTER PATTER STAWP ITTTTTTTTTT #GOD GHATS SO PRECUOUS I WANNA CRY #I’m NOT gay. but I would like to make Kurt’s heart pitter patter #KURT T REX TIE?!?!?$?!? IN THIS ECONOMY??? #Every time I read one of these heaven sent posts you have another little thing in there that feels like it was a personal gift to me #and I think that’s beautiful #mormon!klaine #teehee gay people

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klaine doodle so i don’t starve you guys

#SOBBINGGGGGGGG #GOD BLESS #I. #Wow #best thing I’ve ever seen in my life actually #nothing bad has ever happened to me

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Forgot to post about how I dyed my hair pink I did it on top of faded brown so it’s not super bright I call it skank kurt lite <3

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NAUR watching biota and my pappy just goes “what’s kurt dressed like a little nazi for”

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Hello I’ve been painfully inactive on here I’m working on some stuff but I just would like everyone to know that I got my Belozi squishmallow I’ve been wanting forever today and it’s Blaine. Blaine cow. Blaine squishmallow. Blaine cow with his bowties and his kindness :,)))

#blaine anderson #random shit #ITS HIM AND ITS ME AND I CRIED WHEN I OPENED HIM #my angel baby #blaine cow

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Fic: Your Heart’s Been Aching

Klaine/CC Valentine’s Challenge: Day 14 prompt song, Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

Words: ~10,600 words

Rating: Mature

Summary: Kurt has an explicit dream, Blaine gets sick, and new converts just keep coming their way.

A vignette in my Mormon!Klaine universe. This one takes place right after Flat Tire.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost. (Start with that if you’re new, not this.)

Notes: (1) Thanks to @gleefulpoppet for the beautiful mockup of Kurt’s consecrated oil vial! (2) Thank to everyone who answered my question about where Holly Holliday attended college! (3) I included a reference to every single line of the prompt. Some of the references are exact quotes, some of them are close, and in a few cases … you’ll see. (4) Mature because sexual fantasies, self-exploration, and shame. (5) Warning: a character gets sick to his stomach. (6) As always, I welcome questions, typo identification, feedback on German spelling/grammar, and encouragement!

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Kurt’s blessings just kept multiplying. At the bike shop, they got to talking with the mechanic, a French guy with prosthetic thumbs. He tolerated Kurt’s attempts to practice French with him, and was intrigued by the fact that kids their age were tooling around Ingolstadt in full suits—which opened the door to talking about the church.

Henri St. Pierre, as his name turned out to be, had somehow never met a Mormon missionary before. But he was intrigued by the idea that they had scriptures in addition to the Bible, and was stoked when they offered to leave him a copy of the Book of Mormon.

“Do they have this in French, too? I can read German, but it’s not as natural to me.” Henri asked, flipping through the pages. Kurt had marked the story about the Anti-Nephi-Lehis burying their weapons of war when Henri had mentioned his pacifist leanings, and the part about the Nephites and Lamanites sharing all things in common because of his socialist ones.

“Of course!” Elder Anderson said excitedly. “We have some French copies back in our apartment. We could drop one off your next shift?”

Henri genuinely lit up at the offer.

God truly didn’t care what Kurt got up to in the shower, apparently.

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#RHIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER READ HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS #OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY CAN I DM YOU I NEED TO SHOWER YOU WITH PRIASE #FIRST OF ALL CARETAKER KURT I KNOW IT WASNT BUT IT FELT LIKE A PERSONAL GIFT FOR ME OHNMYGOD #CALLING BLAINE HONEY HHHHHH IM SO #WHY NOT ME #IM GONNA CRY #BUT ALSO FUCIING #THE GUCKING. SEX FANTASIES HOLY GOD #I READ THIS WHILE WATCHING THE OLYMPICS WIFH MY GRANDPARNTS LMFAO KURT AND BLAINE AINT THE ONLY ONES WITH BONERS AT UNFORTUNATE TIMES #Kurt’s sexual awakening was scarily similar to my own #he’s not a bottom though 😔 lucky #no it honestly Is lucky . for me at least ☺️ #ANDDDDDD BOM REFERENCES AT LAST YASSSSSS THAT ALSO FEES LIKE A PERSONAL GIFT #SO TRUUEUEUEUEE #IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND IM ABOUT TO BE BUSY BUT I WILL BE SINGING YOUR PRAISES IN YOUR DMS IN A COUPLE HOURS IF I HAVE PERMISSION TO DO SO #GOD. GOD BLESS #mormon!klaine