malcolmschmitz

[malcolmschmitz]

Now that I've got your attention...

Howdy, Tumblr! I'm a queer disabled writer with Some Stupid Problems! Namely: the government decided that, because I made A Small Amount from my writing for two months in 2023, they need to cut my benefits by A Large Amount for an undisclosed amount of time!!

So yeah, I'm suphering from a tiny amount of suksess. Obviously, I'm trying to get off benefits. I have been for years. But to do that, I need your help!

Please buy my books. If you've bought them, please leave a review at your favourite digital storefront. If you've bought them and reviewed them, please tell your friends- word of mouth is the only way tiny queer indie artists can survive these days.

Thank you so much, and I hope you guys have a wonderful day!

#writers on tumblr #queer fiction #orcs #unicorns #plague doctors #gregor samsa #< All things contained in my work in one way or another #meme man

[malcolmschmitz]

this was a comment on one of my post from a recent live event. it was photos of joyful queer buckaroos celebrating together and proving love is real through creation, community, and a trot of love. most important I AM LITERALLY IN PHOTO AS A REAL FLESH AND BLOOD HUMAN

it got me thinking about how DEEP AND VICIOUS the irony poisoning of these early internet communities goes. the way buds like this cannot fathom someone just being a sincere person unrelated to their OWN old days of cynical posting. it is fascinating, and i will admit, sad too

despite a DECADE of work, countless live events, 350 tinglers written well before large language models were a thing, there are still people who cannot imagine someone like me could exist. it is a strange place to be. not just part of me, but my entire EXISTENCE is often gatekept

it is easy to say ‘well chuck your art IS strange’ but honestly i think it is more than that. magical realism is common. there are stories about dinosaurs and bigfeet and unicorns. this scoundrel reaction is about two unspoken things: my art is neurodivergent, and my art is queer

heres the thing: I WILL BE FINE. what concerns me is not an issue of MYSELF, it is a concern for the other young outsider buckaroos who see comments like this one and think ‘is that what they will say if i express MY unique way? will i be dehumanized like this at every turn?'

i will be honest, i cannot say that WONT happen, but i CAN say this: for as deep as this irony poisoning goes, it is slowly dying. the way i was treated at the start of my career is LIGHTYEARS DIFFERENT from the way i am treated now. there is a massive shift towards sincerity

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. to young artists trotting up, the things that i am harassed over and doubted for and made fun of for are NOT tangental to what has made me successful, THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME SUCCESSFUL. YES I AM STRANGE, WHAT OF IT?

the things that you tuck away for fear of a review that says ‘there is a PROBLEM with this art because it has always been done another way’ THOSE ARE YOUR SUPERPOWERS. the gatekeepers want you to tuck those parts of yourself away because THEY TUCKED AWAY THOSE PART OF THEMSELVES

never forget that your unique way is PURE UNFILTERED 100 PERCENT ROCKET FUEL. it will stick out (maybe, if you are lucky, scoundrels will even say that someone like you could never actually be real), but sticking out isnt so bad when you are waving the flag of love.

in fact, when youre waving the flag of love, sticking out is pretty dang cool. what are flags for, after all? LOVE IS REAL BUCKAROOS. thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this long post then please consider preordering BURY YOUR GAYS.

LETS TROT

[malcolmschmitz]

came across an interesting substack article detailing information from the doj vs prh trial in 2022. here's a metric for deal size vs anticipated sales figures for each book acquired by PRH:

essentially, this means that if the publisher (PRH in this case) thinks you'll sell 75,000 units (purchased copies of your book, though this particular graphic doesn't specify format) or more, you'll get at least a major deal/$500,000 or more. i knew that the size of the advance directly related to how many copies the publisher thinks will sell, but i had no idea of the exact numbers before

[malcolmschmitz]

Reblog so everyone can hear what they need.

[malcolmschmitz]

One of the best stories humanity ever produced was a draft of a rewrite of the Epic of Gilgamesh written by a Ecuadorian poet in 1935. It was tossed into a fireplace by an angry boy and lost forever. Another of humanity's best was told 65,000 years ago and was overheard by a small tribe of embarked Neanderthals boating down a river in what is now northern Georgia. A short woman at the bank scrubbed a wooden idol in the water and sang an ancient tale in an unknown language. These two are eclipsed by everything produced by two brothers at the coast of what is now Cameroon between 503 BC and 490 BC, which they shared with some family and friends, and were beloved by everyone except a sour uncle.

[malcolmschmitz]

Small artists you need to understand that when you see an artist who you think has 'made it' tells you not to worry about the numbers and to not fret about getting more likes than reblogs they are not telling you it because they think you are stupid for caring or because they dont need to network to survive they are very likely telling you that because they have witnessed first hand the way the numbers game tears people to shreds in terms of mental health and motivation

[malcolmschmitz]

hey, hey. I don't know who needs to hear this, but--if you are a webcomic creator working with a publisher that tells you things like "your series is under preforming" as a reason why they can't meet certain, very basic requests you make, and leverages this vague statement against you as a way to position and request more from you--know that it is probably, definately, part of a script they use for every. single. creator. they work with.

If you are working hard, producing good work, meeting those deadlines, and communicating as well as you are able with the publisher, etc, you are a rockstar. Your series performance isn't YOUR job. It's their job to promote it and get those sales and numbers for you.

Don't let these companies get under your skin. They know you're working on something you are passionate about. They are banking on the assumption that you are trying to prove your own worth to yourself. They will say some extremely devaluing shit to you in their effort to squeeze as much out of you as possible.

When push comes to shove, if they can not provide what you need, then what you need is to walk away. You've got incredible skill and an incredible work ethic. If you didn't, they'd have never approached you in the first place. Know when a publisher is trying to tear you down for their own gain and leave 'em in the dirt. A publisher shouldn't be using language to make you feel like a disappointment. Nothing you've done for them is disappointing. They're not paying you enough.

[malcolmschmitz]

I told a stranger this little bit of advice earlier today and I think more people need to hear it: People not interacting with your work is a morally neutral thing, especially when you're just starting out.

Not getting the interaction you're wanting doesn't mean your work is inherently bad. Doesn't mean your stories are not worth the time to be heard. Doesn't mean you're incapable of growth.

Being a part of the comics community is less about trying to fit in and finding complete validation from others and more about building a space all your own and inviting others to join you. People will come and go but you're the one whose opinion and attention matters most. That space is gonna grow and change as you go through that but the thing is you've gotta put in the work to make it exist, and we all start somewhere.

Be kind to the present you, look forward to the future you, and be proud of what those two yous can make together.

[malcolmschmitz]

The marvels and prodigies, the seven-league boots and enchanted mirrors, the talking animals [...] the stars on the brow of the good sister and the donkeytail sprouting on the brow of the bad - all the wonders that create the atmosphere of the fairy tale disrupt the apprehensible world in order to open spaces for dreaming alternatives. The verb 'to wonder' communicates the receptive state of marvelling as well as the active desire to know, to inquire, and as such it defines very well at least two characteristics of the traditional fairy tale: pleasure in the fantastic, curiosity about the real. The dimension of wonder creates a huge theatre of possibility in the futures: anything can happen. This very boundlessness serves the moral purpose of the tales, which is precisely to teach where boundaries lie. The dreaming gives pleasure in its own right, but it also represents a practical dimension to the imagination, an aspect of the faculty of thought, and can unlock social and public possibilities. [...] The enchantments also universalize the narrative setting, encipher concerns, beliefs and desires in brilliant, seductive images that are themselves a form of camouflage, making it possible to utter hard truths, to say what you dare. The disregard for logic, all those fairy tale non-sequiturs and improbable reversals, rarely encompasses the emotional conflicts themselves: hatred, jealousy, kindness, cherishing retain an intense integrity throughout. The double vision of the tales, on the one hand charting perennial drives and terrors, both conscious and unconscious, and on the other mapping actual, volatile experience, gives the genre its fascination and power to satisfy. At the same time, uncovering the context of the tales, their relation to society and history, can yield more of a happy resolution than the story itself delivers with its challenge to fate: 'They lived happily ever after' consoles us, but gives scant help compared to, 'Listen, this is how it was before, but this could change - and they might.'

Marina Warner, From the Beast to the Blonde: On Fairy Tales and Their Tellers

[malcolmschmitz]

Cliches exist to provide a common narrative language the audience is familiar with, so you can put your own personal spin on it. What does your use of cliche say about you? About your art?

[malcolmschmitz]

Where is the best place to preorder Bury Your Gays? What is of most benefit to you?

i know other types of media have given the trot of preorders a bad way, but for publishing books i cannot even begin to tell you buckaroos HOW IMPORTANT PREORDERS ARE WHEN SUPPORTING AUTHORS YOU CARE ABOUT. i mean HECK preorders are so important i even wrote three dang tinglers about it

basically preorders are what publishers use to determine how much financial backing they will give a book for advertising and book tours and all that, but that is only PART of this way. BOOK STORES also use a preorder equation to determine how much shelf space to give a book. your preorder does not just mean YOU get a book for yourself, but basically means you are making room for someone ELSE to get the book in a store by putting another copy on a shelf

that is why it is better to put in a preorder instead of just saying 'oh i will just remember to buy myself a copy on the day it comes out'

LASTLY preorders are how books get onto bestseller lists because all the orders leading up to your book release date COUNT AS FIRST WEEK SALES. something like new york times bestseller list is close to impossible trot without preorders

think of it like a handsome surfing bigfoot trying to ride a wave. it is one thing to actually ride on the wave, but what matters most is that initial moment when you GET UP THERE and actually have the strength to pull yourself up when the wave starts. PREORDERS are the climbing up part

NOW LETS GET DOWN TO YOUR SPECIFIC QUESTION

first of all ANY preorder is great. what matters most as far as bestseller lists is actually FORMAT. the best thing you can order for an author is not ebook or audiobook, it is HARDCOVER. personally i am an audiobook buckaroo myself so please understand you should order whatever format you want, but technically speaking the answer is HARDCOVER

next is WHERE do you order. this answer is pretty dang cool actually. the best place to order for the sake of author is your LOCAL INDIE BOOKSTORE. if you MUST order at a big timer website that is fine, but many bestseller lists are weighted towards indie bookstores

so to sum it up. the technical BEST WAY to support chuck with 'bury your gays' is to PREORDER a HARDCOVER from an INDIE BOOKSTORE.

thank you for your question but before you go trotting along i would like to add one more thing

all art is important. when we create things they serve as stepping stones for us to move along our journey as artists and creators on this timeline. i have so much love for every book i have made, from POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY OWN BUTT to CAMP DAMASCUS

but i have to say with deep sincerity in my way, BURY YOUR GAYS is something special. i absolutely believe that if you care about fandom, or creation, or love, or fanfiction, or supernatural, or the future of media, or asexual buckaroos, or gay buckaroos, or bi buckaroos or any queer buckaroos, you will love this book. i promise buckaroo

it is the best thing i have ever written, and i think it is going to bend this timeline in incredible ways. i would like you to trot with me into the future, since we have already trotted this far together. i cannot say this enough: this one is special, and the timelines we create from here are going to make the whole dang world look up in surprise and say 'where the heck did that come from?'

so if you are even CONSIDERING preordering, take a moment a do it.

if you are one of those buckaroos who says 'chuck tingle is my favorite author ive never read' then now is your moment

lets trot buckaroos. thank you for reading and thank you for constantly proving to me that love is real

preorder BURY YOUR GAYS here

[malcolmschmitz]

guys I had this realization the other day that Redwall works really well for reading aloud, and kinda half-remembered something about the author reading to kids? So I looked it up to see if I had made a connection.

And it turns out, yes, actually, because he read aloud to kids at a school for the blind. But all the books they gave him to read were depressing. So he wrote Redwall, a story about heroism and courage and making it through struggles, and filled it with so many sensory, visual details so he could give them something better and I just-- that's so wholesome-- help

#on writing #kidlit #redwall

[malcolmschmitz]

[malcolmschmitz]

My brain will just create new WIPs against my will, it’ll just start going, I have no say in which one I work on, in fact, WIP actually stands for Writer in Peril, help

[malcolmschmitz]

Books to Get Booped By

Getting into the spirit of April Boop Fools' Day? I have a book you might enjoy, feat. mischievous cats, an incredibly autistic plague veterinarian, and a whole bunch of Shenanigans.

For the next week (until April 6) you can get it on Smashwords for 67% off with the coupon code DN2PR.

(I would have made it BOOP but the site wouldn't let me)

Again, that's DN2PR.

Happy reading, and GET BOOPED!

#my writing #shameless self-promotion #writers on tumblr #on writing #short story

[malcolmschmitz]

Books to Get Booped By

Getting into the spirit of April Boop Fools' Day? I have a book you might enjoy, feat. mischievous cats, an incredibly autistic plague veterinarian, and a whole bunch of Shenanigans.

For the next week (until April 6) you can get it on Smashwords for 67% off with the coupon code DN2PR.

(I would have made it BOOP but the site wouldn't let me)

Again, that's DN2PR.

Happy reading, and GET BOOPED!

#boop #the cats and the cockatrice #cats #april fools

[malcolmschmitz]

Reignite // Malukah

Death will take those who fight alone

But united we can break a fate once set in stone

Just hold the line until the end

Cause we will give them hell

#music