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marvelous-maximilian · 3 years

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A Decade Makes a Difference

[AO3]

It takes around thirty to sixty minutes for symptoms of arsenic poisoning to begin showing. In children, Howard can only guess that the symptoms would show up faster, but Antonio was asleep before they even made it home, and only woke up when the pain was finally too hard to handle. There was no telling when the poison really started to take effect. The only thing that could be gleaned from this information was what, exactly, it was that had poisoned Howard’s son. After all, the drive home was a little less than an hour long, and there was only one thing the boy had consumed just before they left.

The milkshake.

Tony had only drank a tiny sip of it before deciding he hated it, but that small sip was enough to cause organ failure. On the drive to the hospital, Tony had thrown up bile and blood three more times, his kidneys having shut down completely. It set Howard so on edge that he nearly tore the head off a cop when the woman dared to pull them over for speeding. Thankfully, she seemed to absorb the situation quickly, and escorted them the rest of the way, her siren making other cars move the hell out of their path.

Howard didn’t realize he began hyperventilating until he had sat down in the waiting area of the hospital, having just watched them wheel away his son into the emergency room. He felt light-headed, limbs numb, and more terrified than he ever had in his life, which is truly saying something considering the things he had done during the war. Now that he was left with nothing to do but wait for news, it was very difficult to anchor himself to the moment.

Maria’s lifeless eyes keep coming to mind, overlapping with Tony’s face, blood smeared over his lips, and, faintly, Howard starts to wonder if he’s having a heart attack. Seconds after that thought comes to mind, his vision goes black, and he ragdolls off his chair.

He wakes up later, confused, drained, and to Peggy Carter’s face staring down at him from his side. Because somehow he went from waiting on a patient to being a patient in a hospital bed himself.

“I see you’re finally awake, then,” Peggy says, trying for humor but not quite nailing it. The tear tracks on her face ruin the effect.

“What happened?”

She purses her lips at the question, eyes darting away.

“From what our good Doctor Elise told me? You had a severe anxiety attack.”

What.

The absolute disbelief apparently shows on his face, because Peggy glares down at him as though daring him to argue. Which, of course, he won't, because he actually prefers to keep his body intact, thank you very much. He has no intentions of ever pissing off one of his favorite foreigners.

“How did that happen?” He asks, although he knows that’s a pretty dumb question. He finds he doesn’t really have the energy to care much for how stupid he sounds.

“I don’t know Howard, maybe it has something to do with your son being rolled into the ER?”

Unbidden, the reminder has him tensing up completely, fisting at the cheap sheets beneath him. Quickly, Peggy lays a reassuring hand on his arm.

“He’s fine, Howard,” she soothes. “He’s– well, he’s going to be monitored for a few days, and he’s going to have a long road to recovery ahead of him, but he will recover. Tony is safe.”

“No he isn’t,” Howard growled, straining to sit up. “He’s not safe, not even when we had agents posted at every exit, watching every single movement, at that stupid charity auction—! Who was it? Peggy, the only thing Antonio had was a fucking milkshake, who—”

“We don’t know yet,” Peggy answers. “The avenue had the latest in security, we checked the cameras, but whoever it was remained in the blind spots of both our agents and the cameras alike. We didn’t see anyone suspicious.”

He appreciates that she’s at least being honest with him, despite the fact that he apparently has fucking anxiety attacks, now, dear lord. He survived one of the biggest and most devastating wars in history, and never once had anything of the sort.

“So whoever did it is still out there.”

“Yes,” Peggy frowns. “And we think whoever did it wasn’t only targeting little Tony.”

Fuck.

The champagne.

Apparently, his newfound determination to remain sober for his son’s sake had saved his fucking life.

“The waiter who served it—”

“We investigated. He’d been working there for well over three decades, and there was nothing suspicious on his person or in his home. He originally had three drinks, the champagne, the banana milkshake, and a strawberry milkshake. He gave the third drink to a young girl before making his way over to you.”

His heart drops.

“The girl—”

“The waiter was old and having memory problems, planning to retire soon. He couldn’t give us a detailed description. So far, none of the other young girls at the party seem to have had any problems. We’re still on the lookout for any reports, just in case.”

Not entirely reassuring, but better than nothing. He’s not sure he would be able to stomach it if a child completely unrelated to him were to drop dead simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Fuck. When did his life become such a shitshow?

... Actually, when has his life ever not been a shitshow?

“Am I allowed to get up and see my son yet, or are they gonna keep me prisoner here?”

Peggy winces.

“Tony’s on some heavy stuff right now, and likely won’t wake up for a while yet. I’m not sure it’s good for you to see him like that, Howard.”

He huffs out a frustrated sigh, pointedly ignoring her unsubtle advice.

“Can I get up and out of here, Pegs?”

She gives him a look, although since her face is still stained with tear tracks, it really isn’t as effective as she believes it is. With a resigned groan, she stands up.

“I’ll go find a nurse.”

As she walks out the door, Howards picks up her muttering “stubborn old man” under her breath, and he is definitely going to get back at her for that comment later, mark his words.

He takes in a deep breath, flopping down onto the mattress, staring up at the plain white ceiling. He imagines Maria, loudly pestering the medical staff, demanding to see her son and husband, and succeeding because she’s a force of nature and nothing can stop her. His eyes get wet, thinking of her yelling Italian profanities and incredibly creative threats, bursting through the door and rushing in to give her husband a sweet peck on the lips, or frantically giving her son hugs and reassurances, peppering his face with kisses.

Howard wipes the tears from his eyes and chokes on a sob.

He misses her so much.

People say that love fades, but for him and Maria, that was never the case. They just kept finding more and more new things to love about one another as time went on. They were best friends, partners in crime, and respected each other a great deal.

Even in death, Howard continues to love her more and more, and it’s just so fucking painful.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to survive this. He has no idea. But, you can be damn fucking sure that he will survive this.

Tony isn’t going to be an orphan, no matter what.

He takes a deep breath and collects himself, just in time as the door opens up once again, a nurse coming in to check on him. Scrawny guy, face entirely too apathetic for the medical field, which Howard supposes works in his favor, since this guy is more likely to let him go than anyone else.

“Alright Mr. Stark,” the nurse drones, eyes lazily roaming a clipboard in his arms. “You’re free to go, your sister has the list of prescriptions we recommend you take for your anxiety, as well as recommended foods to help lower your overall blood pressure.”

Sister? Wow, how the fuck did Peggy get this guy to buy that?

... Actually, she probably didn’t have to try very hard. Pal looks like he could care less. Major security concern right there.

Fuck. There comes the anxiety.

In a rush, he gets up and out of the bed before anyone can say anything else.

#Howard Stark #Tony Stark #Howard Stark lives #Peggy Carter #Kid Tony Stark #Marvel #MCU #Marvel Cinematic Universe #A Decade Makes a Difference

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marvelous-maximilian · 3 years

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As some people seem to not understand or distorting what Tony did in Civil War, here's a little reminder

---- Protecting people ----

Tony is presenting the September Foundation, his program to help school and give scholarships to students.

Just afterwards, a mother comes to him in the backstages to tell him that they killed her son during a battle, that she blames him and that he only fight for himself.

(And she says that to him, the one who has always done everything to protect people and not hurt anyone.)

People's safety has always been Tony's first priority. He's been trying to prevent that for years with organizations he created like Domage Control or the Stark Relief Foundation. And when he fights he always think of people first, he always evacuates places and created the Iron Legion for that too.

-- Tony is hurt, broken, that's one of the worst things you can say to him, he who already blames himself for everything.

He researches the boy and feels responsible for his death.

Then there is the Sokovia Accords. (Tony didn't create them). 117 countries have come together to ratify them. All these people agree on the same thing.

"Rhodey: A 117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you're just like, "No, that's cool. We got it."

Tony listens to the countries, listens to the people and recognizes the problem. He knows people suffers and dies because of them and he can't stand this.

He returns to the Avengers facility where Ross shows them a video of all their fights and the collateral damage.

-- He's stressed and feels so bad about it, we can see him holding the chair and his hand tightly with anxiety during the screening

He tries to make everyone understand that it's necessary to make compromises for the well-being and life of others.

He himself doesn't like Ross. We can see it in The Consultant and in some mcu comics.

But the safety of the people is more important.

It's so important for him, and he fears that the Avengers don't understand him and don't listen to him (as often).

And he's shocked when Natasha do.

---- Protecting the Avengers ----

STEVE AND BUCKY

When later Steve goes outside the law to capture Bucky, Tony is the one who keep him out of jail and protect him.

As well as to Bucky to whom he offers medical care in the United States rather than prison.

He just want to keep everyone together, united and safe.

He talk to Steve, proposes to him to modify the Accords to make them as convenient as possible for everyone. And does everything to convince him to avoid the fights (until exhauntion).

WANDA

At this moment Steve was close to signing but refused when he learned that Wanda was confined. And later Wanda accuse him of having "locked her in her room."

But first of all it was not a room but an entire facility with everything you could need in it.

"Tony: It's a 100 acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. There's worse ways to protect people.."

And he didn't lock her up, he did this to protect her. Not only to protect her from jail, but also to protect her from the blame that she might receive, knowing too well the pain that it could cause.

And he made sure to ask Vision to stay with her, because he noticed that she likes him.

And when the battle starts he thinks about Wanda first and he prioritized to rescue her out of this mess.

"Tony: All right, there's two of the parking deck. One of them's Maximoff. I'm gonna grab her."

PETER

He had already spotted potential in Peter before. And when he meets him, he shows interest in him, he tries to find out who he is, and if Peter is a good person, before recruiting him.

"Tony: So you wanna look out for the little guy? You wanna do your part? Make the world a better place, all that, right?"

He trust him and believes in him when no one does.

"Tony: Do you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid."

Peter was already Spider-Man and Tony just gave him more protection with a new suit. He brings him into fight because he thought Captain wouldn't hurt him, and he still hoped they wouldn't have to fight at all at this moment.

+ he worries about him and asks him to stays safe.

"Peter: Hey, Mr. Stark, what should I do?" "Tony: What we discussed. Keep your distance. Web 'em up."

He watches over him and soon as something happens to him, Tony runs to him and asks him to go straight home to his aunt now.

"Tony: You did a good job. Stay down. [...] You're going home or I'll call Aunt May! You're done!"

---- Trying to stop the fights ----

Bucky managed to get away. Team Cap is officially outlawed, people have been hurt, and Tony blames himself.

He thinks it's his fault, because he didn't take his armor with him, because he was still hoping that things would just work out calmly.

Then Ross adds that if things had happened differently they are dead people who would be alive now. And he tells him that he will send his armed men to stop Steve and his team by force.

Tony is afraid that things will get worse, that the Avengers will split up, that more people will get hurt, he's afraid for his friends. He sees that what he's been trying to prevent all along is happenning.

He intervenes right away and asks Ross to go at the airport himself with Nat, hoping to still be able to change Steve's mind, to fix things, stop the fights, and protect everyone, instead of going after the TeamCap with Ross's "boys and bullets."

-- He looks exhausted and overwhelmed in this scene.

But when Natasha asks him how he is, he says that everything is fine. "Always."

He's always the one who suffers the most but he always takes everything on his shoulders and acts like he's okay. Because he doesn't want to disturb, because he's afraid to bother people with his problems and emotions. He keep everything for himself.

He goes to the airport telling himself that there is still hope. That Steve will understand that it's better to stay together as a team, as a family. That together they can face anything but that doing things on his own outside the law will only give people more reason to distrust them and see them as a threat.

He doesn't want them to have to live like this.

+ During the fight Tony is careful not to hurt anyone. He blows up things at a long distance of Clint and Wanda but never touch them. But them, they don't hesitate to dump dozens of cars on him and break his arm in the process.

At the end, Rhodey has an accident and is paralyze, and Tony blames himself again.

---- Blame for trying to protect everyone ----

So, since the beginning, all Tony has done is try to avoid collateral damage and keep everyone safe. He does everything to keep the Avengers together, help them, protect them and avoid the fights.

When Team Cap goes against the law, ignores 117 countries, and tears the team apart.

> But who does everyone blame for this (including Steve himself)? Tony.

> Ant-Man who doesn't even know him judges him right away

"Tony Stark: Who's speaking?" "Scott Lang: It's your conscience. We don't talk a lot these days."

And says that when Tony is the one who questions himself the most and blames himself for everything.

> Natasha betrays him and blames him for everything that has happened when he is the one who try everything to prevent this from happening.

"Natasha Romanoff: Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?"

When he realizes what's going on, even after all that's happened, if Rhodey is paralyzed and if he has a broken arm, he wants to go help Steve. So Tony goes to the Raft, also to see how they are all doing.

Tony is not the one who created this prison, he didn't think it would look like this at all.

Tony even worries about their treatment even though we never believe him to be sincere.

"Tony: They feed you yet?" "Sam: You're the good cop now?"

-- I mean look at his face, he's hurting and he didn't want this.

But they blame him again.

"Tony: Give me a break, Barton. I had no idea they'll put you here. Come on."

> Clint blames him for putting them there when it's just the consequences of HIS choice. He has a family and children, but he himself chose to go with Team Cap, to go outside the law.

"Tony: Alright, you're all grown up, you got a wife and kids. I don't understand, why didn't you think about them before you chose the wrong side?"

"Clint: You gotta watch your back with this guy. There's a chance he's gonna break it."

And he dares to blame him for what happened to Rhodey when he knows that Tony is obviously already very much to blame.

> Steve and Sam decided not to reveal the truth to Tony in the beginning. But he still blame this on Tony.

"Tony: I was wrong." "Sam: That's a first"

(Tony has always been the first to put everything on his shoulders so I will never understand this reaction)

---- Helping Steve ----

He goes to help Steve.

-- He seems so happy to be there and that they are together again, I want to cry

When he watches Zemo's video he doesn't understand and then realizes that he is about to witness the death of his parents before his eyes.

"Tony: I know that road. What is this?"

He understands that they did not die in a car accident as he always believed but that they were murdered. And by the man standing right next to him.

But on top of that, he learns that one of his best friends whom he trusted knew the truth for years but had never told him anything.

(Who dared to blame Tony in Avengers 2 saying that he doesn't like it when his teammates hide things from him)

And even when Tony asks him to his face if he knew about it all this time, Steve tells him straight to his face that he didn't before confessing the truth to Tony.

And after destroying him psychologically, instead of simply apologizing, they attack him very, very violently. They don't hesitate to rip off his arc reactor with hatred, Steve hits him several times with such anger and is close to kill him. Tony really thinks his "friend" is going to kill him right now.

(Tony didn't want to kill them or they would be dead. + He still has power in his hands but does not use it even at the last moment.)

When Steve leaves, Tony asks him for his shield back because he is disappointed in who Steve really is. He's not the man he thought he was, he is not the man Tony has heard about all his life. It was his father who created his shield. And Steve doesn't deserve it.

And he's left alone in Siberia, with a non-functional armor.

---- Going home -----

He goes to the Avengers compound for the first time after he fought with the Steve and see it empty because everyone has now left.

Ever since he was little, everyone around him always ends up leaving, abandoning or betraying him. And he thinks it's his fault, that he doesn't deserve them to stay.

+ When he get out of the cars he has an anti-stress ball in his hand, to stop injury and stress 😭

He stays by Rhodey's side throughout his rehabilitation, worries about him, makes things to help and support him.

And Steve's "apology" letter to him is not an apology at all. I always found his way of speaking in it arrogant.

---- After -----

And even after the trauma and all the sufferings he's been through, after seeing his parents get murdered, after everything they did to him, he still create things for them, he does everything to prepare everyone for the next attack, he makes them new technologies, new shield, new armor, he takes steve's phone everywhere with him, he gets a new arc reactor..

"After everything that's happened.. How can I not feel guilty? I got distracted, didn't focus on the real threat that's coming. I'll have to figure out how I can do it alone" - (Tony in the Civil War comic)

All Tony has ever done is take care of the people around him and everywhere. He has always treated the Avengers as his family and always gives everything for others without ever receiving anything in return.

He deserves better, so much better.

---

#BringBackTonyStarktolife

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