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Michelle’s Mindfulness on Music: an Interactive Twitter Narrative

*Michelle Betty* @pettybetty1017

Michelle had succumbed to the state of loneliness after becoming a freshman in college. She has always been a positive thinker; she has always been motivated in school, and she had always lived an active, happy lifestyle. But her soul was taken over by sadness after facing heartbreak.

Michelle and her boyfriend Johnny had been dating for three years during high school, but soon after graduation she went on to attend her dream college, Columbia University in New York. She had only been in school for shortly under a month and was still adjusting to being away from home. Her and Johnny always made time for each other daily over the phone. Sometimes it would be a little tricky for the two of them to make time, but they would still manage to catch up.

“What?” Michelle said in confusion, as she pressed her ear to the phone, “I don’t understand, John… I’m only two states away from you, Johnny.

“There’s not much to explain here, Mich.” Johnny replied in a curt manner, as he and Michelle exchanged conversations. “I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Now that you’re settled in at school, I think we should do our own thing. The distance isn’t worth it for us two.”

Michelle’s vocal fry peaked through the phone, but she made sure Johnny wouldn’t hear her break. She excused herself from the call so she could tend to the imaginary dinner she had cooking in the oven.

Michelle was anguished. She spent most of her pre-adult years with Johnny and couldn’t think of any reason why long distance wasn’t worth it for him, especially since it didn’t cross her mind once that it was ever a problem. Johnny was someone she looked forward to talking with at the end of the day, weather it was about something comical or frustrating that went on that day. He was the ear she would rely on for all of her daily stories.

Days after her and Johnny split, she spent most of the time in her room, lacking motivation in school, her social life, and her academic performance. Her grades started to slip and she didn’t know what to do to cope with such a life changing event. She even considered dropping out of school all together so her headspace could be in the right place again. Michelle’s emotions were eating her up inside.

“Was it something I did?” she would ask herself. “Or maybe it’s someone else… I knew I should have stayed at home for a year with him. He’s probably at home filling the gap with some other girl while I’m stuck here feeling miserable.”

She figured that finding any type of excuse towards his reason for breaking up with her would potentially help her move on. She even tried becoming angry with the whole situation; maybe if she had fingers to point at him, some of the stressful emotions would be lifted from Michelle’s shoulders.

Michelle didn’t find any of this helpful at all. In fact, nothing seemed to be benefiting her mood when she would implement distractions on her day. She started isolating herself daily to the point where even her friends didn’t want to be around her negativity.

“Why does one change in my life cause other people to leave me too? I’m stuck in a domino effect of bad luck.”

This thought really pushed her down further in her negative emotions. Michelle was tired of feeling sorry for herself. She missed having a connection with people and most importantly, she missed sharing laughs with her close group of friends. Johnny was the last person on her mind at this point, and all she was missing now was just a genuine connection with people.

The only piece of comfort Michelle got out of her day was through social media after she had physically separated herself from human interaction. Social media was the one thing that gave her a sense of belonging again. Seeing that little red emoticon heart pop up on her instagram feed allowed her to feel a pinch of gratification, but only for a slight moment. She craved this feeling heavily each day to where she would even find herself venting about her problems on Twitter, hoping for someone to notice her pain.

Michelle considered herself an expert in the field of social media, but mainly because she was studying Social Media Strategy at her University. She was aware of how users can rely on social media platforms to deliver messages to a larger audience in a quick and efficient way. This also allowed her to recognize how effective hashtags can be over such social platforms. She often found reliable sites and pages through hashtags that related to her own personal life, gaining that small sense of comfort back again for a short while. This reminded Michelle of how she once relied on specific hashtags that would lead her to tips and articles on healthy eating, workout routines, and even beauty routines. She would always utilize these tips, especially before moving away to school. This gave her an idea:

“what can Twitter do for me to help with my mental health instead of my physical health?” she asked herself.

As she was trying to cope with her emotional trauma through Twitter, she began using the hashtag #depressed as a cry for help. As seen on her Twitter feed, she overshared about her issues and several of her friends believed that her oversharing on twitter was a way to gain attention from Johnny, but she was feeling so separated from the world that this was her only way of venting her emotional problems.

Using the hashtag #Depressed led Michelle to share her story with others that were also feeling this way over Twitter. This connected her to others that have gone through similar situations, and it even connected her to a page that shared coping mechanisms for her specific mood changes. After reading several articles through the #Depressed page, she stumbled upon one specific article that provided some good insight on what music can do for the human brain.

“Music helps control blood pressure?” Michelle read aloud as curiosity sparked her interest.

She was puzzled by this statement after reading an article from Digde Project, something she found through twitter and the #depression hashtag. This article talks about the several ways in which music improves multiple disorders, including a few that she had been struggling with as of recently. She had noticed that her depression has recently been causing panic attacks that kept her from falling asleep at night. In this article, AJ Block states that The Cardiovascular Society of Great Britain recently discovered that some genres of music can in fact match up with our rhythmic beat as humans, causing the heart to slow down and relax.

Not only does Block touch base on how music can relax the human heartbeat, but it is also stated that McGill University in Canada had conducted a study on how music can positively affect the chemicals in the brain. Dopamine is a great chemical, especially when the brain is doing its’ job at producing it. According to McGill University, music acts as a stimulant for the brain, jumpstarting it to regularly produce this happy hormone once again.

“I don’t remember the last time I updated my music playlist on Spotify.” Michelle thought to herself.

Eager, she took her phone out and began scrolling. She scanned through several old bands and artists she once enjoyed, which made it hard for her to pick a song out to test-drive this theory. She then took it upon herself to create a specific playlist incorporating “feel-good songs” in it that she once loved.

She plugged her headphones in and rolled onto her bed, staring at the ceiling fan. As she watched the fan spin on low-speed above her, she became unaware that her toes were keeping beat with Kevin Morby as he sang through her ears, an old favorite musician of hers. As her ankles and toes began to softly dance, she realized all the movement in the room was in perfect sync.

The fan spinning, her toes wiggling, and the soft voice of Kevin Morby through her headphones; Michelle could feel her eyelids become very heavy as she actually relaxed for the first time in awhile. She missed this sense of comfort that once overwhelmed her body, and Michelle was finally at ease from her thoughts.

#music and mood #depression #coping #protips

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