minikawa

[minikawa]

when edgar allan poe said “tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.” and when hozier said “i wouldn’t fall for someone i thought couldn’t misbehave.”

#hnnng #...the otp feels q.q

[minikawa]

mending

Bjorn’s lips thinned in consternation (which was unfair, really, as he had the nicest mouth, full lips for biting and sucking, the feel of them against his neck…) “You’re such a hypocrite,” he said, shaking his head as he folded up the needle and catgut and stowed them into his pack.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, hypocrite. I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve lectured me for being reckless, taking foolish risks that weren’t necessary, at least not in your opinion. So you don’t have any right to chastise me for doing the same to you.”

“Don’t I?”

Bjorn pulled the bandage taut, perhaps a little more than necessary, his eyes blazing. “No. You don’t.”

How annoying, how thrilling, when he got like this; so intent it seemed he could see through flesh and sinew and bone, straight to the heart of him. “So what will you do if I keep doing it? Really, Bjorn, if anyone’s the hypocrite here –”

In one staggering moment, Bjorn swept aside his kit and pushed Askeladd back into the pallet with so much force that when his head the pillow, a little ‘oof’ escaped him in his surprise. Then Bjorn was above him, pressing into him, those confounding lips on his neck, kissing, biting. “I’ll chastise you,” Bjorn breathed, until Askeladd shuddered in his arms.

the rest on ao3

#im still on tumblr hiatus but i have to reblog because GUYS GO READ THIS IT IS FUCKING AMAZING AND IM SCREECHING #IVE BEEN CRYING FOR THE PAST 40 MINUTES NOW IM NOT EVEN JOKING #THIS IS THE ASKEJORN SMUT WE DESERVE #askejorn #vinland saga #nsfw #i rlly rlly rlly love this sm

[minikawa]

Ok so i lied and THIS will be my update for today and....i dont know how long ^^;

Im so sorry again for scaring you guys. I was in a rlly dark place (still kind of am) but im a little more clearheaded now. I feel rlly bad for scaring you guys and im rlly sorry. But please know im still here and still breathing.

I may still go on a bit of a break here. Or at least i wont be super active for a few days. I give myself a week at least, just to figure things out. I'll still be on discord tho to communicate with ppl, cuz i cant get by completely on my own. But my blog here and prolly on twjtter might be quiet. Hopefully not for too long.

Tha k you to everyone again for your kind messages and your love. Thank you for being so patient, and for loving me when i couldnt love myself. You guys are beautiful and cherished and deserve to be happy. Thank you. I love you

[minikawa]

。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡        ♡   。・゜                   ♡           .               .♡             ・ 。       。・゜ ♡  

I love you so much, please stay alive

    。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡        ♡   。・゜                   ♡           .           .♡   ♡   。・゜   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。   

[minikawa]

last update for...idk how long

im not okay still. i cant breathe without it hurting.  i dont see anything in myself that’s worth loving or deserving of happiness. im insignificant and replaceable and i’m so scared of being forgotten and abandoned but i can’t chain ppl to myself forever. i feel so selfish for wanting to feel loved, for wanting validation and attention. i feel so stupid and needy but how can i expect validation from other ppl when i can’t even give it to myself. and the more i act like this, the more i hurt the ones i love and it kills me even more.

i dont know when my next update will be. i promise i won’t do anything stupid. but i need to just disappear for a bit. im scared that if i do go, i’ll be forgotten and i won’t mean anything anymore. but i don’t want to keep chaining ppl to me and keeping you prisoner. 

for anyone reading this however unlikely that may be, thank you for being there for me and being patient with me. i love you and i want you to be happy. please look after yourselves. please be happy. i cant say enough how much i aprpeciate everyone who said something kind to me, or gave me encouragement when i couldn’t do that for myself. you all deserve to be happy. 

[minikawa]

Nother pointless update: m still trying to be patient with myself. Doing a better job at it today than yesterday. Still got kind of mean to myself earlier and its still hard to completely distract myself. I wanna get back to working on all my unfinished wips but rn im not ready to do so without feeling the pressure. Being patient and taking life at my own pace is kind of frustratinf but im hoping i'll get there

[minikawa]

❤️

#mino art #k2dk #this is messy and gross #but im low key a mess today sooo felwkjfw;kljfw

[minikawa]

I don't know what words could ease your heart but I just want you to know that your blog and YOU brought me genuine happiness at times, I know you're suffering and it feels like living hell ,it just pains me so much to read these updates and know that I can't do or say anything to relieve all what you're going through but I wholeheartedly want you to know that I bear nothing but love for you and I'm sending my own blessings to you and I know they'll reach you. please tell us how we could help

baby i wish i could say more than thank you so much and i love you. if i could i’d give you the biggest hug, and i’d tell you how much these words just bring so much light even though im in a very dark and scary place rn. it’s been so hard to stay strong lately, but im so blessed knowing there are kind and loving people out there like you. baby i hope you know how loved you are, and how important and valued you are. thank you so much baby i love you so much

#mino madness #<3 #we crying in the club tonight!!!

[minikawa]

Last update today: i wanna put this shit under a cut put mobile wong let me do that so...warning for suicide mention and self harm mention.

Im in a bathroom crying. I couldnt hold it. All i can think about right now is ending everything. I dont see anything in my future rn. Im trying to think of all the reasons why i shouldnt go thru with it. There are ppl i love who i don't wanna leave behind. But i feel like everyone would be happier without me. And its jist im so far behind in life, and the future is so uncertain and dark rn. Even before this whole mess started happenig outside, i was still slipping and falling behind and fucking everything up. I keep messing up every time i try, and i feel like im not going anywhere with my life. Its just so exhausting to keep going even tho im hardly moving.

I dont think i'll actually go thru with ending my life because in the end im too scared. And im never able to finish anything. But at the same time i dont know what to do with this life im wasting. Im never gonna amount to anything or be successful at anything. And the longer im here the more i bother ppl or drive them away. And its just so lonely and everything hurts so much. I dont know how to make myself happy. I hate myself so much and i just want everything to stop.

#vent #negativr #delete later #tw suicide mention #tw suicide ideation

[minikawa]

Im sorry my updates arent happier

[minikawa]

Update: im not ok rn. Im trying so hard not to just break down crying in public. I want my brain to shut up and be quiet for a while cuz im at work and i have to stay strong but rn i just feel so vulnerable and broken rn. I should be used to the stupid thoughts abt not being good enough or not being loved by now, but it just hurts even more. And im scared of accidentally getting sick while im out, im trying to be careful but im scared i'll make a mistake and itll ruin everytjing. Im a huge mess rn and i want to go home and sleep and not exist. I dont want to exist. Im scared. Im scared of how uncertain the future is, im scared tjay things wont get better, and im scared of myself and that my thougjts are right. Im so scared rn

#vent #negative #delete later #sorry

[minikawa]

もかろーる

[minikawa]

I’m getting a little bored of this curse of yours, Ashitaka. Let me just cut the damn thing off!

Princess Mononoke (1997) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[minikawa]

i got in my head again and i made myself feel bad :’)

#negative #im okay i just made myself sad #im too hard on myself #im trying my best and i know i need to just...take life one day at a time #i need to be more gentle with myself but #im just not where i wanna be right now #i dont feel good enough for myself again #i'll be okay tho it just...takes a while for me to stop feeling this way

[minikawa]

by  elly.rose.burrowes

[minikawa]

sometimes the heart's like !!!!!!!! and there's nothing you can do about it

[minikawa]

i can’t draw in the morning flewjfw 

here’s a k2dk character i had for a long ass time but never drew until now xD Meet Hime’s personal assistant, Igor Ignatiev, or just ‘Ig’ (or as hime calls him: ‘IGGYYYYYY’). Ig handles stuff like fixing her schedule, booking her gigs, assisting her with makeup or fixing her outfits,or stopping her from eating soap that looks too much like candy XD His background is a mystery, even to Hime. He’s crazy intelligent, is super techno-savvy, and is scary talented when it comes to handling knives. Hime speculates that Ig was some kind of secret agent in the past. 

As Hime’s personal assistant, he’s constantly involved with all of Hime’s chaotic plans and has gotten... “scuffed up” more than once in her schemes. but although he’s always tired and he complains a lot, he is essentially the Number One Hime Stan. The two of them don’t always understand each other, but in the end they’re each other’s best friend and they’ll always have each others’ backs.

#mino art #k2dk #original character #ive been wanting to show u guys ig for a while now!! #there's so much more buuut- #i just rlly like loyal characters who may not always understand their bosses but are essentially ride or die i love them #and i wanted to do that with ig #also forgot to mention that even tho he's her personal assistant...he can be kind of bossy toward her too xD #sometimes hime will want to do something but ig will be like 'boss no that's not wise' or 'boss with all due respect...what the fuck' #he's not afraid to call her out on her bullshit xD