minismalgrievances

[minismalgrievances]

Hi guys!! I know I have literally 2 followers but still advertising.

My friend is publishing a book and it would be amazing if you guys could check it out :)))

I'm linking it's advertisement below, so please just take a look at least!

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sparks-of-rebellion-by-toby-cerezo#/

[minismalgrievances]

Me: This piece isn't hard at all

My band director: Did you say something?

Me: Wh-where did those 64ths come from?

My band director:

Me:

My band director: I have no idea what you're talking about

#whydoesmyteacheradd64thrunstoaniceandeasypiece #band #idontlikeit #doyoueverjustwantnoodles #becauseido

[minismalgrievances]

It’s the year 2030. They’re making a Harry Potter remake, not a modern adaptation but set in the original era. And it’s fucking indulgent in 90s nostalgia. Someone’s got a butterfly clip, Ron is wearing a choker, there’s muggles playing with pogs, Spice Girls is playing in the background. Voldemort is wearing a crop top.

It’s simultaneously the worst and fucking best thing you’ve ever seen.

[minismalgrievances]

This is literally cuz I started the game and want to unlock the social media part lol

#video games

[minismalgrievances]

Or just accidentally miss a note or measure or page or two and end up with a prolonged rest that you really feel stabbing you hahaha.....

Rests aren’t something you count in band, they are something you feel inside.

[minismalgrievances]

Oof dead

college level theory exams

aural skills section: major vs minor chords, dominant seventh chords, short chord progressions, two part melodic dictation, maybe some sight singing,

written theory section: analyze mahler's fifth symphony in ten minutes, fix the problem of the comma pump in a just intonation system of tuning, summon schoenberg from the dead,

[minismalgrievances]

Me: I feel like this competition will come out well

Piano: hahaha sure just let me redo my keys so they're a bit out of tune there

Head: don't forget the worrying and anxiousness because you know you're not going to do well and every one is watc-

Hands: lol I'm cold

Me: yeah.. everything is going to be great

#piano #stress #i'm trying

[minismalgrievances]

We need those oboes who through sharp small knives at people with either deadly accuracy or complete inaccuracy

Band Instruments As Assassin Squads

Because why the hell not

Flutes: Ruthless, cold, efficient perfections. Well executed assassinations down to the detail without leaving any evidence. Only held together by the fact that everyone’s got a knife to everyone else’s back, ready to stab them.

Clarinets: The experienced ones are about as deadly as the flutes while the newbies come sloppy and unorganized. By time the newbies are pros, there’s a new batch to teach. They have more camaraderie than the flutes.

Saxophones: Big guns, wacky masks, all but one of them have bad aim. The bari sax is a bazooka. Generally loud and flashy.

Oboe: The solo worker who occasionally teams up with the flutes or bassoons.

Bassoons: Duos or trios who sometimes work with the oboe or the clarinets.

Trumpets: Loud braggarts who use various methods to tally their kills. Brag about being discreet but one of them will always get caught at some point.

Trombones: Snipers who fall asleep waiting for their mark. Like to slather mud all over their faces even though it gives them absolutely no advantage.

Euphoniums: They set discreet bombs. But they can never agree in codenames or signals so trying to communicate with each other is really confusing.

Tubas: They use their abnormally strong arms to knock the target out in one punch, then inject them with venom that kills them. They chop up the body and hide the parts in their tubas then dump the parts in various dumpsters.

Percussionists: Elaborate torture devices that make you question their kinks. They keep trophies of their kills in their secret basements. Speak in an elaborate code that no one else can understand.

[minismalgrievances]

a mini lesson in musical terminology

piano

FORTE

ᵖᶦᵃⁿᶦˢˢᶦᵐᵒ

FORTISSIMO

ᶜʳesCENDO

DIMINuenᵈᵒ

SFᵒʳzaNDO

a   d   a   g   i   o

a n d a n t e

allegro

rit a r  d  a   n   d    o

a    c    c   e   l  e  r a ndo

stac- ca- to-

leeggggaaatttoooo

[minismalgrievances]

Now I know why musicians are cultists

Literally there's a ritualistic circle thing here made from the circle of fifths

#music theory #band member #piano #circle of fifths #cult #yes