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noahzanehethey · 9 months

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If I Can Dream

22 - Answer’s Gonna Come Somehow

art credit: @lazylittledragon on tumblr / lazyjunebug on twitter. these specific panels are from the digital zine juno posted. go buy and support!!!!! there’s so many phenomenal works in there and it’ll warm your little heart.

cw: n/a :)

Year: 1995

“And what’s that?” Bobby pointed to Dustin’s book.

“That’s a character guide,” Dustin smiled.

“And that?”

“Guide to NPCs.”

“What’s an NPC?”

“Non-playable character,” Dustin chuckled.

“And those?”

“Villains. Bobbs, did you know that your papa is a dungeon master? He knows a lot more about this stuff than I do.”

“Whoa, really!”

“Yes, really.”

“And what’s the game called again?”

“DnD.”

“Got it. Papa!”

Bobby ran from her play room into the living room. Eddie was sitting on the couch, completing the finishing details for the campaign he’d be running later that day. Bobby crashed into the couch and rested her chin on the arm rest.

“Papa?”

“Hi, pumpkin,” Eddie smiled.

“What’s D-n-D?”

Eddie’s eyes shot open as he looked to his little girl. He set down his pencil and notepad as he slid to his knees. He braced his hands on Bobby’s shoulders and pulled her close.

“Bobby Judas, my sweet, sweet girl. I need to tell you, with every fiber of my being, that this is the best day of my life.”

Bobby smiled proudly as her father whisked her into his lap and explained what he was doing with his latest campaign. She reclined back onto him as she was sucked into the enchanting fantasy world.

“And what’s your character, papa?”

“I was initially a bard, but since becoming dungeon master, I’ve been a vampire—Kas—Vecna’s second lieutenant.”

“What’s daddy?”

“Daddy doesn’t have a character.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno, pumpkin.”

“Daddy!” She yelled.

Steve’s ears rang at his daughter’s shrill shriek echoed throughout the house. He dried his hands on a rouge dish towel and wandered off to find the hell spawn.

“Yes, Bobby?”

“How come you don’t have a DnD character?” she asked.

“Because I don’t play.”

“But why not?”

“I never really understood it.” He shrugged and tussled her hair.

“Hey,” she whined.

“Oh, sorry, bug, I forgot you had hair clips in. Here, let me fix them.” He knelt to her height and unclipped her barrettes, promptly fixing them. “Better?”

“Mhmm.” She kicked her legs, accidentally knocking Eddie’s knees and shins.

“Ow, Bobbs, be careful, please,” Eddie said.

“Sorry, papa. So, do I have a character?”

“You do, actually,” Eddie smiled proudly. “On your first birthday, we threw you a DnD themed party where everyone came dressed as their characters. Since you didn’t have one yet, I made you one.”

“What am I‽” She gasped.

“You, my dear, are a first level Neutral Good Human Paladin.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you are destined to be the best person you could possibly be. You’re adaptable and take adventure seriously—I noticed all that when you were a baby, and I still stand by it.”

“Papa, can I play with you guys tonight?”

“I can ask the rest of The Party, but there shouldn’t be any issue, pumpkin. Dustin!”

“Yeah?” he hollered back.

“Why’re you still in my daughter’s playroom? Come here, please!”

“What?” He asked, running down the stairs. “Everything okay?”

“No, Henderson, why would you introduce my child to DnD?” Steve asked, hands resting on his hips. “Now it’s two against one,” he teased.

“Ignore him,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Would you mind if Bee joined us during our campaign tonight?”

“No, not at all. What would she be doing?”

“Well, I’ll start her off as second in command as dungeon master, then when it’s safe enough, we’ll work her in. Does that sound good, Bobbs?”

“Yeah!”

“Wonderful.”

“Does this mean it’s gonna be more tame?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffed, “as if my hell spawn couldn’t handle my sadistic campaign. Who do you think I raised?”

By four o’clock, the entirety of The Party arrived at the Harrington residence for an early dinner, prepared by Steve. The boys (and Bobby) dug in and by five o’clock, the game had started. Eddie lugged Bobby into his lap and leaned back in his masters thrown.

“Bee, you may begin,” he said.

In the deepest, gruffest voice she could muster up, Bobby leaned forward, only eyes peering over the master guide, and she set the scene for the campaign. Her voice changed with each character, however, sputtering a bit whenever she couldn’t pronounce something. Eddie would match whatever voice or tone she was putting on and sound out the words with her.

When Eddie knew it was safe for Bobby’s character to enter, he sat his daughter down in her own chair and set the stage to introduce her. He flipped his locks back and smiled proudly at his little twin.

“As you clear the luscious green hills after conquering the stampede of trolls, you encounter a lone traveler. Human, state your name and class,” Eddie announced.

“I’m Bonnie Priest, a level one, pala… pala… papa, help, please…” She leaned forward in her chair, kicking her legs aimlessly.

“Paladin,” he whispered.

“Level one paladin!” she cheered. “And I’m ready to defeat Vecna!”

Eddie quietly chuckled as he admired his daughter’s spirits. As she continued with her opening speech, he whispered, “that’s my girl.”

Unfortunately, the night came to an end quicker than usual, as Bobby’s bedtime approached faster than most assumed. Steve entered the basement at eight sharp to collect Bobby and get her ready for bed. With much protest, he managed to get Eddie to wrap up the one-shot and persuade the spawn upstairs.

But as soon as Steve scooped her up in his arms, she was dozing off within seconds. Eddie was left to say goodbye to The Party as Steve was doing Bobby’s nighttime routine. When it came to her bedtime story, she refused to sleep until Eddie read to her.

“Pumpkin, you’ve spent all night with papa—I’ve missed you. We usually have our movie and coloring night tonight. Can’t daddy read you a story to make up for it?”

“But papa does voices,” She pouted.

“I can do voices too. What do you want to read? Just tell me what you want, and if you don’t like it, then I’ll get papa, okay?”

“Okay…”

“What do you want to read?”

“Tell Tale Heart.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again…”

“Alright, I’ll grab it.”

While Steve put in a valiant effort, Bobby still demanded to be read to by Eddie. For days to come, Bobby clung to Eddie more than usual, taking a particular interest in his hobbies.

One day, when Steve was stuck at work, Eddie picked Bobby up from school on his own. He sent her into the den to complete her homework—he was over in the next room plucking his guitar and scribbling down new lyrics. When she was finished, she wandered in and sat at Eddie’s feet.

“Hi, pumpkin,” he smiled.

“Can I play?” she asked.

“You can try,” he chuckled. “It may be a bit too big for you, but go for it.”

He handed the acoustic guitar over to her, sitting behind her to hold it and guide her hands. While her strumming was deafening, Eddie still egged her on, not wanting her to give up on any potential hobbies.

“You know, daddy used to sing to you before you were born,” Eddie said.

“Did he?”

“Oh, yeah, it was horrific.”

“Was it?” Bobby giggled.

“No, it wasn’t bad,” Eddie smiled. “God, he has loved you since day one, pumpkin.”

“You didn’t?” she pouted.

“No, of course I did, but… I dunno… I initially never wanted kids, but daddy? He wanted like five of them. He was so excited when he found out I was pregnant. But me? Lord, I was terrified. I love you more than life itself, Bobbs, but I was so, unbelievably scared at first.”

“That’s okay, papa. Babies are scary.”

“Yes, they are,” he laughed.

“Hello?” Steve called, walking through the front door.

“Hi, honey,” Eddie beamed.

“Hi, daddy!” Bobby cheered, storming the door and attacking him with hugs.

“Oh, bug, it’s only been like eight hours,” he chuckled.

“I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, pumpkin. What’re you doing? Playing guitar with papa?”

“Mhmm!”

“Learn anything?”

“Not yet.”

“But she’s getting there,” Eddie added. “Just a little more practice and she’ll be a pro.”

The family went about their evening as normal, ending with the boys putting Bobby to bed with a story of her choosing. Once she was sound asleep, they headed back downstairs to tidy up before hitting the hay themselves. As Steve washed the dishes, and Eddie scrubbed the counters, Steve let out a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think… have you noticed… uh…”

“Uh? What’s wrong, Stevie?”

“Do you think Bee’s been a bit, I dunno… off lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s just been bouncing from hobby to hobby. A lot more than most kids her age do.”

“So? She’s just curious.”

“No, Eds, what I’m…” Steve trailed off.

“What?”

“I think she has either ADHD or ADD…”

“Why do you say that?”

“Think about it, Eddie. Her grades have been slipping a bit, she had that weird stint with a temper last year, and now she’s trying to take on a million new hobbies at once. Her brain is going a million miles a minute.“

“So? I was that same way when I was a kid.”

“And you graduated high school three years late.”

“Yeah, alright, you make a good point,” he sighed. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I think we should take her to see someone… or at least start with talking to her teachers to see how she’s focusing and participating in class.”

“If you think it’s necessary, then I say let’s go for it. After all, this is your line of work.”

“Sorta.”

“Closer than mine,” Eddie shrugged. “But, Stevie, even if she has ADHD, would you really want her to be on medication so young? I mean, she’s barely seven.”

“I mean, kids can start taking small doses of medication as young as six. There’s a lot of research in this. I think it would be more beneficial to treat her and hopefully benefit her in the long run than to keep her off it.”

“If you say so…”

Several weeks passed and after a lot of conversation with several professionals, Bobby was eventually diagnosed with combined type ADHD. To accommodate both the boy’s wishes, she was initially placed in both behavioral therapy to try and gain control over some of her outbursts, then if that failed, they’d move on to medication.

Bobby wasn’t taking the treatment as well as they boys had hoped. She always threw a fit whenever they brought her in for her weekly appointments. She said that she felt like an outcast—a freak—and that was the last thing Eddie wanted for her.

Steve tried explaining that it was totally normal for some kids needing extra help in school, but she wouldn’t hear any of it. Instead, she barely spoke or even participated in her treatment sessions, so the boys were left with no choice but to start medication.

“I hate this,” Eddie sighed. “I really, really hoped she wouldn’t get any of my bad traits.”

“Bad traits? Ed, honey, it’s not a ‘bad trait’… she just learns a bit differently than others, and that’s okay. It’s normal.”

“She said she feels like a freak, Steve,” he teared up. “I grew up as the freak. Hell, even you, my own husband, used to call me a freak. I never wanted that for her.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a freak, Ed. Hell, I was labeled a ‘King’, and now I’m nothing but a lowly social worker. But you? Eds, you have albums out, you open for huge bands, and you’ve been on tour. There’s worse things to be than a ‘freak’.”

“I guess so,” he sighed. “I just know the feeling and it sucks. Kids are so mean. I just hope no one’s being mean to her at her new school.”

“If they are, then we pull her completely and just home-school her. At least that way you’ll be able to tour again,” Steve teased.

“Pfft, please. I’d rather her stay in school.”

“Why?”

“So she gets socialized and makes friends. At her age, it’s more important than traveling.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Steve took a sip of his coffee before glancing at the time and choking on his gulp. “Shit, we haven’t gotten her up yet. She’s gonna be late.”

“Fuck, I’ll get her. You start breakfast. Go, team, go!”

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