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Steter prompt: "No one warned me you were a morning person."

Stiles climbs slowly out of sleep and frowns slightly. Something is wrong. Something is missing. Still half asleep, he pats around the bed. Nothing. There’s supposed to be something. Someone? 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” a far too cheerful voice rings out. Stiles groans and rolls onto his back. “I’m making breakfast. Requests?”

Stiles waves a hand around, ultimately flopping it into his own face.

“Translation?” Peter prompts.

“Oh my god, no one warned me that you were a morning person,” Stiles groans. “I’m sorry, Peter, but this relationship just isn’t going to work.”

“The murder is fine, but my circadian rhythm is a deal breaker?” Peter says dryly.

“People are plentiful, sleep is precious.” Stiles pulls the duvet over his head and buries his face in the pillow. 

“Breakfast?”

“Pancakes,” Stiles mumbles into the pillow. Mornings. Ugh.

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People worry about their fics being unoriginal whereas I read a good fic and I'm like "wow!! I hope I can find another fic exactly like this one to read"

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Post-snap, on-ship Starker AU that won't leave my brain

The journey back to Earth will take decades, so Peter makes Tony use a stasis chamber. Tells him, “I can’t do this without you, and you need to live long enough to get us home.”

Peter wakes Tony every few years to fix whatever engineering issue needs resolving. And though Peter had promised he’d use a stasis chamber too – every time he wakes Tony, Peter is changed, aged. Even though he claims he slept.

The last time Peter wakes him, he has gone grey and they are still 40 years out.

“Kid,” Tony feels on the verge of tears. He runs his hands over Peter’s thinning hair, over the crows feet at his eyes.

“It’s okay Mr Stark,” Peter smiles, wobbly. “I just wanted to catch up with you.”

Even though Peter is older than him now, has spent an entire life without him, living an insane lonely life watching over Tony. Even though Peter’s bones ache, and Tony has to help him around the ship now. Despite all that, Peter’s still his to protect. Still “kid” in his mind.

So before Peter can put him back into stasis, Tony destroys the system. Because getting back doesn’t matter if it means Peter won’t make it. And if Tony had gotten back in that box, the next time he would’ve seen Peter would’ve been the last.

“No-no you’ve got to make it back, Mr Stark.”

“Not without you.”

“Please, I-”

“No, you listen to me baby. You’re it for me. This ship, this life – I choose this. I want to grow old with you, while I still have the chance. So let’s just be together, please. For as long as we have left.”

And so they float. A single dimming light among the stars. Drifting incrementally closer to the home planet they’ll never see again. But happy and together, for the rest of their lives.

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a comic about fix-it fanfics

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My heart…

We’ve all agreed that Aziraphale dresses to broadcast a friendly appearance. But I’m here to argue that’s only a secondary reason for the colors he chooses for his outfits.

The more I look at Aziraphale’s outfits, the more I just see the deuteranopia visual spectrum. I’m not saying whether or not Crowley actually is colorblind, but I am definitely saying that Aziraphale knows snakes to be dichromatic, and dresses specifically so that he knows his outfits appear the same to him as they do to Crowley. Crowley’s eyes are anatomically those of a snake, so that’s a logical conclusion for Aziraphale to make.

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Love when writers do an insane amount of unnecessary research for their fics. I follow an author that did like 8 months of intense research into 14th century Scotland so they could write smut about it, and guess what. It was some fucking incredible porn AND I learned about old Scottish politics

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Prompt:

Mob Au

Tony's private chef dies[murdered]/quit(went missing) and the normally stoic Winter Soldier offers to bring his secret( people know he has someone but not who) boyfriend in.

Cause

1. Let's him see his boyfriend more cause he would be the live in chef

2. Gives him more protection

3. He likes to show off.

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Me when something LGBTQ+ happens in my LGBTQ+ series with the LGBTQ+ characters that I watch because they are LGBTQ+ and have LGBTQ+ characters: 🤯

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In one timeline we kiss but the stars don’t come down. In another you set a world on fire for me but I perish in the flames. Somewhere there’s a final space where your hand on my face is the punchy climax to an epic saga, where the way our mouths meet takes the breath right out of people’s throats. One universe has us right, of all the millions stacked on millions. So it’s not this one. I can live with that.

— Elisabeth Hewer

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and maybe i’m too blind to see, the line was always crossed in me

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Yes, I’ve done the work analyzing this relationship’s problematic traits and I’ve come to the educated conclusion that I still want them to fuck

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IMAGINE THIS

Tony doesn’t think Peter would ever want him because he’s old, and let’s face it… Tony feels super guilty for being infatuated with a seventeen year old so there’s no way he’s going to act on it…

Well, not as himself anyway.

So Tony catfishes Peter on Instagram.  Fake name, fake photos of a much younger man.

SGHJFDJSAFGSA I don’t know where I’m going with this.  Like, maybe Tony just wants to know what it feels like to have Peter flirting with him or maybe he’s going into it hoping for some dick pics.  Idk.  But either way I think this idea is hot and if anyone wants to write something about it please do and tag me!

#starker #catfishing au #i love this shit

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Would you kneel inside the confessional for me? Settled right between my legs, my cassock draped over you to shield you from God's ever watchful eyes?

I know you want to darling. I know you want to suck my cock as I offer penance to my parishioners. I know that you hope to do well enough to earn the toe of my shoe placed just so between your trembling thighs.

It'll be hours before we're done, best to make yourself comfortable. Afterwards the real fun can begin.

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Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

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Steddyhands is fun because each of them have a Type even tho at first glance it would appear they do not

Stedes type is Leather Wearing Dressed All In Black Competent At Pirating Could Probably Kill Me Has Probably Stabbed Me, I Could Fix Him

Izzys type is disaster drama students who are entirely Extra about everything they do in life (and who will send him to an early grave or at the very least give him a headache)

Eds type is bitchy, stubborn men who dress in fine clothing (LOOK at Izzy folks and tell me I'm wrong his outfit is on point and kinda formal looking) and who he trusts enough to Know His Secret About Killing. Also he must be their gay awakening AND they should be vaguely closeted

#ofmd #steddy hands #why is this so accurate tho

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So I’m writing a fic where Ed and Stede reunite and they don’t immediately talk about what happened, and having a renewed appreciation for how the whole episode 9/10 situation must have seemed SO confusing and painful from Ed’s POV. And really the more information you have the worse it gets.

Because if you’re Ed and you don’t have any idea about Stede’s deep-seated trauma and insecurity and self-loathing, and you don’t know about what happened with Badminton, the story goes like this:

So you managed to get both Stede and yourself out of what seemed like certain death (THANKS IZZY) and you’re in service to the navy for 10 years which is not great, long-term, but you’re honestly so relieved that Stede is alive and you’re together and you can drop the Blackbeard persona for a bit that you’re not really thinking long-term; you’re just taking a minute to breathe. And then you take a chance and kiss Stede and he kisses back!! And says he wants to run away with you!! He says it three times!! You weren’t really thinking about escape plans right now but Stede keeps talking about it so you make one, and you wait for Stede, and he doesn’t show.

It seems clear that Ed was never seriously worried that something had happened to prevent Stede from meeting him–if he was truly worried about that, I think he would have gone back to look for him even if it was dangerous. So his conclusion must have been that Stede decided he, Ed, wasn’t worth the risk of skipping out on the Act of Grace after all. Hey I willingly gave up everything for you and I thought we were on the same page about how we felt about each other and I thought we were both willing to take a chance on new lives together but guess not. Cool cool cool got it.

Then imagine he hears that Stede went back to Bridgetown. Ah, okay, now it makes sense. Stede got a little too close to the very real risks of a pirate’s life and wanted to go back to his posh safe rich people world. Who wouldn’t? And maybe Ed was just a dalliance or a plaything or a means to an end of escaping the academy and it’s his own idiot fault for expecting otherwise. Why would someone like Stede ever choose him when he had all that to go back to? Why would someone like him ever get to make a life with someone like Stede?

Then he hears that Stede died. Then he hears HOW Stede died and it’s so obviously a fuckery. Then he starts hearing stories and rumors and is eventually able to piece it together that Stede’s back, pirating again.

Ah, he thinks. So he did want a pirate’s life after all. He just didn’t want me.

#no my heart #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

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yesterday I talked to my sister about how most of my ships are like:

Person A: dark-haired, queer guy

Person B: light-haired bisexual guy and idk what to say about that

#why is this so accurate #steter #geraskier #johnlock #destiel #narlie #bagginshield #steddie #stony #starblazer #like dude