notsosleepycatwritingdump

[notsosleepycatwritingdump]

hey everyone reblog this for a surprise :3 :3 :3

[notsosleepycatwritingdump]

Idk why people feel comforted by my presence. Like I'm: short, quiet, and have been known to throw things.

#like i threw my sports bag at a wall and a girl looked at me dead serious and said “you'd so win a fight” #iconic #she fought my cousin #and won #behaviour

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Thomas: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Thomas: Newt is still mad about it, but me and Minho were drunk and thought it was funny.

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liberté, egalité, fraternité et yaoi

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Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I have paragraph breaks

some of you need to romanticise the fucking paragraph break

[notsosleepycatwritingdump]

A dance

I listen to the soft rustle of midnight wind in the tall winter grass. I can't sleep. The bed I share contains my physical body like a coffin, trapping me underground with no escape. All I can do is listen, listen to her soft breathing and the crash of ocean waves that seem louder than they are.

Is it that I can't sleep, or is it that I refuse it? She loves me so much, yet I cannot return her yearning. I am only able to entertain her emotions.

Why do I always feel like this?

Why can't I just feel my emotions?

I analyse her relaxed face, so peaceful. I sigh and turn over in the itchy bedsheets, I know I'll ruin that for her. Ruin it with the hesitation of my heart, the instinct to keep all my thoughts and burdens to myself. The refusal to move fast, the refusal to not touch her intimately like her friend's stories. I'll destroy us because I just can't…

I wish that the elegant dance of us under the new moon could fix how my selfishness destroyed your emotions.

I sit on the bus on a foggy morning, the loud and rhythmic hum of the engine lulls the heavy heartbeat in my wrists.

I miss him…

But I think again, stopping my beating heart. Will I just hurt again by my inability to love?

My friend interrogates me on my most recent crush, her eyes glow with excitability. The same excitability that fades when she says that I 'don't allow myself to love.'

She's right, she always is.

I want to dance, oh to be comfortable in their touches and depend on them and not weigh them down with the burden of my anxieties. But I can't… I hesitate again.

I will lose him too.

In my imagination, our hands are lit up by the hesitant light of the moon. I want to feel the crevices of his hands in mine. The slow rush of air in my ear as he twirls me. A small smile that I wish were on both of our faces.

I stop, my eyes are heavier than the head that droops on my shoulders. The familiar sting attacks my eyes again.

I want to love… so much

Please

Dance with me in the dark?

#creative writing #writeblr #writing community #sad thoughts #longing #im so tired #the prompt was 'please dance with me in the dark #I wrote this on paper first #<3