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have you considered that this is beautiful actually. an excellent short story even if that's all it is

excerpt from something i'm not writing

Peter loves Jeff. Peter’s actually not sure if there’s anyone in the universe capable of not loving Jeff, and if there is, Peter doesn’t want to know 'em. That’s a line in the sand, morally speaking, Peter refuses to cross. 

“Mmmrrr?” Jeff trills hopefully as Peter picks up the last chorizo taco. Technically, Jeff is not supposed to be eating people-food. Technically, Jeff is really not supposed to be eating spicy people-food. This was made very clear in the Hawkeye’s Care And Feeding For Jeff instructions that are taped to Wade's fridge. That section is highlighted and underlined several times. 

Peter looks at Jeff. Jeff looks at Peter, his enormous liquid eyes so hopeful and full of love. Love for Peter. Love for chorizo. Love that might go away if Peter does not give Jeff his chorizo. Peter desperately looks at Wade for help, who just laughs at him. 

“Why are you looking at me to be the voice of reason here?” Wade asks, and yeah okay, fair point. 

“Kate said no?” he tries to tell Jeff. His perfect, adorable little sharky face doesn’t budge an inch. 

“Mmmmrrr?” 

“If he gets the shits, you gotta clean it up,” Wade says. Peter sighs and hands over the taco to Jeff. He snaps it up in one pointy-toothed bite and wags his tail happily. He’s so cute. This is worth it. Peter dealt with the Squelch tonight. He can deal with some shark poop.

Still, he looks at Wade accusingly. “You’d give it to him, too.” 

“Oh hell yeah. Absolutely. I’m a sucker for that little guy. Can’t resist shit from him. But he’s not asking me, he’s asking you, and you gave it to him, ergo, I’m the good shark-dad, and you are the bad shark-dad.” 

Peter rolls his eyes and settles back on the couch to better pet Jeff curled up beside him. Wade’s kicked back in the armchair adjacent to them, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of them. There’s an impressive amount of empty taco containers sprawled out on the table.  Peter will give Wade this: when Wade wants to feed someone he commits, enhanced super metabolisms notwithstanding. Pete hasn’t been this full since….well, actually. Probably since the last time he let Wade buy him dinner. 

“So,” Peter says, and watches Wade’s head lazily turn to look at him. “Ninjas?”

Wade groans. “Promise, baby boy. Random ninjas. Didn’t look like the Hand. Embarrassing that they got the jump on me, but I wasn’t on merc business. Took the month off for Jeffy-poo.”

And actually…yeah. Peter believes that. He knows Wade loves Jeff as much as Peter does. It’s a big deal for Kate to leave him in Wade’s care while she’s on a mission, and he knows Wade takes it seriously. Or, as seriously as Deadpool can take things. Wade’s still got his mask rolled up over his mouth, and Peter can see the new skin of his throat slowly being taken over by Wade’s shifting scars. 

Pete drops his eyes and scritches around Jeff’s fin until he purrs happily. 

“'Sucks,” he says finally. “Sorry, dude.” 

“Worth it, Websy. I’d get shanked all the time if it meant I got to hang with my two favourite guys,” Wade grins, and the sharp points of his incisors catch Peter’s eye. There’s something about that grin that causes Pete’s heart rate to spike, but before he can figure out why, there’s an ominous gurgle from the belly underneath his hand. 

“Mrrrggghghhh,” Jeff groans, and then it’s a race to see who will win: One super-powered man with enhanced agility and reflexes, or the compromised gastrointestinal system of an adorable sixty-pound land shark who absolutely should not be eating chorizo, holy shit. 

Pete wins by the grace of god and radioactive spiders, but it’s a very near miss. The less said about Jeff’s violent chorizo ejection the better.

#jeff the land shark #spideypool

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hey there, internet rando and fan of your work, here. been possessed by demons (spideypool) and am looking for a beta reader who's familiar with these dummies for a fic i'm writing. do you know of any resources in the greater spideypool fandom you'd be willing to share?

thanks!! <3

i'll do it lmao i love betaing. you can also ask around in the spideypool discord server, there's a channel for beta hunting in there plus nearly a thousand (!!) fellow brainrot sufferers to bounce ideas off of

#discord server #deadpool #spider man

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seven minutes in hell where you beat the shit out of each other. in a closet

#spideypool #cablepool

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#save me duck of creativity #duck of creativity #duck of creativity save me

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#watcher #we are watcher #or at least we were #no one WANTS “higher quality” no one can AFFORD “higher quality”

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#watcher

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youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position

#spideypool #also #me and WHO

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Look at them!!

#harlivy

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One (1) more self indulgent drawing of a chin hold and two people who are simps for each other

#harlivy

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i hate it when straight people ask me who my favorite spiderman is. like yeah it’s andrew garfield and they’re like “why” and i have to be like “oh well i just really admire him as an actor” when in reality its because hes a commie jewish bisexual peter parker truther and he’s CORRECT

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i’m micro plastic maxing. i want to give birth to a baby that’s already got shoes on

#laugh rule

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https://www.tumblr.com/sadisticmagicians/746075186316607488?source=share

ask-spideypool holidays era

y..yeah. yeah you're right.

#616 peter was also shot in the brain by wade iirc #maybe this is just standard heartmate behavior #spideypool

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Neil!!!

#god bless #neil banging out the tunes #my prayers have been answered

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really need neil and his tunes today lads

#puzzle speaks #tumblr holidays

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Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

#ME FR #i don't write much spideypool anymore bc those demons stopped haunting me #but i still think they're neat

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y'all gotta fuckin read this

#fic rec #not my fic #spideypool #crack fic #i never post fic recs but god this is chefs kiss content

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SCREAMPT

#she's right and she should say it #omegaverse is required feminist reading